Elizabeth had her virtual scoliosis appointment this morning, and we were both very stiff and jumpy about it ahead of time (this was our first online medical appointment, and we didn’t know what to expect), and it went totally fine (though awkward) and was SO VERY MUCH BETTER than spending half the day driving to and from the big city and waiting in waiting rooms. And the doctor says she can stop wearing her brace! Which is very exciting! She is 15 years old, just under 5’9″ tall, and it is likely she is done growing. She is going to be shorter than ALL of her brothers (Rob is 6’1″, William is 6’4″, Edward is 6″ so far at 15 years old, and Henry is 5’7″ at only 13) (did you start reading this blog when I was pregnant with Henry, and now he is taller than you? isn’t everything so weird?), and she is already mad about it. She is slightly taller than me, at least. I will be shortest in my household, apparently, and at 5’8″ish I am not a short woman.
Her doctor, incidentally, is like a neverending stream of those cringy “When I was a doctor-in-training I said [this thing that sounded totally awkward but wasn’t at all what I meant, such as “Your breasts look beautiful”] and that’s when I learned to say [the highly preferable neutral thing, such as “Everything looks normal”].” Elizabeth and I agree he doesn’t give off actual creepy vibes, and he seems genuinely oblivious as he says things that make us wince. Today’s new hit was “Your curves look beautiful”—meaning that the two curves of her spine showed good improvement.
Our polydactyl cat is still not doing particularly well, even after two weeks (nearly halfway through a month-long prescription) of antibiotics. He is still barely eating or drinking; he is still bony and scrawny. I called the vet a week ago to ask about the subcutaneous fluids she mentioned, and she had me come in and they taught me how to do them. WARNING! The rest of this post will include some medical stuff involving needles and so forth. If you want to skip the rest of this post, this would be the moment. I will not write anything else in this post after the part about the cat’s medical treatments: you can just bail right now and you will miss nothing except feline medical stuff! Okay, I am going to proceed! I’m proceeding now with the descriptions! Last chance! Here we go!
Giving subcutaneous fluids involves making a “tent” of the cat’s stretchy skin in the shoulder area, and then putting a needle “into the tent,” and then the fluid goes from a bag down a tube and through the needle and under the skin, where it is gradually absorbed into the cat. I am so, so grateful that when the vet tech demonstrated the technique to me, she accidentally put the needle into the tent and then out through the side of the tent, so that the liquid just spilled out into his fur, because that showed me that even someone with MUCH more experience than me might do that; otherwise I might have given up by now, because I have made that same error repeatedly. Repeatedly. It makes me despair. I feel like I am NOT getting the hang of it, and there is no way to practice except by continuing to screw it up, and then working on learning how to fix it (theoretically you can just draw the needle back a bit, until it is no longer poking through the second layer of skin) (good for you, hanging in there like this, you are a real trouper).
I have watched YouTube videos and I understand the gist of what I am supposed to be doing; it’s just, now there’s nothing left except to practice, and it’s my poor cat who has to be practiced on. The videos and the vet tech and the vet all assured me that the cat doesn’t have many nerve endings in that area, and that’s why we do it there. And the vet and vet tech said the whole thing is trickier to manage correctly when the cat is dehydrated to begin with (the skin is tougher and the tent is less roomy). And he is very good and doesn’t show signs of pain, or of wanting to escape. More like depression, resignation, despair. The poor thing. It’s not enough to be sick, he also has to have incompetent medical care. Well. At least I feel as if I am gaining another life skill. Small comfort for the cat, I guess. “Wow, so happy for your journey or whatever.” Says the cat.
Your cat is so lucky to be in a loving family that will go out of its comfort zone to care for it! <3
I chuckled at “wow, so happy for your journey or whatever,” says the cat.
Thanks for that. Poor you. Poor cat. Both of you will get better.
Favorite: “Wow, so happy for your journey or whatever.” Says the cat.
Ha! I feel like every cat says that to me, judgmentally.
Yes. Henry is already taller than I am. (That can’t be right…..can it??)
I wanted to share my “genuinely oblivious but cringe worthy” story. I had a male boss who kept trying to explain the organization’s value by using an equation showing that the organizational value was impacted by the quantity and the quality of the product.
To jazz up a completely useless equation, V = Q + Q(squared) he kept referring to Value (a 4th grade reading level word at best) as “The Big V.” He then sent out emails about how to impact the Big V using verbs like “penetrate” and “satisfy” and rambling on about how the Big V needed both quantity and quality, but quality was really important. I thought maybe it was just me who thought this was insane until the whole office started giggling and reading parts out loud and snorting. I found out he was going to brief his female boss on this concept (what concept? What strategy? Uselessness) Anyway, I called multiple people on his staff to tell him to just say VALUE! Two syllables, clear meaning. The Big V, three syllables, likely to make people think of Vaginas. No one would tell him. He didn’t last long. Somehow his female boss was not impressed with his quality or quantity impacting her Big V.
omg
OK, but he didn’t listen to advice and got bounced.
I am so SO happy about this.
It wasn’t that he didn’t listen though, it said that no one would tell him. Which of course still leaves room to wonder if the reason why they wouldn’t is that he’s a “shoot the messenger” kind of guy, but we don’t know. He was left clueless to run into that particular knife, and I do feel a bit bad for him for that. Especially since his boss had no way of knowing that no one had pointed this issue him, so may well have assumed he knew, but was saying it like that on purpose.
But also, him not lasting long hints at other issues, so who knows. I’m probably overthinking this.
My daughter, at 27, is still not happy that she’s slightly shorter than me and insists on the extra half inch when she gives her height as 5’11and a half” – I think that she’s just waiting for me to officially tip over into the Shrinking Years! (The joy when my son got to 6’8″ and I could feel quite petite (I’m just over 6′) next to him was lovely!).
That’s amazing news about the brace, and I had to laugh at “her curves are beautiful.” Reminds me of old bosses who used to say things like “keep you abreast of the situation – wait, can I say breast?” and “we are going to open the kimono.” What. I am 5’7″ and the shortest in the house as well. I have been reading since Henry was a baby, so that’s crazy town banana pants.
Omg I just remembered a time when I was sitting in a meeting and a colleague (a man, I am the only woman 99% of the time) said in regards to a negotiation “Well, we’re not just going to lift our skirt for them” and I was so STUNNED I couldn’t even react in the moment, and now I’ve spent 2 years wishing I could have said something snappy in the shaming department. And whenever I read/see something like “Well, she couldn’t have minded too much, she didn’t even SAY anything” I remember that moment.
This turned a little dark, sorry about that.
My office still commonly uses the phrase open the kimono, or going full kimono, which means telling an outside person everything. Can’t they just say “tell them everything” instead of “open the kimono”? I thought they were crazy the first time I heard it.
The subcutaneous fluids will get easier on you. I did it for years for one of my husband’s cats. Worth is, even though I felt like an asshole cat-torturer every time.
Your cat (Elizabeth’s cat) will continue to be grateful for the extra digits, all of them used to flip you off in a bored way.
I laughed out loud at the cat using the extra digit to flip off Swistle in a bored way. Really, a cackle burst out of me. It was delightful; thank you.
I am 4’11”. My entire extended (and extensive) family is taller than me. I am the yardstick by which all children in the family are measured.
Wait. I lie. My 101-year-old grandmother is shorter than me now (osteoporosis will do that).
You have a family of giants and I’m deeply DEEPLY jealous. :D
Your poor cat! Poor you! But you write about it so well!
My aunt is also 4’11” and you are right! when you get taller than Aunt Meg you know you are getting up there!
My 16 year old is just now 6’5″, but I’m still taller than my other kids. We shall see how long it lasts. I suspect that if any other them end up shorter than me (just shy of 5’9″) they will be very disappointed.
I can’t believe your children are SO TALL. Really, nice work there. At 5’4″ I am the tallest woman on my mom’s side of the family (she is 5’2″ and maybe would have been taller had she not been a preemie in the 50s).
Yay for Elizabeth! My Tabitha is just 9 and was fitted last week for her 4th brace. Her curve is creeping up past her shoulder blades (why did I not know that was a possiblity?), so they are going to add a shoulder strap to the new brace. This was the first scoliosis appointment I could not attend (essential worker + only one parent allowed = one unhappy momma) so I am still anxious about this new development and all the questions I didn’t get to ask the PA/RN/NP that I wouldn’t have been able to think of during the appointment anyway. Ugh. AND I won’t be able to attend the next pick-up-the-brace/make-sure-it-fits appointment for the same reasons. AND google has zero results when i search for Boston Brace Shoulder Strap, but I keep getting weird articles about scoliosis braces are junk, do these exercises to correct scoliosis, blah, blah in my Facebook feed, so yeah. Very Very Happy for you and Elizabeth!
I don’t know if this is helpful, but this site has a picture of a Boston brace with straps
https://www.scoliosisassociates.com/treatments/bracing/
I actually came to the comments to say…poor cat indeed, but I think he tolerates it so well because he must know you’re trying to help him. Poor hairy baby.
Are you a Reddit person? If you are, may I recommend r/catculations?
holy cow all these giant children, both in your family and in the comments!! My mom is 5’0″ so I thought I was doing fantastically at 5’8″; I now find I am apparently shorter than most 15 year olds :D
My first ob/gyn when I moved down to VA at 21 was a completely lovely, very competent, but like 80 yr old dude. One of the best/worst comments I got from him was “your breasts feel great!!” – granted, it was during a breast exam, and he meant it specifically “…as someone who has been on birth control for as many years as you have” since apparently that often leads to lumps? i dunno. But. “Your breasts feel great” from an 80 yr old man kneading them. Heh.
I had to give my cat steroid injections in that same tent area for a couple years. I was super squeamish about it but my husband said he would gladly do it. Except I was the one available to get trained by the vet and then I was better at it… so I was the one to do it, sometimes daily. Ergh. But I got better at it and also more confident and while the cat didn’t like the injections, he didn’t hide from me or seem to resent me, and he was one to hold and display a grudge if one was to be had. They bought us more time with him and greatly increased his quality of life. Plus, I can inject cats now if there ever becomes a market for that skill in the absence of all other medical skills.
The fluids sound more complex and involved, but I trust that you will also get more competent and confident, and that your cat knows the fluids help him feel better. And semi-competent care at home is probably preferable to competent care at a vet’s office for the vast majority of cats.
So, Rob and William are in college so I kind of envision them as adults and their heights made sense to me. Apparently my mind had stopped aging the other three and I pictured them twin 7 year olds and a 5 year old (yes I realize their birth years are directly to the right of the text). I had to read Edward’s height. Pause. Read the sentence again. Pause. Look over at the birth years to the right. Do some careful math. Then I had to suppress the urge to lie down.
Surely that cannot be right. FIFTEEN? Edward and Elizabeth are FIFTEEN?
Also, sorry about the cat. When I dogsit for my parents I have to give insulin injections and (shudder).
I had the same thought process! I was fine with the oldest two being super-tall, but when I read that Edward is 6 feet tall? Sorry, that’s not possible — in my head he’s like 9, tops.
(did you start reading this blog when I was pregnant with Henry, and now he is taller than you? isn’t everything so weird?)
YES. YES TO ALL OF THIS. Also, I am realizing that I started reading this blog when I was in college. I remember reading about Henry’s birth in my dorm room. And now THOSE VERY CHILDREN are in college, my word.
How is Edward? <3
He seems to be healing up well! I am still fretful, but getting a little less fretful as time goes on without him saying the area is starting to hurt again or whatever.
Well! Somehow I never pictured your family as tall people – no particular reason. But I never expected your children to be tall because…well, they are children. All of you tower over me as I’m about 5 feet; maybe 5’1 on a good day (depends on my hair really). I recall going to a funeral when I was in my twenties and one of my uncles, that I hadn’t seen since I was a child, said, “Well, you haven’t grown since I last saw you.” *sigh*
“Wow, so happy for your journey or whatever.” Says the cat.” Had me on the floor!
Same! Intellectually I know the older two are in college and thus most likely “adult size,” but I still perceive the other three as “child size.” Now I have to completely revamp my mental picture of your entire family into a race of giants.
I wanted to share a few things about getting cats to eat-because it can be so hard! Things that have worked for me, but of course every cat is different! I really struggled with one of our most beloved cats, he was 19 and sick with a few different things, but still very perky. My goal that last year was to keep him fed and hydrated.
1. Baby food-our cats prefer chicken to the turkey.
2. Experiment with the new liquid treats for cats. Lobster Bisque? Whatever has some liquid in it-I would try to get my cat to partake.
3. Under the weird filing-I had made a ham sandwich and left it on the bed for a few minutes. I came back in to see that cat tearing apart my sandwich-gobbling down bread and ham. No idea why, but he did love me feeding him slices of ham. I guess what I’m trying to say-getting cats to eat and drink is really difficult, but it is so important. Let your imagination run wild!
For our underweight/sickly/IBS cat, our vet recommended Natural Balance cat food (we get the “very few ingredients” kind) and it’s been great, but stupid expensive. After he went to the Great Catnip Field In the Sky, we’ve kept our other cat on it because it supposedly helps prevent kidney problems? I don’t know…
Also, I have Tall People Envy. My 13yo is 5’8″ and still growing, my 15yo is 5’9″ and still growing, my husband is 6’1″ (not still growing), and I top out just under 5’5″ (I round up).