This morning I woke up around 3:30 needing to pee, and then I lay awake thinking of all the things that needed to be done, and how stressed I was about them. Finally around 5:00 I decided to get up and do OTHER things. That is, at 5:00 a.m. I couldn’t get the Thanksgiving grocery shopping done, and I couldn’t take the car in for what needs to be done, and I couldn’t pick up Edward’s prescription, and I couldn’t call the vet about the cat. But I COULD spray bleach on the mildew that always settles in the seam of the shower, and I could put away the load of laundry I forgot in the dryer last night, and I could spray bleach in the gross toothbrush cups and let them soak, and I could put the bills out in the mailbox, and I could place a Target order for pick-up so that it would be ready when I went to pick up the prescription after work.
None of those things were the things I was lying awake agitating about, but it has gradually over many years managed to sink partially into my brain that doing ANY things that need to be done, even if they are not THE things that MOST need to be done, can reduce that terrible agitating feeling to the point where it is manageable—and in fact, even to the point where it makes it EASIER to do the things that DO need to be done. That is, I hate making phone calls—but somehow the momentum of spritzing the shower mildew and placing a Target pick-up order helps reduce my flapping levels enough that I think I will be able to call the vet this afternoon after I get home with the pick-up order and prescription.
And, because I got up early, and am all showered and dressed and scented delicately with bleach, I will have time before work to zip over the grocery store right when it opens and get the few Thanksgiving things I was most agitating about and couldn’t get in the pick-up order.
Ugh. I hate not being able to sleep and I have been sleeping poorly the last several weeks. I’m glad you were able to wring some productivity out of it.
I feel similarly, and I think of it as dividing my timé productively. Since I have to do those other things during “business hours” I can do this stuff during non-business hours. Then I don’t have to try to get it done later when I am doing all the other things.
Swistle, I love you.
I could leave the comment at just that, but it feels a little weird? So, I love you for your voice and sharing in such a chatty, thoughtful, compelling way with good humor such a variety of topics, thoughts, and experiences. I feel like my life is sweeter and richer for having read your blogs for years and the only twinge in that is the regret that I don’t get to sit in person with you and talk back.
I think SO OFTEN of your drops in the bucket principle, which this post reminds me of. I sometimes mutter comfortingly to myself, “drops in the bucket!” as I do one little thing in the middle of what feels like insurmountable chaos. Thank you for that post and this one and so many others.
May you get all your desired groceries, prescriptions, and cat help, and may the mildew be slow to come back. Happy early Thanksgiving. I’m so thankful for you.
Yes to all of this! Thank you.
Ditto to all of this! Especially about reciting the “drops in the bucket mantra.” My husband overheard me once and decided to let it go when my only clarification was that “the drops are IN THE BUCKET! IN!!”
Hear, hear! Brittany wonderfully summed up my feelings about you and this blog! In addition to Drops in the Bucket, I often think about Startling Expenses. Thank you for all of the food for thought you’ve given me! This is my favorite website. :)
Wishing you and yours a wonderful Thanksgiving! I hope the vet call went well!
P.S. I was wracking my brains for a good gift for our Thanksgiving hostess, and I thought about how much enjoyment I’ve been getting out of the battery operated candles you recommended, so I ordered a set for her! And then I ordered myself ANOTHER set (of 9!!!), because it’s so delightful that our candles turn on at 6:30pm, and automatically turn off at 10:30. Revolutionary!
Same here. The last 2 months have been very much “it may be drops but at least they are IN the bucket” months. My mantras have become “even small steps forward are FORWARD” and “drops IN the bucket”. When I get overwhelmed I say versions of those over and over.
So thank you.
And thank you, too, for you cranberry/raspberry jello recipe. More of that was eaten than any of the versions of cranberry sauce I’ve tried. I’m filling that traditional cranberry spot on the menu (that my people insist on) but with something my people will eat.
Yes! I was just thinking that Swistle is the adultier adult I need, and it’s advice like this that helps me strive to do better with my tasks.
This post is such quintessential Swistle, I love it. I was also agitating about Thanksgiving groceries (need! more! butter!), so I went to the grocery store on Saturday afternoon. This was silly, because of course it was coocoo bananas in there, but it was worth it because I saw something very funny. A manager was running around among the cashiers, exhorting them to keep their lines moving (I think), and rewarding the fastest cashier with a helium balloon tied to a large potato. “NAME IT!” she commanded. “It’s yours!!” I was mystified and very amused. Happy Balloon-tatoes-giving everyone!
Just wanted to say that the phrase “coocoo bananas” gave me a lovely little chuckle this morning :)
‘Reduce my flapping levels’….this is exactly it.
You are a comfort. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
I dragged my children to the grocery store AT BEDTIME on Friday night to get some of the Thanksgiving food shopping out of the way (before the weekend mobs) to calm some of the flapping. It was 100% worth it.
What Brittany said!
Also an actual LOL (my sister and I write ALOL) at “delicately scented with bleach.”
“Scented delicately with bleach.” I love you, Swistle. Ancient lurking reader here, never commented before, but this is the moment. Thank you for your marvelous rendering of everything: domesticity, parenting, spousal delight and despair, homeownership, anxiety, compassion and righteous rage, education, politics, health care (health care!!!!), the intricate conspiracies of librarians and home aides and caregivers of people with chronic illnesses and different ways of approaching the world, broad moral conundrums, and the way we should all Just Be Better to Each Other, gosh darn it! Like any of us, you are a drop in the bucket of the world, but you are a damned fine drop and you are In the Bucket. Thank you. So much.
I agree wholeheartedly with Brittany’s comments. We have totally different lives (I’m a retired 74-year-old and we’ve never had children or a hectic lifestyle). But you describe so beautifully and accurately the crazy places our minds can take us and how you manage to ‘stop the crazy’ and get back to a calmer place.
I am so sorry that today is a call the vet day. I cannot tell if it is The Call you are making, but if so I am sending you so much love. And if it is just a more normal sort of call, I am sending you solidarity because calls of any sort are AWFUL and should be BANNED.
Those 3:30 am wake-ups are the worst. I swear I have them more and more frequently and if this is How It Is in my forties I am… not going to be pleased, because what other recourse do I have.
Good for you for getting up instead of playing “if I fall asleep in the next five minutes, I’ll still get X hours of sleep” until your normal wake-up time. That’s admirable. Hope the grocery store wasn’t yet a nightmare when you arrived.
Here I am awake at 3:00 something and the last thing I want to do is peel carrots but maybe I should just get up and peel carrots.
This is genius. GENIUS. Thank you so much for posting this.
This time of year is very much the time of year for 3-5am worries isn’t it? Festive overwhelm on top of all the regular overwhelm!
We’ve just celebrated Friendsgiving (I made 3 pies from scratch. To be fair my husband handles the savoury aspect of things.) This weekend I’m driving a 10-11 hour round trip to see friends who I really owe some time and attention… but I’m dreading all the jobs piling up. The weekend after that we’re going to London, visiting family and my daughter is seeing a West End musical as a birthday gift. In between there is a 2 page list of school activities, plus preschool activities, gifts to buy, cards to post, toilets to clean, floors to scrub, hobbies to ferry children to, etc etc etc.
I am VERY MUCH looking forward to ‘twixmas when I plan to do NOTHING for 7 straight days. But I think you’re totally right – the only thing that helps is to start. I find myself muttering Going on a Bear Hunt under my breath – can’t go over it, can’t go round it, got to go through it ;)
I could have written this.
(Not in Swistle voice, obv, just that this describes me so well, is what I mean.) You are a gift to us all.
Swistle, I just wanted to say that years of your posts in which you describe “just getting up and doing stuff to decrease the to-do list, no matter what they are” have really helped me get into that habit