I just wrote a really long post agitating about how to continue paying Paul’s barber as we are continuing paying the housecleaners, and I deleted it all because it was dull and yet stress-generating at the same time. We’ll just…figure that out somehow, no need for four lengthy paragraphs of hand-wringing.
I am also getting increasingly agitated as we get closer to the time we will need to go to the grocery store. But I don’t need to write all that out: we’re all in that boat. I’ll just say that my main concern is that I’ll wait to go, and then the store will be out of some of the things we need, which sounds like it is the case for everyone. Then I’ll have made the risky trip, and not even be able to check that risky trip off my list, and have to make an additional risky trip. It isn’t as if the virus gives out exemptions: “Oh, you couldn’t get eggs? Well, you went more than a week between grocery store visits, and it’s not your fault you couldn’t get what you needed, so here’s a pass for one additional exposure-free trip.” EVEN THE FIRST TRIP WASN’T ON A VIRUS-FREE PASS.
Anyway. Someone in my house is opening the door of the microwave to take out their item before the timer goes, but then not clearing the timer, so that the poor microwave sits there hour after hour scrolling “PRESS START” in its little message field. I live with savages.
Book recommendations feel weird right now, with limited/uncertain methods for acquiring books. But have you ever read anything by Sarah Addison Allen? I had two of her books in my last pile of library books. First I read Garden Spells, which reminded me of Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman, which I also liked. But then I read the sequel, First Frost, and liked it considerably less. If I were still going daily to the library, I’d check out a few more books of hers to see whether they were more like the first book or more like the second one.
We are in the weird Calm Before The Storm phase right now, and I hope that tired cliché won’t keep you from picturing all the additional clichés that make it such useful imagery: the weird oppressive feeling to the air, and the sky being the wrong color, and how it gets much darker than it should be for that time of day, and the wind starts to act weird and scary in little preview doses, and you know something is going to happen but you don’t know how bad it’s going to be. We are all going to lose people to this pandemic, and for some people that has started: they’re in the first edge of the storm, and it’s already begun for them. But right now, I don’t even know anyone who has been diagnosed with it. And my house is still in the “Oh, it’s kind of nice to BAKE again!”/“Oh, it’s nice to have the KIDS all home!” part. So it feels kind of interesting right now, with little practical/interesting considerations like how to cut hair and how to get exercise and who to keep paying and how much online shopping to do and how to stretch the groceries (and how to go to the GROCERY STORE without ending up in the HOSPITAL)—but with the looming unknown impending bad stuff right ahead of us, and the accompanying feeling of dread. I am trying to hit the right balance between “not borrowing tomorrow’s trouble” and “not being oblivious.”
I loved all three of Abbi Waxman’s audiobooks, especially The Bookish Life of Nina Hill, so I’m recommending those to everyone these days. Light and cute. Nina Hill is living my best life if I were a young single person living in a warm climate. She works at a bookstore! She is on a trivia team! She and her friends banter wittily!
I hear you about the grocery store. I don’t want to be at the point of desperation for anything when I shop next (likely Thursday) in case they’re out of something crucial, but I want to not go for a reasonable amount of time and I want room in my fridge/freezer to have been opened up by the consuming of what I already have.
Oh, and I’m not sure I’d pay a barber. I’d pay regular cleaners, and home daycare providers that had to shut down though if I could afford to. Easy for me to say though: I don’t have a cleaner and my kids are out of the daycare age. But when my daycare provider back in the day did get sick or go on holidays, I paid her.
I should clarify that I normally cut my own hair, so again, the paying or not paying of a barber is all theoretical.
I also groom my dog myself during the warmer months, so that’s not really a quandry I’m facing right now either, though if it was winter I’d probably offer to pay my groomer when my dog would normally need a trim, or even frame it as pre-paying for a trim when she was open again if she didn’t want to take the money,.
It’s all very stressful. I’m so happy you have all your children home. My daughter lives in a big city many hours away, and I know she is being careful, but I wish she were here with us. She and her dad are playing Animal Crossing, so that’s great; we have contact with her every day and she seems to be doing okay.
Shopping! This is a very big deal for me. I’m over 60, so I get to go to the special seniors-only hours, but it’s not very helpful because most of the people who live here year-round are ALSO over 60. We decided (well, I decided, because I am the more-neurotic one and we are in this together) that we are done with the big grocery store. We have a local mom & pop store in our town that is doing curbside pickup only and, while they have a limited selection, they do have the necessities and we are happy to support them through this Time. You call on the phone, place your order, drive over, they put the bags on a table outside and back off, and then you get out of your car and pick up the bags. If they can’t find something, they will call you up and ask what you want to do instead. This keeps all the store workers protected and us too.
The big bonus is that they also have a LIQUOR STORE and so I was able to replenish my favorite indulgent liqueur that will help me get through. Full disclosure: It’s Irish Mist, which is an Irish whiskey-based liqueur, similar to Drambuie. So it makes a nice nightcap, but also will turn your coffee into magic.
Our family takes a lot of prescription medication, so about once a week, one of them is ready for pick-up. We go to the grocery store to pick it up, and then we buy whatever we can find on our list. TP is back, 6 to a package, Wegmans is limiting everyone to one pack.
Flour is back, but if it isn’t in your store, try the international aisle, they may have flour (or at the very least corn flour).
Eggs are back (limit 2, I think). Milk is back (please leave the ones marked WIC, and take a different size if you can). Butter is back (limit two).
If your local grocery is out, ask them when they restock and, if they aren’t already limiting purchases, ask them to follow Wegmans lead so there will be enough for everyone.
Think about substitutions. If you normally get canned tomato paste, the international aisle may have some in a tube. In fact, the international aisle will probably have a lot of items other aisles may be out of (under different names and in different packaging).
I am hesitant to make a book recommendation too but I recently read Match Making for Beginners by Maddie Dawson and I loved it so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops! So I’ll recommend it here instead. It is free on kindle unlimited (through Amazon). 😊
I don’t know how you do this, Swistle, but you continually nail the exact specific feeling I (and I am sure a lot of other people) am feeling, at any given time. Today it is:
“I am trying to hit the right balance between “not borrowing tomorrow’s trouble” and “not being oblivious.””
This is EXACTLY where I am. Trying to manage all of the daily living in our new reality, while staying informed of virus news and at the same time trying not to let it overwhelm me into a complete panic of dread of what is coming down the pike.
You are a light in the darkness, Swistle – please don’t ever stop writing!
Yes, this! I sometimes think that whilst I absolutely have a good handle on all that is going on and keep myself well up to date with all news sources, I am almost deliberately ‘semi-la-la-la-ing’ in the back of my mind as a slight self-protection against it all. I/we are definitely in full-compliance mode, but I continue to totally assume that none of us will actually get ill 🤷🏻♀️.
I highly recommend these books:
“His Majesty’s Dragon” by Naomi Novik (and anything else she writes). This series is Hornblower on dragons and it’s awesome.
Read anything ever written by Georgette Heyer. My favorites to recommend starting with are “Venetia” (SO GOOD) and “Frederica” (FUN!)
Did you know that Frances Hodgson Burnett also wrote books for adults? “The Shuttle” is super ahead of it’s time.
Josephine Tey wrote only 7 books, but they are all awesome. My favorites are “Brat Farrar” and “Miss Pym Disposes”. And “Daughter of Time” and “The Franchise Affair”.
Yes Georgette Heyer! My sister loves her books, and got me hooked. Frederica is really fun. I will look for Frances Hodgson Burnett adult books because I did not know about these. I feel like I have read Miss Pym Disposes, but I need to check out Josephine Tey.
Thanks for the suggestions!
My pleasure! The Shuttle is available for real cheap on Kindle (I think it’s in the public domain now).
I LOVE the Novik books. I really love the Temeraire series (“His Majesty’s Dragon is the first) but I love even more Spinning Silver, which is the kind of compelling book that as soon as it was over I just started it again because I wasn’t ready to be done.
I like your taste! I really enjoyed Naomi Novik’s Spinning Silver as well.
Umm, I sooo wish the library was open right now. I LOVE the Temeraire series by Naomi Novik and Frances Hodgson Burnett was one of my most favorite authors as a child. So, I feel like I really really to check out these books.
Grocery shopping is challenging right now. They say go at your regularly scheduled time and make a lot of trips, but when you go to do your normally schedule shopping they are out of some basics (like eggs). So my husband (who falls in the senior category) went out this morning to try, but then I worry a little more because he is a senior. Can’t win. I did try an online pickup order (free for 1st 3 times) and did manage to get eggs (score!). We live in a small town with only one grocery store so that exacerbates the problem. BUT it is so much better than when this first hit…toilet paper is back, dairy is back, some other things are back. So overall doing better and much more upbeat.
Fortunately I have an e-reader and a Kindle account so I haven’t lacked for reading materials! Free library resources and Amazon! This has been awesome during this time.
I would suspect that the microwave culprit is a college student who is used to trying to avoid waking sleeping roommates while making late-night ramen/popcorn. Just a hunch.
My husband does this because he finds it easier to hit the “+30” button for everything even if it ends up with more time than he wants. He doesn’t clear it, and it’s the only clock I can see from the dining table, so it’s extremely irritating. Because during dinner I start counting down to bedtime, I guess :)
TBH that’s how I microwave things too, but mostly because my microwave is stupid and buttons 1-6 are ALL automatic-start buttons (1 minute, 2 minutes, etc) and if you want 45 seconds or something you have to hit extra timer buttons that I can never find.
But if it’s a new annoyance that wasn’t really happening before, I still blame the college kids :)
For books with a touch of magical realism, try Barbara O’Neal (as a bonus, they also center a lot around cooking!). I love Sarah Addison Allen, especially The Peach Keeper. I think Sarah Addison Allen and Alice Hoffman write in a very similar style. Midnight at the Blackbird Cafe by Heather Webber is also wonderful, her Lucy Valentine series is kind of adorable too.
I am foolishly reading The Floating Feldmans by Elyssa Friedland, because how better to cope with being in your house with your family all the time than reading about being stuck on a cruise ship with your family, all the time?
It IS a weird feeling right now; I live in Houston and it reminds me very much of the short window we have before a hurricane hits. We know a hurricane is coming, but we have no idea exactly where it will hit or how bad the damage will be. Will it just blow down a few trees, or will we have city-wide flooding? No way to know, and nothing to do but wait and prepare as best we can. :(
As for grocery stores, if you have a natural-foods grocer or international grocer in your town they might be more likely to have items you need like flour and eggs. The prices may be higher but to me, it’s worth it to get what I need in one trip, plus it leaves the less-expensive selections in the bigger stores for others.
I’ve found that when I try to place an online order, the store says they don’t have the item I want, but if I actually go into the store it’s there. Hang in there, everyone.
Okay, two things!
1) I am choosing to believe the storm isn’t coming. We are doing the thing, it is going to work, I am not going to know anyone who dies because I stayed inside.
2) I am a librarian sitting at home with an Overdrive (LIBBY) slush fund. I WISH i knew what people wanted. If you are a regular user of your public library’s ebook source, I guarantee there is a way to make a request for a needed item to a library in your local community. Reach out! If your librarian is anything like me it would absolutely make her feel better to be able to buy the book you want!
I love LIBBY (Overdrive)! Thank you!
I LOVE my local librarians, and I often request books for purchase (even pre-pandemic). I think something like 99% of them have been purchased.
If anyone else is interested in doing this, if you have online access to your library account, there is a link in mine that says something like make a request and it asks you to fill in info. I usually look the book up on Amazon, so I can get publication date and ISBN. Highly recommend1
I’m simpatico with that last line. I find that reading select news headlines and skimming for the relevant details plus the judicious reading of human interest pieces helps me continue to feel the reality of this without yet having DIRECT experience (although many of my family members are in risk groups or are healthcare workers). I want to stay positive without sounding inappropriately cheerful. I’ve just joined a local crafters group that has made literally thousands of masks for major healthcare Procter’s providers per those providers requests, so I’m hoping contributing will help me strike the right balance of seriousness and can-do attitude.
Delete proctor because what the hell autocorrect
I had to go to CVS today to get a prescription filled and everyone was being very polite and staying far away from each other. But I’m still anxious about it, even though I used the wipes and wore gloves and tried to be very, very careful and washed my hands when I got home. It just sucks.
My husband is one of those savages who doesn’t clear the pause button on the microwave!
I also loved garden spells and was meh on First Frost. I’m not sure if you are wanting more book recommendations but if so I recommend Red, White and royal blue. Delicious fun.
The storm is coming and I am also trying not to panic.
HOLY GUACAMOLE, my stepmom accidentally sent me her 6pack of Jello Instant Sugar-Free Fat-Free Chocolate Pudding. She told me to keep it and ordered another for herself.
I just mixed some of it up, feeling all sorts of doubt about it and it is AMAZING. I mean sincerely delicious and chocolate-y. Not just “diet good” but ACTUALLY GOOD.
I ate SO MUCH of that when I was doing Weight Watchers a decade ago! The kind you have to cook is EVEN BETTER (but makes a bigger mess). If you have Cool Whip or whipped cream to dollop on top, EVEN BETTER. If you have graham crackers to mash up into crumbs and sprinkle on top, BETTER STILL.
OH MY GOD!!
I totally DO have heavy cream I can whip up and graham crackers. THANK YOU!
I don’t know where you live, Swistle, but here at the grocery store they are really enforcing social distancing, giving out wipes for the cart, and hand sanitizer everywhere. They only allow a certain number of people in the store at a time, so easy to social distance. I went this morning and I wore a mask and gloves while shopping. It’s not ideal but it’s okay. Here it seems everyone is very serious about distance, stores are doing extra cleaning, etc. I hope it is similar for you. I’m the only one going out for groceries, in our house, and I scrub my hands like mad when I get home. I’ve cut down on trips in a huge way as well. I hope that helps.
We’ve been having our groceries delivered from Target, but it’s still a bit of a gamble as to whether they will have what I need on any given week. I’ve just started ordering a little of everything every week so if I miss out on TP one week it isn’t a big deal to try again next week. Last week I couldn’t get any kind of paper product or sweetened condensed milk, but I had no problem getting four gallons of milk.
In other news, it has been a real challenge to get any flour these days. I blame all of the “Hey! Let’s make Sourdough” articles in the news these days.
Swistle, do you have grocery stores with online ordering and pickup? That’s what we’ve been doing instead of going into the stores. You pick a date/timeslot then online order then drive over at your scheduled date/time and they put everything in your trunk. It’s getting hard to get timeslots mind you so we’ve had to go longer periods between but it feels safer somehow.
I loved the Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen!!
This was the one I wanted to recommend as well! But I’ve read all of her books. I do think I like the older ones better than the newer titles!
Ooh also I’m rereading my fave Nora Ephron books and I recommend I Feel Bad About My Neck
I just went to the store this morning for the first time in nearly 2 weeks, and it was VERY WEIRD to experience such a previously-mundane activity as Risky and Stressful instead.
Yes.
I have a real need to hit Target. Instead I have decided to download the app and order whatever I need (and is available) and will go to the store, where they will bring it to my car. I have no idea how any of it works, but I’m thinking it must be better than actually going into the store.
The last time I actually was in a store, it felt like I was holding my breath the whole time.
My savage has the uncanny ability to put something in the microwave and let it ding, ding, Ding, Ding, DING, DING, DING and ignore it. It makes me crazy!
I have started limiting my news and social media to twice a day. Yes, this is HARD to stick to, but my mood has improved a bit, and all the news is still there when I read it in scheduled doses.
Also I have been reading more NPR and less Washington Post, CNN, etc. They just seem much more fact-oriented and less hysterical. (Everyone’s mileage/political leanings may vary of course.)
If anyone else has any news sources that are more about news and less about screaming scary headlines maybe we could share?
I’ve been using the BBC News website as my main news source for years now for this reason.
We are exploring grocery delivery, so far mostly with good results although we are learning that at least for now it is important to plan ahead. Also, we have a smallish household (3 adults, 1 kid) so not nearly as many mouths to feed as yours. I know the issue is complicated and that our effect is very small (if beneficial at all) but I am happy to pay someone to do a service task right now, and we are tipping generously.
We haven’t been in a big store in a couple of weeks. I have limited depth perception and the distance issue in groceries stores was leaving me panicked. We have a weekly farm box of vegetables delivered and we had groceries delivered a week ago. The farm box sells other things like chips, eggs, meat, granola but it is more expensive so we try to limit that stuff although I may have included almond croissants with my order this week. Since my husband is teaching from home and no longer has a two hour commute ( so no gas $) and we aren’t eating out at all, it seems like we can afford it for now.
I paid the person who cleans my house once a month and I plan on paying my hair person when I would normally get a hair cut. We live in an expensive city and she’s a single mom. I will probably pay my cat sitter for Easter as we would have gone out of town. The gig economy is so tough under normal circumstances and as a freelancer I feel an extra obligation to take care of people as much as I can who are in somewhat of the same boat as me.
I’m trying to straddle informed/ but not panicked as well. Some days are better than others. Almond croissants help.
I have told the hubs that we WILL make it until Easter on the groceries we have in the house. We’ll see. The princess has been enjoying a daily popsicle snack, and she may “command” that we notice if they run out. It took a pandemic for me to agree to Netflix to the delight of the 6 yo who thought it was “tragic” that we didn’t have it. Like her vocabulary needs to be influenced more by teenybopper royals. We will use curbside pickup…like the royals (Covid germaphobes) we are.
I’ve read 136 pages of Harry Potter ALOUD in two days! Kiddo digs it and it is fun to experience it through her eyes.
We made the hard decision to unenroll the baby from daycare and get on a waiting list for the fall. We notified them that the kindergartener won’t attend this summer. We continue to pay for 3 weeks. Hubs and I need to discuss how much, after that point, we’ll kick in towards the suggested 25% good faith keep the lights on and support us entreaty.
I am operating under the thought that short of medication and TP, nothing is REQUIRED at the grocery store. I mean, food in general is required, but individual items are not. The lack of bananas is not a reason to go to three stores.
You get what you can get and you make do. There is no need to make multiple trips just cause something on the list is not at the store. Sure, meals might get a little weird, but that’s not the end of the world. By the end of this, I will likely be a much more creative cook.
I had to pick up my son’s new glasses at Costco last night. Long story but they lost the first pair. There was a line to get in as they were counting people. I calledthe optical dept and the woman walked them over to me at exit which was super nice as I did not NEED food.
Our college boys are up until 2 am and sometimes loud or dumb enough to wake people up which is annoying.
We’ve been doing grocery delivery, which has been great. Been able to get shelf stable things shipped from BJs too, so have endless beans and such. Turns out my apocalypse snack is fruit snacks, who knew?
Was talking with friends this weekend and we were at the state of someone we knew knew someone who had it. But then earlier this week we found out that my 90 year old great uncle in New York City died from it, so it’s suddenly much closer to home.
There is one (unknown) person at my office who NEVER clears the remaining time on the microwave and it’s really disorienting. The microwave is the only clock in our small office kitchen and when the remaining time isn’t cleared it continues to show the time left and I ALWAYS think that’s the time of day for a moment when it happens. For example, I go to the kitchen at 10:15 am and someone has left 2:23 on the microwave – I immediately think it’s 2:23 pm for a moment. How hard is it to just clear the time??? I guess I’ll add to my list of small silver linings about not being the office these days the fact that I’m never confused about the time of day by our microwave at home…