M. writes:

I am probably the most excited of your readers to be writing! You see, I have been reading your site for YEARS now… before I ever even considered I would be in this position!

This lil guy (a boy, due beginning of Aug) is a blessing but a little bit of a surprise:) I have been collecting names for years, and have a HUGE list… but no name seems to be fitting him! I like quite unique names, but not made up sounding (I have a common name and was always one of 3 or 4 in my class). The baby’s dad and I are not together, but he is part of the naming process. I thought I found the perfect name, and he completely vetoed it (Huxley)! GAH!

As of right now, my list is something like this:

Huxley (number one, but dad hates it),

Axyn/Axtyn,

Atlin,

Salix/Sylix,

Kaivor,

Kaius,

River (not sure about this one)

Kesler (except from friend/family polls they all assume I am naming him after the hockey player!)

I LOVE the name Finlay nn Finn but it is just becoming far too popular and unisex (both situations I strongly wish to avoid)!!! Same goes for Sawyer, Everett

Dad has suggested: Jetson (reminds me of the show which I hate)

Ari (entourage… Ari Gold – no good)

For middle names, I was thinking of using a family name, Robert. I also considered using Crosby, a family name on the dad’s side or Fyffe. Baby will have my last name (Weens) so trying to avoid names like Meyer, Oscar, Halo (haha if you add those with my last name you will see why!)

It appears that I like X, V, etc names (also Qs)…

I can’t sleep because of this naming problem and would LOVE to have a few fantastic top choice names before delivery:)

Thanks for all of your help

Thanks again

Unlike many people who write saying they’re looking for unique names, some of the names on your list may actually BE unique: they don’t appear on the 2009 U.S. naming records at all. But if you are trying to avoid names that seem made-up, I would remove Axyn, Axtyn, Salix, Sylix, and Kaivor.

But—ARE you trying to avoid made-up names? It looks like that’s what you LIKE. Just as I’d tell a parent who was trying to avoid Top Ten names even though her favorite names were Isabella, Olivia, and Chloe, I think you should go with what your tastes ARE, and not what you feel your tastes SHOULD BE. Though I’d caution that it’s a good idea to keep in mind that we give names to someone else, and that the Someone Else is the one who has to live with the name, not us: just as you had a less than favorable experience with your parents’ taste for a common name, your son might prefer to come back a little bit from the opposite end of the spectrum. Middle ground can be a pleasant place for finding names: maybe the occasional fluke of a repeat in a classroom, but not spending his whole life explaining his name, either.

I would also caution that it’s common for parents considering a unisex name for a girl to further feminize the name by changing a vowel to a Y. So often is this done, names with multiple potential spellings where the Y spelling is chosen can look automatically feminine. If you choose Axtyn, for example, I suggest spelling it Axton. Not only does this reduce the made-up look, it masculinizes a name many people will be unfamiliar with.

Perhaps you should reconsider Finlay, if you love it and the only problem with it is that it’s too popular. It wasn’t even in the Top 1000 for boys in 2009 (source: Social Security Administration), and the spelling Finley is only #722. The two spellings combined would be about #657, which would be about .0177%, or 1 baby boy named Finlay/Finley per 5,650 baby boys. That’s very, very uncommon. I wonder if it seems more common because of all the similar names: Finn alone, Finnegan, Griffin, Finian, Phineas, etc.? But I do think it’s worth re-thinking it: IS it way too popular for you to use? If so, I’m not sure any of the names I suggest will be suitable. [Note: I wrote this paragraph while working with an earlier draft of the question, which didn’t yet include the part about unisex being a problem. That additional problem with the name would normally cause me to delete the paragraph as no longer relevant, but…I did so much MATH! So I’m leaving it in because I think actual/perceived popularity is always an interesting topic, and also because I want to leave in the part about my own suggestions likely being too popular to use—but I’d no longer suggest M. reconsider it: it looks like it may very well go unisex.]

My first suggestion is Felix. It’s not a bit made-up sounding, nor is it common. It has the X you’re hoping for. I like it especially well with Robert: Felix Robert Weens.

If Everett is too common for you at #320, would you like Everest, which is not in the Top 1000?

Would you consider Crosby as a first name? It’s not in the Top 1000, either.

A couple in our birthing class named their son Xzathian (ex-ZAYTH-ee-an). Xathian (which I’d think could be ex-ZAY-thee-an or ZAY-thee-an, as with Xavier) would work, too.

More possibilities:

Axel
Cato
Cyrus
Baxter
Haskell
Jagger
Kelton
Lennox
Oberon
Orion
Paxton
Quinlan
Tycho
Xerxes
Zayden

Name update! M. writes:

Hello!!! Thank you all so very very much for your input and suggestions! I was SO excited and happy when I saw my post and loved all of the thought and advice. I just had the most amazing 9 hour labour that resulted in the (totally unbiased) most beautiful baby:) So so in love! I had him Aug 7th, 3 days before his due date (and he is my first!!!). Anyways! I had hummed and hawed over my list of names for so long… putting up polls on facebook, asking everyone and their dog about my names, and nothing seemed to fit. Then out of no where, about 2 weeks before I had him, I found the PERFECT name. It seemed to suit him and his little personality. I was afraid because some ‘internet tabloids’ labeled it as 2011 “hottest” baby boy name… and if you recall, i REALLY like unique names. I got past that though, since really, what does HOTTEST mean?! And I named him Asher August Weens. It is soft, yet boyish and proper at the same time. It means Happiness/Blessed in Hebrew and is just perfect:) Thank you all:D:D (all of my good pictures are on my phone, not my camera… but this shall suffice)

Kate writes:

ACK! Swistle, I’m so hoping you can help! I’m due to have a C section in TWO DAYS (like, Friday!) and my husband I still have NO idea what to name the baby! We’ve had a hard time with our previous kids but NOTHING like this…
Our names are Katharine Fay and Jakob Russell. We go by Kate and Jake.Fay and Russell are both family names. (my mom and grandmas mns are both Fay, same for J and his dad and grandpa, that sort of thing). Surname is Finchlee, a combo of the last names we came into the marriage with (we were lucky they were so combine-able–Kate Finch/Jake Lee became Kate&Jake Finchlee).
Our other kids are:
Wilhelmina Fay –9
Calista Rose –9 ——And they are called Willa and Calla. We think it’s matchy but not too matchy and Calla can always go by Callie if she wants.
Zachariah Russell–6 Theodore Scott–4 Philippa Darcy–2
so Kate, Jake, Willa, Calla, Zak, Ted, Pippa. Oh and our dogs are Icarus and Olympus.

Anyway that gives you an idea of our style.

And first names–well, we are both pretty obsessive and we really like the pattern we have going. This is DEFINITELY our last child and we don’t want to name him Aidan or something that just doesn’t go with his brothers, who both have long formal names and short, kicky three letter NNs.
The trouble is we are having trouble finding a name…and then Jake’s best friend was killed in a car accident last week and now Jake wants to use his name. His name was Lachlan. J suggested Maclachlan which gives us Mac. I like Mac a lot–to me it feels a little similar to Zak and Ted–except of course it rhymes with Zak when said outloud. We’ve considered Isaac for the first name, Isaac Lachlan, which gives us Ike–but again, so close to Zak, and even closer to Jake. We are sort of thinking of Nathaniel Lachlan/Nat but…well, we live in New England. Gnats can be a problem!

So that takes care of that. We don’t want to repeat an initial, BTW.
Ugh. As you can see, we are really and truly stuck. Also, what do you think about naming the kid after Jake’s friend? I THINK it’s OK, but the other kids all have family MNs and I’m a bit worried. OTOH, we’ve covered everyone we wanted to cover, both parents, my sister–except Jake’s brother, Jesse Nolan.

Oh and of course Max would be great, despite the common-ness of it we both like it a lot– but my sister Darcy had a baby girl right before I found out I was pregnant and named her Maxine Katharine (after me, yay!) and we see Darcy and her family all the time as we live 15 mins from them. Having a Maxine and a Max is just too close, especially for cousins that are only about a year apart.

So–help! We kept thinking we’d come up with SOMETHING but so far…nothing. Nada. Not a thing.

(Oh–the other kids have suggestions, naturally, but they are currently along the lines of: Harry, Neville, Albus, Severus–guess which books the twins have been reading–or Wilbur and Orville, a current obsession–in desperation I asked Pippa yesterday and she said Egg. While it’s certainly three letters it doesn’t QUITE match our style!)

Name update! Darcy writes:

This is Darcy, Kate’s baby sister. I am really pleased to announce that Kate had her baby yesterday. It’s a beautiful baby boy named…wait for it…
FERGUSON NOLAN
K&J wanted me to send out a special thank you to Swistle and her baby naming commenters (commentators?) who gave her the Ferguson idea, they really liked it and it turns out to have been J’s best friend’s (who was recently killed) middle name but it hadn;t occurred to them. They are calling the baby Gus and he is absurdly cute. Mom, dad, baby, and big sibs are all doing great, even though the twins pushed for Albus Severus til the very last second!

Megan writes:

I am hoping for some help. We are expecting our second son on May 30. My two year old’s name is William Troy and we call him Liam. Liam’s name came to us quickly and it fits him perfectly. What I like about his name is that it is a classic name with a spunky nickname.

Some info:
1) Our last name starts with a D and rhymes with Hirsch, and can be difficult to spell and pronounce.
2) I like Gaelic names because of our names (Brian, Megan, Liam), but this isn’t a requirement.
3) We really like Dean, Franklin, John and Patrick as possible middle names, which are all family names.
4) I think a two syllable name/nickname sounds best with our one syllable last name, and that’s where I’ve been stumped.

Here are the names we are considering:

*James Franklin (Jamie)–Currently our favorite, but is Jamie too feminine?
*Charles Dean (Charlie)
*Emerson Dean–No nickname. This seems like it’s becoming popular for girls.
*Elias Patrick (Eli)
*Sullivan Dean–Not sure about the nickname Sully.
*Franklin–What do you think of this for a first name? Not sure about the nickname Frankie.
*Patrick–What do you think of this for a first name? Not sure about the nickname Pat.

Other names we are considering: Miles (Milo), Henry, Keegan, Ian (not sure how this sounds with Liam), Noah and Jonah.

Names we thought about but won’t use: Aidan, Cameron, Declan, Finnian, Oliver, Samuel, Oliver, Owen, Ethan, Seamus, Sean and Henry.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

 
I think the main trouble is that the name William and the nickname Liam are such different styles: William fits with names such as Henry and Robert and James and John; Liam fits with names such as Corbin and Declan and Riley and Brendan. It’s hard to find another name that matches both the traditional/classic of William AND the Celtic of Liam.

Emerson is indeed becoming popular for girls, probably motivated by the popularity of Emma and the nickname Emmy. According to The Social Security Administration, in 2009 there were 1006 new baby girls named Emerson, and 632 boys.

My favorite from your list is Charles/Charlie. I think it’s perfect: it meets all your requirements and is a great name. William/Charles and Liam/Charlie is an excellent sibling set.

I also like Keegan so much with Liam—though less with William.

I wonder if you’d like Nicholas? Nicholas Patrick Hirsch; William and Nicholas; Liam and Nico.

Or Joseph: Joseph Patrick Hirsch; William and Joseph; Liam and Joey.

It doesn’t have a full-name version, but I like Casey with Liam: Casey Patrick Hirsch; Liam and Casey. As with Keegan, I like it less with William.

Let’s have a poll, over to the right! [Poll closed; see results below.]

Name update! Megan writes:

James Franklin “Jamie” D____ (rhymes with Hirsch) joined brother William Troy “Liam” on June 2! We’ve been told they sound like Scottish Highwaymen, which is fitting since I imagine there will be a lot of hijinxs with these two! Thank you for all of the help! :)

Laura writes:

Our second son is due to arrive on May 11, 2011 and we have everything ready, except for a name. We are in need of serious help. Our first son is named Cedric James. We love Cedric because its unique but not hard to spell or pronounce. It has a strong, masculine name meaning which we also like. James is a family name (my father). For our next son we would like to follow a similar pattern; a first name that has a strong/masculine name meaning, is unique, but easy to say and spell followed by a family name. We have decided on Jack for the middle name, after my husband’s maternal grandfather. It has been really hard for us to find a first name that meets the criteria and goes with Jack. I have argued for using John or Jackson as middle names but Husband feels very strongly that the middle name be Jack. Just Jack. Here is where it gets even more tricky, our last name is Wiedlocher (pronounced weed – locker) and we want to be sensitive to the fact that this is a mouthful of a last name and will be constantly mispronounced and misspelled for both boys their whole lives. My name is Laura and my husband’s is Zachary.

We have a short list of names that we both like: Ethan, Logan, and Landon. But do you notice how they don’t really fit our criteria?! Ethan is the only one that has a strong name meaning and all three seem like popular baby names right now.

We have also considered: Caden (but does this sound too similar to Cedric? I feel like I would constantly be calling for Cedric but saying Caden. Or the other way around.)

Husband likes Ethan the most right now because of the name meaning and how it sounds with Jack, despite it being popular. I don’t love it though. I am hoping for a first name that has a softer first syllable because I like how that sounds with our last name, which starts with a hard w sound.

If we were having a girl or if our next child is a girl, names that we love are Emelia (Emma), Elizabeth (Lizzy), and Charlotte (Charlie).

I have been diligently reading your blog for months hoping that the right name for our son would serendipitously be suggested by you or one of your readers. I have high hopes that you (and your readers) will be able to suggest name combinations that we had not considered or at least weigh in our top three choices.

Thank you so much for your help!

Here is something I’ve noticed in previous posts where the desired middle name was Jack: something about that particular name makes a “Panama Jack”/”Indiana Jones”/”Crocodile Dundee” sound with the first name. The first name ends up sounding like an adjective for Jack, which then sounds like the first name. I know your husband feels strongly about this, but I’d say it’s one of the main things blocking you from finding The Right Name, and I’d add my opinion to yours that he reconsider this. Could the middle name be after his father instead, to better parallel your first son’s name? Was his grandfather’s name John, and Jack a nickname? (Though of course if his grandfather always went by Jack, the name John may not seem like him at all.) Are there other family names that could be used instead?

Well. It sounds like the middle name is fixed as Jack, so I’ll proceed with that assumption. When/if you feel like you’re backed into a corner trying to meet certain criteria, remember that the name only needs to fit your criteria if YOU TWO want it to fit the criteria: if a name you love fails to fit in one area or another, you can choose to decide not to hold the name to that requirement. Criteria can help to narrow things down—but when your criteria are outranking your opinions, it’s time to rethink. And now I will say criteria some more, because five is not enough for one paragraph: criteria criteria criteria.

Caden and Cedric do have a lot of things in common (start with C, two syllables, D-sound in the middle), but to me their style clash is intense: Caden/Cayden/Caiden/Caeden/Kaden/Kayden/Kaiden/Kaeden is modern and part of the trendy Jaden/Hayden/Aiden/Brayden set, while Cedric is old fashioned and rare.

And you’re right: Landon (#36 in 2009), Logan (#17 in 2009), and Ethan (#2 in 2009) are all significantly more popular than Cedric (#702 in 2009). (All stats from The Social Security Administration.) So let’s go questing for some new possibilities.

Alan Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Alan
August Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and August
Conrad Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Conrad
Darian Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Darian
Franklin Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Franklin
Gideon Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Gideon
Isaiah Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Isaiah
Karl Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Quincy
Louis Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Louis
Malcolm Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Malcolm
Quincy Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Quincy
Roland Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Roland
Rufus Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Rufus
Ryland Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Ryland
Stanley Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Stanley
Terrence Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Terrence
Tobias Jack Wiedlocher; Cedric and Tobias

I’m not very knowledgeable about name meanings. In part this is because so many meanings are more like…”meanings.” They vary from baby name book to baby name book: one of my name books says Cedric means “model of generosity” and another says it means “battle chieftain” and another says it was made up by an author for a novel in 1819 and doesn’t mean anything. Very few meanings are official in any sense: some come from what someone in the Bible said the name meant (but what did the name mean before that?); some come from the meaning the name would have as a word in another language, if it were a word instead of a name; some come from a baby name book author’s imagination. Many come from such a long stream of related names and their derivations (“sounds like X, which is a shortened version of Y, which is a version of the name Z from another language, which comes from the root word for…”), there’s almost no connection at all. (I’ve written more on this subject here: Baby Naming Issue: Name Meanings and Baby Naming Issue: A Problem With a Name’s Meaning.)

However, name meanings are important to YOU, and so it doesn’t matter if they’re important to me or not, and so I’m using The Oxford Dictionary of First Names and The Baby Name Bible to look up the meanings of the names on my list above.

Alan: possibly from the word “rock”; handsome, cheerful
August: great, magnificent; majestic, venerable
Conrad: bold counsel; bold advisor
Darian: rich, kingly
Franklin: freeman; free landholder
Gideon: he who cuts down; feller of trees
Isaiah: God is salvation
Karl: free man
Louis: renowned warrior
Malcolm: devotee of Saint Columba
Quincy: estate of the fifth son
Roland: famous throughout the land
Rufus: red-haired
Ryland: island meadow
Stanley: near the stony meadow
Terrence: [no known meaning]
Tobias: God is good

Name update! Laura writes:

Thanks so much for your help. You and your readers helped Zach and I get around our baby name road block. We moved past Logan/Ethan as name choices and thought we would go for either Roland or Nolan. But then last Wednesday (May 11) when our son was born we both looked at him and felt like neither of those names fit him! Zach came back to the hospital the next morning with the name Elias, nickname Eli and I loved it. Cedric James is now the proud big brother to Elias Jack.

Thanks again!

Kylene writes:

We’re having a girl, due mid August. Our last name sounds like Ball and starts with an H. Our first daughter is Mara Kathryn (4) and our second daughter is Audra Neel (2). Both middle names are family names. Mara’s name was found on a biblical name list by my husband and it took me a day or so to warm up to it but then I quickly fell for it. Audra’s name was a challenge. My husband wanted Lucy, I was stuck on a friends name, Audra, not necessarily after her I just liked the name. After trying out Lucy for a few weeks and even telling friends that would be her name we decided it didn’t feel right and went with Audra. We’ve had a boy name picked out since Mara, Henry James, both family names that we would still likely use when/if we have a boy. We don’t have a final number of children decided upon.

We would like to use the middle name Marguerite after a dear family friend.

My husband suggested the family name Irene as a first name, which prompted me to find Irena. I think it sounds fresher than Irene, beautiful, feminine, flows well with our daughters’ names and the middle name. I am head over heels over this name but I don’t think I am going to be able to sell him on this unless he decides to let me use it as a gift. He thinks it sounds made up, isn’t wild about another ‘a’ ending name especially ones he thinks of as a name that you tag an ‘a’ onto.

I also love that our daughters names are pretty unusual. I love that people ask where/how we came up with them and am struggling with our current list not really fitting that.

Names I threw out but wasn’t sold on that he has nixed: Carys, Thea, Selah, Sadie, Louisa. Names he threw out that I nixed: Veronica, Louise. And I’m sure there were more in each direction those were just the most significant.

Still considering:

Elizabeth (nickname Eliza or Liza), how popular is Eliza getting?

Jane (seems plain especially with our common last name)

Irene (him)

Irena (me)

Brigid (front runner right now)

Simone

And open to more suggestions, we tend to like older, uncommon names. Biblical, saint, or family names a plus. I don’t like anything I associate as being common in my generation.

One more issue with our current front runner Brigid, how terrible are the initials BMH. We think it’s okay since you never really use your first and middle initials alone, but would like to sanity check that.

 
It’s interesting how you and your husband are so close on some names (Irene/Irena, Louise/Louisa) but still disagree. Paul and I found that same thing, when we were naming our babies. An example: I liked Elliot and he liked Eliot, and we couldn’t use the name because neither of us was willing to consider any other spelling.

With sisters Mara (#758 in 2009) and Audra (#984 in 2009), I think I’d go straight to the stand-alone name Eliza (#278 in 2009), rather than trying to get it from the significantly more common name Elizabeth (#11 in 2009). Here’s what the popularity of the name Eliza has been doing:

(screenshot from SSA.gov)

Rising, as you can see, but not fast—especially not in the last seven years or so, when it doesn’t even seem sure it IS rising.

I do like to avoid the initials such as B.M. or I.P. at all costs, but I am further along the spectrum for that than most (I even like to avoid non-negative ones such as I.Q.). I agree that when it’s a first and middle it’s not as big a deal as first and last (though I would still avoid it: I’m picturing it on a form as “B.M. H___”). How would you be pronouncing Brigid? To rhyme with rigid, or like the Irish pronunciation (more like “breed”), or a mixture such as brih-ZHEED? (Boy, that last one is hard to type out what I mean. By “zh” I mean the sound like in the middle of the word “measure.”) I wonder if you’d like Bridget instead: still uncommon (#424 in 2009), but significantly easier for others to spell and pronounce.

From your list, my favorite is Simone. I like how well it goes with Mara and Audra, but changes the end sound. Mara, Audra, and Simone. Simone was #620 in 2009, and its popularity is falling.

If Lucy was very close but not quite, I wonder if you would like the saint name Lucia. It can be pronounced several ways, but the one I’m picturing here is loo-SEE-ah. Mara, Audra, and Lucia: still the -a ending, but with a new sound and a new number of syllables. I am slightly worried about Lucia H___ being too similar to Lucille Ball, but since you considered Lucy I’m assuming you’ve thought of that and dismissed it—and I think I would dismiss it, too. I’m not sure it would even have come to my mind if “Ball” wasn’t the stand-in name we were using.

I just heard a name recently I wonder if you might like: Vayla. Vayla Marguerite H__; Mara, Audra, and Vayla.

But your husband would rather not add another -a ending. Your idea of Carys makes me think of Iris. Iris Marguerite H___; Mara, Audra, and Iris.

If you like Jane but it feels too plain (or you want to avoid the associations with either the actress or the journalist), perhaps June? June Marguerite H____; Mara, Audra, and June.

Oh, or Imogen? Imogen Marguerite H___; Mara, Audra, and Imogen.

Esmé Marguerite H___; Mara, Audra, and Esmé.

Some unusual biblical options: Zorah, Zilla, Shiloh, Bethel, Dinah, Tabitha, Cana. My top biblical choice for you is Junia: it does add another -a ending (so many girl names end in A!), but it’s two degrees of plainness away from Jane. Junia Marguerite H____; Mara, Audra, and Junia.

A saint name similar to Simone is Colette: Colette Marguerite H___; Mara, Audra, and Colette.

Another saint name that seems like a good fit (except for the -a ending) is Gemma: Gemma Marguerite H____; Mara, Audra, and Gemma.

Or Elodie, which I hadn’t realized was a saint name until this very moment: Elodie Marguerite H____; Mara, Audra, and Elodie.

Name update! Kylie writes:

Thanks so much for addressing our baby name issues. Your analysis and similar story really helped me move on from MY perfect name. In the end we couldn’t resist the classic, timeless Elizabeth that has always been my husband’s favorite. So Elizabeth Marguerite arrived August 15th. We call her Eliza.

Kailee writes:

My husband and I are expecting our first child, a boy, June 19th. We’re very excited, but I’ve been reluctant to nail down THE name. I keep thinking that we’d like to actually see his face before settling on a name. Plus, the real reason, I’m still not sure! In fact, I’m a little jealous of some of my friends who have their baby’s name already chosen. We’ve decided not to tell anyone our names, but now that we’re drawing closer to the due date, I sure would like an outsider’s opinion!

Our last name starts with an M and rhymes with “acquire.” We will use Patrick as a middle name to honor both my husband and his late father. We’d like to steer clear of any recent top ten names. Our short list is:

· Leo – Leo is also a family name, but I loved it before I knew that it was also the name of my husband’s late maternal grandfather. Is it overkill to give a baby two namesakes?

· Thomas – This is probably my husband’s favorite. We both love the nickname Tom too. A long distance cousin has Thomas as one of his middle names, though. So, is using Thomas as our baby’s first name a no-no?

· Eli – An early frontrunner for sure. But is it too much of a tongue twister with our last name?

· Harrison – A late addition to the short list, but we both love the nickname Harry.

A few other favorite names that have been vetoed by either myself or my husband are: George, Max, Greyson, Joshua, Charles, William, Finn

So, what are your thoughts? Any other suggestions? Thank you so much for your help!

 
I think Leo Patrick M____ is a great name. I don’t think it’s overkill at all to use two family names. Since this is your first baby, it’s a good moment to think about future babies and what you might name them. Will using two family names for this baby make you feel like you have to do the same for future babies? If you use two family names now, do you have plenty of other good ones or will you wish you hadn’t used two up on one child? And it’s even more confusing than that, because you might not have another boy, and then would you regret not using both names?

If the sound of Eli seems not-quite, I wonder if you’d like Elias better? Elias Patrick M______.

I also love Thomas and Harrison! (A long-distance cousin having the name Thomas as one of his middle names is irrelevant, I’d say.)

I wonder if the reason it’s hard to choose one is that you have so many good solid choices. It would be easier if you could eliminate one or two options before going to the hospital—but if not, I think going to the hospital with the list you have will result in a good name no matter what.

One way to help narrow things down is to think (for the second time in a single post) about future babies. With each name possibility, consider if it would eliminate a name you’d want to use for another child: if you used Eli, for example, maybe it would eliminate Ian and Ellie, or maybe you wouldn’t want to use any more biblical names; if you used Leo, it would eliminate Cleo and Leah—and maybe Eli and Leo are names you’d want to use one but not both, so you’d need to choose which name you liked better, that sort of thing. Think also about girl names you like: do any of your boy names clash or go particularly well with them?

Name update! Kailee writes:

Firstly, I wanted to thank you and your readers on our baby name dilemma! We were able to narrow our choices down to Leo (and adding a second middle name that also honored my family and avoided the Leo Patrick/Cleopatra sound) and Thomas after reading the post and comments. Our little boy came two and a half weeks early and we were very glad to have just two names to choose between after the labor! In the end, I was definitely leaning toward Thomas because I wasn’t sure I wanted to use THREE family names for one little boy! But, I insisted we wait to see our baby’s sweet face before finalizing.

When we finally saw him my husband’s eyes filled with tears when I said I think he’s a Thomas because we both just KNEW it was the right name. We are absolutely in love with our little guy and his name. Thanks again!

Please feel free to share the attached photo with your readers.

Cayce writes:

I am expecting my second child in July and we have been having a bit of a challenge choosing a girl’s name. My daughter’s name is Clara and my stepson, who lives with us, is named Ashton. We do not know the sex of this baby, but we have decided to honor both of our fathers by naming the baby Daniel if it is a boy. While his first name will be Daniel, we will be calling him by his middle name “Murphy” to avoid confusion with several other Daniels in our family. I adore the name Murphy, and it goes so well with our last name, Collins. There has never been any question that this is the best boy name for us.

When it comes to girl’s names we have been much more indecisive. The one name we love is Holland, but I am concerned that it sounds too rhymey with our last name. Holland Collins. I love it – I mean I really, really love it -but I’m worried that it sounds silly. And I’d rather choose another name that will grow on me than give my child a goofy name.

Others that we have entertained include: Mae, Murphy (for a girl?), Harriet (nn Hattie), Gretchen.

So, what do you think of Holland? Do any of the other choices seem significantly better? Do you have any other suggestions?

We tend to like more traditional names, nothing trendy. No odd spellings. Nothing with a strong Pop Culture reference (ie: Alice, Dora, Ginger, Clarice).

I look so forward to hearing your advice! I have discussed this with a few Mom friends of mine and got some very strong, but mixed reviews. Thanks in advance for your time.

 
Ha ha! I’ll bet you’ll get “very strong, but mixed” reviews here, too! I’ll start! To me, Holland Collins is all but unworkable: that is, if you had a very important reason for using the name Holland with the surname Collins, I would eventually say that in the end, it doesn’t REALLY matter how a name sounds all together and you should use it, and some girls change their surnames when they get married, so…it’ll be fine. But, lacking the very important reason, I would consider it completely out of the running, and would add it to the names many of us have had to eliminate because of surname incompatibility (I myself mourn for Ruben and Rufus). And I am sure there will be absolutely opposite opinions in the comments section, because this whole baby-naming thing is a matter of taste, and the further along the taste spectrum you get, the more divided and adamant the tastes will be—as you’ve found in your social circle already.

My first reaction to the name Holland Collins was purely sound-based. But my second reaction is stylistic: you say you like traditional names, and your daughter Clara has a traditional name, but Holland is an androgynous place name. (I’m not sure what to do with the name Ashton: Holland WOULD go well with that. I’m working more with Clara in this post, though, because a style clash between two sister names or two brother names is more noticeable than between one brother and one sister name.)

According to the Social Security Administration, the name Clara was #199 in 2009 and climbing; Holland isn’t in the Top 1000 for either girls or boys. Although Holland is used more often for girls than for boys (the nickname Holly contributes to this, I imagine), if I saw it with Clara I would guess boy: as a boy’s name, the name Holland has an old-fashioned gentleman sound that DOES go pretty well with Clara; whereas as a girl’s name, the name Holland is modern and boyish and would be an unexpected choice with Clara.

I suggest Holly instead: it works better style-wise, and lessens the impact of the repeating sounds. Holly Collins still has strong repeating sounds, and if you’d asked me about Holly before mentioning Holland I might have said it was too much—but comparing it to Holland Collins makes me feel differently about it, and in fact I kind of LIKE the repeating sound. Holly Collins; Clara and Holly.

Molly would work too, and would be even better with Clara, I think: Molly Collins; Clara and Molly.

Ooh, or Lily would work: Lily Collins, Clara and Lily.

I would like to steer you away from your idea of using Murphy for a girl. As with Holland, it is an enormous style leap paired with Clara, and doesn’t fit your preference for traditional names. Also, you say you’d like to avoid strong pop culture references: on a girl, Murphy immediately calls to mind Murphy Brown. This isn’t a reference her peers will be likely to catch, but you have Clarice on your list so I’m assuming you don’t mean only childhood pop culture.

From your list, the one that stands out to me as the best with Clara is Mae. Harriet and Gretchen also both work. Other possibilities:

Anna
Annabel
Eliza
Eloise
Frances
Grace
Lucy
Nora
Rose

Name update! Cayce writes:

Based on the favorable response from your readers we had decided to name our baby Harriet Wynne if we had a girl. Well, we had our baby and, while I was absolutely certain we would have a girl, we were blessed with a little boy! Baby Murphy Collins was born on July 19 at 7 lb 4oz. He is so sweet and we love love love his name. Thanks so much for your help!