I beg of you, can we please talk about bra-shopping for teenagers? I don’t want to embarrass anyone in particular, but I went shopping with SOMEONE in the age-16 range, and I about went slap out of my mind, and we came home with nothing.
SOMEONE is slim and small-chested, and until recently has been able to get away with pull-over training bras from the Girls department, but has finally outgrown the largest size. (She actually could have used something different a year or so ago, but changing rooms were still closed at that time for the pandemic, and after ordering several batches online and returning them, I gave up.) I THINK a large part of the issue is that she is therefore unaccustomed to what a regular bra feels like. Because I doubt she is much more than a 32A, but she was claiming today that 34B was way too small/tight for her to be willing to wear it. But also: bras fit VERY DIFFERENTLY from brand to brand, so I don’t want to force her into buying some that are uncomfortable for her. But also: they DO take some getting used to, and I don’t want to buy her a bunch of too-big bras, either.
And also: she was getting pretty frustrated and wasn’t super open to the idea of trying on more. (If it is helpful: someone’s rib measurement is 28 inches, which as I understand it means we start with a band size of 32 and see how things go from there.) And also: SOMEONE is the personality type that gets kind of uncommunicative-bordering-on-mute when discouraged/frustrated; it can be very hard to find out what the Real Problem is. For example: today she had already tried on quite a few bras before she revealed that she did not know how to do the hooks. (This was communicated as “And the STUPID hooks are IMPOSSIBLE TO USE.”)
I don’t know what to do NEXT. I THINK the only thing is for her to just keep going back and trying on bras until she gets used to how they’re supposed to fit and finds some tolerable ones? But she, I mean SOMEONE, is so RESISTANT to this idea. (Though perhaps she will feel better after getting over today’s discouragement.) I wondered if those of us who were and/or have bra-wearing teenagers might have some advice.
Here are some suggestions we have already been through and/or are working on:
• What about having a clerk help her / a professional fitting? She was an absolutely Hard Pass on this. I don’t blame her—and also, I had a professional fitting once, and it was WRONG and led to a long time period of wearing uncomfortable bras before I realized I could flout that fitting and wear what felt comfy/right.
• What about sports bras? They might be more like what she’s used to, while having more support/padding than the little-girl ones. This is an option I am still working on with her. She looked at a bunch of them and rejected them, but I think there is still hope. One problem was that the store we were at had mostly the kind of sports bras that are supposed to be worn on their own with no shirt over them—more like a bra-shaped top you don’t have to wear a bra under. Another problem is that the one thing she doesn’t like about her current bralette option is that they have a sports-bra type of criss-crossed back that often pokes out of necklines, and the sports bras looked like they mostly had that kind of strappage too.
• What about [type that is comfier/plainer/softer/simpler]? You may be surprised, as I was, to find that she was most drawn toward lacy-looking ones in vibrant colors like teal and purple. In fact, I had to say no to a HEAVILY-bulked-up push-up bra. (That is the kind of thing she can buy with her own money while shopping with her friends.)
• Maybe try whatever bra you like, but in her size? I totally WOULD, but it doesn’t seem to come in her size. (It seems to have a million different listings and name variations, but I like the Playtex Balconette Underwire, which varies from about $17 to $40+ depending on color/size, which seem to mostly be out of stock. I like the fit best of the ones with an all-over pattern, rather than the ones with a different solid/patterned/lace stripe across the top.)
I am not even really sure what I am asking here! I don’t think I have specific questions, I think what I want is to be sitting around with coffee and treats, discussing it generally with other people, having people say lots of thoughts about bras and bra-shopping and their own teenaged/teenager experiences, and maybe saying what worked for them / their kids, and/or maybe saying “GAH I KNOW RIGHT??? IMPOSSIBLE” or whatever.
I think she might like “bralettes” from Aeire. They are super comfy and soft. They come with options for hooks/pull on styles and different straps. There are options for lace and different colours. I also like that they use S/M/L instead of confusing cup sizing. They’re also pretty forgiving in the sizes. Maybe this is a good option?
I was the worst bra shopper as a teen because I felt like I didn’t belong in the “grown up women that wear bras club”. I ran out of more than one fitting room crying. It wasn’t rational but I eventually came around to it when I found a friend who recommended a brand that worked for me. Hopefully Elizabeth will find something that works for her.
I also came here to recommend Aerie! They have such a wide array of styles, and good size inclusivity too. I’ve gotten traditional sports bras or underwire bras there, but also things like lacy bralettes, supportive crop tops that are somewhere between a sports bra and a shirt, options with hooks or that were pull over.
I always feel like their biggest variety is online only, but with sales and clearances they’re often super cheap, and can be returned to any American Eagle if they don’t end up working.
My teen daughter has also had good luck with Aerie. I think they still have free shipping and returns by mail on bras
Yes, my 13-year-old LOVES Aerie (she sounds more, um, developed than SOMEONE). Lots of lacy colors, very comfy fabrics. We have one at our local outlet mall that was a tad cheaper/more on sale than the website and with a decent fitting room. They also have S/M/L sizing on a lot of options that get you around the dumb “what size is my kid” situation.
Yep, Aerie was the way we went too. My daughter needed new bras during the pandemic and we bought probably around 7 different ones off the Aerie website and she loved and kept them all and says they’re very comfortable. I think she’s around the same measurements as Someone, and the small fit her.
Came on just to suggest the bralettes and bras overall from Aerie (American Eagle)!
They are not cheap but Brooks makes sports bras that have convertible straps (so can be crossed or straight), have hooks like a regular bra and come in cup sizes. I’m sure other brands do too.
What about camis with built-in shelf bras as a potential alternative?
Yesssssss to all of this. I’m sure you have already showed her the trick of turning the bra so she hooks it in the front and then rotate it and put the straps on, but in case you haven’t that may alleviate some of that particular frustration. Have you had her try the fit-finder on a website like Third Love? I think you can return/exchange for free so that may help narrow down what’s comfortable. My 12 yo daughter is generally open with me but has been extremely uncomfortable with this whole process so I feel your pain.
I gave up on bras and have not worn one consistently since high school- I’m 35- so I am useless but I read the comments with interest! (This is possibly why my back hurts)
I recently ordered from Bare Necessities. They seem to have a good mix of prices and selection and sizes, and someone might be able to pick out a selection of 7-8 bras (without her mother hypothetically hovering nearby) with the goal of keeping two, within budget, one must be practical, etc, whatever ground rules. One could then try them on in the privacy of her home with her clothes and perhaps a trusted motherly type nearby to assist with hooks and straps, etc. The packing slip also has general fit guidance that one could refer to as one assesses the fit of the bras. There’s also online chat support. I didn’t use this, as I just reorder the same bras, but that might help one determine whether and how to size up or down.
Good luck!
Bralettes all the way. I am almost 50 and I wear these almost exclusively unless I need to wear something to look pretty, and there are plenty of lacy versions of bralettes also.
https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=3351370320002&cid=34524&pcid=34524&vid=1&nav=hamnav%3AWomen%3AGapBody%3ABras&cpos=7&cexp=2415&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D34524&cvar=19365&ctype=Listing&cpid=res21080712773722200549078#pdp-page-content
That link does not look like it will resolve itself correctly – GAP body racerback bralettes. Many colors, some fun.
Also, bra fitting is straight up insane, almost everything IS uncomfortable, and I second the recommendation of searching the interwebs for bra lines exclusively for smaller busts. As someone who has been decently busty and now is NOT, the whole experience is just completely horrible in unique ways, depending on where you are on the boob scale.
YESS YESS YESS to the online option!!!! I can’t remember which company I used, but it was MAGICAL and then I just ordered more of what whatever my favorite was.
Also, I’m sure you have already reminded her of this, but if she likes the bright, lacy bras she should definitely make sure she is comfortable with how they look under a shirt. (There are no right answer to this, of course, but she should be comfortable with whatever that result is.)
There was a blog post or Twitter thread or something similar at least 6 years ago that had a lot of no nonsense bra advice that I never knew as an adult. If my computer ever restarts I will find the link I bookmarked. Perhaps some individual reading and personal research might convince your teen of some bra truths. Or perhaps some YouTube videos where she can watch and learn some things without you. Or perhaps there is a store that has bra shopping and cocktails.
I’m not yet there with bras with my 11 y/o offspring, but she is outgrowing the 14/16 child clothes. And what with more restrictive middle school clothing guidelines (insert eye roll) I need to supply her with a new wardrobe. The mention of “juniors” clothes or “misses” clothes came complete with eye rolls and annoyance and some giggly embarrassment and oh I just sympathize at this journey of shepherding our children through these ages and stages.
I also suggest Aerie, which is designed for teens. Usually the salesgirls are teens themselves but quite helpful and friendly about how the bras fit.
I have not worn a bra in probably ten years, ever since I realized that they trigger a migraine point in my mid back. And yet. Instagram refuses to accept this reality and I get served a billion bra ads every dang day. I can’t remember any brand names – because hello I don’t wear bras, I am not going to buy a bra – but, if I *were* going to buy a bra, these ads would work on me because online bra companies are making a lot of cute bras these days. If one were interested in seeing a LOT of different bra brands and styles, one could search “bra” on Instagram and probably be inundated with options. And then try them on at home in a leisurely fashion and return everything that didn’t fit the bill.
Bralettes! As K says above, they come in shirt-like sizes, they are usually pull-over style, and super cute and more grown up than the little girl styles. I rarely wear anything else anymore. Aerie has some great choices. Also take a look at Gap Body.
Also, if that doesn’t appeal because someone feels as that these are not bra-like enough, my favorite bras when I was someone’s age were all front-clasping. I speak from many years experience being small chested, it can be very hard to get the right fit. If you’ve got a lot of space between the girls, the cups can be very gappy, even if you’ve technically got the right size. A front clasping bra will usually be cut lower in front and leave less material to gape. But, my favorite wireless, unpadded, front clasping bras are impossible to find these days which is why I stick to bralettes these days.
I hate bra shopping for myself, much less someone else. My problem is that I need a bigger cup than what most stores offer. I decided that poor bra fit was making me look fat after baby #3 and went in search of new bras. i bought and returned probably more than a $1000 of bras online after going to several bra stores. Horrible experience. However I will say that trying bras on at home was less frustrating and I was able to get several styles and brands in multiple sizes to find what I liked. I also returned a lot of bras. Now a few years and another baby later I probably have to do this all over again and I’m just dreading it.
Is this something that might go better with a friend? Maybe a friend who has more experience wearing bras?
Cosabella has nice lacy bralettes. I didn’t love ThirdLove, their bands are narrow, true and co (carried by target) is very comfortable. My niece shops at Lively. I’m more of a Bravissimo lady, but that won’t help your daughter.
I don’t have a teenager but I think bra-lettes might be the answer as well. More forgiving sizing, perfect for smaller frames/busts, less oh-my-god-when-can-I-take-this-off BRA feeling, cute options.
There’s also:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/
..if reading about other people chatting about bras and how the sizing is NEVER EVER RIGHT is helpful, though it’s not geared specifically for teens.
Bra shopping sucks. Bra shopping with YOUR MOM is the worst. I’m glad bras for girls/tweens is more normalized now – my mom waited way too long to get me in a bra. I needed one when I was like, ten. She was in complete denial. To this day her excuse is “the braless look was in.” Yeahhhhhhhhhh, not for a pre-teen with B cups and on-all-the-time high beams. Pfft.
I’m sure you’ve already discussed The Purpose of Buying a New Bra with E but maybe your goals don’t line up? Does she want something more grown-up (for lack of a better word) since she is graduating from the girls section and your goal is to find her 3-4 bras that she can tolerate to check the box? My one and only bra sojourn with my mom yielded two identical beige bras that didn’t solve any of my boobage issues (they made my high beams somehow worse :( ). I was so mortified I just wanted to get out of the store, and I’m sure she did too. We both ran out of Sears like our hair was on fire.
I was coming to suggest this subreddit as well! I did the measurements a year ago, changed my size and they feel SO MUCH BETTER.
Speaking from experience–if her ribs measurement is 28 inches, she needs a band size of 30. Aerie is one of the few places that sell this size in a reasonable price. If she thinks she’s a 32A, then start with a 30B. Aerie extends free shipping (both ways!) on all bras, which is great since you can order several to try and send the rest back. They have many, many styles to choose from and also have bralettes in XS that are great. Another thing to consider is that if she has a small band size, she may also have a small band-to-shoulder measurement (I’m sure this has a name but I don’t know what it is) and that can make bras fit funny in a way that’s hard to describe.
Also, if you have an aerie store nearby, they do not stock anything smaller than a 32 in the store but they do have some you can try for size. I’m a fan of just ordering and trying at home though.
If you have a Dillard’s or a Macy’s nearby, they will also stock some 30-band sizes but they are scarce.
Signed,
a forty-something who didn’t have a bra that fit until she was 33.
Seconding all of this—a 30B or a 30C would be a good place to start. She might enjoy poking around r/ABraThatFits HERSELF to become her own expert. Or, going with a girlfriend to a Specialty Bra Shop and brunch.
But also, what are her goals for a bra? Is it just a cover her nipples? If so, try plain skintone pasties. Bras can really suck and do damage to a rib cage, and if she’s small an undershirt might be enough. If she has bounce, she’s not an A cup. With her small ribcage, it’s be easy to actually be a C or D cup and still be very small.
Make sure she knows white bras show under white shirts, and all those other useful painful things.
This is what I was coming here to say! Why are we bra shopping? No right/wrong answers, but knowing the answer might help? Is it to cover the nipples or support so they don’t hurt? Is it about how her clothes LOOK or about how her boobs FEEL? “Why bra at all?” might be a helpful starting point?
I have worn only bralette a from Victoria’s Secret Pink and Aerie for the last 5 years. I was a 34D size in regular bras. I was never happy in an underwire. They made my boobs look awesome but I was always pulling my breasts up or trying to wiggle the wires down.
I’m sure they’re just not right for everyone.
So yes, would recommend ordering lots of different styles of bralette and different sizes with the knowledge you will return all but about 3.
I often find trying them in the comfort of your own home and with multiple styles of your own clothing is best!
Good luck unnamed 16 year old!
I feel like there is a way to get the UK brand Marks and Spencer delivered to the US? If so, they make a bralette that a lot of adult women in their 30s and 40s I know have turned to these days and rejected the traditional bra. I’ve had to accept I’m a little too busty for them and that as they go up in regular sizes rather than cup sizes my boobs are proportionally too big for my rib cage for them to fit well. But I love them to sleep or lounge in still! They’re much more supportive than you might imagine, and nice looking, but light and non-restrictive. I know all the spiel about supportive bras and being properly measured etc etc but tbh at a 32 A there’s only so much support you need!
Ah being an adult person with boobs. It’s the worst, amirite?
I remember being horrified by all my options ever as a teen; I was a fat teen with smallish boobs actually so everything looked like industrial beige walls and promised to “minimize” but which really meant smoosh uncomfortably something that didn’t really need smooshing? I honestly don’t remember what I did to get over it. Now I just buy a large number of bras from the few brands I like, online, and have a try-on sesh at home. (I did a bra fitting once too and they smooshed me into very very uncomfortable bras like I don’t care if you think I should be a 38 IT HURTS so gimme a larger one PLEASE.)
Anyway, I’m sorry this is happening and I wish there was better advice but sometimes boobs just really suck.
Check out these -https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B012EODEPW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 and these – https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07116DGL6/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 or if you can find any in stores, go up a band size (to 34?) and AA cup. I’m older but let’s just say I can relate to similar fit issues.
My 11yo is at the point where things are getting visible under thinner shirts, and I’ve just had the time of my life trying to convince her that she doesn’t need the support of a bra, but she needs to wear SOMETHING under some outfits. Just Ugh.
That said. I’m a seamstress and I’ll tell you right now that the great majority of American bra companies are going to measure you wrong. I’m going to assume you don’t know the subject and vomit all the info I have; sorry if I’m overexplaining.
For bras, you only need two measurements—1) the underbust measurement and 2) the full bust measurement. Don’t add numbers to anything. If her underbust is 28″, 28 is the band size you should be starting with, maybe go up to 30. While her cup size is pretty small right now so she doesn’t really need the support as much as the coverage, the band gives almost all the support in a bra, so you don’t want to add inches there because that just loosens everything up and puts more pressure on your shoulders. (Honestly, you should hardly need the straps at all—first thing I do when trying on a bra is loosen the straps almost to the end. Once the bra is on, you tighten them enough just to get them to lay flat.)
To figure out the cup size, just subtract the full bust measurement from the underbust measurement. The difference in inches is how many cups you need to go. So, if her full bust measurement is 30″ (for instance), 30-28=2. 1=A, 2=B; the bra size you should start trying on is 28B.
If the cup size is good but the band feels too tight or too loose, you can go up a band size and down a cup size to get the same fit or vise-versa (“sister-sizing”). So if 28B is not right, try 30A or 26C. For me, I measure 35″ underbust, 42″ full bust, so I buy either a 34DDD or a 36DD depending on the style and how tight I want the band.
At her size, she doesn’t need the support of underwires at all, so I’d avoid anything with wires while she’s getting used to the feel of “real” bras. But I’m absolutely positive that it’s just that she’s not used to the feel of them rather than that they are too tight. I’d go for comfy tee-shirt bras. My favorite brand is Soma Intimates, but I’ve also noted that I’m significantly bustier than the 16yo in question so my needs are very different. I’ve also really liked the SHEFit sports bras, which are unwired and comfortable, with front zippers and adjustable bands and straps (you can velcro them to basically any size you need, and also have them crossed or uncrossed in the back. The zipper might show under close-fitting tops, though.
Also, (more for you busty ladies out there), when trying on bras, make sure you have THE WHOLE BOOB in the cup. Once you get the band in the right place, make sure you pick up each girl individually and get it situated in the cup, push all that “underarm fat” (which is really more mammary tissue) into the cup. If you can’t get it all in because underwires, you may need to go up a cup size (which will give your underwire a wider base and therefore give you more room). Ignoring the side-boob is the biggest reason why underwires are considered to be so stabby. If you get things situated right the first time, there’s a lot less adjusting that has to happen throughout the day.
Thank you for all this info! I’m reading the comments and benefiting from all this wisdom!
Oh yes when I learned about the “sister sizing” i was thrilled. It has made such a difference in my bra wearing. I have 4 bras (almost all the same) and bought them in sister sizing, and they are so comfortable. I also don’t go with underwires either.
I am gonna second the recommendation for the subreddit A Bra That Fits.
Use their calculator, measure twice, start from those size(s). I did that and ordered bras online and they fit. So weird. So amazing.
I have an almost 16 year old. My own bra-wearer was fortunate to find a comfortable, wireless bra at Target–we actually settled on the brand and style I wear. Their personality is very jokey-casual, so we just laughed our way through some preposterous bras and horrible “this will never work” try-ons. The commentary was hilarious–we chatted through the door because M is super modest and didn’t want me in the room. I do remember I enticed M to keep going with treat breaks (Starbucks, a cookie, a stop at the art store) and promised a meal of their choosing once we were successful.
However, I remember feeling very embarrassed bra shopping with my mom at that age and just wanting some privacy about my bra selection. I had a GREAT relationship with my Mom, but I was oddly weirded out by the whole thing. She ended up sending me with my older cousin. My only thought is to maybe give her a reasonable amount of money and have her go try on bras with friends if you and she are comfortable with that.
According to the annoying facebok ads I get constantly, “Pepper” is the perfect bra for small chests!
I dunno- I’m not in their target size range. Could be worth looking into.
I like these cotten bralette sports bra things- they’re comfy like a sports bra without the racerback that won’t stay under your neckline. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07KL1L7YH/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_8?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&th=1
Pepper bras are amazing. I’m a 34A and I’ve tried everything including sewing my own bras but pepper is by FAR the best. Every other bra I have worn in my life makes me scream with relief when I take it off, but with the pepper, it’s more like a sigh of transition to nighttime than actual physical relief at taking off my bra. That’s how comfy they are, and also insanely flattering. I wear a 34A and my pepper bras make me look like a B.
Also, yes to bralettes if someone doesn’t need much support. There are some cute ones at target.
Lastly, my now 20- and 21- year olds loved bra shopping, but I suspect I may have a similar situation to yours when it comes time for me ten year old to go bra shopping (it’s going to be awhile from the looks of things thank GOD, she’s my baby and I’m not ready).
Also, funny anecdote regarding methods of putting in bras. I just assumed everyone did the hooks in the front and turned the bra, but no, apparently some people like to do it the hard way, and some OTHER people do it the weird way. One of my stepdaughters said she keeps hers permanently hooked and then slides it over her head like a sports bra. The other – and I love this for some reason – also keeps hers permanently hooked, but then she steps into it like pants and pulls it up! Genius.
I second Jaida’s recommendation to secure the hooks in front and rotate – I can imagine trying to do the hooks from the back is frustrating.
Since I only had a boy, I never had to go through this which is great because I find it hard enough for ME to find a bra that I like and find comfortable. I’ve been fitted several times and I agree it is an uncomfortable experience, but it is helpful.. Wpuld she be willing to let you measure her instead?
Right before the pandemic hit, I happened upon an Olga bra that is a cross between a sports bra and a regular, wireless bra. It’s not pretty but it is pretty comfortable. In fact, I have lived in this bra throughout the pandemic.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07D1HRR98/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Is she comfortable with the idea that a lacy bra the pattern may come through – particularly with t-shirts? For me, that has always been a negative. Good luck!
I see a lot of people recommending Aerie bralettes. I have two Aerie bralettes, and had I tried them on in-store, I probably would not have bought them—I find the hooks *particularly* finicky and difficult to manipulate. This may be different in a smaller size, but I’m only in a D-cup and there are three tightly-spaced hooks—it’s a huge pain to get that middle one. Something to check before you invest!
I thought I might have an answer for you until I reached the “What about [type that is comfier/plainer/softer/simpler]?” part and read that wasn’t really desired. Still though, I will share in case anyone else has younger teen looking for something like this:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00U590E20/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
It’s called the Hanes Women’s SmoothTec ComfortFlex Fit Wirefree Bra and it was perfect transition for my also very slim, small chested 14-year old. Super duper comfy. Washes well, and much less expensive then almost every other bra we’ve tried. She likes that they are soft and easy to take on/off, I like that they have plenty of coverage but don’t have any additional padding.
Is this certain someone familiar with the idea of putting the bra on backward at the waist area to hook it, then spinning it around and putting the arms in the straps?
Thirding the recommendation for r/ABraThatFits! Tons of information, size calculator with thorough instructions on measuring properly, and suggestions for specific styles and brands. You shouldn’t need a Reddit account to view the sidebar information.
The bases seem pretty well covered here. I know I, as a 37 year old married lady, definitely would go for the bralettes if I were to suddenly wake up with the kind of chest that dainty pretty things work for…but I’m not sure that’s how I would have felt at 16. At 16, I vaguely remember that the most important things about bras were that A) the straps not show and B) no one could ever know that I had nipples – which did lead me to more padded styles. It also might be relevant that at somewhere around that age my friends and I decided to get actual fittings, and lo and behold Julie – a.k.a. “the flat one,” who had spent her whole life up to that point checking clearance racks for AA cups, was told she was a 32D and somehow she was and went home with the best fitting bras of her life.
Ugggh, no advice at all, just sympathy. I had been wearing the same brand/style of bra for about 10 years, and then I had a baby. I was busty before; now I’m like two sizes bigger and a totally different shape. I can’t find a bra that fits comfortably. Of course, I have also been unwilling to actually go try on bras in a store, so I’ve just been ordering online and grumpily wearing ill-fitting bras because I can’t get it together to return them and shop for others. So, yeah, I’m Elizabeth in this scenario. Poor both of you!
I’m here to give a shout out to True & Co bras – they are the only kind that my teen daughter will wear. Kind of a cross between a sports-bra and a bra-bra. If you have a Nordstrom in your area, they have a few styles in store to try on. But also very easy to order on line. (They also offer a cheaper/lower quality version at Target – I recommend getting the full price version – absolutely worth it.)
I haven’t read through the comments, but I had to come comment as someone who has spent the last three decades buying bras for a very small chest.
Bralettes might be what you are interested in. You can get lacy ones, you can get plain ones. They are super comfortable and very similar to the girl bras I’ve been buying for my daughter at Target.
Personally I have started buying my bras from Lively. I love their fit, although I haven’t bought their bralettes, I am at the age (and after 4 nursing babies) where I would like my tiny self to be a little bit shaplier than what I get with a bralette. They are a little spendy, so maybe more than you are looking to spend for a teen??
Also, I don’t know if anyone else has mentioned, but most new companies size different. The 28 ribcage measurement is what you might be looking for in a band. I measure 32 as a ribcage measurement and that is the band size that I get. Extrapolate for cup size from that 28. So, if she is currently trying 32As she might actually be a 28 C or D, which could be much more comfortable, once she gets passed the tightness in the chest area.
Besides Lively I also get a lot of instagram ads from Pepper, which specializes in small sizes. Or maybe GAP body?
Now, I’m going to go look through the comments and see what I can learn from the rest of you amazing people!
I had somehow (???) not even realized that this would be A Thing I would have to deal with someday, so I am sitting here quietly, sipping my coffee with wide eyes and taking detailed notes.
(For what it’s worth, a petite friend of mine loves the bras from aerie.)
I am also very small, and wore little girl sports bras all the way through college. Now that I’m a 32 year old adult woman, I’ve switched to a wire-free Warner bra, and I would much rather be wearing it than going bra-less, which is not a common sentiment, so I feel like it must be a unique bra. My rib measurement is probably around 28 also, but the smallest this one comes in is 34A and I wear it on the smallest hook and it fits great. You can find it in other places, but it seems cheapest at Target. The only drawback is it does not come in a TON of cute colors, but I’ve gotten past that.
https://www.target.com/p/simply-perfect-by-warner-s-women-s-super-soft-wirefree-bra/-/A-15729073?preselect=15728041#lnk=sametab
Third Love online quiz. Online shopping, easy returns!
It has been suggested in some of the comments, but thought I’d add it as it was the one thing that came to mind when I read the main post: have E go with an older cousin/one of her wiser friends/a young and fun aunt or something and send along extra cash for snacks and mall food. Maybe it will become a ‘fun event’ and not an awkward errand.
(Maybe have E read the reddit thing first that everyone is mentioning).
Does she need a bra for actual support or more for coverage under clothes? I’m guessing she’s finding underwire bras uncomfortable (I am, too, after a year of bralettes and lounge tops) so maybe look for wire free bras or just go for adult bralettes? Target’s line looks like a decent place to start; I’m a fan of gap body for t-shirt bras and bralettes and my current favorites are Lively bralettes.
I’d also say, play around with band/cup sizes if you got that route. If she says a size is uncomfortable, try a different one even if it doesn’t seem to make sense with what you know of sizing.
Ugggghhhh, welcome to the bras suck club, E. (I mean, SOMEONE.) She may be too young for this yet, but every 3 years or so I re-read this post, figure out my measurements, and go to Kohls to try on 30 different brands/styles at once. I’m sorry this part of life is so much effort.
https://www.epbot.com/2013/04/everything-you-never-knew-you-needed-to.html?m=1
I am dreading going with my 14 year old. After reading comments, I think I’m going to buy a bunch online, stock up on ice cream, and hope for the best!
Nthing Aerie; they’re great at bras AND underwear, and are affordable and teen-friendly. I think True & Co’s bras might work well for SOMEONE, too. They’re pricier, but I’m pretty picky and have three of their True Body Scoop Adjustable bras … By far the most comfortable bra I’ve ever owned.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned Coobie. The offer a “one size” bra (really a small and large option) bra that is pullover, has removable pads, and comes in a variety of colors and styles (with or without lace etc). They are not super high quality, but I weaned my baby at the beginning of the pandemic, and Coobie bras got me over the hump of “WHAT SIZE AM I”… ok honestly I still don’t know and I might wear the same size as a certain someone at this point, but I recommend them for comfort/covering nipplage/fun colors/ease of sizing.
I know practically nothing about bras, but these ones have been excellent for my (likely) similarly sized daughter:
Hanes Women’s Oh So Light Foam ComfortFlex Fit Wirefree Bra
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01NBSZURR
(in Small)
They’re very lightly padded and more shaping than a bralette, but comfortable, good under T-shirts, and no underwire. They’ve also held up well for a couple of years.
Looks like you’ve got plenty of advice on the bra front, I just wanted to add I have teenage ” personality type that gets kind of uncommunicative-bordering-on-mute when discouraged/frustrated” at home, too.
The bras at Aerie with no underwire but some light shaping/lining are SO comfortable and only have 2 hooks as opposed to 3, like the bralettes. Just another option!
You already got plenty of good advice. There are lots of good bralettes out there. I bought some for my 13yo when she flat out refused to try a traditional bra. During the pandemic, I also rejected traditional bras, but don’t feel comfortable without any extra coverage. I ended up buying a bunch of tanks and camis with built in cups, not just shelf bras, but actual soft cups sewn in. They give coverage and a bit of support, but not so much of the uncomfortable straps and bands. I got them from Amazon and ordered my usual t-shirt size.
Oh boy. Thoughts and prayers Swistle. Teens plus bra shopping is so hard!
In reading these comments it has reminded me that I too loved the front clasp bras when I was a teen. They were so much easier to put on and seemed cuter to me than the ones with claps in the back which felt sort of industrial and constricting.
I also wonder if she may have a bigger cup size than you realize. I think what we consider to look like a larger cup size, actually isn’t that big when the person has a small ribcage. I have a friend who I would have guessed was an A cup and was shocked to learn she is a 30D. I wear a C cup and my boobs are way bigger than hers – but my ribcage is much wider so looks can be deceiving. No wonder none of us can find comfortable bras!
My daughter is so frustrated because she thought she was all set for size/ fit/ type of bra preferred and then she started taking birth control and things CHANGED. It’s so unfair for women.
I just learned about bra ” sister sizes” and that a 32A and 30B are the same thing. So now when I have to go bra shopping I’m going to print out a chart of sister sizes so I have more options to try on to see what fits me best. Do maybe do that? I haven’t yet done it myself to see if it helps though.
Yes the sister sized became a real find for me! It gives lots of options, and sometimes make the fit so much better!
It’s been a lot of trial and error with my 14 year, who probably tried every bra type out there before settling (for now) on half sports bras and half shaped, soft underwire bras in colorful patterns. I feel like it’s an iterative process! We mostly figured it out online – I don’t think she’s ever tried a bra on in a store.
I Despise underwire, and pre-pregnancy and lactation, I was solely wearing True & Co from Nordstrom and their online store. Rib size 30, maybe 32. Highly, highly recommend! I’m still nursing, but I hope to get back into True & Co in the future. While nursing bras don’t have underwire, I also don’t love hooks. Picky! I just want to be comfortable!
Nordstrom is doing virtual fittings if she would be more comfortable with that than in person! I do think getting professionally fitted, by a good bra fitter – NOT someone at Victoria’s Secret, helps a lot. I will say that if her underbust measurement is 28″, she should not being wearing a 32 band, she should be wearing a 28 or 30 band. And cup size is (supposed to be) the difference in inches between your band and your bust size, so unless there is only an inch difference between her underbust measurement and her overbust measurement, she’s probably not an A cup. For a pull over her head, no hooks, type bra, I personally really like the Evelyn and Bobbie Defy bra – she’d probably wear a small. https://evelynbobbie.com/products/defy-bra
Another bra company that could be good for her that I’ve heard good things about (haven’t worn, I’m too busty) is The Little Bra Company – their band size does go down to a 28 https://www.thelittlebracompany.com
Also helpful is the Facebook group – Properly Fitting Bra Club – lots of helpful professional bra fitters and interested, educated amateurs in there.
We are not quite there yet (daughter is 11 and can still wear a cami or the very basic girls bra).
I have heard great things about Aerie and plan to give that a try when we need it.
Also… There are some stores (Target being one of them) that have bras in the regular department but they say “teen” or some sort of designation like that. They are meant for smaller figures and often work for me (I generally wear 34B but don’t necessarily fill that out depending on the bra style). We have a department store in my area called Boscov’s that also has that section so I am thinking other department stores may have that too?
Hope you find something that works!!
Based on my experience as a teen, I would send her with a friend to find what works. For whatever reason shopping with friends is fun while shopping with mothers can be fraught (for inexplicable/unfair reasons). She might buy the lace teal monstrosity but that is part of being young.
My tween is about to outgrow the Justice ones I got her and I’ve been wondering what’s next. (The “new” Justice apparently doesn’t sell bras with actual band/cup sizing.)
I loved Aerie as a young adult, so maybe I’ll try there for her!
During COVID I needed bras in a new size for myself and like you mentioned, there were no fitting rooms open to try on. I decided to try Amazon’s Prime Wardrobe. Do you do that? It’s free with your Prime membership. You can choose up to 8 items, they send them in a resealable box/bag, you have a week to try them out and then you just send back what you don’t want. You just pay for whatever you keep (if anything). I love having the chance to try a bra on under all different types of tops, wear it around for an hour to see if it digs in anywhere, stretches out, etc. Soooo much better than a quick on and off in the dressing room!! I LOVE Prime Wardrobe for bras, swimsuits, jeans and shoes — things that need a little bit of “worn time” to see how it’s going to work for you.
As a mild cautionary tale, when my 17 (then 16) yo moved on from a soft (regular) bra & wanted an underwire, I bought her the same as mine but a few sizes smaller (2 band, 2 cup). Recently I mixed them up in the laundry and unknowingly wore hers, completely puzzled as to how my boobs had suddenly exploded in size. 😁
I want to recommend that she try Natori bras – I have found them to be comfortable and well-fitting for smaller sizes (though I wear a larger cup size in that brand than I do in others), and they are relatively pretty and invisible through clothes. They are normally quite expensive, but on sale ($30ish) through today (Sunday) at Nordstrom. Might be worth a shot! The thought of getting a professional fitting would have mortified me as a teenager, too, but was a godsend for adult me. Good luck!
As a teen, I went straight from sports bras to Victoria’s Secret underwire (bizarrely, they felt a whole lot more comfortable, since they didn’t migrate at all like the no-wire ones did and there were some that fit just right), *but* got the VS bras during their semi-annual sales via the method of “grab 12 bras, try them all on, if any fit decently, retain, go out and grab 12 more bras, repeat.” Different colors/patterns/styles fit differently, so it was a matter of “which of these bras *in the same size* fit vs. not-fit.
Anyway, this was my method for years, and via that method I ended up with bras I could wear for literally 24 hours without thinking about them.
And then I had a health issue and things sized down and I did a desperate bra-hunt at Target and the *only bra that fit* was a padded lift bra that had orange and purple plaid mesh over the cups and little lace wings on the top of the straps but I bought that sucker because it was the only one that fit. And now I cannot find a bra that does not migrate, period, and it is truly obnoxious. (although: I have not tried the grab-all-the-bras, try-them-on, repeat method again. Maybe that would work. But it is not feasible during a pandemic, anyway. I *have* tried a ton of buy-online, return bras, but not the sheer volume you can get through in half an hour at VS during a semi-annual sale when they’re not hovering over you and you can just try on armfuls of bras one after another.)(I should also note that I separated the “likely” from the “nope” ones and then did a longer try-on of each of the “likely” ones, where I put each likely bra on properly [lift breasts fully into cup, adjust straps], then did touch-the-toes, reach up high, sit down, stand up sorts of maneuvers to check which of the “likely” ones stayed put and didn’t do weird gapping/squashing. Trying on literally 50 bras and coming out with two or three that fit well was a success.)
So, I guess:
1. expect only 1 in 20 bras you try on to fit acceptably; this is not your body’s failure, it’s just that there are a lot of aspects to a bra that need to match up to your body.
2. try all the different styles/colors in a range around your expected range (and if things at one end of the range seem to fit better than things at the opposite end of that range, move your range!)
3. and sometimes even that will not work because now you have more space between your breasts than any manufacturer is expecting and so your bra cups just don’t ever fit, and condolences, but
4. when you *do* end up with the most comfortable bras also being bizarre (note: the teal lace monstrosity might have actually been more comfortable than the other options), sure, fine. But adjust your outer clothing to cover that fact up (I leaned towards heavier fabrics; wearing a camisole under your shirt and over your bra also works for some bras), or you may end up with years of teasing about your bra choice on a particular day. And then also use the weirdo bra in the store to find “plain” bras that are more likely to fit [eyeball the comparative between-cup and cup-wire-size things, but seriously, sometimes the beige bras and the white bras and the black bras *each fit slightly differently* and I hate this].
Good luck to both of you. But also, when I found a bra that was legitimately comfortable, I *knew* it even though I’d been wearing sports bras for two years, so yes, it is possible it’s just the “I do not like an elastic band around my ribcage” thing, but it’s also possible that she hasn’t found a bra that fits yet. And hooks get less tricky with time and practice, although also some hooks are simply better-designed than others. And hand wash your underwires [or use a bra-saver contraption for the washing machine] or they may get bent and then you have to go through the whole thing all over again auuuugh. Bras. So good when they’re good, so bad when they aren’t…
I AM IN THE SAME BOAT. WE WILL PADDLE TOGETHER!
I just went shopping with a 13 year old, who was more willing than she was in the past, when she would burst into tears at the thought of a b-r-a. But darned if we could find anything small enough for a young, small teen that wasn’t padded or nothing more than a handkerchief held together with dental floss. Why do so many brands starts a 34 or 36? Do they not think teens can develop early? Because I beg to differ. And seriously, what is will the padding? I don’t care if it’s just “lightly padded.” she’s 13. We do not need to draw more attention to the chestular area. Sports bras a groovy under t-shirts, but if she wants to wear a top r dress with a more open neckline, those don’t work. ARGH. Sigh.
Check out True and Co at Target:
https://www.target.com/p/true-co-true-everybody-women-s-adjustable-strap-scoop-neck-bra/-/A-54236891?preselect=54200922#lnk=sametab
I am small chested and rejected traditional bras… almost a decade ago, I guess. I buy the Coobie one size bra, which is more like a supportive half camisole. It provides enough support for my every day needs and plenty of coverage. They come in pretty colors and some have a lacy edge. They are great for a little coverage under a neckline that is too low or where underarms gape a bit – a common problem in one piece outfits when you have a small rib cage and breasts, but grown woman hips. And the pretty colors allow me to coordinate so the peek a boo looks like a fashion choice. I generally find them more comfortable with the padding, but it easily comes out when I want them out. They pull over my head like a sports bra and I even wear them under tanks for yoga or walking. (I have real sports bras for anything more.) I did have one more formal dress that seemed to require a traditional bra cut and I had to go buy a bra for that, but I can’t remember any other time I wasn’t perfectly happy with my Coobie.
I was the WORST bra shopper as a teen, largely because I had some (at that point) unidentified Gender Stuff in addition to Sensory Stuff that I’ve since identified. My mom was also very, “we need two high quality bras in nude colors from a reputable underwear company sold at Kohl’s” and I was not so it was just conflict on top of conflict. What ended up working was my mom giving me $50 and dropping me off at the mall alone so that I could browse and shop without anyone watching me or providing commentary (this says more about my relationship with my mother than it does about bras). I ended up buying some pretty terrible bras before I found what worked (Target bralettes, still my favorite) but the process suited me. I guess my point is that bra shopping is a trial of errors no matter what. Hopefully SOMEONE will find something that she likes very soon and with minimal struggle!
Ohhhhh, I just had a revelation re: why I might be getting so many ads on Facebook for bras for small-chested women, which I am decidedly not (frequently, on catching sight of myself on Zoom this year, “WHY is there SO MUCH BOOB?). I’ve ordered multiple bralettes from multiple stores online for my daughter and apparently Big Brother thinks he knows by boob size now. Sigh.
Anyway, I still have a tween, and we are still in the “bralette, and don’t you dare call it a ‘bra,’ Mom,” phase, so I can’t be of much help there. I will say that I got properly fitted by a professional (Nordstrom’s, I think) before my wedding, and it turned out I had been wearing a too-large band with a too small cup since I was a teen shopping for bras primarily at Target. Knowing my correct size (which has added a second letter since pregnancy, haha) really did help me find more bras that were comfortable for me, even though I hadn’t realized that I WAS uncomfortable until I got correctly sized. Not helpful for your situation with SOMEONE at the moment, but I do think it’s valuable advice for new bra wearers overall.
For a similar-to-girls’-style bralette, my teen liked these Jockey Generation bras (they used to have them at Costco but now only at Target: https://www.target.com/p/jockey-generation-women-s-seamfree-air-bralette/-/A-53048071). Someone also suggested the Cloud 9 bra to us (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07CD2PK2K/) which I think fit fine but my kid is a creature of habit and generally just wears the other ones all the time. We also did moderately well for a special occasion bra at Aerie, both for their teen-friendly sizing/styling and for the shopping experience that included dressing rooms that had positive messages on sticky notes and a curtain you could pull to cover the mirror if you didn’t want to watch yourself change. (Somehow that last bit felt more empowering and body positive in action than it feels in writing…)
No advice, but I remember hating bra shopping and I wore a sports bra much longer than I should have because I didn’t understand how bras were supposed to feel. It felt very weird to have the cups separate and accentuate my boobs instead of smooshing them down like sports bras.
My teen girls were very into lacy, long line bralettes. The youngest (14) will still wear them. In our house, they are sometimes worn under clothing, and sometimes are the shirt of the day. Youngest is a 34 A, middle kid is a 30 A, and oldest is a 30 B/C. I no longer buy the older teens bras, and yes, they have moved on to the teal underwires stage.
Seconding/thirding/whatever the suggestions of Aerie and Gap Body – they’re aimed at younger people so will probably fit better. I think the general cup/band size system leaves out so many variables! I wore them myself a decade or two ago, and they don’t work as well on my 30+ body as they did when I was 18. Gap Body in particular makes regular t-shirt bras that are wireless, so they still have a normal band and hooks but are lighter and more comfortable for smaller chests. Those might be a good intermediate step?
Plus, they’re usually in regular Gap and American Eagle stores, so shopping is less awkward – she can grab some jeans, some shirts, some bras. Normal shopping rather than Bra Shopping With Her Mother.
I only have a minute so I’m sorry if I’m repeating another comment, but Someone in my house who is of very similar age to your Someone likes the lacy bralettes from Gap Outlet – the longer version that has a couple of inches of lace below the band. I hope they still exist and are of use to Someone.
Holy Hell did you take my daughter shopping?? LOL – i think I have twin if you also have this same daughter. We just had to finally go into Aerie and i made her try on lots – she likes a bralette style with lots of straps – and they don’t show when she has her tshirts on – don’t know if you’ve tried that or if she’s just afraid to try that for fear of straps showing. GOOD LUCK
Opposite problem here – Baby’s got BOOBS – but GAH I KNOW, IMPOSSIBLE RIGHT? Actually though, even her and her large-chested friends like Aerie. Victoria’s Secret has been a godsend for us (they have small bras with large cups, which is useless information for you, I just want to feel included). Godspeed.
My daughter isn’t that age yet, but I have TERRIBLE luck finding bras that fit me, and this is my go to “not really a sports bra but definitely wire-free, and with a basic shape that fits well under standard shirts/sleeveless tanks, and not PADDED but enough lining to definitely keep nipples from showing through, and also the sizing is really flexible” bra ;) I’ve bought it in a variety of colors/patterns over the years, sometimes from Amazon and sometimes from Kohl’s. It’s another one that seems to sometimes change names, but the photos are usually consistent so I can figure out which one it is without having to go try anything on again ;) It might not be the ultimate bra solution, but it could be a good intermediate option while you wait for the stamina and gumption to try shopping again ;)
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GGL6S30/
Trying to work on a solution to a problem with a frustrated, uncommunicative teen is a challenging, to say the least. Solidarity from a fellow teen mom!
What about giving her your credit card and a budget (you can spend up to $50 or $200 or whatever is the price you are willing to pay to be left out of this errand) and turning her loose in the store by herself or with a friend. Then she can just buy the purple and teal push-ups or some combination of things without the mom-daughter dynamic.
Also I meant to type $100 because that is the upper level I’m willing to let my kid spend without supervision , but I would hope it would only cost like $50.
I apologize if someone has mentioned this, but there are too many comment for the time I have! My favorite bras have always been hand me downs. A lot of times they’re expensive bras that I never would have purchased new. My current favorite is one I found at a local thrift store (yes, I’m a #thrifteverything kind of person) and it’s similar to the one at the link. It’s soft, wire-free, makes my boobs look good, and stretchy. And probably inexpensive because Hanes. https://www.hanes.com/hanes-ultimate-no-dig-support-smoothtec-wirefree-bra.html
I have worn pretty much exclusively sports bras for around 20 years, with the only exceptions being when I needed nursing bras instead. I decided at one point that I’d try to go back to regular bras again and I went and got a professional bra fitting at a specialty store, but when I dubiously bought the recommended size the bands were so uncomfortably tight they left angry red marks around my torso and I abandoned the idea and went back to my sports bras. Sadly my go-to ones (which I own in about 5 different colours) are getting stretched-out and need replacing, so I’m back to looking for at least a new sports bra that I like as much. The straps showing are definitely something that I’d like to eliminate, so maybe I’m looking for some sort of hybrid that isn’t a T-back or racerback? No padding for sure, since I’ve read a few scary articles about the material used in the foam being carcinogenic and while it could just be alarmist, it’s not something I’d like to take a chance on.
I’ll definitely be checking the links upthread!
I just wanted to nth the suggestion of wireless bralletes as a good transition from training bras. I HATED bra shopping (and was so resistant!) as a tween/ teen, and I wish I’d know about bralletes then. In fact, as a small chested (though plus size) adult, I switched exclusively over to them once I discovered them. They seem much less intimidating (and comfier) to adult me, so I imagine they might to a teen as well. Plus, you can often find them in fun colors/patterns/lace.
I don’t have a good brand suggestion (see again: plus size – though if any one else is looking for plus sizes, Torrid has some good ones), but I wish you and Someone happy hunting!
PS – Teen me never got comfortable with bra shopping, but my mom turned bra shopping into A Special Day Out (where bra shopping was not the only focus) rather than An Annoying Errand/ Chore, and it helped me be less resistant. I know that’s harder during pandemic times, but maybe bras and ice cream (or treat of choice) might go over better than bras alone?
Has anyone recommended a front-closing bra?
My experience was quite different from someone’s in that I went from a training bra in spring of 4th grade to a c-cup in fall of 5th. But I remember that there were lots of terrific front-closure bras without underwires for smaller-chested folks. Taking a brief look today, I can see that Hanes and Bali still do have front closing bras, can’t tell if they are underwire. I think looking for a single clasp in front is the best way to go.
XOXOX
No help on the shopping with a teenager for bras front, but I still hate shopping for bras! I went from being very flat chested until my late 20’s (when I got married I could have passed for a boy), and then gained weight and went to a 36 bra size. I finally found some bras that are comfortable and work well. But it wasn’t until I discovered sister sizes that I found them.
A couple of observations:
1) I have had the front closing bras…make sure it is secure (although SOMEONE probably won’t have an issue). I was student teaching in front of 25 adults when my bra popped open, oh my goodness!
2) Trying on bras in a store is bad enough by yourself, but with Mom probably can be worse. I also don’t know if going with friends would help or not
3) I think the whole puberty and breast development is a challenging time in life and sometimes you might have to remind yourself, this too shall pass.
Good luck in the bra department!
I know a 17yo someone who is very resistant to bras. She still wears the pull-over-your-head sports-type ones. But I did have some success with this type of thing from Uniqlo (no idea if you have Uniqlo in the US, and apologies for the link being in French; I live in France and no matter what site I try, it automatically puts me on the French site). It’s basically a caraco with a sort bra-like bit integrated into it. Very comfortable, no hooks, pretty colours…
https://www.uniqlo.com/fr/fr/product/caraco-airism-soutien-gorge-integre-femme-432472.html?dwvar_432472_color=COL33&dwvar_432472_size=SMA001&cgid=IDbratops1435&hassubcat=false
I’m catching up on old posts and I know you have lots of ideas here (Aerie has also always been a good place for my favourite bras, haha). But I want to also suggest an online company I ordered from a few times (they’re American and I’ve ordered as a Canadian and have had success). They’re called Coobie Bras and they are SO comfortable. I wore them as a small chested lady but they had stretch so I even wore them into the start of my pregnancies. So size wise they fit a variety, and they come in fun colour choices. I really like them. https://shopcoobie.com/