Christa writes:
My husband and I are expecting our second baby, it’s due in about 2 weeks. We think we have our names picked out, but I am afraid that we have run into a problem. Our first baby girl, Addison Jane, is 2 years old. We both love her name and agreed on it right away. The names we picked for baby number 2 are Liam James or Alexis Ann. We would most likely use Lexi/Lexie as an occasional nic-name until she was old enough to choose what she wanted to be called. We are planning on having a third, and maybe fourth child, and the other boy name we love is Lucas (no middle name yet). That would leave us with a possible 2 A-named girls and 2 L-named boys. And it is totally a coincidence, those are just the names we love.
A little history: Jane is my middle name as well as both of my grandmother’s first names, James is my husband and both of our father’s middle names, and Ann is both of our mother’s middle names. My name starts with a C, my husband’s name begins with an S, and our last name begins with a K, ends with an S and is one syllable. His side of the family has a tradition of naming the first boy S-name James K___s. We do not like any S names, so far, but you might come up with one we didn’t see, and we would consider it for a second boy. My husband originally picked the name Liam and is in love with it, so we are tied to that.
My husband can be a little picky, he seems to relate certain names with certain things. Names that are out are: Mark, Michael, Patrick, Jennifer, Claire, Jessica, and Katherine. I know that all the names we like are pretty popular, but to be honest, we have liked those names for years – even since before we were married. I would like to think we go for trendy first names with a classic middle name. And we have picked the middle names we did for family connections, so first names are all for ‘fun’.
I like Jocelyn, he doesn’t. I like Ellen (Elle/Ellie for short – I know, not too trendy), he hates it. Other that what we have, I’m not sure what he likes.
My question is: Should we look for other names to replace Alexis and Lucas (Luke)? Should we be worried about the possibilities? Could you help with possible suggestions?? It’s hard to look for more names when we already love the ones we have picked out.
Thanks for your help!
If you think you might want more than four children, you could briefly consider whether you’d feel “stuck with” using A/L names for additional children—but on the other hand, you might very well have one girl and three boys, or four girls, or some other combination that doesn’t lead to two A girls and two L boys anyway.
I’ve found, too, that with each pregnancy, my name list changes. We had a girl name picked out for our first baby (a boy), but we didn’t use that girl name when we had our girl years later. We had two boy names picked out when I was expecting the twins (a girl and a boy), but we didn’t use the unused boy name when we had another boy two years later. It’s possible that some of the A/L names you’ve chosen now won’t be candidates once those future babies actually arrive on the scene.
I have given this some mulling, and here is what I think: use the names you love. I think you’re smart to consider the issue ahead of time so you don’t get backed into a corner, but I don’t think you’re going to get backed into a corner.
[Name update! Christa writes:
Hi Swistle,
Thanks for you encouragement. You were right, we shouldn’t worry about it too much.
We had a boy! Liam James was born July 24th weighing 6 lbs and 4 oz. It has been busy around here with a slightly jealous 2 year old and a new born!
Thanks again,
Christa]
Both my parents have “C” names, my brother and I have “T” names, and I have two siblings with “J” names. None of our middle names are similar (except all are biblical), and I always thought it was neat. My parents never planned it to be that way, they just chose the names they liked, and it turned out to be a little match-y. I think that if you do end up with A/L names, it would not be anything more than a little cute. You should go with what you like and what works within the tastes/traditions of your family. Congratulations on your second blessing!
Something else to consider: in the context of most of their adult lives your children’s names will not be said together. The possibility of all of your children putting each others’ names on their resume is remote.
I understand how it might be fun to come up with sibling names that complement each other. However, other than avoiding match-y names to avoid confusion, I disagree with the notion that sibling names should somehow go together. I don’t even think it is a big deal when siblings have completely clashing names.
I say pick the names you love and don’t worry about it.
I don’t think you’re backing yourself up into any corners, just pick names you like! Swistle is right, too, you don’t right this moment need to pick other names out considering by the time you have child 3 & 4 you might already have new name ideas in your head; these things do tend to shift & change over time (especially since you never know who you might encounter in life… you might meet a really terrible person named Luke before you have a Luke yourself, and that possibly could change your opinion!).
So for now, just sit back, relax, and enjoy baby number 2. Pick out names you love, and if you still love them when 3 & 4 come along, then use ’em!
Also, don’t put too much stock into initials. I think siblings names should match in some ways (ie. not all be names of different cultures or something… a Lindsay and Zygmunt don’t really go well together!) … but I don’t get all hung up on the initials thing. I think it’s more about the individual names that you like, and if they start with the same letter – whatev! :-)
I think initials only become a “thing” if you make them into a “thing”. So the families that purposely choose all the same initials, I do think they tend to TELL people that they have chosen the same initials on purpose. Families were it happens because the like the names, they just say “oh, we just liked those names”. It’s whatever you make of it, in my opinion. :-)
I love the names you love — great choices! Addison Jane is classic and beautiful, and I think goes very well with Alexis or Liam (or Luke!).
Congratulations on your new arrival! I agree with Swistle- go ahead with the names you love now (especially since it was so difficult to find two you both loved) and see what happens down the road! You never know- you could end up with triplets next time! ;)
My sister had two boys with the same initials and it was great for hand-me-down monograms!
I think the A-name, L-name issue should be a non-issue. If you make a rule for yourselves that you need to have names that begin with the same letter, you narrow your name options tremendously and will most likely end up naming future children based on a first letter, not your first choice. (or even tenth choice, for that matter)
My first two children, girls, begin with “H”. We didn’t do this on purpose…we just liked the names. When I was pregnant with my third, many asked us what “H” names we had picked out for baby number 3. I never even considered continuing with “H” names. If we had had a girl, her name would have been Brittany. We had a boy…his name begins with “R”.
When I was a child, the people down the street named all their children with “K” names. I remember when I was about 8, overhearing a conversation between the very pregnant mother (expecting #7) and a neighbor. She said, “I just don’t know what we’re going to do…..we can’t find another boy’s “K” name that we like. We don’t want Ken because it reminds me of Ken and Barbie.” (very popular toys at the time) Even at 8, I thought it was ridiculous to pick a name because of a trend they had started 7 children ago! They had a girl and named her Kay.
I have 4 siblings. 4 of us have “D” names and the second born has a “B” name. Occasionally, someone asks why there is a “B” in a family of “D’s” . My parents happened to like a “B” name and the others just happened to begin with a “D”.
My advice…..name your children something you love.