I have just over a dozen pages left before the end of A Prayer for Owen Meany and I have put it down. I feel the need for Emotional Preparedness, which may never occur. At the very least, I am going to need a room containing no one who will make fun of me for crying.
I need to mention, by the way, that the book was published in 1989 and makes use of the R-word. [Edited to add: plus at least one instance of a person described as “Oriental.”] Also, it is a men’s book: it is about men, and things that happen to men. All the female characters are there only as accessories to the men: a man’s grandmother, a man’s girlfriend, a man’s cousin, a man’s teacher, a man’s mother. They are only there to help tell the men’s stories. I am not really reading books like that anymore, so I thought I should give you a little content warning so you won’t be surprised. This book is getting grandmothered in because I THOUGHT I HAD read it, so this is more like going back in time to keep me from being a liar. (Spellcheck knows the word grandfathered but not the word grandmothered. Click “Add to dictionary”/”Gradually reduce automatic patriarchy”—there, that’s better.)
And I have to skim a lot of the stuff about the Vietnam War and the political things that were going on at the time. It’s depressing to see how similar politics are now, and to realize that it’s not just that things got abruptly worse with the election of our 45th president (though they did), it’s also that I didn’t tune in until it got that bad—but it had been Pretty Darn Bad at many times earlier. Well, a lot of us are paying attention NOW, so good strategy, politicians! Fun idea, to see just how far you could push it!
I went grocery shopping today. We were getting low on a lot of things so I went in twice: first for things that don’t care about temperature, and then for everything else. That kind of trip is satisfying, because I can get EVERYTHING, and also have room in the cart for Bonus Items such as an impulse pack of bakery cinnamon rolls, and a box of unnecessary-but-the-kids-enjoy-them fruit snacks; but also stressful, because I do different aisles each trip, and I’m always worry that doing so will undermine the part of my list that is only in my mind and is triggered by walking past the items. That is, no one has to put milk on the list, because I remember it when I walk past it. But if I alter my route, who KNOWS what I might not walk past!!
Well.
This was my third grocery trip with the updated advice to double-mask (I wear a KN-95 first, with a cloth mask over it), and I really hate it, but also it does make me feel a little safer. But it’s so uncomfortable and humid. And I hadn’t realized how comfy my cloth masks were until I wore a disposable, though that’s unfair to the disposable: it’s against my face so it’s getting most of the blame for the issues caused by two masks. Still. Now I’m looking forward to wearing just one mask, a cloth one, after I’m vaccinated! HOW FAR WE HAVE COME.
Oh! A note: if your store has been weirdly out of horseradish sauce, as mine has been, it’s worth checking with the cocktail items (maraschino cherries, cocktail olives, grenadine, margarita/daiquiri mixers): I walked past that section today and there was horseradish sauce just sitting there! Although there was ALSO that one same kind of horseradish sauce in the regular section this time, so maybe it wouldn’t have been with the cocktail stuff before, either.
They were out of the little cocktail hot dogs again. They were out of those for AGES at the beginning of the pandemic, then suddenly had them in stock again Awhile Ago, and now haven’t had them for the past two trips.
Still no Lemon Pop Tarts, but that’s a new item so I might be missing a display, or my store might just not have them yet.
You know the BIG containers of spices? Like, not the usual cylindrical jar of cinnamon, but a big rectangular container? We needed a new Big Basil, and I have checked three trips in a row now, and they haven’t had it. The whole Big Spices section has been all spread out, with maybe three Big Spices taking up allllll the Big Spice slots. This time they did have Big Crushed Red Pepper, which they didn’t have last time.
Canned beans are still weird. They had the big cans of black beans and pinto beans, and those were spread out over two shelves of the missing other varieties.
Canned fruit is still weird. Cranberry sauce or pineapple or Weird Stuff, those are your choices. I’ve been ordering from Target.
Last time they were out of lemon juice; this time they had it, but just the store brand. (Which is fine, but notable.)
Almond milk was VERY LOW. I had to buy coconut-almond milk (which is fine, but notable).
The vegetarian meat-substitutes are still patchy, but at least they had some chicken nuggets and chicken patties, which we were getting perilously low on. No Gardein beefless ground, for the third trip in a row (that is the ONLY vegetarian ground beef we like; it’s that or nothing).
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED MARCONA ALMONDS. The deli section had a big display of them on sale, so I bought some just to try them. I can’t stop eating them. I told Paul to please take them away from me and put them somewhere I wouldn’t see them for awhile, because I was getting worried I would actually make myself sick before I’d stop. They’re skinless almonds, fried in oil, and then salted like they love you and want you to be happy.
I’d been seeing ads for Super Coffee (a keto thing), and thought I’d check to see if my grocery store had that brand, and they had two kinds of the refrigerated liquid creamer, so I bought the sweet cream one. It’s…okay. Very artificial-sweetener-flavored (which is fine/expected, but notable). I’m glad I didn’t order a case of it or something. I forget to check for the bottled flavored coffees when I was in that part of the store, but I’ll check next time.
Do you have a peanut-butter cereal you’d recommend? I have been eating a keto one that has put me very in the mood to have a NON keto version on my Days Off. I bought a box of Reese’s cereal, thinking that would be top tier stuff, and I ate one bowl of it and don’t want any more: hardly any peanut butter flavor at all. I know I can add actual peanut butter to cereal, but I’m checking first for options that don’t involve doing that.
I had a sudden craving for Sugar Babies, and checked the grocery store for them, but they didn’t have any. I don’t know if that’s a pandemic thing or if those are now an Old Person Candy and will have to be ordered from a special catalog that also carries the perfumes and toiletries of my distant youth. That, by the way, is how I will KNOW my peers and I are truly Old as opposed to “ha ha we’re so old!”: when the Vermont Country Store catalog starts carrying the things we love/remember. That’s the next level up from hearing your high school Top 40 played as elevator music, which is an achievement we have already unlocked.
A Prayer For Owen Meany is one of the very few books About Men that I still like. Although it’s been a good long while since I re-read it. I have up on John Irving about 15 years ago but I have a soft spot for his older works; nobody writes an addictive plot like him (that I’m aware of). Sugar Babies are one of my mom’s favorite candies and I had totally forgotten about them until you mentioned them. Now I want some!
What do you do with the Lil Smokies? We usually just stick them in a crockpot with a mixture of chili sauce and grape jelly, with toothpicks for snacking. I’m open to other ideas, though. They are a Food of My Childhood that we often have on hand for some reason (??)
I’ve been hoping for an informative review of the Beyond Meat products from a vegetarian; Nacho is interested in trying it and I’m not totally opposed (he tolerates meat and dairy significantly less well than Ava and I do).
I just fry some in a pan (slowly, so they get browned on the outside, even a little blackened) and dip them in a mustard/mayo/horseradish/sriracha sauce. I got them as a way to have More Keto Variety around here.
Is the Beyond brand the one Burger King uses? Before the pandemic, I took my two vegetarians out for the Impossible Burger, and both of them felt it was a little TOO much like meat: like, neither of them finished it, because they felt like it MUST BE meat. Which seems like a ringing endorsement for anyone eating it because they have digestive rather than philosophical issues!
That would be me! I got e-coli during the “Spinach Scare” and now can’t eat red meat without suffering severe gastrointestinal issues.
I absolutely LOVE Impossible meat because it’s so close to the real thing. (I have not tried Beyond Meat) Before it was available in retail stores, I would treat myself to a burger at Red Robin which was fantastic…until one of the cooks thought it would be “funny” to play Prank the Vegan (which I am not) and swap the Impossible burger for ground beef. I knew within 2 hours the burger had been subbed (ugh), but not while eating it…that’s how close to real meat they are.
Sorry for the TMI, but it’s just to say that if you’re looking for a meat sub for health reasons, Impossible meat is expensive, but amazing!
Oh, I forgot to add…texturally, Impossible Meat can be subbed for any situation where you’d use regular ground beef; tacos, meatloaf, burgers, etc. And this may be just me and my super-sensitive nose, but it does have a faint, odd smell while cooking, not bad, just…odd. (This may not bother those who aren’t sensitive to smells.) But the end result is delicious and smells/tastes like the real thing.
That’s enraging. Did you let the management know?
I did! The manager was apologetic, but it’s still hard to trust that it won’t happen again, y’know? I’m grateful I can now get it at Target and cook it myself.
I hear you.
I’m curious: how do you know it was a deliberate swap instead of a mistake? You mentioned that the manager was apologetic – did she or he admit it was done on purpose?
My gut let me know within about 2 hours that I had eaten real beef by sending me to the bathroom for the remainder of the day. I’ll spare you the gory details, but it’s a very specific reaction that lets me know in no uncertain terms that beef was eaten. Ugh.
I spent about 30-ish minutes on the phone with the manager the next day, very calmly explaining what happened and trying to get him to understand that he needed to educate his employees on the seriousness of food issues; specifically that there are folks with medical issues who can’t play Prank the Vegan-type games. I felt fortunate that he seemed receptive to the conversation (vs just blowing me off) and apologized several times throughout. I’m hopeful he had a training session with his employees so that it won’t happen to anyone else.
Oh! Sorry, I misread your comment! I don’t know for sure whether it was a mistake or deliberate…it could’ve been either! Sadly, I live in an area that isn’t always as accepting to folks with different food choices. Vegans get mocked quite a bit in the local paper. *sigh*
Regardless, facilities that serve both meat and meatless options need to do their best to keep those two things separated. My call to the mgr was to gently reinforce that point.
Not a vegetarian, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I DO buy the Beyond Burgers from Costco – they’re still expensive but not as bad as elsewhere. They don’t taste anything like any veggie burgers I’ve had, but they don’t quite taste like beef, either. I’d say they replicate the texture of a burger more than the flavor of a burger, and the weirdest thing to me is how they change color when you cook them, from pinkish-brown to brown, like actual meat. In fact, one night, my husband mixed up my patty with his beef one. I could definitely tell the difference once I bit into it, but not before. Also unlike veggie burgers, they definitely feel indulgent like a burger? I mean, they have quite a bit of fat and sodium in them, and though they don’t taste salty to me, I’m always thirsty after eating them, so. Anyway, I find them tasty, my husband thought they were only okay, my meat-loving daughter prefers them to actual hamburgers, and my carb-loving daughter hates them (she likes hamburgers or turkey burgers just fine).
I definitely read Meany a billion years ago, did the whole shebang, on a John Irving kick. I don’t remember them all being “boy” books, but that wasn’t a thing on my radar at the time. Quickly thinking back, it doesn’t surprise me that they all are.
Spices: have you tried Penzeys? I love them. We have one here but it’s like 30 minutes (but only like 10 miles) from my house so I get my spices shipped. They just did a 20% off of everything sale, but they do pretty regular promotions and the emails are worth reading. They’re lovely.
Horseradish: I don’t know why you were out, but I would bet the sudden plethora has to do with Passover being very soon.
Cocktail weinies: do y’all just eat them? I’m curious.
Almonds: I have not tried those but I have that problem with the candied and spicy (2 kinds) pecans from Trader Joe’s. I’m trying to make them myself (since I can get 8oz of pecans for like $4, or pay something like $5 for 5oz of TJ candied ones) and so far, no dice.
YES, we have a bunch of Penzey’s! I mostly get the Interesting spices and spice-blends from them.
The little cocktail doggies, yes, I just fry some up in a pan and eat them with mustard. William does this too. No one else in the family shares our interest.
I CANNOT STOP with candied nuts. I will eat them until I am ill. I have several times tried to make candied almonds and they came out badly every time.
Panda puffs peanut butter cereal is really good if your store carries that brand.
Barbara’s Peanut Butter Puffins cereal! It is SO good. I eat it dry by the fistful (actually, I don’t eat it anymore; I had to stop buying it because I just wind up wandering by the cabinet and eating fistfuls all day).
I am post vax and did a grocery run today and this is the first time in a LONG TIME that I was semi-relaxed (well, as relaxed as you could be in the grocery store). Still had my mask on, and still sanitized but didn’t have that same horrible dread feeling as in months past. I did however notice that the store person that came to fix something that wouldn’t scan (why can’t I ever get through a checkout w/o that happening) DID NOT have their mask on properly and I didn’t have the inclination to get into it with her. We are making progress!
I will add an additional vote for both the Panda and Puffin cereals listed above, and aso add a vote for peanut butter cap’n crunch.
Definite endorsement on PB Cap’n Crunch – you can’t beat it! Do they still make it?
They do, Lee. My Target sells it!
My grocery stores seem to be fully stocked with everything. I can’t even remember the last time I couldn’t find something I needed. I wonder how much it varies by geographical location. I’m in the northwest, in a small city almost 200 miles from another city, so one would think we’d be reduced to eating maraschino cherries, canned wax beans and parsnips. Instead the aisles are bursting at the seams.
So interesting! I’m on the other end of the country in central Florida, though I’m basically in Orlando so I do have the hub benefit. We have been fully stocked for months and months, unless you count cleaning products.
Sometimes if I am in need of a cathartic cry, I will open up Owen Meany and read the last few pages. Works every single time. (Incidentally, it is one of the VERY few Man Books that I love.)
Marcona almonds are so good that I do not keep them in the house.
We discovered marcona almonds in Italy a couple years ago and OMG! Had never heard of them before. Thankfully Costco carries them. Or maybe not because it makes it easy to eat too many.
I had a John Irving phase around 25 years ago and liked the ones I read, but ironically haven’t had an inclination to re-read them. The exception is his memoir My Movie Business.
Peanut butter cereal: another vote for Peanut Butter Crunch. I loved that cereal.
On a delicious nut-related snacking not: the nut butter session at my supermarket started carrying an almond butter with pieces of candied almonds in it. I could probably just sit down with a spoon and eat the whole jar, but my digestive system would not be happy with me for that.
I continue to love/find fascinating grocery store reports.
Owen Meany (the book) is now sitting on my desk; I just removed it from the shelf after reading your post, although I have a concerned/doubtful/furrowed expression on my face. The back tells me almost nothing, but the first paragraph is intriguing. Hmm. Hmmmmm.
I also gave up on John Irving some time ago, mostly because of the patriarchy, but for a couple other issues too. But Owen Meany might be his best book.
So many little statements to love:
”Gradually reduce automatic patriarchy”
“salted like they love you and want you to be happy”
“hearing your high school Top 40 played as elevator music, which is an achievement we have already unlocked.”
I work for a company that makes a product that goes into those plastic cannisters you describe for spices and I can tell you that there is a North American shortage of the actual container.
That is so fascinating. I wish I could send mine somewhere for re-use! I feel this way about many, many containers. We should return them to the store the next time we go and they should backwards their way through the chain, get cleaned or melted and re-made, and go forwards again.
Oh I just LOVE insider info like this!!
I second ordering bulk from Penzey’s and re-using the jar that used to hold the bulk you bought from the grocery store. I currently have a plethora of plastic jars that either came filled with Talenti Gelato (cylindrical) or with Arborio Rice (large and square, with a little notch for a hand-hold), and I use ’em to store bulk things that get sold in bags.
I am also all heart eyes about “grandmothered in”
Well, this is a great idea! I have both of those items but never thought about repurposing the containers for bulk spices! Thanks!
You are very welcome!!!
Coming back to say that my reaction to reading about other historical periods characterized by political strife, social unrest, and seemingly insurmountable divisiveness is: RELIEF. I understand the reaction of feeling disheartened and defeated, and wanting to skim over those parts of books/history, but my own thought process about it is that the time we live in now seems SO terrible and SO irredeemable, but it turns out humans have been struggling with divisions, disagreements, and infighting since the beginning of time! And yet, we persist as a society! Somehow it gives me hope when I feel like I can’t stand another minute of all this discord and bickering and…everything else.
+1 on dismantling the patriarchy via autocorrect! :)
I like Peanut Butter Chex both as a cereal with milk or by the handful as a snack. It was in limited supply when it first came out, but seems to be well stocked now. I still haven’t been able to find the Cap’n Crunch version.
Yes, came here to say PB Chex is sooo good!
Peanut Butter Chex is the only cereal I currently eat. Very PB-y. Delicious with some unsweetened, plain Almond Milk.
My understanding of the double-masking advice is that it’s a really, really good idea if what you have been using is surgical masks or cloth masks: surgical style masks offer really good filtration, but they typically have big gaps around the sides/nose so you’re breathing mostly unfiltered air, whereas cloth masks offer a great tight fit but don’t do much to filter the air that comes through. Put the cloth mask over a surgical one and voila! filtration + fit.
On the other hand, if you have a tightly fitted mask that also filters the air, like a KN95 or N95 without a valve, then putting a cloth mask over it doesn’t do much besides make it harder to breath. In fact, because it becomes harder to breath through the filtering part of the mask, you are more likely to end up forcing air to leak around the edges and make your KN95 worse.
The only reason to layer over a KN95/N95 would be to cover a valve, or if you’re worried it might be counterfeit. There have been big problems with counterfeit KN95s on sites like Amazon, but there are also a lot of good masks available now from reputable retailers on the official US approved lists and so on. So go find a mask you really trust and then don’t worry about doubling up!
I really enjoy reading your grocery reports. We haven’t had shortages in a long time, so I am also curious, like the commenter above, how much is geographic. I’m in western NY. Also, we are a family of 3, and so maybe we are looking for a smaller variety of items.
I just did a grocery run yesterday. I skipped last week so we were getting very low on things, plus we’re getting pounded by storms all this week and I couldn’t risk waiting another day.
We like SPAM and had no problem getting it for the first 9-10 months of the pandemic. Then suddenly the shelves were bare. Then about 5-6 weeks later there was only the regular SPAM, and now the shelf is bare again.
Cat food has not been an issue at all up until now. We have 3 cats, and there is only 1 flavor/brand of dry food and 1 flavor/brand of canned food that they all agree on. I’ve had the dry food on auto ship from Amazon for 3 years or so – the price did fluctuate pretty wildly in the spring & summer but we always got it. The canned food they only get once a week and I buy 6-8 cans when they’re on sale. This particular brand has been slowly disappearing from the store and then was all gone last time I was there. This week there seemed to be a shortage of all canned cat food, there were only a dozen or so cans total on the shelf. I notice there were a lot of empty spaces in the dry food section too. I ended up buying a can of tuna for the cats weekly treat because I can’t face another weekend of pitiful stares.
Ramen noodles is another thing that was hard to get at the beginning, then started making a come back. But the last couple of months I have grab it when I see it again because often that shelf is bare.
I’m going to also tell you that I love the grocery reports. I’m in Canada, so on a completely different supply chain, but I often have little friendly chats with you in my head when I get groceries, such as “Oh look, we have lots of paper towels and Swistle was out” or “I haven’t been able to get the salsa I like for months.” I enjoy having you to “talk” to during my trips!
It’s got to be “grandfathered” because men NEED TO BE A SPECIAL EXCEPTION, HOW CAN YOU CHANGE THE RULE NOW, THAT’S HOW IT’S ALWAYS BEEN.
OK, fine grandpa, we’ll overlook it, but JUST YOU NOBODY ELSE.
I’m in the UK and we’ve been doing 90%+ of our shopping online, which is NOT AS FUN but also a lot safer and does save me a lot of time, to be fair, and cut down on impulse purchases which I suppose is a pro/con situation. Fewer opportunities to try new things, but also fewer random packages of Easter chocolate accidentally finding their way into the trolley…
Anyway! In our recent shopping deliveries the one thing we haven’t been able to get is firewood. Which is apparently due to Brexit, most of the wood comes from Latvia so it’s all stuck at the border or something absurd. It’s particularly frustrating because I bought my husband a firepit for his birthday and we haven’t been able to try it out yet.
I have not tried those almonds but god, I want to. Or do I? Will I be addicted to them? Possibly? I love salty/ sweet things and candied nuts are omg, I can’t stop.
You know what was nearly out of stock yesterday? Tofu. Like, regular blocks of tofu. What the what? There were plenty of “dessert tofu” but no just plain blocks. Was there a run on them? Is there a shortage? Stay tuned for more exciting developments.
I’m telling you this because I just learned it myself and thought you would want to know. But apparently the term “grandfathered in” had to do with ways black people were prevented from voting after the civil war. It is one of those words I’ve decided to not use now that I know about it and thought you might want to learn about the history of the term also.
This is the truth. If your grandfather could vote prior to , you didn’t need to pay the poll tax or take a civics test in order to vote.
That should have said “prior to date”
I disliked Owen Meany because it seemed SO baby boomer — and white, male baby boomer at that. It took me forever to read it. The character descriptions were great and the Christmas pageant scene HILARIOUS, but I am glad that I never have to read it again.
Not at all related to the post but thought the Swistle community would appreciate: I got en email today from Etsy saying that I could selectively mute Mother’s Day emails from them if I wanted. They recognized that some people find Mother’s Day difficult and may not like getting Mother’s Day promotional emails. I think this is surprisingly thought and hope it becomes the norm.
Oh, I love that. Of course, Etsy is now INUNDATED with people YELLING about “why would anyone want to mute MOTHERS’ DAY?? Are you anti-mother??”
I hope they stay strong.
Swistle, I saw this article about grape nuts and had to make sure you saw it lol
https://www.mercurynews.com/2021/03/25/grape-nuts-shortage-is-over-and-ardent-fans-can-request-up-to-115-compensation/
Well I rushed to the comment section to express my love of Marcona almonds. Got them a few months ago for the first time and they are amazing! I had to stop buying them because I would eat them all so fast.
I had an utterly bizarre craving for a Charleston Chew around Halloween and there were none to be found in any mixes or plain. I guess they are too old fashioned now? I admit I haven’t wanted one in probably 35 years but still…
I think I can get you Charleston Chews if you want one. They still make/sell them in MA or did the last time I was paying attention. Let me know if you want them and I’ll investigate.
I love this comments section, I just adore it
This made me crave them, too. I remember they were a Good Value for my allowance as a child: such a LARGE piece of candy. I looked on Target’s site and they have these weird little round Charleston Chews and now I MUST try them: https://goto.target.com/5bboVb But can they be as satisfying as something where you have to yank a chunk off with your molars?
Update: Yes.
The very first one I ate, I thought, “Oh. Disappointing. I probably won’t eat any more.” Since then I have eaten half the bag.
Did everyone but me know about strawberry Charleston Chews? I’m not interested and I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum, I just have no recollection of these existing, and I used to do a very serious study of the candy counter after I got my allowance each week.
https://www.candydirect.com/search?type=product&q=charleston+chew
Grocery shopping has been problematic the past couple of weeks. I live in a very small town and we are fortunate to have a grocery store at all (the town west of us doesn’t). But since I live in Colorado on the other side of the Rockies from Denver, we have issues when I-70 closes due to snowstorms. (Our trucks arrive late or not at all, and people want to stock up). And even though it is supposedly Spring, we are having snow/wind storms again so my Saturday shopping may be challenging again. Also it is hard to know if it is Pandemic/Shortage or Storm/Shortage related, in other words do I go back the next day when maybe the truck has come? But we won’t starve, and eventually I will get those things they don’t have.
owen meany is one of the few Man Books i still like but i have trouble rereading the last few pages. it’s one of my favorite books. i can;t wait to hear what you think about the ending.
My grocery shopping update is that I did an online ALDI order, which runs through instacart. Lately they have been ready before the time I pick, by maybe an hour or so. This week I got an e mail saying it was delayed until 11am, which was weird because I had picked 11am. When I checked the app it was 11am THE NEXT DAY. I had no idea that that could happen. I mean it never happened a year ago in the thick of this. I managed to message them online and they said there was an issue with the store. I asked them to refund my $2 pickup fee and they said yes and also sent a $10 coupon, which I don’t even know how to use. Then when I got my order the next day, 10 things were unavailable, which was also unusual. It wasn’t important things – mostly just snacks my kids picked out and a couple of the fun household items. So that was weird. My bill decreased by like $35.
Oh I love a grocery store update! I am an American living overseas and our stores are mostly back to normal. Yogurt for some reason still varies week to week. I can always find something that will do, I just have to be flexible with brand, size, flavor, etc. Same with certain imported items (like Mexican food) and of course cleaning products.
We don’t have a Costco here, but there is a “Warehouse Store” that used to carry some Costco items that they had shipped in from Australia or Hong Kong. Costco items were only 15-20% of the store but it was always a treat to see what had come in from month to month. Once they had the giant box of Cheez-It’s! another time the Ghirardelli brownie mix! But the one constant was that they always had the Kirkland Signature TP and Paper Towels, which are hands down the best in the world. The store sold out of those items in February of last year (covid came to this country in Jan of 2020) and they have received no Costco shipments of any kind for over a year. The only Kirkland brand item they still have in stock are dried blueberries (yuck). I am constantly checking the store website to see if they get any new stock. It will be a ridiculously happy day when I get my hands on KS TP and paper towels again.
Peanut butter Chex :)