I’m starting back to work tomorrow, just two hours at a time for now; this was the physical therapist’s suggestion. She says she thinks a good long on-ramp is a good idea, to give the knee time to adjust, and because stamina can be very reduced; and because there may be job-related tasks I can’t do or have trouble doing, and in that case we can work on those in physical therapy, but not if I’m too tired/sore/busy from doing too much. AND: the movement at work can be good for the knee at this point, and good for getting it strengthened in the ways it needs to be strengthened.
I’m nervous about it. It’s been seven weeks since I’ve been there, and there have been some of the kinds of management shake-ups that are boring to tell but destabilizing/upsetting to those of us who work there. When I emailed that I could come back, my boss called me LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES LATER and talked excitedly for OVER HALF AN HOUR; she sounds very…wound up…about everything. I’d said in my email that the physical therapist recommended coming back for short shifts at low-pressure times, and it sounded to me as if my boss had not read anything except the part about coming back to work, and after half an hour on the phone (paid time for her, unpaid for me), hearing about how they still haven’t figured out how to cover the shifts that became uncovered six weeks ago (at the time I thought, “How nice that this will all be resolved by the time I get back, without them being able to use ME to resolve it”), and all the new things she wants to show me how to do (when I am already stretched far too thin at that job), and all the help they need on desk (when I am supposed to be shelving), I felt like I was already burned out before stepping foot on the premises.
At times like this, it helps me to remember that no one is forcing me to do this job. I can actually leave. Even if I don’t WANT to leave, OR think it will come to that, it still helps to remember that I CAN: it removes the element of panic. WHAT IF I GO BACK, AND IT’S EVERYTHING I FEAR, AND THEY GIVE ME EVEN MORE RESPONSIBILITY WITHOUT ANY CORRESPONDING INCREASE IN PAY, AND I AM STRETCHED SO THIN I END UP HATING THE JOB I USED TO LOVE, AND I CAN’T MAKE MYSELF HEARD ON THAT TOPIC, WHAT THEN????? Well, then I hand in my notice, that’s what. I leeeeeeeeave. I go get ANOTHER low-paying entry-level no-benefits job that will gradually become intolerable, and I continue that pattern until I retire.
Also at times like this, it helps me to remember all the times like this when I have been suffused with weariness and dread and exit plans beforehand, and then I get to the thing I was suffused about and it’s fine. GOOD, even. In this particular case, people are going to be happy to see me, and I am going to be happy to see them, and I’m going to bring in a big box of doughnut holes for all of us happy people. People are also going to be RELIEVED to see me: my knee surgery, which I carefully scheduled to avoid the holiday-time-off season and the spring-break-time-off season, accidentally corresponded exactly with the destabilizing shake-ups and some serious staffing shortages. I don’t have to worry that I’m not as fast or capable as I was, because anything I can do will still make less work for other people.
There’s nothing like workplace drama! I hope it goes well and that you have a great first day (couple of hours) back!
Good luck going back! I love how you processed this- you can always quit! And then cone up with the things that will help you go in with a smile. Just make sure you have strong boundaries about what you can physically accomplish in your early weeks back. Don’t let them guilt trip you into pushing yourself too far.
I’m in a similar situation- my job is good, my colleagues good, institutional drama and concerns bad. But I can always quit ( or not be rehired)! I’ve plotted out a couple of alternatives if that would happen. Trying not to get too anxious about it because it’s really out of my hands. ( I go in with donuts every so often because I like my coworkers. )
I hope re-entry goes smoothly for you. It sounds like you have good coping mechanisms in place, though, if it doesn’t.
Good luck! I hope it is good!
I go get ANOTHER low-paying entry-level no-benefits job that will gradually become intolerable, and I continue that pattern until I retire.
I feel this deeply, the only good thing, for me, about being so under-employed, is that it’s just not that big a deal if I quit this job and move to another one. I hope it goes better than you think it will!
You didn’t ask for advice, but this sounds like a good opportunity to apply the “blame someone not present” method of dealing with unwanted situations. Here are some examples: “Oh, I’m sorry!” when they present you with a full schedule, “my physical therapist said I can only go back two hours at a time!” *shrug* “It’s not going to work for me to be at the desk, my physical therapist said I shouldn’t sit for that long.” You could probably even get a doctor’s note. When I was pregnant my midwife recommended this, saying I could blame her if I felt like a watched kettle with visitors lingering, waiting for me to go into labor. “Sorry!” *shrug* “My midwife says I need to go to bed early!” She wasn’t there for them to get mad at. It works great.
In a somewhat similar work situation over here. I have to keep reminding myself of the responsibility structure. The workload/due dates are unrealistic, and I raised the warning. Nothing was changed. So when the crunch comes, I simply say, this is the best I can do, and then stop at the end my assigned hours. The scheduling was not in my control, and it is NOT my problem to solve. I won’t work overtime to solve a problem that is not mine. It’s not my natural way of thinking, but I am working hard to preserve my sanity.
That sounds so stressful. I am glad you have your coping mechanisms set up.
I also really like what Anna and Susan said.
And ALSO, if they are adding more responsibilities, which you are not being paid for, you can ask for more money. What are they going to do, fire you? They are already stretched too thin.
I feel you. I got back on Monday after 6 months of leave. Both of my work BFFs have left and we have had significant changes. Today I did nothing but nap and eat thin mints. I am dreading it!