I am so glad I placed some Mother’s Day orders for myself. At the time of the orders, I felt…silly, and self-indulgent, and like I didn’t even CARE that much about Mother’s Day, so why do this? And now, as Mother’s Day looms, I feel relieved and happy to have things on their way. I ordered some pastries for breakfast (something we will ALL enjoy), and I ordered some chocolates for all-day snacking (something we will ALL enjoy), and I ordered OPI Cajun Shrimp nail polish (something at least two of us will enjoy) after seeing a discussion on Twitter about how it was the best summer pedicure polish color ever. Oh, and I ordered another box of Saint Siffrein fruit jellies (I am planning a whole post on fruit jellies, but I am still in the testing phase; so far these are my hands-down favorites); they probably won’t be here in time, but just knowing they’re ON THEIR WAY is happy enough, and besides, we’ll have the pastries and chocolates.
I DON’T care all that much about Mother’s Day, but I DO care about dreading it, and about feeling upset and resentful and unloved/unappreciated. And, as with Valentine’s Day (which I didn’t care much about either, until even small easy plans were apparently too much), this is to some extent within my power to change, and I’m the only one having a bad day, and I’d rather not spend another Valentine’s/Mother’s Day wishing I hadn’t married and hadn’t had children, and simultaneously feeling like it’s spoiled and entitled of me to want anyone to do anything, so. Last year for Mother’s Day, I told them all ahead of time that they shouldn’t try to do anything, because the pandemic made things too dangerous, and that what I’d like to do is watch Knives Out at home and have popcorn and candy (something we would ALL enjoy); and we did that. And that made a nice transition to this year, when I said I wanted to do that again with a different movie. And then we discussed what would be done for dinner, the way we do for birthdays, for Father’s Day, etc., and I said we could order pizza (easy, and something we’d ALL enjoy), and Paul suggested lasagna and rolls, both of which he makes, and I said yes. And I ordered the pastries, and the chocolates, and the nail polish. We are going to have a nice day dammit, and they are going to think of Mother’s Day as a fun day when we do fun things and have treats.
And then, the day after Mother’s Day, I am going back to my library job. I am having to continually remind myself that I WANT to go back, that I LIKED my job—because right now I am panicking. I think as soon as I am back, I will feel fine, maybe even GREAT. This is just anxiety because of impending change. Having to learn a new way to do things. Trying not to worry that my co-workers resent my long absence. A big shift from the daily schedule that has become normal. The stress of not knowing if by going back to work I might bring home a fatal virus. Etc.
Hooray for taking charge of Mother’s Day! What movie did you decide on?
I think you’re right about returning to work – once you’re there, and the new-ness wears off, it will feel normal. Good luck and happy returning!
I am all but decided on Murder on the Orient Express, the one with Judi Dench and Josh Gad! That’s if I want something we will ALL enjoy. But I might do a sudden change and make them watch three episodes of Derry Girls with me, and not allow them to make fun of it!
WHY would they make fun of Derry Girls?? It is THE BEST. I’ve watched the series twice now and can’t WAIT for the next season!
I LOVE Derry Girls and have watched some of the episodes so many times. I agree with Lee above that your family should be immediately hushed if they even try to make fun of it.
I vote for sticking with Murder on the Orient Express and keeping Derry Girls to yourself so no one can spoil it for you by being bored/not wanting to be there. Unless they are way better at faking interest/enjoyment than my family is.
Brilliant plan, as usual, for Mothers Day! I am working brunch (UGH) so I am now thinking of dinners I can pre-order and what I can pre order for dessert. In pure anecdata, I have been working almost the whole time, as a teacher/server and I was so, so nervous to go back to both jobs but it’s really worked out fine, i.e. I haven’t brought any illness home. A friend of mine at the restaurant didn’t come back for one year, and I can honestly say no one was resentful, I think everyone does what they need to do! I hope it goes great when you go back.
YES on the Mother’s Day approach! Love it! I told my husband straight out this year that I want flowers, a book, and Mexican food for dinner. And now I am going to order that nail polish because I love it!
Your pre-work panic is of course totally normal and understandable, and I’m sure you are right that it will be much easier once you are there. It’s going to be okay. It is. Why, when our brains KNOW that something will likely have a beneficial outcome do they CONTINUE to stress about it ANYWAY?
<3 <3
Such a great idea! I’ve been debating ordering something for myself but now I’m just gonna go for it. The kids are too young to do something (except whatever craft they make at school). And heaven knows I can’t count on my husband. It is stressful so might as well ease that stress by getting something I want!
And I know it’s not the same thing but the first time I went grocery shopping after lockdown I was so nervous I was perspiring on the way there. Now it seems totally normal :)
I went back to work four weeks ago, having been off since the middle of December, and I was pretty anxious about it and really didn’t want to go. But obviously I made myself and now it feels normal again. It felt pretty normal after only two shifts or so, to be honest. So I hope once you are over the initial hump it is all fine for you too. :)
I have sent my husband a link to a cupcake place with a list of cupcake flavors that I want to make sure he included in our order and he did that.
I’m going to Costco this week to buy the steaks I like and I’ll cook them the way I like and put bleu cheese and caramelized onions on them like I like.
I’m not doing any dishes or laundry and maybe I’ll putter about in my garden a bit.
My husband said he’d work with our usually-behind-in-homework daughter so we can watch some TV that we’ve been enjoying, namely the 2nd season of Survivor, the last season of Buffy, and the 3rd season of Angel.
If that doesn’t work, I’ll ready one of the books I’ve been enjoying or watch “Invincible” with my husband or “Peaky Blinders” by myself.
I suggested brunch. Is it original, no. But it’s outdoors and would mark the first time I’ve eaten in a restaurant in a year so it sounded very nicely. Even though the place would take reservations, my husband acted like it would be such a Chore to do it that I said, never mind. Now I have to plan out my day instead. Ordering myself gifts sounds nice…
It has become very important to me, over the years, that Swistle have a good Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day Swistle!
I absolutely agree! Swistle having had past bad Mother’s days and sharing with us made me feel less alone on my own miserable Mother’s Days. I look forward to these updates every year. I’m so empowered by her having better celebrations now and how she is actively making that happen. Thanks Swistle!
We’ve decided on ordering Burmese for dinner on Mother’s Day because it’s B’s favorite and I have a birthday two days after Mother’s Day when I’ll choose the takeout. And I’ve nudged the kids to get gifts for B (and I know at least one of them has followed through). I assume she’s done the same for me.
I’m not sure if we’ll leave it at that or come up with some kind of activity.
I found nail polish a huge comfort during this past year. (That sounds dramatic, but I have 4 young children, so it really isn’t). Cajun Shrimp looks intriguing–my favorite OPI color is Madame President. I bought several of these nail polishes from Cupcake Polish over the past year and have really loved them.
Well, my one child is living out of state and is going through some kind of personal enlightenment or something. He doesn’t usually remember without reminders from me not to forget his grandmothers. He is 22 now so I’m not reminding this year. He is living with one of them right now so I assume he will be reminded there. We will see. A phone call would be nice! My boyfriend usually gets me a lovely card and flowers because he’s thoughtful like that. I bought myself an inexpensive gardening seat today, does that count? :)
My husband is probably going to panic in a day or two when he realizes he didn’t buy me a gift. However, he always cooks on the weekend and will be happy to make what I’m in the mood for. Plus the kids love to bring me coffee in bed, but are still young enough that he’s really the one doing it. He’s also really good about reminding said kids that this is a day we’re extra nice to Mama, go do what she said/take your fighting elsewhere/etc. I will do what I’m in the mood to do, he will feed me and wrangle the kids, and I will reassure him (truthfully) that I don’t need a gift.
I am a single foster parent. Mother’s Day is SO complicated and unnecessarily fraught. I’m going to help my foster son (9) get a gift for his bio mom, but I think that is where my effort stops.
Oh, and I should probably acknowledge my dad’s wife, I suppose.
My Mother’s Day is going to be a bit weird because I’m going to have a friend over for Facebook church and lunch (we are all vaccinated) whose own mother is in the hospital right now. I don’t want to be all Mother’s Day! In! Your! Face! about it but I do want to have brunch and open my family’s presents. It is odd. I hope to strike a delicate balance. My husband is great about this stuff and hopefully I can have what I would value more than anything: some time completely by myself.
I bought my own candy this year, with thoughts of “what would Swistle do?”, and am glad I did. Now I have something to look forward to, the kids don’t have to wonder what to do, and DH can spare me the last-minute panic session when he realizes it’s Mother’s Day (usually the night before). I gave it to Eldest Daughter to wrap, because she won’t misplace it or eat it, and told her I’d like a handmade card from all the kids. Being proactive, yay!
So C and I were talking about a tweet that asked what would you do if you were handed a significant amount of money. He jokingly said he should pay attention so he knows what to get me for my birthday at the end of the month. I was left wondering if he realized Mother’s Day was in a week. I bought a card for me to send to my mom and have left it sitting prominently on the kitchen table ostensibly to remind myself to mail it. But also as a hint. Mostly so he doesn’t forget HIS mom. I got a card for my teens to sign and send to my mom, too. My daughter seemed a bit surprised when I said “Mother’s Day is this Sunday. Please sign this so I can get it in the mail.” This time of year is always “crunch” time for C at work as he likes to remind me daily. So, much like Swistle, I don’t expect much. But it also let’s me do very simple things for Father’s Day.
We have Mother’s Day, my son’s birthday and my birthday all within 3 weeks. C doesn’t really cook so having him make something is not realistic. But getting take out or going somewhere means I have to coordinate it. We will for sure get take out on my son’s bday for his birthday meal. So then I decide which day I would rather make a meal — Mother’s day or birthday. I usually make something that I like, that’s easy to make and clean up. I will probably pick up special chocolates just for me when I get groceries this week. And I ordered shirts from Kohl’s. I had some Kohl’s cash expiring and instead of looking for kid clothes, I used it all on myself. I think I’m going to buy a cute birdbath for for my birthday.
We went to the local chocolate shop this past weekend and BF and I both picked out an assortment of goodies for our mothers. Mine is all packaged and ready to go to the post office tomorrow afternoon, when dad sends a reminder email and tells us that mom would just like a card and a phone call. Well, tough luck, mom is getting chocolates.
Mom will be thrilled with your chocolates! She just doesn’t want the day to be *a big deal* and feel like she’s asking for something more.
I absolutely love your Mother’s Day idea, and I totally understand the pre-work-angst. It’s really really really hard to shift the daily schedule, especially after this last year. Going from Staying Home to Going To A Public Place, I mean, it’s nerve-wracking.
I put two things into an online shopping cart and summoned my husband and told him that those were the things I wanted for Mother’s Day, so he could come and complete the checkout anytime he wanted. And I’ll be surprised, because I honestly don’t remember what one of those things was.
I also sent my daughter a message on Instagram including a post from a local cafe she and I just ran across a few days ago and had decided to try once the province-wide lockdown was over – it turns out they do a takeaway Mother’s Day High Tea box, so I sent the post with the significant comment: I wonder if we could sub extra scones for the teacup part?
Because the lockdown is in effect until the 20th, I’ll be having a book delivered to my stepmother (I’d better order it today!) and my mother and I have already decided that I’ll combine her Mother’s Day gifts with her birthday gifts and give them to her in person on her birthday on the 24th. By then all our vaccines will have taken effect and the the weather should be nice enough to allow us to eat together out on the porch so we can have our first real visit in a very long time! Can. Not. Wait.
I’m glad for the reminder! I just ordered myself hanging plants and a pair of shoes. And invited my MIL over for a meal and wine. Done!
Swistle this actually sounds really nice for Mother’s Day. I like the idea of picking a few things for yourself and to share and a movie as well. We didn’t have kids so many years, and recently adopted a adult daughter who has remembered Mother’s Day for me…very simple but meaningful cards or little gifts. Since it is on Sundays, my hubby and I try to do something together. You shouldn’t have to do your own day, but this sounds like a great way to make it special!