Two newsy things. ONE: I am going back to work at the library in mid-May, two weeks after my second Covid-19 shot. The three younger children will not be vaccinated yet, but here was my thought process (I find it useful to see other people’s thought processes, if only to say to myself “Oh, yeah, no, we differ on that premise; that explains why we went different ways on this”): for me to get infected at work, (1) a contagious person would have to come into the library AND (2) the virus would have to get past their mask AND past my mask AND past the vaccine, AND (3) because of how much moving I do at work, the virus would have to be transmissible from over 6 feet away and in a few seconds, which so far does not seem to fit our understanding of how even the scarier variants are transmitted. And, as far as we know (and I appreciate scientists not assuming, but waiting to see), successfully-vaccinated people don’t transmit the virus to others; and the virus is not transmitted by people carrying it home on their clothes or hands. And so the risk seems very, very low at this point, and within the range of it’s time for me to be earning money for college/retirement again. I am still anxious about it. But also excited to get back. But also anxious.
TWO: I am trying yoga. It is too early to make a report, except to say that I expect to be recommending it (while also of course complaining about it, which I assume you enjoy because otherwise there’s no way you’d still be here). But I will say this: if a genie granted me wishes, I might consider using one of them to make it so that fitness instructors could inhabit a student’s body long enough to see what the routine felt like to that person. I feel like the entire exercise system would be UTTERLY TRANSFORMED. A teacher could try on the body and say, “Oh! Huh! That exercise really DOESN’T work for you, does it! Let me see if I can play around a bit while I’m here and find something that works that same area, but is possible for your body!” Because, like, if a person has thicker calves/thighs than the yoga instructor does, and sits on those calves/thighs as the yoga instructor has instructed, that person’s hands are more distant from the floor than the yoga instructor’s are (and also, there is more weight on the calves/feet, making the position less easy/comfortable/casual). So then I sit there, with my hands dangling above the floor I’m supposed to be touching, and no idea what I’m supposed to do instead. (This seems like a good reason to take a class in-person, but that is not something I want to do right now.) (Also, I’ve only watched like four videos so far, so I might find more adaptive suggestions later on in other videos.)
Also: I can’t really sit cross-legged in a comfortable way, in part because of aging knees, and in part because of the aforementioned padding. I’m sure I can expect SOME improvement with practice, but there is still an element of…I mean, when there is a thicker layer of calf/thigh involved, the leg CANNOT bend as far in, do you see what I mean? The padding is IN THE WAY of the bend! Or when I lean forward, there is some stomach padding in the way of that lean! It’s not about flexibility, it’s about the space taken up by a body. And I am pretty happy with the size my body is now, and I feel like Myself at this weight: at this point I am trying to be stronger and less anxious and more flexible, not thinner, so I want to do the exercises AS I AM. I’m not thinking, “Well, this will get easier as I get thinner,” because I am not planning to get thinner.
Well, for the time being I am doing what I can to modify things for myself; and I am trying for approximations and improvements-over-time, rather than exact and immediate imitations of what a thinner/younger body can do. And I really like the instructor (Adriene, recommended by Sundry) for this: she doesn’t seem to know what it’s like to have padding, or aging knees, but she is very “Do what feels good to your body”/”Make the changes you need to make”/”You should be WORKING but not SUFFERING” about the whole thing. (I mean, she is also “Just fling your legs up over your head, have a little fun with it!,” but that’s the sort of thing where I am trying for improvements over time rather than immediate imitations.)
I mentioned awhile ago that the skin on my face seems to be rapidly losing significant portions of its youthful smoothness. I have finally started USING all the little samples of eye cream and toner and face creams and skin treatments and so forth that build up in my bathroom cabinet, and my counter is now littered with them. And you know what, I don’t think a single one of them does A Single Damn Thing. I had samples of some very expensive Olay aging-skin day cream and night cream, and I was excited to try them because I am a fan of the (cheap, normal) Olay moisturizers, and I REALLY PEERED at my skin after using them, and I saw NO DIFFERENCE.
I was especially disappointed in all the eye creams: I’d had those tucked away in an “I am not left-handed either!” sort of way—like, I COULD have better-looking skin around my eyes, I just haven’t yet found it worthwhile to make the effort. But then I made the effort, and nothing improved. The only thing I think makes it a LITTLE better is if I put a little plainish ointmenty kind of substance (Vaseline or Bag Balm) around my eyes before I go to bed. Just a little bit, just sort of swiping along the undereye and then up around the crows-feet corners and then whatever’s left over onto the lids, nothing very close to the eyes themselves. If it ISN’T improving the look of the skin, it’s at least soothing, and it makes me feel as if I’m doing something kind for my poor eye area.
I have also increased my use of facial mists throughout the day, and those too seem to make a slight difference, or at least feel soothing and like I’m doing something kind for my skin. I have a whole bunch of them and I like them all, but my favorites are a Botanics toning spritz Target no longer carries, and any of the Thayers I’ve tried (right now I’m using lavender, a rose that’s a nice smaller size if you want to try a mist but don’t want to commit to the expense of the large bottle, and a cranberry orange one they had near Christmas), but that’s mostly because they go on nice and decisively, which is more about the spritzing mechanism than about the product itself; if it’s something you wanted to try, I would think you could buy just about any old one that looked good to you.
I was gifted a VERY expensive bottle of highly recommended eye cream. After a few weeks, NOTHING. Well, other than tearing up much more for the hour after I put it on. And there are just no scientific study results on the whole industry that is positive. What an absolute waste. Scientists who work on that stuff should be commandeered for vaccine work.
Literally laughed at this comment. Thank you Robin!
I’m a yoga instructor. A well trained instructor should be giving modifications for strength/ flexibility & size. Sitting in heroes pose, for instance, can be made more accessible with blocks. In an easy seat (cross cross applesauce), propping a blanket under your hips to raise them will give you more space in the hip flexors and make the pose more comfortable. You may want to try a series of private lessons to get you started or find a teacher that is more inclusive. The curvy yoga program is excellent-check it out online.
I’m in my 40s. The only thing that “works” in terms of reversing/holding off on aging skin is Botox and fillers, I’m sorry to report. They’re not cheap, but highly recommended :) (prescription retin A. Is nice too, but it’s no dermal filler).
Let me second yoga blocks or, as a free alternative, bring some pillows or folded blankets to your yoga mat. The phrase my teacher says is to use the blocks to “bring the floor to you.” If you’re new to yoga, perhaps that guidance will help you create the right modifications for you. I, too, struggle with the “but my body doesn’t DO that!” So either I find a mod that works for me or I choose a different pose altogether. Lying on one’s back and waiting for the next asana is quite relaxing, highly recommend.
The Underbelly yoga, with Jessamyn Stanley, is great for learning yoga from someone with a larger body. I practice using both Adriene and Underbelly resources.
I’ve heard this recommendation before and want to check out Jessamyn as well. I love Adriene, but as a larger person myself do find some of it challenging and am interested in another perspective. I will say, though, that I have been impressed with how much my flexibility does improve over time, even in areas where I am very convinced at the start that it’s a physical impossibility because of my skin to do what is being asked. I suspect some of it is genetics and some of it is regular practice.
Thanks for this recommendation!
YAY for going back to work! That sounds wonderful!
I love Yoga with Adriene. She is so kind and friendly and pleasingly goofy.
My reassurance re: yoga is that I believe modifications will come naturally to you as the practice becomes more familiar. I have felt the same way at times, like Adriene you obviously don’t know what it’s like to be SMOTHERED BY YOUR OWN BOOBS in that pose, but now I just adjust whatever it is — sometimes I choose a different pose altogether (like some nice relaxing cat/cows instead of hero’s pose which can GO FISH) . Also seconding Beth’s recc for a blanket or yoga pillow or even a folded towel under your butt, I cannot seem to relax my hip flexors enough to sit comfortably in that pose without a little lift.
I’ve been doing yoga off and on for years, and while I love Adriene’s attitude as a yoga instructor, but she’s not great about mentioning even really common modifications. When she does, it’s often on the second or third round, which is not particularly helpful.
Anne Guess-Jelly of curvyyoga.com is great at explaining how to adapt poses to accommodate a belly or breasts or whatever. She has some free videos on her site and on YouTube. During the pandemic, I’ve ponied up the cash for her paid studio, and I enjoy her daily practices.
I’ve been a curvyyoga studio member for ages, and Anna has been my every day (OK, 5 days a week) teacher throughout the pandemic. Great for beginners and modifications –Adriene seems lovely but spends too much time in poses I can’t do. Jessamyn is a boss –very inspiring. Keep trying–I remind myself it’s a PRACTICE.
I was just coming to suggest Curvy Yoga Studio/Anna Guest-Jelley. I know so many people who love Yoga with Adriene and I can see how she is great for a lot of people but I could NOT get past the total mismatch between her teaching and my body. I find the Curvy Yoga videos just made me feel so much more like I was doing the yoga that was made for my body. (I started with the YouTube options: https://www.youtube.com/user/CurvyYoga/featured but I also now pay for the membership to have a ton more options.) I appreciate that instead of being the adaptation, the things that work for my body are the norm – and instead of the style of “if you can’t do X like I’m doing, you can try Y instead” this tends more toward “start with A – if it feels good to you, you can continue to B, or you can stay at A”
Were you able to sit cross legged as a child? Because some people just can’t. My husband (an athletic man with 37 year old knees) has never been able to. This used to get him in trouble at school.
I don’t remember where I heard this, but there is little real difference between drugstore products and Expensive ones. You are paying for the brand, and sometimes a weird ingredient like rose stem cells. The only facial cream I have ever noticed a difference from was a Weleda night cream. They don’t make it anymore, but Target carries some other Weleda products. Their Skin Food is really good (not to eat)- smoothing for hands, protective for cheeks in cold weather, slightly citrus scented on application but it not perfumed, so the smell goes away (this may or may not be a selling point for you).
I’m glad you’re able to go back to work. I hope it feels good to get back into the routine and less nerve-wracking as time passes.
My youngest goes back to school for the first time in over 13 months tomorrow. Doesn’t seem nervous at all, so we’re being all laid back and cool about it.
I’m thrilled you’re enjoying yoga. One thing I miss very much about teaching in-person is the ability to look at my students and assess how to vary/ alter/ modify postures for their individual needs. My specialty is seniors – although I teach many different groups/ demographics, including stroke survivors – and I found that going to zoom classes was extremely challenging because of that. Either there is just the tiniest video screen of each participant, or participants don’t have their cameras on, and I can’t tell if something is working well for them or not. I just have to give as many different cues as possible for a single pose, which is tricky when I’m on a time limit. What I say to all my students is the right way to do a posture is what feels right to YOU. There are as many variations to postures as there are people, in my mind. Work within your own boundaries, make sure nothing is painful, and, as my dear friend Jen says, “be happy in your practice.”
Yay for going back to your job! I know you loved it there, I am happy for you.
I just wrote a post about my skin-care routine and something I’ve realized is no change is actually an improvement, as we age every day. No change = plus!
I could not agree MORE about face creams and potions. I am 48 and have been trying a variety of stuff and most of it seems to do a whole lot of nothing. The only 2 things I feel like make a difference are the Trader Joe’s hyaleronic face serum, and a sort of primer called Maybelline Baby Skin Pore Eraser. They both are sort of temporary crack-fillers that improve the look of my skin on a very temporary basis. But I think I’m going to have to go for Botox to really do anything that shows a longer term difference.
Yay for you going back! I remember how much you enjoyed it.
We were told recently that they will re-evaluate things at the end of June. Personally, they can just keep me at home. I can do 95% of my job easily from here. This became quite clear early on. I generally head to the office on Saturday to take care of those pesky things that I can’t do from here and I realized usually I was in and out of there in under an hour.
My motto regarding facial care is that you use some type of moisturizer twice a day, remove any makeup every night, use sunscreen and drink lots of water (this is what I need to work on!). I know in my heart that all the creams and potions out there cannot reverse aging but being proactive might slow the progression…at least, that’s my hope!
Yoga – was also going to recommend the blocks!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B089Y5ZQP8/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdb_imm_8Q3G0GXJB9P32QFFKAVZ
I’ve been doing YWA for about 16 months now, 5-7 days a week in a bigger body and somewhere along the way my hips and knees really changed – I can sit cross-legged for ages now – it is possible!! I always do Extended Child’s Pose instead of Childs Pose though because – bosoms. I have the Underbelly subscription too to support Jessamyn’s great work but find I use YWA most days.
I am going back to work in a little over an hour and I feel you on the mixed feelings. I’ve been furloughed 295 days and haven’t been inside the building in over a year.
I am two weeks post vaccine and that might be the only thing keeping me from being a panicked mess.
I hope your day was excellent!
I had a period last year where my youngest would stare at my face for a while and then let me know that I had bags under my eyes and which eye had the bigger bag…. That was lovely. I was laughing about it and mentioned it to my sister who is HUGE into skin care. She sent me a thing of Lancome Yeux Genifique eye cream something I would NEVER spend money on. It worked! I figured why not try it. She told me to take a bit on my index finger and swipe three times under my eye from the inside to the crows feet and then three times above the eye just under the eyebrow from the inside to the crows feet.
I am guessing it was the act of kind of massaging the area with the swiping plus the cream – but within 2 weeks people were commenting that I looked better and that was the only thing I was doing differently. It helps manage the bags and the black circles. The container lasted months because you use so little at a time, and I just bought a new one. I never would have thought I would spend so much money on a beauty product – but I will definitely be keeping this one up. My last one came with a serum as well and I feel like that is also making a difference to the look of the rest of my face.
I am only mentioning the name of the product because it is the only one that I ever noticed make a difference. I am not sure if it was the product itself or because I actually stuck with it for a long period of time.
I’d also like to offer up Diane Bondy yoga. She’s a Black woman in a larger body, and she’s wonderfully kind and strong and not stereotypical White lady yoga teacher. Although I do love Adrienne. I will be looking into curvy yoga. I hadn’t heard about it and when it comes to my boobs and post-three-children belly, curvy would be a generous euphemism.
The only potion that has made a difference on my 50-year-old face is vitamin C powder. Apparently Vitamin C breaks down quickly in lotions and serums, so it’s better to buy a powder and mix a little bit daily with your moisturizer, so I do that every day and it has made my face a little brighter. Still the same wrinkly face, just a little brighter, but . . . every little bit helps.
Interesting! Where do you buy the powder?
Oooo, which powder do you buy? I’m looking into it, and am overwhelmed by options.
2 hero skin products are (1)Vitamin C (I have liked many brands including L’Oreal) – this one is great, worth the price: https://www.target.com/p/l-oreal-paris-revitalift-derm-intensives-vitamin-c-facial-treatment-1-fl-oz/-/A-75561314#lnk=sametab
and (2) retinol. ROC is a good drugstore brand and I also like the Paul’s Choice Clinical Strength 1% Retinol (it’s STRONG, start with 2x per week): https://www.target.com/p/roc-retinol-correxion-deep-wrinkle-anti-aging-night-face-cream-1oz/-/A-11992266#lnk=sametab
Pretty much everything else for the face is nice and can help hydration, but without significant active ingredients like Vitamin C or Retinol, they won’t do much.
Acids are another area to explore – Pixi (available at target) makes some good, cheap ones. But start with Vitamin C, Retinol, and SUNSCREEN.
I got to go INTO our library on Friday, for the first time in over a year. As an avid library user, it was something I’ve missed. In our system, they are requiring reservations, temperature checks at the door, masks, and limiting to 10 people at a time. You also only get 45 minutes. Once inside, I found they had totally rearranged the library in the time they were closed, and it threw me for a loop. But, I got my 6 books on hold, and another 4 off the shelf, and felt very satisfied with my excursion.
I like Philosophy brand skincare, and I’ve used it for years.
Stick with yoga for a while before deciding whether its for you. When I first started, I thought a number of things were uncomfortable and even impossible for me and they’ve become much better/easier/more comfortable with time. (Planks seems so rough on my wrists at first!) Somethings that I thought were just plain weird and pointless, like some of the breathing techniques, have found their way into other parts of my life – helping kids fall asleep with belly breaths or destressing myself after Bad News with relaxing breathing . Anyway, I’m a fan. Hope you end up enjoying it!
I agree with everyone saying that most creams are really temporary even if they work a bit. Fillers and botox are also fairly temporary and way beyond my finances! But because you’re already doing yoga, I feel you might be open to considering adding face yoga to your daily regimen. I started with Danielle Collins, but have really seen extreme changes in my face following Peta’s Facerobics program on youtube. I cannot rave enough about how amazing the results are. I’m 55 and have reversed many of the lines and sagging I was in complete despair about!
I take it that you want to go back to work at the library, so I should say yay? New here to not entirely sure about this. You mention: “I can’t really sit cross-legged in a comfortable way” and I’d bet you are the norm. Some yoga asanas just aren’t ever going to be comfortable, imo. As for eye creams & gels, if you find one that works, doesn’t cost a week’s salary, and doesn’t run into your eyes while you sleep, please mention it here. Would love to know about it.
Here is a test: hold your arms out as wide as they go and measure your “wingspan” from furthest fingertip to furthest fingertip. What is that measurement as compared to your height? In theory the average person’s wingspan is same as their height, but in reality there is variation. I am short two inches across compared to up-and-down and my palms do not reach the floor when I’m sitting upright. If I want to “press my palms into the floor and lift myself up” I have to either have blocks or curl my spine downwards – I physically cannot keep a straight back and do it without blocks. It’s annoying, but at least I know it’s not because of padding and I take comfort in that.
My daughter, by the way, was the recipient of my lost two inches – she is two inches wider than tall and she can do all the yoga stuff with relative ease as long as she’s trying something she’s flexible enough for.
When it come to aging I always think of the Steel Magnolias quote “Time marches on and eventually you realize it is marching across your face”.
I’m a skincare junkie and you are right that no lotion will dramatically and immediately turn back the hands of time but you can definitely make some improvements or at least stop the rapid deterioration in the long run.
I feel like I’ve tried it all from every price range and my favorite drugstore moisturizer, hands down, is Cerave PM Moisturizer. Someone mentioned ROC as a good retinol (it is!) and I would also recommend looking at Curology. It is a subscription but you tell them all of your skin concerns – wrinkles, sunspots, etc they provide a high quality lotion that meets those needs including medical grade retinol (tretinoin).
Unfortunately the two lotions I’ve tried that actually do make an immediate difference for me are expensive. Again, not miracles, but I wake up and my skin looks better than when I went to bed. They are: Sunday Riley – Good Genes and Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair (this is actually a serum not a lotion). You can get free samples or buy a mini bottls at Sephora – that’s usually how I try expensive skincare to see if it’s worth investing in a full size.
Retinol + a good moisturizer at night and sunscreen during the day have been scientifically proven to slow the signs of aging over time. If you stick with it I really do think you’ll be happy over time.
This is what I was coming here to say!~ Cleans your face well at night, Retinol, sunscreen everyday and moisturizer (inside and out) are key. “eye creams” are crap – all you need is a good all over moisturizer. I too like Cerave cleanser and moisturizer, & ROC. I splurge on EltaMD sunscreen because it is so important.
Cerave also has a good Vit C serum if you’re looking to step it up a little. In the winter when my skin is DRY, DRY, DRY I use Fruit of the Earth Aloe Cream.
Time marches on, but I am trying my best to keep it from marching across my face so quickly!
I’ve mentioned this before-but I’ve been lucky that I’ve looked younger than my years-cue me hitting 60-and wearing a mask that highlights my eye wrinkles. A few days ago I had an AHA moment-I was at work looking in the mirror and thinking “YIKES!”, then came the moment-I’m 60!!! I should have wrinkles! There is no magic potion that will alleviate those. My biggest problem is my nose is breaking out so badly with wearing a mask everyday-I really would be happy to get rid of that!
Love this! I too am 60 (have been told I don’t look it), but also realized that it’s okay if I have a few baggy or splotchy areas. I’ve earned them!
Sephora facials/make up used to be a lot of fun (prepandemic) and a nice way to try skincare. You book a 45 min appointment and a pro does a facial with product you can buy and/or does makeup. If you purchase $50 of products that day in store the facial is free. Plus they will happily (and liberally) give you samples to take home of anything you want to try. They have little pots and they will make samples if they don’t have them prepackaged.
It’s hard to fathom a facial now – I wonder when I will feel safe doing that again.
Differin gel. Nominally for acne, but it also promotes collagen production and reduces fine lines/spots/ wrinkles. It actually does have science to back it up.
Warning: Don’t follow the instructions on the box like I did. This was WAY too intense for my skin and resulted in a lot of uncomfortable burning and peeling. It was like a chemical peel, and it worked great, but if I had to do it over again, I would ease into the routine starting with once a week and go from there.
Also, you have to wait 30 minutes after washing your face before applying it, which it kind of a PITA, but worth it. ALSO, also, you need to wear sunscreen. You should be wearing sunscreen anyway, but you NEED to wear it when using Differin as you’re exposing newer, more vulnerable layers of skin, and you will burn more easily and extremely.
But it WORKS. I had “Pandemic Face” (looking like I’d aged 5 years in 1), and this just took it away. It was remarkable. I can’t recommend it enough, but please, do your research on the correct routine online instead of following the directions on the box.
I think the only thing that really helps the face is a good moisturizer. I am not one to spend lots of money on face stuff, but Neutrogena Age Shield Face with Sunscreen really works for me. I have a co-worker who lived in Hawaii for several years and is younger than and looks older because of the sun she got and didn’t use sunscreen on her face.
I’m happy you’re trying yoga and look forward to hearing how the journey goes. I’ve done it on-and-off for awhile and almost always feel better after spending time on the mat. Yoga has helped me stay emotionally grounded especially during the past year, and I appreciate any improvements to my flexibility and strength it provides. If you are ever looking for another teacher, I’d recommend Stacey Millner-Collins with Yoga in Practice on PBS. You have to log into PBS Passport which is annoying and the show might only be available in some areas, but her teaching style really resonates with me and the episodes are 30 minutes long. She has two students behind her and one is always doing modifications. She clearly explains technique, modifications, and emphasizes only doing what works for you at that moment. She’s very welcoming and affirming, has good pacing, and touches on philosophy and spirituality which give her classes more meaning (to me). I’d guess she’s in her 50s.
Everyone well covered the “sit on a towel or block” situation, so I’ll just say that as a VERY casual yoga-doer I look forward to reading about your adventures and angst!