Josie writes:
I have a two part question. We are expecting our first child- a boy- in August. We have decided on one of the names- Clayborne, and will call him Clay (family name). My husband thinks this is better as a middle name and I hate the idea of using the middle name as the name he will go by. I think this will lead to a lifetime of confusion and always having to explain that your first name is something else but you actually go by the middle name. So, my first question is, what do you think of going by the middle name?
And the next question is what to pair it with. Our original plan was to name him Clayborne Walsh (also a family name) but we are having second thoughts about Walsh. Other possibilities are more common family names: Joseph, Andrew, Charles, Robert.
Our last name is common and goes with anything.
So, do you think Clayborne works better as the first name or middle name and should we stick with Walsh or change it to one of the other names- either as first or middle. (Clayborne Joseph, Joseph Clayborne, etc.) We are going to call him Clay regardless.
Thanks so much!
Sometimes when parents decide to call a child by the middle name, it’s because they feel obligated to use a family name as the first name, but they don’t actually like the name or want to use it—or perhaps it’s a Jr/III name that would cause confusion. So they call the child by the middle name, and that makes sense to me.
Sometimes when parents decide to use the family name as the middle name, it’s because they don’t like the family name and don’t want to use it. So they tuck it into the middle-name slot, and they call the child by the first name but have fulfilled the obligation to use the middle name, and that makes sense to me.
But in your case, you like the family name, and you want to call him that, and you’re going to call him that no matter what. So it doesn’t make sense to me to put it in the middle-name slot: there’s no reason for it, and that’s what would cause the confusion. I think you should give him Clayborne as his first name.
Now, about the middle name. I think Walsh is a great middle name, and especially with Clayborne: Clayborne Walsh. Nice! But if you’re feeling ho-hum about it, let’s take a look at the other options:
Clayborne Joseph
Clayborne Andrew
Clayborne Charles
Clayborne Robert
My favorite is still Clayborne Walsh.
But let’s vote! Poll over to the right. [poll closed; see below]
[Poll results:
Clayborne Walsh: 115 votes, roughly 69%
Clayborne Joseph: 19 votes, roughly 11%
Clayborne Andrew: 20 votes, roughly 12%
Clayborne Charles: 4 votes, roughly 2%
Clayborne Robert: 9 votes, roughly 5%]
[Name update! Josie writes:
Hi-
Wanted to let you know that our baby boy was born last week and we ended up naming him Clayborne Joseph. And we literally didn’t decide on the middle name until a few hours after his birth.
thanks for your help.
josie]
Another strong vote AGAINST using a middle name as the name he’ll be called by. My husband goes by his middle name (a nickname for his middle name, at that) and it’s been nothing but a headache for him. It’s particularly annoying in his professional life where he’ll work with people face to face who know him as “Matt” and then they don’t make the connection when they see his full name written down on correspondences.
I like Clayborne with a more common name like Joseph or Robert. Two surnames seems like an awful lot of name to handle.
Good luck!
I go by my middle name (and have since birth) and it’s never been an issue. My driver’s licence is First Initial-Middle Name-Last name. I’m pretty sure my passport is Middle Name-Last Name. Most people have no idea I have a “first name”. I actually really like my first name and the flow of my names as a whole and would never change it even if were as easy as a mouse click. If you sign everything MN-LN and nobody ever calls you by it, there really is no confusion. Incidentally, my father is known by his middle name as well and as far as I know it’s been no problem for him either.
I agree that if you really like Clayborne and plan on calling him by Clay, then you should use it as a first name.
I also agree with dirtyhippy about using a more common middle name with Clayborne. Walsh is nice, but it does seem like a lot of name. I really like Clayborne Robert.
I think you should use Clayborne as the first name, if that is what you want to call him. By the way, I think Clay is a great name for a boy.
But I would go with a more traditional middle name. In your case, I like Joseph. I think Clayborne Walsh sounds a little like a company or a law firm.
I just like, in most instances, if you use an unusual first or middle name to balance that out with a more tradional.
I agree with the poster who said Claybourne Walsh sounds like a law firm (especially when you add your surname on top of it – three surnames in a row!!). So I would go with an actual first name either before or after Claybourne.
I just had a long conversation with my dad about the middle-name-first thing (both he and my brother go by their middle names). His opinion on the matter is that it was never a bother for him until the world became computerised! Now he somehow has credit cards with different versions of his name, his passport has another version of his name and initials etc. However, it is a good screen for telemarketers (if anyone calls asking for his first name his spidey-senses are alerted!) I say go with your favoured name as first name!
I say go with Clayborne as the first name. My brother is a middle-name person and says it’s a pain.
I chose Clayborne Andrew. However, the original suggestion of Clayborne Walsh is certainly a good name. Seems a little heavy, but maybe I just mean dignified. Would look good as an author on the cover of a book!
I must add myself to the chorus of others suggesting you use Clayborne as a first name if that’s the name you like and what you want to call him.
My grandfather goes by his middle name and says it is quite an inconvenience, especially when he orders something online because the online forms often only allow for the middle initial so he can’t put first initial, full middle name on his order.
I like the idea of pairing a more unusual name with a classic name.
It was down to Clayborne Joseph or Clayborne Robert. Robert happens to be my husband’s name so I’m partial to it. In the end, I voted for Clayborne Joseph because I felt it had better flow.
My sister has always been called by her middle name and it hasn’t been a problem for her.
I agree that Clayborne Walsh might sound like a law firm. However, if you like it, go for it. In daily life we rarely call anyone by both their first and middle names.
I also think you should just Clayborne as the first name, since you know you want to call him Clay and you don’t mind Clayborne as a first name anyway. :) Just go for it.
I voted for Clayborne Walsh. Since it was your first choice, and I think it does work, I saw go with your instincts and choose this one. :-)
You won’t believe this, but I was on the web today and decided to type in my own name in a search and it brought me straight to this forum page. It was very interesting, needless to say. My name is Josie Lynn Clayborne. Strange, isn’t it?