• Put up and decorate the Christmas tree, maybe even if you’re a die-hard “NOT UNTIL DECEMBER!!” person—because the college kid(s) won’t be back until mid-December, and that might be kind of late by even a die-hard’s standards.
• Have them make a list of the holiday movies/shows they want you to wait to watch until they’re home for Christmas break, so that you can watch the other ones on the nights between now and then. Before they go back, have them pick one they want to watch to kick off the season. Get weepy about it.
• Annual flu/Covid shots. Or maybe your kids will manage to take advantage of the much more convenient campus clinics! My kids so far have not managed that, despite subtle coaching. And, one time, in one case, I tried to manage it for them, and all the appointments were full 15 minutes after the email went out, so perhaps it is not all that convenient after all.
• Woo them with a sentimental meal, in addition to all the scheduled Thanksgiving-food wooing.
• Maybe also a sentimental cookie/bar/cake/pie. Or maybe there is already too much leftover dessert in the house.
• Take a family photo for the Christmas card, if you send out cards.
• Do they need deodorant? shampoo? conditioner? granola bars? Kraft Easy Mac? It is cheaper to buy it here than on campus! THOSE SHYSTERS
• Winter coats? winter boots? gloves? hat? scarf? WHAT HAVE THEY FORGOTTEN? MUST PROTECT BABY FROM FROSTBITE!!
• Send them back with advent/countdown calendars, if applicable! We don’t usually buy the chocolate countdown calendars for the household, but I DO buy them for college kids.
• Send them back with Christmas lights for their dorm rooms, if applicable! Maybe some snowflake lights, if you don’t do Christmas lights!
I sent my nephew back with a holiday gnome throw ($4.99! So soft! So festive for the dorm!) and vitamin c drink packets, zinc-elderberry lozenges, tea, trail mix, Hershey’s kisses, hand sanitizer & some other snacks. He told us he’d been sick on and off all fall and I figured what he doesn’t need now will be helpful in January too.
Excellent list. We did almost all those things when our eldest was in college and probably will when the youngest is. Not the tree, though, because we travel for Christmas and don’t decorate ours until we arrive a day or two before Christmas. (It’s not optimal because we have to take it down a few days later, but it’s better than decorating it at home, leaving it behind and not having it ON Christmas.)
Question – how do you manage food for such a large crowd? That’s the ongoing issue in our family – it wears my mom out to do all the planning, shopping, and cooking, but we can’t seem to find an alternative.
A couple suggestions:
This year my MIL was traveling internationally and didn’t get home until the day before Thanksgiving. We knew she’d be tired, so we ordered ham and turkey from Honey Baked Ham, and my brother-in-law, husband and I handled the sides. MIL made a pie.
Last year for Christmas with my side, we did lasagna that I made ahead and froze. We added garlic bread and salad. My mom always handles dessert, which is just a bunch of the Christmas cookies and candies she’s already making.
This year, my stepdad is making prime rib and each sib/family (there are 6 of us) us bringing an appetizer or side. Some will need to be reheated, but we can work that out once we’re there. We’ve also done something similar but with pulled pork.
Is there a reason the visiting families don’t take turns planning, shopping, and cooking? Or that the visiting adult children don’t assign themselves roles?
My dad sent an email after one visit saying that having us all there had wiped my mom out, glad though they were to have us visit. My siblings and I got the hint. (It was not, to be clear, that my dad would be stepping up in any way.
It’s not too bad, now that I have a system. I found it pretty exhausting the first few years, but now I have a little folder with lots of little notes to myself: “Cheesecake crust, then spice cake, then rest of cheesecake, then spice cake frosting,” “Pour the jello into the largest serving bowl,” and so on. On Wednesday I make desserts and the jello salad. Then on Thursday I make stuffing, mashed potatoes, and corn. Paul handles the turkey and ham, and we do a turkey tenderloin rather than a whole bird: Paul sous-vides it, and then briefly puts it in a hot pan to sear it and make it look more palatable (sous-vided meat is delicious but not pretty).
But I’m only cooking for 6 to 9 people. Once the kids are grown, if they come home with spouses and children and so forth, I’d want to figure out some system other than that. Perhaps if they’re local, we can do it as a potluck. If they’re not local, maybe I would put one kid in charge of the potatoes and one in charge of the stuffing—that kind of thing. I’m not sure, though, because I generally prefer to work alone in the kitchen.
We still have one of our kids with us because he tested positive for COVID and flu the day after Thanksgiving. So, you know, if you can somehow get kids to get jabbed a few weeks before they come home — one of my three did, another was up for The Swistle Plan, and the third, well, sigh. I am accepting any tips anyone has on that.
In years past, the rule has been that you have to provide a Christmas list by the Saturday after Thanksgiving. That was before I realized that the best gift a mother can get is a kid who doesn’t say “I forgot” about health-related matters.
Do I sound grumpy?
Oh, I’m sorry! It sounds like your home-sick kid is not too sick, I hope? But still. Stressful, and I hope the germs don’t spread. Ugh.