I found out this morning that one of my cousins eloped with her fiancé, which was very fun news to see on Facebook first thing in the morning—tons of “WHAT???? CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!” comments.
Now I wish to buy her a wedding present, but (1) they do not seem to have a registry and (2) they are in their 30s, and they already own a house. So I do not think they need a toaster.
I am worried you will say I should just send money. I don’t want to hear that I should just send money, EVEN IF IT IS TRUE. I wish to purchase a gift, and send it with a gift receipt, or else not care that they can’t return it and will have to regift it.
I’m not at all stressed about accidentally sending something they don’t want / can’t use. That feels like an utterly normal and not-stressful and manageable thing to have happen; and, if it happens with my gift, I trust them to count the thought, and then either return the gift if possible, or find a new home for it if not.
So I am looking for wedding-gift ideas, but more than that I find I am looking for wedding-gift TALK. I just feel like THINKING ABOUT and TALKING ABOUT wedding gifts. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a chance to do that: there was a big flutter of weddings a decade or two ago, but I’m not quite into the era of friends’ kids getting married. I was discussing it with a co-worker who IS in that era, and she says everyone now is registering for things like “champagne on the airplane to and from our honeymoon – $50,” “couples massage – $200,” and boy, that does not appeal to me even a tiny bit.
Here are some of the things I’d enjoy discussing, if you too would enjoy it:
• Favorite wedding gifts you’ve RECEIVED, especially something you didn’t think to ask for
• Favorite wedding gifts you’ve GIVEN
• Favorite wedding gifts you’ve HEARD ABOUT
• I see nothing wrong with also discussing LEAST favorite / funniest gifts
• What YOU would give a cousin in her 30s who owns a house, as long as the answer isn’t “money”
• Really any thoughts at all about wedding gifts, just feel free to say whatever
• Except “money,” I mean it, I’m not sending money
One of my favorite received wedding gifts was a box of assorted Christmas ornaments—from, as it happens, a cousin (a different cousin). They were the kind sold individually rather than the kind sold in sets, and it was a somewhat surprising gift and she didn’t explain it or anything. Every year when I hang them on the tree I think of her.
A wedding gift I used to like to give, often along with something from the registry, was several sets of address labels (holiday set! heart-decorated set! etc.!), but that works better when the couple didn’t already live together and/or when a name-change is involved. It also worked better a decade or two ago, when people paid more bills by mail.
One of the most unfortunate wedding gifts we received was a framed embroidery, quite large, obviously very time-consuming, with the wrong wedding date on it, and also my name spelled wrong.
One gift I am considering is a pair of heated throw blankets. It seems cozy. But this is the wrong time of year for that.
I could send a care package full of treats and other things that keep well / can be used up. They seem like the kind of couple who would do fun face-treatment masks together while drinking spiked hot cocoa, and I could make a care package for that, plus cookies and window prisms and just whatever looked fun/good.
I could send a two sets of really nice towels. Kind of boring, but in a wedding-registry type of way, and I like the “get the REALLY GOOD version of something normal” type of gift idea.
I could send alcohol, which I’d consider a risky gift except that they often post photos of themselves at a friendly-looking bar, with friends. But shipping alcohol tends to be so much more expensive than just buying it at the store, and it’s complicated because someone has to be home to receive the package, so eh.
I could send them a big assortment of See’s candies. That feels celebratory. I could do one custom box, which would allow me to choose a heart-shaped box, and then fill in with miscellaneous other things: peanut brittle, sour candy, etc.
Or flowers! Celebratory! Weddingish! I don’t care that they don’t last long, and that might be a plus in this case!
I could get them matching/coordinating Comfys. They definitely seem like that kind of couple.
My sister-in-law recently sent Edward a 24-pack of assorted craft sodas, which was such a fun gift it made me want to immediately buy it for someone else, so perhaps this is my moment.
Oooo, or another thing that made me feel that way was when a dear friend ordered me multiple packages of Girl Scout cookies as a surprise!! THAT would be a fun wedding gift!! A WHOLE BUNCH OF GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!! Oh that seems like a really fun idea!!
My favorite wedding gift was a camp couch. My husband and I love camping and it was romantic (we get to sit by the fire TOGETHER) but also practical. We still use it and love it. Does your cousin have any hobbies like that? Based on the “going to a friendly neighborhood bar” pictures, you could call the place they like and buy a gift card, if it’s even the type of place that has that.
Or experiences are fun — you could look on Yelp/TripAdvisor for fun things around them that might be fun to do with a group of friends, like axe-throwing, arcade, etc. This was not a wedding gift but I still remember fondly when my SIL bought me and my husband a Groupon for a bicycle outing in a mountain area an hour or so outside the city, followed by beers around a campfire.
The Groupon idea is swell!
I was also going to suggest calling that bar to get gift cards!
My niece is getting married this spring and they have owned a home together for about a year. So far I have sent a very nice coffeemaker from the registry for the shower. Good sheets are expensive and improve the quality of your life every day. The only wedding presents I’m still using twenty years later are my kitchenaid mixer, crystal, and china.
Vintage Pyrex in pretty colors is all the rage right now and apparently fairly easy to find at estate sales. I would love to receive some of that.
Is Vintage Pyrex all the rage again? I started collecting years ago, then it got SUPER popular for a while, then it seemed to settle down again. I LOVE my Pyrex, the old patterns are so beautiful and I love thinking about all the people who enjoyed family dinners with them. It is incredible how well Pyrex has held up if taken care of (not put in the dishwasher)-it is bright and beautiful, even 60 years after it was made!
I love thinking of the meals prepared it then too.
I found my “pattern” on a pop socket on Amazon! It brings me so much joy to see it.
I like to buy personalized Christmas ornaments for friends that get married. One of the wedding gifts that I still use to this day (13 yrs later) and always appreciate is a deep dish lasagna dish that is kinda fluted and fancy. You could go with pretty serving ware or a nice wooden cutting board, etc. Something like that would be fun to pick out and fun to receive!
I also thought Christmas ornament with 2022 would be excellent!!
Honestly, all of these are lovely ideas, and I completely understand not wanting to send money, and also I understand that this particular generation of marrying people seems to be leaning much more into doing stuff rather than having stuff, and it complicates gift-giving. I am a person who really enjoys finding just the right gift and also picking out something from a registry…it is a lot of paradigm shifting for me at times.
So let me get the tough stuff out of the way and say that you may find ordering Girl Scout cookies to be harder than you expect this year. In our Chicago troop we had to suspend online sales due to supply chain issues that were much farther reaching than the Midwest. Just a heads up. :(
Personally I love the idea of Xmas ornaments as gifts if you know your recipient will celebrate with ornaments. They are my personal favorite souvenir because they are specific and I will see them once a year and get to relive whatever they remind me of, and also they are not enormous so I’m not dealing with huge souvenirs that eventually I might think I have to get rid of because of downsizing or tastes changing. And I have many dated ornaments marking special times, like “First Christmas in the New House” type ornaments. So that is my first choice, from your list.
What about something that would be household-y but supports a cause? I’ve been really into gifting ceramics from Mud Girls studios lately. “MudGirls Studios helps women transition onto a pathway towards self-sufficiency and out of poverty.” Maybe a fun gift box from the Women’s Bean Project? This is less cause-related but I love the pottery from East Fork. handmade locally in NC and supportive of their artists.
Favorite wedding gift received: Beautiful personalized Christmas stockings. Then, when we had a child, they sent us a matching stocking for him. So thoughtful and fun! (Obviously only appropriate for Christmas-celebrators; the gift-giver was a family member who knew we celebrate Christmas.)
Favorite wedding gift to give: A vase from the Metropolitan Museum of Art or some other interesting source that is not a department store, but can still be returned.
I love the idea of sending flowers! And/or chocolates.
Oooh, fun! I’m not married, but I am happy to share my thoughts regardless.
I have a The Comfy (I don’t know why, but I find it amusing to refer to it exclusively as “The Comfy,” never just “Comfy”) and it is magical. I wear it around the house almost daily, including right at this very moment. I have a The Comfy Dream, which is a lighter weight than the original The Comfy, but it’s plenty warm enough for my eternally chilly apartment – and in fact I think the original might have been TOO warm. (The only reason I bought the Dream was because it comes in lavender and the original doesn’t, but it worked out.) I’m on board with the The Comfy idea, is what I’m saying.
Do they have a backyard? My cousin and her husband registered for a hammock when they got married a few years ago, and I thought that was such a fun gift idea. Alas, someone else bought it for them before I had a chance to.
If they drink alcohol, maybe they’d like a set of nice cocktail or wine glasses? Or maybe an assortment of fun little bar accessories? I’m thinking things like drink coasters, fun/whimsical cocktail napkins, those little drink tags that go on wine glasses so you can tell yours apart from everyone else’s, that sort of thing. I gave my mom a cocktail shaker shaped like a maraca a few years ago (I got it on the Kikkerland website; not sure if it’s still available) and it was a big hit.
Or you could commission someone on Etsy to make them a commemorative framed embroidery, with an incorrect wedding date and misspelled names! Make it a family tradition! (Just kidding.) (Mostly.)
And I don’t think you could possibly go wrong with Girl Scout cookies.
Oh! We got a hammock too – something I never would have bought for myself, but we’ve liked having it so much that we are on our third one.
I also refer to my comfy as The Comfy! “I am cold, going to go get The Comfy” is often heard around my house, lol
Best wishes for the happy couple! You’ll have to give an update when you decide.
Some non-monetary wedding gift ideas:
*Alcohol adjacent housewares — fun barware, accessories (coasters, shakers, stirrers), ice trays, mixers.
*Knives – I would kill (pun intended) for a set of good knives.
*Something photo related — you can customize a vase with photos (my sister did this and it came out really lovely)
*Also photo related – you can hire a carictaturist (sp) that can do a drawing based on photo
I was thinking about a 3 month wine subscription? There are Groupon deals for those.
Etsy something customized.
Sur La Table has fun spatulas and dish towels ( which is what I got for my son’s wedding plus a gift card).
I’m not sure what I’m getting my other son for his wedding in a few weeks.
Christmas ornaments are my favorite thing to pick out for people. Just gave my boyfriend’s sister and her new husband one for their wedding in December! I like the idea of something they probably wouldn’t necessarily splurge on themselves, like matching spa robes or those towels you mentioned. A nice charcuterie board along with some cheese knives, salami, olives, etc.? That is very of-the-moment and also will timeless/lasting. I’d love someone to get me a great cutting board. The best gift I’ve bought recently was a handmade breadknife (really kind of a saw, with a beautiful hand-carved wooden handle) for my gramps who bakes his own artisan bread. He talks about it all the time and it’s just a practical work of art. So maybe something handmade, wood, that will last forever and be really an artistic showpiece. The last *wedding* gift I bought was a bread box, which I chose off their registry. I have a breadbox (a cute vintage-looking mint green one) and bake bread so I felt like that felt more personal, even though it was something they asked for.
My favorite was a cooking vessel (in my case a stockpot) with a family recipe inside (my childhood favorite soup recipe) I’ve also seen this done on multiple expense levels (brownie pan w fun brownie recipe and bag of mix ins vs les crueset with fancy chicken recipe). It all works and makes me happily smile whenever I pull that item out to use. It’s an especially fun meal to make!
That said, I also could not love a blanket (or blankets!) more.
What a nice thing to think about right now vs anything on the news!
I actually like the idea of a super customized box of See’s. It’s a fun present they probably would never get for themselves but they will likely enjoy it over the course of many days and will think of you every time they get a treat.
There is a cocktail subscription kit called Shaker and Spoon that sounds fun. You could send them a 3 or 6 month subscription so they can make fun cocktails at home (maybe as a monthly wedding anniversary celebration between them!)
I am also a fan of sending very nice versions of household things – knives, linens, towels.
For years I gave a large pasta serving dish with a favorite recipe (Penne alla Vodka) with a box of pasta, a mickey of vodka, a container of crushed red pepper flakes, and a tube of nice tomato paste. Sometimes I threw in a dish towel (monogrammed is nice) or a set of wooden spoons, as well.
I love this post and all the ideas!
My favorite gift for younger couples who ‘need’ more stuff is a food processor. I use mine ALL the time and sing its praises, so it is something I find highly useful. (I also include a gift receipt.)
Someone else suggested knives–my husband and i were each already established (and I was a homeowner) prior to marrying, but neither of us had any good knives, so that is a good suggestion. Even a single nice knife, or a set of steak knives would be great and useful.
I am in the South, and we are BIG on monogrammed things. For people that I think would also like that, I have given gifts engraved with their ‘new’ monogram (assuming names were changed). For a non elopement of a good friend, I had her wedding invitation engraved on a server platter as a display piece (which was really a bummer when she divorced a year later, oh well).
If your cousin is the type that a dinner at a nice restaurant would be a good treat, that is a nice gift card to give. Or could you do a month or two of a wine club? That might be a fun way to send alcohol (and I have found to be surprisingly inexpensive). Or some sort of other activity–Costco today had a pack of two movie tickets + $20 concession credit for $36!!
Oh, monogrammed towels were actually one of my least favorite wedding gifts because of the reason you mention. My Dad’s business partner ponied up for very nice monogrammed towels, assumed that a name (mine) was changing…but it wasn’t. We still have the towels but I confess they are usually used for sloppy household chores.
In my circles and for my own wedding, most of the physical gifts purchased were for the engagement party or shower, so that is what I will refer to as wedding gifts. My favorite gifts that we still use 16.5 years later are a couple of big Coleman coolers (Yeti was not yet a thing but I would not have chosen them anyway), and a set of really good steak knives that we use daily for various things. My favorite thing to give is a really nice wood cutting board. So much easier when people register – maybe if they have enough people asking, they will make a post-elopement registry. Cuts down on so many returns.
My husband and I got married in our mid-30s and were combining two households. So we asked our guests for a copy of a book they loved. We have a shelf full of these books, which have been delightful reads. The oddest gift was from an aunt who gave us a copy of “The Secret Garden” by Frances Hodgson Burnett along with a copy of a post-apocalyptic sci-fi novel about runaway climate change. One of the best was a homemade recipe/cookbook. Credit to Carolyn Hax for the idea of a book registry!
Barring that, a Christmas ornament with a space for a wedding picture would be great.
The book registry is an AMAZING idea!
I love this idea and I now have it in my head that BOTH those book could be called The Secret Garden, lol
There is also the advent type craft beer option like the craft soda idea.
Mostly people got us registry items but we did receive 3 items not on our list:
– A bowl and egg cup both in polka dot pattern
– A thermos with a painted picture on it if a couple holding balloons, along with 2 portable wine glasses. So kind of camping related.
– A set of small knives with a magnetic board that can be screwed to the wall for them to hang on
We never use the first gift, I found it a bit cheesy. We occasionally use the thermos (although the picture was not my cup of tea), rarely the wine glasses. We use the knives all the time but never hung up the holder. Even though not used I can’t bear to give them away!
I always like to go with something people don’t usually buy themselves. We received a couple of really pretty and unique vases that I still have and use 27 years later. Although, new knives would be amazing. I also like the idea of nicer versions of everyday things… sheets, towels, etc. And, I would never say no to See’s chocolates.
The wedding gift I was most excited to put on our registry and receive was a Simple Human kitchen trash can, because it was something I wanted but was more expensive than a trash can I would have bought for us. I still love it! But this is not particularly helpful if you don’t know if it’s something they need or want. Another idea is a cookbook that you really like and know to be useful. I hardly ever use cookbooks because almost everything already lives online, but for some reason I still like to get/have them, especially the buzzy ones that it seems like everyone is talking about. Also a really nice, beautiful wooden cutting board is something no one will ever complain about getting. That just reminded me that one of the only off-registry gifts we got was a personalized cutting board with our initials and wedding date engraved in it (probably from Etsy). It’s so nice as decor, we hung it on our kitchen wall and don’t ever use it.
Not a suggestion, but funny story. I received a lovely cut glass/crystal multi-sectioned serving tray as a wedding gift. Upon opening the actual box I found it had been regifted to me! An uncle of the person that had given it to me had put in a personal note when he gave it to her! But she must never have opened the box. I laughed and never said anything to her.
Haha! Exact same thing happened to us but it was a Corningware casserole dish. The wedding card (to the couple who regifted it to us) was tucked inside the box so they obviously never even opened the box. I still have that dish and think of them every time I use it!
I think a subscription to Shaker and Spoon would be a wonderful gift. Getting something fun in the mail each month for 3 or 6 months or so? Sounds great to me!
Ditto but poultry shears with the original, decades-old receipt in the box from someone else! (they were really good poultry shears, and I appreciated them greatly)
Now I do not tuck notes into gifts, even though that is so fun, because of maybe-regifting (which I am totally fine with, if I missed the gift target accidentally!). The notes go on the outside of the box of the item now!
My favorite thing to receive (other than cash, we are not discussing cash, I read the rules) is consumables. A case of wine. A gift certificate to the neighborhood Indian place. A gift card for their favorite airline to use on their next trip. I received a voucher for tickets to an upcoming show at one of the big theaters in my city. I was married in my mid 30s, and owned a house, and truly didn’t need anything, so I loved stuff like that. I did get some well meaning crystal champagne flutes and a few vases, all of which were appreciated and re-homed.
Oh, I love this post and I have lots of ideas!
– A gift we have gotten that was fun was a craft cocktail kit that came with liquor. It felt fancy and unusual.
– Good outdoor chairs (the sort you take to a reunion or soccer game). I find these are annoying to have to buy but something you are always grateful for!
– A gift I have given in the past: a six pack of Penzey’s spices and a basic simple cookbook (like Americas Test Kitchen Basics)
– A picnic themed gift, with a waterproof blanket, outdoor glasses, etc
– I always love a theme gift like “ice cream” or “movie night” that I can build a gift around.
Ooh yes, we got a picnic basket with all the stuff inside! We used it for years until the basket fell apart. And we only got one which it made it unique
My favorite personal wedding gift is a fancy crystal ice bucket from Tiffany’s. Friends of my parents gifted it to us. It arrived in the classic Tiffany blue wrapping. Thirty years later I love putting that fancy ice bucket out for parties and even casual get-togethers. I always think of who gave it, how it arrived, and the excitement of that moment.
A favorite wedding gift for me to give is an ice cream maker. I like to give an electric one that looks like the old-fashioned barrel style. I just think it’s a fun gift and not likely anything they’ll already have or receive from anyone else.
I LOVE the idea of an ice cream maker! I think it might be something people would want but maybe not buy for themselves, and yes I’m speaking for myself :)
You know I am fully on board with the Girl Scout cookies idea! :)
Setting aside my own self-interest, would they like kringle, such as a kringle-of-the-month subscription? Could this be your next opportunity for kringle evangelism?
Our worst wedding gift was a GIGANTIC molded plastic seashell which was perhaps meant to be a punch bowl or a salad bowl for about a hundred people. When we returned it, the price was $12 so we selected an ice cream scoop which is actually a VERY good ice cream scoop and I am pleased every time I use it, so those people won in the end.
Another clunker gift was a truly hideous vase that turned out to be extremely expensive, and when we returned it we were floored by how much it cost. And the store didn’t just give us store credit – they gave us a CHECK! So we got many hundreds of dollars out of that gift – a total win.
My favorite wedding gifts are in the vein of “upgraded version of normal things” that people might not buy for themselves. So a beautiful wooden cutting board or handmade wooden salad bowl, or a fancy wood or marble cheese tray with cheese knives, just little luxuries that make entertaining more fun.
This isn’t exactly money, per se, but of the most thoughtful wedding gifts I’ve seen was a collection of 4-5 gift cards to local restaurants – basically paying for a bunch of dates.
This might be too specific, but board games? I’m thinking Catan, Ticket to Ride, etc.
HERE FOR THIS.
My favourite gifts I received were actually wedding shower gifts, but I am going to tell you anyway. I had one of those “time of day” showers where the guests received a time of the day and they gave a gift themed on that time. It was so fun. For 3pm, for example, I received fancy cappuccino cups with a milk foamer. I received a bottle of tequila, margarita mix, those cute blue Mexican glasses, and a fancy fajita pan with a Mexican cookbook. For a morning gift, it was a brunch cookbook with mixing bowls and a bottle of sparkling wine and a container of orange juice. I realize these won’t ship well, but you get the idea. I received a fancy pasta bowl, which I use decoratively, and a strainer, which I use every week. A gift I absolutely loved was a “chip and dip” platter, and attached to it were handwritten recipes for three different dips. Oh! And a set of coasters, with a fancy ice bucket, martini shaker, etc. Just fun things that can be used for a long time, that’s my favourite.
My next door neighbor is 50 and just got surprised married/eloped at city hall and I was SO HAPPY when she told me. I sent my small children over with a bottle of champagne (my daughter had to use two hands to hold it) and fresh flowers and cards they made (my son’s: Have a great honeymoon and life! my daughters: what did your dress look like?) and it just made me, well, again, SO HAPPY.
Agree- a very fun topic that I haven’t considered in a while!
We got some pretty stationery from Etsy that took a photo of our house and made it look like a watercolor painting. Another idea is a Global chef knife- awesome knife and you can customize it with a phrase or name when you order it on Amazon. Final idea is a pretty serving dish- shallow pasta bowl or unbreakable plater for outdoor entertaining. Fun fun!!
My favorite wedding gift that we were given was an Eames coat rack. https://www.eamesoffice.com/the-work/hang-it-all/
Runner up was a set of really nice nesting bowls from Crate and Barrel. Twelve years later use them almost every day and they cost more than something I would have bought myself.
I also like the idea of giving things that get used up, like a case of wine or a really nice gift basket. I send Harriet and David baskets and people always love them.
We got a picnic basket (actually a backpack) filled with things like: mini salt/pepper shakers, a little cutting board and knife, blanket, 2 plates, plastic wine glasses, a corkscrew, napkins, etc. We used it maybe twice, but I loved the idea of it, and it was fun planning a day trip that included it. Wonder where it is now… I also received a beautiful bird feeder and a great set of wind chimes. 22 years later, they still both make me happy when I have my coffee in the morning on my porch in the summer.
My favorite gift I received that I NEVER would have thought to ask for is a personalized wine chilling cooler. You would need to know exactly what they are doing with their last names to make this work. We entertain a fair amount (well pre COVID) and I am always surprised by how handy it is when you’re having friends over to keep the wine cold but also out in the open. I think she also added a more traditional ice bucket, too?
It especially made me happy that she knew I was keeping my last name and know we have something with both our names on it commemorating the year we got married!
https://www.personalcreations.com/personalgifts?REF=PCRFeedGooglePLA_PID_30109961&ssid=4&cobrand=PCR&prid=pcrpla1525&top=bs593fbcatw2c&pid=30109961
Here is the correct link:
https://www.personalcreations.com/product/-30109961?REF=PCRFeedGooglePLA_PID_30109961&ssid=4&cobrand=PCR&cvosrc=pla.google.30109961&adpos=&scid=scplp30011932&sc_intid=30011932&prid=pcrpla1525&top=bs593fbcatw2c&gclsrc=aw.ds&gclid=CjwKCAiAg6yRBhBNEiwAeVyL0I3fHl6thS5fXf1gz85wi9yG75UCVjwK_VCfHgCOLCXLSwq6oE-GiRoCv_oQAvD_BwE
What about something based on your shared set of grandparents? For example, if one of my cousins were to get married I might send them our grandmother’s recipe for chocolate pie with a lovely pie plate and some particularly nice baking chocolate.
My favorite most-used-not-registered for wedding gift was a queen-sized feather duvet (not an insert) in a similar color scheme to other linens we had registered for. I think this can be updated to the heated blanket that you mentioned or a weighted blanket. Pretty much, blankets rock.
Going on 15 years, my most used registered-for gifts are my Dyson, my Calphalon pots and pans, and my Henckles cutlery. If they are kitchen people at all, nice knives or knife storage is awesome. Also neutral serving pieces or serving pieces in their set are awesome if they are at all social.
If I had to buy a higher end gift for myself right now, I would get another set of Brooklinen sheets.
When we moved into our new house, a neighbor brought me a beautiful set of locally made candlesticks and handrolled beeswax candles. One of my favorite gifts ever (she and her tween daughter had bought a kit for the candlesticks and made them together. They were rolled in a linen handtowel. All of this I found swoony.)
Several times I have gifted a house drawing from an artist. This is not returnable and maybe they aren’t in their forever house, but it has been a well received gift (or maybe this is the newer version of your embroidery gift).
Oh, I forgot!
My aunt and uncle recently gifted us an outdoor heater. I we recently got my husband a Solo outdoor bonfire. If they are hang-out-outside people, both of those things are awesome!
In the ‘nice version of normal things’ category I bought myself this very pretty colander many years ago and I always think it would be a great gift, useful but fancy, doesn’t have to match anything they already have.
https://www.amazon.com.au/Mariefleur-Kitchen-Strainer-Villeroy-Boch/dp/B00926IGKO
Our favorite wedding gift was custom portraits of our 2 dogs. They were such a surprise and give me such a happy feeling every time I pass by them.
See’s Candy! I just talked about it on our podcast and mentioned you!
I haven’t been to a wedding in a while (also old enough that all friends/family are married years ago and young enough that kids and their associates are not yet there…) I always used to like to gift picture frames for the couple to insert their wedding/honeymoon photos. Not sure how many people still print out and display photos or if digital photos have taken their place… oooh… maybe a digital photo frame?
I always see ads for tenmokus coffee/tea mugs showing up in my Facebook feed (tenmokus.com). They’re stunningly gorgeous, way more expensive than I’d ever spend on myself, and quite a bit smaller than I’d like, but I think they’d make a gorgeous wedding gift. Every time they show up in my feed I’m blown away by how gorgeous they are.
My favorite wedding gift (a very long time ago) was a bread maker because my husband enjoyed using it so I got fresh bread without effort! My favorite wedding gift I’ve given was a throw blanket I crocheted to match my nephew and his wife’s living room. Small enough to get rid of but at least matched their decor if they kept it. Things that go on walls are a no-no. If I were giving a gift now I would probably do a subscription box to something foodie like a spice box, charcuterie box, or a coffee/tea box, depending on if they’re vegan or whatever. I tend to stay away from alcoholic gifts because you never know who is trying to cut back or quit even if you’ve seen pics of them drinking before.
Two of my favorite gifts I received that weren’t on my registry were a casserole dish from a local pottery place (I never even use it, but it still makes me happy to think about), and a plaque with our wedding invitation somehow embossed on it. I used to have it hanging in our kitchen, now it’s on a picture shelf in our office.
We got a butterbell from a local pottery place. It’s been put away safely since we had kids, but it is definitely something I never knew I wanted and pretty cool.
My sister-in-law did the plaque of our wedding invitation (decoupage I believe). We love it and have hung it in every house we have lived in. It helps that we are sentimental and have been married so long.
Do they like to bake? I am crazy for Nordic Ware-there are so many wonderful products. If they celebrate holidays there are all kinds of holiday ware. I know that is a present I would love. It also seems to me like something that could be passed along to other family members, because the products are built to last.
I recently gave a set of blue champagne coupes from Estelle Colored Glass. I have a variety colored set and I love them for cocktails or for champagne. I’ve sent wine from Municipal Winemakers in Santa Barbara (they have three different labels that are very unique but fun), and I think they make shipping really easy.
I’m also a fan of a selection of Christmas ornaments. I remember being really broke in my 20s and I was a bridesmaid so the expenses were stacking up. I handmade ornaments using wooden cutouts, paint, and gold thread all from Michaels. And more recently I bought those fancy German glass ornaments from a local shop that does fabulous complimentary gift wrap.
My favorite gifts were from my registry—a pair of lamps from Crate and Barrel, and everyday china from Macys that I still really do use everyday, 11 years later. I got all the platters and serving bowls too and I love love love them. I would never have bought them on my own, but they are a perfect gift.
I’ve also gifted sets of serving utensils which are indispensable if you ever host dinner parties or holidays.
My favourite gifts are always thoughtfully chosen experiences. If they’re spa people maybe a gift card to a local one, if they’re foodies maybe a restaurant/takeout gift card. Go to town, especially for local delights.
Then you don’t have to worry about buying them a thing they already have/don’t have room for.
My favorite wedding gift was a fancy wine bottle opener with a bottle of wine, because I use it often and always think of the people who gave it to me when I do. I also like handmade pottery as a gift, but we are artsy and I could see how a non artsy person might think that was weird or strange.
Yes to fancier normal things – cutting board, knives and wine glasses were some of my favorite gifts!
I also eloped and had two people send artwork of our wedding day, one a painting of the location and the other a painting of a wedding day picture we posted. I love them both so much!
The best wedding gift I got was probably a wooden electric ice cream maker. I would have never thought to ask for it, but we used it a lot and I always thought of the couple when we did.
• Favorite wedding gifts you’ve RECEIVED, especially something you didn’t think to ask for: Wind chimes! I always loved my parent’s chimes and wanted some, but never thought about putting them on a registry or anything. My husband’s co-worker gave us a set along with some money and I was sooo happy.
• Favorite wedding gifts you’ve GIVEN: I’ve only ever given cash, which feels very boring after reading all of these.
• Favorite wedding gifts you’ve HEARD ABOUT: Date night experiences (cooking class, wine making class, etc.).
• I see nothing wrong with also discussing LEAST favorite / funniest gifts: We didn’t get anything terrible, but a friend’s boss went in together with another couple and got friend a big, expensive piece of art that was not on their registry and was extremely ugly.
• What YOU would give a cousin in her 30s who owns a house, as long as the answer isn’t “money”: A personalized cheese board with tools and small dishes.
• Really any thoughts at all about wedding gifts, just feel free to say whatever: If you do give cash, what’s the standard amount these days? I guess that depends on where you live, age, etc., right?
Favorite gift was a very nice Dutch oven in a very pretty color.
Weirdest was a single towel- not from our registry but a different color. Just one.
I like consumable gifts or events for birthdays and Christmas, but weddings and (and births) I like heirlooms, or things that will be used for years.
If you do go with cookies, pair it with a beautiful cookie jar.
A wedding gift we received and still appreciate was a monogrammed tote bag from LL Bean with two monogrammed beach towels. The tote is infinitely useful and the beach towels were festive (and better quality than ones we’d have bought for ourselves).
For a foodie gift, perhaps a couple of months of a subscription to Universal Yums? Each month you receive a box of snacks from a different country. It’s fun to try them, and tasting/discussing them makes for good conversation!
One unusual gift we ended up loving (and still have 19 years later!) are two large, plush beach towels. The giver knew we were going to the beach for our honeymoon and they were much nicer beach towels than we’d ever have bought for ourselves. For this couple, I’d suggest one fancy knife. Even if they already have a set of nice knives, a single fancy knife will be a welcome addition.
I can’t tell how well you know their preferences, but unless you know what they eat and drink I would stay away from food gifts. My husband has some pretty wide and firm dietary restrictions which make sweets of any kind a non-starter. And, even with two kids in the house, that sort of thing falls pretty flat as a gift here. It is March and we still have several things from the professional gift baskets he receives at Christmas in our treats basket in the pantry. It’s fine and he doesn’t mind it, but it definitely wouldn’t be the fun wedding gift you are going for.
My favorite gifts are the necessities but of a quality or fussiness we wouldn’t buy ourselves. William and Sonoma napkins with the initial from our last name embroidered on them have been an enduring gift. They are a neutral color and are always the ones I give guests. High quality bed sheets were used constantly until the elastic finally gave. I have bought a luxe throw for the couch, big enough for two, that was well received.
And then we have a foodie friend who, knowing we like to cook too, periodically gifts us really nice kitchen tools that end up being favorites. Food 52 is a good source of inspiration there.
My favorite thing to give as gifts for people that I’m not local to is plants or flowers. I like to look up a flower farm or garden center near them, then order either a flower arrangement or a potted plant arrangement to be delivered to them.
Oh, another thing I like to give, especially specifically as part of a wedding gift is GIR spatulas, which definitely in the “REALLY GOOD version of something normal” category. https://www.gir.co/collections/spatulas/
Also, a Thermopop cooking thermometer, because it works really well, isn’t super expensive, makes cooking temperature specific things SO MUCH EASIER and yet it seems like people rarely own a cooking thermometer. https://www.thermoworks.com/thermopop/
I LOVE my thermopop cooking thermometer!!! That’s such a great gift idea!
Our most fun thing from that time was something we bought ourselves, a Cuisinart ice cream maker. I think we saw it when we were registering at Bed Bath and Beyond and just couldn’t wait!
Funniest gift – my uncle came to our wedding, and showed my mom the swiffer-type broom he had gotten for us, which he was apparently excited about. Except….he never gave it to us? My mom thinks she may have seen him putting it back into his car. If we did anything to offend him, we have no idea what it is. And you can’t exactly ask, right? So it will forever be one of those wedding mysteries.
Best gift – nice towels are definitely always a good idea. The ones my grandmother got me are just starting to wear out.
One of my favorite gifts was a really nice straw style beach bag. Would work as a package with a few fun beach towels. I always got compliments on it and I just parted with it after 1 years of use.
My favorite wedding gift was a waffle maker. For years, we were more likely to make weekend waffles than pancakes. When friends came to brunch, there were probably waffles. I could totally have bought a waffle maker without getting married, but I didn’t.
A weddingy Swistle Care Package seems like just the thing, and do include some GS cookies, since that is obviously what you want to do (reading between the lines here lol).
-My favorite gift received was a colorful assortment of napkins off our registry, with a sweet note from the mom of the kids I babysat for years about how they love to set their table with colorful napkins. We still have the napkins and they often remind me of the nice note. Also, one of my cousins got our wedding invitation framed, which was so lovely.
-A favorite gift I gave was a copy of The Joy of Cooking, wrapped with a mini whisk tied into the bow. Cute AND useful.
-Least favorite/worst, hmm. My husband gave a spite gift once, when he thought his friend’s registry was ridiculous, that is, he bought the dumbest thing off the registry (a decorative tissue box cover). This turned out to be prophetic when the couple got divorced due to dramatic infidelity.
-What I would give a grown-ass cousin with a house… I love your idea of including rainbow window crystals in a care package, because it’s nice to have something lasting (and I love rainbow window crystals).
Hell yes, rainbow makers are the best.
When my husband and I got married, we didn’t really have much of a registry because we knew we were going to have to move 3 times in the next 2 years, so we weren’t interested in acquiring a lot of stuff. So instead, my college friends got together and coordinated to gift us a year of “dates”–a gift certificate for the chef’s tasting menu of a restaurant that probably would have been out of our budget, tickets to a show at a theater in one of the cities we lived in, a gift certificate for mini-golf, etc. It was the absolute sweetest thing. For a whole year after our wedding, we got to have these experiences to look forward to, and I loved texting my friends “We just went out to eat/finished mini-golfing/etc., had a wonderful time, and thought of you.” It felt like the wedding celebration extended, and I have the fondest memories of that time.
$100 will get you two champagne flutes wrapped beautifully in a Tiffany blue box.
https://www.tiffany.com/accessories/barware/champagne-flute-set-67467345/
Maybe important to note that when I’m not sure what to get, I like to buy something that is highly regiftable!
I still use the Cake Stand with Dome Lid that turns into a Veggie Platter/punch bowl all the time.
My SIL framed our wedding invitation. That never would have occurred to me to do. We still keep the framed invitation in our bedroom.
Ha. This reminds me of a funny not- argument, but disagreement I had with my mother after my wedding. I received a nice, large frame not on a registry. The giver had replaced the stock photograph with a cute print out of famous couples. I specifically remember Romeo & Juliet and Lady & The Tramp. I printed out a photo from the wedding and hung the frame up. I still have it on my wall two moves later. Mom insisted the giver expected me to hang the frame with the print out of couples. Mom was convinced it was art. I was convinced it was a creative, personal way to gift a frame. Mom got adamant about it, “Humph, I can never tell her you aren’t using her gift.” It ended when I pointed out the frame was on my wall being used and that as the intended recipient, I could use the gift how I saw fit and that, if that was art, it was ugly art I never would hang, so I was using the frame. I still occasionally see the gift giver, but my mom was so insistent I’m not going to ask her to settle the dispute. 😂
My go-to wedding gifts are a Simon Pearce hand blown glass cake stand or a Garnet Hill cashmere throw.
That frame story is fascinating! That said, I am convinced that your interpretation is correct. My guess is that the stock photo was something inappropriate for a wedding (like a BABY!), and so, the gift-giver remade it to be weddingish/couple-ish in a fun way and certainly intended for you to put in a photo of your own choosing.
And also, in your shoes, if I still had the gift-giver’s homemade “stock” art, I’d frame that in a dollar store or other inexpensive frame and put it somewhere not-too-prominent (mud room? powder room?) for kicks.
The more I think about it, the more I like what that gift-giver did! So clever and sweet.
Your gift ideas sound lovely and really fun! Just in case you’re still mulling ideas, my sister and her partner sound similar-ish to your cousin: 30s, owns a house, weekly hangouts with friends at a local microbrewery (pre-pandemic). They’ve been a huge fan of experience-type gifts, but that’s been harder during by the pandemic. They’ve started doing some subscriptions instead, and really enjoyed it. Ones they’ve highlighted as especially big hits have been a microbrews of the world, and also an escape room game subscription (the games are physical board/card game puzzles, not in person). (My sister also did a tea one she loved.) Other posters have suggested similar subscription/ sampler ideas, and I thought I’d nth the suggestion.
My favorite gift received are the All-Clad measuring cups and spoons we received from friends. So elegant, so expensive, so lovely to touch, and so useful to have a 1/4C pot I can actually use on the stove to melt butter. I am actively grateful to those friends several times a day.
In the same vein, a good fish spatula (also the best for cookies), the top-reviewed iron/vacuum/tool on Wirecutter, and very good sheets or towels.
I love this happy thread and reliving the joy of giving and getting wedding gifts. Among the best wedding presents we received: a fancy electric tea kettle which we use for tea, french press, and even boiling water for pasta. Among the least favorite gifts were very generous items that were just not our taste (an ornate crystal vase, a clunky artisan seder plate). A fun gift that I would love to have gotten is a selection of pints from Jeni’s ice cream. They ship their amazing and creative ice cream all over the country. I love the idea of gifting ice cream makers and other fun gadgets, but I’d be cautious with this stuff, in case their home is small and/or has limited storage.
Worst gift: a few shelf-stable meals from a MLM company my husband’s uncle was into. I understood the thought – quick meals when you don’t want to bother, but they were TERRIBLE! Some time later his aunt apologized profusely for sending them because at the time they had not tried them themselves, but when they did realized they were TERRIBLE! I had actually mailed one to a friend as a gag gift. So bad.
Nice knives are so good! High-quality heatproof spatulas are also lovely.
The first wedding gift we re-homed (after agonized swithering over whether it was appropriate to toss wedding gifts) was a gigantic ceramic citrus juicer – I think it was maybe intended to be wall art, like how you hang pans on walls, but it was *heavy* and also not very functional as a juicer, so it went to the church garage sale and someone who liked its aesthetic now has it and we all win. :-)
But yes, consumables or definite normal-stuff upgrades are good, when people are already established (but you want to be sure that the upgrade *is* an upgrade, and every once in a while things will misfire even then; not for a wedding, but I gave my mom a nice knife because all of hers were blunt, and she didn’t bother opening it and trying it out. It was still in its packaging in her knife drawer three years later.)(and sometimes people already *have* the upgrade, or the upgrade isn’t an upgrade for them because they like the other thing better – there are thin-towel people and thick-towel people, and people have specific sheet-texture preferences – and that sort of thing. So maybe make sure those things are returnable?)
Funniest moment might have been when, having registered for shallow sauce dishes (for lemon curd and jam at tea parties!!!) I opened them up at a shower, with the person giving them having just purchased them unseen, then gift wrapped, and the entire room of mostly born-in-the-50s/60s people, including the person who bought them, thought that something had gone horribly wrong and I had been given a set of ash trays. (they were shallow, curved-triangle-shape, and ceramic, so I see how the confusion arose! But: they are perfect as tea party serving dishes for jam, etc. and they go with everything. And no one thinks they look like ash trays when they’re full of lemon curd, although maybe if they were used for cinnamon sugar, it might be perplexing…)
I also dearly love my microplane and my pepper grinder. Such an upgrade from pre-ground pepper and from the “zest” side of those four-sided cheese grater things!
My favorite registered-for wedding gift was a Le Creuset Dutch oven that I use multiple times a week 10 years later. Quite spendy though – but that’s why I love it, because I wouldn’t have bought it for myself, especially 10 years ago.
Favorite not-asked-for gift was a decorative plate from a local potter that has a forest scene including a tree with our initials and wedding date. It’s hanging as wall art.
Decorative things are tricky though because we also got a LOT of not-asked-for random decorative things and have either gotten rid of a lot of them or they are gathering dust in a closet because they are too personalized to get rid of.
Moral: steer clear of personalized things unless you know their taste very well.
Oof this is a tough one for me to mentally break down. Because one of my first thoughts was ‘did they elope in part to avoid the registry?’ I am a person who loves to buy gifts and takes great pride in the right thing for the right person… but I also *hate* being given things that aren’t my taste or that I won’t use. I hate the waste, that people have spent money on something I won’t keep, I feel huge guilt about *not* keeping things but equally have a small house and very specific taste. And then I feel a bit resentful but now this ‘gift’ is something I now have to deal with and re-home.
So if I didn’t know someone well enough to be sure I would gift them something they love or will use, I would go down the money route. But let’s assume that’s out – and I do see why it doesn’t appeal!
What about a monthly subscription box to something? Alcohol, coffee, chocolate, fancy teas? Or alternatively a gift voucher to a local (to them) restaurant or spa? I personally love the idea of giving people an experience they’d remember. But I also think the Christmas ornaments is a lovely thought.
Oh but I also love the idea of gifting a tree or a plant for their garden (or an indoor plant if they don’t have outdoor space).
Oh and one of our most loved ‘off registry’ wedding gifts was a pair of lovely high quality keep cups. We use them All The Time in the summer for iced lattes on the go when we’re wrangling the kids out for walks and park trips on warm days.
My go-to gifts:
1. Big monogrammed LL Bean or Lands End tote with a beach blanket inside.
2. The beautiful pottery from Bennington Potters. I either give the pie plate or the heart shaped baker with the smaller heart shaped crock inside. They are endlessly useful for baking and for setting out snacks and chips and dip.
https://www.benningtonpotters.com/product/centerpiece-pie-pan
https://www.benningtonpotters.com/product/large-heart-baker
https://www.benningtonpotters.com/product/heart-baker-bowl
I rushed to the comments because when we married in 1999 H and I received a ceramic wine tote from the 1970s that had clearly been sitting in its box in someone’s basement for decades (like the shape of the tote was permanently imbedded in the bottom of the box). We could have been insulted, but instead we found it completely hilarious.
It looks like this and is so completely 70s that it cracks me up nearly 23 years later (we still have it)
https://a.1stdibscdn.com/mid-century-modern-hartstone-pottery-bisque-ceramic-the-wine-tote-set-of-2-for-sale-picture-5/f_8863/f_170766611575150421629/02_master.jpg?width=768
Also we lived together before we got married (at age 30) and one of my favorite gifts was a really nice, soft set of sheets. I know sheets can be personal but they were so much nicer than any other sheets we had that I loved them (we could have returned them for a different color etc but they were fine).
I’m glad you included the pic because I couldn’t imagine what a ceramic 70s wine tote even looked like and now I am dying laughing about this. I hope it was 70s asparagus-puke green!!
Someone got us a personalized small tray with our names and wedding date that is a perfect little tray to keep in the bathroom and put our rings in when we wash our hands and go to sleep. I’ve been married 12 years and still love it…it’s something I will keep forever.
Best gift we didn’t register for: a fruit colander from a local potter. Also a beautiful carving board (for roasts and whatnot, with a wide trough for the juices to flow into.
I give OXO kitchen gadgets (their salt and pepper mill is AMAZING)
Every Christmas, my parents give us a big box of assorted items from Eataly and it’s just the best.
My other parents have given us a cheese of the month club and it was so good, we gave it to ourselves when they switched to giving us money.
Oh! One personalized wedding gift we still use all the time is a cake cutter engraved with our wedding date. (From my sister, we cut our wedding cake with it.)
I haven’t been to a wedding in awhile either! I used to like to get one thing off the list and then create a basket. You registered for ice cream dishes? Here they are with spoons and also some fancy syrups and a bunch of sprinkles. That kind of thing.
I think without a registry, I might do some kind of charcuterie board thing. Those are so popular right now and it would be fun to get a big board with some little ramekins and crackers and stuff like that.
Are they the type to go to a zoo, aquearium, or museum? A membership for a year to one of those places. Consumables are nice too, my sister has gotten me a 3 month membership to Universal Yums each Christmas for the past couple years. If they don’t have a registry they may not want more ‘stuff’.
A Le Creuset casserole dish, the kind with the lid, is a solid gift.
I think fondly of my friend every time I use my food scale. It was a gift along with a bread raising basket (I’m blanking on the name… it’s the wooden basket) and a bread cookbook. A really nice kitchen scale and a baking cookbook turns it from “you might be dieting” to “fun baking gift!!”
We use our burr coffee grinder (Capresso brand) every day. That was an amazing gift.
I think nice towels are always a good idea. I like Turkish towels, personally. And those are nice for travel, picnics, and are more of a multi-use item than a super fluffy (and delicious) terry cloth towel.
One of our friends gave us a pair of margarita glasses–one with orange stripes, one with blue, which were our wedding colors. They are really fun, and I think of them whenever we use them, and it makes me happy.
Hmm, I guess with an elopement it’s hard to do wedding colors, but STILL. The glasses themselves are fun.
We finally bought a nice carving-cutting board (whatever the cooks illustrated recommendation is) and we’ve been married for almost 15 years. We absolutely could have bought one earlier, but it felt so expensive that we kept buying cheap ones that split and/or the juice troughs were lacking in capacity so they overflowed. Same situation with pans; I’ve slowly been replacing our crappy but functional pans with le creuset or all clad. If you can find old cast iron that would also be a fun gift (although probably too expensive to ship) because they last several lifetimes and the old ones were sanded after being cast. I have a couple we were given when a family member was downsizing and they’re my favorite skillets.
I also liked gifting bakeware when we had more weddings in our circle although that was easier when they had a registry to see what they thought they wanted at the time.
I love the idea of a family recipe on an item. I would also enjoy fun consumable things – Penzey’s spices, Uncommon Goods often has fun things (consumable kits, but also keepsake journal-y type things, etc), See’s candy.
I would stay away from all things monogrammed. Someone gifted us a very nice photo album, but had our names engraved on it and they used our nicknames but didn’t check with anyone closer to us to find out how I spell mine (several common variations, not like creative spellings) and they chose the wrong spelling. We haven’t managed to get rid of it, but we also don’t use it because it’s not me. If you’re going to have anything monogrammed or engraved, I’d error on the side of full first names or first initials of first names if you can’t bear to skip the personalization.
My favorite wedding present that we received was a wooden step stool. It was not on our registry, but we use it all the time. My son currently uses it as his cello bench and it’s been so helpful around the house.
We did a non-traditional registry (i.e., we posted a registry online of things we needed/wanted rather than going to specific stores and registering) because we’d both lived on our own long enough that we’d accumulated most of the typical things you’d find in Bed, Bath & Beyond or whatever. This led MOST people to throw up their hands and give us money, but the rest split between getting something off the registry or giving us something they just wanted to give us.
Turns out I never would have asked for but absolutely love and use whenever I can the dishes people got us for entertaining. This included things like a Waterford crystal ice bucket (I served Froot Loops out of it one year for my daughter’s birthday brunch), a couple of chaffing dishes, and two ceramic serving platters: one two-tiered, and one with six little removable dishes that’s perfect for serving things like nuts, olives, pickles, berries, assorted candy, etc. I am not a person who entertains, but when I do – or even when it’s just a special occasion for our family alone – I LOVE having something fancy to present stuff on. One Mother’s Day, my husband pulled all of the dishes out and served me a breakfast tea on them. They have gotten so much use, and I would never purchase them myself (well … NOW I would, since I know how much I use them).
Things that did not last/stick for us as useful include a deep fryer and a waffle iron.
Things I would get if I were buying a wedding gift: probably cast iron. My sister included a small pan in a “grab bag of things you might need” gift at my wedding shower. I didn’t think I liked cast iron, so I didn’t use it much, but my husband has, and after all these years, it’s become my favorite pan in the house. We’ve added substantially to our collection, but I would start with something similar to what my sister got us (maybe a 7 or 8 inch pan?) because it works great for eggs or cooking something for two.
It’s a bit unexciting but my boss gifted me a simple, somewhat expensive, lovely flower vase for my wedding and I still love it. I seldom buy or receive flowers but when I do I feel so happy to bring out one of the nicest things that I own. This would be a bit hard to pull off at a distance but I thought I’d contribute to the conversation!
This is indeed a fun thread. However, I now wonder is I gave committed a faux pas or am the stingiest person alive! My brother eloped last year, and it never once occurred to me to send a gift. I figured no wedding invite means no gift? I am super happy for him and his wife, and sad I didn’t get to go to a wedding. They live in a different country than me, so maybe I should give them something next time I see them.
That’s a good point, what is the etiquette even on giving gifts for an elopement?
Favorite wedding gift asked for & received from my mom, was 4 Oak TV trays with stand from Crate & Barrel. We were already living together & had oak furniture, so this was perfect. We still use them today & it’s going on 32 years. Favorite wedding gifts not asked for, was the “Bride & Groom” Gnomes figurine & the electric wok. We wanted a traditional wok we could use on the stove, but once we finally bought one, we never used it. We continued to use the electric one instead.
Worst gifts received were a couple things that we never used. Two of them, a square electric fry pan & an expensive crystal oval picture frame, were finally donated to charity last year when we moved.
I got a big heavy crystal frame too. And my heart was not broken at all when it fell off/was knocked off the sideboard when the dog lost his footing the slid into it.
One of the wedding gifts I received that I still think of fondly to this day was a Breakfast in Bed Kit. My friend bought a nice breakfast tray and included a recipe book called “Breakfast in Bed”, cloth napkins, two small plates and *I think* either champagne flutes or tea cups. It felt really romantic and sweet. It also got a lot of oohs and ahhh’s from guests when I opened it.
It would be fun to do something similar a Date Night Kit with a charcuterie board and wine glasses. You can buy customized charcuterie boards on Etsy and engrave with “Swistle and Paul – February 14, 2022”.
I just looked and saw Amazon is still selling the Breakfast in Bed book 20 years later! It has a really pretty cover – very weddingish. https://www.amazon.com/Breakfast-Bed-Recipes-Creative-Indulgences/dp/0002250985/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3BSMBG5BJD725&keywords=breakfast+in+bed+book&qid=1647241110&sprefix=breakfast+in+bed+book%2Caps%2C326&sr=8-2
One of my favorite gifts to receive was a set of 12 glass Christmas ornaments. What made them even better is that when my daughter was about 3, she accidentally broke my favorite green one, and to try and make it up to me she cut out and colored a green paper ornament to take its place. Now THAT is one of my very favorite ornaments. Such a sweet memory.
One thing I got as a wedding present I loved was a cookbook the giver used often with favorite recipes noted on a Post-It along with suggested alterations. That person also gave us a lovely decorative wooden bowl (I suppose one could use it for salad, but I don’t do salad, so decorative it is!).
I might give a candle-of-the-month subscription (if I knew the recipient liked scents ok) from Frostbeard Studios. Their candles are quite different from the typical and literary-themed, but you don’t have to appreciate the literary allusions to enjoy the scents.
I’m a coffee drinker, and I know you are too. I might give the coffeemaker you/I both have–what a great coffeemaker! I might also give a Baratza burr grinder (again, if the recipient were into coffee). Those purchases are things that one doesn’t just accumulate, and are SUCH life upgrades. Ooh, or a set of coffee storage tins for beans and little scoops and maybe a scale for weighing beans? They definitely don’t drink coffee, do they? hahahaha
I know this is exactly what you did not ask for, but sharing for others. We got an extremely meaningful cash gift from someone, which was maybe five or six checks in varying amounts that had in the little re line the name of a local restaurant and the amount varied appropriately . The giver (a single male!) also included menus for each, maps to each one from our house, and information on why he chose them. We were moving to a new city and he gave us, for example, a $10 check for a local ice cream parlor, $15 to use at a bagel place, $25 for a fun soup sandwich shop, $75 for a nice restaurant and maybe $20 for a pastry shop. It was the most thoughtful way to give cash and I wanted to share it for others who may be considering the same.
We eloped (at 31&34) and it was a second marriage for my husband, so we did not get a lot of gifts but we LOVE the bow knife. We’ve since given these to many people and the reaction is the same every time and the same as ours: initial puzzlement, like what do you even DO with this? Followed by oh my gosh this is the best thing ever and how did we ever slice bread or tomatoes or etc etc without it?
https://www.smokymountainbowknife.com/
Thank you to the people who mentioned terrible/mysterious gifts.
We registered for china and crystal and I have spent the decades since our wedding getting right of the other stuff we were given. If only these people had had enclosed a gift receipt (ideally from Crate & Barrel).
A local celebrity once recommended giving a vase “because everyone loves fresh flowers!” I guess she was not aware that when you buy a vase it doesn’t come with fresh flowers?
Around here, a lot of local wine shops deliver (as does the big Total chain), so maybe that’s an option? I don’t think it costs much/anything, and if delivery is inconvenient, someone could pick it up.
I was just the other day wondering if our next-door neighbours’ (and good friends’) daughter who has a long-term really nice boyfriend might be getting married in the future and we might be invited and the thought made me really happy. I was going to say fuzzy blankets are always a great gift, but the matching Comfys idea is even better. I agree completely about not sending money – I am always touched when someone takes the time to choose a gift for me, even if it’s not something I love and want to keep forever. All of my favourite wedding gifts (really nice clock, good food processor that I use nearly thirty years later) were good because we were just starting out and had almost nothing and also it was the nineties when clocks were still a thing. I also love the nice towels idea, because I love nice towels but somehow never get around to buying them for myself.
My fave was a gift of 2 nice bottles of wine – one with a tag saying “1st Anniversary” and one saying “25th Anniversary.” I might change that one to 10th – it’s hard to keep track of in moves to keep cellared correctly, but I did like the assumption that we’d stay together that long haha!
I gave my sister a laser cut map/artwork of the lake we grew up on as artwork for their new home together. https://lakeart.com/
I also like the idea of something sort of alcohol-related? A really cute set of cocktail or wine glasses, maybe with cute engravings on them?
I always say that a house can never have too many clocks. Although now with so many household devices like Alexa, maybe analog wall clocks that you have to set by hand are a thing of the past.
Also, https://society6.com/ is an site I love to shop, where you can buy all types of wall art, prints, throw blankets, comforters, pillows, clocks, apparel, phone cases, yoga mats, etc….all in so many different styles of art. I can spend hours there. Love it.
Oh I have a good one! My husband and I received a large, oval-shaped, polished, marble-ish quartz-ish bowl that we started calling Rock Bowl.
At the time, I was really not excited about this gift — it is large and heavy, and we moved a lot in the early years of our marriage; it is not practical, because you cannot wash it with soap or put anything scratchy or citrus (?) or reactive in it; honestly I don’t even know what you ARE supposed to do with it; it is fragile and breakable; also did I mention we moved a million times and schlepped it around to multiple different states, up and down the stairs, etc. etc.
Of course — you see where this is going — now I love Rock Bowl. It has served many different purposes in many different homes of ours, including a repository for mail we have yet to open, and now is the place where I stash stuff I’m giving away to friends or on a listserv. It is a beautiful object that I didn’t appreciate when I first got, but now it reminds me of all the place we’ve lived. And I feel like it’s come into its own with a place of honor in our current house.
Am I suggesting you get these people a large, heavy, fragile, useless object? Maybe! It’s just so lovely, and something I’d never buy myself.
Far too late to this awesome party! Here’s the story of my favorite gift I’ve given. In high school, I worked at the public library and my co-worker invited me to his wedding. I remember it being really sweet. The bride was blind and her guide dog was the flower girl. I gave them a set of wind chimes. Years later I went and got those same wind chimes with some of the wedding cash my husband and I were given. They still sound beautiful and it reminds me of that couple, years after I’ve even forgotten their names.
My much younger brother is engaged, but they haven’t set a date yet. I’ll peruse all the suggestions above, but since our father is kind of using the promise of partially funding the wedding to justify changing it almost completely from what they actually want, I think my wedding gift will end up being contributing significantly to the wedding itself so they can do it their way.
In the meantime, I am getting a lot of amusement out of the things that come up in conversation that they say “oh, we totally need one of those!” to which I can reply “you know, you can REGISTER for stuff like it!” yet they poo poohed the idea of registering when it first came up. The only one I remember for sure is a good electric kettle that lets you set the temperature and then tells you what the current temperature is as it heats up. And it came up because I finally decided I should just get myself one instead of waiting for my indestructible, 25-year-old plastic kettle to stop working.