Katie writes:
We are expecting our first child – a baby girl! I am due May 1. We want to use Hank as the middle name in honor of my father-in-law who recently passed away. Choosing such a masculine middle name has made it difficult. Our choices are…
Berkley
Nora
Esme (not sure if we would include the accent mark or not)
Matilda
ElysePLEASE give me some guidance!!!
Hank is a particularly difficult middle name to work with even if you were naming a boy. With a girl’s name, it is nearly impossible. Was Hank your father-in-law’s given name, or was it short for Henry? The name Henry would be significantly easier to work with, especially since it sounds like a surname: Nora Henry DeYoung works just fine.
If you must use Hank (if, for example, it WAS your father-in-law’s given name), I suggest using it as one of two middle names. Not only will this improve the rhythm and make the name easier to incorporate, it gives your daughter an option later if she would prefer not to have the middle name Hank.
Any chance you could use Hannah or Henrietta (if he was a Henry)? I like Esme with both of those. Nora Henrietta is nice, too.
Or could you save Hank for a potential boy down the line?
p.s. Swistle, you’ve included the poster’s last name in your reply though it wasn’t in the query.
StephLove- Yes—she included it in the title of her email to me (“Baby Girl DeYoung”) and it’s an altered version of her actual last name so I assume she was giving me the title for the post.
Please don’t use Hank. I agree with Henrietta or saving Hank for your little boy.
I have a boy’s middle name – wesley – because every first born male on my dad’s side does.. And I wasn’t a boy :) however, I really like it! (Full disclosure: I did NOT like it in grammar school!) I think it’s very cool and unique, and I love that I’m carrying on my dad’s family tradition.
It is kind of difficult but from your list I’d say Berkley is the best, as it’s sort of non-gender specific too.
Alice- I like it, too! I think Wesley, like Henry, works fine as a girl’s middle name.
I do have to agree that Henrietta sounds like a good solution. Or using Hank as a second middle name (Elyse Katherine Hank DeYoung; Nora Berkley Hank DeYoung). Or saving it for a boy.
Berkley is occasionally used for boys, so that’s the one I would definitely not use with Hank alone. So as not to confuse people I feel you need an undoubtably feminine name.
Nora and Matilda (with mn Hank) sound the best to me.
Good luck!
If you’re FIL was a Henry, I would use that. If he was a Hank, I like Hank with Matilda. If you like Elyse, maybe Eliza works for you too? I like the rhythm better with an extra syllable. I wouldn’t use an androgynous name such as Berkley, since the middle name Hank is so masculine.
I’m a vote for using Hank or another variation of your FIL’s name though. I think it’s a lovely tribute.
Since he was your father-in-law you likely share a last name. One thing you could do would be to match initials. My dad’s initals were RSC and my brother named his daughter Renee Sandra C. to honor him. Granted my dad’s initials were rather important to our family as it was part of the family business name but it is still a nice way to honor someone without using the actual name. His middle name was Sidney so I plan to use that as a middle name for my second son due in July and would have done the same if this baby was a girl (Sydney) but that is a much easier boy/girl name to use. Good luck with your decision!
I don’t actually see a problem. As it’s a middle name and she wouldn’t be called Hank, I find it unique and very cool! I, personally, would go ahead and use it proudly! But I love unique names, and unique uses for classic names, so… :-)
Rebecca- Could you put together a couple of combinations that sound good to you? I had trouble getting the rhythm to sound right.
I agree with Christine’s points. Matilda Hank is a great name. I love it.
It sounds like you know that Hank is the right middle name for your child, so I think you should stick with it.
I do think it rules out Berkley, both because of the repeating “k” and because I would assume Berkley Hank is a boy, and just Berkley seems unisex to me.
If you’re in the US, Esme will lose her diacritical mark in most databases, in most states. But she’s familiar enough that I don’t think it matters.
My first choice would be Matilda. Matilda Hank DeYoung sounds great, and is clearly feminine. Plus, Matilda’s vintage vibe pairs well with an offbeat middle name.
The other three are fine, but they’re brief. Hank is so abrupt that I prefer the rhythm of Matilda Hank DeYoung to Nora Hank DeYoung or Esme Hank DeYoung.
A few other ideas:
Elena Hank
Mariah Hank
Cecily Hank
Romilly Hank (Again, a surname, but feels more feminine than Berkley)
Rebecca Hank (More conventional than most of your choices, and repeats the k sound – but I like it anyhow.)
Geneva Hank (Quirky like Romilly, but slightly more familiar.)
Best wishes!
I think the more syllables in the first name, the better. Also, the more feminine, the better, too.
Anabella Hank
Anneliese Hank
Eleanora Hank (nn Nora)
Alexandra Hank
Samantha Hank
By the time I read all these comments, “Hank” began to sound very surnamish to me, so I’m coming around to liking it as a way of honoring your FIL. I agree that Henry would be much easier to pair, but if he only ever went by Hank, it’s less of a tribute I suppose. Of your list, I like Matilda Hank the most. I also really like another commenter’s suggestion of Eleanora, nn Nora.
Good luck!
I don’t even want to offer an opinion on the Hank/Henry/Henrietta question. Naming a baby after a deceased relative as opposed to a living one offers you some measure of freedom (i.e. the relative isn’t going to feel offended that you didn’t use his/her exact name) — how you choose to pay tribute to your father in law is completely up to you. If you feel that giving your daughter a middle name similar to or inspired by Hank is an adequate way to honor your father in law — if you know you’ll think of him when you tell people her full name, and you know that explaining to her the story of her name will help her get to know her grandfather even though she never got a chance to meet him — then choose a Hank-like name that sounds and feels right to you. If you think that choosing any name other than Hank will be settling and will not feel like enough of a tribute to you, then Hank is the name you should use and considerations like rhythm, gender clarity, etc. should come second.
I have four children, and am pregnant with my fifth. ALL of them have names that honor somebody. Unless you are planning on not having anymore children, I would wait to use Hank for a boy. You will have other opportunities. I did not have a girl until my fourth child, so I had to wait a while to name her, but her name (Caroline Violeta after both of her grandmothers) fits her perfectly. Girls already take so many names from boys, I would wait and you will see that the name Hank will fit the child you use it with perfectly. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and I wish you a safe and easy birth! Good luck!
Since you like ‘Nora’, do you like ‘Lennora’ or ‘Elenor’? They would add a syllable to give a more compatible rhythm with Hank.
I, too, agree with multiple other posters that ‘Berkley’ is a FANTASTIC name, but with ‘Hank’, it probably would make your sweet daughter sound like a son.
For something else with feminine distinction: Eglantine. Eglantine Hank DeYoung.
All the best to you as you welcome your little wonder into the world!
As long as you want to use Hank as a middle name for your daughter and not as a first name, I think it would be cool.
I love Matilda Hank, but Nora Hank and Esme Hank works too.
Other names . . .
Bellamy Hank
Adelaide Hank
Juniper Hank
Rosalie Hank
Amelia Hank
Coralie Hank
Elizabeth Hank
Felicity Hank
Isabella Hank
Louisa Hank
Luella Hank
Georgia Hank
Violet Hank
Good luck!
I think that if you want to honor your late father-in-law by giving your baby girl the middle name Hank, you should do it. I love Swistle’s suggestion of using two middle names, Hank being one of them. Middle names are SO rarely used, and if I were named to honor someone so dear to my family, I think I would be happy about it regardless of the name’s masculinity. If I were you, I would use Hank as is, if that is is given name.
I would not use Berkley as a first name, as Berkley Hank DeYoung sounds like a strapping young boy to me. Nora Hank DeYoung and Esme Hank DeYoung are both lovely, and they would be extra lovely with an added girly middle name as well.
FTR, if you use Esme, I think adding the accent mark is a good idea. Otherwise, to me, it looks like Es-mee, not Es-may. The accent would help people who’ve never encountered the name.
Of your shortlist I like Elyse best as a stand alone name.
I don’t think you should be detered from using Hank by anyone else’s comments. If its important to your husband to honor his father that should be the most important consideration – not how the name “flows” or how others perceive it.
I do like Swistle’s suggestion of adding a second middle name. Elyse Katherine Hank DeYoung could work nicely for you.
I added an ‘a’ to Hank — Hanka — and thought it sounded like it might be a female name, maybe Scandinavian. A google search revealed that Hanka is the name of a popular Bosnian folk singer. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanka_Paldum
Nymbler agrees that Hanka is a name of Slavic origin, a from of Hannah. Hanka is also found in Arabic (“happiness”) and Japanese (“flower”). http://www.nymbler.com/info/f/hanka
I find Hanka far more appealing than Hank as a middle name for a girl and think Hanka would be a name that both honors your father-in-law and gives your little girl a more appealing middle name.
Esme Hanka DeYoung
Elyse Hanka DeYoung
Another option could be to use the girls’ name Hanka to honor your FIL. Legitbabenames.com lists Hanka as the Czech/Slovak nn for Hana/Hanna; there’s a famous Bosnian folk singer called Hanka Paldum; and Nymbler.com says of the name Hanka:
A girl’s name of Arabic, Japanese and Slavic origin. Hanka has never been a common name in the United States. Meaning: Japanese: flower. Arabic: happiness. Slavic: a form of Hannah.
I think either Esme Hanka or Elyse Hanka would be an excellent name.
As for the accent mark or not with Esmé/Esme, I did some research on the name after a nephew and his wife named their daughter Esme last year. I like the accent mark because it makes it clear that the name isn’t pronounced “EZ-mee” as I’ve read that it is about half the time in the UK, where Esme was a Top 100 name in 2009, ranking 95. (In the U.S. there were only 231 girls given the name, making it a particularly good choice for American parents seeking an established, yet not overly used, name.) Either way – with or without the accent mark, a girl named Esme/Esmé could add or subtract the accent mark from her name since it wouldn’t turn up in many records anyway.
With Elise, I prefer that spelling as the more usual one since the name derives from Elisabeth. Since your last name appears to be of French origin, I would recommend spelling the name Elise.
It occurred to me that your surname similar to DeYoung may be of some European origin other than French. Either way, throughout Western Europe Elise would usually be spelled that way, coming from the Continental spelling of Elisabeth. Elise is considered the classic spelling, steadily in the SSA Top 1000 from 1880, while Elyse is a modern variant spelling which didn’t consistently make the Top 1000 until 1983. (Elyse made its first SSA Top 1000 appearance in 1944, but was off the chart again by 1957.)
(Sorry about the double posts about Hanka. I posted last night, but it wasn’t included this morning. Thinking I must have forgotten to hit “publish”, I rewrote it this morning. I think including links in the first ‘Hanka’ post may be what delayed it’s publication.)
I’ve recalled that the mother of Abraham Lincoln is remembered as Nancy Hanks Lincoln, Hanks being her maiden name. Somehow “Hanks” sounds better as a second name for a girl/woman than Hank, in the same way Henry, with it’s surname history too, sounds better than Hank. So perhaps Hanks might be another idea for your daughter’s mn, as in Hank’s granddaughter?
Nora Hanks DeYoung
Elyse Hanks DeYoung
Esme Hanks DeYoung
Matilda Hanks DeYoung
I like it with any of your clearly feminine girls’ names.
It has occurred to me too that if you use Hank as the middle name, the full name will be exactly the name your FIL was known by – Hank DeYoung — with a girl’s name preceding it:
Hank DeYoung
Esme Hank DeYoung.
On the other hand, using a middle name very similar to Hank, but not exactly Hank — like Hanka, Hanks, Hanna — would make your daughter’s name more her own while still honoring her grandpa with her middle name. Preferring classic, traditional, gender specific names, I would probably go with Hanna as the mn:
Esme Hanna DeYoung
Elyse Hanna DeYoung
Granddaughter of Hank DeYoung. I think it’s still obvious that her mn was chosen for your late FIL.
Or Hanna as her first name would be lovely too and again an obvious tribute to her grandfather.
Hank DeYoung
Hanna DeYoung
I don’t think you have to limit yourself to just “Hank” in order to clearly name your baby girl for your FIL.