I don’t want to move on from our feelings about this recent U.S. election and the probable impending collapse of democracy it portends, but also I have other things I want to talk about with you: pelvic-floor therapy; the results of a second ultrasound after an iffy mammogram (I’m not going to tease: the radiologist said the rogue lymph nodes have decreased in size and so I can come back for my usual annual mammogram) (though I have some uncertainties about this); an upcoming car purchase (before the descent of tariffs); Christmas shopping for a holiday “adopt a child” program, which is currently doing some heavy lifting in terms of preserving my sanity; Advent / countdown-to-Christmas calendars; co-worker holiday gifts, and what to get for the pelvic-floor therapist; what we’re buying our impossible-to-buy-for grown children; and my parents’ adoption of an Election-Stress-Reducing Cat, who spent his first week hiding in the ducts of their furnace.
This post is going to be politics-related, and then after that I am probably going to talk about something else, and I entirely understand if you are not ready to read about Something Else right now. It has only been a week and a day since we found out that we were going to be reliving a nightmare; there are daily horrifying previews for this nightmare (a Fox disinformation-television news host as the head of the Department of Defense!! sure why not!!! how could that go wrong?!?!?); it is not weird to prefer to nope-out of posts on lighter topics. You will not hurt my feelings if you skim and skip as needed. I have been drifting in and out, myself, and when I am not in the right headspace I have been skipping/skimming other people’s posts on lighter topics, and on political-ranty topics, depending. Sometimes I can think about things other than this country’s political catastrophe, and sometimes I need to drift in the abyss of horror, and sometimes I can’t spend one more minute hearing about the abyss of horror and I want to see pictures of someone’s dog/cat, and all of these are fine ways of being.
Heck if I can find it, but I am sure I recently mentioned that I finally purchased a one-line-a-day diary that’s been in my online cart for YEARS; there are tons of options, but I chose this one:
(image from Amazon.com)
I have liked this idea for so long, but struggled with When To Start It. New Year’s Day 2020? My 50th birthday? Some random day, to take the pressure off? I finally decided I would just buy it, and then if I were struck by the impulse to start it, I would have it ready to go. Four days after the election, I was lying awake simmering in nauseated horror, and I thought of a good start-date: Election Day. It would mean fudging several days’ worth of entries, but let’s not let the perfect be the enemy of the good: this project gave me a flicker of interest, and that is something to be seized. And I was able to recreate the first four days pretty accurately using posts and emails.
I am going to record this presidency (the next five years of it, anyway), but only one line a day. (Would you like to do the same? Join me.) I am hoping this will help me to narrow things down, and condense. What is the MAIN THING that happened each day: be BRIEF. This will also give me room to record the happy surprises that are bound to happen even in this timeline: for example, today the satire/humor site The Onion purchased the disinformation site InfoWars, and plans to remake it in a better image. I have written it down for today.
I don’t know where I am in this whole *waves hands around* thing. I too vacillate between/among all the things.
I am an accredited La Leche League Leader and haven’t been leading meetings. I think I shall start. I am writing this places so I follow through. It’s a thing I can do. It builds community.
Otherwise? My daughter and I have taken up horseback riding which is awesome and costs a fortune. That shall continue as long as we still have money.
I do like non political posts and also sometimes want the political and often regret it. Though the infowars news was a welcome win.
I seem to have a thin and brittle shell, recently (for the last week or so).
I will be doing okay, and then I’ll read a news story about, say, floods, and I’m a blubbering puddle of tears.
And reading/listening to politics is making me incoherently ragey. That’s any politics, from any of the three countries I (usually) follow politics in.
I’m currently watching David Attenborough and wildlife, but it’d better not get sad!
I don’t know how much of this is cope, but I have decided that the world has not ended yet and the future is uncertain and so it’s basically one foot in front of the other time. And I have absolved myself from heroic martyrdom to save democracy and am allowing myself to believe that being a good person out in the world counts for something too. Last night we had Girl Scout Skate Night, and Girl Scout Skate Night hopefully makes it that much harder for my extremely diverse little community to turn on one another. But it still really really sucks.
I totally understand if people need to peace out on non-political news, but honestly all of the stuff you mentioned in your first paragraph is stuff I am dying to hear about. I can only do what I can about the whole political horrible dire mess (and I am doing what I can) but I am personally in need of pelvic floor therapy and scared of it, so hearing others talk about it might get me to make the appointment. And also I have some children and a spouse who are IMPOSSIBLE to shop for and Hanukkah is around the corner. So please count me in for some everyday fare. Also I am glad your rogues are chilling out.
I’ve moved on from the denial and sadness to the fury stage about the election results. Last night I was ranting to my father who voted for the organge baffoon. He was gracious about our differences in political views, and seemed to think that things are way more rosy than I’m picturing them. I’m not sleeping and am about a moment away from shouting about the situation. Sigh.
I too am curious to hear about others’ experience with pelvic floor PT. I found it *not that bad* in terms of the appointments (Some appointments required a gyn type exam, but that didn’t bother me). There were appointments over a couple months and then they told me they did all they could for me. It wasn’t helpful in really improving the issue that brought me there in the first place.
I am very thankful for your comment about the pelvic floor PT. I am a little disheartened to know it didn’t do much for your issues, but it is good to hear that the appointments aren’t so bad, or at least aren’t much worse than a gyn exam.
Me too. My way of coping with this has been to avoid it altogether, so I would love to read about any other topic!
I need light news right now, but I am vacillating between needing to know an desperately not wanting to know about current events. I don’t know if I will do the line-a-day journal but I feel like journaling would really help right now.
I bought the exact same journal after you mentioned it in your last post. As a teen I would journal every night, back in the 90s and I still have those. Then as a parent I have a few years of actual journalling but then I somehow just didn’t manage it anymore. But I like that this version is very manageable. So I just started it on a random day 2-3 weeks ago. My 13 year old son was bothered by the randomness of that and said I should have saved it for Jan 1st – and I guess I should have really, but whatever. I thought it would really only be one line a day, but there’s room for a few sentences. It’s pretty much just me writing what my teen kids did that day and who had a headache. But thanks for sharing it. It is a pretty book.
I’m with you: I think the glory of the structure is that it can be started on ANY day: just open it up and begin!
I’ve really appreciated your posts and readers’ comments the past two weeks. They’ve helped me so much because I’m stuck in a funk of despair/anger/sadness/confusion. I know I will continue to enjoy your posts going forward whether they are political or not. I love them all. I have all my typical grief symptoms firing–unable to focus or concentrate for very long, poor sleep, headache, and doing forgetful/silly stuff because my mind is somewhere not in the present moment. I need to incorporate better coping strategies because so far I’m just burning through our pile of gift cards to self-soothe. Well, and we went camping last weekend and seeing so many bright stars was comforting.
I’m almost done with year 1 of my third 5-year journal. My sister gave me my first one and I look forward to journalling with you. I’ve grown into the habit of filling in about a weeks-worth at a time because I’m usually too tired or forgetful to make it a daily habit. I love going back and reading what was top of mind and thinking–oh yes, I remember that particular day! What a silly concern!
This is exactly what I’m craving. Normal stuff but with the acknowledgment that things suck right now. I want to read about all of your topics but also read about how you are still sad and angry and frustrated.
That diary looks good. For a few years I got a datebook and wrote down 5 good things that happened per day. Sometimes I really reached for as good thing (maybe it was a good TV show) but I think I might go back to that.
I love your idea of journaling These Times. Just don’t beat yourself up if you miss days. That’s what I worry about with “page a day” or “line a day” things, that I’ll hold myself to an impossible goal. It’s fine, just do it when/if you think about it.
I’ve got to figure out what my balance is going to be, news-wise. We’ve been watching the nightly (national) news all this time. And I follow Sharon Says So, who does a good job summarizing all that. Maybe I need to cut one. I could put in AirPods during the news hour, and listen to music or light podcasts instead.
Oh, while we’re at it, lets put an anti-vaxxer in charge of Health! The insanity!
But yes, let’s discuss what to get for our impossible-to-buy-for-adult-children to take our minds off the impending madness.
I journaled through covid through Jan 6 at least. It’s pretty insane to look back on. I tracked death counts, among other things. I keep two journals these days. One for the grim stuff, one for sweet stories about my every day life.
I would like to second (or third or fourth) talking about politics and regular things. I don’t know anything about pelvic floor therapy but it sounds like something I should know about.
I don’t think I can start journaling again–I kept a diary in high school–but I did recently create an account on a forum I’ve been lurking on for years and that community is a good thing for me. I’ve decided that even baby steps count as movement and any movement is a good thing. Joining that community was and is good for my brain.
I’m on my fifth year of a daily journal like that, and it’s very interesting to look back and see what was on my mind, one and two and three and four years ago. It’s also a good exercise, at the end of the day, deciding what to write about. Sometimes it’s momentous, but I also want to put in small details of life, to remind myself of how things are and how they change.
I stared a five year journal, with space for a few sentences, when I turned 35 years old. I kept up with it for about two and half years. I had to stop because the previous entries were bumming me out and making me sad. My sister didn’t speak to me for about nine months and it caused so much havoc and heartache. I didn’t want to relieve those times every day. We have a great relationship now, thankfully.