I keep getting overwhelmed by housework and having to use the “Just do ONE THING” method on myself. Everything STACKS so stressfully: I see the litter box needs scooping and then, as I’m making that mental note, I see I still haven’t put away that load of clean laundry from several days ago; and then I am in the kitchen and I see the counter needs wiping so apparently I’m going to have to nag the child whose job that is, and another child has left dishes on the counter so apparently I have to track them down and nag them about THAT, and the kitchen floor is looking grubby again; and then I go into the bathroom and I see the mirror needs cleaning and I remember ALL the mirrors need cleaning, and there is visible dust on the toilet tank, and the toilet paper roll needs changing and am I really going to have to PITCH A SHRIEKING FIT before anyone else but me ever changes it?—and at that point I can’t really do ANYTHING because there is TOO MUCH TO DO and also I am TOO PISSED.
But if I say firmly to myself, “No, no—just pick ONE THING and do it,” I can cope. Sometimes I even do MORE THAN ONE THING, but I absolutely do not plan/count on that. Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen floor AND I scooped the litter box AND I nagged several children. Today perhaps I’ll do the mirrors and the shrieking fit!
I am continuing to rely pretty heavily on Target.com to supplement shopping trips. (I mean I order shipments, like through the mail.) One reason this works well for me is that I truly LIKE messing around with online shopping carts, checking daily to see if certain things are in stock, etc. Even in normal times, that is something I do recreationally. So in times of shortage and lockdown, where in-person shopping is now pretty stressful for me, it is something I would categorize as “fun” as well as useful, and it makes me feel cheery as well as productive.
A few days ago I ordered cat food, which is still available at our grocery store but I can’t spare the space in the grocery cart. Also trail mix, which I realize is half chocolate, but it’s also half nuts/raisins, and the kids don’t generally eat nuts/raisins otherwise. Also soft pants and deodorant and body wash. Today I ordered a bunch of stuff that was either out of stock or in very low supply when I went shopping on Sunday: granola and baking chocolate and pecans and brown sugar and rolled oats, and pizza sauce and soup and picante/salsa and pasta, and hand soap (they have the Mrs. Meyer’s lilac!) and facial tissue. A lot of these things are going in and out of stock rapidly (the lilac soap has been OH NO THEY DON’T HAVE IT and then OH THANK GOODNESS THEY HAVE IT and then OH NO IS IT REALLY SPRING WITHOUT LILAC SOAP) (I like the foaming Everspring lavender-bergamot and foaming J.R. Watkins lavender, too, even though lavender is no lilac), but I am tracking them like the fierce shopper-hunter I am, and it is SO GRATIFYING. And then the boxes arrive like magic! like good-fairy deliveries! like care packages from the grocery elves!
Oh! Oh! And I ordered ACETAMINOPHEN (aka Tylenol), which we don’t usually use, but then there were all those articles about how it was better than ibuprofen for Covid-19, and then there were all those response articles about how it wasn’t, and/or how it might be but that the sample was too small to make such big claims, and then there were articles saying here are the things you should have on hand and they included acetaminophen, and then there were first-person accounts that said “I had the corona virus and here is what I took” and the list included acetaminophen—but THERE WAS NO ACETAMINOPHEN TO BE FOUND THROUGHOUT THE LAND except for the extra-strength or sleep-aid versions, and then suddenly this morning the Target site had it, and with pounding heart (MAYBE IT WILL SELL OUT BEFORE I MAKE IT THROUGH THE CHECK-OUT PROCESS) I bought one.
I feel like everyone feeling sad about sports being canceled should try getting into online shopping.
I had fun stalking my toilet paper brand to buy more. I used zoolert and now in stock Google group. 40 emails over one day and constant checking and I was able to get some delivered. Now my grocery store has tp in stock again, but it was a nice hunt thrill.
This is why I love this blog! I just used that website to find TP and dish detergent, get it shipped, and now I can stay out of the stores for a few more weeks. Thank you!!
Thank you so much for this post and all your other posts, but this post particularly seems to be like the Song of My People.
I need to tell you that yesterday I woke up and found out that my son WHO HAS BEEN A PILL FOR THE LAST WEEK emptied the dishwasher overnight without my asking him to AND ALSO RELOADED IT. Which is a MIRACLE. I mean, he did it wrong, but he did it. And I thanked him for it TWICE (without even once mentioning he’d done it wrong, because I am a SAINT and also not stupid). Whereupon he said, “It makes me feel bad that you are so joyful about me doing the bare minimum.” Whereupon I said, “The bare minimum is you taking out the trash without me asking. I know you hate all dishwasher-related activities and particularly loading it, and that’s why I’m so grateful.”
Everything is still a mess, and I’m the only one who seems to notice when anything needs cleaning, but I witnessed a miracle yesterday.
Last year, during a discussion of household chores, my 11yo daughter told me she had no problem doing all her own laundry, and in fact would do the whole family’s if, for the love of Pete, I would stop asking her to unload the dishwasher. I haven’t asked since. She doesn’t do all the laundry, but when I come home with 10 bags of groceries, she doesn’t hesitate to put them away. Sometimes she gets a teary hug, which she accepts with an eyeroll. She’ll get it when/if she raises kids.
It’s astounding, isn’t it?
!!!
I feel this deep in my soul. Oldest took out the trash and recycling and pulled the cans to the curb without having to be reminded last week and THE HEAVENS OPENED AND ANGELS SANG! OK not really but at this point I feel like any time someone in the family does chores without being nagged it feels miraculous. These days I just wish like crazy that someone else would not just wipe down the counters with a damp (questionably clean) sponge but also occasionally use the counter cleaner what we have just for our kitchen counters. Once a day maybe someone else could notice the state of our counters? Maybe?? Anyone?? Sigh.
It’s an actual miracle, I tell you.
That truly IS a miracle!!!
This is so very timely. I have been thinking that maybe I should just kick everyone out into the yard and clean the entire house in peace before they re-enter. That hollering at the kid who is supposed to do which job in the kitchen is me to a TEE! The list is posted – what is so hard?
I organized my desk and I cannot find the bill I needed to pay and now I fear that I accidentally threw away all of the bills. The one bill was on my radar, which is why I noticed it went missing – but now I am left scratching my head like, ‘Hmm. Weren’t there others?’
Sometimes instead of just begging everyone to help out I realize it would just be faster if I just did it all, but I don’t eat Doritos in the family room and leave whole chips on the floor for someone else to clean up. So then I just get pissed off. I was in a foul mood last week and the kids were scared (maybe that I would never prepare another meal or maybe that I would just never stop shouting), so they jumped through hoops and raced around doing all the things I was ordering them to do. They pulled out furniture and wiped down baseboards and got the stuff out from behind the TV and vacuumed. I hate to have to use that lunatic cleaning method on the regular, but drastic times. I have other projects BESIDES CLEANING THE HOUSE that I hope to accomplish.
I am not a huge online shopper, but maybe that can become my new hobby.
Love this post! Favorite part: “Today perhaps I’ll do the mirrors and the shrieking fit!”
I would love if you could offer the online shopping as a service — i am finding it SO STRESSFUL TO play the game of “should i order this now or later” and how many things I need to “need” before I should shop and then watching things disappear from my cart — ARGH.
Scheduling the shrieking fit is my favorite too!
I too hate it when I have to pitch a fit about people not doing what they’re supposed to do automatically. How do the kids not notice the giant pile of laundry that’s waiting for them to fold and put away? How do they still put their dishes on the counter above the dishwasher regularly instead of in them? How, FTLOG, is it that I find unflushed toilets when no one in the house is still in a single-digit age, and WHAT DOES THAT PORTEND ABOUT WHETHER THEY WASHED THEIR HANDS?!?!
But if I don’t summon them and make them do it, they don’t even realize that they’ve not done stuff they’re supposed to do, and there’s even less motivation to remember and do it the next time. So yeah, fit-pitching time, ugh.
THE UNFLUSHED TOILETS! WHY??!! We do not now, nor have we ever lived in California or any other drought stricken location where “if it’s yellow let it mellow” has been our motto. Why are my double-digit aged children doing this???
You need the Ten Minute Tidy at your house – where everyone takes 10 minutes all at the same time and frantically tries to clean up/put away everything that they can. Set a timer. You will be amazed at what can be accomplished. Sometimes we do it for a little bit longer. Also, I have committed to 1 specific hour of tidying/cleaning on work days (not on weekends). My time is from 2:00-3:00 p.m. (I work from home and I “get off” at 2:00, so this time works for me. If I lounge right after work I am DONE for the day.)
Also, Mrs. Meyers had a free shipping deal if you spent $30 or more. That was FUN. I got the lilac and the peony. And they have a new rose scent, which I ordered in the hand soap, dish soap, and multi-surface spray. That box was like Christmas! And now I’m all stocked up AND a happier cleaner.
We call it Three Song Clean where we rotate who picks the songs that play while we clean. It works out to be about 10 minutes and it’s amazing how much you can do in 10 minutes!
Your last line made me laugh out loud. I just about fell off my chair.
Walmart just had Tylenol for sale, shipped, so I bought two bottles AND paid for shipping. I can’t believe it’s come to this. BUT one of my dearest friends is sick and I would bet all the money in my pockets that it’s Covid, so I’m really feeling it right now.
My family does what Jolie does with the Ten Minute Tidy, though ours is longer. We have a list of household cleaning that needs to be done and once a week we organize the tasks and everybody works at once. We get done in less than an hour. That gets things like the bathroom, vacuuming, pick up, sheets washed and laundry sorted all in one go without it all falling to just one person. There are still other things throughout the week, but then I’m not left feeling like a pissed-off Cinderella.
Yes! A pissed-off Cinderella is a great description for that feeling!
We are seriously shopping soulmates. I would love to be turned loose in a TJMaxx with you someday.
Can we see pictures of your cats? Or have you posted them before?
It’s impossible to keep the house clean with EVERYONE HERE ALL THE TIME!
Monday I was ordering something from Amazon and it said if I ordered in 1 minute and 15 seconds I would receive the product by Wed… hoo-boy my competitive spirit was engaged!
I woke up this morning pre-dawn and lay there trying to figure out why I am overly irritated at having to do my usual cleaning, because I am irritated at the little stuff that I always do anyway. And sure, everyone is home more so it’s more mess but my frustration is much larger than the increase in mess.
Anyway, I came to the conclusion that the root of the problem is that my mental load has increased dramatically. (Remember that comic/essay?). In addition to everything I was keeping up with, now I’m having to track food and supplies much more closely. I’m having to stressfully plan a grocery trip (when previously my grocery store stress was remembering the reusable bags…) I’m also having to keep kid’s school work up and communicate with teachers more. Anyway, my mental load has increased. And the other humans in this house don’t seem to have picked up any slack in noticing that the toilet looks gross, so let me give it a quick clean.
Anyway, perhaps I should take a walk by myself today.
I hear you on this. And, it is compounded by the fact that you might not get to pick up the supplies that you need when you do venture out to the store. Also, why am I the only person who is able to notice when something is about to be used up and put it on the list? For the love. I only asked five times what we were out of/running out of/needed to buy before I went out and now we are out of ghee, mayo, and mini tortillas.
Your description of wandering from one room to another, getting distracted by task after task, reminds me of a joke/concept that I did not come up with, but refer to often. It goes like, “I did B, but first I had to to A, and then I noticed that Z needed to be done, and before I knew it, I was shaving a llama in the bathtub.” Just the way tasks lead to other tasks, neverendingly. Hubby and I abbreviate it: “There sure were a lot of llamas upstairs!” We have two small children who seemingly run a llama breeding operation.
Also, what is the difference between picante sauce and salsa?
I am not 100% sure what the difference is supposed to be, but it seems to be more FINELY-CUT stuff in it. Like, no big chunks.
Your description just reminded me of an episode of Malcolm in the Middle, where the dad comes home and notices a light bulb is out, goes to fix it, and then it snowballs from there:
Hahaha totally omg.
Oh wow, just wow. That ending was awesome!
I wasn’t ready for that last line. It made my whole day.
I have Target Online shopping on my to-do list today, even though I’m using Kroger’s Clicklist for the reasons you stated. Specifically: Grocery Fairies.
Soft pants are my jam. I may never wear real pants ever again.
I have finally cracked the (temporary but whatever the hell works for now) code to keeping my house clean with all these children home. Mine are still small. Small enough that their daily jobs are just unloading dishes and putting their own things in the hamper and picking up toys. BUT. everyone gets a show right before lunch every single day now after they unload the dishes. Which gives me 20 solid minutes to meal prep and swoop through the main areas of the house with a damp rag and a broom cleaning up from the breakfast and distance learning chaos. And then magically I seem to get a second wind around 4pm to do something similar. I don’t know where all this magic cleaning energy has come from but I am SO grateful for it.
I want to know how you all manage the Ten Minute Tidies without ending up yelling…
If anyone would like to share in my fury, my children have been doing schoolwork in my bed. Fine, I don’t care. EXCEPT that they eat snack in my bed, so I climb in at night to crispy, crumbly filled sheets and a room decorated with dirty dishes. I have banned food from my bedroom, but alas, I do not have the emotional fortitude to stay on top of that.
Fuuuuuuck
I would be PISSSSSED
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Today someone in my house ate cereal out of a paper bowl with a plastic spoon. And put them both in the sink. I just…come on…
HAHAHAHAHAHA. sob.
I found two empty ice cream pints in the dishwasher yesterday. I recognized them — fancy ice cream that we somehow hadn’t finished, and it developed ice quills, so I put the containers in the sink to melt before dumping.
But why were the empty cartons in the dishwasher later? WHY?
“I thought you’d want to recycle them,” said my spouse, who has thrown out hundreds of ice cream cartons over the course of our marriage.
Is lockdown making us all stupider?
YES! Lockdown appears to be making most of my household a whole lot stupider, which intensifies my RAGE at said stupidity.
That last line…pure gold.
If a shrieking fit is called for – go for it. Sometimes that’s the only thing that works.
I mentioned this in Twitter, but I am now also mentioning it on here. With all six of us home now, my husband has started noticing and doing more stuff. And…he just could not handle all the dishes we all produced (and the four kids all ignoring all chore charts and pleas for help). So! He pulled ALL the dishes out of the kitchen except for 1 plate, 1 bowl, and 1 mug per person! And now everyone is responsible for their own dishes. And suddenly the dishes aren’t quite so daunting! All these years of me losing it over ALLLLLL the dishes. Why did I never think of that?!
Now. If only someone else would actually wipe up their spilled sugar or cereal or juice or…..
Genius! I finally cracked and gave everyone their own hair tie to put on their cup in order to mark their water – different color different kid and parent. These kids don’t remember life before a dishwasher.
Swistle, do you have any tips for telling which Target stuff is available for shipping? When I looked for granola the red tag on the search result said one thing but when I clicked on it it said another thing and when I tried to filter. items that said they could be shipped a second ago didn’t show up anymore. Is that just part of the thrill of the hunt or am I missing something?
For all I love Target (and I do so love Target), their website is famously exasperating. When I started placing my grocery orders, I fiddled with filters for awhile just to see if anything had changed, but no: still pretty teeth-clenchingly difficult. Here are my few tips:
1. When I search something (I’ll use granola, since you and I are on the same path there) like “granola,” as the page loads it FIRST includes things under each item such as “Only ships with $25 orders”—making it seem as if it would be available for shipping. BUT THEN, if you wait, the page finishes loading, and additional things like “Not available for shipping” OR “Free standard shipping” appear under the still-existent “Only ships with $25 orders.” *clench teeth*
2. So then AFTER the page is fully loaded, I start clicking on the ones that now say “Free standard shipping with $35 orders” (or anything similar, it doesn’t have to be specifically the $25/$35 thing). Those items should also have an “Add to cart” or “Add for shipping” button right under the item (as opposed to an “Add for pick-up” or “Check stores” button).
3. If you click the “Add to cart”/”Add for shipping” button, it should pop up a confirmation window. Sometimes it just does a teeny “Something went wrong, item not added to cart” window instead, which then disappears—so if you were distracted, you might THINK you added it to your cart but it wasn’t added. *clench teeth*
4. If you instead click through to the item (sometimes you have to, to choose package size or whatever, or sometimes you might just want to look at it more closely), then you can click the “Ship it” button from there instead.
The filtering is just…I don’t want to say useless, but I am finding it useless. I do sometimes click the box “Available for shipping” at the upper left (which I have to click “more options” to even SEE, since it defaults to only in-store and pick-up), but I find it gives me false positives and false negatives. So I instead think of it as the thrill of the hunt.
Some things ARE selling out as I shop, so you’re not losing your mind if you see something available and then it’s not available a few minutes later. And sometimes I’ll add two of something to my cart, and a few minutes later it’ll say it’s no longer available, but if I change the quantity to 1 it WILL be available. BUT ALSO, I think something is a little wonky with the inventory, because sometimes something shows it’s available, and when I click “Add to cart” it says the item is now sold out. But if I look again, it shows it’s available. But then if I click, it’s not. So something is not quite right. *clench teeth*
Thank you, this is so helpful! Good to know I’m at least on the right track with all my teeth clenching.
The website is SO shitty. The app is slightly less shitty.
The mirror AND the shrieking fit. Ha ha ha! That’s my list for today!!
My soft pants were just delivered today too! My second pair of these: https://www.target.com/p/women-39-s-perfectly-cozy-wide-leg-lounge-pants-stars-above-8482-light-gray-xl/-/A-78264699