A boy I was briefly involved with in high school sent me a message at 1:30 this morning saying he misses me, with a little heart emoji, so I have reached that pandemic milestone.
I was talking to Paul about how I was actually feeling kind of excited about Christmas. I know it’s early for that. The reason it’s noteable is that this is going to be our first Christmas not going to my parents’ house, and I thought that might Ruin Christmas, but we’ve come up with some alternate plans that sound fun to me: my family always celebrates on Christmas Eve night, and Paul’s family always celebrated on Christmas Day afternoon, so we’re going to take this opportunity to do a Classic Christmas Morning celebration, and I’m actually looking forward to it. Pajamas! Coffee! A hearty proteiny make-ahead breakfast casserole, perhaps, to be eaten after having too much early-morning chocolate?? I may need to ask for advice/instructions, and that will be fun too! Also, I was thinking this might be a big year for Christmas cards, which I would enjoy; and maybe a big year for mailing happy holiday boxes and leaving cookie plates hanging from doorknobs and so forth. It could be pretty neat!
Paul seemed less than enthusiastic about my enthusiasm, which puzzled me, until he said “I think your feelings about Christmas are going to be very dependent on the results of the election and what happens afterward,” and I realized he is right, though perhaps we all would have been happier if he’d kept his rightness to himself awhile longer. I am wondering if it might be wise to do some shopping ahead of time. It might be a way to deal with this terrible restless time before the election. And I am remembering that after the 2016 election, I couldn’t decorate the tree. On the other hand, that ended up being okay and even Better Than Okay: I told the children we were going to decorate it with handmade ornaments only, and they were old enough to get started on that themselves while I languished miserably on a recliner, and that ended up being a very satisfying idea. So perhaps we can count on our coping mechanisms to carry us through.
I’ve been thinking about Christmas already too. I just bought a couple presents recently, so I feel like I’m on top of things! I was actually looking forward to Christmas (we usually alternate years spending either Christmas eve or Christmas day with family, and I was looking forward to just staying home and relaxing), but my dad died last week and I dont want to leave my mom all alone. So I’m not sure what we’ll do. :(
Good point about the election, that will probably have a huge effect on how I’m feeling.
Thinking of you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Liz. ❤❤
We did not put up a tree at all last year because of the kitchen remodel and drywall dust situation. I told J that I want a second one this year to compensate.
I have hung ALL my hopes upon Christmas as well! Which is odd because I literally just opted out of all the other 2020 holidays (mothers/fathers day, easter, my birthday). Please, please, please let things be better or at least not worse by Christmas! Please.
We did Christmas in July this year. That’s how badly I need the joy that holidays bring. It ended up being a wreck; we have a newborn and my son was having trouble adjusting (you know, on top of his life being upended) and I thought a celebration would help? Lol no.
But I’m still excited about Christmas. We have a few traditions and I would love to hear about others as well. I’m always looking to add more.
Santa leaves books under my son’s pillow every day in December. This year we’ll need 48 books…it takes some preplanning. We also start cookie baking in October and freeze the dough. I love the homemade ornament only idea. I’ll store that away for when I’m not in baby survival mode.
This year we’ll be spending the night by the Christmas tree on its first night. We’ll also be finding a place to donate food/a meal.
As you can probably tell, I use the holidays as a major distraction from doing things like reading the news obsessively. I’m so worried about the election. I live in a conservative area in a swing state and while I haven’t seen as many Trump signs this go round, it’s still early.
When we did a book a day in December I went to Half Price books and in the kids section down in a corner of the picture book section there was a pile of paperback christmas books. I hope you have a used bookstore!
If you wanted to amend your books under the pillow concept – not that I’m saying you should, it sounds awesome! But in case 48 is too many – we do a book advent calendar each year in my house. I wrap up 24 Christmas children’s stories every year, and label them, and we open one each evening before bed, always ending with The Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve. It’s one of my absolute fave traditions now.
I am so excited about christmas! Even the thought of fall has made me happy. I bought scented candles and scented soaps and it was thrilling. I’m even thinking of decorating my house for fall (I never decorate) but I feel like my house should be clean first? And my house has never been clean so what are the odds?
I have been the opposite about Christmas – just blatantly ignoring the fact that holidays are coming. But maybe I should really lean in to it instead?
Yeah, same. I don’t want to think about having to decorate the house, when it’s already too small with my husband and 3 kids all working/schooling here. Last thing I need is a tree taking up more space!
Time is so weird right now. Normally this is the first weekend of college football and after a long boring summer I am DYING to get to a game. This year, my team doesn’t start until next week and fans aren’t allowed and it doesn’t seem like it’s time to start.
I hadn’t thought about Christmas yet, but it did make me think that maybe I should put up my stuff before the election. Would that make me feel better or worse?
What I have thought a lot about is the election. I had a tradition of ordering pizza and had champaign on hand for a win and vodka for a loss. That worked out well in 2008 and 2012. It did not work out well in 2016 when I was too depressed to drink the vodka and drugged myself up to sleep ;) And hell, we won’t even know who won on election night probably.
Jenny, I feel you on football this year. The Big Ten is not playing! Woe.
I am sort of excited for Christmas because I feel like I will really get to enjoy my decorations, bring home all the time!! Usually we are go-go-go and I don’t feel like I get to really soak in my home Christmas set up.
Same!
I’ve also been thinking about Christmas. And thinking I should start buying gifts – particularly since I’m not actually IN the stores to see something random that *would be perfect for so and so.*
Most of our Christmases have been the traditional Christmas morning – so ask away. But we are also far away from family – so usually quiet even in The Before. But we usually will see friends who are also far away from family on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
I can’t bear to think of the election right now. I’m just crossing my fingers that I wake up the day after not bitterly disappointed.
I’m kind of ignoring the idea of Christmas still, tbh. We didn’t go home to my family last year, we hosted my American in-laws instead. And it was SO lovely. But then the pandemic hit and more recently my area was hit by localised restrictions. I haven’t been back to my parents’ house in over a year now. Which is mad because while it’s far in UK terms (5 hours drive) it’s nothing really, but having a small baby who hated the car and then The Germs 🦠 as my daughter calls them threw a spanner in the works.
So I just don’t know what will be allowed? And what would be responsible. But the idea of not going home this year makes me Very Sad.
We usually alternate years between traveling to my family and traveling to my husband’s (we have to fly to different states from where we live). This year, there will be no flying for obvious reasons, and so this will be the first year that my kids spend it in our house. Which might be good? But also sort of lonely and sad? So I’m also trying to figure out how to make the best of it. And to be honest, right now I’m most looking forward to the cheesy potato casserole we have every Christmas morning. And this year, I won’t have to share it with so many people! More for me! There are a million recipes for this type of casserole, but here is one for anyone else that wants to start thinking about delicious, comfort food (I sub cream of potato soup for the cream of chicken, since we’re vegetarian): https://www.thecountrycook.net/funeral-potatoes/
Things that can help:
1. music, Christmas or not (I’d endorse a mix)
2. a couple of presents that are immediately and physically playable/shareable (I’m talking low-tech things like slinkies or sticky-hands-on-a-string or any sort of ridiculous immediate interactive thing like ping-pong-ball crossbows). Also, if you have a kid who will disappear into their book as soon as they open the book, give it slightly later in the day. (I was that kid. *I* enjoyed it, mind you, but I didn’t exactly contribute to exuberant festivity, if exuberant festivity is what’s wanted)
3. having a few activities, optional, in your back pocket so you know you have them to pull out if you do feel like the mood needs assistance. Feeling a bit lonely? Time to pack up some cookies or a box of tea or something and drop on doorsteps of people who feel lonely! (bonus points for including notes from whoever is willing to write notes, *but* people will appreciate being thought of even without notes) Feeling pensive and want to lean into it? Christmas movies have you covered! Remember the existence of board games! Have enough scissors for everyone to make paper snowflakes at the same time and make them silly! Make cookies/fudge/clove-covered-oranges/whatever!
4. cooperatively doing things you would normally do yourself when the kids are asleep/occupied even though (or because!) it takes twice as long that way. Assembling the new bike! Making the cinnamon rolls! Whatever! Just remember that there is *no* hurry, that it is *totally* okay to screw a lot of things up, and that almost anything can be fixed or done over. (note: introverts do need alone time; if you are an introvert, then depute the kid-herding sometimes [activity will not look like Martha Stewart came within 4 miles of it; this is 100% okay], or have some activities where everyone goes away to prepare [word games! turning Christmas carols into rebuses! charades! making up a dance to a song! writing out a script for a puppet show!]; do not deprive yourself of all the alone time)
5. if you’ve got the spare space and kids are all above puzzle-eating years, have a puzzle out, set up, to work on over Christmas Eve and Christmas day; it is something that people can congregate around or that just one person can be working on or that can quietly sit there and not be done if it’s not needed.
Also, at any holiday, some kid will be wishing it was quieter and some kid will be wishing it was busier, and at every holiday, there is some “letdown” point or another, and this is normal and totally okay and Not Your Fault At All. You don’t have to make things Perfect for everyone or even A Really Great Christmas for everyone; you just have to love them and try to communicate that love in a way they can hear the best you can. :-)
And thank you for the casserole; that looks sooooo good.
This was lovely and helpful.
Your next-to-last paragraph is perfection! And all the preceding tips are also on point.
Thank you! All of these ideas and suggestions have cheered me!
Swistle, can we have a post about ideas for pandemic hokiday celebrations? For example, i have a toddler and would love to know how others are approaching a socially distant halloween (dressing up at home? Trick or treating for baby food pouches in the bedrooms? ) Or any of the fall/early winter festivities.
I haven’t thought much about Christmas, but it will probably feel pretty normal for us- we live far from family anyway, and don’t travel for the holidays anymore. Still. There could be a nasty orange damper on the festivities. I am trying to decide if we should have a family meeting BEFORE or AFTER the election to decide whether to leave the country. Having the plan would be comforting, I think? Fortunately we have work or family connections in three different countries, but unfortunately all three of them are bad choices for different reasons. Even assuming we could leave this virus-infested shell of a representative democracy… ok that got dark, sorry. The good news is I already have some stocking stuffers!
OMG. Make this. You don’t even have to wait until Christmas. So simple, SO good.
https://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-sausage-and-greens-breakfast-casserole-243967
I LOVE THIS IDEA!!!!
*that is all*
<3
In July-I was thinking about Christmas quite a bit-I almost broke out the Christmas music, I probably just needed a pick me up.
I’m thinking about this election and if it goes badly for my political beliefs-it won’t be as horrific as 2016. I was absolutely blindsided, and I’ve never taken to my bed-but I was very tempted. Now I don’t have the rose colored glasses I somehow maintained for 56 years, and coming close to my 60th birthday, I don’t think I will be surprised by anything. I’m hoping for the best though…
I think once the weather turns, *I* will turn toward Christmas. Or maybe I will wait until after Halloween (but will there really BE a Halloween this year??).
I bought a house in mid-December last year, 2 weeks (I think) before we left for my aunt and uncle’s house for Christmas. We didn’t, therefore, decorate at home.
Maybe this year we will decorate ASAP.
Oh, I love your idea of looking forward to Christmas now! Also, a “traditional” (at least in my family tradition which isn’t others) is so much fun. Some things we do. Wake up to see what Santa brought first. For older kids, maybe just what’s in the stockings. Santa/stocking gifts are always unwrapped and usually include some surprises. Our parents are quite practical so often wrapped gifts from family members are things from a list each of us provided of wants. Santa and stockings include some of that stuff as well but other things we didn’t necessarily ask for. I feel like you are a great surprise gift giver!
Anyway, at that point is when the breakfast casserole goes in the oven to cook. We have mimosas, eat candy and just play with the Santa/stocking stuff then. Once the casserole is finished, we eat breakfast and then open wrapped gifts under the tree. If you don’t have little ones (which you don’t), this can be at a nice leisurely pace where everyone is taking turns and has time to admire/comment on what others are opening. It can make the opening of Christmas gifts last for a while. I personally love this because it spreads the joy out instead of everyone rushing and all presents open first thing and then…
“though perhaps we all would have been happier if he’d kept his rightness to himself awhile longer”, frequently so so true! I guess I was looking forward to tempering my post-election exuberance/superiority around the losers. I love these emotional-planning-ahead posts, so useful as I think the same way – I do better if I am prepared for a possible let-down.
Pleased to find this post this morning. My parents asked me for a Christmas list for the kids already and I had just no idea. We are house hunting, and I had hoped to move before Christmas, because like someone else said our house is so small. Really we only have room for a small 3 foot tree which is next to our “home office” in our living room (which also triples as the playroom), and I would love to have an exciting big Christmas in a new, bigger house. But considering it’s already Sept and we have no houses on the list, I don’t think that will happen.
I quit both Twitter and Facebook in advance of the election. I just couldn’t take the ads on Facebook and the political content anymore. I sent my kids back to in-person school after MUCH agonizing and the content on Twitter condemning this choice (not for me personally, but in general) was giving me anxiety I didn’t need.
Oof. I have hesitated to make any plans / allow myself to look forward to anything at all because I’m worried that November will go poorly and I will need all of my energy focused solely on not spiraling into a pit of despair. I also have been fretting about Halloween because my newly-4-yr-old has not stopped talking about LAST year’s Halloween yet (YOU WALK AROUND IN A COSTUME AND EVERYONE GIVES YOU CANDY!?!!! THIS IS AMAZING!) so I’m preemptively devastated that it may not happen for her this year. Christmas is too much for me to think about and/or handle yet. Maybe once fall weather kicks in…
Same on both counts. I’m unable to relax/plan for anything that will happen after the election because I’m honestly worried that we’re going to put the final nail in the coffin here and I won’t be able to muster any Christmas spirit. Youngest is so jazzed about Halloween this year and I don’t have it in me to tell her it might not happen because the poor kids have already been through the wringer since March.
“I realized he is right, though perhaps we all would have been happier if he’d kept his rightness to himself awhile longer.” *snort*
I’m kind of bummed about Christmas. I mean, things change so fast who knows what the situation is going to be like this year, but I’m not anticipating being able to keep to our normal routine of my Dad’s Xmas Eve, then my own family opening gifts at home followed by a long, leisurely day of eating and cooking and gift opening at my Mom’s Xmas Day. I think the best we can hope for is a quick masked visit at each place to exchange gifts – no eating because that would mean taking off our masks.
We’ll see. Our infection rate here is pretty low, and my Mom isn’t too fussed about mask wearing in her house as long as people don’t get too close and she loves to feed people, but my husband is super-careful.