I had an over-reaction to Christmas lights—and actually, already, mid-sentence, I want to go back and say it was NOT an over-reaction, and I am not sorry, and I was right.
If you use and like LED lights, I would like to warn you that you may find yourself getting a little protective of your lights during this post. I am going to use judgement words such as “right” and “wrong” and “ruin Christmas.” Normally when I write a post like this, where I know for sure that my view is subjective and other subjective opinions are just as valid, I temper my vocabulary to reflect that knowledge. And as each sentence unfurled, I attempted to do this, but I could not do it FULLY—not without tempering the strength of FEELING. So you will have to know, as you read, that I KNOW that LED lights are almost certainly morally and ethically superior; and that I KNOW that many people like them and even PREFER them to incandescents; and that I know that they are not wrong to feel that way because this is only about PREFERENCE and I know that; and that I KNOW that LED lights are great in many ways, such as that you can plug so many of them together, and they don’t cause fires, and you can use so many more of them without creating a horrifying power bill. I know all these things. I DO. But you are going to have to read this post as FEELINGS. If necessary, change the words around: imagine it is someone talking about how they used incandescent bulbs and found them so pallid and old-fashioned and wasteful and outlet-hogging and dangerous they couldn’t stand it and had to start over; rejoice with them, as I would, as they go back to the store and get LEDs and now they are happy! Know in your heart that I only care about MY tree in MY living room: I don’t have important feelings or opinions about YOUR tree because that is YOUR tree. This is a post about Christmas-light FEELINGS at a time when feelings are already elevated by many other things. It is a post about ANYTHING that causes intense feelings at this time when feelings are already elevated by many other things. It is a post that lets you skip a boring argument about which lights are better and why, and instead say “Oh, I know: I had a similarly intense reaction to star vs. angel this year” or “I can’t explain it, but I started crying when the particular holiday stamps I’d chosen were out of stock” or “For some inexplicable reason, this year I am spending WAY too many hours dithering over gifts—and when I finally choose something and order it, then I spend the next days hand-wringing that I made the wrong decision, and sometimes canceling the order so I have to start all over.”
To finally begin the story: I’d started at a certain level of stress just because it was important to me to get the tree decorated during the few days the twins were home for Thanksgiving. We didn’t do it Thursday, and Edward was away most of Friday getting a Crohn’s treatment, and we were going to be driving them back on Sunday, and here it was Friday evening and the lights weren’t even on the tree yet. Paul brought down the lights from the barn, and these were expensive good-quality “heavy duty” indoor/outdoor lights purchased within the last 1-3 years, and all of the strings failed to light. ALL of them. I tried other outlets just in case: nothing. I looked at them for obvious damage: nothing. On two of the strings, a short (two-foot, maybe?) section DID light. On the other strings, nothing lit. Inexplicable and maddening, and what a colossal waste.
I went to Paul with the issue. Normally I would wait for a sale on lights; normally I would buy them on one of my errand days; but this was the situation, and tomorrow was the last day to decorate the tree, so we drove to Target 20 minutes away and bought lights. Paul thought we should get LED lights. We both remembered that I don’t like LED lights, but we both thought maybe my various issues with LED lights had been resolved: the picture on the box looked exactly the same for the incandescent and the LED lights, so maybe LED lights were good now, and not cold and too intensely colored and overbright-yet-unglowy. My beloved little lighted birch trees are lit with LED lights and those are nice and warm and glowy! And anyway we’re liberal progressive Democrats and we should have the energy-saving lights.
We got them home and I started to put them on the tree. I had bought more lights than I’d thought we’d need, but they only covered 2/3rds of the tree. I unwound all the strings and started over; now they covered 3/4ths of the tree. I attempted to rally: I told myself this was fine, we would just decorate the bottom 3/4ths together, and then after the twins were back at school I would go buy more lights and decorate the top 1/4th myself. No big deal. I went out of the room to wash my hands and get rid of the empty boxes—and when I came back into the room, I noticed I hated the lights.
I talked myself through it: I don’t HATE the lights. The lights are FINE. I was fine with them the whole time I was putting them on the tree (twice). They’re just DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE. Of course there will be an adjustment! Just because they look like PRIMARY POSTER-PAINT COLORS, and are FAR FAR TOO BRIGHT, and there is FAR TOO MUCH BLUE HERE, and they have NONE OF THE MAGICAL GLOW OF CHRISTMAS LIGHTS….*pant pant* NO no, it’s fine, they’re fine, I’m just adjusting. Besides, what is the alternative at this point? Yes, we spent more than double to get not-enough LED lights and they weren’t even on sale and I don’t like them, but it is mid-evening and we only have one more day. Am I really going to box up all these lights, drive BACK to Target, get the WASTEFUL incandescent lights, and start all over putting lights on this tree??? No. No.
…Yes. I unwound all the strings of lights off the tree. I carefully packaged them up exactly as they had been, all the little twistie-ties and extra bulbs and paperwork. It took forever, but not as forever as I’d feared. I was almost meditative as I did it: focused, calm, resolute, driven by certainty that this of all Christmases is not the one to try to get through without enjoying the Christmas lights on the tree. Nor do I want to wait until mid-December (when the twins are back again) to do the tree. The options therefore have narrowed, and the one that gives me what I want involves considerable time and hassle; nevertheless I choose it.
I went to Paul. I hate the lights. There aren’t enough of them. They ruin Christmas lights for me, and Christmas lights are one of my top favorite things about Christmas. One single car dealership (and we live among MANY) uses more electricity in ONE SINGLE HOUR than our little tree will use ALL MONTH, and our tree will bring significantly more joy. Somebody asking ChatGPT A SINGLE DUMB QUESTION TO GET A SINGLE DUMB ANSWER probably uses more electricity than our little tree will use. He got his coat and we drove back to Target, another 40-minute round-trip. We returned the lights mere hours after we’d bought them, and the clerk didn’t even blink. “I changed my mind about LED lights,” I said apologetically. “You’re allowed,” he said pleasantly. “I’m still a liberal progressive who thinks the environment is one of our primary worldwide concerns,” I managed not to add.
We bought incandescent lights for less than half the price of the LED ones. We bought the cheap store-brand ones, because buying the expensive heavy-duty ones hadn’t prevented the wastefulness of strings breaking. I bought half again as many as I’d bought before, and still had to add in the two 50-count light sets I’d had on hand to send back with the twins (who had already said they didn’t want them). The tree looks wonderful. The lights look right. During dinner William put on a couple of episodes by a YouTuber who feels as I do about LED lights, except the YouTuber has found a brand/kind he likes, whereas I still don’t think they’re right.
I waited this entire post for an over-reaction. “you yelled at a kid” “you yelled at your beloved life partner” “you abused an angry target employee” “you knocked over a tree”.
Instead the whole story was you bought something you didn’t like and you prioritized your enjoyment by exchanging it for something you did like.
Good for you. Good for you for taking care of yourself and doing what you needed to in order to enjoy the holiday. Good job.
I am a fan of LED lights in certain contexts (my parents decorate their fireplace mantle with a short battery-operated strand, and it looks very pretty), but as tree lights they look ALL WRONG. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I think it’s because they’re not as glowy as the regular kind.
Also, the overhead light in my living room is an LED light, and aside from being too bright/harsh, one of the little bulbs…exploded?…a few months ago and nearly burned the whole place down. (There were SCORCH MARKS on my CEILING.) So while I fully believe that they’re much safer overall than incandescent bulbs, they are not without risk! (Also, my old ceiling light came with a remote to adjust the brightness and switch between warm- and cool-toned light, and the one my landlord replaced it with doesn’t have that feature. Not that I’m still mad about it or anything.)
Right now I believe in the restorative power of making intentional choices that make us feel good. Feeling agency where we can (where the world is a scary disaster because we tried with the election and it didn’t work) is a small antidote to terror, helplessness, and meaninglessness. You took back your joy from a despairing situation. Hell yeah. This is how we get through.
It was the lights, of course, but it was also the pressure we put in ourselves to Optimize All The Things. It’s something we do to ourselves that we’d absolutely rail against if someone tried to do it to us. “Something’s got to give”, we’d say; “you ask the impossible of us, and this is the best we can do.” It’s the best gift when we can give ourselves grace.
I love everything about this, Swis.
“This is a post about Christmas-light FEELINGS at a time when feelings are already elevated by many other things. It is a post about ANYTHING that causes intense feelings at this time when feelings are already elevated by many other things. ”
I don’t have the same feeling about lights but I’ll tell you what I do have feelings about: the song Last Christmas. I love that song. I love the original. I love all of the many, many remakes. I even like a weird one that features a harmonica and possibly steel drums. I love them all. Every single year I get hurt feelings when someone posts on Facebook that they are playing Whamaggedon, wherein players avoid hearing it, which is phrased as the Worst Christmas Song ever where in my mind, that title belongs to Wonderful Christmastime AND IS THERE A GAME TO AVOID IT? No there is not. Am I harassing everyone who enjoys that tuneless song? No I am not! I LOVE LAST CHRISTMAS and it hurts my feelings desperately every year that people say mean things about it.
So you enjoy your lights! You enjoy the hell out of those lights! I support you fully in this.
I’m with you. Last Christmas is great. Wonderful Christmastime is so obviously the worst Christmas song that I find myself completely flummoxed when someone calls it their favourite (Jimmy Fallon, recently). As my husband says, it sounds like someone falling down a flight of stairs. (It’s better when he demonstrates.)
I couldn’t agree more about Last Christmas, I love it, and am somehow personally offended by the mere existence of Whamaggedon. But I humbly suggest that “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” is the Worst Christmas Song Ever. I agree Wonderful Christmastime has a very annoying chorus, but I saw a tweet/post/meme/joke at one point claiming the song is about friends practicing witchcraft, but then someone walks in and they have to suddenly hide what they’re up to (“The moon is right, the spirits up, we’re here tonight, and that’s enough — someone walks in, quick, pretend we’re cool — SIMPLY HAVING A WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME”). It’s not, of course, but the joke still tickles me, so I have a tiny soft spot for it.
I am a hundred percent on your side on this. I have tried, TRIED to like the LED Christmas lights. I just bought a couple expensive strands of GE Colorite LED lights that people online said looked almost just like incandescent Christmas lights and I very much disagreed. They still look WRONG. These expensive lights will likely get used outside. The previous test strands I bought a few years ago have been used exclusively as outdoor lights.
I am having such a hard time this year. So much illness and death in my family, and every day I come to see what you have written. I cheered for you in this post. I love everything about how you handled this. Thank you so much.
Lots of hugs to you!
I hate LED lights. I don’t know if it’s thE LED or new stuff being garbage but none of my strands work and they are not that old. Huge waste of money. My husband keeps saying they are better than the old ones but I don’t see how.
We bought a pre lit tree this year; first time in almost two decades of living together. It’s been amazing! Mainly because I’m the one responsible for watering the live tree, vacuuming and stringing lights. I don’t miss those jobs.
In my previous post I was talking about my outdoor lights; I’m sad about our presentation there. :-(
My husband has been watching videos by the same YouTuber! We couldn’t get the type he seemed happy with up here in Canada, but we ordered some for next year. Disappointing to hear that they are still not The Same. We have a few packs of new LED lights purchased this year that we have yet to put on the tree… although it’s possible the husband and kids have put them in while I’ve been away dealing with my father’s passing away. I hope I won’t return home to lights I hate.
This was such a harrowing story and SUCH a happy ending. I am so delighted you went back and got the good lights!!!!!
This was a very satisfying story to read. I probably would have put up with the lights I didn’t like and been sad about it, but this is a much better ending.
… yeah. The LED lights that are colors instead of white, in particular, are *drastically* different. I think there are some warm white LEDs that might be acceptable as Christmas lights for those who put only the clear lights on their trees, but I haven’t seen a single set of color LED lights that did not scream WE ARE LED INSTEAD. And it is totally fine for people to like that look! But also yes, christmas lights are one of the most soothing things about December so: having ones that are soothing to you instead of irritating: way to go!
I will say that we’ve had decent luck with GE incandescent lights; decent being ‘most strands last 2-4 years’ (with occasional outliers either direction), but honestly I think the ultra-cheap one-year-only ones may end up matching or beating them on price per year! But it results in less throwing-away and I am okay with it.
Someday, being a clear-light person, I may end up finding the perfect color temperature warm white LED strands, but until then I will aim to reduce environmental costs in other places.
A happy small win for you and I support your choice completely!! We got the same cheap incandescent (white) lights for our porch railings and every time I see their warm glow I feel a tiny bit cozier and calmer. If I could go back in time I’d buy a million incandescent light bulbs and use all the storage spaces in my house to hoard them, that’s how much I hate LED lights.
I have LED lights decorating the outside of my house and i HATE THEM. But it’s mostly because they’re those cold white lights instead of warm yellowy ones. Half of one string stopped functioning this year and while I didn’t have the energy or bandwidth to go replace them when it happened… I am taking it as a sign to go bananas on clearance decorations after the fact this year and have fresh BETTER ONES for next year.
Coloured LED lights look to me like the warning lights on a computer or a security system. I hate them. What I cannot understand is why someone isn’t making warm white LEDs with small plastic covers in the shapes of 80s/90s lights, and in a full range of colours like we used to get, not just red/yellow/blue/green like the hated LEDs but also pink orange purple aqua