At my last check-up I tried to get my doctor to let me get the shingles shot early: I know of several people who got shingles before they turned 50, and they all say it was the worst pain they’d ever had, worse than childbirth. My doctor declined, and said she didn’t even recommend it right at age 50: she says she recommends getting it later, more like age 60—something about needing it to last the rest of your life. Well. I was not pleased. I went off in a huff! By which I mean I nodded and demurred and made no fuss whatsoever.
But now I am 50, so I can walk into a pharmacy and get the shingles vaccine without my doctor’s permission and have my insurance cover it, and I have not yet done it. I seem to be…chicken. But it is because I have heard the shingles vaccine is one of the very worst! And, worst of all: that it is not the FIRST of the required two shots that is so bad, it’s the SECOND! But once you get the first, you have to follow through and get the second! This is psychologically MUCH WORSE than if the first one were the bad one. But an unpleasant vaccine reaction? to avoid the worst pain of my life? I don’t understand why I am hesitating. It’s not as if I would mind staying in bed for a day and then writing a complaining blog post about it.
Speaking of turning 50, one of my biggest stressors these days is JEANS. I have always been a PEAR: I have a relatively small waist, and I wear a smaller size in tops than in bottoms, and anything long or one-piece (long coats, one-piece swimsuits, dresses) is difficult because of the discrepancy; I carry my weight in my rear and thighs; and I have never, even as a rangy pre-teen, had a flat stomach. But my weight is redistributing, so that I am carrying BOTHERINGLY MORE in my stomach, and it is THROWING EVERYTHING OFF. I don’t even know what fruit shape this is. I tried going up a size (I have about four sizes in storage), but that didn’t work at all: they didn’t fit right AND were too big. If I find jeans that fit at all, they need a belt, and also they look terrible in a way that tempts me to commit the grave error of blaming the body instead of the jeans: if they’re stretchy enough to be comfortable, they’re stretchy enough to SHOWCASE the new tum area, which I will accept but I do not wish to show off. I think this must be why so many older women give up on jeans and start buying Alfred Dunner separates. But I will not go gentle into that good night! (Well, except I searched online for Alfred Dunner to make sure that was still a thing, and ended up thinking “Ooooo actually those are pretty cute!”)
I am having a long run of being unable to face the telephone. I managed to make the ENT appointment because it felt like a potentially dire emergency, and I managed to make some phone calls when Elizabeth’s ambulance claim for her tree-nut reaction was rejected; but I have not managed to make quite a few other phone calls for appointments that need to be made and are causing me trouble. My glasses, for example: speaking of turning 50, apparently now I desperately need BIFOCALS/TRIFOCALS. Sometimes I think in a chipper way that this is FINE! plenty of people get behind on appointments for reasons completely unrelated to phone phobia and it’s JUST FINE! Other times I feel some level of despair: I am FIFTY YEARS OLD, why can’t I do this NORMAL LIFE THING?
Life is overwhelming sometimes, for everyone. You are not alone. Everything you manage to get done counts! Drops IN the bucket!
FWIW I have no idea why people found the shingles vaccine painful. (I had many uneventful COVID vaccines and then one that knocked me out for a day, so it’s not that I never have reactions.) However, shingles is VERY VERY PAINFUL. SO PAINFUL. In case that helps anyone get over the hesitancy.
I have needed new glasses for over a year and I just couldn’t do it, even though I had the appt and got the new Rx. Why? No one will ever know. I finally upgraded this month and I’m so relieved and SHOCKER seeing better. Oh, self. 🤦♀️ I am 51 and…yep, don’t seem to be outgrowing this trait.
We are all human. I’ve got no advice for jeans. They are always torturous in one way or another.
I waited until I was 60 for the shingles shots. The first was nothing. the second was a day of the flu – probably not even 24 hours. and not the gross flu, the headachy, achy, exhausted flu. I had no idea it was a reaction until my friend asked me if I’d had the second shot. My husband and mother had zero reaction. I’ve also had a mild case of shingles, before the vaccination, I’d prefer the vaccination, thank you very much.
I wear Wit and Wisdom jeans on my 50 year old body and I find them the very most flattering. And it seems like I have tried all of the jeans, every single brand. They are extremely comfortable, too!
I second Wit and Wisdom. Also Democracy. I too am a pear with disturbing tummy weight redistribution as I near 50.
I turned 50 a couple months ago and relate to all of this so hard. I’ve been looking forward to turning 50 if for no other reason than that I could get the shingles vaccine and I just…haven’t. I mean, I’ve had lots going on but also I’m surprisingly apprehensive now that it’s here. And I broke my ankle in two places last month (tibia and fibula, because I’m an over! achiever!), which we are trying to let heal without surgery so I’m not really going places…but also I’ve had a mild case of shingles in the past and agree that that still hurt worse than this does, as long as I don’t try to stand, so I’m really not sure what my mental problem is with it other than the fact that my brain is just like “Nope. Done. We are doing zero things right now. Snacks and Netflix please”.
I had the “old” shingles vaccine when I was 50, 10 years ago, because Health Canada only allowed the Shingrix one for over 60s. And my husband has had shingles 12 times between his age 49 and now (62). I see from his reaction that it is not pleasant. He (with his typical understatement) says “it stings”.
He had the Zostavax shot age 53, and Shingrix the minute he turned 60.
I think Zostavax has been discontinued here. But I need to schedule a Shingrix shot for me now. It can wait until we’ve moved house (May).
If your jeans are too big at the waist, you can have them taken in at any dry cleaners that does alterations. It’s a super easy fix.
The shingles vaccine is definitely no fun. I was miserable with both doses. But, everyone I’ve ever talked to who has had shingles says it was the worst pain ever, so, I guess it’s worth the temporary misery.
I hadn’t ever heard of Alfred Dunner so had to look it up. Are all the pants pull on? I think the clothes are cute! I’m 39 and am decently into current style. But Alfred Dunner, I’ll be seeing you around baby!
Okay, I looked at the site more and maybe I got too excited with the embroidered pants. A lot of it isn’t for me. But I do get the appeal of being comfortable and getting some pops of jazz in there!
I had shingles in 2001. I only am able to remember that because my son was a senior in high school and got chicken pox from tutoring grade school kids for his mandatory volunteer gig to graduate. So I blamed him and he blamed me.😆It really was unbelievably painful. Like, don’t walk by me and cause any air movement to hit my skin. I still sometimes feel a prickly sting in the area and constantly check in the mirror to make sure it’s not back. I had both doses of Shingrix and had no issues. None of my friends did either. 🤷🏻♀️
I know people who have considered suicide, who thought about ENDING THEIR OWN LIVES, because the pain was so bad. Makes you think…
Oh, also happy (belated) birthday! I hope you had just the kind of celebration you liked best. 🍀
Happy 50th! I’m pear shaped with an increasingly rounder middle. In case you’re looking for some brands to try, I’ve found success with the Democracy brand Absolution pants. They have a stretchier waist but also have zipper and button.
Yes, I came here to recommend Democracy brand jeans! I also recommend a stretchy elastic belt like the ones people wore in the 80s to snug up the waist on a pair of jeans. I tuck in almost nothing and the elastic belts have flat buckles that don’t make a weird lump under your top. I also like Kut from the Kloth jeans, but the waists on the Democracy jeans are so comfortable.
I got the shingles vaccine a year or so ago and I don’t remember that much about it, which leads me to believe it was maybe a day of discomfort after the shot and nothing more.
Just sayin, I do not know a single person who has gotten the Shingles vaccine or shingles. “only about 30 percent of adults eligible for this vaccine have gotten it, according to a 2022 report by the Government Accountability Office”
And the CDC says it is most useful in people over 70. My point is, take getting this shot off your “this is making me crazy” list and tell yourself you have plenty of time.
Additional data point here: the shingles shot was D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y not more painful than childbirth. Not even on the same block. For me it was comparable to the COVID shot, both in administration and reaction. I did have shingles before I got it, though, and I am seeing in the comments that maybe that lessened the affront to the body?
(Also, I got shingles as a healthy mid-forty-year-old, and THAT SUCKED. Do not recommend.)
No, no: people were telling me that SHINGLES was more painful than childbirth. But also that the side effects from the shot were the worst side effects they’d ever had from a vaccine.
That makes much more sense! And the shot does have side effects, but for me they were in the “retreat to bed” type, which–well, I don’t totally mind being in bed, too sick to work.
I had shingles last month (at age 56), so it’s fresh in my mind. I wouldn’t say worse than childbirth, but it was pretty bad. The worst part of the rash was at the bottom of my ribcage and at one point I was trying to breathe shallowly because the rise and fall of my chest hurt.
I’ve been wondering when to get the vaccine. You can get shingles again, but I should have some natural immunity for at least several years and it seems I should take advantage of that. I guess I’ll ask at my next checkup.
I had two doses of the Shingrix vaccine a couple of years ago. The first was a little rough, but I blame the fact that I got the Covid bivalent booster AND a TDAP booster all at the same time. I felt flu-y, pretty tired, and had a mild fever for about a day. No issues with the second dose.
My shape had, up, to the last couple of years, been reliably apple and I could plan jeans accordingly. Now I’m carrying more weight in my belly too, and pants are also becoming more of a challenge. Tops were/are already a challenge because I’m disproportionately busty to my torso, but now pants too? ARGH!
I feel like as soon as I am able to retire, I should just pack it in, wear loose T-shirts and then emulate my elderly Dad by wearing suspenders to hold up my pants.
I am not afraid of much but I am AFRAID of shingles. I freaking RAN to get the vaccine at 50 (I’m about to turn 55) and I got the two dose vaccine.
I had heard that the second one could lead to bad reactions but I had none (yay)-
I had more of a reaction to the initial Covid vaccine.
This was me, exactly. I got the shingles vaccine the second I turned 50, no real reaction. The first Covid vaccine was way worse.
Same here!!
I am also terrified of shingles and RAN to get the vaccine as soon as I turned 50. (I am currently 53.) I found the shots were the most painful shots I’ve ever received but still tolerable and over quickly. I did have a reaction but it was less than I had to the Coved vaccines.
Happy Birthday Swistle!! Hope it was filled with hugs and laughter and presents. And chocolate!
I am 70. I had the old one-dose shingles shot and I’ve now had the two-dose Shingrix. I felt kinda crappy for a day (naptime!) but I’ve known people who had shingles and I RAN to the pharmacy to get the shot. One friend had it in her scalp and near her eyes. Another was really sick. Not worth the risk, IMHO.
Sending big sympathies on the phone calls. I’m dealing with two medical offices. Office B requires a referral from Office A. Office A swears they’ve sent it twice. Office B says no. Neither office lets me talk to a person when I call, so I leave a voice mail that is ignored. Really great patient care.
I had shingles at 28 yrs old (mild) and again in my early 60’s (again no big deal). Luckyb I suppose. I chose not to get the vaccine as I figure if my next repeat is in 40 yrs I’ll be gone. My husband had it a few yrs ago near his ear so chose to get the vaccine as if it recurs could go to the eye & cause big problems. I don’t recall the vaccine being much of a problem at all for him.
Fruit type: shift from Bartlett to Bosc pear? A more sophisticated pear, good for poaching in wine, if that makes you feel better?
(I hate jeans-shopping. May you find something good! And yes, consider tailoring, esp. if it would just be one or two seams to snick in…)
I have not had shingles or the vaccine. However, everyone I can think of who has had shingles has had it in their 30s or 40s. One friend was maybe exactly 30. Another friend is a couple of years older than I am and had it a few years ago (I’m 47) and then a friend of a friend young than me (just turned 40 I think.) just had it.
I don’t think I know anyone over 50 who has had it. Which makes me think the age guidance is about as good as all the rest of the public health guidance we have gotten lately. I’m cynical.
Also: you have done difficult things that needed doing and in true mom fashion, THEY WERE NOT DIRECTLY FOR YOU. So now that you need things you’re out of energy. I would suggest delegation but I also know that comes with planning and follow up and often having to do the damn thing yourself anyway and AAAHHHHHH. Want me to call for you? I can put off me things! Yet still feel I’m doing something.
How are your ears, btw?
One ear is still weird!! It still intermittently makes seashell noises, feels clogged, feels crackly, aches, etc. It looks like I am going to have to go back to the ENT for what she called “more invasive things.”
thanks for the update. I hope you get answers. dealing with healthcare is so frustrating.
“ It’s not as if I would mind staying in bed for a day and then writing a complaining blog post about it.”
Love that, and looking forward to the blog post, although hopefully you won’t have a reaction!
I am clasping you weeping with sympathy AND empathy. Even when I was smaller I always had a tummy, and now it bothers me quite a bit. I really only wear stretchy jeggings (I know, but my friend threw the to me to try on with other stuff and they were insanely comfortable) or jeans that are so big they nearly fall down, so I can’t wear them to work.
I have a prescription for the shingles vaccine but I keep not doing it. I think I’m less scared than just forgetful and procrastinate-y, but this is dumb, and thank-you for the reminder.
I desperately need a dentist appointment. Again, I just keep…not calling.
Off to Google Alfred Dunner separates now.
Hunh. I don’t think I’ve heard anything about the shingles (Shingrix) vaccine being bad (which clearly, from other commenters, means I’m not in the loop), and my hubby, mom, and I have all had it. So hopefully maybe it won’t be bad for you, Swistle? I got the first shot about 3 months after turning 50, which happened to be February 2020, and then waited … probably 3 years before getting the second (because of the pandemic, obviously). I was told (by my doctor and by my pharmacist) that this was no big deal, that the first shot gave some protection and getting the second increased it, and that the time elapsed between the 2 really didn’t matter. So hopefully that is accurate, but maybe you can go ahead and get the first one and have at least some protection?
A month or two (probably three, by now) I tried and failed to get the shingles shot(s) because I’ve seen the horror stories of getting shingles. I’ll try again and, if not successful, will definitely get it next time I’m at the doctor.
Jeans have been a mission for me lately. The problem is I’m short – much shorter than most manufacturer’s seem to think is possible. I think at this point, I’m just going to have to find a good tailor.
I’m with you on phone calls – no thank you. In this day and age, we should be able to handle anything online or via email.
I hadn’t even thought about shingles until I read this, so I looked it up and the vaccination is free here (NZ) for people aged 65 so that’s something to look forward to later this year. I would honestly not have even considered it until I read your post and some of these hair-raising comments. Thanks Swistle!
I never had chicken pox, and my titer showed that I had no antibodies at all, so I wondered if having been vaccinated meant I didn’t need the shingles vax. My PCP said I should get it. Everyone I know said everyone should get it, and the people who’d had shingles were especially vehement.
So I got it, a couple of years before my 60th birthday, and it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t just beyond terrible, either. My second dose of the COVID vax was way worse.
Also, I cannot seem to find my annual physical or my annual gyn exam on my calendar. Have I called either office to see if they know when I’m supposed to go? I have not. I am in the throes of dealing with other people’s health crises, and I just don’t have the energy for that. I have a dentist appointment, and that should be enough to sate the Maturity Gods, I hope.
First of all, I have zero idea when you turned 50, but as it would obviously be within the last year, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Regarding jeans and the weight redistribution that we all see at this age – yes. Why has no one figured this out in the jean design industry? Why has no one figured “oh, this is what happens to women, let’s make jeans to address this particular totally normal body type?”
Regarding shingles, I have a girlfriend who got it on her face and near her eye and she was close to losing sight because of it. My husband has had not only the double shingles vaccine, but years ago he had the less-effective single vaccine. He was sick from it but it was a super short lived sickness, much less worse than the Covid vaccine, in my opinion. The side effects were intense but super short lived.
Right? Jeans designers could make a fortune designing jeans for women of a certain age who are about to just give up on jeans entirely. We’re a large market, I swear! Just do it jeans designers!!
Happy belated birthday! I turn 50 later this year, and my best friend (same age) developed shingles a couple years ago. She is still dealing with pain if she doesn’t take a certain med (maybe gabapentin? not sure). I’m eagerly waiting to be able to get my shingles vaccine because her experience has been so awful. I’m anticipating some reaction, because I keep having weird reactions to the Covid vaccine/boosters, but who knows. My husband got both doses already and felt a little yucky after the first one but felt fine after the second. If I was procrastinating on something like this (which I totally understand), I would make an appointment online. I am pretty sure CVS, Wal-m*rt, and Walgreens all have vaccine appointment scheduling online. Then it would be on my calendar, and I’d have to do it.
I’m turning 50 soon! Your post made me think, ack, I should look at the shingles vaccine as well. I would love to use that initial ack to make myself do it – I usually do things like this IMMEDIATELY or NOT FOR MONTHS.
Except apparently it costs $290 at our local place, which is just a smidge out of my budget. I’ll try a couple other places, but otherwise I’m thinking I may have to wait till I’m 65 and can get it for free.
I’ve always been an apple, and many years ago I fell to the siren call of elastic waists for everything. I don’t wear jeans. Which is not me saying smugly, “hey you should be like me”, it’s me saying sympathetically, “there are times when things are harder for me and times when things are easier for me, and I know I’m lucky not to be trying to deal with what you’re dealing with, lots of people love jeans and have every right to”.
Wow, that sure was an essay – uh, the short version is “that sucks, good luck”.
I was struggling to adapt out of jeggings post baby body and post jeggings being fashionable. I booked a free personal styling appointment at a uk department store and it was PERFECT. I am normally an online shopper and I hate buying trousers because what do the sizes even mean?! But this was two hours in a fancy changing room with nice fizzy water and a lovely stylist who looked at my bod and bought me armfuls of jeans and then we tried them on and she’d go get different styles and sizes and try them on. It took all the hassle out of that type of shopping and I left with a pair of jeans I love. I must have tried on 30 pairs and it was so helpful. Strong recommend. Seems like some US stores offer this service – I bet it would make a good blog post too! https://www.retailmenot.com/blog/stores-that-offer-personal-shopping-services.html
(I still have to wear an elastic belt with them so maybe buy one of those first and take to the appointment)
What about getting the first shingles dose now and the second at 60? Both delays the one you’re scared of and extends the protection.
I buy Denizen by Levis jeans at Target and I really like them. I like them as much as I like any jeans these days. At my school this month leading up to spring break, we have theme days and we can wear jeans with them every day and I had to buy another pair, I am wearing mine so often!
I had shingles when I was like 49, I remember I had it the weekend of my youngest’s sixth birthday party ugggghhh the irony! And old lady disease and still having little kid birthday parties! It was pretty bad but I had the flu the year before and THAT was pretty bad too! My husband (who takes verrrry good care of himself has gotten the Shingles vaccine and he too thought the second one was worse than the first but he just got it at night and could basically come home and go to bed. I did that with all the COVID vaccines I’ve gotten and it really works the best for us. I know plenty of people who have had the vaccine and been JUST FINE, so maybe that would be what happens too! I just turned 56 and I haven’t gotten it yet, but tomorrow I am seeing a new doctor and I’m hopeful to Get On Track for things like this. I’m so bad about making appointments for things like this, I feel you deeply on that one.
I had intense fatigue reaction from *both* shingles vaccine doses (a few years back–and I got a COVID booster on the month between the 2 shingles appointments), but I’m so glad I got them. Hope that doesn’t scare you off. For me, it’s helpful to know what I’m getting into and set aside time to lounge and moan.
Hope you had a lovely birthday!
I got the shingles shot(s) as soon as I could because a co-worker, a cousin, and my stepdad had all gotten shingles and it was AWFUL. I don’t even remember if I had a reaction to either of the shots, because I was so glad I wasn’t going to get shingles.
The pneumonia shot was memorable. The first COVID shot was also memorable (I had the elevated heartrate side effect), but SO WORTH IT.
Re: jeans. I’m 4’11” and my weight fluctuates a lot, so I’ve given up on jeans entirely and now almost exclusively wear cotton Eshakti sleeveless dresses (over long sleeve shirts and leggings in the winter, all by themselves in the summer) because they have super deep pockets and they don’t show what’s going on in the tummy/butt/hips/thighs department. I prefer when no-one can tell my weight has fluctuated so I don’t have to answer questions about it.
Re: glasses. I get mine from Costco. I make a future appointment while I’m there shopping, and then I don’t have to call anyone. Also, I have two sets of glasses and both are bifocal. One set is computer/reading, and the other is distance/reading. My sunglasses are distance/reading. And because Costco is CHEAP, I have a back-up pair of the computer/reading glasses. All 4 pairs were cheaper than one pair at my old place.
And happy belated birthday!
I just had a sore arm from my recent Shingles shot. I had Shingles a couple of years ago…..it’s not nice. Get the shot.
I turned 50 during the COVID shutdown so did not get the shingles shot right away. However as soon as the whole COVID shut down thing eased my doctor’s office began absolutely haranguing me to get the shot. Emails, texts, phone calls, it was the full court press. So I got the shingles shot when I was 52. It wasn’t very painful BUT since I got it in early October my doc was like as long as you’re here let’s do a flu shot too and I was like . . . that seems like it might be a lot? No no let’s just do it. Well, the only advice I’ll give about getting the shingles shot is don’t get it at the same time as a flu shot. It was, as I’d feared, a lot. The second singles shot, which I got all by itself, was by comparison no big deal.
I got the first shingles shot when I was 62. My arm was VERY sore for a couple days. It hurt so much that I tried to hold it still when walking. The second shot was approximately six months later, and was even worse! Severe stomach pain and diarrhea. If I had know it was going to be so bad, I’m not sure I would have even gotten them.
If a piece of anecdotal evidence helps you, I got the Shingrix vaccine within 3 days of turning 50 and I did not find the vaccine to be terrible. I had some localized tenderness as is often the case and that was about it (similar to the sore arm I get with a flu shot, or maybe a bit more sore). It didn’t horribly impact my life, I think I winced a little when I rolled over in bed for a couple of days, and then it was fine. I think my COVID vaccines were worse. So don’t be too frightened – it doesn’t have to be horrible. Shingles on the other hand…I’ve heard that is definitely horrible.
Judy Blue jeans for the win. So stretchy!!
This is way late, but I wanted to give you my Shingrix experience: First shot in January no problem. Second shot in April no fun at all. The next day I ached in every joint, and the joints that are customarily wonky were actively painful. The arm I broke last year felt re-broken. It was all bearable under a blanket with hot tea and a good book. And the next day I knew I wouldn’t get shingles, which are (per my friends) truly for months. Get the shots!