Imagine you have a friend, and you see that she is sad and stressed and upset, and you say “Oh dear, why are you so sad and stressed and upset??,” and she looks at you, her tear-filled eyes full of suffering as well as the aforementioned tears, and says in a quavering, about-to-fall-apart voice, “Because people are coming tomorrow to clean my house for me!! so that I won’t have to do it myself!!,” and collapses into fresh sorrow and distress. How ridiculous. It is I: your ridiculous friend Swistle.
This evening I wondered if honestly I don’t prefer to just clean the house myself. Is it SO BAD? especially now that it’s been over a year and I have a bit of a system going? Which would I rather do right now: go through the rest of this evening fretting senselessly about tomorrow morning, and then go through tomorrow morning—or clean three toilets and be at peace? I’d rather clean three toilets. But ask me again tomorrow mid-day, when the cleaners will be gone and my house will be clean, and it will be the longest possible time before going through all this again. And when I will be looking ahead to day after day of not having to clean three toilets or three bathroom floors, not having to vacuum or damp-mop, not having to move everything off the kitchen counters to wipe them thoroughly, not having to deeply resent everyone I married and everyone I gave birth to. Someone else will have taken care of all of that / partially prevented some of that.
ROTFL: “It is I…” hahaha!
Lol!!! At least you are self aware :-)
I have this too. I hate that every two weeks, I have to pick up all the clutter all around our house and put enough away that the cleaners can actually clean. And of course, I never feel like I’ve done enough, and there’s still piles of things, and our house isn’t as nice/clean/perfectly decorated as the other houses they must clean. But then I remember that this means that every two weeks, I do pick things up and put them away, when otherwise it would just continue to pile up while I ignore it. And, it means that my husband and children also help put things away bc “the cleaners are coming” is a reason to pick up while “mom asked me to” is somehow not. As much as I hate hate hate the whole cycle, it is such a luxury to have everything clean and then I don’t have to worry about it again for at least another week and a half. You can do this! Just do your best this time, and remember that for the next visit, you can get even more sorted and tidied.
YES HOUSECLEANING IS HAPPENING!
You will understand that I have been going through this very same thing, but will continue to do so until Friday. I almost cleaned the shower today – my most hated chore! – because I don’t want her to think… what? That my shower and I obviously need her services???? I did spend two hours yesterday cleaning my daughter’s room though. That was too much to ask of anyone.
It is all going to be GREAT.
I have a housecleaner, not because it is too hard to clean my own house but because I neither want to fight with my husband or hate him quietly.
This exactly 100% spot on dead accurate.
SAME
As someone who just looked around the bathroom that has not been cleaned in far too long and was very much resenting the people I married and gave birth too. I feel this! Because if someone was coming to do it tomorrow, I would be aghast at the state of the bathroom on their behalf BUT after they left I would want to kiss them.
We don’t have people that come. And we are so cluttered, ugh.
Good job you for having the people!
Also, the ones here who advertise on the FB pages like to post before and after pictures of stoves that are way worse than mine in the before and look brand new in the after, and I think they are people who totally dig being able to do that.
I have a cousin who totally zens on cleaning and why she has never started a business doing it, I don’t know. She walks into her sister’s house and immediately straightens the linen closet (she can fold a fitted sheet, her sister cannot/does not). If she sets foot in your house, it is cleaner when she leaves. It’s her thing.
Let them do their thing!
I think this comes down to personality type! Would you rather do one VERY annoying thing every few weeks on a schedule, or do one short annoying task at varying intervals with no schedule?
Personally I prefer option 1, both for house-cleaning and…leg waxing. TMI, I know!! But I would rather show up to a scheduled appointment every couple of weeks than have to remember to shave on regular intervals. During COVID every shower has become “what is the weather tomorrow? do I need to shave? can I make it another day?” and the constant THINKING instead of being on a schedule has driven me bonkers.
I tried to reply to you but it was posted as a new comment! Scroll down!
Oh no. Swistle. In my move to a house I didn’t want, on behest of a spouse who DID want, I was supposed to negotiate for house cleaners. I did not. And everyone who was “totally going to help me clean” is NOT. Things are not good and this house is very big.
I am in my 50s and planning to move to a continuing care retirement community sometime after I retire. My husband is not sold, That is fine; I will move without him because I cannot endure another few decades of being the only one who notices things and gets stuff done (he does laundry (I help), does a weekly top clean of the house (I do the deep cleaning), and hires the yard guys). Sign me up for scheduled maintenance and cleaning and dinner planned, shopped for, made, and cleaned up after by someone else.
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/
Back in the dark ages when I cleaned houses, I MUCH PREFERRED houses that needed cleaning–there was a satisfying sense of having accomplished something.
(And everyone judged weird things–I was judgy about people’s books, or the lack thereof. My cleaning partner got sniffy when clients seemed snotty [and a little bit about the real estate value of the house? but in unpredictable ways. Mostly, she liked a house if it was one she’d want to buy]).
Swistle, you are singing the song of my people.
I used to feel guilt about the state of my house and pre-clean. Now I just melt into a grateful puddle of gratitude when I return home to my beautiful house that got that way without me doing it.
Think of it like childbirth: the only way out is through but it will only last a few hours, and you will be so happy when it’s over!
HAAAA, I read this last night after my husband and I had a fight about how he needed to help me tidy up for the housecleaner.
We have just started using a housecleaner (every two weeks). I think one of the best things is that it forces us to clean up all our clutter on a regular basis! I’m SO happy, though, that the cleaner comes while I’m at work and my husband is home so I don’t have to be around while someone else cleans my house. I find it SO uncomfortable. My husband doesn’t seem to have the same discomfort about someone cleaning up after him…AHEM.
If you live in my time zone (EDT), it is now “tomorrow mid-day”… well? What’s the verdict?!? Glad they came? Prefer to not bother anymore? I am dying to know!
If you’re used to waxing, I highly recommend getting an epilator. Less painful than waxing, able to do it on your own schedule, quick and convenient, lasts way longer than shaving, and saves $$ in the long run.
I found it ouchy at first, but got used to it and it doesn’t bother me at all now and my hair is finer and thinner so I only need to do it once a month, give or take a week depending on season. When I’m done my legs tingle rather pleasantly. Note that is is only a personal account and your own mileage may vary.
Well dang, this was meant to be a reply to @rosie further up!
Brand/type/etc. recommendations? I once tried looking and got lost in the weeds of the reviews…
I bought a Braun Silk-épil years ago (more than 10 years probably) and I like it enough that when my daughter hit puberty and asked for something similar I bought her a more recent version of it. I’ve just started thinking about replacing mine and would get the same.
Note I only use mine on my legs. I still shave my armpits every few days, but I just dry-shave with a cheap disposable razor over the sink before I shower and it’s fast and easy.
I love epilating! I’ve been epilating since college (20 years ago). I typically epilate every couple of weeks or so. Since the hair is pulled out by the root, it grows back fine and not as stubbly as shaving. Sometimes the hair does not grow back at all which I’m totally okay with. It stings a little the first few times and can seem a bit loud and obnoxious but it won’t cut you. I like the Braun and Philips brands.
This is how I feel about hiring a babysitter. I agonize about texting the babysitter, agonize waiting for the babysitter to text back (half hoping she will say she’s busy), agonize about everything I have to do before the babysitter comes, and agonize about how interactions will go with the babysitter when she arrives and when it’s time for her to leave/be driven home. And then wonder if it wouldn’t be better to just stay home.
And, I should add, not a bit of this is me worrying about the kids’ safety. This is not “something horrible could happen to my children while I’m gone” agonizing, it’s “someone will be in my house and I will have to interact with them in unfamiliar ways” agonizing. I feel absurd, but we have mostly relied on grandparents for the past 10 years, despite some genuine issues we’ve had with their babysitting.