Lola writes:
In your opinion, what type of rule applies to male/female form of a name within a family?
I’m expecting a baby girl in a few months and we like the name Danielle. Our 10 years old nephew’s name is Daniel (nickname Dani). We are a close family, we live 1/2 hour away and spend most holidays together. On the other hand, they will be 10 years apart…
Thank you for your input!
This is especially tricky since they’re using the feminine nickname (Dani) instead of the masculine (Danny).
Here is the thing: If I were you, I think I would choose not to use the name Danielle in this situation. But so much depends on how fond you are of the name Danielle. Is it the name you’ve cherished all your life, the only name you both agree on, and the name that makes you think, “That’s my baby”? Or is it “a name we like”?
I don’t think it’s worth the hassle, but I can see how someone else could think otherwise. What do the rest of you say about it? Would you use the name Danielle in this situation?
I would use Danielle in that situation, especially because of the age difference. In a few years he may want to be Daniel, and he’ll be off in college or something anyway. I have two cousins with the same name and no one in the family even thought it was odd. It was popular and they both liked it. They had different last names, so that may have helped. Will Daniel & Danielle have the same last name?
I would not use it. I would faster name a son Daniel having the same name as his cousin rather that a girl the feminine form. Having the same name is much different than having the feminine version of the name.
What about
Gabrielle
Gabriella
Stella
Adelle
Helena
or if you are set on D names
Darcy (I love Jane Austen)
Dalia
Delaney
I wouldn’t, no, in this case (very similar names/nicknames; close family that gets together often).
But if it were, say, Charles and Charlotte, or Michael and Michelle, I might have a different answer.
If it would be on the top of your list without the Daniel in your family, then I would most definitely use it. I think the two names are different enough and when your family is together, you will quickly figure out name/nickname differences if needed. The age difference was the kicker for me… I might think twice if they were very close in age and would be very close growing up, but since they won’t I don’t think the similarity is a big deal.
I would take Daniel’s parents into consideration as well- are they the type to throw a fit over you using a similar name, or are they okay with it?
And do you plan to call her Danielle all the time, or Dani sometimes also? Or maybe Elle?
I wouldn’t use it for the same reasons that Mayberry gave.
What would Daniel say? I think I’d ask him, he might think it’s neat (or not) and then you’d know!
I wouldn’t use it.
If you do name her Danielle, I agree with k in the mirror, I think “Elle” (pronounced “el” or “ellie”) would be a darling and different nickname.
In my family, the cousins share names and it’s no big deal. We have two Davids (born 2 years apart) two Jonathans (born 10 years apart) and two Benjamins (born 4 years apart), all first cousins who see each other regularly. My husband has put his put down that we cannot use any of these names for our kids now, but I would be happy to. You just use qualifiers (big Jonathan, little Jonathan) or initials (DW, DJ) to help if there’s any confusion in a conversation. It works, but then my mom and her siblings are easy going and nobody felt that a name “belonged” to them once they used it.
The point of this long story is that I would go ahead and use Danielle if you love it.
My husband has three cousins named Robert (one uncle is named Robert and they are all named after the grandfather), three named Daniel (Dan, Dan, Danny), and there’s an Erin and an Aaron. However, there are forty first cousins (this is all on my MIL’s side ONLY). Irish Catholic much? I think it works out okay in their situation, but in a smaller family I think it could just be confusing. I’d avoid it if you can come up with something else you both like.
I don’t see any problem with it, assuming it’s The One, as in the perfect name for your baby and you can’t see anything else working. Also, as long as Daniel’s parents don’t have a problem with it.
Like others have said, you will figure out who’s who. How is it any less confusing than a father naming his son after himself and so on?
Oops, I meant “how is it any MORE confusing,” not less!
I say you can use it.
In my head I see Daniel and Danielle as two different names. I am not one who thinks family members should use the exact same name, but I’m cool with situations like this.
Michael and Michelle would be acceptable in a family; I think Daniel and Danielle are acceptable too. They’re pronounced differently if you say them outloud.
Also, the age difference plays a role here: 10 years is huge, even if the families are close, cousins with a 10 year age gap will not necessarily form a close bond; it’s more likely that she’ll be closer to cousins nearer to her own age (put it in perspective: by the time she’s gone from baby to “kid”, she’ll be let’s say 4… and he’s a teenager at 14… by the time she’s 14 and he’s 24, the names won’t matter and I doubt they’ll be hanging out together; gender also plays a role here too).
It’s a bit unfortunate that the nickname “D-a-n-i” is being used, as Swistle pointed out that’s typically the feminine nickname for these names, but I do like the suggestion of the nickname “Elle” (especially since Elle is a well-known first name now, it’d be completely acceptable).
Go for it if its the name you love! To put your mind at ease you could always broach the subject with Daniel’s parents so they aren’t surprised, but I think they’re completely different names and you can go ahead and use it.
Here is Lola with some answers….
First of all, THANK YOU for your thoughts!
Both cousins will have different last names.
We are a small family. So far, there are only 6 cousins. My baby will be #7 and hopefully will add one more cousin to the count.
Ooops! my mistake! His nickname is spelled Danny, he is usually called Danny, little Danny and sometimes baby Danny (by his grandmother). his dad (also Daniel) is called Dan.
I’m not really thinking about nicknames at this point. I understand my Danielle will need a different nickname than Danny or Dani… I like Elle or Dunie (Dune+ie).
Little Danny’s parents are my husbands’ sister and brother in law. They are extremely easy going. My husband says he sees no problem with our choice, that they won’t have an issue at all. I’m the one thinking I might not like it if things were reversed….
Yes, I love the name Danielle. It works perfect with our last name.
Thanks again! Lola
PS I appreciate the suggestion to ask little Danny how he feels about it. I just want to come up with a second good choice just in case he is not thrilled.