Last night I had a stress dream related to the upcoming First Curbside Grocery Shopping Trip. I dreamed I had the groceries delivered, and that the delivery guy came into the house and then was sort of looking around cheerfully and chatting, and then the eight people who were waiting for him in his car came into my house and sat in the living room not wearing masks, and then I realized I wasn’t wearing a mask and felt very embarrassed to have inadvertently acted as if I didn’t care about the delivery guy’s health, and so on.
This morning I headed out stoically. I reminded myself, as I do in New To Me situations, that although this is new to ME, it is not new to the EMPLOYEES. (Similarly, when I have to make a phone call, I remind myself that although I hate phone calls, the person who is answering the call is someone who has chosen to answer phones as part of their job, so they probably feel perfectly comfortable.) And I reminded myself that it is FINE to be new at things and it is FINE to say so: it is fine, when encountering something confusing, to say, “Oh, sorry, I’m new to this—what are those options again?” or whatever. IT’S ALL FINE.
I arrived at the store parking lot and drove around a bit, feeling increasingly anxious as I couldn’t see anything that was labeled as a curbside pick-up area. But then, of course, because this is reality and it would not have disappeared in the night or be up on the roof or whatever, I found it. It was a little one-way loop, and there were two cars in the loop ahead of me, which was GREAT because I could watch them and see how things went for them. There was a sign at the beginning of the loop asking me to call a number, and I did, and when someone answered I was very stammery and uncertain, and that’s completely fine and no one cares even one tiny bit. He asked my name, and I told him, and he said “And you’re the third car, right?” and I said yes, and he said he’d be right out.
Then all three cars waited for 15 minutes with nothing happening. It was odd, but it was not my problem to deal with, so I played Candy Crush. Then an employee came out, very hurried, with two full carts. The first car’s driver stayed in the car, and the employee loaded things into her trunk; the second car’s driver got out of the car and helped the employee load things into the back of the car; so I could see I had options. I decided to stay in the car. I heard the employee apologizing to the other drivers, saying that he hadn’t been able to find a couple of the bags. After he helped them, they both drove off, I pulled up, and he was back out with my cart less than 5 minutes later. There was no dilly-dallying or eye contact: he said “Good morning!” as he wheeled past my window; he loaded everything into the trunk and closed it; he said “Have a good day!” as he wheeled back past my window. And no car pulled up behind me the whole time I was there, so it was pretty clear that “three cars waiting for 15 minutes” was an anomaly.
It was unexpectedly odd to unpack my groceries and have that be the first time I’d seen them. I am SO ACCUSTOMED to hand-picking each item, then seeing it again as I load it onto the belt, and then seeing it for the third time as I unpack it. This time, each bag was a little surprise—particularly because this isn’t my usual grocery chain, so the store brands look different. Even with familiar brands, I feel like I want to say more about how weird this was, but I don’t know how. It’s not like it’s different from mail-order, where something arrives without me choosing it off a shelf. But it WAS different! It felt different, and odd!
This is going to sound a little silly, but I was actually feeling kind of TOUCHED—as if the grocery store was taking care of me. Here were all my foods, packed up for me in bags even though I hadn’t shopped! I felt it particularly when I opened up the bag that had my special Rebel ice cream in it: it’s one of my Emotional Support Foods, and I’d ordered four pints (with “okay to substitute flavor but not brand” in the notes field), and there were my four pints: three of one flavor and one of another, instead of two of two flavors as ordered, so I could see they had carefully followed my instructions.
I felt less touched as I started to encounter the errors. Two 10-ounce bags instead of two 20-ounce bags. One single tomato instead of two pounds of tomatoes. I said my little soothing mantra: “This is just how it is in a pandemic.” The store also claimed to be completely out of ground beef and ground turkey, which feels so unlikely, but perhaps? Perhaps the key is to choose a pick-up slot later in the day. (But yesterday afternoon, when I was editing my order, they ALSO claimed to be out of both ground beef and ground turkey.) But again, everything is fine: If I have to zip into my usual grocery store for ground beef/turkey and tomatoes, I am still breathing MUCH LESS SHARED AIR than if I’d done my entire shopping trip in there.
With my order they included my receipt, which shows they ran my groceries through a register—which is GOOD, because it means I only got CHARGED for two 10-ounce bags and one single tomato, so I don’t have to deal with fixing that. (Since I’d used my credit card when checking out online, I’d worried that they’d use THAT total—but I should have known they couldn’t do that, since I had produce and deli and other need-to-be-weighed items in my cart.)
They also included a printout that showed each item they were out of, a copy of what I’d written in the little comments field, and what action they took. So for example, it said they were out of ground turkey, then that I’d said no substitutions, so they’d done no substitute. Then on the next line, it said they were out of their store brand brown rice, and that I’d commented “okay to substitute brand/size, but no instant rice,” and so they’d substituted such-and-such a brand. It’s GREAT, because first of all it’s like getting a Grocery Shopping Report, which is fun, but also it draws my attention to what I’ll need to put right back on my shopping list, or what I might need to adjust for when I’m thinking about meals.
I’d been interested to see if they’d contact me ahead of time about substitutions, and it turns out they sent an email about 45 minutes before my pick-up time (I hadn’t checked email so I hadn’t seen it), warning me about the substitutions they’d made and telling me to call if I didn’t want those items. But they mentioned I couldn’t choose a new substitute at this point: I could only decline the ones they’d chosen. (This seems fair to me, since I have that little comment field to say ahead of time what my feelings are about substitutions for each individual item.)
As many of you mentioned, all the frozen stuff was packed together and had been hanging out in a freezer waiting for me, so I didn’t have to worry about it.
The total bill ended up being about what I usually pay. Some things were more expensive, but others were less expensive, in a way that looks like it averages out and I am not going to worry about it. THIS IS JUST HOW IT IS IN A PANDEMIC.
I feel a little HIGH over the success of the trip, and first talked Paul’s ear off for awhile, then Rob’s, and now yours. Now that I’ve done it once, I definitely feel able to keep doing this—and I’m glad I tried it before I was at the point where I felt like I HAD to. But now that I’ve tried it, I think I’m going to just keep doing it this way. I do think, for those of us who can access this, that it’s time.
I’m so glad it worked out!! I feel similarly about the surprise aspect & the checking-what-came aspect. It’s a little moment of fun/joy in a weird time.
After seven (!!!!) months of grocery delivery I’ve landed on the store that has the best produce, because I am picky about it and not choosing my own was hard to let go of.
Anyway, hooray for a good experience!!
I have my first grocery delivery coming tomorrow. I went through the list carefully for substitutions because some of the suggestions were bizarre. If we are out of this particular brand and size of ketchup would you like thousand island dressing instead? It has me so much more nervous than I would have been otherwise.
Yay! Its such a good feeling to get through the first time of something!
I understand exactly how you feel about being taken care of by the employees. It does seem like such a thoughtful thing to carefully choose someone’s tomatoes and ice cream and rice (even though it is their job! they are being paid to do exactly this!). Kind of in a semi-similar category to nurses/housecleaners, where they are doing something very personal and/or intimate for you.
Also, I am very jealous of your receipt/report. I can look at my order list on my phone, but I can’t necessarily see what did and didn’t make it into the cart, so it’s not always easy to remember, “I didn’t get the tea I wanted last time, let’s make sure to order more.”
Hooray! I am so glad!
I think the big difference is that the stuff is in bags – just like groceries you pack yourself – *but* you did none of the normal physical stuff to get it to that point. Whereas with mail order, the way they pack it may be a surprise, but it’s an established “when I open the box, I have no idea whether they will have packed it decently or not, but the specific item I ordered will be in there” (I mean, generally).
It’s maybe almost like if someone did your laundry and folded it and left it on the couch (or wherever your folded laundry hangs out briefly before being put away; provided your laundry mostly gets folded before use instead of mostly not, as our pandemic practice has become…). If you left dirty laundry out on the porch in special bags and then got it back clean in special bags, it would likely feel Luxurious but it would not have quite the same home-y touch as being introduced to you at a point which is familiar to you – but without you having done any of the work.
This is theorizing, but mostly I am happy it felt heartwarming and that you got your ice cream and your frozen stuff was frozen just fine. Anyway. I’m so glad that it worked out!
Also, yes, if the day before, they are listed as out of something online, they are probably actually out of it if the grocery people also cannot find it, so that is a good time for “what is there instead’ or “what can I make instead” if they allow additions to your order at that point? When I was a child, my mother used to call grocery stores occasionally to find out when their restock days/times were (both to get the Super Sales and not have them be out of stock and for produce things that really needed to be *just* off the truck instead of having sat for a day or two – like when making preserves), and that would also be an option, I guess, and then you could target your pickup orders for Shortly After The Restock on the most important-to-you items?
Progress in learning things and becoming more comfortable with them! Hooray!
I use my drive-up up option for the majority of my groceries, then use a grocery delivery service for whatever I couldn’t get from the drive-up option. I like it so much, though this week I ran into shortages of meat, too.
Thank you so much for this report!!!
Before the pandemic, I did curbside pick up several times and tried Shipt. Both annoyed me to the point where I stopped doing them. I generally like grocery shopping (it’s the putting the stuff away that I don’t like) but I’ve also discovered that I liked shopping better when we lived 5 minutes from a really nice grocery store. I don’t mean nice as in Whole Foods-like. It’s a nice version of our local big chain. The ambiance is nice and the amenities are good. The closest local big chain store is not so nice.
But! I have been re-thinking things. The local big chain re-did their curbside pick up and now all of their stores have it. I have decided to try curbside again. I have to admit that I like driving up and having someone load all the groceries and then driving away. I can use the grocery shopping time for something else. I’m hoping it goes well and I can take grocery shopping off my plate.
I’m glad this went well!
I’m someone who discovered options-other-than-grocery-shopping-in-person as a result of the pandemic and honestly I’m not sure I’ll ever go back. I’m delighted to have groceries show up at my house without having to set foot in a store, and the occasional dissatisfaction at getting something that’s not a good substitution, or not getting something at all, does not annoy me enough to be a meaningful counterbalance to that. My husband (who does most of the cooking and in non-pandemic shops much like a European city dweller, i.e., “What do I want to cook tonight?” and heads out to 3 different stores to buy stuff for … today only (even though unlike the imagined European counterpart what he buys is often packaged, not fresh)) is eager to be able to get back into shopping. Definitely not happening anytime soon, though.
I laughed out loud at your excellent description that also applies to my husband. He does almost all the cooking; normally he decides at some point in the afternoon what strikes his fancy, then makes the 2-mile-round-trip to the grocery for ingredients. And rarely does the thought enter his head, “hey, since I’m already here, why not pick up the other things we would need for another meal? Or perhaps some cans of soup, in case of illness?” in the Before Times, it was not my concern how he wanted to waste, ahem, spend his time with multiple outings. However, now? In a pandemic with germ-riddled people at the grocery store? I don’t love it. I’m trying to help him plan so we can whittle down the trips, but my goodness he’s hard to break.
I’m glad you had a generally good experience! I had done grocery pick up before the pandemic, so thankfully it was already familiar to me when the pandemic closed everything, and I was suddenly a solo parent to three small children. I was completely unwilling to drag all three into any stores. When I couldn’t get raw meat for a few weeks in a row, I signed up for a meal kit delivery box once a week. It solved the protein problem for me without having to go into the grocery store and simultaneously taught me some new (to me) cooking skills. I no longer get the meal kit delivery, but still have a local business deliver a basket of produce each week. It’s been a good challenge to use up all of the different fruits and vegetables before the next basket arrives! And the vegetables and fruits have changed seasonally, which is fun, too.
Pre-pandemic, I did maybe half our grocery shopping through curbside. It is so convenient (even though for me it is at my less preferred grocery store). In before times, the store charged $4.95 which seems like a deal to me. However, this store has not charged any fee for curbside since March (when I would be willing to pay way more than the $4.95 normal fee)! It has been great.
In general, there are errors maybe every other shipping trip but most of the time the errors have been in my favor. In the one instance where I was charged for quite a bit but didn’t receive it, the store more than refunded the difference (after I made the dreaded phone call). It is all so convenient I can’t imagine to going back entirely to normal shopping.
I am glad it was a good experience and, as I’ll have to use it sometime between December 11th 24th, I may have been inspired to try it myself soon.
Now I’m wondering though, what items should I get that are perishable but freezable ahead of time? Like I definitely need 2 loaves of Italian bread for a couple of recipes I’m doing over the holidays, and had expected to get them in a pickup order sometime just before the 24th so they’d be fresh, but now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t risk them being out and I should get them sooner, like even before the 11th and put them in the freezer so I’ll be guaranteed to have them on hand when I need them. Ditto a small turkey. But can I spare the freezer room if I’ll need to have food for at least 2 weeks leading up to Christmas, and I have plans for a couple of fun frozen finger food meals? Maybe I should concentrate on getting the last of the “summer” foods used up from the freezer over the next two weeks to make room for the “holiday” foods? (I’m looking at you frozen watermelon chunks.)
Augh! I’m looking online to add stuff to a cart at my local grocery store and they don’t give ingredients for the stuff I want to try that I haven’t had before! I need to know allergy information for my household!
Our grocery store order ahead and pick up service is really fun because you shop along with the shopper. You get a text that says, “Asha has started shopping for you”. Then as she makes substitutions, you are updated by text and can accept or reject her choices. You can also text her back to ask if there is any ground chicken to replace the ground turkey and she will take a look for you. If there is a substitution needed and you don’t know the options, the shopper will take a picture and send it to you so you can see your choices. The interaction with the shopper also means I can thank her profusely and tip her. I love this new way of shopping even if I pay a little premium. It is totally worth it to me. I am happy your shopping experience was good. It is so nice to have options right now.
I always like it when I’m doing a new thing and there’s people ahead of me unknowingly demonstrating it. Target recently stopped shipping cat food and litter so we have to do curbside at the pet store. It’s a lot like you described regarding the no wait and no eye contact, which is fine by me.
For food I’ve been doing curbside with a mom and pop and they usually slip in something we didn’t order like a cookie or some lemon yogurt or a coffee mug with the store’s logo on it. We joke that at the end of the pandemic we’re going to have hair down to our waists and a cupboard full of their mugs.
This article was strangely reassuring to me (in a YES!, I’ve been doing all these things way)
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/19/well/live/thanksgiving-grocery-shopping-supermarket-safety.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage
Oooh, this was fun! I haven’t done curbside but I have done Instacart. Let me tell you the best part of that – the shopper will message you in the app as they are shopping so you can do on-the-fly substitutions! (You can tell them subs for low stock items ahead of time but sometimes they just can’t find something.) I’ve gotten photos of my choices to pick from and I’ve also been asked if I want to add any last minute things directly from the shopper long past the time you can add in the app. Maybe it’s because I tip really well, but all of my experiences with it have been awesome.
I love grocery pickup for this. I still sometimes have to go to a different store myself for things the pickup place either messed up or was out of, but I’m in the store for a LOT less time, which is a big win and a nice reduction in stress.
I now love curbside but plan to do a hybrid in the long run when thing are back to normal: (1) order the staples, dry goods, and bulky items for curbside (2) collect those items (3) walk into the store to select my own produce/meat and some impulse/luxury items and/or items in need of substitutions.
The combination of these will mean that I will spend less time in the store, spend that time on the more enjoyable/beneficial in-store tasks, and also spend less effort tetrising my groceries for a larger-than-usual family into a cart, through checkout, into bags, and back into the cart.
This is brilliant, and I am embarrassed that I didn’t think of the fact that you could collect your curbside stuff AND THEN GO IN FOR THE LAST FEW THINGS.
You might even get to go through the 12-or-fewer-items line!
This is actually my daughter’s job-and I will share this post with her. She really cares about getting what the customer wants, and it stresses her out when she can’t do that! This is a very difficult job, they have to try and fill the order, and lift heavy tubs, and then bring them out to the parking lot. She lives where winter goes to -60, so that is pretty intense. Also, when they are filling the order-they have in store customers asking for help. These workers are trying very hard to do the best they can with what is available to them. I’m so glad you had a good experience!
We love your daughter! I mean, not personally, because we do not live where winter gets to -60, but seriously, I so wish we could send thank-you notes to our shoppers – but no, we do delivery, so we can tip the delivery person, but from a random note on a bag [basically a “this is a cart I’m collecting, but I have to hit the bathroom, please don’t put back any items, thanks” note] once combined with the name of our delivery person, we know they’re not the same one. I also appreciate the delivery person, but not *nearly* as much as I appreciate the person grabbing cans of things and digging through the international foods section for us and all that. Is there any way that you know of for thanking the pickers?
Note to the manager, I would think. Possibly including details from your receipt so that they trace it back to the individual?
I was JUST thinking about the whole “it’s okay to be new at things” at work this morning – there is cataloging stuff I’m still learning, and I always feel embarrassed that I don’t know it already, because I’m fifty years old, which is stupid, because I’m relatively new at the job and HAVE NOT DONE THIS BEFORE.
I’m still going into the grocery store and I’m satisfied with the safety measures in place. I think I’m too much of a control freak to let someone else pick my groceries – we are a picky family and substitutions wouldn’t work in a lot of instances, and the errors would stress me out. But I’m really glad it works well for so many people. We were told early on in lockdown not to use it if we could avoid it to leave the spaces for the elderly and immunocompromised, and by the time it was more available I”d already gotten used to the new grocery shopping routine.