How To Stop Paying the Housecleaners

We have been paying our housecleaners not to clean for over six months now, and I feel it’s time to stop. I feel it’s gone from “This Is The Right Thing To Do” to “We’re Making It Weird.” The last time we talked, they said they were back to their full cleaning schedule, so it’s no longer an issue of supporting them during a time when everyone is canceling. I kept sending checks because I thought at any moment we would say “Yes, come back again!,” and I wanted it to be seamless and easy, and I wanted to hold our cleaning time. But now it looks like that isn’t going to happen anytime soon, and so I want to change plans, but I don’t know how to STOP. What do I SAY? I can do it via a piece of paper included with a last check, so it’s not like I have to make a phone call, and that helps. But each time I sit down to write it, I get stuck.

Also there is a bit of a language issue. Last December, on the last time they came to clean before Christmas, I put out their usual check, but also put cash in an envelope for each of them. They never cashed the check, so my fear was that the check was lost/misplaced and they thought the cash was the payment—which would mean it would look like I gave them a seriously skimpy holiday bonus. I made several attempts but was unable to explain this; she kept saying they HAD been paid, and wouldn’t cash the replacement check I sent, and it never got straightened out and I had to give up. I still feel some level of agony over it.

So I need something (1) very simple and clear (2) that I can write on a piece of paper (3) and send with the final check. I want it too to be something that lets me comfortably employ them again after the pandemic is over.

23 thoughts on “How To Stop Paying the Housecleaners

    1. Alyson

      I was going to say this! Or ask us (I speak solamente ingles, but someone on here is likely to know the language you need and be able to help). We are sure they are literate in their native language, yes? I know growing up in a primarily hispanic area, the literacy rates for immigrants were a mixed bag – schooling not necessarily being mandatory or affordable/free in the country of origin AND things like war, and fleeing same often take precedence over education. Being able to read isn’t super useful if you’re dead or imprisoned.

      As for the why, and the come back:
      There are too many people home all the time for someone to come in and clean – though we miss it so! We will be in touch when that is no longer the case – send thoughts for that to be soon, please.

      Is the tone, not necessarily the correct wording I would attempt to convey.

      Reply
  1. Sarah

    You could just say that due to health issues in your home, you are going to stop having housecleaning service for a while, but will contact them when you are ready to have it again.

    Reply
  2. Kristin H

    I would just keep it simple. “Thank you for your housecleaning services over the years. We won’t be needing your services any longer but hope to have you back once the pandemic is over. Sincerely, Swistle.” Then run it through google translate and then back to English again to make sure the point is not lost in translation.

    Reply
  3. Suzanne

    This is so hard. I did this, via phone (after writing out a script that I hoped a) conveyed my deep regret and b) expressed how great she was, and how this wasn’t her fault, and c) made clear that we — kid in school, husband around sick people all the time — did not want to get HER sick), and it was MUCH easier than I anticipated and I felt a LOT of relief after it was done (because, as you said, it was getting weird), and my beloved housecleaner seemed truly sincere when she said to call her anytime if I needed her again. I still feel SO SAD about it, though.

    What about something like this (possibly too wordy/complicated)?
    Thank you so much for your all your work and for holding a spot for us all these months. We do not see the Covid19 situation improving, and therefore will not need housecleaning services in the foreseeable future. Here is a check to cover you through DATE. We hope that we will be able to have you back sometime soon.

    Reply
    1. Tina G

      I like what Suzanne suggested. It’s direct, yet thoughful. Most of the articles I’ve read about this same topic have been written by people with sufficient wealth and for them to continue paying doesn’t really make a dent in their wallet plus they may be responsible for paying taxes and deductions for these employees as well. For more normal households, I could see this becoming a financial burden in the longhaul, and we’ve certainly reached the longhaul milestone. Since they are back in full swing this is the time to make the break in good conscience.

      Reply
    2. Mary

      This is good, it’s exactly what I’d say. It explains why you’ve continued to send the check (hold our place) and why you won’t be sending any more.

      Reply
  4. Anne

    Great options above.

    ANY chance you might decide that if they came on a Saturday you could all vacate the house for a family walk (or something) and they COULD clean? I know that would probably be harder to explain than your first idea, but now it seems possible that the language could be resolved, this might be the chance to get the true deep cleaning that simply cannot be done by you (and your varyingly reluctant helpers) alone.

    Reply
  5. Shawna

    I know you can’t say that you have health concerns or worry about getting them sick since you’ve been paying them but they haven’t actually been coming and cleaning all this time. Perhaps it should be more along the lines of pretending you were paying them to reserve time for your cleaning, even though they likely just went ahead and cleaned someone else’s house during the time they would have been cleaning yours?

    “Thanks so much for holding a spot for us during these difficult times, and for your excellent cleaning services prior to the pandemic, but since it is uncertain when we will be able to have you come back into our home we have decided to release our spot for the time being. We’ll be sure to give you a call and reinstate our service if you have room for us once it’s safe to have you back.”

    Reply
  6. R

    What I sent, under similar circumstances:

    I’m so sorry, but we are going to have to stop our monthly payments. Thank you so much for everything you have done for us. We hope someday we can call and ask to get back on your schedule.
    We wish you the best!

    Reply
  7. JenniferB

    I think that the gist of the above suggestions would work fine. Just to offer an alternative, is this a company where they only do specific types of cleaning or is it individually owned a somewhat flexible task-wise? Our cleaner has been with us for 19 years, I know his wife, and I’ve watched his children grow up. His business has not recovered significantly, so I definitely feel obligated. He’s been super grateful and texts me at the beginning of each week to check in for assignments and schedule a time that works around the times we might be outside. I’m continuing to pay him, but I’ve shifted him to other tasks:
    -cleaning our patio furniture to thwart the spiders who keep laying eggs under and between
    -sweeping our porches
    -cleaning our grill
    -pressure washing various surfaces and objects
    -washing out our trash bins with our hose

    You’ve mentioned loathing snow shoveling; might this be a task for your cleaning crew? I’m thinking I’ll ask my guy to trade out my gas cylinders for grill & patio heater if there’s a location he’ll be going to anyway for a personal errand. I know he would wash our cars if I asked, but it will soon be too chilly for that. He’s cleaned the outside of lower windows, exterior light fixtures, and my porch ceiling fan. I don’t want him to climb tall ladders or do otherwise risky tasks, but I’m going to keep generating outdoor tasks as long as I can imagine them.

    Reply
      1. Karen L

        A lot of great cancellation wording suggestions and I think this might be a path worth pursuing also. I’m only wondering whether these ad hoc jobs might become difficult to communicate given the language barrier. But in addition to the exterior work listed above, you could maybe consider adding “take-home” work like laundry and mending and/or semi-exterior work like garage- or barn-cleaning.

        Reply
  8. Alice

    I think I read an article at the New York Times or somewhere like that where someone asked a similar question, minus the language barrier.

    If I’m remembering correctly, the advice was to basically give notice: to say that you no longer wanted cleaning services and that you were going to pay out the next month’s worth of whatever you’d been paying them.

    I’d include it as a piece of paper with the check you’re planning to send and to say something like, “Thank you for cleaning our home over the years. We’ve reached a point at which we won’t need a house cleaner for the forseeable future, so we’re discontinuing as of (insert the date you choose). Thank you for everything you’ve done, and we’ll be sure to recommend you highly!”

    Reply
  9. Angela

    So a couple things:
    1) people cancel services all the time. It’s part of the deal. So you’re not a terrible person for doing this.

    2) they are already not coming to your house. If for some reason the checks stop coming, they will just…continue to not come to your house (and be able to take on another client in that spot, if they haven’t already). It feels like more than that but it’s not, really.

    3) like others have said, I think a short and simple note in with your last check is sufficient. “We have loved having you clean for us but have decided to cancel this service for now because of the ongoing pandemic. I have enclosed a final check for this month’s bill. Thanks again and hope to see you again when this is all over. Best, Swistle.”

    You can do it!

    Reply
  10. Jd

    Less is more. Say you are going to cancel their services for the time being, this is the last check, good thank you, end with that you may call them in the future. No excuses.
    The fact you (kindly, thoughtfully, rightly) paid for 6 months is what will bring them back if you want to resume later, not the note. The note just needs to convey this is the last check so tHey don’t look for it next month) and with language/possible literacy challenges you want to make this simple.
    One other thing is you might want to round the check up to a higher even number. This way the check is different and will highlight that something is changing. Think of I t as the missed holiday bonus.

    Reply
  11. Carrie

    As someone living overseas in a country where I don’t speak the language, I recommend using as few words as possible to convey your message. I know it may make you feel like you are talking down to them, but it is really helpful as a non-native speaker. My language skills in this country are at a kindergarten level (and that is probably being generous – haha) and the worst thing is when someone talks to me in long detailed sentences. I need simple and direct words in order to understand. I know you want to convey a deeper level of emotion than that, but if you have been kind to your cleaners over the years (which I know you have), trust that they will understand the sentiment without having to translate a bunch of big words.

    Reply
    1. Kalendi

      Yes this! I tutor basic English ESL, and if I use simple words and sentences they usually get it. Google translate also works better with simplicity.

      Reply

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