Just now I was in the kitchen updating the list of chores the kids are supposed to work on today. As an aside: I’d started out letting the kids choose their own daily chores, since that would have appealed to me as a child. Only Rob and Elizabeth responded well to that system—which is interesting because they are both the Little Grown-Ups type of child, the kind who from infancy seems embarrassed to be considered a child, and would prefer to sit with the grown-ups, and so on. My other three are all the Babies type of children: didn’t mind being considered babies or treated as babies when they were in fact babies, don’t particularly seem to mind being considered and treated as children while they still are children, content to be told what to do and how to do it. The clear diagnostic line for me between Little Grown-Ups children and Babies children is this: Do I HATE to have to correct them and do I cringe at the idea of telling them no—the way I might if the other person were a peer? Or do I feel perfectly and automatically comfortable with both correcting and naying? With Rob and Elizabeth, I HAAAAAATE telling them no or bringing a mistake to their attention (LITTLE GROWN-UPS); with William and Edward and Henry, I don’t think twice about it, it’s super easy (BABIES).
Where was I? Oh, yes: so Rob and Elizabeth choose their own chores and do them without being told, and I write chores on the dry-erase board for the others, and I am still not tired of choosing which color markers to write with each time. After I wrote the chores, I stood there a minute, uncertain of my previous trajectory: how did I come to be in the kitchen, writing chores, when I remembered recently making tea and bringing it to my desk? After a moment, I gave up trying to figure it out and went to my desk/tea—where I saw an email confirming an orthodontist appointment. Ah ha! I’d gone to the kitchen to look at the calendar to make sure we had that appointment, and then I’d seen the dishes on the counter and put them in the dishwasher, and that had reminded me of the chores I wanted the kids to work on so I’d written those on the board. Then I’d stood there, wondering what had happened to my tea. I find this happens increasingly with age, as prophesied by our elders.
Yesterday I took a day off from keto and it was a glorious day. I ate one of the chocolate-chip cookies Elizabeth had made the night before, and some leftover Christmas cookies/bars from the freezer, and a grilled cheese sandwich, and ramen soup, and chicken nuggets, and garlic bread, and buttered toast with cherry jam, and the new Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie cereal which I was impatient to try and which did not disappoint, and some white cheddar popcorn chips, and quite of a few of the freeze-dried Skittles my sister-in-law sent for everyone’s stockings this year, and some fruit cups, and oh it was just great. But then I woke up at 2:00 in the morning with esophagus pains/spasms, and I took Tums and I went downstairs and took a few peppermint oil drops and made peppermint tea, and gradually I felt well enough to doze off in a recliner, though I kept waking up, giving myself plenty of time to wonder was it the FOODS THEMSELVES? or the overeating of those foods? or maybe the food COMBINED WITH my recently-renewed ability to drink coffee? I feel like my body is getting well into the long slow-but-escalating process of disintegration, and my first two prizes from the Aging Lottery appear to be Knee Pain and Assorted Heartburn/Esophagus Issues. And, like Nora Ephron, I am starting to feel bad about my neck.
Oh, and near Christmas I used a bunch of Advent calendar beauty samples on my eye region (sparkle eye shadow, eye creams, face creams), so I don’t know which if any of them DISPLEASED MY EYE LIDS, but it was apparently SOMETHING, and they’ve been intermittently unhappy since then: they’ll be fine for awhile, and then there is a little recurrence of itching/pinkness, and the skin continues to look a little rougher than I remember it looking before—though perhaps that too is an Aging thing, and I just didn’t notice it until there was some itching to make me look closely. I am having another little recurrence now, so I am putting some Eucerin (the kind that’s like Crisco) around the area, because the roughness of the skin reminds me of eczema, and because I remember the pediatrician telling me Eucerin was the best thing to use on a newborn’s eczema, and eyelids seem about that delicate, and the Eucerin does make them feel better; and I’ve also been using some allergy eye drops when the itching gets worse. WHY SO MUCH FALLING APART, BODY. I am feeling like everything’s so SENSITIVE now: have to be careful how I move, have to be careful what I eat, have to be careful what I put on my skin.
Would you like to make some Physical Ailment complaints, particularly the age-related kind? My friends and I have noticed that, as we get older, we need to set aside a nice chunk of time during each get-together for that particular topic.
That last paragraph is so true and made me laugh.
100% yes, came to say the same thing!!
Right there with you on the memory thing, down to the exact sequence of events. One thing leads to another, and then, three or four things in, I’m standing in a room with no idea what I was originally going to do. Sigh. I set reminders in my phone for nearly everything now. And I sync it to my iPad in case I lose my phone. My other main issue is back pain. I get a lower backache from doing dishes or stripping the beds. I just shoveled our front steps – not even the walkway! – and I feel like I need the rest of the day to recover. And I’m also waking up more frequently with a pinchy-feeling neck/shoulder, and more than once in the last six months it’s gone into full spasm because I stretched it a little too far. So I can’t do a really satisfying first-thing-in-the-morning full-body streeeeetch for fear of neck pain. And yes I feel bad about my neck; I’ve gained a small but steady amount of weight in the last ten years and I feel like half of it is under my chin. I feel like it makes me look much fatter than I really am. If I lose weight, I fear it will shrivel into a turkey wattle. I really hope that when I’m 60 I’ll look back on my 40s and realize how silly I was to worry about it!
Ha, yes—like when I was in high school and very critical of my “pot belly” and “double chin,” and now I look back with Fresh Eyes. I am trying to picture my future mid-60s self looking back on my current complaints in that way.
I’ve been criticizing my own looks for 35 years now and I really wonder when and if I’ll ever stop. Even though I know – I know! – that every time I look back I realize how cruel I was to myself, and how unnecessary it really was to think that way.
For me, it stopped when I turned 70. On that very day I thought, with relief and joy, “Now that I’m 70, I have every right to look old!” If I notice a new sign of aging, I think (joyfully), “Well, what would anyone expect … I’m in my 70s now!” It’s my favorite decade so far. I love it.
I love this!
From one Susan to another…..I felt the same way you did when I turned 70! Although I do secretly wish I could still run a quick mile, or treadmill for an hour. It just is a real pisser to age when the mind says one thing and the body says another!
Oh, I have one! I have tons wrong with me so I’ll just go into this one incredibly irritating thing: I have rosacea, and none of the things my doctor has suggested have helped, so I have red, blotchy, flaky skin (sexy and attractive!) This means I can’t really wear makeup, because my skin is too flaky for it to look good. And now that I’m ALSO getting older, I ALSO can’t attractively do anything about my beautiful older face. Except embrace it (hi, here’s my face) and use lots of moisturizer. I like to believe I am some kind of role model, but which kind I’m not sure yet.
If you are looking for a facial moisturizer for rosacea (which I suffer from as well), I’ve had alot of success with this one: https://www.vmvhypoallergenics.com/products/red-better-daily-calming-moisturizer?_pos=1&_sid=107f4fee4&_ss=r
It’s a little pricey but one tube lasts for a couple of months, and I found it to be VERY WORTH IT.
Thank you! I’ll give it a shot!
For me, it’s eczema, specifically under my boobs. As soon as I get sweaty (don’t start me on THAT topic), that area gets prickly and itchy. I’m trying to figure out which type of bra, or no bra is best, but nothing seems to be working. It’s a particularly attractive look to hoist up the girls to scratch. I feel so pretty.
Susan: I buy “sweat reducing bamboo bra liners” on Amazon. Game changer! I think the bamboo ones do a better job but cost a bit more.
Might I suggest trying Lady Anti-Monkey Butt Powder? Not the most attractive name, but I use it on the underboob area and it really soothes irritated skin (and actually helps with the sweating too). It has calamine in it, so there’s a slight fragrance, but I’m one of those people that liked putting calamine lotion on as a kid because I liked the way it smelled!
I have heard from Historical Costumers that one should always wear a chemise under one’s corset or stays to prevent chafing (and also to prevent sweat from getting on the less-washable corset).
So, could wearing a thin all-cotton or linen undershirt or camisole under your bra maybe help this?
I was actually planning on testing this idea out myself this summer.
The Arm & Hammer Antichafing stick also works a charm for this type of thing!
I also recommend the Lady Anti-Monkey Butt Powder. Ridiculous name, but it works.
The other thing I use is these bra liners https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01K1WG2KS/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 which slip under the bra band. For me they help wick up sweat and keep my bra from rubbing which seems to exacerbate the itchiness.
Aging is SO much fun! *sigh*
Thank you. Have just ordered some.
I suffer from the same thing, but I started putting anti-perspirant underneath and it works a treat! Completely stops the sweating.
Ok guys, maybe I’m alone in this particular grossness, but I’m in my forties and have started to just absolutely sprout skin tags – including underboob. Where my saggy-nursed-3-babies-boobs rub, there are skin tags both on the boob side and on the chest side. I get them on my underarm area too. And I’ve always had them on the neck – I get them removed from there once a year or so by a derm, because necklaces and seatbelts and collars saw them off and it hurts (also they’re ugly!) anyhow. This was never a problem in my dewy twenties.
I found I am lactose and fructose intolerant when my digestive system when haywire two years ago. This is the worst because I LOVE cheese and also fructose is in so many things including all fruit!
All fruit? I thought it was in small enough quantities in some fruits that you could have them. (My niece can’t have lactose, fructose, or gluten, and I am so sad for her, going through life without stone fruits or croissants.)
All fruit has fructose, some more than others. I stuck mostly to berries if I need to eat fruit. the hardest to part with was wine but now I have gin in my life. I was also tested for gluten but thankfully that I can still have.
According to someone on twitter, gin is vodka that has a tiny Victorian ghost trapped inside it, so perhaps you can live out any bad governess fantasies you might have.
I LOVE this and am stealing it.
I miss ice cream. That much dairy all at once just bloats me into next week and I regret it within hours of consumption. That came with age. Even lattes piss off my tummy now. I save my dairy for cream in the coffee and cheese. But oh how I miss it.
Right there with you on the starting to do one thing then move to the next without knowing why or how I got there. But I’m not sure it has to do with my memory or if I’m developing adult ADHD.
Also, I’m getting more acid reflux at night with bothers me to no end.
And, I just started using multifocal eyeglasses, that was a low blow for me, after using glasses since I was 16 but only for long distance.
(untwists myself from awkward sitting position that used to be comfortable, rubs sore muscles)
Your first paragraph about Little Grown-Ups and Babies made me laugh and also has me vividly remembering being maybe 8 and ranting to my mom about how much I hated when stores and brands use fake little-kid handwriting and spelling. I didn’t know the word “patronizing” at the time, but it would have nicely described what was getting my goat. SOME OF US know how to write our Rs the right way, Toys R Us! So, yes, former Little Grown-Up here.
I can’t sit cross-legged on the floor anymore and it’s bumming me out, since that used to be my preferred position for a lot of things- I was always the one happy to give the chairs to other people and sit on the floor. It’s a combination of the sacroiliitis associated with my RA and y’know, normal Old, but I repotted some plants the other day and it still hurts to walk.
I used to LOVE to sit on the floor!! And now there is no way. What a bummer!! My knees in general tend to get sore. Plus my carpal tunnel is getting worse and worse, I bet I’ll end up with surgery eventually. Also I find salty things bloat me terribly now and I LOVE salty things. Old age is not for the weak of heart!
If you haven’t yet, try physical therapy for carpal tunnel. My doctor told me surgery is actually rare these days because PT is so effective. The stretches are weird but work.
Your “Why am I here?” experience is SO relatable. Seems like it happens at least once a day these days.
As I age, I feel like I am losing my ability to regulate my body temperature. If I get too cold, I am shivering and chilly for the rest of the day. If I get too hot, I am sweaty and uncomfortable until I somehow tip over into much too cold again. Overcorrections are impossible to avoid. I am just never the exact right temperature anymore.
And here is something I recently noticed that is ridiculous but also very annoying. I am near-sighted and wear glasses/contacts to correct that issue. But if I have my contacts on in the shower, I cannot see my underarms to determine whether I need to shave them or not. They are too close for me to see with my corrected lenses! I suppose this means I now need bifocals?
I too cannot regulate my temperature. It’s so very frustrating…. I’ll be shivering in layers and the rest of my family is walking around fine in t-shirts, and then the next day I’m mainlining ice water and fanning myself and wearing shorts and the rest of my family is walking around in t- shirts. On both days the thermostat says it is 72 degrees. It just depends whether I get hot or cold first when I start my day!
I use this nearsightedness to my advantage – for example, I can only pluck my eyebrows without any vision correction, 2 inches from the mirror. But yes, it can be annoying. If I am wearing glasses, which I rarely do and therefore my prescription is probably not perfect, I can’t really see my phone and I push them on top of my head and bring the phone very close to my face. But my contacts are totally fine – my eye doctor says they have “a touch of reading help in them” somehow, though I don’t really know what that means.
It likely means that one is slightly less powerful than the other one. I am at the point that I have monofocal contacts (one of mine is significantly lower power than the other. It helps me to see my phone and computer screen with my contacts in and I’m still able to drive fine).
Weirdly they are the exact same prescription in each eye, so I’m not sure that’s it.
I’ve been told that you generally need a little less correction in contacts than glasses due to them being right in your eye, while there is a short distance between your eyes and your glasses. Maybe that’s why the contacts are working better?
I am VERY nearsighted as well (like, -9.75 in both eyes) and have had the “can’t see my armpits in the shower” issue for EVER – ie, long before I started suspecting there was a bifocal need. So! Not to say bifocals aren’t in the cards, just some reassurance that even at like 25 I remember having that issue :)
I slept on my shoulder wrong a week ago. My entire shoulder — and up my neck! — was so painful I couldn’t move. Slowly, oh so slowly, it got better (only for my other shoulder to send grumpy twinges in a “don’t you forget about me” sort of way), but for a few days I smelled like Bengay, the only (and I do mean the ONLY) thing that helped me feel less like a collection of poorly articulated joints. Weird pain! Bengay! Last week was definitely a week of feeling The Old.
Yes, I’ll take you up on your offer. I just got diagnosed with rip-roaring GERD. So rip roaring that I’ve developed chronic rhinitis (stuffy nose) and asthma. Asthma! So, here I am, trying to cut out coffee and fizzy water and everything that tastes good. And lose weight! And I still might need an EGD!
On the positive side, I am so glad to be able to do something about my mouth breathing and tight chest. But lifestyle measures arrrgh.
If I sit on the couch too long, I HOBBLE when I get up.
Also I had a daughter at age 39. Something of a miracle baby, much wanted for a long time (her brother is NINE years older than her), sunshine of my life, glorious all around, etc. But if I am playing with her on the floor and she takes off running through the house, I have to yell, “SHE’S COMING YOUR WAY” because I cannot get up off the floor fast enough.
Same, same, same. Getting off the floor is such an *endeavor*.
I, too, had my last baby at 39 (he’s almost 10) and this made me laugh out loud. I completely understand!
My last baby came at 40 — two weeks after my birthday, in fact, and if you really want me to get up on a soapbox about ageism, ask me how I was treated by everyone at the OB’s office at 40 versus 39 (the tl;dr version is “immediately shitty”). So I really feel you on the Getting Up! I finally put gates in every doorway just to corral him long enough for me to stand up. He’s almost five now and by the end of each day, I think, “why did 39yo me think that (almost) 45yo me would have the energy for this?” Of course, 39yo me could not have predicted a pandemic which would force me to become The Only Playmate Available for much of our day.
I am 38. I want another child. I haven’t considered if 45 YO Bethany does! Thanks for sharing!
I had a daughter at 42 and I feel the same way! I have to creak my way to the floor and heave myself up (holding onto sturdy furniture, of course). My back twinges a little when I lift her into her car seat and her new big girl bed is just a *smidge* too low for me. Oh well, she’s worth it.
My mom had me at 39 and my two siblings are only slightly older. I remember how the three of us would each take one of her arms and pull her up from a seated position on the floor, lol! She also used to have me walk on her back.
I am 38. I would love another baby (even though it would be the 6th!) but my husband who is also 38 told he can tell he is sliding slowly to death and is increasingly too old for more kids. He’s gotten more grey since baby 5 arrived last summer.
I’m pandemic-chatty, Rachael, and needed to share an anecdote!
Ah!! I’m having a baby at 39 later this year. My older two will be 9 and 11. I haven’t thought much about how it will be different with me being so much older and now I am worried. Ha.
Uugh with the having to be careful how I do things. Such a burden. I had to spend $100 on a pillow (1 pillow! $100!) because all the other 9000 pillows in the house made my neck and shoulders hurt after a night on them. Dairy has become a liability- like a commenter above, I am down to cream in the coffee and cheese. No more ice cream, no more cereal … I can’t “fudge” things the way I used to … I *must* remove makeup and moisturize at night, or rashes and breakouts in the morning. I *must* eat with healthy moderation or my digestive system revolts for days. I *must* get a decent amount of sleep or I am barely able to function the next day. I *must* exercise at least every other day or the scale quickens its inexorable creep upward …
This is not to say I actually *do* all these things, I just suffer the consequences more acutely. I guess I’m not *quite* old enough to know better?! I wonder when that kicks in …
I have the expensive pillow too! At least it did help.
Help a sister out! I need to know what magic pillow this is! My arms are falling asleep every night!
Oh man I was going to write a separate comment about the various issues that have begun attacking me in earnest since my mid-40s, but really this comment covers the exact problem: my ability to just wing it or let things slide is virtually nil now and I hate it. I must exercise regularly so as to sleep properly and avoid weight creep bcs that inexorably causes a massive flare up in my GERD; I can’t drink red wine or eat after 9 pm or eat too much fried food bcs GERD; I must brush my teeth and use mouth rinse and floss twice a day or my receding gums will shrivel up and leave my mouth entirely (or something); I must wash my face and moisturize with one specific product or my rosacea flares up. The self care and monitoring is exhausting and I miss the days when I could eat what I wanted, drink what I wanted, wash my face with whatever was around, and skip exercising I felt like it. BAH!
What kind of pillow helped?
Thanks, from a lady with sore neck who is awake at midnight because she needs new pillow!!!!
Ohmygosh. I’m 72 and can identify with far too many of the above comments. Believe me, ladies….things don’t get any better either! But thank you all for absolutely making my morning – it’s good to laugh this hard!
Just before my 50th birthday in November my body decided to kick into high gear with regards to falling apart. My left arm started going numb from my elbows to my fingers up to 50 times/day. I went to an orthopedic doc and after 2 months of a night splint to immobilize my elbow, a nerve conduction test, and an MRI I found out that I have 3 bulging disks and one herniated disk in my cervical/thoracic area. I have been doing cervical traction for a month and the tingling is getting better, less than once a day, but I need to continue for at least 3 times/week for another month to see if it will go away completely. My other arm has shooting pains from my elbow to the wrist and I was told it was tennis elbow and I just need to live with it as much as I can for at least 6 months before the orthopedic doc will talk about other treatment besides ice and ibuprofen.
It’s just not fair.
Oof, yes, tennis elbow – sounds like nothing. Is agonising! I have had it badly a couple of times (unusually actually from playing tennis!) and would thoroughly advise topical Voltarol (diclofenac) gel and the use of an elbow clasp. When picking up anything heavier than a tissue hurts, you need some support!
1. Little Grown-up! That was me, thank you for naming it. Me, in a restaurant, 8 years old: so mad to be given a children’s menu.
2. Age-related complaint: My KNEES are all SAGGY and I am only THIRTY EIGHT, come on. My fashionably knee-ripped jeans don’t look right with saggy knees poking out! Curse my high school self and her tan legs.
I get itchy pink eyelids when I’m stressed. My dermatologist says it’s a milder form of hives and cortisol cream helps.
Hahaha, oh, yes, PLEASE! I would indeed like to lodge a physical ailments complaint! This past Saturday morning I woke up with the WORST pain in my neck/shoulders. Just the worst! I had not been working out any more than usual, I did not remember tweaking it… maybe I fell asleep on the couch in a bad position, but truthfully I do that all the time. Anyway, I could barely lower my head, and turning it left to right was also a no-go. I thought some yoga might help but at the first downward dog, it felt like my entire back was sliding down and adding more pressure to my neck! WTH!? Two days of pain relievers (motrin and acetominophin, alternating), plus a cold pack-then-heating pad, used intermittently throughout the day, seem to have helped somewhat. And gentle (g e n t l e) stretches. Ugh.
Not to alarm, but a similar thing happened to my husband and it turned out he had some rather severe nerve stenosis and had to have surgery. Initially they thought it was a bulging disc but they got into the surgery and realized it was not.
Just to say, if it persists, maybe see your doctor.
I’m 30, and I now get migraines when I eat junk food and regularly throw my back out or piss off a knee. It hurts when I fall down. I am not Young.
…and I lost a 30yo acquaintance to covid.
I somehow thought these complaints would not happen to me because I had Plans for how to be Sufficiently Perfect, which I have not at all executed. It’s like I kept saying “ah well, there’s always tomorrow” but ran out of guaranteed tomorrows.
I feel like my face has aged considerably in the past year. I look in the mirror and I just feel haggard and pock marked. I’ve started using some creams and whatnot but I also have a doom and gloom feeling that it’s too late.
Solidarity, friend. My grandmother’s jowls and my mother’s rosacea have taken up residence on my face sometime this past year.
I have so MANY things to contribute to this discussion but I shall narrow it to the top two:
1. Like others up-thread, I am unable to eat dairy without bloating up to Beymax proportions almost instantaneously. I also recently developed an oral allergy to most fruits, which makes my mouth and skin itch and my throat hurt so now I can’t even have fruit without consequences. And having too much sugar during the day keeps me up at night and makes me feel generally like garbage. So even when I want to treat myself to something fun, I have to weigh it against my need to be alert the rest of the day or able to sleep that night. COME ON.
2. I randomly break out into full-body hives. I have done allergy testing which concluded that I’m not allergic to anything. Very mysterious, plus uncomfortable and annoying.
This all seems very unfair and I’m sorry.
So if you have been tested for allergies I expect this has been covered, but just to ask — any chance you are allergic to alpha-gal protein (found in mammal meat)? For anyone reading who’s never heard of this, it’s an increasingly common/recognized condition that can be triggered by having been bitten by a tick (who hasn’t been?), and the allergic reactions it triggers often don’t emerge until ~6 hours after the “exposure” (eating a steak, bacon, whatever) because it takes your body about that long to digest the meat enough that you are exposed to the thing you are allergic to).
I know 2 people (one of them family) who went through extensive health weirdness (some dangerous, like anaphylactic reactions) and testing before discovering this was what they had, so just thought I’d ask.
I have never been bitten by a tick. They didn’t live in my area when I was a kid as we were too far north. Thanks to climate change they are now very common, but I’m not particularly outdoorsy so have managed to avoid them so far. We’ve had to pull a couple off our dog, and I think one kid has been bitten by one, but the other child is tick-bite free as well so far.
Wow. I live in a place (have my entire life) where ticks are commonplace, cannot imagine that! I mean, I guess I can but … it seems (to me) very unusual. Then again, am also very outdoorsy, so obviously that too is a factor.
I grew up rural – on a small farm in fact. It is extremely dismaying to know that all the fields and forests I constantly roamed through and did farm work on (haying, chopping wood, etc.) as a kid are now infested with those gross little blood suckers! The most we had to worry about were mosquitoes and maybe being scratched by wild raspberries and thorn bushes.
I too have the weird sudden hives for no reason. I was just told that I have a heightened histamine response. Like if I ran a nail down my arm – HIVES. So now I must take allergy meds every night and occasionally if, for some reason that doesn’t help, I have to take them in the morning also. (for reference, these are 24 hr Allegra. TWICE A DAY) This lovely development showed up sometime in my late 40’s.
Mid-50’s here and more often than not it’s “Everything Hurts and I’m Dying.”
I don’t often leave comments, but I’m always silently nodding along to everything being discussed. But I just want to take a minute to say Thank You, first to Swistle for keeping things real, and to everyone in the comments lounge for being so inclusive and non-judgmental. Y’all are the bee’s knees!! ❤️
This post inspired me to take the test on how you get up from sitting cross-legged on the floor and yup, I need to get on one knee, so I guess I’m going to die soon.
Bummer.
OTOH, my husband informed me today that he couldn’t lift the bag of ice melt in the basement, and I can (that’s how it got to the basement, after all). I guess I’ll outlive his feeble self.
I have had neck/upper back pain/problems my entire adult life, but in the last year, if I have a spasm (which can cause issues for days) or am carrying a lot of tension, the pain radiates down my left (dominant) arm in the mornings. So far, it’s only in the mornings, and tends to go away with enough movement throughout the day, but ugh. Can’t wait for 10 years from now!
Also, I have been doing yoga twice daily since April and I love it and I think it has really kept me both sane and strong despite not getting much exercise otherwise, but … my knees start to complain after more than a minute or two in any passive bent knee pose (such as “easy” cross-legged meditation poses). They honestly hurt less when I’m in a strengthening pose (but then everything else hurts, ha). It’s frustrating to do a practice that is meant to be soothing or restorative and have to start stretching out the kinks two minutes in.
Assuming you haven’t already, and if you want to save years of wear and tear on your spine/joints, you may want to talk to a chiropractor or orthopedic doctor soon. My orthopedic doctor is convinced that because I have regularly seen a chiro for many years I was able to make it to almost 50 before my bad disks started becoming an issue.
Thank you for opening the Physical Ailments Complaints Desk; I would like to lodge a complaint. Despite eating pretty much the same things and exercising the same amount as always, my middle section has decided to expand and be more jiggly than I’d like it to be. So now I’m counting calories and adding more exercise to my routine and also pouting a lot, because it’s not fair. Also my hormones are WHACK, I can never predict when I wake up if that day will be Hot Flash Day, Sore Bosom Day, PMS-Style-Depression Day, or . . . let’s call it Enthusiastic for Marital Company Day. Menopause is not for the faint of heart!
I lost 40 lbs last year and have continued to track my calories. It is a depressing thing to discover that I now gain weight if I regularly exceed only 1700 calories. I had hoped to return safely to the “standard” 2000 calories a day adults are supposed to need.
Yes! It should be that once the weight is gone, you can go back to eating whatever you want forever! You put in the work, now you get to enjoy it. But nooooo you have to keep counting calories and denying yourself doughnuts forever or else the weight comes back. It’s very unfair.
I had a steak burrito on Thursday. Nothing out of the ordinary on it. Except 30 minutes later my bottom lip and chin swelled up like a balloon and I had a super itchy rash on my hand and arm (where I had dripped some burrito juice, as I am a classy lady who isn’t the neatest of eaters at times).
We went camping over the weekend, and by Sunday morning, my hips hurt so badly from the mattress, that my husband needed to help me put on socks. Yay for aging!
I started eating healthier a few years ago and was at a party where I decided to take a night off and eat what I wanted. I ate a few store bought, iced cookies and one glass of red wine and instantly got such terrible heartburn I had to go home. I could barely walk to the car I was in so much pain. I think was just the exact wrong combination.
My most annoying ailment is stomach issues. I have to be careful about what I eat or I get horrible indigestion pain. Dairy is an issue but if I pop a Lactaid, I can eat mostly what I want. It’s a miracle drug for me.
I’ve also had a couple of hot flashes that have given me panic attacks. I don’t have them often enough to remember what they are and it’s such a strange feeling, (like I’m about to spontaneously combust) it totally freaks me out!
So I have a lot of moles and some of them aren’t even really moles but just random bumpy stuff that grows on my body / face. Recently I have noticed more of them growing and I’m blaming that on being 40 now. There’s one that’s on my eyelid and one below my other eye and so that’s just annoying.
I had/have the same problem (moles growing, especially after my pregnancies), and 3 years ago I went to a cosmetic surgeon’s office and they laser-punch-blasted 6 of them for ~$50 each. They healed fine and are now flat moles — some still with color. The color never bothered me, but the “raised” part did — I felt like it was the first thing people looked at when they saw my face. I am SO GLAD I did this.
SKIN TAGS ON MY FACE. Not urgent enough to mask up for a medical appointment. And, I threw out my back putting on my underwear a few weeks ago. That was urgent enough for a trip to urgent care for a muscle relaxant. I remain unimpressed.
My lower back hurts basically all the time. I went to PT for it several years ago but it does not help even though I keep the folder of papers describing my exercises in a safe location. I even think about doing them sometimes, particularly when it flares up and sneezing makes me cry out in pain. Also, I have tennis elbow. And I assure you, I did not get tennis elbow from playing tennis at the club.
Hahaha! “Even though I keep the folder of papers describing my exercises in a safe location.” This made me snort with laughter so loud I startled our dog! I wonder how many of us have those, very neatly filed, papers with directions from a PT? I certainly do!
I have this same ineffectual folder of exercises. And the same ubiquitous lower back pain. Sigh.
I got tennis elbow from *checks notes* too much cross stitching to stop from eating my feelings for the past 2 years. Definitely not tennis.
I caught a glimpse of my own reflection in the microwave door and in that light I could see that my undereyes are not only bruised-looking in colour, but also puffy. So that was a new perspective on my own face.
Also, once a month (consistent with a certain point in my cycle, even though I don’t HAVE a cycle anymore) my gums swell up and hurt, as do the lymph nodes in my neck, but only on the side of my body that I had an ovary and a giant cyst removed from a year ago.
I feel like google needs to track frequency of search as well as history of search, so it can say things like “You search for this about every 4 weeks. You don’t have leukemia, lupus, or covid. The lymph nodes on the right side of your body just swell up once a month for no clear reason.”
I get the gums situation as well, not every month, but when I do get it, it coincides with my cycle. I mentioned this to my dentist and I think he was shocked to have had someone say “my period” in his office. *shrugs*
I have a chronic pink itchy (kind of scaly?) eyelid too. It concerns me that when this first happened a few years ago I monitored it closely and tried many different creams and was very aware of it’s comings and goings. And now it’s just like that and I seldom think about it or try anything to help it. WHAT HAVE I BECOME??
This past year has been hard on my face and body as well. I’m hoping summer delivers a few life preservers in terms of more activity and more sun.
This morning I went to the doctor to have a mole checked, and after she had pronounced it Nothing To Worry About, she asked “while you’re here, is there anything else?”.
I am 61. There is EVERYTHING else. I used to wonder how people could dismiss the symptoms of serious illnesses – now I wake up daily with some new and exciting ache, pain or weirdness.
Given the 15-minute appointment time limit, I just restricted it to the small lump that has formed on the upper side of my wrist. It’s apparently a ganglion cyst (also Nothing To Worry About) but I am telling you this boring story because she said the old-school treatment was ‘whack it with a Bible’. I suppose a dictionary would do, at a pinch.
I’m curious if it was the whacking part that was supposed to do any good (i.e. a physical sort of treatment) or if it was the bible part (i.e. an old wives’ tale sort of treatment).
Maybe both, e.g. parochial school?
Ganglions are fluid filled cysts near tendons (I get them near my thumb or at the base of my fingers) and whacking them was a way to pop them. That actually causes more damage and now they just recommend massaging them. The bible was probably just a heavy object most people owned.
I suspect it’s because that was the biggest book that many households owned. In my house it would have to be the Shorter Oxford Dictionary but I am too fond of the rest of my hand to try it.
There is EVERYTHING else. I have a feeling I’ll use this during my upcoming well visit. I’m fine minus the hair loss, weight gain, anxiety, borderline depression, let’s add my father’s recent cancer death to the family history line which will cause a referral for a colonoscopy…oh this is going to be a treat!
OATMEAL CREME PIE CEREAL WHAT
IT IS QUITE TASTY
I hear you on the memory thing. Years ago I read Still Alice and it terrified me THEN, I can’t imagine now. Sometimes I will go into the pantry chanting the thing I want – dish soap, dish soap – and then I will realize that was an Alice Coping Mechanism. Eeeee. I mostly feel fine about other things until I see a photo of myself and MY NECK.
Good to know I’m not the only one who thinks of Still Alice during any similar mental lapse!
As a recently turned 50-year-old, I have many complaints. Most of them have been listed above. But currently, my chief complaint is my weight has reached an unhealthy point. I have not done anything differently than I have for the past 10 years. I am aware that exercise and eating less will help with this and at the same time being the age of 50 makes it VERY DIFFICULT to lose weight. So, this is a fun conundrum that I don’t want to deal with.
The skin, on my face, is starting to sag. I have unhappy resting face.
I would also like to protest that my husband looks MORE handsome than when we married and I look decidedly less alluring. I deem this very unfair.
I was going to say something else but alas, I have already forgotten.
My husband is ALSO getting more handsome as he ages! I actually deem this fair because I have to look at him and not at me, haha.
This is a very good point.
PAUL TOO. When we got married, I would say I was measurably better-looking. But now I am aging and he is looking increasingly distinguished and almost George Clooneyish—and also, beards are in, and he looks great in a beard.
I would love to be doing more exercise but I literally get drowsy afterwards, especially if it’s somewhat intensive. That did not used to happen. Like, I immediately need an hour long nap. Also, my knees just can’t bear strenuous activity anymore. I would also like to complain about how much harder it is for me to fall asleep these days and, like last night, stay asleep. Thanks for hearing me out and good to know I’m not alone!
I did not read all the comments – but just in case no one else mentioned it, there’s a thing called blepharitis that is flaky itchy eyelids. I get this – it comes and goes. A few things that impact this for me is diet (the one time I tried keto, it made it worse for me), my thyroid (when it’s “off”, it gets worse), and season (fall is bad for me). The cure, believe it or not, is HOT COMPRESSES. If you use them twice a day (5 minutes or so each time) for like 3 days, it may go away.
I also just developed itchy flaky eyelids and also attributed it to an old eye cream that probably should have been thrown away! I also bought an antimicrobial spray that promised to cure blepharitis and against all odds, it is helping. So there’s that. Weird to spray a very mildly bleach-y thing ON MY CLOSED EYES but it really does help.
Ooh, let me crack my knuckles and start typing! I turn 40 in a few mere weeks. I decided to tackle my health this year, as a result. Last year sent me on this exhausting goose chase regarding one pupil randomly dilating for NO REASON, which can mean bad things, or can mean you have a weird eyeball. So after many tests, many appointments, I was diagnosed with a weird eyeball (actually weird migraines).
So I started the year off with a regular check up. It got me a brisk referral for a mammogram, notice that my liver enzymes had NOT improved as I had hoped, I needed to stop drinking, try to stop NSAID use. Oh, and my cholesterol was entirely too high, so please much better diet and exercise. The mammogram required a follow up ultrasound. The liver enzymes require a follow up liver ultrasound. Remember when ultrasounds used to be to look at babies? Now they are to look for cancer and thing like non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. So in the meantime, I’ve been eating vegan and walking 3 miles every day (and still barely moving the scale) and drinking NO booze. But, I guess maybe I’ll get to live a bit longer? Which I think(?) will be worth it. Oy vey.
I sincerely believe that so many of the new aches and pains and stiffness is pandemic related. I wonder why I can’t sleep and weird parts of my body are stiff (except my tummy, which is extra flabby) and I remember that I’m trying to parent and manage my kids’ zoom-school (and work full time as a hospital nurse) during a pandemic, and that’s not even mentioning the unprecedented political turmoil we’ve experienced in the last year. Of course I can’t sleep or concentrate. Of course my shoulders are so stiff – they’ve taken up residence right next to my ears! My whole body is a tight wad of tension. I’ve been secreting enough of the stress hormone cortisol that my body has gotten the message that it should hold on to all calories- store near bellybutton (not at all related to the Oreos). Anyway, I’m optimistic that this is all going to get a lot better…. sometime.