That last post was such a bummer considering how many good things there are:
• All five kids at home, staying up late playing games together, merry laughter and merry swearing
• THREE of the kids are getting Covid booster shots tomorrow (the remaining two kids are not yet eligible)
• More Christmas cards than usual this year
• SO MANY DELICIOUS CHRISTMAS TREATS IN THE HOUSE
• Mayyyybe some Christmas clearance shopping in the near future?
• A pair of jeans Elizabeth wanted for Christmas was TOO BIG—but I despaired about exchanging them, because when I’d ordered them, they’d ONLY been available in that size (which I’d thought was SO LUCKY because it was HER SIZE)—but when I looked again after Christmas, they were also available in the two next sizes down, so I was able to exchange them, and they are on their way
• A new baby coming to our extended family in the new year
• I finally feel like I am not run off my feet with busyness/stress, and there is time again to play Candy Crush and read books and not resent everyone in my household
• Even though my recent motel stay was…not great, cleanliness-wise, and it appears that’s not a rare experience these days, I am still looking forward to my upcoming trip to take Rob back to college in a couple of weeks
• Unasked, Paul took my car to have snow tires put on it, which involved a fair amount of Figuring Out How To Do That, since we’ve never done that before, and also involved Researching the Best Snow Tires and price-checking them at various locations and then ordering them, and then involved TWO HOURS of waiting even though he’d made an appointment
• Also unasked, he ordered a timered plug for the Christmas lights, so that they would come on automatically and go off automatically; and he set it up so that they would come on a little too early and go off a little too late, which is exactly perfect; this improved the quality of my life
Also, New Year’s Eve is coming! I love New Year’s Eve! But thank goodness I made a note that LAST New Year’s Eve it felt as if I was running back and forth between the living room and the kitchen with snacks while everyone else relaxed and enjoyed themselves, because that COULD NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. Instead, this year I am buying a bunch of things that anyone here can help put out on a table in the living room (Pringles, grapes and whatever other fruits look good, the frosted animal crackers that somehow became a tradition, M&Ms, Doritos, Ruffles and baby carrots and French onion dip, bakery bread and spinach dip, cheese and crackers), and I am only going to make a few Oven Things that I personally want: Totino’s pizza rolls, mini eggs rolls, and mozzarella sticks (IF we can find any! the past two weeks our grocery store has had NO MOZZARELLA STICKS OF ANY BRAND). If anyone wants anything else, they can feel free to make it themselves.
Do you want to talk about holiday loot—like, good gifts you received? Not that that is the true meaning of anything. But on the other hand, loot is fun!
We skipped gifts this year because we are taking a BIG trip in 2022 that costs BIG money! And it was GLORIOUS.
But, my husband found the idea of giftless Christmas very upsetting and went online and ordered me a sweater and when I opened it and looked at it, the size was VERY WRONG and I felt sad that I wouldn’t be able to wear the illicit gift, but then I put it on and it was exactly right and very warm and felt like a hug. It was a very good gift for a giftless Christmas.
I also put a punny t-shirt in the teenagers stocking and got A LOT of joy out of that.
I would love to talk about gifts! I got a super luxurious face lotion that I have lusted after but would never buy myself and I am SO HAPPY!
I got a gorgeous handpainted hummingbird mug that I just love. And my 10 year old is almost positive that Santa’s not real, but he thinks it’s hilarious trying to catch me out, so I’m so relieved it’s not stressful.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/888393055/handmade-coffee-mug-guatemalan-mug-hand?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=hand+painted+coffee+mugs&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&tr_rank=2&organic_search_click=1&pro=1&frs=1
I bookmarked this Etsy dealer because I liked your mug so much. Earlier this morning, one of my favorite mugs was broken (possibly by one of my kids? idk, I wasn’t there), and I am SO GLAD that I have this one queued up as a replacement!
I’m so happy to hear that things aren’t completely terrible!
In terms of holiday loot, here are some highlights:
*New TV (actually money for a TV, because it would be quite the logistical challenge to bring an entire TV back to Ireland with me)
*Lots of warm clothes to wear in my usually-freezing apartment
*Ugg boots (very 2007 of me, but see previous bullet point about my freezing apartment)
*Nintendo gift card to buy games for my Switch, because I am apparently 12 years old
*New insulated water bottle to replace the one I lost a few months ago (not very exciting but it has significantly improved my quality of life)
*Board games! Love Letter, Scrabble (which somehow neither I nor anyone in my immediate family already had), Between Two Cities, Silver and Gold, Mysterium, and Splendor. So far we’ve tried (and loved) the first three, and I have high hopes for the rest. Most were recommended and/or given to us by my board-game-loving cousin.
*A copy of The Family Fang, from the Swistle book giveaway! I don’t know if it counts as a Christmas gift, but it was wrapped and arrived pretty close to Christmas, so I’m counting it.
Sharing the good and the bad is your tagline! Lean into it! Xoxo
I struggled with the holidays again this year, and exhaustion and oh so much resentment. Like, reevaluating all my life decisions levels of crap. One thing I super did not have time for was taking each kid on an individual shopping trip for our immediate family, yet I am so glad I did, because what they picked out for us and each other was by far the highlight of Xmas. I know the selfishness/empathy pendulum will always be swinging, because maturing is not linear, ET TO THE CETERA…but they all did a great, age-appropriately thoughtful job. And also, I got delightful gifts that I will actually use, which is definitely not the way many holidays go. (Sbux cards, NEW BOOKS, warm winter hat, cool shirt that fits?!!!!, nice smelling candle, my favorite candy bar)
I loved this bullet point list. Thanks for sharing. How smart were you to make a list about New Year’s Eve? “hey, future self . . . ”
I was not thrilled to have to make ANOTHER big meal because we were on our own again for Christmas. I will say that having just the 8 of us together ended up being very cozy ad we laughed all day long. It was a chill day and we made lots of memories playing family games.
Coach and I didn’t exchange gifts because we just put new siding on the house. He doesn’t shop so I usually get myself something and wrap it up and pretend to be surprised for the kids. I honestly preferred crediting the non-gift giving to a big purchase, because I do find shopping for myself sort of sad. We thought about gifting the kids with travel this year and decided against it a week before Christmas so buying for all 6 kids at the last minutes was more busy than I’d like my almost Christmas days to be, but they were all delighted with their gifts. That was so pleasing.
My birthday is on Thursday and almost no one outside of the people who live with me remembers except my siblings/parents, but I can usually get the kids to clean the house and Coach usually takes me to my favorite restaurant for dinner, so I get to look forward to a clean-ish house soon.
Hey! My birthday is on Thursday, too! Happy Birthday, Birthday buddy! :)
New Year’s Eve is my favorite!
Gifts wise, my best friend got me a notebook that says: I need stronger swear words for this job… I work in HR LOL. Also, a set of coasters with coffee related messages. Small gifts usually are the ones I enjoy the most.
We celebrated with my parents yesterday and I got new sheets and an electric blanket. I put them on today and I can not wait to go to bed tonight!!
Light timers are TEH BEST, especially in the dark of the year, but really for accent lighting in general. Otherwise I want the lights on, but never turn them on, because it’s too much trouble and so is turning them off. As soon as the (timered) Christmas trees come down I am putting up a string of (timered) Darkness Lights. At our previous house these lights went up in November when things started to get dreary, but in our new house I put a tree in the window where I would put the Darkness Lights, and I didn’t want to make them share.
As for gifts, I got the Pukka tea calendar that I think was recommended here, and it is delightful, but all the teas so far smell/taste like fennel/licorice, which is fine when they contain those ingredients, but confusing/disappointing when they do not. Well. I will be pleasantly herbally hydrated going forward.
I had a baby on Christmas Eve!
Amazing! Congratulations!! I had a Christmas-adjacent baby 7 years ago. The birthday comes with its challenges but it’s still super fun and special. Welcome to the world, little one!
Congratulations!
BEST GIFT
Your gift wins! Congratulationson your new baby!
How wonderful!
Congratulations! You know we love to hear about baby names around here….,,
Congrats! What a wonderful Christmas gift.
I got nice slippers (nice slippers is my love language) and a percussion massager because I’m old and fancy lounge pants (barefoot dreams). And the best present was that I asked for binoculars (we live off a lake and I want to be able to look at the ducks and alligators) and Matt got me binoculars but he got me FOUR pairs because I have three children and he said if I had fewer than four pairs, I would never get to look through them.
Matt is very smart.
he really seems to be. that’s awesome.
Also, I hope you see all sorts of really cool things through them (and everyone else does too)
My loot included 5 hardcover books that came out in 2021. Four were ones I wanted to read but wouldn’t buy for myself for various reasons (one is a badly written, guilty pleasure beach read I know I’ll enjoy, one is a collection of essays by a model that I only wanted to read because she’s so pretty and I wanted to know if she had a brain, two were “too short to waste money on a hardcover”). The rest of my loot was supplies I needed to start doing linocut prints, which I want to try in my Etsy shop this year. I’m very happy with my gifts this year. 🥰
Thanks to your rec, I put on my Wish List and got that Biddeford heated blanket and I love it! I also got a pair of battery-powered heated socks, ha!! I’m always cold in this house so those 2 gifts were awesome. Got a S’bux gift card and a book I’d been wanting in hardcover – pretty much a perfect Christmas re: gifts!
Having a tiny, tiny family means very little loot – there’s just me, my two teenage daughters (one technically no longer a teenager, she turned 20 on the 27th), my ex and my very elderly dad who has dementia (and so doesn’t do gifts). My dad is also in Scotland (we’re in the south of France) and Covid stuff meant we had to cancel our trip. We now haven’t seen him for over 2 years and I’m not sure how much longer he’ll even know who we are..
So. Christmas was me and my daughters. I received two comic books (one from each), and a weird essential oil thing from my ex even though essential oils are dangerous for pets (and he knows that. Maybe he just hates my cats…). That’s it.
I sound mean and ungrateful, I know, but Christmas has always been my least favourite holiday (lonely, only child, miserable when I was a kid, fraught as an adult), so I’m really just glad it’s over. NYE will be just me and my younger daughter, probably watching something on Netflix while eating take-out (I hate cooking – our Christmas meal was quite hassly enough, even for just 3 of us).
Would now like to fast forward to spring, because I hate winter!
This makes me want to FIND A SOLUTION. There must be so many people with tiny families for one reason or another, and wouldn’t it be great to have some website where people could sign up to send/receive with others in the same pickle? Presents would come to you, and you could put them under the tree and not know what they were, and you would have more to open on Christmas! And maybe other people could sign up to JUST send—like, I would really ENJOY sending a gift or two, but don’t need to receive any.
I am in a Secret Santa for a FB group I’m a member of (it’s very… niche, I guess… Translators with Cats :-D), so I did actually receive a couple of other parcels (though both arrived early December and I couldn’t wait to open them), but the contents, while lovely, are usually very cat focused, which isn’t surprising, and is indeed fun to open, but isn’t very “for me” (there is, to be fair, nearly always some kind of chocolate/local-to-the-sender delicacy). But I loved preparing my own parcels to send – one to Belgium, one to Italy – and it’s always, always nice to receive a surprise box of goodies (even if they’re mostly cat treats). Oh, and we all post photos in the group, and that’s lovely to see too.
I guess I’m just a bit of a Grinch when it comes to Christmas…
But your idea is a wonderful one, and one that definitely merits thinking about… There must be so many people who actually spend Christmas alone (I mean, I wasn’t actually alone at all after all) who would probably love a random gift from a stranger…
I believe Swistle already has a solution: a care package delivery business. People sign up, send Swistle money and Swistle carefully selects a care package to send.
There are a lot of Secret Santa exchanges online, although you need to find one that matches what you want to give and what you want to receive and you also need to be open to things not quite fitting. (which is part of why I like giving and do not like receiving: I am allergic to most of the perfumes in things, and have food issues as well, and my feet are too long for standard socks, and I don’t wear jewelry, so…)
There is an interesting model that Yarn Harlot has set up: when people donate to the charity, she has Karmic Balancing Gifts – basically, people sign up to send things [mostly yarn] to a random person who gave to the charity, and she pulls a name out of a hat-of-charity-donor-names for each thing and it is sent to that person. (see example “here is how things matched up” post: https://www.yarnharlot.ca/2013/05/karmic_balancin/ )
Jenny Lawson does an amazon giftlist thing for people who need things for their kids for Christmas, although it got semi-eaten by scammers and had to morph to be more scammer-resistant. But I think scammers would be less enthused about Random Care Packages than about Getting Things They Can Return To Amazon For Cash?
Anyway. Yes. I suggest that anyone who thinks they would like to send presents but does not have a platform: think of the people you already know or are acquainted with, and do any of them maybe need a good January Surprise? Rough year, health issues, isolated, elderly, lost a loved one? Send!
(and if you do have a platform, then you could take nominations and match people who want to give to people who either need a boost or who know someone who needs a boost. But it would be a lot of administration, I suspect. But so cool.)
Spouse just buys off my list, which is fine.
My oldest kid is a senior in college and he went out on his own to buy presents. He did a great job with mine (a book and an ornament in my favorite Christmas motif — the tree in the red pickup) without any guidance.
And he does great Christmas lists where he asks for a general sort of thing and then I get to do the hunting and picking.
The really great thing is that my minimalist, lone banana of a kid asked if we could all go get ice cream at a place where I guess we usually do go at some point during the holiday, but I’d never paid it much mind. But to him it is a Christmas Thing, and we went, and it was nice.
My amazing kids conspired together to FILL MY STOCKING this year, my first Christmas without my husband. They went down my Amazon wish list and bought everything on it, which blew my mind. (It was small stuff, but things I really wanted.) And my son got me a surprise Big Gift (an electronic frame that rotates through photos) that he was so excited about – he told me how he thought hard about what I might want, then did research to pick the best frame, etc. and he was so excited to give it to me. This is the first year he’s ever gotten me an unasked-for gift, and his happiness at giving vs receiving was a gift in itself. (He is 31 but it took this long for him to get financially and mentally stable enough to pull this off.)
The thoughtfulness both my (adult) kids put forth this year was what truly made my holiday.
I am so so SO happy about this.
Well done, Wendy’s kids! You saved Christmas!
This touched me so. I’m weepy.
Thank you so much! I have been struggling to figure out what we will eat for NY Eve to make it (1) special with just the four of us and (2) not become me spending hours in the kitchen cooking. And then I read your post and I thought appetizers, brilliant! So now each family member is responsible for coming up with and preparing (could be putting something frozen in the oven – you just need the idea yourself!) their own appetizer, and we can eat in the family room while playing games and watching movies, and I am finally excited about NY Eve. Thank you!
Yay!!
This is quite quite weird, but one of my favorite books is Tales from Moominvalley by Tove Jansson, and last year my husband gave me the first volume of Moomin comics and this year he gave me the second one (they are giant [like, larger than the average encyclopedia volume?], lush books from Drawn and Quarterly with an imprinted moomin on the front cover and it is amaaaazing and these volumes are more expensive than I ever would have considered buying for myself)(I mean, if I were taking a class that had required textbooks, I would pay this much for a book. But not otherwise?).
Part of what I love about this is that, one decade into marriage, my husband learned how to give gifts (listen to things the other person says throughout the year, stow away ideas, plan, buy). I am not a huge gift-y person, but it feels very special that he *deliberately learned how to do this* and also I feel like if I die and he gets married again, then I will have let down Next Spouse less (I know this is probably very silly of me, but before he figured out gift-giving, I previously felt vaguely guilty for not forcing him through a full course on Gift Training but only occasionally suggesting methods for how picking out gifts for his relatives could be made a less-painful [last-minute, no-idea, frenzied] process, because not getting gifts aside from Things Explicitly Asked For When Queried Last-Minute was fine with me, but would not be fine with most spouses? But now, 1. I receive gifts that show that he has listened and paid attention to me [being listened to or known *is* my love language], and 2. I feel like he is decently equipped for not well-earning complaints from a spouse in future life if ye olde chronic illness kicks me off the planet early, and both of these things make me very happy.).
I’m grinning from ear to ear at your thoughtfulness for his hypothetical next spouse. It’s so absurdly kind.
The happiest thing about my Christmas was the surprise I had planned for my family for two months: my older daughter brought her boyfriend home for the first time, so I wanted to make the holiday a little more fun than usual. I bought enough Nerf guns for everyone (including my parents!) to have one, and I put them all in an easily-opened-but-wrapped box. After we opened our stockings I put the box in the middle of the floor, said, “There’s one thing in here for everyone; when I say go grab your thing but CHOOSE WISELY,” pulled out the biggest of the guns and shouted GO.
The next half hour was chaotic good. It was even more fun than I had imagined, and I am so happy that everyone got into it. Now all the Nerf guns are put in the hall closet awaiting our younger daughter’s boyfriend’s visit this weekend!
That is AMAZING! It sounds like a thing I would try to do but no one would partake and would end in tears. I’m so glad your fun thing was a success!
I had hinted to two of the more potentially-cranky family members that I had a little surprise about which I was very excited and would they please be nice about it. I think that helped.
I *would* like to talk about loot, specifically the air fryer my kids convinced me to get for my husband. Swistle. It is LIFE CHANGING. Especially if you like mozzarella sticks and other things that need to be crisp-not-soggy. A++++ would highly recommend!
I work for an after-school program, and we often get small gifts at this time of year. This year was amazing, because I got a Barnes & Noble gift card, which somehow made me realize that all those Target gift cards could….. also be used for books if I wanted!
So I bought myself three HARDCOVER books that I have been wanting to read but couldn’t request from the library because our library doesn’t allow requests for new books unless you live within the city limits. Which is fine, but having those three books gave me so much joy.
Also my 4-year-old got a set of Scribble Scrubbie pets that she played with for like three straight hours on Christmas Day. Winner all around. Happy Holidays!
Because there are only four of us and New Years isn’t a huge deal to us we’re ordering in a meal for 2 (since my picky kids wouldn’t eat what’s being sent anyway). I’ll probably just do some finger foods for them. I’m so happy to not have to do too much!
The run up to Christmas and Christmas itself always has pluses and minuses; it’s just the nature of it.
I was pleasantly surprised that Man-Child and his girlfriend planned to spend both Christmas Eve AND Christmas morning with us. Yes, they did leave almost immediately after opening gifts – but I knew that they were trying to get in some quality time with her parents too; so I could respect that.
Man-Child is always thoughtful in the gift giving department but having a girlfriend meant that I got more woman-oriented gifts this year; which was lovely. The Husband is usually pretty thoughtful in his gift-giving, as well. The ONE (tiny) thing that he slipped into my stocking was instantly prized…three satin scrunchies. I wear one to bed every night and every night I lose it. When questioned later, he said he had noticed this and thought, “She needs more than one.” And I guess that is why I’ll keep him forever; despite the fact he has NO clue about the proper way to load a dishwasher.
We’re doing home reno and my spouse is doing a lot of DIY (a LOT) and also came back from vacation to find that nothing got done at work while he was gone, so SURPRISE now he’s lead on the project and the usually chill last two months of the year were going to be STRESSFUL AS HECK, soooooo I bought all my own Christmas gifts and I got myself new riding boots which I’ve been wanting forever but no one else understands how much I want them, and perfect pink striped pyjamas in which I very decadently purchased both the nightshirt and the regular top and pants set so I can give away the shirt and wear the dream combo of nightshirt and matching pants (hashtag tall people problems). My parents got us a mattress topper and a new pillow and so now my bed is a beautiful oasis of softness and in my new pyjamas I feel very spoiled and relaxed. Which I need because I haven’t had a kitchen in a month. HIGHLY recommend.
Night shirt and pants… why have I never thought of this before?!? Goodbye cold lower back!
Thank you for this great idea!
My husband listened and consulted the list I shared. There were new baking pans, a gorgeous kettle (that was the one he listened about, since my old kettle burned my hand more than once) and a set of knitting needles. He even remembered candy for my stocking! (And found candy corn in December!)
He’s got more things planned, since my birthday is Saturday.
The holidays have been quiet – my son is getting over Covid, as is my sister-in-law, so no visiting. We ordered sushi for Xmas eve, and had ham, salad and stuffing on Xmas Day. NYE will be some other sort of takeout, and a collaborative Italian dinner for NYD/My birthday.
My oldest child now has an after school job and he bought me a lanyard from etsy. It is colourful and lovely and he was so pleased to be buying his mum a present with money that he had earnt himself. Teenagers are swings and roundabouts (!) but this was wonderful and I felt really proud of him.
NYE we will watch one of those ‘year in review’ type shows and the kids will stay up late to watch the TV fireworks. Our home is small so no running for me, the kitchen is right there! We will probably eat sausage rolls and drink ginger ale :)
I am actively planning to set and break dozens of resolutions. The joy is in the plannning…..
My amazing neighbor took my kid Christmas shopping for me, which was such a tremendous gift— for both B (age 10) and me. B was SO excited to give me the presents he picked out!
I usually buy myself gifts “from” my husband. That way I get exactly what I want and I don’t feel angry and resentful. But this year, in a completely surprising twist, my husband had an old mantle clock that belonged to my grandparents fixed. We tried to get it fixed about 27 years ago and it was a huge ordeal and the clock never ended up repaired. It is almost impossible to even FIND someone to fix clocks in my area. But, he found someone, snuck the clock out of the house, and had it repaired. I was completely surprised and it was one of the best gifts I have ever received.