It’s been a stressy-but-productive week. I’m back to work, which is making me feel exhausted and busy, and the schedule change is stressful; and the housecleaners came back, which was stressful even though it was also great; and now that I am more than two weeks past my second Covid-19 vaccine I am going to a lot of overdue appointments (pap, physical, and soon mammogram and dentist); so I am just feeling very…well, I guess “exhausted and busy” from earlier in this sentence still applies.
And ALSO: I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that Rob is planning to go live with my parents for a couple of months, for fun and research: he said he wanted to spend some time with them; and he’s starting to think about where he might want to live after he graduates next spring, and one possibility is the area of the country where my parents live. And we (I am using that pronoun a little vaguely, because it was probably mostly “I” but when we talked about it he did agree) wanted him to get all caught up on appointments (doctor, dentist, optometrist) before he went—but he had let his driver’s license expire, so that was stressing me out (particularly because it turned out he never updated his address on the license, either, so that had to be done as well, but the form only seemed to allow EITHER an address change OR a renewal of an expired license), and also meant he couldn’t drive himself to his own appointments so I had to drive him and then wait out in the car, and also meant an additional appointment for the driver’s license. (One might ask why he did not book the driver’s-license-renewing appointment FIRST. Well, he just DIDN’T.)
But at least we have had unqualified success: he made all the appointments “we” wanted him to make (TONS of good adulting practice there, as it turned out, with him needing to ask me questions such as what is a PCP and who is the “subscriber” on his health insurance and what is his father’s birth year); he went in to each of them on his own; and now his driver’s license is renewed so if there are any further errands he can manage them without me.
And so far my own appointments are going well: pap normal, see you in three years; physical went well, bloodwork all looks good, I got a tetanus booster. The nurse made a big praisey deal about me losing some weight (it’s the 15 hours per week of an Active Library Job, plus the appointment was first thing in the morning, plus I was fasting for bloodwork, plus I was a little dehydrated, plus the last time I was weighed was the day after a Day Off from keto), which I hate but as a co-member of our shared society I understood she intended her remarks to be pleasing to me. My doctor once again handled the topic in a way I appreciate: she asked gently if I’d lost the weight on purpose, asked some questions about stress/anxiety/depression, added a thyroid check and vitamin D check to the bloodwork she was ordering, etc.: in short, treated it like a possible medical symptom, rather than as an Objective Good.
I am so impressed with your doctor; very few would be as thoughtful and diligent about such a question. Wow, I am exhausted just reading about your week. All those appointments!
Your doctor needs to give a seminar to … all the other doctors … on how to address patients’ weight loss. What an amazing and affirming approach! I am impressed.
Rob is going to make some great memories living with your parents. They will all learn a great deal and he will treasure that time, no matter how it goes.
I am so excited for Rob – that sounds like a wonderful adventure.
And exhausting and busy seems about right – so many appointments! Plus work! Plus housecleaner stress! I hope things settle down soon.
It’ll feel great when all those appointments are taken care of! And so excited you’ve got your second dose :)
I’ve been stressing out over a decision – taking a part time diploma program. I already have a bachelors degree but found out afterwards that I don’t want to work in management. Anyways, at the moment I work part time from home which is ideal since I have 2 young kids but if I go back to school when the youngest is in school a bit more I would have to give up working. This means I need to figure out how to pay for these classes. Because it’s a p/t program I don’t qualify for bursaries. Why is post secondary so expensive in North America?!
What an adventure for Rob and your parents! They will treasure this time with him, I’m sure.
I’ve been thinking that I need to start setting up some appointments myself – so thank you for the prompt.
I can’t even with the thought of going back to work full time in the office, just the thought exhausts me.
I’ve lost 30 pounds and I am DREADING going in for my check-up! Dreading. Because I’m very afraid that someone is going to CONGRATULATE me and I’m going to say something horrible and ugh. If they don’t mention in, they aren’t doing their job because what if I have a parasite? But if they do mention it in a congratulatory way then I am defensive because my BODY IS FINE, HOW DARE YOU! Ugh. Dreading.
I have been heading that crap off at the pass: “I have lost some weight, it was a not particularly welcome side effect of this other thing I was doing, so I don’t think it’s a symptom to be concerned about, but neither am I happy about it. Can we just get my weight, note it in the chart, and not cheer about it?”
I like the sound of your doctor! My doctor seems just fine, but a good friend of mine told me this weekend that she has extremely high blood pressure and her doctor was refusing to treat it until she lost 50 lbs. She went to donate blood and after the routine blood pressure check she was told that she couldn’t donate because her blood pressure was so high, and they were so concerned they had her referred to a specialist, and that specialist had some very displeased words to say about her doctor, who was essentially holding my friend hostage to her weight and putting her in medical peril.
So… yeah, my outrage is fresh and you mentioning how reasonable your doctor is about weight gave me the excuse I needed to share it!
I hope your friend will lodge a complaint at whatever medical entity is responsible. Withholding medical care is and actively causing harm for whatever reason should be considered a lose-your-license level offense for a doctor (though I don’t know if it actually is). If he’s done it to your friend, he’s done it to others.
I usually look askance at the willingness to sue others in the US, but this is a case where I hope your friend will at least get some consultation about going that route. Not treating high blood pressure (even just “normally” high bp, not already critically elevated like in the case of your friend) can have life-threatening/life shortening consequences. And in this case, it wasn’t just neglect, but malicious neglect. Definitely sounds like a malpractice suit to me.
I’m so glad she saw a specialist who is now actually treating her. I’m overweight myself and have made the experience, too of being seen as a patient not worthy of proper consideration because they think it’s my weight causing problems (instead of, like it’s actually the case, the other problems causing weight gain) and think if I just wanted to lose weight, it would all go magically away. But at least I never had a doctor actively go punitive and blackmailing me by leaving me in medical peril (and what a pitiful thing to have to be thankful for that is).
I’m not sure how my friend has handled the issue with her original doctor, but as we’re in Canada we’re not very litigious. It’s more likely she’d report it to whatever entity governs professional behaviour by doctors here (though thankfully I’ve never had to look that up). She’s someone who really always makes an effort to do the right thing, but is also very much an optimist, so I’m not sure where she’s landed on further actions to take with respect to her doctor. If I hear anything more I’ll report back!
Wow that is horrendous! I gained a bunch of weight, which may have caused my BP to go up and maybe that was why I needed the blood pressure meds. SO I was prescribed it, because I needed it. Now that I’ve lost some weight I might not need as much of it. But if you have High Blood Pressure for whatever reason you should never be withheld for the meds…and never be told you have to lose weight first before you get the meds you need. It doesn’t even make sense! I hope she reported that doctor.
Oh my goodness! I keep hearing about doctors doing that and it’s absolutely malpractice
I love your doctor.
Very good report! Speaking of life getting back to normal, one blog post I wish you’d write is your thoughts in retrospect post-pandemic on moving to the new house. Like did you spend the whole time of 7 of you in the house saying to yourselves, this was the luckiest best idea to have a bigger house since who knew we’d have to spend so much time together here, and the layout is so much better for all to work from home and have school from home? Or was it like, one more big stressful change in the midst of an odd year? I ask this because we live in a small apartment in Paris (well, normal-sized for Paris 900 sq feet which is usual for a family of 4 and we are only 3, but I am used to American-sized houses), and in the summer of 2019 we decided to buy a weekend house with a big yard in a little village (significantly cheaper option that upgrading for a few more sq ft in the city). And we have spend the entire pandemic feeling SO LUCKY about this timing, that we were not squished into our little apartment near so many neighbors, and instead spent the confinement in the beautiful countryside. The pandemic is slower to wind down here than in the US, but it is finally getting there (I got my first vaccine 2 weeks ago) and I am still so grateful to have the countryside escape.
That is encouraging about the doctor! I saw a new doctor Friday for my first physical in quite some time, and it was a fine, brief experience. But some of my bloodwork needs some attention and I am awaiting his call to really develop my opinion of him. I hope it goes as well as yours!
Also, this does sound like a very exhausting week! Last week I had both a new dentist and a new doctor appointment in addition to working full time and it was Very Much A Lot.
One thing I found humorous was the new doctor is linked with the hospital system, and I have had no reason to visit any doctor except my non-hospital-affiliated GYN since the birth my child, 4 years ago. For some reason their system was still holding onto all the meds I was taking immediately post-birth. Am I still taking oxycodone? No, why would I possibly be? Prenatal vitamins? Also no.
Well… the nurse called and recited my bloodwork and that the doctor had already called in a medication for the one bit of concerning bloodwork and I need to start taking it daily and check back in a month. No other options or discussions. And the doctor had said HE would call. That was not especially satisfactory.
Ugh. This is just a reminder that I need to make a bunch of appointments for myself. I’m overdue for basically everything – pap, mam, colonoscopy (turned 50 last year). I do not really want to do any of them. At what age is it ok to stop going to the doctor and let nature take its course?
“… as a co-member of our shared society” is a phrase that I didn’t know I needed until I read it and now I don’t know what I did without it for 36 years. That is EXACTLY how I felt every single time someone asked me if I was having a boy or a girl and what I wanted to say was, “the doctor hasn’t yet detected a scrotum” but what I said was, “we’re waiting to find out!”