I don’t know if you already know this, but it turns out that if you do an unfamiliar thing more often, it becomes more familiar and less stressful. Just a little tip from me to you.
We have been visiting a lot of colleges, and also I went away for a Girls’ Weekend, and my packing/traveling stress has absolutely plummeted. I am now SUGGESTING trips, browsing vacation rentals, wondering aloud if there are any other colleges we should visit or perhaps re-visit, etc.
Paul’s birthday is coming up, and he has said he doesn’t want Crazy Cake. I have over the years tried to find the balance between “Explaining why the cake is not coming out right, despite my genuine attempt to make it right” and “Not making him feel bad that the cake is a huge source of stress and frustration each year.” Maybe ten years ago, he started making sounds about not wanting me to have to make the cake, so I dialed the frustration talk alllllll the way back; each time he made some sort of noise on the topic, I reiterated that it is his birthday and he should get the cake he wants to eat and not the cake I want to make, and that I certainly expect the same when it is MY birthday, and that is no big deal at all to make it once a year. I even threw in some talk about how the kids should grow up familiar with his special family recipe. I became outright cheerful about making the cake, whistling and singing happy little songs to show how unstressful it was.
But he has kept acting as if he doesn’t want to trouble me, and it has finally occurred to me that maybe he doesn’t really LIKE that cake anymore. There can definitely be a point where the Cherished Family Recipe of one’s childhood starts tasting like the salt-and-pepper-seasoned-sausage-wrapped-in-white-bread-and-dipped-in-ketchup (my own Cherished Family Recipe) that it deep-down IS, and maybe that has happened to his childhood Making-Do-With-Shortages Depression-Era Chocolate-Colored cake.
Anyway, I will be making the Hershey’s boiling-water cake, with a chocolate buttercream frosting that does not have any flour in it.
As someone about to start the visiting colleges process, I’m wondering if you could post about your experiences. Any recommendations/tips/advice? It’s my first time and I honestly have no idea what I am supposed to do and neither does my kid. Obviously I understand about size/location/degrees offered, but what is it about actual campuses I need to know or look for. I have heard you “just know” when you find the right college but that seems like entirely too much pressure and unrealistic.
One rule of thumb I’ve heard is “is there a good deal of construction going on on campus?” Lots of construction means that the university is doing well and investing back in the school.
Besides that: do the admissions staff seem helpful? How about the guidance counselor type people or professors you’re able to interact with as part of the admission/touring process? Do you like the things they’re saying? What do you think of the students you’re able to interact with during the process- do they seem happy? Smart? Able to articulate what they like/don’t like about the place? (No one prof or student is going to be a perfect representation, but it would tell you something if, for instance, even the campus tour guides seem unenthusiastic or not knowledgeable about the school.)
Does your child think they can picture themselves living and studying at this school? Does it seem too big or too small? Do the academics seem to be something they’d enjoy? (Like, a kid who is all about engineering may not want to end up at a liberal arts school where no engineering is offered! And a kid who wants to take all kinds of language and literature classes may not want to be at a technical university.) Do they think they could fit in, or at least find a subset of other students with whom to fit in? Does the environment seem interesting and stimulating? Do they “get the vibe”? There is a lot that goes into “just knowing,” but also, sometimes you “just know” haha
Perfect – thanks for this!
These are all such good things to keep in mind! Also, jot down some quick notes after each visit/tour. You think you’ll remember details but it all starts to blur. Even the disappointing tours help clarify what they might want in a school – size, urban/suburban/rural setting, emphasis on living on campus or not, research opportunities, sports culture, clubs and activities, etc. And definitely pay close attention to majors offered and the ability to switch majors, sometimes it’s not possible to switch into to the business or engineering school if interests change. Good luck!
Have we discussed that this is depression cake? your numbers are mostly right (based on a recipe I just googled) but is short on flour. Yours seems to be the doubled version of what I normally make and doubling it gives: 3c flour, 2t vanilla (not T), no baking powder, your cocoa instincts are correct.
I love it for chocolate cake.
And the icing is ermine but you REALLY need to make sure that milk/flour combo is goop – I go for nearly solid – and whip the crap out of everything. 5 minutes for butter + sugar alone and again 5 minutes as you SLOWLY add the goop. We also love it.
It’s wild that you hate it so much and I have to hide the icing bowl so I don’t eat it all. But go! Be free! Make other cakes!
Also I think is crazy/wacky because there aren’t eggs but I could be wrong. And a lot of recipes encourage chocolate icing and I cannot.
I also encourage a pinch of salt in the icing. Always add salt to your baked goods.
I remember the Crazy Cake story! My grandma used to make it for us but had the grace to not act like it was a special treat lol. I remember being perplexed that the MIL intended to frost a depression cake with frosting made from tons of butter and REAL VANILLA which is insanely expensive.
So funny to re-read that Crazy Cake post! I hope you will REVEL in this year’s cake and delicious frosting! I hope Paul and the kids will positively swoon over how delicious it is!
The gleeful chortle that escaped me reading your last two paragraphs can not be described. I’m so glad you get to make a good cake.
I make a version of crazy cake too because my daughter is allergic to eggs. I’ve actually tried a few versions by various bakers and they’ve all been great, though they use a bit more cocoa powder and usually call for hot water to bloom the cocoa or hot coffee. I haven’t had any sticking issues. I’ve never put flour in frosting. But the new recipe you’re trying out looks great too! If you have no food allergies then you should get to be adventurous with your recipes!
I love that you’re so into traveling! Do more of it and see what you discover and share it all here. We love to hear about it!
My spouses family has a cherished white cake recipe- it won prizes at the county fair for great granny! But it’s dry as sawdust. They call it White – not even vanilla flavored, likely because it tastes like white printer paper. Just horrible with a nasty white crisco frosting. They all speak highly of it and when we visit make it special just for us (please no). Even my kids don’t like it. After several year of marriage my husband has now experienced enough actually good desserts he stopped suggesting we make white cake. Maybe Paul has come to a similar conclusion- life is too short to eat crazy cake pudding.
Sounds like a good point to retire the old recipe! The Hershey’s chocolate cake looks like a homemade version of the chocolate cake mix that was the staple for every birthday in my childhood. Mom always acted like it was a secret that we were even going to have cake for anyone’s birthday and made a big deal of hiding the cake. Then, surprise! it was the same cake every time. For convenience sake, nowadays I love a chocolate cake with chocolate icing from Wegman’s grocery store.
Ha! And hooray for good cake!
I totally clicked through to read about your crazy cake, forgot that I had clicked through, left a comment, and then saw the previous comment was from 2011 and questioned why my reader was showing me posts from over ten years ago. Wow. My memory.
At any rate I hope you make a non-stressful totally-delicious cake that everyone can love!
That Hershey’s cake is so good. Just SO so good I, and many in my family, always ask for it on birthdays. One thing I love about it is since it’s an oil cake (and not butter), it has that boxed cake texture many of us love. Also! I find the frosting made with melted butter turns out so well, so easily. Yay cake!!
I would LOVE to hear more about the college tours and the kids’ likes and dislikes of what they saw. It’s just so fascinating to me. My daughter is 7… but judging by the speed the past 7 years have gone by she’s going to be 17 in about 4 days :/ so I’d better start mentally preparing!
Even though I read the Crazy Cake post in 2011, the refresher was equally (more maybe?) appalling. I’m so glad you might have the joy of never making it again. Thank goodness people don’t come back from the dead (because you know your MIL would and ugh ugh nope).
I used to have a lot of travel stress dreams, especially of the sort where I have to leave for the airport and I’m not packed yet.
And then in March 2020 I was on holiday in South America, the pandemic news was getting increasingly grim, more countries were closing their borders. One morning we were at breakfast and our tour guide came rushing in and told us to go pack. We had stuff all over the hotel room, damp washing hanging in the bathroom; we just shoved everything into our suitcases and within an hour we were on a plane heading home.
Since then I haven’t had any more travel stress dreams.
The familiarity lesson is one that I, too, have to keep learning and re-learning. I tend to FREAK OUT about new things (especially driving to new places), but subsequent times are way less freaky. Weird how that works.
Next time someone wants a chocolate cake, try flourless chocolate cake (ignore the pears in that recipe). It’s only coincidentally gluten free- there’s just no room for flour among all the eggs, butter, Dutch cocoa AND bittersweet chocolate.