I am going to tell you an appalling story with, as far as I can see, very little hope of any good ending, and I will hope against hope that this is like the time I could not find my new kitten anywhere, and I told the internet and the internet said “One time I found my new kitten asleep in a closed drawer,” and I thought, “Psh, there is no way!”—but I opened a closed drawer, and there was my kitten, asleep.
Here is the story.
The housecleaners came today. Our usual cleaner (who seems to own the business, which may or may not be a formal business) (we did not hire her ourselves; we were passed on to her by our previous cleaner, who quit the business; this is why I am so vague/uninformed) is out for medical reasons, so she sent her helper plus a relative she said she had used as a helper before.
When I got home, on the kitchen counter was a plastic bag containing some miscellaneous items, one of which was Edward’s brand new driver’s license, so I left it on the counter to ask him about. When he got home and saw the bag, he went running upstairs. He came back down to say that those items were the contents of a box in which he keeps his money, and the box was gone. He’d had approximately $300 in the box. He knows it was in there as recently as yesterday, because he took some out to buy something.
(Edited to add: the plastic bag in question was…out of the trash. It was a packaging bag we’d thrown away in the laundry room which, to be fair, is 99% dryer filter fluff, so pretty clean.)
We went out to the garage, where the cleaners always leave a bag of trash. We searched the bag of trash; no money. We found the cardboard box Edward had been using as a bank—not in the trash, but sitting with the cardboard. No money in it.
Here is the thing: There is no universe in which the cleaners would open a cardboard box, take out the things inside, put them in a plastic bag on the counter, and put the box out with the recycling. And it’s not, like, a tattered shipping box with flaps flapping open: it’s cardboard, but it’s small and tidy, and the lid is attached to one edge and closes neatly, with little side flaps that tuck into side sockets.
Another thing: There is no universe in which anyone who stole money would carefully draw attention to that by putting the OTHER items from the money box on the kitchen counter, and leaving the empty box visibly in the garage.
Another thing: It is my understanding that hearing “Um, hey, some money is missing” is way up there at the top of the list of Housecleaner Nightmares. I don’t see how I can even ASK. Or rather: if I have to ask, it seems like I am at the point where I am ending my relationship with the housecleaners—or they are going to end their relationship with me, because I have accused them of something, and they can’t keep working for me after that. Or if they do keep working for me, their heart will be flattened and all the joy/satisfaction of the work will be gone, which is how I would feel in that situation.
The impossibility of any situation in which they took the money is leading me to reach wider and wider with my theories of how the money could be gone. For example, I asked Edward was there ANY CHANCE AT ALL that he had recently moved the money. (But…even if there were no money in the box, they would not have taken the items out of the box and put them into a bag and disposed of the box!)
We have looked anywhere that immediately came to mind, and Edward is continuing to look obsessively in places the money just CAN’T be (the housecleaners would not have taken money out of a box and put it in his bottom bureau drawer), but I understand the impulse. We have a large jar of coins in our bedroom; I looked there. I looked on our desks, and on the bureaus in our room, in case a cleaner thought “Whoa, this money shouldn’t just be sitting in a cardboard box.” I looked on the counter where they’d put the bag. I looked in the bag. I’m not finding it anywhere.
I checked my texts and messages, just in case there might be an explanation there. Nothing. After I post this, I am going to go back to roaming futilely around the house, trying to think of anywhere at all the money could accidentally be. (I also think there is a small chance of hearing from someone: it could possibly be that neither cleaner speaks English, and that something has happened that they will tell our usual cleaner, who will then contact us, and that they specifically left the items on the counter as a sign that a story would be forthcoming. But…the box is undamaged.)
Also, it is worth noting that the language barrier involved is considerable: two Christmases ago, I left them the usual check and also a cash tip for each of them inside holiday cards, and they never cashed the check, but refused to take a replacement check because they said they HAD cashed the check (they had not), and so the only conclusion I could come to is that they thought their divided-into-holiday-cards Christmas cash was the payment? or something? and just recorded it as “paid” without keeping track of whether it was cash or check? and, coincidentally, lost the check for the first time ever? It all seemed impossible—and on that occasion, the impossible situation was against their own interests.
[Edited to add:] I have had another terrible thought. William lost a bag of Christmas/birthday cash and gift cards earlier this year. I completely assumed he had misplaced it. I told him that the ONE thing I knew could NOT have happened was the cleaners taking it. I told him I was CERTAIN it would show up among his things. But when our housecleaner mentioned we would be having a sub, she said it was the same sub we had this summer while our housecleaner was on vacation. I don’t remember, unfortunately, when exactly the bag of cash and gift cards disappeared, but our cleaners started back in May. I have a sick sinking feeling that yesterday’s situation is not the first time, and may not even have been the second time. And I don’t think I can have any housecleaners in the house anymore.
I don’t have any ideas, either, but I’m hoping that someone has a good idea of how to handle the situation. I’m sure something like this has happened before and someone has a good way of dealing with it.
Okay, so. I have envisioned a scenario which is STILL NOT GOOD but BETTER THAN THIEVING HOUSECLEANERS. The only reason I can see for emptying the box, putting it in the garage, and putting those miscellaneous items in a plastic bag in the kitchen, is if the money was not in it in the first place, and one of the other children “borrowed” the money without Edward knowing. When was the last time Edward opened the box and saw the money?
Like I said – still not a great scenario, but then at least you aren’t ending a relationship with your cleaner, or accusing them unnecessarily… I would look at your own household first! Or friends, if the kids have had friends over? I mean… I am not proud of this but I definitely stole money from my sister’s piggy bank a few times over the years, and I know that’s pretty common between siblings.
I thought of the siblings/friends scenarios also – I once had all my cash stolen from my childhood bedroom by some friends of my brother’s. Which is why I suggest the in-house investigation below. Great minds, etc.
This was my first thought too.
OR
Did it get knocked over and the money took a weird bounce, like in a vent or behind a book.
Maybe the cats?
I know you hate it but you have to ask. Sigh
Yes, that’s also a possibility – maybe Edward didn’t close the side flaps, it got knocked over and the contents spilled everywhere, the cleaner picked up the contents so she could vacuum the floor, but didn’t see the money because it landed under a piece of furniture or something. That also might explain why the box was left in recycling – an empty box lying open on the floor looks a lot more like trash than a box with items in it sitting on a desk/dresser/nightstand/wherever he left it. It doesn’t explain why they left the bag of stuff in the kitchen instead of in Edward’s room, but maybe they wanted it to be easy to find.
I’d also want to know if the tidy storage box was the ONLY thing from Edward’s room taken down to recycling, since that seems a lot more bizarre than it getting mixed up with several other open boxes he happened to have lying around.
could he have left the box open and one of the cats scattered the stuff so they didn’t know what to do and put it into a plastic bag? still, the cat probably doesn’t have the money
If there is ANY chance that someone else in the household knows anything (e.g., a sibling knew the cash was in the box and thought it prudent to hid it elsewhere as a precaution before the cleaners came, or the cleaners had put the money in the plastic bag with the other contents before recycling the box so a sibling saw it there on the counter and put it in a safe place thinking it could be lost/stolen easily if out on the kitchen counter), I would exhaust all avenues in that vein. I realize these are borderline outlandish scenarios but I WANT there to be a solution to this other than the inevitable, which follows below.
Assuming that fails, I would feel no other choice but to contact the business owner and, incredibly apologetically and emphasizing how you have turned over every stone and you just have to ask if anyone there knows ANYthing because your child is frantic about his money, etc., explain the situation and ask for her help resolving it. Perhaps she will be aware of a pattern into which this would fit and/or she would immediately remedy the situation (her business may even carry insurance for this type of thing which would cover the money that would have to be paid back to you for the lost amount).
This makes me feel ill and I’m sorry you have to deal with it. It seems like every Swistle fret topic rolled into one nightmare scenario.
Would it work if you started by asking about why those items were bagged? Then depending on the answer you you may be able to bring up the money without sounding accusatory.
I can’t explain what happened, but I’m hoping it’s helpful that I agree with you that it seems very unlikely that this is how someone would go about stealing money, and that it is so unlikely I have some hope for you finding a way to ask your cleaners about it without it being a nightmare of a conversation. Maybe start with asking about the box and the drivers license, and emphasizing that you understand that someone new might have gotten confused and “cleaned up” the box when it wasn’t trash…but now you are trying to find some things that were in the box that are missing, and do they have any ideas?
Also…maybe ask Edward for details about how the money was in the box? Was he being clever by disguising it in a sock or old candy box, or something, such that a person might have done something with it they wouldn’t do with money?
And I assume your kids, and any other kids passing through the house, are all very honest…but the cleaner finding the pieces after someone else had taken the money (maybe there was a disagreement about whose money it was rightfully, or an intention to pay it back before anyone noticed) seems slightly more likely than the cleaner incriminating themselves so obviously.
Oh, I hate this for you.
My only possible scenario for them leaving the items in a bag on the counter and putting the box out to recycle is that they spilled some water or cleaning stuff on the box and thought, “oops, don’t want the items in it to get wet,” but I am well aware that this doesn’t account for the money. I really have no good guess on that. Ugh.
Could the money have been left on the counter by the cleaner and then picked up by either someone in your family, or the other cleaner thinking it was a payment?
As a kid, I did have things go missing after the house cleaner had cleaned. I was a young kid so it was not a lot, a twenty dollar bill once, and a Swatch watch (an $80 purchase I made when I was 12). I don’t think my mom fired the housecleaners over it, and she assumed that I had been the careless kid who lost these items. But I am not careless, and know I didn’t lose them. I did leave them unattended while strangers worked in our house, and I did learn a valuable lesson.
I don’t have any advice here, all to say that it’s not the norm for housecleaners to steal, because a job is usually more valuable than most things they could take. But…your son’s money appears to have been stolen OR it is lost or misplaced. It absolutely sucks that this happened. I don’t know what kind of conversation needs to happen with your teen. But the risk of loose storage of cash and valuables will continue to come up if he goes away to college and lives in a dorm or other shared housing. Even now as an adult when I stay at a hotel it crosses my mind when I choose to leave my laptop or passport behind in the room.
I don’t think you can assume that your housecleaners will quit if you ask them about the missing contents of the box. If your normal housecleaner wasn’t there and sent a sub, it’s important for them to know there may be some trust issues. You don’t have to approach the conversation yourself. You could consider having Edward write a note or ask over the phone or in person if you choose to have your regular housecleaner back. You could even say something like, “I’ve never had an issue with you before and would like to continue having you work for my family, but it’s important that we can trust who is in our home. So if you can’t make it, please cancel instead and do not send a sub.”
So sorry this has happened.
I would be inclined to send a light (super breezy!) message to the head cleaner saying something like, “Thank you so much for arranging for your helpers to come by this week! I hope you are recovering well! The house looks great, as always! I have a funny question to ask, and I’m hoping you can relay it to your helpers for me. They came across a few loose items while they were cleaning (my teenager’s driver’s license, can you believe that!) and left them in a bag on the counter. Would you ask them where those items had been? Did they find them behind his dresser or under his bed, by any chance? My son is so forgetful and can’t remember where he would have misplaced them, so I’d like to help him get his room more organized. Thanks a bunch!”
There has to be a logical answer! I’m with you that they would never have stolen the whole amount, nor called your attention to it by leaving the bag of goodies. I’m dying to know what really happened!
But he does remember where he put them. The whole problem hinges on that, so if you have to follow up at all, you then have a lie to clean up and zero hope of working together towards a solution where you can trust each other. And there’s a language barrier here too, so it’s just adding tangle upon tangle.
I would ask about the bagged items, but really, really, wouldn’t be light and breezy about it or provide them with kid-blaming options.
What I’d do is say that there were things that were left in a bag on the counter that, to the best of your knowledge, came out of a box that had been in one of your kids’ rooms, and that the box had also contained cash, which is now missing. And I’d ask them to check to see if they could find out how the stuff came to be in a bag, because you’re trying to track down the cash– if they could let you know which room and where in the room it was found, it might help you find where the cash had fallen.
It gives them a little bit of an out, because you’re conveying that you’re assuming that the cash fell somewhere, but it also makes it really clear that the money is important. Which is is– $300 is not a negligible sum.
I get that you don’t want them to be uncomfortable, but this is a situation in which they should understand that you’re being polite but also serious. And also: if they decide to stop working with you over it, I would take that as a sign of a problem with them, not you. Because if they cannot deal with someone who’s communicating politely about a missing $300, they are not people who should be coming into your home.
Also, I would add to this thread that you did pay them for a substantial amount of time while they didn’t work in your house during the pandemic. This would be the gesture of a client I would want to keep a a small business owner. I would want to hear if any concerns my clients had with subs I hired to replace me in my absence.
Oh this sucks. Because even if you don’t think the cleaners took it, until you find it, you will always wonder.
Does Edward know the last time he was in the box? Did he recently get new money and put it away? I tend to think I’m going to put something away for safe keeping and then forget where I put it (meanwhile all I can remember is the first, non-safe place). Try to think of any non-logical places he could have put the money. Any chances it got caught up in a desk or dresser drawer that was over-stuffed?
As someone said above, I do kind of wonder if the money got left on the counter and someone took it, thinking it was the payment?
I’d also recommend everyone stop looking for it for a day or so and then look again with fresh eyes. Sometimes in panic, you overlook something. Definitely don’t throw anything away for a while.
Last year I was looking for a bracelet that I got in Venice. I keep most of my jewelry on a few plates on my dresser. I searched those plates, I emptied dresser drawers, I looked with a flashlight behind the dresser. I looked in a jewelry cabinet that I just KNEW I wouldn’t have put it in. It wasn’t in any of the places. 3 days later, I found it in the jewelry cabinet which had a lid that lifted off the top in addition to the drawers I had searched.
I have 2 maybe relevant experiences with this- note, our cleaners clean the houses of SEVERAL of our friends, so I assume, even if the temptation is there, ruining their rep is worse than whatever they could steal?
I could NOT find a piece of jewelry. I text them before they came for their next visit and said that I had misplaced them and if they found them, could they leave them on my desk. 4 weeks later I stumbled across them somewhere completely NONSENSICAL.
A couple of years ago, when my mom was still cutting hair, she gave me $500 of tip money to deposit for her at the bank. It disappeared. we searched HIGH and low. a YEAR later, when I was donating the kids old costumes, I FOUND the wad in the vest of the safari costume – NO ONE knows how it would have gotten in there.
When I was a teenager, my aunt gave me a $100 bill for…some sort of milestone event, I think my 16th birthday. Somehow it inexplicably went missing, and after looking seemingly everywhere I gave up. Then one day months (possibly even YEARS) later, I emptied out one of my dresser drawers to organize the contents, and the $100 bill (along with quite a large amount of additional cash) was wedged between the drawer and the side of the dresser. I never would have thought to look there!
Oh! Also! I have a little box where I keep all of my “fancy” jewelry – mostly things handed down from my grandmothers, so not easily replaceable. One time it got misplaced and I tore apart my entire apartment looking for it. Turns out it had fallen off my dresser and gotten stuck between the dresser and the wall. I’d thought at first that it might have fallen off the dresser, but only thought to look UNDER the dresser.
Okay, last two:
I moved from the UK to the United States early last year, and when I was unpacking I couldn’t find a pair of leather gloves I could have SWORN I remembered packing. (I knew this because I’d had two pairs of leather gloves, and I specifically remembered putting one pair in the donation bag and the other in my suitcase.) They were inexpensive and wouldn’t have been a big deal to replace, except for the fact that they were from a chain store with very few locations in the US, so not easily replaceable in that sense. They were GREAT gloves, so I was sad to have lost them.
Over a year later, I was packing a backpack to bring on a camping trip, and the gloves were inside it. I was pretty sure I’d used that backpack since returning from the UK, and even if I hadn’t, why would I put a pair of gloves (and apparently nothing else) in a backpack and then put the backpack in my suitcase? I guess it’s possible that I used the backpack as a carry-on bag, but why would I need a pair of gloves while on an airplane? It’s a mystery.
(Side note: I recently moved to Ireland – I move a lot – and guess what somehow got lost in the move. The chain store I bought them from has lots of locations here, though, so I guess I could get new ones.)
Another story: I have a necklace with a gold charm shaped like a unicorn that used to be my mom’s. I wore it a lot in college, and (against my better judgment) brought it on a study-abroad trip to Peru one summer. When I got back from the trip, it was nowhere to be found, and I got quite the lecture from my mom on keeping track of my belongings. At least a month later, I found it on my parents’ front lawn. I have no idea how it got there, and the lawn had been mowed several times since I got back, so it’s a miracle it survived.
Anyway, I hope these stories are encouraging and not overkill!
I agree with M. above, with the added tip to take pictures of everything–the bag as it was left on the counter, the cardboard box in the garage, etc. You may have to recreate the scenarios but it would be helpful to have in your explanation to your housecleaner.
This would bother me to no end, but there’s no way you can NOT say something to her. I wouldn’t use an accusatory tone but I wouldn’t be nonchalant, either; it’s $300 and that’s not a small sum. If you’d like a script, this is what I would say:
“Hi, I hope Usual Cleaner is feeling better. On Xday she sent Usual Helper plus one of her relatives to clean for us. When I got home, there was a plastic bag on the kitchen counter that had several items in it, including Edward’s drivers license. When I showed it to Edward, he said those things had been in a closed cardboard box in his room along with $300 in cash. We later found that cardboard box, empty, with the recycling. None of our other family members touched the box, and we are at a loss to explain what happened.
“I am hoping you can help us get to the bottom of this. Is it possible Usual Helper or her relative put the money elsewhere, somewhere they thought was safe? We have looked everywhere we can think of and cannot find it. Or is it possible they thought it was payment, and took it with them?
“It is so awkward for me to have to ask about this, but you understand that I have to ask; $300 is a lot of money for Edward and we just have no idea what happened or why the contents of his box were on the kitchen counter. I’m attaching pictures of everything as we found it. Thank you so much, Swistle”
Also please keep us posted because now I am invested. Poor Edward.
I very much agree with this. I would send it over text (so I could fret over exact punctuation, and also because it makes it seem more timely (vs an email which can be replied to in a day or two, and there would be NO way I would want to do it over the phone). I do want to say when I was a teenager, I had a similarly awful situation happen at a hotel. We were staying there for my brother’s wedding, and my dad gave me $80 cash to pay the hair/makeup people. The housekeepers cleaned my room, and when I got back the money was gone. I was so embarrassed (why? I just was) but my dad asked the front desk “Is there any way the cleaners thought this was a tip?” and they HAD. I had left it on the bed and did not understand that is Tip Behavior and they were apologetic and it was very Cringe but it was also VERY understandable. I really hope for this outcome for you. Very much.
Possible non-confrontational script for a text:
(Photo of bag)
Hey! Could you ask with the team that was here last week about this bag? We’d really appreciate knowing where these items were found…we think they might have been near some other things that are still missing.
This is a really good script.
I 100% agree with this approach. This is a lot of money for a kid, poor guy.
I also want to note there are some universes where someone would steal and be very obvious about it. A person in my world cleaned homes and also struggled with addiction. Once, when she relapsed, she stole from the homes she cleaned, but did not cover her tracks well at all, because, well, addiction. No one pressed charges, but other people in my universe were alerted to the fact she was stealing and was likely off the wagon, which was good information to have.
This is a very very good script. Says everything plainly without any accusation or fluff.
Such an excellent script! You can ask about that very odd plastic bag/thrown out box issue & not mention the money and see if any relevant info searches.
Also: I have, like many here, had a few instances where something goes missing & turns up in a way that seems totally unexplainable, yet there it is. My husband lost his car keys once. We tore the house apart, looked every possible place, and no car keys appeared. He used the spare and that was that. Something like a YEAR later, he pulled out a pair of very rarely used shoes and there, down in the toe, was the car key. We think it may have been the toddler? Who at the time loved to squirrel things away?? We may never know.
I also think there is the chance (just a chance) that Edward moved the money, but doesn’t remember he did. Or that a sibling or friend took it. Or that someone knocked the box over and the money rolled/fell somewhere weird. It just seems so WEIRD that if the cleaners took it, they would do the whole plastic bag/throw out the box thing. Who would do that? If someone stole the money wouldn’t they leave everything exactly the same and hope no one noticed??
That’s an excellent script. I like that it implies that you’re not jumping to conclusions and immediately assumed the cleaners took it – more like, “We’ve looked everywhere it could possibly be and are at a loss.”
I like LeighTX’s script too. Direct, honest, conveys the gravity of the situation, and still leaves lots of room for the cleaner to come up with a good explanation and salvage the business relationship if indeed there was some sort of error involved.
Frankly, if it turns out the sub did steal from you, would you even want to still have this business in your house anyway?
Oh NO, what an upsetting situation.
Could you contact the housecleaners and frame things in a non-accusatory way, like perhaps there was a miscommunication and you’re trying to figure out where the wires got crossed? Maybe something like, “While your helpers were cleaning on [date], a box in my son’s room was mistakenly put in recycling. We found most of its contents in a plastic bag in the kitchen, but there was about $300 in cash in the box that we haven’t been able to find. Can you ask your helpers where they put it?” I guess that still sounds a little accusatory, but it does give the cleaners a chance to explain in case there IS a legitimate explanation. (Maybe they thought it was payment? Or the money IS somewhere in the house, but in a spot you wouldn’t think to look? Or…I don’t know, one of the cleaners stuck it in her pocket for safekeeping, intending to put it somewhere safe later, and then forgot? None of those sound LIKELY, but stealing money from a box and then making it SO GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that the box was tampered with also doesn’t seem likely.)
PS – Congratulations to Edward for getting his license!
Actually, I’d change the last sentence of that script to, “Can you ask your helpers if they know what happened?” That sounds less accusatory, especially on the off-chance that Edward really did misplace the money and the cleaners never even saw it.
I want to start by saying I am conflict adverse and I have never dealt with this or have I read the previous comments yet.
I would contact the owner of the company and in a friendly, there-must-be-a-misunderstanding tone ask why they opened the box (that closes so well), put it out for the recycling, and put his DL in the bag without mentioning the money. I would wait to see what the response for that may be and feel out the owner’s reply before then going in to explain the whole situation.
I think it is reasonable to explain that this is awkward for everyone without allowing them to accuse your child of being the irresponsible one who potentially lost the money because you haven’t even brought up the money yet. You are wondering at first why the DL was removed from the box. They weren’t to be organizing his room, I suppose? Do you feel that they are typically opening closed boxes without your knowledge?
A couple more thoughts (I am from a family of stuff losers…it is high drama for us). Where did the box come from originally? It is not, by any chance, a type of box you get regularly enough that the one in the garage just seemed like the same one, right? (This seems unlikely, but the whole situation is unlikely).
And what kind of stuff loser is Edward usually? Is it normal for him to misremember things and jump to worst case scenarios? Does the implausible place checking maybe indicate a lack of confidence on his part that he didn’t actually have the money someplace else (it would for me)?
Just another voice to say that I think it’s worth reaching out. Think hard about what you feel you need to say/ask and send it, via email/phone/text– whatever is most comfortable for you.
This will not be the first time they’ve had to talk to a client about something a little awkward. They have been cleaning your house for a long time now, so they know you aren’t troublesome clients and they have every incentive to try to be genuinely helpful with their response. Depending on how it goes, you may get useful information, the money might magically turn up during the next visit, or you may just get yourself to a better sense of closure.
*If* someone did take money that maybe they shouldn’t have and you *don’t* call them on it, I’d worry that they might start to feel a little more free to help themselves in the future. Just giving them a heads up might prevent future trouble for yourself or even other families.
This is extremely weird. I can’t imagine a scenario in which house cleaners take things out of a small box, put it in a plastic bag, and dispose of the box. Even setting aside that money is missing—what?? I have never had house cleaners be so “bossy” and aggressive with my stuff. So honestly, I’d probably say something even if money weren’t missing! (Like, please don’t do that again!)
Relevant experience: once my mom had emergency surgery and I put all her jewelry she was wearing in a plastic bag and put it “somewhere safe” and I explicitly remembered putting it in a particular drawer. It wasn’t there and we had no explanation. She asked the house cleaners about it very nicely and apologetically—they came and looked for it themselves and found it. A place I couldn’t remember putting it. They were very kind and professional about it and continued to clean for my mom for many years afterward. My only explanation is I was extremely stressed—is Edward extremely stressed right now? At any rate, good luck. Sounds extremely bizarre even under the best of circumstances! Please update us!
Just adding another voice to the chorus that it doesn’t make sense to me that the cleaners took the money. We have had a few funny instances of things going missing over the years, including money…anything of any importance / value has always been found, generally in really weird spots. I would probably ask Edward first if any friends that have been over (if he’s had friends over recently) would’ve known about this, then start interrogating all the siblings.
Present the known facts, minus the specifics about it being money that is missing. “My son keeps his drivers license and a few other items in a neat little cardboard box in his room in [name the specific location]. When I came home a few of those items including the license were in a bag on the kitchen counter and the box had been recycled in the garage. A few items are it in the bag that my son thought were also kept in there box. Do your helpers remember seeing any other items in or near the box when it was in Edward room? It may help jog his memory while he is looking for them.”
If you’re feeling salty, I would also point out to them that you aren’t happy that items were removed from a storage box and it then being recycled. That’s a very weird and risky thing to do even with the best of intentions and I’m sure your regular cleaner would agree.
Ugh spelling errors. “A few items are NOT in the bag that my son thought had been kept in the box”
I’ve had a few obscure quests solved by crowd-sourcing, so here’s my story from The Before-time, may it be a blessing.
When I was a toddler my widowed grandfather had a housekeeper. She was a wonderful person by all accounts, and watched over the multi-generation chaos in a four story farmhouse like a benevolent elder god. She was so righteous and upright that my grandfather couldn’t bring himself to put her on the farm payroll and instead put her Benjamins in a cigar humidor in the pantry from which she withdrew funds as needed.
Fast forward twenty years and her grown daughter branches out into a housekeeping venture of her own and her first clients kept their grocery money in a cigar humidor in the pantry. She was confused by her first paycheck, they panicked about the missing money and it was a long hard road to a happy ending. The story was taught to us children as a Fable Concerning The Communication Of Expectations. Maybe it’s worth inquiring how your folks generally get paid?
This is a charming story, anyway!
Here’s a scenario I came up with that seems to me one plausible way something could have happened:
Cleaner and helper split up to do different tasks/rooms. Helper is doing Edward’s room, and is less experienced, and for whatever reason decides to “tidy” box & contents. Money ends up on kitchen counter, spread out with other items.
Cleaner finds money and other items scattered on counter. Cleaner thinks money is payment, and takes it with good intentions. Counter needs to be wiped down, so Cleaner bags all the other stuff, leaving it on counter.
I realize that there are many, many possible explanations, and odds are this isn’t actually how it went down. But it makes me think there’s hope that everyone tried to do the right thing, a weird misunderstanding happened, and reaching out might possibly yield good results.
One last thing– I would try to contact the cleaners sooner rather than later, while they might still remember little details about who put what where.
This seems like the most likely scenario to me, that the money somehow got out of the box and was thought to be payment.
I have to say that anything you say to the cleaners should include specific mention of the missing cash. I have seen many scenarios where one person was trying to communicate something in such a delicate, polite way that the other person had absolutely no idea what was being said (the only way I knew was that both parties complained to me about the other!) For this reason, LeighTX’s script is my favorite.
I agree that you should ask the cleaners about it in a completely non-accusatory way, and also that there is close to zero chance that they took the money – I like the knocked the box over under the dresser type scenario the best.
We had three brand new, expensive, light fixtures go missing during a renovation when I had tons of people in and out of my house. I was SURE it wasn’t the regular team doing the construction, but we looked everywhere and asked the guys if they had perhaps moved it, being careful not to imply otherwise (they said they definitely hadn’t). We knew exactly where we had put them, neither of us had moved them, and these were big boxes, so hard to lose. But we searched our house and our basement and nothing. So ultimately, we decided that perhaps one of the painters, who were subcontracted and we didn’t know so well, took them. We ended up just ordering and installing three new light fixtures. MONTHS later, with the construction over, I was looking at some boxes of tile that we had put aside for our next home improvement project, and there they were, neatly stacked, in a place I had looked at least 10 times, but they blended in so well that I totally missed them. Our construction crew had, in fact, moved them, but they hadn’t remembered that they did since I’m sure they didn’t even know what they were moving. It was too late to return them, so we just gave them away on Facebook, but I was so happy that I hadn’t actually accused anyone of stealing them that I wasn’t even annoyed about all the money that I wasted.
I hope it turns up because it really is the worst feeling! But I think you have a complete cover to ask about the bag on the counter!
My beloved housekeeper is a single mom of a son who has evolved from naughty to troubled to delinquent in the years we have known her (her ex and the son’s mental illness are big drivers). He occasionally has to come to our house So I have had this conversation a few times. Not always about money – but also not always his fault. My two cents is your feedback must be timely. And you have to mention the money upfront.
I’d text a pic of the box and the bag and say “hey, all this was in this box with money but now the box is in the trash, the stuff is in the bag and we can’t find the money? Can you tell me what happened?”
If you want you can leave out the amount of money. That way if the owner is horrified, wants to pay you back and promises no assistant you can choose to tell her $50 or $100 and not to worry about it.
The good news is you can likely keep your housekeeper but maybe the assistant cannot come anymore.
Yes. This makes sense to me also. I know many housekeepers who occasionally have children with them.
Agh! Ugh! Also, eek! So terrible and also SO WEIRD. I agree it is extremely unlikely that the person would steal the money and leave the driver’s license out. If Edward is anything like my son, I would be pretty sure that it had nothing to do with the cleaners, but I have no idea if he is anything like my son. I agree with the people who said reach out in a non-accusatory manner, but I know how terrible I would feel asking my cleaner – who bought a Swiffer wet jet to use here and didn’t want to accept payment for it. I really hope this has a sleeping-kitten-in-a-drawer ending.
A friend once lost her wedding ring set and awkwardly asked a teen living with her if she stole them. Though the teen said no, she didn’t believe her and then thought perhaps it was the boyfriend. Fast forward a week and she found her rings attached to the bottom of a bag of cheese with that industrial strength glue found on bulk packaging. She realized she had taken her rings off to cook and then set food packages near the rings and then they attached themselves quite accidentally.
I do hope the money turns up quickly in a very strange place, or like in my experience, very close to where I looked before but my eyes have glazed over due to anxiety.
My husband and I came up with this same scenario *separately*, so I think it’s worth sharing, even though I hope it’s not what happened! Maybe the helper (who might be less invested in the long-term business relationship you have with the owner/regulars) took the money and intended to get rid of the evidence. The money went into the helper’s bag, the box went to recycling, and the rest of the stuff went into A BAG FROM THE TRASH, with the intention that it would go *back into* the trash offsite somewhere. That bag of stuff was put in a cleaning caddy to be taken away at the end of the day, never to be seen again, but then *other* cleaner saw it and was like, “Oh, hmm, this isn’t ours,” and put it on the counter (not knowing what it was and where it came from) as they were closing up. I HOPE this isn’t what happened, but I can’t get over the fact of the box’s contents being put in a bag TAKEN FROM THE TRASH. Like…why? How was that decision made?
Yes, pulling a bag out of the trash to use seemed like a really odd detail to me, too. Unless Swistle’s house is a rare one that doesn’t have a big stash of plastic grocery bags readily available?
This seems like a plausible explanation to me, although I agree that I hope it’s not what happened.
I would start by asking your usual house cleaner why Edward’s license and other things were in a bag in the counter, and see what they say. Next you can bring up the money depending on how they answer.
I haven’t read all the comments but I think one of the keys is that William *also* had cash go missing when the same cleaners were there. I think someone has to ask the cleaners about it (could Paul do it?), because 1) if they are using a thief, they need to know about it, 2) it will be hard to rest if you never address it – it will be haunting you years in the future, and 3) you LIKE having the cleaners come, and cleaners are hard to find! And if you don’t ever address it and instead choose to not have them back, they will wonder what they did wrong.
I don’t suppose you and William communicated about his missing stuff via text? That would help put a date on it. I know you were living in the same house, but it’s not uncommon for household members here to send texts to each other, even from different rooms in the house when we’re all home.
That’s a good thought, and I just checked texts and emails, but unfortunately nothing. I’ve emailed him and I’m hoping he remembers or has something HE can check (like an email to a friend or a memory that it was right after X happened).
Oh no OH NO. I have nothing to add to all the great suggestions above, except commiserative horror and dismay. I’m so sorry. What an awful situation. I am hoping HOPING that there is a Good Resolution.
I have nothing useful to add. But I have to tell you how glad I am that I read this post first, and after sharing in how disheartening this situation is moved on to the latest baby name update “ Baby Boy Burklee Stirring, Brother to N0a and Levi”. Best. Update. Ever.
This is awful. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. So yucky. I have no good suggestions but maybe getting Edward (or the household) a small safe for Xmas might be a good idea?
Just saw the update about William’s missing cash. That … doesn’t look good. I find it kind of baffling for housecleaners to steal things. The homeowners know you’re there! If something’s missing after you leave, they’ll have a pretty good idea it was you! It just doesn’t make sense to me, but this certainly looks suspicious.
This doesn’t mean you can’t ever have housecleaners! I would just try to find some who are licensed, with many glowing recommendations from people who have worked with them for years. We’ve had our housecleaners for 10 years and although some of the helpers have changed, we’ve never had anything go missing, and my kids sometimes leave cash just sitting out in their rooms (what is it with kids and dumb money storage?). I worry more about them breaking something or putting the recycling in the wrong bin than I do about them stealing anything.
I’m sorry for your kids though. That stinks.
Just read the update and that makes me sad that you can’t have cleaners anymore. There has to be a work around for that. Obviously, these cleaners need to go but there must be some way to put things in a small safe when they are there (like someone upthread suggested) or have a strict rule of no substitutes. When I had a cleaner I had just one woman coming who worked independently so there were no subs but your house might be too big for that. It seems like your quality of life was greatly improved by this service.
I am one that gives the benefit of the doubt to the extreme. But this? Nope. Every red flag neck hair is tingling. And this also leads me to my “I’m of the age where I give no shits” response. I would text the cleaners that they are no longer needed. A stash of money has gone missing and we can no longer take these risks. The end. NO room for excuses or explanations. Just Done.
There is no logical explanation.
Nope! 100% NOPE. I read this when you first posted and I came back today to check out the comments, and now that I’ve seen what you updated…that sub is totally stealing, and through that lens, the way everything was disposed of is exactly what you do if you’re trying to dispose of something and not get caught.
I would hate this so much for myself, but I agree with everyone who says that you have to report it to the owner. That sub is stealing from others as well. That’s their problem to deal with. You can decide whether you trust them moving forward, based on their reaction. I’d be looking for a new service, most likely. And frankly I’d be changing my locks if they have a key.