If the response to yesterday’s post is an indication, it seems we are Here For a mix of OH GOD IS THIS THE END OF OUR COUNTRY AS WE KNOW IT, complaining about the “””cleaning””” methods of our housemates, and discussing recent purchases—which is basically the current contents of my brain, so good, let’s continue as long as we’re here.
I am gradually learning which things work better to order for pick-up and which work better to order for shipping. This morning I received two of Target’s LARGEST shipping boxes, and they weighed so little I thought they might be empty. It turned out each contained ONE of the two windshield wipers I’d ordered. To be fair, the wipers were not available for pick-up, which is why I had them shipped. And I could see why it would be a good idea to package the somewhat fragile and spindly windshield wipers separately from, say, heavy crashy things such as jars of peanut butter and cans of beans. But surely the pair could have traveled companionably together? Well, it feels like the wrong moment in history to make little constructive criticisms of shipping facilities.
I would like to make a spousal complaint about Mr. Thistle, aka Little Miss He Absolutely Did Not Do Whatever it Is I’m Mad at Someone for Doing, Even If He Absolutely Did. Here is an example. I keep a roll of masking tape in a kitchen drawer; I use it to label containers of leftovers. It is WELL-KNOWN that that particular roll MUST STAY IN THAT DRAWER OR MOTHER WILL LOSE HER MIND. I will buy ANYONE WHO ASKS a roll of masking tape OF THEIR VERY OWN! TWO rolls! But leave MY masking tape in that drawer, because when I am drearily cleaning up the kitchen after drearily feeding everyone yet another meal, I am in NO MOOD to go looking for that tape. Anyway, the other day it was missing, and I made a loud and extended remark about it. Paul said he personally hadn’t seen or used that roll of masking tape in months. MONTHS! But that he would be happy to let me use HIS roll of masking tape, which he keeps in his desk drawer, which is why he would NEVER take mine. He went to fetch it, and then there was a little pause, and then he said that actually he had TWO rolls in his drawer, so I could HAVE one. He said this magnanimously, even though it was IMMEDIATELY clear to BOTH of us that he HAD taken my masking tape, and then had accidentally returned it to his desk drawer—and, since I use masking tape nearly every day, it DEFINITELY had not been “””MONTHS”””.
It’s eight days until Inauguration Day. Today Congress is requesting the Vice President and Cabinet to please declare the President unfit for office and have the Vice President take over. No one really expects that to work, but it would be nice to have them on record as declining that offer. Tomorrow begins the Impeachment process. IT’S EIGHT DAYS UNTIL INAUGURATION DAY. CAN WE HURRY THIS UP A BIT. PERHAPS GET STARTED WITH IMPEACHMENT WHILE WE’RE WAITING FOR THE VP TO IGNORE THE REQUEST. PERHAPS CONSIDER WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND. ETC. There are pretty intense concerns that the inauguration will not be safe, and that state capitals will also not be safe.
Meanwhile Covid-19 is cropping up closer and closer. At first I was hearing about it happening to more distant connections: Paul’s aunt’s husband’s brother, for example, or a childhood friend’s mother-in-law. Now my cousin has it (not the racist one I finally had to unfriend—this cousin is one of my dearest friends), and her husband has it, and a different dearest friend’s daughter has it, and Elizabeth’s friend’s sister has it.
I have been getting hives again, and although I will need to get this officially checked out when it’s safe to do so, it’s pretty clear they’re stress related. Around Election Day: HIVES HIVES HIVES EVERY DAY HIVES. After the Election was called: NO HIVES. Christmas stress: HIVES AND HIVES! After Christmas but before attempted coup: NO HIVES. Attempted coup: HIVES. I’m taking a daily Zyrtec, and also take benadryl before bed when I have any active hives.
Also, awhile back my OB/GYN recommended a B-complex supplement for handling peri-menopausal symptoms (she says it’s also good for adolescent symptoms, and said at one point she put herself and her teenaged daughters all on it for everyone’s safety), and I ran out of it and needed to buy more, and I chose this particular formula SOLELY because it has the word stress in the name. (I take half a tablet, because of only half believing it will help, and because those are Very High Doses of B vitamins, and they’re not particularly cheap. I double-checked with the Target pharmacist the first time I bought some, and he said it wasn’t dangerous to take so much, it just makes for very expensive pee.)
(image from Target.com)
I also bought this Sleepytime Extra tea, which I keep forgetting to try in the evening before bed:
(image from Target.com)
When I used to work in a pharmacy, a co-worker and I had a stretch of finding work Very Very Stressful (corporate was dramatically cutting staff hours, so that most of our shifts were now frantically busy and impossible, and of course customers reacted by being frustrated and upset with us all day long, which we couldn’t really argue with because we WERE failing to meet reasonable expectations, but on the other hand it’s pretty stressful to have people mad at you all day long for something that’s not your personal fault, and we were crying pretty much every day and making hysterical plans to quit), and we asked our pharmacist boss if the valerian root supplements we stocked actually worked or if it was just woo-woo herbal lies, and he said oh, no, valerian root was a real thing that actually did have an effect, and so my co-worker and I each went out into the store, each bought a bottle, and each took a capsule on the spot, and it became a running joke, and where was I going with this story that no longer seems worth it? Oh, yes: that the valerian in this tea might actually work, though probably it would make more sense to buy a bottle of valerian root capsules and swallow one or two with a cup of better-tasting tea (even the capsules taste/smell TERRIBLE, so I don’t have high hopes for the flavor of the tea).
OMG. A version of the masking tape happens regularly around here. to be fair, culprit’s short term memory is GARBAGE (as is hearing). And that’s fine. Except culprit refuses to acknowledge that short term memory is garbage and therefore, HE WOULD REMEMBER. Except, oh…well, my short term memory is garbage, dontcha know?
There is also the hearing thing, where I will be standing in front of him and say something and he will hear not that…but then SWEARS he heard XYZ from outside. And I’m like, the fatal flaw here is not poor short term memory nor is it bad hearing. It’s the complete and total 100% of the time lack of self awareness about these two things. And even when I’m like “are you sure? sometimes you forget”, culprit will be all “OF COURSE I’M SURE I KNOW WHAT I DO/HEAR” except is then eating crow within 60 seconds. The OTHER thing about this is it drives culprit bananapants when someone significantly younger, that also lives in our house, exhibits the same behavior and I’m like “THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL WHEN YOU DO THIS.” and I get back like a look of utter incomprehension. And I want to defenestrate everyone. The end.
OH. MY. GOD. The anger and righteous indignation when offspring behave EXACTLY LIKE HIM coupled with the INABILITY OR REFUSAL AT THIS POINT I DO NOT FUCKING CARE to recognize said behavior as HIS! OWN!!!
We are all around each other much too much and I never get a break from things which are easier ignored or missed in “real life.”
…more easily ignored.
yep. normally I’d have a good 5 hours alone to not deal with any of this and watch soothing Bernadette Banner videos on YouTube whilst knitting things (or cooking or cleaning or whatever I chose). But now? I can’t even podcast or audiobook because everyone else is ON IMPORTANT ZOOMS and I can’t do it with headphones because I’m the default parent and might be needed for something.
You’re strangers and there’s a pandemic but oh my how I want to show up on your doorsteps and just feel fully understood for an hour or two.
ME TOO. I feel understood!
My father has a fear of growing old and thus categorically refuses to even consider that his hearing is going, and there is no way he wants to be seen with hearing aids, so we just end up speaking very loudly when we address him. He can’t even hear the doorbell anymore, so when someone arrives my stepmother or brother have to drop whatever they’re doing to go answer the door. Also on the list of things that he does so that he doesn’t “look old”:
– dyes his hair, but not well. I’m not kidding or exaggerating when I say he has the worst hair of anyone I know these days. At least he used to get it cut professionally, but now he’s getting my brother to just trim the back in kind of a bowl cut at the bottom, and letting the rest grow long enough to “tuck it behind his ears”, so the spotty application of grecian formula he does himself is even more obvious. His hair is patches of unnatural colour with long grey roots at this point. It’s like the hair of Boris Johnson crossed with the hair of Tr*mp, with an unimaginably bad dye job.
– won’t let his wife stop dying her hair. My stepmother has dyed her hair various shades of red for the many years I’ve known her, and she wants to go her natural grey, but my dad thinks having a grey-haired wife will make him look old. Said wife is 18 years younger than he is!
My dad (82) has hearing aids. You could not see them if you tried. They reside deep in the ear. Tell your dad that saying, “What? SPEAK UP!” looks WAY older than hearing aids do and is more frustrating to everyone else.
My stepdad (75) went bald at 18 and has gone the Kojak route. Here he is 6 years ago.
He looks about 60.
The link didn’t go through. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152704731767832&set=pb.511827831.-2207520000..&type=3
My dad is also 82. We have tried to convince him about the hearing aids using that argument, and his wife has even said privately to him that his hair ages him, but he is entrenched and will not be convinced on either front.
My dad was also like this! CONVINCED hearing aids would be “giving in” to aging or something. I genuinely don’t remember what changed his mind – it certainly wasn’t any of us. Oh – it might be that he was starting to exhibit memory/dementia symptoms, and the fact that he couldn’t hear anything was exacerbating that, and he’s more afraid of Alzheimer’s than anything else.
He still only wears them when he “think he’ll need them” (SPOILER ALERT: that is 100% of the time, dad) and also wears his hair very long/shaggy to hide the completely invisible wires. Ahhhh dads. :)
My dad held out on cataract surgery for a short while too as that was something that old people needed. That didn’t last long though, because the doctor that certifies his physical health for maintenance of his pilot’s license told him that he wouldn’t pass it the next year without the surgery. And keeping his pilot’s license takes priority for him. If only he needed to demonstrate good hearing for that!
You are all my people! I make the mistake of trying to talk to my husband when he is about to start a nap in the recliner. It goes like this…
Me: Hey, are you awake?
Him: Yep
Me: So….(me sharing some tidbit or important fact)
Him: Really?
Me: Did you hear me?
Him: YES! I’m not sleeping!
Cue us a few days later, and him having NO IDEA what I’m talking about. He always seems so affronted whenever I mention he might have been sleeping. I am ALL for naps, so I don’t get it. He will NEVER admit he may have been wrong though, and at almost 27 years of marriage? I will totally admit-it DOES bug me. How hard is it to say, “oh, maybe I was wrong!”.
That tape story was VERY satisfying for some reason.
Thank you,
Swistle, I had to spend several long seconds blinking and breathing and staring into space after reading the masking tape paragraph.
I keep getting emails about summer camp that are STRESSING ME OUT. Obviously, I would like my kid to go to summer camp this summer if it is safe for her to do so. But we cannot know right now whether it will be safe or not! And I of course know the camps need to plan ahead or whatever, but it is JANUARY and they are sending SO MANY emails and they all are very urgent and keep stressing that capacity will be lower than usual. I don’t want to miss out entirely on the option of summer camp, should things get wildly better… but I ALSO don’t want to think about summer camp in January! during an ongoing pandemic! when we don’t know at all what the future holds!
I’m not sure where you live, but the thought here where I live in Canada is that this summer will be like the last one – everyone staying home for the whole season, maybe getting together outdoors spaced out and in low numbers. Our fingers are crossed that enough of the population will be vaccinated by the end of the summer that restrictions will realistically be able to ease sometime in the fall.
My province just announced a state of emergency and a new stay-at-home order because we’re headed in the wrong direction right now as a result of people getting together over Christmas, even though a good chunk of the population was pretty compliant and stayed home over the holidays.
The summer camp emails! I feel this in my bones. I keep getting emails from one of only two camps I signed either of my kids up for last year before everything went to heck. They were the camp that gave me a MASSIVE run around about getting a refund even though I informed them several times that Oldest turns 18 this Spring and, therefore, ages out of camp so NO I WILL NOT TAKE MY REFUND IN THE FORM OF A CREDIT FOR NEXT SUMMER (pant pant pant). It was to be Oldest’s last overnight camp with a bunch of friends that he’d gone to this camp with forever and it didn’t happen and he was crushed and they gave me such a huge run around now they want me to sign up Youngest for this summer already? NO. The one camp I signed Youngest up for refunded the money as soon as it became clear there would be no camps this summer before I even contacted them. I’ll sign Youngest up for that camp early if they ask (but they probably won’t because they know better) . BAH!
A few days ago, I labeled a pen ‘mom’s pen’ and taped this label on the pen in hopes that my children will NOT take my pen. I like the way it writes. If I was smart, I would note what kind of pen it is and order more on Amazon before it disappears . . . as we all know its disappearance is just a matter of time.
I still manage to revert to my childhood self at times, the preserved childhood part of me that believes that people are to be trusted in their positions. For example, teachers know what they are doing and would NEVER be mean or snotty to a child who struggles with, say ADD, or something. No idea how I continue to trust they everyone is doing what they are SUPPOSED to do, because as an adult I witnessed a few teachers act totally inappropriately towards my children with ADD and I was SHOCKED. As in, WAIT, DON’T THEY KNOW THEY AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BELITTLE MY CHILD? Anyway, I look at the leadership in our country and I still am SHOCKED at what has transpired. No idea why I have this locked in belief that people do stuff that they aren’t supposed to do. What on earth.
Swistle. I love you.
1) Nice try Mr. Paul S. Thistle, Esq. The trial is over and you’ve been sentenced to MASKING TAPE JAIL FOR TEN THOUSAND YEARS. *bangs gavel*
2) I’m a weirdo who loves Original Recipe Sleepy Time Tea (not ANY of the flankers with extra things like lemon or licorice or green tea or Tropical Whatever) and I agree valerian is yucky. My two recommendations in this area are: a) topical versions of sleepy stuff: aka Sleepy/Twilight from LUSH or (much cheaper) “Liquid Pajamas” lotion that I bought at Kohls during a sale that has valerian IN IT, or b) if available in your area and you are ok with it, CBD. Mr. Moxey’s Mints are spendy but sooooothing. Side note: the recreational weed store a mile from my house has saved me during Pandemic Times because I can’t/don’t drink. And this is coming from someone who hasn’t smoked weed since 1998 (PS: I’m old and I was in Amsterdam). Edibles = LIFE SAVING SNACKS.
I had a combination of stress, absolute need to drive some order out of chaos, and credit card that means that I have a few things arriving at my home.
– A spin mop
– A cannister vacuum cleaner
– A drying rack
– A skillet (I could use a new set of cookware in general, but the skillet is a first priority since mine is warped on the bottom and all of the cooking oil pools at the bottom and gets too hot and smokes every time I cook something)
– A pastry wheel (because when I make homemade noodles, which I will do on January 19th because I will need some soothing, I want them to have zig zag edges instead of the straight edges that I get with a pizza cutter)
– A new paint by numbers canvas
I have a pizza cutter. I have been cutting noodles, on the rare occasion I make my own, with a chef’s knife. I feel ridiculous, but also happy that there will be more homemade noodles in our life… Thank you.
Noodles are so completely comforting. I wish you good luck with yours!
(I spent an hour searching for variations of “wheely thing to cut noodles” before learning that it is called a pastry wheel. My mom’s is a hand-me-down from her mom and was always called the “noodle thing”.)
I’ve been trolling for a nice paint-by-number canvas project for months, will you share what you found?
I am new to paint by numbers, but here are the ones I have with some thoughts:
This is the first one that I bought. I liked that it seemed like something that I would hang in my house, and that it was my favorite colors. The lots of tiny spaces made it seem like it took forever to make progress, but it was also easy to hide mistakes and the final product is very nice: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08FWZZYFD/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
This is the second set. I’ve finished two of the three. The spaces are much larger, so it goes quicker, but I don’t like that there’s not a lot of variation in the colors. You also have to paint the white space around the plants, which isn’t as satisfying as I thought it would be. It’s very modern looking though: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08SHWR667/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_20G.Fb8EQ8VYY?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
This is the one that I have just purchased and not opened yet: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B077T5XWGX/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Ooo I really like the third one! I’ve had a hard time identifying brands/ manufacturers, resulting in limited search results. Thank you!
Pink Picasso is a good brand, I’ve heard- my sister has done a few and loved them!
Thanks!
You know how you sometimes get regularly irritated by something and might even think someone should do something about that, but you don’t really know who that someone is or how they might do something, so you just keep getting irritated. Then someone finally does something! And the irritation is gone! It’s only then that you realize just how deeply irritated you were because now that it’s gone, you’re practically euphoric.
That’s how I feel about the social media bans of someone I didn’t even follow, but who regularly posted garbage that riled people in the worst way. I will breathe easier after inauguration day.
I think you’re going to have to label your masking tape. :)
Yes! Write it on the inside of the roll!
For the hives – I treat small patches with topical hydrocortisone. But, I recently learned about Sarna lotion for large patches of hives or rash (like half my daughter’s body at least once a week) and it’s great. My 5 year old loves it and says it smells like mint. I think it smells like old lady. But, it does the job.
I’m pleased to learn about Sarna lotion because I too have a five year old with very sensitive, hivey skin. Thank you!
I have that exact B stress complex vitamin, which I got because of the high levels of zinc (good for immunity), but I stopped taking it because 1. if I took it before eating breakfast, it made me nauseous, and 2. it made my pee bright yellow. I don’t know if that was from the vitamins or the tablet being yellow, but it bothered me and that was the only effect I noticed.
Now I’m curious to try valerian. I have a bottle of ashwagandha to try, but I keep forgetting at bedtime. Has anyone else tried it? It’s an herbal remedy that’s supposed to be good for stress and sleep.
The bright yellow pee is just the riboflavin! We pee out the extra our bodies can’t use, and it’s…very yellow. Bright and sunshiney!
Zinc you need to take on a full stomach because it will make you nauseous. We found that out the hard way. It will even make my husband and I feel all jittery and anxious too, along with feeling like you’re going to be sick. Which is awful when you’re taking it because you want your immune system boosted and then you feel like you’re getting ill – but really you’re just overdosing on zinc! So I take it with dinner and I only take half a pill so it’s 200% of the recommended dose and not 400%. I also find that if you take it regularly (at half dose) your body can get used to it and you don’t feel sickly.
My husband enjoys the sleepytime tea, but I HATE his breath afterwards. Luckily, he doesn’t drink it often.
Re: Vitamins, I’ve been taking my store brand’s equivalent of Centrum Silver Women 50+, which has been making me feel sort of filled with Vim and Vigor, and also has iron in it, which definitely helps my mood.
The masking tape thing would drive me absolutely bonkers. What the actual hell, Paul?
If you would like less expensive pee / more bang for your buck, try methylated B vitamins. They are easier for your body to use, but still safe because anything you don’t need still comes out as neon pee. With nonmethylated stuff, you end up peeing out some of what your body actually might have liked to use if it could.
Suggest you get some string and TIE THAT FREAKING MASKING TAPE ROLL TO THE HANDLE OF A KITCHEN DRAWER. Which is something you shouldn’t have to do, but yet HERE WE ARE.
Or tie Paul to his desk and leave him there. Whatever’s easiest!
My mom labels her scissors for where they should be returned to when they inevitably walk off. And the nice sharp ones are clearly labeled SEWING ONLY so don’t you date dull them on paper craft projects.
I live in a state capital that is officially in a state of emergency in anticipation of next week, and also our school board decided tonight that infection rates of TWICE AS HIGH as the last time they shut down is a good time to start opening back up again, so I generally trying to not think too hard about the general state of the world and am generally unimpressed with the people making decisions around here.
OH ALSO. Is it possible that the wipers were shipped from two different locations? I have noticed that this happens sometimes when I buy things online in multiples; I order three and two come together but one comes by itself from some other location. Especially if they ship from the store and not from a warehouse.
Kava tea is great for sleep. My DH has a difficult time sleeping and this puts him out every time. I can only find it locally at Target.
May I suggest colored masking tape? We had to do this with phone chargers. Husband has a bright red one because he kept stealing everyone else’s. If he is using a white or black charger I know he stole it and shame him into returning it It was causing issues because he would literally unplug school iPads to take charger then the kids would have trouble for class.
I would also enjoy having colored masking tape. I’m inspired by the uses mentioned here – esp the don’t eat signs.
This is genius. new charger for hubs going into next online order. Can never find a charger and they are all on his desk!
Thank you for this tip; I added a box to my last Target pick-up!
Dear Swistle,
long time lurker here. I just want to thank you for your comforting presence!
When anxiety/stress is keeping me awake, lavender oil capsules (to swallow, from the pharmacy) help. They just make you burp lavender but I find that comforting now it’s associated with sleep. Don’t know if those exist where you are, I’m not in the US
I’ve been taking biotin supplements along with my myriad multivitamins, and my hair has never been fuller and it grows so much more quickly.
Once my son bought a Harry Potter map thing – literally, a map – with his birthday money. It arrived in this gigantic box with tons of bubble wrap. You could have fit 1000 maps in that box.
I take biotin too (as well as some other supplements). My hair, skin and nails are a lot better now.
General fyi: one thing to keep in mind is that biotin messes with lab levels done for thyroid hormones. So it’s necessary to stop them a while before those levels get done (I usually do a week prior) or point it out to the lab. I prefer not taking it though, as I’m kinda distrustful if that kind of information needs to both get passed on and then properly handled.
We have a masking tape issue here, too. I use it when I’m unpacking groceries to mark things that shouldn’t be eaten because someone is planning to use them to cook dinner. Ours went missing last week and I had to resort to using scotch tape to attach post-its to food. Everyone was asked multiple times do you know where the masking tape is? I eventually found it in my youngest’s room because they left a drawer partly open. They weren’t that impressed by my argument that common resources should not be hidden in one’s room.
This comment section alone has been a soothing balm to my troubled mental state! How is hearing complaints of noncompliant spouses and offspring helpful? I don’t know! but it sure is! Thank you, Swistle, for providing the best part of my day :)
The best supplement I’ve found for stress/anxiety is rhodiola. When my husband was diagnosed with cancer out of the blue, I lost my mind. I’ve never had problems with depression, just occasional anxiety around my kids when they were younger, stuff like that. But this broke me. I couldn’t stop crying, I lived in the future imagining myself alone, etc. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced and I could not pull myself out of it.
I didn’t want to go on antidepressants or something so after some research I tried rhodiola (after first trying HTP-5 with no success). For whatever reason, this stuff works for me. After about 4 days I was coming back to myself. Originally I took 1 a day, and now I split a capsule in three (I fill two empty capsules with the extra) and take it daily. It really has saved my sanity. I admit I’ve been taking a full one periodically each week since all this political shit has gone down but at least I can cope!
Also, I’d be taking myself an extra roll of masking tape from Paul’s drawer and feigning ignorance. :)
I also take a daily dose of omeprazole, and I wonder if your doctor told you that it inhibits absorption of calcium and magnesium? Mine mentioned it very casually, as an aside, which I found sort of alarming. When I pressed her on it, she told me that there have been studies linking PIPs to increased risk of pelvic fracture in post-menopausal women and that I should take Calcium Citrate (which doesn’t seem to come in any yummy chews, just boring capsules boo). Anyway, just thought I’d share in case your doctor was as blasé about this as mine!
MY DOCTOR DID NOT MENTION IT AT ALL, EVEN CASUALLY! NOR DID THE GI DOCTOR WHO DID THE ENDOSCOPY TO SEE IF I COULD KEEP TAKING IT!! I just looked it up and INDEED. And I have been taking extra magnesium because it’s recommended for a keto diet, but NOT calcium, except what’s in my multivitamin!! I am trying not to panic, but I am also ordering a bottle of calcium citrate!!
I think you need a secret hiding place for your tape, as Paul has proven he can’t be trusted. Although, Meg’s suggestion that you tie it to a drawer handle is appealing because there’s something delightfully shaming about that…
It appeals to me too!! I have ordered THREE additional rolls of masking tape, just in case anyone tries to take my TIED roll!
We have his and her eye masks and nail clippers for this very reason. Mine kept disappearing forever so I feel you.
Can we do another mail packages post? Some of mine shipped over a month ago still have not arrived (nor have their replacements) so I’d love a checkin.