I impulse(/gin)-ordered Rob a tiny real tree yesterday evening:
(image from Amazon.com)
You know, I have TRIED to scale back on Amazon, for philosophical reasons, and I have succeeded to some extent. But when I look up my options for sending someone a tiny live tree, and I get results that include a $120-plus-shipping option, a $75-plus-delivery option, a $150-plus-shipping option, and a $24-with-free-shipping option, I am going to use Amazon, because the other three options mean I am not going to impulse-order my far-away child a small live Christmas tree, and I DO want to order him a small live Christmas tree.
One thing I am pretty sure I have discussed with Rob, but I need to make a point of discussing it again, is the concept of re-gifting. You may remember Rob is the one who doesn’t want anything, though he does understand me when I explain that I cannot give him literally nothing for Christmas. But I think it really, really helps, when receiving gifts one doesn’t want, to remember that one person’s oppressive unwanted gift is another person’s delightful holiday surprise. If Rob doesn’t want the little tree, and feels oppressed by it, then he could give it to his landlord, or he could leave it anonymously outside a neighbor’s door with a little note, or he could drop it off at his library, or he could give it to his bike-repair shop; he could give it to the friend he had a picnic with, which is all he told us and he wouldn’t tell us anything else about either the friend or the picnic; he could drop it off at a local charity or business. Giving away the gift could end up being the fun part of the gift for him, and I want to make sure he knows about that.
Along similar lines, one of my only gift suggestions he responded positively to was the idea of a stack of $5 bills for him to hand out when he sees someone asking. I might expand that into a gift of $5 bills, soft breakfast bars, hand/toe warmers, and ziploc baggies, so that he can make little bags to hand out. (Or he can choose to hand out just the bills, and donate/use the other things.)
We are also giving him money for him to donate to his favorite charity. I wanted to make the donation myself, in his name, but then he doesn’t get the tax credit, and also it means we’re the ones who get all the emails begging for more money, so I send him the money and he makes the donation.
Last year we got him symphony tickets (he likes classical music), which I’d hoped would be so successful we could just do it again year after year, a ticket to one concert for Christmas and a ticket to another concert for his birthday, done and done!—but no. He liked trying it, but doesn’t have any particular interest in going again.
He has turned down experience gifts. He has turned down gift cards to local restaurants, furniture stores, clothing stores, online stores, the bike/repair store, various services. He has turned down computer equipment and exercise/sports equipment. He has turned down wall art (except for a large city-map poster, which we gave him last year), subscription boxes of all kinds, upgrades to things he has (such as a better frying pan or a better pillow), a compact printer, a personal blender, a savings bond, a suitcase (he has the GIANT ones he moved with, but I thought he might want a smaller more practical size for normal trips—and it could fit inside one of the big suitcases), the new Zelda game, replacements of favorite-but-now-ratty t-shirts. If you are thinking you have an idea, you might as well say it because WHO KNOWS?—but the most likely thing is that he already turned it down and I just didn’t want to make this paragraph any longer.
I am getting him a pair of sturdy but comfortable casual work pants: apparently he was a bit stuck when his company wanted him to appear in person for a (casual) work conference. Paul got him a bicycle basket (Rob doesn’t have a car, and he rides his bike everywhere) that snaps easily on and off the front of the bike to turn into a handled shopping basket. I am sending the usual practical stocking stuffers: new underwear, new socks, new toothbrush, new razors; but with much much less candy than I’m giving his siblings, because he has mentioned not wanting much candy. I’ll send him the usual filled plastic candy cane; the overpriced cylinder of mini M&Ms that accidentally turned out to be a CRUCIALLY IMPORTANT part of stockings for the kids; a few chocolate coins; maybe some small special/expensive chocolate thing. I’m sending a wee can of cranberry sauce I was charmed by at the grocery store. I’m sending one of those teensy metal-wire strings of teensy LED lights for his live tree, maybe a few teensy ornaments too but Paul said “He won’t want to have to store those.” And I’m sending him new flannel pajama pants, because he said that’s mostly what he wears day in and day out now (he works remotely). None of this sounds good to me. I am trying not to worry.
I have no suggestions, except maybe to add things like batteries and charging cables to the stocking stuffers if those are things he uses. Maybe a reflective biking vest?
Recipient resistance is very fusterating.
This was an idea from my own family: wrap up cash in different amounts. One box has $2.37 in it; another box has $54.23; another has $107.42; so on and so on. It’s also fund if you wrap up the amounts of the gifts you were going to buy him but didn’t
You mentioned the symphony, but would the theatre be a possibility? If he were gifted a pair of tickets that makes it either a regifting opportunity, or a chance to take a picnic friend.
Maybe a wool t-shirt? They are sustainable and because it’s wool, it doesn’t need to be washed as often as other clothing. Less laundry= better for the environment. Which seems like something he might appreciate. Excellent for layering. He could wear it year-round. They are cool and comfortable in summer and keep you warm in winter. It’s magic, really. This is what I am buying my difficult to buy for sons. Try Wool&Prince. They are in the US and you can probably have it sent right to his address if you wanted to. The only other idea I have is to pay for one of his bills, like electric or something. I would say an oil change&car wash or insurance for the year, but that doesn’t work in this case. Good luck! It’s so frustrating
Yes! I was thinking utility bills too!
Could be an option, but I have to admit that I would not have gone along with my mom having that be her gift plan during my most NO phase. Mostly because I didn’t want her having insight into and opinions on the costs of things. She didn’t live in a big city and never had– she about drove me crazy when she came to visit once and insisted on visiting 3 grocery stores, commenting the entire time on how [insert everything] was cheaper at home.
I love the wool t-shirt idea! I am SUCH a fan of them for myself — it’s not exaggerating to say they are magical at keeping you comfortable in almost any conditions, especially cool damp conditions, ie, the prevailing weather in the Pacific Northwest. They also have an excellent sustainability story that might appeal to an idealistic young man.
Okay, I do love that the only gift he’s enthused about is a stack of $5 bills to give to people in need. That’s such a nice idea.
Would he want a bike lock? I mean, I assume he already has one—but like, a better one than he already has? Or a small bike trailer for if he ever needs to carry a lot of stuff on his bike? I admittedly don’t know much about bikes so maybe these are bad ideas (or at least not Rob-approved ideas).
If he lives in a cold climate, maybe he’d want some warmer around-the house clothes? I guess you’ve already covered that with the pajama pants, but maybe some sweaters or hoodies or extra-cozy socks? Last year a relative gave me a very plain sweater that I felt meh about at first, but I’ve been wearing it constantly. Right now, even.
What about a gift card for something he has to spend money on anyway, like groceries? It seems like a bit of a boring gift, but I guess if he doesn’t want anything else, a gift card is at least slightly more festive than cash?
A picnic basket full of picnic supplies, with the hope that it will inspire him to tell you more about his mysterious picnic friend? (Just kidding.)
Another thought: does he like to read? And if so, would he want a Kindle or other e-reader? I’m hesitant to suggest it because it’s A Physical Object and it sounds like he doesn’t want more of those, but it might lead to fewer possessions in the long run since it would mean that he wouldn’t have to have as many books.
This one might be too late to do this year, but I know you mentioned participating in a Christmas-supplementation program awhile back—would Rob be interested in choosing gifts for one of those families? He could pick the family and the gifts, and then you could buy/wrap/deliver them. (Or send a box of wrapped gifts in the mail for Rob to deliver, if he’d rather go with an organization that’s local to him.) I don’t know, maybe he’d dislike the process of choosing gifts for strangers as much as he dislikes choosing gifts for himself—but like you said, maybe he’d enjoy giving things away more than he likes receiving things.
Okay, I just thought of one more: would he want a Patreon subscription of some sort? I know you said he likes classical music, but are there any contemporary composers he likes that might be on Patreon? Or musicians? YouTubers? Podcasters? Most subscriptions come with some sort of subscriber-exclusive content, if he’s interested in that – but even if not, maybe he’d enjoy giving some money to a small creator he likes.
Could wrapped candy/cookies double as tiny tree ornaments? Then he can display them on the tree and then store them IN HIS BELLEH.
REI is popular in the Seattle area, but also pricey. They have bike stuff and outdoorsy equipment and do hiking/kayak/snowshoe tours if that might be his thing.
If he enjoys interesting fruit, I’ve had good luck buying boxes on Etsy that have a mix of tropical fruits (so not a subscription box, more a one time thing).
I think encouraging him to get comfortable regifting is also an excellent life skill!
REI is currently very anti-union, and it sounds as though Rob might not be down with that? But I like the idea of bike stuff — maybe there’s a local bike store near him that offers gift certificates?
Or yeah, REI if Rob doesn’t care
So your son is basically a Buddhist monk, lives lightly on the earth and gives money to the needy. Which is freaking awesome for so many things but terrible for gift giving! I will not try to think of suggestions – my son is much less a reluctant recipient and I still have trouble thinking of what to give him. I used to buy new pajama pants every year but now he just wears sweats to bed! (this sounds like I’m competing, but I’m not).
Fully agree about Amazon as well – I try other ways first, but often end up defaulting back to it.
I almost wish I disagreed with something so my comment would be less dull.
Is there any chance you have access to Rob’s Venmo account? I snooped on my oldest’s account to see what he was buying/reimbursing people for so I could buy him gift cards to those places. No, it’s not exciting, but I respect a guy who doesn’t want a lot of stuff. And my kid is in a field that does not pay well, so if I can help him go for tacos with his friends, I’m happy about that.
Is there a point when Rob will say more about the person he picnicked with?
https://www.fromyouflowers.com/products/merry-christmas-festive-mini-tree.htm
Your little tree inspired me and now I want to send this to someone. But there is no one to send it to.
I really want the details of Rob’s picnic now. Poor Rob. All these internet people who have “known” him since he was like 10 are so invested in his gifts and picnics. (Actually, he’s quite lovely)
I like the idea of Bee to wrap up the dollars you would have spent on items for him. Maybe if you put a picture of the item you would have bought on the outside of the box, he’ll think oh gawd. No. Whyyy. And then be that much more excited when he opens it to find money instead.
To add on to MelissaH regarding tickets – ballet, favorite band, magician, stand-up comedian, sporting event?
Also like Loras idea of paying a bill for him.
Does he keep the bike inside his apartment? If yes, does he have a bike rack? Those are nice but pricey.
Reflective gear for night riding? This is more important than I think a lot of young people realize.
I also don’t like receiving gifts. I am totally charmed by the thought of having a basket of money and goodies that I could give away to others. In my case, I would keep them in my car.
I wonder if he might like it if you help him adopt a family for Christmas. If he finds someone local to him, you can help him shop for specific items, send them to his address, and then he can wrap them and deliver.
There’s one other thing my husband did for me before, which I loved. He collected personalized recommendations from different people we know of restaurants and wrote each one in a sealed envelope and put them in a jar. Then if we wanted to go out to eat sometime, we would pull out an envelope and have an idea of a place to go. I imagine you could do something similar with book recommendations that he could then get from the library, or movies to rent.
Last idea: cold weather handlebar mitts for biking. My brother uses these for his commute to work in the winter in Boston.
Hmmm. I am guessing Rob mostly has his bike set up as he wants it, but I bike a fair amount and very much like having a mirror on my handlebar and a loud-but-not-too-obnoxious (at least for one setting, i.e., noise level, a couple of obnoxious alternatives can be useful also) horn, ditto, if those are things he might be interested in adding.
Also, I have read that when biking at night one of the best ways to make yourself visible to (meaning, actually get noticed by) others is to wear light-up bands on your legs, because the motion your legs make when you bike looks out of place relative to other alternatives (which can just look like stationary reflectors or lights on the side of the road, especially if you are going slowly). So I now try to remember to slap a couple of bands on my legs. These (and yes, I grabbed the link from, sigh, Amazon) are nicer than the ones I have — https://www.amazon.com/Rechargeable-Armband-Refective-Running-Joggers/dp/B0B6BW1D73/ref=sr_1_3?crid=8JQM0DF6P0GG&keywords=led%2Bbiking%2Bleg&qid=1701219250&sprefix=led%2Bbiking%2Bleg%2Caps%2C100&sr=8-3&th=1 . Mine just “slap on” (no fastener, just coil around the leg) and — ask me how I know — can therefore sometimes slap themselves off without my noticing, but if/when I buy more, I’ll get some like these that actually strap on with velcro.
And … yeah. I would like not to use Amazon, but it’s not just the free shipping, it’s the absurdly simple returns. I just wish they were less evil. But I also know my business or lack thereof does not impact them in any way.
he could give it to the friend he had a picnic with, which is all he told us and he wouldn’t tell us anything else about either the friend or the picnic; >>
This reminded me of my son. He’s not so hard to buy for but it’s impossible to get any details about anything out of him.
This! How do I let it go ? daily? This afflicts me .. I need therapy for this particular thing.
Gift card to a book store local to him? Gift card to a grocery or liquor store near him? Pens? Phone charger?
Does he read ebooks? I just saw that Humble Bundle is offering a package of John Scalzi’s ebooks (science fiction like Redshirts, Head On, Old Man’s War, Kaiju Preservation Society) as a pay-what-you-choose that goes to charity. The physical wrapped gift could be a small gift box containing printed images of the covers and instructions for the downloads. If he doesn’t read them, well, charity wins anyway.
Does he like logic puzzles and origami? I loved Foldology and just discovered they released Foldology 2 and 3. (I bought from Amazon, sigh.)
Would he want to go to a book talk? Here’s a link to a free talk at Third Place Books at their Ravenna location. You could RSVP for him, and send the confirmation along with a gift card for the price of the book. (They have plenty of other authors to choose from, I just clicked on this one because it sounded like fun.)
https://www.thirdplacebooks.com/event/shahnaz-habib-sonora-jha
How about some emergency supplies? Plug in flashlights/nightlights, first aid kit, fire extinguisher or one of those blankets that works better, space blanket, etc?
If he doesn’t have him for his bike already, panniers. He may say he doesn’t need them, but they’re so much nicer than biking with a backpack.
Another thing is food. Nice jelly and nice pasta and nice coffee and nice fruit. Best case scenario they’re a fun treat, worst case scenario they’re groceries he won’t have to buy himself.
One thing we do each year that we get so much joy from is giving coats to elementary kids who don’t have warm coats (we do this through a local school). It really is great being able to give something tangible and helpful to someone who needs it. Would he appreciate you doing something like that on his behalf?
What about “lifetime” versions that of things he has , like Darn Tough socks or cast iron. Great quality items that last (yet I was able unwilling / unable to spend extra for them at his age))?
Last year my sister donated to a Black Mamas bail out fund in my name for Christmas and I’ve never felt so seen, like she knew my values and appreciated them. This is a really nice idea for someone who doesn’t want material things.
Fund a Roth IRA.
The money can be withdrawn tax free at retirement or for a down payment on a house. Even a small amount invested now will be worth a considerable amount later due to the magic of compound interest. Just the act of setting it up is a gift honestly. Personally I’d use a low cost investment firm like Vanguard and choose the S&P 500 fund. He can add to it later, so can you.
This is my go to college graduation gift for nieces and nephews.
I love the Roth IRA idea. And this is a place that’s kind of fun, my kids enjoy going there sometimes and it makes a good date because there’s lots to do and talk about. https://www.mopop.org/
If he doesn’t have a car, we use Orca cards on the trains and busses and ferries. Maybe get him one, or add to the balance if he already has one?
The BatteryDaddy organizes and tests batteries
This cocktail social club, which includes the ingredients to make the cocktail and connects you with cool people: https://fiascobk.com/pages/ar-social-club
A custom book subscription from a bookshop in Bath, UK with your own personal book therapist choosing books for you: https://mrbsemporium.com/gifts/reading-subscriptions/#buy
Criterion Collection to be able to stream tons of movies
Does he want more news subscriptions? I have NYT (with NYT Cooking) but I often wish for Vox, The Atlantic, Slate, Washington Post, New Yorker, and so many more. Also Substack, honestly I could spend $30/mo on Substack in an instant.
I don’t have any ideas myself, but think the idea of adopting a family or donating to a toy/food/coat drive for him an excellent way to fulfill his wishes and your own love of gift-giving. I personally love buying for toy drives and food drives. *whispers* I sometimes enjoy it more than gift shopping for my family.
Are there any gifts that would help him with things he already does? For example, during remote work these things were handy for my husband and for me. (1) a good, comfortable headset for Zoom/Team video calls, 2) an external monitor, (3) a comfortable desk chair, (4) a laptop stand to raise the height of my laptop’s camera for Zoom calls, (5) one set of business casual clothes or at least a nice shirt for video calls with the boss, (6) a mouse and keyboard that work well. This would work best if Rob can tell you about his current work-from-home setup so you know if he already has this stuff.
You could also go to a local bike store and ask what would help someone who cycles everywhere. Some ideas are a set of portable tools to repair a flat or grease for the bike chain, in addition to the good ideas above about a pannier, a mirror, and reflective gear for visibility.
I LOVE THIS.
I remember a while back you talking about how Rob never wants gifts, ever, and the thought of you sending a stack of fives along with other little things for the people who need them…well, Swistle, that was just beautiful. What a perfect gift for him, and something for you as well. Ahhhhh my heart is exploding.
I just wanted to say that the gifts you are already sending sound perfect and totally fine and enough to me! I think you shouldn’t do the Christmas ornaments.
I love that Rob likes the handing-people-money gift and find that so lovely! You’ve raised a lovely man!
I hope you can (just rephrasing this to hopefully make it more acceptable to your mind) give him the gift of respecting his wish to only a get a few gifts. Or maybe you can gift him your time by doing a chore for him he doesn’t like to do (I’’m thinking of things like buying gifts for family members). And I think if he likes to give (donate money/things) enabling him to give is such a beautiful gift to him.
I think a monetary gift with a short expression of love is probably the way to go here. As he gets older, the gift may actually be not giving a gift. My husband is Rob. He is not so minimalist, but he would rather buy exactly what he wants than figure out what to do with a gift. He’s also hands down the highest income earner in our family, so monetary gifts make no sense. I finally told my family “unless you notice something you want to give him, the best gift really and truly is no gift.” It was really hard for us to stop wrapping something for him, but that was about us. We communicated that the gift was not buying a gift and he was so happy. Christmas is much more fun for him now. If I notice something that’s bothering him (and needs an upgrade, etc) or an errand he hasn’t felt like dealing with, I do that for Christmas. But, plenty of years his gift is leaving him be. I know you have said you can’t literally give him nothing, but at some point that becomes about you, not him.
How about offering to reimburse his airfare to come visit you? Or up to the amount you were planning to spend on other gifts? This could be a recurring gift in the future.
Or, would he like a digital or physical photo album with pictures of him growing up? This would take a lot of time on your part though.
The gifts you are already planning to give him sound like plenty to me. I don’t think he’d want to be burdened with regifting a lot of stuff.
Another charitable gift idea I didn’t see mentioned already is sponsoring shelter animals’ adoptions. Where I live the adoption fee is like $25-to-$50 at the county shelter. You probably won’t see this option on their websites, but if you either call and ask, or visit in person and say it’s something you want to do, they’ll probably be happy to allow you to do so. Ask about the animal(s) who have been there the longest, are older, etc, get a picture of them (either in person or online) and send it to Rob with a note. Personally, I’d love that.
(Some people get concerned that animals adopted for free via sponsorship or during special events won’t go to as good of homes, but according to my shelter the research on that shows no difference.)
Ooh- would Rob want/could he have (depending on his living situation) a cat/dog/etc. of his own? You could offer to pay for him to adopt one from a local animal shelter and buy a litter box, pet dishes, cat tree, leashes, etc. to get him started as a pet owner.
Wow! Where I live it is literally over $500 CAD to adopt a puppy or small dog from the local shelter!
Sometimes a gift from a parent can feel cloying, but a gift from a sibling is charming and touching. Would one of the siblings who has a good relationship with him be your ally and a) find out something he might need/want, then b) gift it to him, from them (even though you are the one paying for and providing the gift, just not getting the credit.)
I think if you love gift-giving, you will also love regifting, but if you don’t like gifts, regifting could just feel like a chore. I love gifts and giving and spending money so, SO much, and it’s hard for me to put myself in the shoes of someone who doesn’t. But if someone sent me a box with 47 spiders and told me the REAL JOY would be finding new homes for them, I would DEFINITELY prefer to not get the box at all, even though it WOULD feel good to get rid of the spiders eventually, and I try to keep that in mind when I’m tempted to send something to someone who has expressed a clear preference not get presents.
No, no—I don’t mean I would deliberately give him gifts I knew he wouldn’t want, for him to give away as a treat. I mean, I want to make sure he knows that if I make a mistake with a gift I thought would please him (i.e., something I mistakenly thought was included in his stated category of willingness to receive), and I accidentally get him something he is oppressed by, his choices aren’t “suffer and keep it,” or else “throw it away and waste it.” I want to make sure he knows “giving it to someone else” is an option—because I think it’s possible that’s literally something he wouldn’t think of. And then I thought, it’s possible he would even find he enjoyed that.
I love the discussion here and all the thought put into giving Rob something he truly would enjoy. Money to give to those in need is a great idea! For me, I’m at the point of having teenagers in my life who are very specific in their wants, and are also not great about expressing them/would rather buy things for themselves. While it feels less personal to send money/gift cards, I think the process goes smoother and everyone is happier with cash. This year I’m preoccupied with with to give my 85 year old Dad. He doesn’t need much and is trying to downsize his possessions. Since he doesn’t cook, I’m thinking of a trial meal service that would deliver food to him.
I like the idea above of wrapping up different amounts of money in different boxes — and to expand on that, another possibility is to include in each box a picture of a gift you might otherwise have bought him with that amount of money. Example: box with $19.99, and picture of “book-on-topic-you-like that I would have given you if you Wanted Stuff.” For those of us who feel weird giving “just” cash, this could be a way to show the recipient that we did put thought into what they would like (without burdening them with Stuff). Or you could have fun with it — box with $15.47, and picture of cat-shaped toilet plunger. Box with $33.21, and picture of creepy antique store doll. Box with $49.89, and picture of beekeeper outfit. Etc.
I think this all sounds absolutely lovely, Swistle, you’re such a cute and fun mum.
For me it’s tricky to suggest new things as I am someone Rob’s age yet want MANY THINGS ALL THE TIME so I can’t really relate to rejecting all the things he’s rejected. I’d probably love all of them and more. I’ll have a quick think anyway…
– A large dish-washer-safe mug
– Sturdy, non-slip house slippers
– Thinkey riddley puzzles (I myself have a riddle-based advent calendar this year!)
– one of those Belkin very strong, not-tearable phone chargers
– a good quality bluetooth speaker
Best wishes, Swistle!
I love that he is so generous and lives lightly.
If he has a favourite podcast, a nice gift is to buy him access to the ‘premium version’ – some popular ones have extra episodes, ad-free listening, discussion groups, newsletters etc…
I’m not sure if he is in Seattle or somewhere similar? They have a CityPass to the top 5 attractions…something like that to further discover his still newish home? I know he doesn’t want an experience gift but maybe he could do this with the person with whom he picnics??
Good luck!! If all else fails, the stack of $5 thing is awesome.
My mom gets me a goat from Heifer International every year. I’ve always liked that. Feels more tangible than a standard charity donation.
If you do get tiny ornaments for his tiny tree, maybe try to package them together with the tiny string of lights so that he has one small container to store until it is time to decorate again next year.
Consumable stuff is what I like to get people who just don’t want Stuff. A nice pen that is pleasing to write with because even though all my work is done on a computer, I still write notes and lists. Chapstick. Good sunblock because if he is biking everywhere, he should be wearing sunblock as well.
My 17-year old also usually can’t think of anything he wants, says no to most things, and doesn’t use the few things we’re able to think of and cobble together. He may not be quite so minimalistic as Rob, but he’s on the same wavelength. His own motivations are often from a conservationist approach, which makes the next sentence so strange since it is very much an example of conspicuous consumption. My mother had a custom bobblehead made OF MY SON’S FACE and HAIR and SCOUT UNIFORM and he said it’s the best gift he’s ever gotten. We all squealed with delight passing it around. I think it was from bobbleheads dot com which has an order deadline of tomorrow.
My own best gift I ever got was a Tile (or Apple Airtag if you’re fancy) for the wallet I often spent several minutes searching for and it has changed my life and the life of my loved ones getting yelled at far less now.
Grocery delivery service subscription? Since he rides a bike.
As a Seattleite who is becoming gift resistant myself and is noticing how many more homeless folks live out here these days, I think it is so delightful he wants to hand out $5 or other things to folks who ask and I support this 100%. Lately it is cold and wet here so hats, gloves, socks, and blankets are much appreciated as well.
Megan mentioned a good bluetooth speaker and I am giving that very thing to my people who don’t want a lot of stuff but who love music/podcasts/movies, etc. I have a tiny bose speaker in the kitchen with amazing sound that pairs automatically with my phone now and it has entirely changed my experience of cooking, cleaning, etc. I think my people would never think of this kind of thing but I hope they will really enjoy it once they have it. Love all of these ideas, including the no gift ideas.