My best best best Valentine’s Days have been the ones when I was single and spent the evening (either on my own or with a friend) with a pizza and a box of chocolates and some romantic movies. BEST. I was sitting here feeling sorry I couldn’t celebrate it that way and it occurred to me I absolutely could. I think next year I’m going to start that as a family thing: we can get pizza, I’ll get a big box of chocolates to share, and I’ll pick the movie(s).
My wine-and-appetizers group had a Galentine’s Day party, and I super recommend doing that if you have any inclination. A few years ago my aunt said that her life advice to me was to invest time and attention in friendships with women, and that’s another thing I super recommend if you have any inclination. I think there is a lot of emphasis on investing time and attention in romantic relationships, and I’m not saying DON’T do that, but I AM saying I am finding in many ways I get a greater return on investment from time spent with friends.
Anyway: the Galentine’s Day party. A perfect excuse for inviting a bunch of people you’d like to get to know better, if you’re feeling short of friends; or a lovely friendship-affirming party for people who are already friends. Doing it potluck is delightful, because you get to eat all kinds of things, and you know there’ll be enough to eat, and it greatly reduces stress on the hostess. Our group likes to do BYOB, but it would also work well to buy a few great honking bottles of wine in various colors (I recommend emphasizing pink and white varieties, and get at least one fizzy one) and set those out, along with wine glasses. (And/or soda/water with cups, if your group is not as winey as my group, or if it’s a new group and you don’t know how winey they are.)
In unnecessary-but-nice, I like to use this excuse to buy heart plates and heart napkins: at least two plates and two napkins per person. (It’s common for people to use one set for savory and then a second set for sweet.) And put out forks and some serving spoons, because almost for sure people will bring things that need forks and serving spoons. If I think of it, I like to make sure I have the following pantry items Just In Case: bag of tortilla chips, bag of potato chips, box of crackers, extra wine. Every so often someone will bring a dip or spread and have forgotten the chips/crackers, and it’s just nice to be able to casually whip out a bag/box.
Then, especially for a first-time Galentine’s Day party, or for a group that doesn’t all know each other well, I suggest a classroom-style valentine exchange: specify that you are talking about a return to the fun of classroom exchanges, and that the exchange will consist of literally things such as paper Wonder Woman valentines with a Dove Promise taped to them; those paper valentines that have lollipops speared through them; homemade cut-out construction paper hearts decorated with stickers; those Fun-Dip packs with one dipping stick + one flavor of powder; heart-shaped snack cakes; etc. Follow the example of our genius elementary-school teachers and have everyone just fill out the “from” field, not the “to” field, so that everyone can just walk along dropping an item into each waiting box/bag. I had on hand a bunch of heart-covered lunch bags bought on clearance a previous year, but you could ask people to bring an empty (DECORATED??) cereal box or whatever, too, labeled with their name.
Established friend-groups can wing it more with the gifts; setting a price range would probably be a good idea. I am trying to think of some of the things our group has done. Mugs. Pretty shot glasses. Little succulents in hand-painted pots. Bracelets. Hand-made necklaces. Cans of spiked seltzer / mini bottles of booze / those cute little bottles of wine. (Cans/bottles of fancy coffee would work well too.) Pretty little jars full of pink/white/red M&Ms. Little heart-shaped boxes of chocolates. Assorted Valentine’s Day candies with “Happy Galentine’s Day!” stickers on them. Pretty notebooks. Plus, a lot of us like to buy the same kits the elementary school kids use, so there’s a scattering of paper valentines with jelly bracelets, decorative erasers/pencils, temporary tattoos, etc.
Music! I suggest estimating the approximate years the people you’re inviting were in middle school and high school, and making a playlist of popular songs from those years.
Oh this sounds like so much fun! And I deeply wish I could be part of the Swistle Galentine Gang!
About how many people are in your Galentine’s group?
And also, do you think this works better now that your kids are older? I would LOVE to do something like this, but whenever I think about it, I get bogged down in Kid Logistics. When my parents had grown up parties when I was a kid, I do remember being relegated to the upstairs/bedrooms area. But I can’t imagine my particular kid STAYING upstairs if the house were full of exciting grown ups. I also can’t imagine hiring a babysitter and having other people bring their kids; our house is too small and I get too tripped up by the idea that a sitter wouldn’t want to/be able to prevent small ones from escaping if they wanted their moms.
Well. Definitely an idea for Future Me. I love the whole idea.
There are 9 of us, and I’d say our get-togethers are generally 6-8 of us: we don’t try to insist on everyone being there or else we’d never get together, but if it drops to 5 or so, it starts to seem like we ought to find a different evening.
I feel like EVERYTHING works better when kids are older, and we started this gang when all of us had a kid in 8th grade. But if the kids had been younger, the host’s kids would have been taken over to their grandparents’ house or downstairs to watch movies or out for dinner/movie by the dad (so that they wouldn’t be in the way / overhear all the swearing), and the guests’ kids would have stayed home with their respective dads. So no sitters and no big groups of kids to deal with.
My book group is expanding into a more general social group, since sometimes no one wants to read, but everyone wants to hang out. We’re watching a Galentiney movie tomorrow night, drinking wine or soda, and eating snacks. It’s a musical, so we will be singing along. But there will also be plenty of talking and sister-girl time.
I wish I had this in my life! Sadly I have very few friends in the area, and my house isn’t equipped for inviting acquaintances. I need to make more of an effort to turn friendly chats into friendships.
You have a year!
Any recommendations on favorite romantic movies? I love When Harry Met Sally but even that can get old.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Before Sunrise / Before Sunset
…I can’t think of anymore because I fell in a Cinefix vortex: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0c6QZFaRVQ
Oh man those “before” movies are so great. Good call.
Don’t forget Before Midnight, the third one!
It’s set in Greece!
I took a look at my DVD collection and those immediately caught my eye:
– Maid in Manhattan
– Kate & Leopold
– Music and Lyrics
– Shall We Dance?
– The Lake House
All very lovely but also well made and not too shallow, and all with actors I generally enjoy seeing (though Hugh Grant can be very hit or miss for me).
And I want to add “Blow Dry”, because even though it’s not classic romance, there is a lot of plucking of the viewer’s heart strings happening, while also being super funny, and with Alan Rickman in it to boot (among others).
Oh, I forgot a good one: “Young Victoria”
Especially great for all the Emily Blunt appreciators out there (me included), but the movie itself is also just wonderful (and romantic!) and the soundtrack by Ilan Eshkeri is divine. And that’s not something I say lightly. It’s really worth enjoying by itself, it’s almost exclusively instrumental and I often have it on in the background.
This song is called “Marriage Proposal”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj1BKi57Pdg
Here’s a playlist of the whole album:
Alan Rickman?! Sign me up. RIP him, he was so good.
Long ago I liked Better Off Dead, Four Weddings and a Funeral, and My Fair Lady.
What I’m getting out of this is that I need to move much closer to you before next Valentine’s Day. ;)
WOULDN’T that be fun!! A Very Bloggy Galentine’s Day party!!
I feel like Valentine’s Day has spread way beyond just being for romantics and I love that. Like my kids are my valentines as much as my husband is.
Your galentine party idea is superb, and I appreciate the reminder to invest in friendships with women in addition to just family.