I have been feeling as if I shouldn’t write unless I was writing about what’s happening right now with the ongoing protests against racial injustice and police violence. And so I have been working instead on my summer project which, if you recall, is going through my old blog posts (I’ve finished 2008 and am now in 2009) and fixing all the links and photos that broke when I moved the blog from Blogspot to WordPress. It is tedious, satisfying, cringey work. How many times back then did I say “OMG”/”ZOMG”/”teh”/etc.? SO MANY. It is tempting to fix all that while I’m at it. But no: that all belonged to 2009, and 2009 can keep it. In another ten years I can look back and see what cringey things I’m saying all the time in 2020. (If you already know, don’t tell me: let’s keep it a fun surprise for later!)
And I DO think it was better to shut up for a few minutes while the protests were everywhere in the news, and a post about something else could seem oblivious/dismissive. But here is what I realized, going through months and months of old posts: this is not a current events blog. This is not a news blog. This is not a politics blog. This is not a blog about systemic racism/sexism, or about necessary governmental reform. It’s not a blog where we DON’T talk about such things, either—but if someone is looking for daily, up-to-the-minute deep-dives into what the issues are and why, and what should be done about them and why and how, this blog would not be the resource anyone would recommend. And there are SO MANY OTHER qualified, interested writers handling that, day in and day out—real experts, and interested amateurs, and just so many choices for ALLLLLL of that. You can’t turn around without bumping into a huge array of choices.
Whereas THIS, as it becomes clear to me while editing post after post from 2008 and 2009 on the same topics I’m writing about in 2020, is a blog about sick babies (2009/2020), and Target shopping trips (2009/2020), and hair (2009/2020), and gift ideas (2008/2020), and cats (2009/2020), and irritating spouses (2009/2020), and bad days (2009/2020), and asking for advice (2009/2020), and so forth. And there is room for that, too: we wouldn’t want NOTHING BUT political/reform/corruption/news blogs, however important they are. I can tell you what I think about current events (racial injustice in the U.S. is horrifying and systemic, and there is hard work and big change ahead; our police force has become corrupted by racism and violence, and there is hard work and big change ahead; everyone should vote for affable, disappointing, yet-another-old-white-man Biden in 2020 because the alternative is literally one of the worst and stupidest people alive spending another four years steering what’s left of our country after the pandemic even further into fascism and white nationalism), but I’m not interested in writing eight paragraphs trying to get you to think the same way I do. I don’t have the education or the experience or the knowledge or, perhaps most importantly, the drive.
I’m going to continue to do what I’ve done since the very beginning of this blog, when I’d spent a fair amount of time feeling like I couldn’t start a blog until I knew what it would be ABOUT, and then finally I decided that what it was going to be about was “Whatever I feel like writing about that day.” Does that mean we get rather too many posts about grocery-shopping in a pandemic? POSSIBLY. Does that mean we are rather light on the big topics of the day, and rather heavy on what is desirable to purchase at Target? POSSIBLY. Does that mean there is rather a lot of small-picture whining, and not much big-picture perspective? OH INDEED. But thinking we can write only if we’re writing about The Very Most Important Things is like thinking people can’t complain if anyone else is worse off than they are—and you know, I hope, how I feel about that (#tagline) (it’s the hashtags, isn’t it; that’s what I’ll cringe about in ten years).
I am here for you, Swistle, and I am here for your parentheticals (current events or otherwise). When I want news, I go to NPR. When I want shopping/recipes/cats, I got to Swistle. Don’t let The Giant Internet Hand of Spanking
dissuade you from writing what you want to write.
I’d forgotten about this one and I love it So Much.
Small-picture whining is what is keeping me from being overwhelmed by big-picture horror, so please BRING IT ON.
Leigh, you perfectly summed up my feelings. :)
YES. An escape from the big picture horror is a necessary thing and you do it so beautifully.
Yes.
I am here for your blog exactly as it is and I don’t think for even one second that if you don’t write about something current events-y that means you don’t care about it or are oblivious to what’s going on. I want the day to day, the Target trips, the hair stories, the details of your life, exactly as you’ve been doing all this time.
I love your blog, and what you write about, and how you write about it. Thank you for writing. About all of it.
The reason why I love your blog so much is because life is mostly mundane and it is SO NICE to share that with someone who isn’t trying to show off her fitness/sell me MLM garbage/do the whole ‘mommy likes wine’ thing. I think you have the exact right amount of social awareness.
And this is a brilliant sentence: “everyone should vote for affable, disappointing, yet-another-old-white-man Biden in 2020 because the alternative is literally one of the worst and stupidest people alive spending another four years steering what’s left of our country after the pandemic even further into fascism and white nationalism”
I’m just waiting for the bumper sticker.
I’d buy it…
This is the place I come to for logical & balanced pieces of life’s adventures. I’m so glad you’re here.
Thanks for not dwelling on the state of things. I’ve stopped watching the news because it seems like that’s all there is and it’s depressing. On the other hand, it has led to my discovery of Monk airing for several hours every morning.
If you can stand a shopping update, I went yesterday (for milk which I did not realize we needed last Friday! How? Clearly I’m losing my mind….) and the store has added big “One Way. Do Not Enter” and “Enter Here” signs to the stickers on the floor at the end of aisles. As usual they were largely ignored. Still can’t decide if it’s obliviousness or deliberate stubbornness. And there were far fewer masks. Eeks.
FAR fewer masks on my most recent grocery trip too. And people seemed to be less respectful of personal space too. Eeeks indeed.
The one way signs — sigh. It annoys me when I get to the end of an aisle and realize that I don’t need anything from the next aisle but I *will* need to go through that aisle to get myself to the proper end of the aisle I *do* need items from. It’s about 50/50 right now whether I ignore the one way signs and just go get the stuff I need from each aisle. I keep reminding myself why the signs are there. And as silly as it sounds, I give myself a *lot* of self praise for following the signs when I do. I am the most benevolent person, ever. Look how awesome I am. It takes the edge of the annoyance when I really start to go overboard with my acceptance speech for the Nobel prize I am sure to win (in my head).
I REALLY am grateful that you still write when so many others (myself included) have abandoned ship. I appreciate what you share and it is helpful to me in a lot of ways. I read each post and it feels like checking in with a friend I’ve known for many years. My kids are 14 and 17, so I have really liked “growing” as a parent and adult in general along with you, someone who navigates many situations that are similar to my own. So thanks.
Right on! Bless.
What I’ve always loved best in blogs is a writer who shares something about their life in a way that gives me a window into their experience. And that’s you to a T.
Um, yes. Not only is this post right on, but @Anna’s comment directed me to the Spanking Hand post, which I had never read, and not only did I go read it but then I read down far enough in the comments on Slim’s comment which — well let’s just say that makes this whole experience a triple. Wow.
I did feel upset by bloggers who didn’t comment on the protests early and was happy that you did, but of course, my feelings are not in fact relevant here, except in the sense of whether I do or don’t come read your blog (which I do and will joyously continue).
I am beaming!
Oh I also loved the time a post asked if readers were aware that if they commented from one perspective, then commented again with a different name expressing a completely contrary opinion, that Swistle could see from their IP or email address (I forget which) that they were the same person and could see what they were doing, and then Slim commented something on that post, and then immediately after there was a post under a name that meant the opposite of Slim that said the opposite opinion.
I know this sound vague and I don’t remember which post it was, but the way it played out was funny enough that I’ve always remembered the gist.
The thing I miss most about blogging and reading blogs is getting daily updates on the minutia that somehow adds up to 90% of life and that we mostly forget about looking back. I miss hearing about the lives of people who are in approximately the same life stage as me, and those slightly ahead/behind.
I quit Facebook, and I don’t regret that, except for getting updates on my old blogging friends and their kids. That part has been sad.
Swistle, been a reader for a long time and cannot stress to you enough how much I enjoy your posts, especially over the past few months. Our lives couldn’t be more different but that’s the beauty of your blog – it shows that no matter how different we (all) are, we (all) have things in common, can relate to, or just enjoy hearing about.. Just because you like X and I like Y, those things don’t preclude us from both liking Z.
Not sure how I stumbled on your blog but I do know that yours is the only one I continue to read and enjoy.
Peace & love!
Three cheers for mundanity and Swistle’s articulateness! Hear, hear!
Hip, hip, hooray!
YES! A few nights ago I was bummed out by all the news about coronavirus and the terrible injustice in our society, and so for a few minutes of relief I turned to the handful of blogs I follow, hoping for some daily minutiae to distract me from the crushingly depressing state of this world.
All of my familiar internet haunts were either talking about current events (understandably), or hadn’t been updated in awhile. No relief to be had!
Anyway, all this to say: YES! I want to hear about groceries and haircuts and Target finds. You strike the perfect balance, and for that I am grateful.
Keep on. It’s good.
“The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those who sang best.” – Henry Van Dyke
Or if no birds sang except those who sang Historically Important Songs. I’m so glad you keep singing. Never stop, please.
YES to all this. Your increased posting has been a bright spot in this dreary time.
I love your blog, every single post. I love the grocery updates, the bad days, the political, the everything. I guess I love your variety. I have been reading it so long it feels like we are intimate friends, and I love that. I have a few of your posts bookmarked: the middle school dress code and the one where you broke a laundry basket because of an argument with Paul. If I feel blue I read those, especially the comments. I also really love the “use the good stuff” post and “drops IN the bucket.” xoxoxo don’t stop doing what you’re doing.
I love your blog. I have read your archives to get through more than one anxiety attack. The minutiae is grounding, relatable, wholesome without being annoying. It’s like reading the comics in the newspaper (back when I read the paper daily and it had more content-our local paper is ridiculous now). It doesn’t mean I don’t also read the gritty articles, but the comics are a moment of joy and relatability. Please keep doing what you’re doing. And unapologetically speaking your truths.
Ditto to what everyone else has said. And to what you, yourself said – if I want the news or an update on what the world is currently offering up there are places I can go for that. If I want to see what is up in Swistle’s world and get her perspective on whatever it is she has to say – then I come here.
Thank you for all that you do. You are a rock star.
RIGHT ON, SISTER! ✊🏼 That’s what I’m here for. All of it.
Girl, same.
I am very grateful for your writing and it’s not only what you write about but how you write it. Your tone and humor are such a relief especially in these times. I look forward to your updates but I also understand your feelings about not posting for a bit.
I go back and read your mother in law posts periodically. I have a difficult relationship with mine and I was so tempted to have it out with her until yours passed away and you expressed how grateful you were that you never did that. With truly difficult people it most likely doesn’t help and can make things worse.
👍🏻😘💗
Agree 1000%. Keep it up – we need a corner of calm and sanity. I am also a lover of the archives, especially the posts about parenting and twins (which is weird, because I don’t have twins). Your commentary about resenting people in grocery stores saying “it all goes by so fast” or “just you wait until …” was so helpful to me. I have adopted Swistle wisdom in many aspects of my life and quoted you to others.
I am very curious about the kids’ relationships now that everyone is home together. Are they bonding in new ways? Fighting? I know that both scenarios (and of course combinations) are common.
When they’re all awake (the two eldest have nearly turned nocturnal), I notice the two eldest are spending more time talking to their younger siblings, and sometimes the five kids play games together, which I just lovvvvvvvvvvve (it’s like one of my DREAMS of having a bigger family). And the twins are hanging out more together: one of them will go up to the other and say in a faux-menacing voice, “PLAY MARIO KARTS WITH ME” or whatever—and then they DO. But it seems like everyone’s getting on each others nerves more, too, which makes sense.
Here for it!
I love your blog, its one of the few blogs that I have continued to read as others have fallen away. I found your blog when I was pregnant with my second kid (13 years ago!). I can’t tell you the number of times I have texted my sister a link to a particular post and said “YES, THIS, I FEEL SO SEEN”. You’ve brought a quiet happiness to my day so many times. And you sent my mom the most wonderful, delightful cancer care package last year for your fundraiser. Keep doing you, you’re doing a great job.
This is the first thing I read in the morning, because of everything it is, all the things about it. You are so satisfying. Thank you.
I am trying to cherish every moment, but having my Internalized Swistle commiserate with me as I go through my day is such a help.
I remember reading your blog several years ago. I think you must have been in another blogger’s blog roll. But then that blogger stopped and I didn’t read this blog for a few years. I re-found your blog around the time when you were buying your current house. We were also buying a house and you had a post about feeling some regret about the new house that resonated deeply and that’s when I added your blog to my bookmarks.
Reading some of the links to the 2009 posts makes me want to read through your archives to get the back story.
Anyway, mostly just wanted to say that I, too, enjoy the shopping updates, spousal frustrations and all the other tiny moments of life. There have been several moments of “I could have written that”.
When I’ve had a busy week, and am finally able to check your blog and see several posts waiting to be read, I’m like “YES!”. Kind of like making good things last. And ditto what everyone above me has posted. Thank you for being you!