I am already seeing signs of the overcompensating for perceived losses we were talking about earlier. One of my Facebook friends was asking everyone to sign up at 15-minute intervals ALL DAY LONG to wish her child a happy birthday on video chat, in addition to having a Zoom party for her child’s friends. Another Facebook friend described the all-day celebration she had arranged, including special birthday breakfast, special birthday lunch, special birthday dinner, special activities throughout the day, extra presents, a honking car parade from all local friends/relatives, etc., so that her child declared it The Best Birthday Ever. I admire humanity’s enthusiastic and creative pursuit of celebration and joy, while also thinking this sounds exhausting and I’m not planning to do anything similar at our own house. (But I would feel differently if, for example, we’d planned a big party that had had to be canceled.) (I’m still not doing any all-day celebrations involving dozens of people.) (A Zoom party for the child’s friends sounds fun, though. It could be Bring Your Own Treat.)
Allergy season is upon us and Henry is sniffing and/or blowing his nose every few seconds—and that’s with daily Claritin and Flonase AND with some sort of allergy air quality device in his bedroom. And we’ve stopped getting his allergy shots for the time being, because he gets them at an ENT office that is in a hospital, and I am not going anywhere like that right now unless it is really crucial. The shots didn’t seem to be helping much anyway, but at least we could feel like we were DOING SOMETHING.
The dentist’s office called to reschedule some of our appointments; the orthodontist sent out an email saying she is canceling all appointments for now and will reschedule later. I have been thinking about how backed-up everything is going to be (dentists and orthodontists and doctors, hairdressers and barbers, eyebrows and mani/pedis), once we get out of here—especially since some places will have gone out of business in the meantime. Actually, you know what, let’s not think about that right now, that’s a worry for later. We’ll figure it out and we’ll all get back on schedule eventually, this is just a gigantic glitch. And during the glitch, some of us are going to find out we look great with grey hair, or that we can cut hair, or that our kids can do our nails, or whatever, and that’s going to help tremendously. And most of us can skip a dentist appointment, no big deal. It’s fine. It’s going to be fine.
We got our first shipment from Target, and I left it alone for two days because the recommendations for decontaminating things are still all over the place, everything from “No need, just wash your hands afterward” to “CONVERT YOUR GARAGE/HALLWAY INTO A MULTI-STEP DECONTAMINATION CHAMBER,” so I am taking a flailing guess somewhere in the middle. Anyway, I opened it and nearly cried, not that that’s hard to make me do, but. It felt like a care package, like an air-drop of emergency supplies. AND IT WASN’T EVEN EMERGENCY STUFF. But I was practically cradling each item before tucking it lovingly into the cupboards. Trail mix! Tortillas (our store was out, and I’ve been waiting to make crockpot chicken tacos)! Chocolate chips! Facial tissue and hankies! Mayo (our store was out)! Soup (our store was out)! Beans (our store was out)! Kraft Mac & Cheese! Crunchy Jif (our store was out)! Hand soap! It felt like bringing in a good harvest.
Nearly every birthday I had as a child was a cake at home with my immediate family. I do throw parties for my children, but not so many that they would be upset about a cake at home with their family. I think a birthday with a cake at home with your family is normal and nice and a pleasing standard to be able to fall back on. I am seeing an arms race of birthday parades and yard decorations in my town, even going so far as to ask firetrucks for young children’s birthday parades. I’m squeamish about that.
I can’t recall when he started the allergy shots, but at least in my experience they take a LONG time to work. I think I did them for 5-6 years? They did help significantly but just took a lot of time and consistency. Is there any way someone else could administer them while this is going on? He runs the risk of having to start over if he misses too many. (They really do sound like a racket when I describe them this way…but they can be very effective!)
Yes! I had allergy shots from age 5 to 14, and it was so helpful in the end. (I can now eat chocolate! And stop and smell the flowers!) But the consistency is important. How often is he currently getting them? Mine were 3 times a week at the beginning, once a month at the end. The tolerance is built up slowly….
He started at once a week, and when this all happened he was up to once every two weeks.
Then skipping for a couple of months should be doable. Ask the allergists; they may go back to once a week for a bit.
I think about your “overcompensating” theory a lot, not so much about birthdays–Lord willing we will all have another birthday next year–but about those once-in-a-lifetime milestones that are being missed or modified like weddings, graduations, proms. The moms in my daughter’s senior class are starting to talk about ways we can celebrate graduation in case the real thing is canceled, and I’m glad we’re making a plan but so sad that we must.
“CONVERT YOUR GARAGE/HALLWAY INTO A MULTI-STEP DECONTAMINATION CHAMBER,” – those posts are giving me such high anxiety, I cannot even. A friend who I love dearly texted me and told me about how I should disinfect everything, everything, everything and all I could think of was what happens when all that disinfectant seeps into the food and omg the virus is everywhere and and and
Anyway, I am happy you got such lovely packages! I am trying not to fret about my son’s braces and how the ortho office gave me tips on DIY orthodontia. I mean.
My birthday is in a couple of weeks and it is making me positively weepy to think that my mom won’t make me a strawberry angel cake this year (she will, but later, when this is all done) and it’s my 45th birthday and that feels like a milestone and sob sob sob.
Anyhoo. It will all be FINE.
I feel the same about the grocery contamination. Like I just can’t even go there. I mean if I had someone in the house with a super low immune system I would, but I’m sticking with the “bring in groceries, then wash hands” approach. I am doing pickup so at least I’m not in the store.
I also had to fix my son’s braces 4 times already. The wire keeps popping out. I didn’t even know that was something I might have to fix and it was so scary the first time. I couldn’t get it and I called the office and you can’t even leave a message. You have to e mail them. So then I googled it and figured it out. I even bought some fancy dental tweezers on amazon for $6, but I can’t get them to work as well as my cheap eyebrow ones. He was supposed to get his first rewiring this week and then get his expander out in May. They did set us up for a June 1st appointment, so that is hopeful. The regular dentist also called to cancel and set us up for May 12th which seems a little too hopeful?!
I almost called 311 for a wellness check on someone in my neighborhood. I walk my dog past the house daily and there was a box from Chewy on the porch for 3 days and it honestly didn’t occur to me that she may be decontaminating the box. I was so worried she was not ok in there and the dog was abandoned and I’m real glad I didn’t call.
I’m in the camp to just wash my hands after handling any packages that come, which are not many.
We have two birthdays coming up, including a boy turning 16 and I haven’t made any extra plans. We weren’t planning on having anything more than cake with the family to begin with and right now with all the extra that is going on I can’t even wrap my mind around more than that.
Also, 16 brings with it the nagging for driving time – he should get his license in 3 months. It is literally the last thing I want to do right now – drive around and use gas so that I have to touch the gas equipment touched by who knows who else. Also, we can’t even go anywhere so instead of two birds with one stone it’s just one bird. And, this bird is exhausted.
Also, that “care package” sounds heavenly. I’m dreading going to the stores tomorrow – who knows what I might be able to find. I’ve carefully made and remade my lists for the stores, but as it is I’m going to need to go to four. I don’t even have a mask, nor do I have a sewing machine. I feel like I’m being punished for listening to the CDC and leaving the masks for people who need them. Now, psych! I need them too. I think I’ll wear a bandana, if I can find one. Maybe a tshirt? Does anyone have any new sew ideas for a mask?
that’s no sew.
here is a link to one that just uses a bandanna (or piece of fabric) and rubber bands
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE0EuDHMfZ4
If the link doesn’t work, just search “no sew face mask” on Pinterest or Google or YouTube.
thank you. wading through youtube videos was just not something i wanted to tackle right now.
Hey Swistle. First, I have to say that more-regular Swistle posts have been one of the few benefits of this lockdown. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Second, I wanted to give a suggestion for Henry’s allergies. My husband thinks I’m crazy but, actually, my seasonal allergies went away when I gave up dairy. (Allergies weren’t the reason I stopped ingesting dairy but a nice by-product.) Now I have one or two bad days a season and that’s it. I don’t know if he would be willing to try but it’s something to try if nothing else is working. So glad your Target haul was so enjoyable!!
CDC did post a couple of no sew mask options: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/diy-cloth-face-coverings.html
OK so this was not the point of this post at all, but I clicked through to the post with the chicken taco recipe, and was BLOWN RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER that you can shred chicken with a stand mixer!? How have I never known this was an option!? Shredding meat is so annoying and tedious and messy! This feels Significant. Thank you, past Swistle.
I just got a Target delivery with Easter basket supplies, and it was also very magical. (Then I ate the entire bag of mini reeses pb cups that was meant to go in the baskets in 2 days, so had to order more. whoops.)
It is significant! It is lovely and will never go back!
ALICE. It is the best. The one caution is that if you get caught up in the excitement and let the mixer go too long, you will end up with chicken the texture of chunk light tuna, which is fine when you are expecting chunk light tuna but not when you want the bigger strings of fork-pulled chicken. So just let the mixer go until MOST of the chicken is shreddy, and mash/shred/stir the final few small chunks by hand.
We had to cancel my daughter’s tenth birthday party (a sleepover she was SO excited about) and instead she did a FaceTime with the friends who were supposed to come to the party. We will eventually have the sleepover because I have a giant tote bag of party favors/prizes which I do not want to keep forever. I view it as a “sometimes life is kind of crappy and you get a raw deal” lesson for her.
I cannot watch or read even one more video/post about disinfection of packages/groceries or basically tips of any kind. I have changed my life enormously in a very short time and every few days I have to make another adaptation based upon research and direction from knowledgeable authorities (e.g., face coverings when outside the home – which I am coping with by wearing scarves/bandanas because that is the limit of my ability to engage with that new advice).
Dear Lord, your Facebook friend with the every 15-min thing sounds exhausting. I’m routinely starting the day feeling worn-out and would probably have to mute anyone making a request like that. It’s not even a matter of saying yes– it’s that there are days that I don’t think I could take the burden of dealing with someone who thinks it’s okay to put that out as an ask.
I’ve never been a giant birthday celebration person. I can see how it could be loads of fun, but our family circumstances simply never allowed for it. Usually the birthday person gets to decide how the day goes and what we eat, and, of course, there’s cake. This will be nearly seamless for us, thankfully.
My mom sent me home-made masks and candies from my hometown candy shop (now offering curbside pick-up). It was a bittersweet package. Never before has my mom had to scrape together materials (bra strap ear loops!) in a shortage to make something to keep me alive. She sends me candy regularly, and never before have I teared up and gasped, “How did she get this?!”. The candy felt especially precious as we try to go longer between grocery trips and my favorite snacks, fresh fruit, run out. I felt sad about the fact that I was so grateful, if that makes sense.
I am stressing about the dentist, while continually reminding myself to NOT worry about the dentist until later. I *did* skip the last appointment we were due for (didn’t schedule it at all) in October because my family was in town for our traditional ‘schools out let’s go to the dentist’ day. That put our next one in mid-March. That didn’t happen and now we’re TWO appointments behind and I keep freaking out at how backed up the dentist will be. DEEP BREATH.
If it helps at all, I just rescheduled our dentist appointments this week. They have the kids coming in late June and the adults not until October. So yours may do the same thing! Maybe they will just need an extra in-between cleaning- it will be OK!
On allergy season, in addition to allergy meds, a very simple but helpful tip from our pediatrician was to always have the child shower and wash their hair before bed. If the child is hanging out on their bed during the day, and going outside, then at the very least change the pillow case. That made a huge difference for one of our kids (for him it is mainly spring seasonal allergies so we are not doing this year round).
My sister had the whole family on a Zoom chat to sing Happy Birthday to my nephew and he ran away in tears he was so overwhelmed by it all.
My daughter turns three in three weeks though. This is the first special occasion she has really understood. She wants a pink crown and presents, so goddamn it if I didn’t buy an overpriced crown and balloons from Etsy. And a dollhouse, which is a much bigger present than normal, but we are obviously spending a lot of time indoors now, so this seems like a fair investment. I’ll make a cake. Maybe Facetime with my mom. But I truly can’t see layering in any other friends or family. I’ll be lucky if she agrees to talk to my mom…
My daughter is also turning three in May, and she recently informed us that she is expecting her presents to be under a Christmas tree… not sure I’m going to be able to pull that one off…
How about a flat construction paper one taped on the wall?
Or maybe…
https://www.amazon.com/Joiedomi-Tabletop-Christmas-Ornaments-Decorations/dp/B07XLFQ9N9
My clinic cancelled all allergy appointments and aren’t rescheduling them at this time. I was at monthly shots and was told that each additional week past when I should get a shot is a step back down the building scale. They also said it can take two years to see results, but after five years of shots (most of them monthly), most people have no symptoms.
Also, Claritin loses effectiveness over time (they all do, your body gets used to them over time, it stinks). Maybe zyrtec would work better?
There is something that has been on my mind since your worry post….
Is it fair to treat your tendency to worry as a problem? Do men worry, or only women? Maybe you are just a Super Planner who isn’t being given the credit nor the opportunity she should be!
I think a few more empowered planners/worriers might have helped us avoid the current situation altogether.
I too think worry can be beneficial/useful, but it can also be fruitless/upsetting. Which is why I have my systems for triaging. I don’t want to get rid of the Beneficial/Useful kind (where I end up stocking up on groceries, and implementing fire safety plans, and figuring out Best Options), but I also don’t want to waste time/energy/morale with the Fruitless/Upsetting Kind (where I lie awake fretting, or worry about things I can’t have any effect on, or worry about things before I have enough information for Fruitful Worrying).
Today is the kind of day where I don’t have anything to add to the conversation, except that speaking of care packages, I just ordered $50 of assorted varieties of the WORLD’S BEST gummy candies from Albanese. (They are VERY good, and there were SO many more to choose from in their online store, and I was already paying shipping. Right? And I have two teenagers who will be more than happy to taste-test gummy candy.) So this is what my world has come to.
I am optimistic that appointments won’t get too backed up. Even if my family missed, say, 5 hair cuts per male and 2 per female, we only need 1 appointment per person to get caught up.
Dentist and medical appointments might not be quite like that, but in many cases I think each household might make the decision to resume those appointments at different times. Like, a young healthy adult who’s worried about cavities might try to get in to the dentist as soon as appointments are being scheduled, whereas an older person with medical concerns who hates going to the dentist (my dad) is likely to hesitate a bit longer even after the community starts to reopen businesses.
I’m sure not going to be in a hurry to schedule routine checkups for everyone in my family with all the various doctors, so those appointment slots that we’d normally use will be free for folks who need them sooner.
I can see the temptation to buy into the birthday over-doing it at the moment. If nothing else it is a lovely distraction for everyone. My daughter had her’s last week. We did a backyard teddy-bear picnic with some home-made treats (I made marshmellow, some cookies and a cake). Her brothers very begrudgingly (especially the teenager) sat on cushions, holding stuffed animals and joined in. I think it was a pleasant distraction and a day that she should remember positively.
We always try to do something nice for birthdays but it is very much in the ‘birthday-child-chooses-spaghetti-for-dinner’ stream rather than ‘birthday-child-flies-whole-class-to-disneyland’. I’m fine with that.
I got quite teary eyed reading about your Target shipment! As you mentioned it isn’t quite the same as getting air dropped supplies in WWII Occupied France-BUT for us, it does mean a lot. When this stuff first started-we did a Sam’s Club online order. All our Sam’s Clubs closed a couple years ago, but we continued to order our K-cup Caribou coffee from them. Anyway, we ordered the coffee, along with things like peanut butter, trail mix, dried fruit, tuna fish. When we got those packages in a very reasonable amount of time, it bolstered our confidence in a way, like everything will be OK. I will take and cherish any good feeling I can right now!