Adey writes:
We are expecting Baby Reid #3 on May 16th and are keeping the gender a surprise this time around. We have agreed on girl names but I am really struggling with the boy names!
First off, we already have 2 children.
Nolana Emmanuelle will be 3 in April (her name is pronounced “No-Lawn-ah” not “No-LAN-ah”) and we call her Lana (“Lawn-ah”) 95% of the time.
Our son Carson Roderick was born in June of this past year so it was quite the surprise to learn that I was pregnant again 2 months later! Seeing as they will all be so close in age I really want to make sure their names flow well together.My husband and I both agreed on the names for our first 2 kids. Nolana was a compromise seeing as my husband really wanted to name her Lana but I felt it was too short, so when I saw Nolana in my 100,000 baby name book I knew it was perfect. I am surprised however at how many people pronounce it wrong. Even people we have now known for over a year still manage to say is incorrectly despite us constantly saying her name, so we have tried to avoid names that would get pronounced incorrectly since. Emmanuelle means “God with us” which I loved, plus it had 4 syllables. I think longer middle names sound better with our last name. With Carson it took us months to agree on his name but I am so happy we did and the name suits him so well! Roderick is my husband’s middle name.
So now onto Baby #3.
The one, and ONLY, name my husband will even consider is Lincoln. He is so in love with this name that it surprises me because in 3 pregnancies now he has only ever picked up a baby name book once. It was always me suggesting names and he did the vetoing (like so many other spouses I read about on here!). He has begged for this name to be used in the previous 2 children but I managed to avoid it and since this baby is our last he knows it’s now or never to use it.
I feel stuck because I don’t hate the name Lincoln, but I don’t love it either. We agreed on Xavier for a middle name and I DO think that Lincoln Xavier sounds great – but again, I don’t get that “Love it!” feeling. BUT, I do like the idea of being able to tell this baby that “Daddy named you!”
I feel guilty because this baby is so close to my last pregnancy I haven’t even wanted to pick up a baby name book because I just did it a few months ago! We prefer uncommon names (preferably not even the top 100 although Carson was the exception!)
I guess my questions are the following:
1) What are your thoughts on Lincoln Xavier?
2) Does it flow with our other children’s names?
3) Is it okay to pick a name I don’t love, but don’t hate either?I would love to hear your input!
1. I think Lincoln Xavier read is a fantastic name.
2. I think it goes very well with Nolana and Carson.
3. I do think it’s okay to choose a name you like but don’t love, and I think the most likely thing is that once it’s on the baby it will grow on you until you DO love it—but there is, of course, also the risk that it won’t.
This is a crossroads for you. If you continue to like-but-not-love the name Lincoln, your husband will put all of his naming energies into convincing you to use it. If you want him to divert that energy to finding new possibilities, I think it will require you saying to him that the name Lincoln is out of the running as a first name, and that he needs to help you find something else. The tendency is for the parent who wants a particular name to think of it as the other parent’s responsibility to find a name that’s “better,” but that responsibility belongs to both parents.
If you decide you’re not willing to use Lincoln as a first name, one possibility is using it as a middle name. It’s not what your husband wants, but if having it as the first name is not what YOU want, it at least rescues the name from “never getting to use it at all.” But of course that still leaves us the problem of the first name.
It’s hard to know what to suggest. I think maybe “names that are in some way or another similar to Lincoln”:
Aidric
Atticus
Beckham
Deacon
Felix
Finnegan
Fletcher
Forrest
Frederick
Gideon
Langston
Lennox
Malcolm
Quentin
Shepard
Sterling
Sullivan
Tillman
Truman
(I had Anderson, Edison, Harrison, Jefferson, Lawson, and Wilson on there, too, but thought you might not want both sons to have a -son ending.)
Name update! Adey writes:
I am thrilled to announce that our newest little bundle, Lincoln Xavier Reid, finally arrived on May 19th @ 3:33pm weighing 8lbs 8oz and 20″ long. I cannot thank your readers enough for helping us make our final decision. Hearing so many positive things about the name Lincoln made it possible for me to allow my husband to name the baby what he had wanted! After reading through the list of Swistle’s suggestions I couldn’t help but think that none of the other names suited him and that perhaps he actually was a little Lincoln all along! Nolana and Carson are adjusting very smoothly to having another baby in the house and although we are extremely busy with 3 kids under 37 months, I can’t help but think that God knew exactly what he was doing. I love our little family!!
Thanks again for all your help.
With your husband consistently advocating for Lincoln with all three of your pregnancies — even “begging” you to use it, it would seem that he has been willing to go ahead with names he doesn’t LOVE (particularly for the baby boy who wasn’t named Lincoln) and settle for a name that he just liked. Therefore, I’d say ‘why not?’ to naming this baby Lincoln. You like the name well enough, and as Swistle said, I think you’ll start to love the name if that’s your little boy’s name. One thing you might want to do is to research the name Lincoln and make a compilation of all the great things about the name. That may help you to like — even “love” — the name even more.
For example, Cleveland Evans,Ph.D., President of the American Name Society, writes in his “The Great Big Book of Baby Names”, “Lincoln – English place name from Celtic “Lake” and Latin “colony”. This surname became an American first name during the Civil War in honor of Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States. Parents have recently rediscovered the name Lincoln, and it more than doubled in use between 1996 and 2004, ranking 549th on the SSA list that year, higher than at any time since the 1870s.”
Lots of positives here:
1. Lincoln was first widely used an American first name in honor of Pres. Lincoln, one of the greatest US presidents (perhaps THE greatest).
2. Your baby will be born during the year that marks the 150th anniversary of the Civil War, making Lincoln an especially significant choice.
3. Like Carson, Lincoln was first a surname. Like Carson, Lincoln is currently a fairly popular name. And both names have 2 syllables, ending in ‘n’. I find Carson and Lincoln very compatible names for brothers very close in age.
“The Baby Name Bible” says of the name Lincoln, “This admirable presidential choice with a stylish two-syllable sound has a tall, rangy, upright image and the cool nickname Linc.” The “Nameberry” authors recommend Lincoln as a “best bet” name.
Lincoln Xavier sounds very distinguished and would get my vote if there were a poll.
I’d go with your husband’s favorite, Lincoln. That will be so special to tell him that his daddy picked out the name specially for him. And I think men are more in tune with boys names.
Lincoln Xavier is wonderful and I think Nolana, Carson and Lincoln makes a lovely sibset.
I understand wanting to LOVE a name you choose for your child, but I also believe that if you do decide to go with it, you will love it, simply because it will be your beautiful baby’s name.
(Otherwise Swistle suggested a few nice ones. I especially like Lennox and Truman)
Good luck!
It sounds like he has loved this name a long time. How did he feel about the names you chose in your previous pregnancies? Was he the one who compromised? If so, it might be time to use Lincoln. I do think it sounds nice with the middle and sibling names, too.
Lincoln Xavier is a great name! I also like the idea of Lawson for you and how it DOES share the “son” ending with his brother. Plus, it’s similar to Lincoln so potentially a comprpmise?
I like the sound of Lincoln Xavier for your family. I do think it would be a great brother match for Carson. My only hesitation would be that Nolana goes by Lana most of the time, so you’d ‘in effect’ have two children with L names. Which may be something that bothers you or not.
We just had our 3rd baby – also a gender surprise after having a daughter and a son. My husband picked a girl name and a boy name before this baby was born. The girl name was one that he’d wanted to use for the two previous children. The boy name was one we’d considered for our son. He did compromise his favourites the first two times around, so I felt ok with compromising the 3rd time around.
So now we have a newborn boy and I can’t say that I especially love his name, like I did with the first two children. But I do love that his Daddy named him his top choice and I’m sure he’ll grow into his name and I’ll love it more over time. :) So I do think it’s ok to go with a name that you don’t love, but your husband does.
I think Lincoln Xavier is a great name. I wonder if you are so exhausted from a 3 year old, a 9-10 month old and a pregnancy, that it would be hard to get excited about any particular name. You are giving a lot of energy to your little ones.
When I was getting close to having my second son I was not as gung ho about his name as I had been about his brother’s name, but over time I’ve come to love it just as much.
I like your presidential theme with the boys. Other president names I like are Woodrow, Franklin, and Theodore. Supreme Court justices have had some great names too, like Learned and Thurgood.
What an EXCELLENT name!
Lincoln Xavier!
Wow!
You two have fabulous baby-naming mojo and have done a wonderful job choosing for your children.
Your daughter’s name is feminine and slightly exotic. Your son’s name is strong and implies chivilry. I’m intensly curious what baby #3’s name will be if he/she is a girl!
You’ve got good taste. All the best to your family as you anticipate your newest addition!
My little boys name is Lincoln Patrick! and of course i love his name!! everyone who meets him comments on how lovely his names is!! we call him Linc most of the time and my 3 yr old calls him Lincy! i think lincoln goes so well with your little boys name!! my partner hated the name lincoln at first but after a few of our friends said they loved it he seemed to change his mind! I think he needed to hear it from other people rather then just me!! another name we both loved for our Linc was Mason! Maybe hearing other peoples opinions on this site may help you decide weather you could love it or not!! goodluck look forward to seeing what you choose x
I know two Lincolns right now… one is 29 and one is 2! I think both are perfectly appropriate for their ages and both guys get called “Linc” a lot. I think its a good choice, and it def. sounds like a “normal” name to me! Some of the suggestions like Finnegan, Deacon, and Fletcher sound like pretend names when paired with Xavier!
I esp. like both names together. And Lana and Lincoln sound like a great set of kids, too!
I love Lincoln Xavier! I also love the nickname Linc (or Link). If I were in your shoes, I think this is what I would choose, not only because it’s a really kick-butt name, but because it’s a name that hubby has fought for for so long, and I think that would be something really fun to tell your son some day! I also agree with Swistle, that it’s a name you’ll probably come to love if you choose it.
Having said all that, I do understand your hesitation, so in the spirit of keeping things balanced, I’ll tell you I love Swistle’s suggestion of Atticus!
Love the amazing photo of you and your three babies and the close-up of your darling newborn Lincoln Xavier. I’m glad we helped you see what a fine name Lincoln is and how perfect the name is for your new little boy. Best wishes to you all!
Well, for those that are still following, it’s been 3 years since I have posted this!
Nolana is 6, Carson is 4, and Lincoln is now 3 (say What!?). It’s hard to believe that it has been that long, but I wanted to pop in and say “Thanks!” to all of those that made this possible.
We have received nothing but compliments about their names in the last few years, and although we do have to spell their names occasionally, I wouldn’t change it for anything! Their names suit them perfectly and I’m so glad I had you all to guide me to the right choice a few years ago.
Thanks :)