Sarah writes:
I know there is a lot of discussion of using maiden names or other surnames as first names. Is it weird for people who are still living who have that as a last name? For example, I’d like to use my mother-in-law’s maiden name as a boy’s first name. However, her brothers, their wives and children (my husband’s aunts, uncles, and cousins) still have that last name. How weird would it be for a child to go to a family reunion and have his first name be the same as other family members’ last names? Is it best to use maiden names as first names only if the name is going to ‘die out’ and not be carried on my another generation?
I have a firstnamey surname in my own family tree, something like Jameson, and we considered using it as a child’s first name. It’s a little hard for me to tell if it would feel weird to my uncles and aunts and cousins who still the name (since I didn’t have the name myself), but my GUESS is that if they thought it was weird, they’d think it was cool-weird rather than awkward-weird or unpleasant-weird.
An acquaintance of mine used her mother-in-law’s maiden name as her child’s name, and when she speaks of it, it’s always about how happy and pleased everyone was; she hasn’t mentioned anything about the other family members feeling weird—but of course she might not mention it, and/or they might not have mentioned it to her.
I SUSPECT, though, that it’s not very weird, and that it’s quite positive and flattering. I’m imagining going to a family reunion and seeing a little Jameson, and I think I’d feel happy about that. It seems like it would trigger feelings of family pride and also of family inclusion: like, even when one of our own marries out, our name perseveres—and even though this little guy doesn’t have the same surname as we do, he has it anyway. Plus, it communicates strongly that not only do the parents feel favorably about that whole part of the family tree, they even like the sound of the family name!
But I think we need people who have actually experienced this to weigh in. Has someone in your family used your own surname as their baby’s name? And was it weird? And if it was weird, was it bad-weird or good-weird?
And if you haven’t experienced it, you can still make a guess as to how you and your relatives might feel about it if it were your family.
For our oldest we honored my husband’s step-dad (who has no children of his own and is the last male in his family) by using his last name for our son’s first name. It’s an unusual name but I personally know other children (not related) who are named it as well.
At family functions, all we hear is how wonderful it was we used the name so that it could carry on. There are other people (children and adults) in the family with the name also both makes and females. We would have used it for a girl also.
My partner’s cousin used her maiden name as her oldest son’s name (it’s Allen). There are a lot of people in the family with that surname and as far as I know no-one was upset by the name choice. I though it was a cool idea.
My husband has his mom’s maiden name, and in fact his maternal grandparents were around until just last year, and I don’t think anyone thought anything of it. Kind of cool, actually. Go for it!
In the South, especially in the Old South where I went to college, this was extremely common. There were lots of guys in my class with their mother’s maiden name as their first name – even though their aunts and uncles and cousins had the same last name. And they’ve been doing it for hundreds of years, so these first names were also often the names of streets and buildings. I don’t think anyone ever found it strange – it was just a family thing.
I have a friend – her mother kept her family name and then gave it to her for her first name. So like – Margaret Shelley and Shelley Davis. She (my friend) has an aunt on her father’s side who did the same thing with her son – Mary Davis and Davis Smith.
I always thought that was kind of neat and never heard of it being a problem.
I had a family member use my maiden name as their daughter’s middle name. I thought it was weird at the time because it was a little girl, and the maiden name is similar to Anderson, which I don’t think of as a girl’s name at all. Now that I’m older (I was maybe 13 at the time), I don’t think it’s as weird.
Not weird at all! My maiden name is $pencer (except the $ is an ‘S’) and my dad had all brothers, so I have 17 cousins (and 2 siblings) who shared my last name. So half of my cousins (the boys) still have the $pencer surname and the other half (the married girls) have different surnames. Of my girl cousins, 2 of them have already used $pencer as a first name for one of their children and I suspect it may continue to pop up.
We have the family surname Correy, and have cousins named Corey (m) and and Corie(f). Different spellings, but still honoring the family name.
My name is Taylor, which is my mother’s maiden name, and the last name of my grandparents, uncle, and cousins. I loved it, and still do. It was fun as a kid to go to the “Taylor” family house. I felt so special, and the namesake meant SO much to my grandpa.
I hsve a close friend who used her grandparents’ last name as the first name for her son. It’s the last name of her aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. And it’s not even a common first name like Taylor or Spencer. Everyone loves it. Go for it! I think your family would just be honored.
My last name is Cady and my cousin named her daughter this (it’s her mom’s maiden name). It’s still the last name of my dad, uncle, brother, myself, etc. Not weird at all; in fact, I think it’s really cool.
My mother’s maiden name is Chandler, and there are several siblings, great aunts and uncles and even my grandparents still operating with Chandler as their last name. We have 2 young children with the first name Chandler in the extended family tree, and everyone loves it! My great grandmother found it flattering to have her surname reused. In fact, she wrote a letter just before she passed that mentioned how honored she was to have namesakes, and she included the 2 boys named Chandler right along side all the Rachel girls. I don’t think its weird at all.
I think if you have a great family surname that you want to use for a first name, you totally should. I have two friends who have named their babies with their maiden names and they haven’t even changed their names. So, for example, my friend Cathy married a guy whose last name was Morrgan and her last name is something like Ripley. So she named her daughter Ripley Morrgan (with just one R, I’m trying not use her name but give you an idea of how it sounds) and her name is still Cathy Ripley. It sounds like it would be confusing, at first, but her daughter is 17 and it’s never been anything but charming and a nice nod to Cathy’s family’s name.
My mom’s maiden name is Kane, and there are two people who have used that as a first name, with success and without weirdness. Also, my grandmother’s maiden name was James, a large chunk of my mom’s cousinry is of that last name, and she named one of my brothers James, for her mother. Also, not weird, I think everyone kind of likes the honor and stuff. But James is an obviously first namey last name, so that’s different I think. Kane though. While I don’t care for it as a first name, it hasn’t been weird in the sense that my mom has four brothers and many cousins of same last name. And we have family reunions and stuff fairly on the regular.
I don’t think it’s weird at all. In high school, my boyfriend’s first name was his mother’s maiden name and he had a cousin from his mother’s side who had his surname as a first name.
So there were cousins named (pseudonyms, close enough) Cole Madison and Madison Cole. They and everyone in the family thought it was fun.
we have a 20 month old boy, and i’m about to have a girl, but if this baby had been a boy he was going to be named my maiden name. my dad is one of 3 boys, so i have 2 sets of uncles and aunts and many cousins that all still carry this name. along with my own parents and my sister, who isn’t married yet. we loved the idea that he would share that name with all of them. we are still saving it for our next one!
A friend kept her own name and also gave it to her son as his first name, and that doesn’t seem to cause problems at all. (In fact, it might make it easier to know that she’s his mom, since he shares his first name with mom and his last name with dad!) However, in their case it’s a popular first name in its own right—rapidly approaching the top 100. So I’m sure that makes it far easier than it might be with a more “last-namey” name.
I’ve not experienced it but I think it would be more sweet-weird than creepy-weird.