During the pandemic, I bought and/or put on my wish list a fair number of books (many as a result of this post), because I was not going into work myself and did not want to seem to be saying “Oh, hey, it’s not safe for ME to work at the library—but since YOU are there, could you fetch me some reading material? Thx!!”

Some of the books were huge hits, and I will save them on my bookshelf! Others, I will be allowing to depart my realm for VASTLY ASSORTED REASONS, including:

• I liked the book, but some books are not the re-reading kind
• I am passionately fond of other books by this author but what was UP with this one
• I LOVED it, and it was the first book of a trilogy, and when I went to buy the second/third books I found that it was actually less expensive to buy a box-set of all three books than to buy the second and third books, so I bought the box-set, which left me with an extra copy of the first book
• I hated it so much, I finished it only for the satisfaction of the Hate Read / for the incredulous attempt to understand WHY it was recommended; I want it out of my house; I want no one to know that money was paid for this book on my behalf

 

Which means I have a stack of Almost New, Read-Literally-One-Single-Time books, and I don’t want to keep them, but also I don’t want to donate them to a charity that will sell them (or fail to be able to sell them) for 50 cents or else put them in the paper recycling bin (books are the ULTIMATE in “losing value the second you drive them off the lot”), so maybe YOU would like to try them? Tastes in reading material vary so very much, and I greatly valued the chance to TRY a book and maybe you would too! And ALL of these books were HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, usually by MULTIPLE PEOPLE, so it’s fairly likely you WOULD like them!

And so I thought, what about this: What about we have a holiday-season giveaway, where you leave a comment telling me all the books in this stack that you’d like to win, and I choose winners, and I mail out the books WRAPPED (I will offer a choice of paper: Christmas, birthday, snowflakes, or something holiday-neutral such as pink paper with cats/elephants on it), and almost certainly not arriving in time for The Holidays, depending on which Holidays you celebrate, unless it is Valentine’s Day in which case there is a GOOD CHANCE!, and you don’t even KNOW which book you got until you unwrap it (unless you only said one book, which is FINE)?? Would that be fun??? I feel like that would be fun!!! OKAY, IF YOU TOO THINK IT WOULD BE FUN, LET’S GO!! [Edited to add: evidently Swistle is unable to handle the complexity of handling the very part she considered most fun; see below. MAYBE NEXT YEAR.]

I am only mailing these to U.S. addresses, but it does not have to be YOUR U.S. address, if you have a friend or family member in the U.S. who would enjoy receiving a once-read book in NEAR-but-not-quite-NEW-condition! If you would like to win, for yourself or for someone you know with a U.S. address, leave a comment that includes a list of ALL of the books from this stack that you would be interested in winning, IN THE ORDER YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED IN WINNING THEM. It is 100% okay if you list only one book! I will draw names, and then I will give out books in the order they appear on the list and are available! That is: if I first draw commenter #23, and commenter #23 lists the N. K. Jemisin first, they will get the N. K. Jemisin. Then if I draw commenter #8, and that commenter lists the N. K. Jemisin first and the Joanna Trollope second, the N. K. Jemisin is not available and so they will get the Joanna Trollope! And so on, until I have matched commenters to all of the books! I will do this on, let’s say Wednesday, December 1st? Which is THIS COMING WEDNESDAY ALREADY

Also: I think you should be forewarned that I am tentatively planning to write inscriptions in the books. (But I won’t if you instruct me not to.) (And almost certainly won’t if you’re having me send it to someone who isn’t you.) (And it’s likely I won’t ANYWAY, because I will be seized with self-consciousness and/or the worry that I will mis-write and have to SCRIBBLE SOMETHING OUT. IN A BOOK.)

Here are the available books, with my takes below the photo, in case you want to read my takes, which I don’t necessarily recommend since every single one of these books is one that was HIGHLY recommended to me, often multiple times, so you really should not be taking my word for anything, but if I were you I would want to see, so here you go, photo and then takes:

Sense & Sensibility, by Joanna Trollope, hardcover (Amazon link). This is part of a project to re-tell Jane Austen novels. The “cameos wearing earbuds” on the cover gives the general flavor, I think. I liked it fine. I felt it was trying too hard to be modern/sexy. But I liked it fine.

Last Things, by Jenny Offill, paperback (Target link) (Amazon link). I have LOVED other books by this author, but this was an abused/neglected/abandoned-childhood book, and I just never like those, no matter how good they are.

Redhead by the Side of the Road, by Anne Tyler, hardcover (Target link) (Amazon link). This felt like something that started as a character-sketch writing exercise, which the author then forced into a novel when she was panicking about meeting a book deadline. And furthermore, it was a character sketch of a mediocre white man. And the title was silly / ridiculous / A VERY ODD REACH.

In the Bleak Midwinter, by Julia Spencer-Fleming, paperback (Target link) (Amazon link). Hated it for many, many reasons. I don’t remember those reasons anymore. It’s a Dead Pretty Girl book, just for starters. And I remember a section where someone is portrayed as ridiculous/stupid, and that’s done primarily by making them poor/fat/ugly, and I was so appalled/horrified/nauseated I almost stopped reading right there. I read many sections out loud to Paul in a Ranting Tone, I remember that. But it’s the first in a series, and apparently there’s a good slow-burn romance, so if you might be interested, this would be a good way to try it!

Shades of Milk and Honey, by Mary Robinette Kowal, paperback (Target link) (Amazon link). This is Jane Austen / Pride & Prejudice fan fiction, and I liked it and thought it did a very good job, but didn’t think I’d want to re-read. I don’t remember it well at this point, but it added an element of magical arts to the other normal artistic accomplishments of a young lady.

The Fifth Season, by N. K. Jemisin, paperback, FIRST IN A TRILOGY (Target link) (Amazon link). Science fiction by a woman instead of by a middle-aged white man; loved it even though early on there is a terrible scene involving a child, and that scene is revisited later on; wanted to read the next two and found it would be cheaper to buy the trilogy box set, and so ended up with an extra copy of the first book. I don’t want to talk you out of it by mentioning the child thing; it’s just, that is the kind of thing I prefer to be braced for, and to know that someone Very Sensitive to that Kind of Thing was able to still enjoy the books.

The Family Fang, by Kevin Wilson, paperback (Amazon link). I really enjoyed Nothing To See Here, but The Family Fang was not my style AT ALL. I hate hate hate public performance/embarrassment stuff, especially when designed to make other people uncomfortable, and I don’t like plots that seem way too surreal to ever be even remotely real. This felt like trying-too-hard indie writing.

A House Among the Trees, by Julia Glass, paperback (Target link) (Amazon link). I LOVED other books by this author, but never got into this one. It seemed like tedious idolatry of a thoroughly mediocre and irritating white man. I kept waiting for it to get good.

Mrs. Everything, by Jennifer Weiner, paperback (Target link) (Amazon link). I hated this book enough to continue reading it to the end ONLY because I really MAKE SURE I hated it. And in fact, this book was a breaking point: I will never read another book by Jennifer Weiner, I don’t care how highly recommended it is, I am DONE. Errrrrrr…this does not mean I will think it’s weird if you love her and want to win this book! not that you should care what I think anyway! I can see that she is not actually the worst, but her style is extremely a certain particular kind I am having trouble putting a finger on but it is something like: I! Am! Writing! a! Book!

Mexican Gothic, by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, hardcover (Target link) (Amazon link). This was really good and really creepy/suspenseful and I would highly recommend it, but I didn’t think I’d want to re-read it.

 

 

Update! I have chosen the winners and sent out emails! I ABSOLUTELY BLEW IT and told each winner which book they’d won! I can’t believe I did that! I was trying to be so organized, making myself a list of each winner with their email address and SECRET book they’d won, and then—welp. I just went ahead and wrote the name of the book into each email, as if that had been the careful plan all along. The only upside I can see to this is that if you were thinking of putting any of the other books on your wish list, you aren’t restricted by not knowing which book Swistle is sending you. But other than that—sigh.