I have been so tired and sad recently, and small tasks feel overwhelming, and medium tasks feel impossible. Paul bought me a HappyLight, and set it up right at my desk, and helpfully switched it on, and I am too listless and Novembery to take any of it personally.
I made a bunch of purchases recently that all coincidentally need to be returned, and I am not confident it’s going to happen. It is especially discouraging because each thing was purchased to accomplish something on my overwhelming to-do list, so getting those things done was so satisfying—but now not only do I have to do the returns (I HATE returning things, even when it is easy and uneventful), I have to uncheck all those boxes. Present for impossible-to-buy-for eldest son? Unchecked. Warm cozy vest to help me not be cold every single second? Unchecked. New winter coat in my current size? Unchecked. Second attempt at a new winter coat in my current size? Unchecked. Some cute things for fundraiser care packages? Unchecked. New shoes for Henry? Unchecked.
Also, we scheduled a fall clean-up for today. They were supposed to be here first thing this morning. They have not arrived. They have not responded to texts or calls.
I would like to talk a little bit about my library job, because I am still feeling happy about that. I’ve been there three months. It is definitely getting more boring/repetitive now, but not in a way I mind yet. When I sign up to cover someone else’s shift, I find as the shift approaches I think “Oh, good, I’m going into work tomorrow!” instead of “Ug, why did I agree to cover that shift??”
Guess what? We’re allowed to take any library discards we want! Isn’t THAT a dangerous option to have! And the discards aren’t just old copies of books no one reads anymore, they’re also the half-dozen extra copies of a new popular book we had while the book still had a huge waiting list. So far I have taken home only one discard (the Jincy Willett book The Writing Class, which I talked about here), because (1) I only just found out it was okay to take discards and (2) I am being VERY CAREFUL NOT TO OVERDO IT. (IT WOULD BE SO EASY TO OVERDO IT.)
One of my favorite tasks is going around collecting all the books/DVDs/etc. people requested online. I especially like it when I go to look for an item, and it isn’t there, and then I look somewhere else and don’t find it, and then I look somewhere else and don’t find it, and then I look somewhere else and I FIND IT. I also enjoy sorting out shelf tangles, where something was misshelved and then other things were misshelved because of the misleading misshelved item. Sometimes these two things are combined: for example, today I went looking for a fiction book by Melissa De La Cruz, and it was not with the two other Melissa De La Cruz books, and while looking for it I discovered a shelf tangle (books by Dean had been filed in the midst of the Da_ section, starting a little mini De_ section where it should not be). And then, after I’d looked through all the D’s and hadn’t found the book I was looking for, my eyes fell upon it sitting at the end of a shelf of C’s! …I realize this story loses something in the retelling, so you will have to trust me that the whole thing was exhilarating and fun and satisfying.
Here is a small happy thing: when I am looking for where a book belongs, and I find there is still a gap on the shelf where the book was taken out. It is so pleasing to put the book right back where its gap is waiting for it.
Something else I like about this job is that I’m almost completely unmonitored. It surprised me at first, especially when I was new and it seemed like maybe they should do a little more monitoring. But now it feels like they let me manage my own time, and since I CAN manage my own time, I like this a lot. I can disappear for an hour and no one asks where I’ve been (and if they DID ask, I know I have an answer they’d like). If I’m shelving, and I find a big shelf tangle and it takes me half an hour to sort it out, I don’t have to worry that they’ll think I’m off slacking. They seem to just ASSUME that I will figure out the best way to spend my time—or, at least, that I will figure out an acceptably good way to spend my time. This is in SHARP CONTRAST to most other entry-level jobs I’ve had.
I find I need to use my SAD light for a couple of weeks (half an hour or so a day) for it to really work but it definitely takes the edge off winter. I still prefer spring/summer hugely but I don’t want to hibernate from october to april any more so, worth it I think. I hope it helps you.
I worked as a circulation assistant at the public library for 4 years when i was in high school. I loved it! Shelving is so satisfying.
I used to work in a bookstore, and I can relate to many of the things you like about your library job. Now I have a career job and two kids not yet in school, so I haven’t picked up any shifts in the last few years, but I often think that if there’s ever a time when I’m looking for an enjoyable hobby job, I would go back to the bookstore. (Right now I need a job that can pay the bills, which sadly the bookstore can’t, and I don’t have any extra time anyway because children.)
I love your library story. What a happy thing to so enjoy your job, and a happy thing for them to have someone so motivated and joyful about doing the tasks that need done. <3
November is just awful for the blahs, I feel you! I hope your light shows results soon! Your coat ordering makes me realize that even though it drives my husband nuts, buying four coats at one time was very efficient (from one store, so the return was easy), though I ended up keeping none, NONE of them and had to go to an actual store for the fifth, but successful purchase! BUT it was a store that sold numbered sizes instead of S, M or L – turns out that was key! Also, love the job description, sorting out shelf tangles would feel so productive and satisfying!!
I worked in the large general library stacks at my university when I was a student, and my job basically consisted of reshelving books and scanning shelves to find and fix shelf tangles. It was a very soothing and satisfactory job. Problem solving, clue finding and interesting books.
My library system is a bit dysfunctional when it comes to shelving. There doesn’t seem to be a cohesive system. They will switch genres mid series sometimes- like the Plum series half is in mystery, half is in general lit. It is maddening.
I am writing this from underneath my own Happy Light, which has not yet managed to stave off a severe bout of November despair. The unchecking of checked-off errand/procurement items makes me feel hopeless every single time. Nothing but empathy for you there. And also, I am so envious of your library job that I could perish. I do similar reshelving on a volunteer basis, but it is too infrequent for my taste and often they don’t have that much for us to do. I might need to add some volunteer shifts at the public library to get the full effect of the utterly satisfying and pleasing nature of this work.
As a retired school librarian, all those library chores strikes a happy chord in my heart. How I loved putting books in their rightful place or pulling books for a book display or ordering the current bestsellers or books I felt were absolutely necessary for the library. The very best part of my job was connecting with the students, talking about books and recommending some of my favorites. It was a great job. ❤️
Current school librarian here, who also has to do the library assistant jobs because well, yeah. By HAS to thought I mean GETS to. Detective work with tangible results is like the opposite of the ongoing never-done saga of parenting and housework, and I find library stuff to be a welcome antidote to that existential pain haha.
Oh I’m SO curious if the Happylight will help. I have never considered one but now am thinking it may be just what I need.
Your job sounds like just the kind of satisfying that I enjoy. I used to have a job scanning old files, often with tricky things like receipts or faded old print outs. I used to love turning that pile of rag tag documents into a neat and legible file.
I feel you on the November blues. It’s coming up on Summer here but I’m in the midst of the 4 month sleep regression/baby screaming all night phase with my second and there’s Christmas around the corner.
Despite informing my partner of every single purchase before, during and after the buying process last night he asked me a ton of questions that made it clear he hadn’t been paying any attention to the whole process. It’s pretty disheartening especially considering I’ve even ordered all my own presents and those for his family so he doesn’t have to. I felt pretty hurt.
And I know if I say anything to him he’ll say that we don’t need all that stuff/planned activities/Christmas magic that I bust my gut for. But still he gets the benefit of us having it. Im tempted just to buy him presents that I’ll use seeing as he can’t come up with anything he would like.
Is it possible he doesn’t want a gift? I know there are those who expect a gift, but can’t come up with any suggestions. And if that’s your situation, kudos for not smothering him in his sleep. However, I finally realized that my husband honestly doesn’t want a gift unless he’s thought of something and told me about it. I find it so hard to not put anything under the tree for him, but he really does prefer it. Plus, it makes the years I think of something I know he would want if he knew about it extra fun for me. But, the years there’s nothing on his list and I have no stroke if genius, he doesn’t get anything. He’s happier and so am I. Also, after several years of struggling to buy for his parents (and never getting his mother right) I point blank told him he was responsible for their gifts. I shop for the kids and my family; he can do that much. I don’t shop for myself, but I do create a wish list he can buy from so I might as well. I put my foot down on wrapping my own presents, though. He has to figure that out on his own.
I’ve been trying to decide if I should comment this, because I can’t seem to express it properly, but I’m still trying: Your library chores sound like perpetually unfinished tasks, like when I (briefly) volunteered in the infant room at our daycare and it was just an endless cycle of cry, change, feed, sleep that made me crazy. I’m so glad there are people in the world that find satisfaction in that because I’m not one of them! But I love love love a well-organized library so I’m grateful, and I’m always pleased to hear about people making a great match with their jobs.
Also, I FEEL YOU on unchecking things from the to-do list. It’s November and my kid still doesn’t have new school shoes we can both live with. **facepalm**
YES you should comment it, because this is VERY interesting stuff, especially because one of my OTHER jobs was in the infant room of a daycare!! And I found that job satisfying in a similar way to the library job, even while SEEING how it could definitely seem like the never-ending, never-completed cycle. And one of my library co-workers has made repeated sympathetic comments about how discouraging my job must be because it never ends, and I see what she means, I DO, while also I am feeling perky about oh good more things to shelve, whew, just in time, I was almost running out of things to shelve!
I think I would like creating a specific kind of order via a specific set of tasks somewhere where that was the only thing I had to do.
It would be so different from decluttering at home or at my job, where creating order requires making so many decisions I don’t want to make and doing so many other tasks before something has a final resting place.
YES. I don’t have to decide the order! The order is already decided! I just have to make The Things comply with The Order! I think that is one of the things I find so satisfying, and I hadn’t put my finger on that aspect yet!
I’m glad you’re happy with the library job. It sounds like it suits you perfectly.
I’ve been low most of November, too. I wonder if I need a Happy Light. My sister suggested one.
Have you tried CBD? Is it available where you are? I was skeptical, but it’s really brightened my mood and made fat-to-day life less likely to make me miserable.
Also, do you do Postcards for Voters? It’s an easy way to do activism from your house. Writing a postcard to help a democratic candidate is always good for my soul.
I too have a pile of items to return. Sheesh. I thought the whole POINT of ordering stuff online was to save time/energy, and yet now I have the daunting tasks of seeking out the return info, fretting over possible return shipping fees, repackaging, and taking things to the appropriate shipper. I am even contemplating keeping boots I don’t love because I would rather keep them than deal with returning them. SIGH. Your explanation of it feeling like you are UNchecking an item on the to-do list is spot on.
Your library job sounds fabulous, and I have so many questions! How do you know which tasks to do — was there a list of Swistle Tasks that you got right up front when you started, and those are the only things you work on? Or are there Occasional Tasks that you may encounter? At the end of the day, is everything tidy and put away, or do you just… stop at some point? Does your library still require whisper voices, and, if — like most libraries these days — they do NOT, what is the deal with that? What HAPPENED to the whispering? Why is it no longer important? Is “shelf tangle” a technical term or one you invented (either way, I love it, I am just curious of the origin)? Is there any drama? Behind-the-scenes tension? More library stories may dispel the November blahs, is what I’m saying. It sounds so cozy and friendly and calming and satisfying.
When I first started, they told me the basic structure of my day: first go collect anything in the book drops; then go collect requested materials unless someone else is already doing it; then put away the children’s books; etc. But yes, there are Occasional Tasks: one of the librarians might say “The CDs are a mess; can you sort that out?” or “This whole section needs to be shifted to make room” or “Can you take this list of materials to be discarded and gather them all up?” Ooo, and also I love this: sometimes a librarian will be talking with a patron about something we think is missing and the patron says they returned, and they’ll send me rocketing off to see if it’s on the shelf. Or sometimes I get sent down to one of the locked downstairs rooms with the Master Key to fetch, for example, the October 2008 National Geographic.
At the end of my shift, there is usually still more to be put away, because the stream of returned materials is endless, and because one of my last tasks is to go back out to empty the book drops again. But almost always, I’m leaving it ALMOST done, or at least Much Better Than When I Started, with the piles beaten way back. And: I would THINK I would want to leave with everything empty, but I ONLY like that if it happens to work out that I put the last things away right at quitting time: I don’t like running out of things to do.
Our library too seems to have gotten rid of whispering, though there are a few Quiet Areas where a librarian will come speak to you if you’re talking more than very briefly.
“Shelf tangle” is mine, but I don’t know what it IS called, so this might be a situation where I THINK I invented something, and then someone else uses the term and I realize I reinvented it and/or heard someone say it and incorporated it without realizing. Like when I was saying “There should be a term for a narrator who is unreliable,” and looked up “unreliable narrator” to see what the term was.
YES there is sometimes drama! They are still getting used to me so I don’t usually get to hear about it (plus, I’m usually skipping back and forth across the library so I don’t hear it happen and don’t hear the conversations about it afterward), but I’ll hear SNIPPETS. Also, we have a Praise Board back in the staff area where people can call each other out for being awesome, and sometimes it will have little references to Incidents that sound spicy. And I have overheard a few conversations where a patron is being Quite Odd and a librarian is dealing with it. And people have STARTED to make little references about things to me, like they’re testing me out, so I hear things like that one co-worker has a home life that is Sub-Par and some of the librarians are thinking of forming a librarian posse to Deal With It, but they don’t yet tell me what the specific Sub-Parness is. Like, they are STARTING to include me in the Drama, bit by bit!
I’ve been a librarian for 20 years and I’ve never heard of a ‘shelf-tangle.’ I hearby grant you invented it.
I love EVERY WORD OF THIS and I really hope that there is good/not upsetting/shareable drama in the future.
Oooh! Does your library do “special shelves”? Like… our libraries always have a couple of shelves right at the entryway that have Staff Picks or seasonal books or the like. If your library does that, do you get to participate? And, if not, WHO does it? And do the staff members really all get to pick a book to set up there and who selects the options for the seasonal displays. And I realize these questions are probably very specific to my interests but I am still curious!
OH! Are there things that you thought/expectations you had about Behind the Scenes Library Stuff that turned out to be wrong? Like the whispering thing would be mine… I would have assumed that libraries STILL want you to whisper and Society has ignored it. But it sounds like maybe that’s just not a big deal anymore.
I am also already looking forward to some library-related Hot Tips, of the sort you shared in the past about your work at a pharmacies.
We DO have special shelves!! So far it seems like it’s the librarians who fill them, and I don’t know if that’s an assigned task or if they take turns or what. My job is usually to UNfill them: like, after Halloween, a librarian switched the “Horror Movies” Special Shelf to a “Holiday Movies” Special Shelf, and put the horror movies on my shelving cart. Right now we have a NaNoWriMo writing theme for the special book shelves. I’ve seen staff picks there before, and I’m curious to know if I’ll get to participate the next time we do one of those!
It does seem to me as if the librarians themselves decided not to care about whispering anymore. I’m interested in getting to know more about these things as I work there longer! And yes, HOT TIPS! Already I have one: I used to feel like I shouldn’t put a hold on a book if it was on the shelf, and should only do that if the book was already checked out to someone else and I wanted to get in line, but now I know MANY people enjoy fetching the books, at least at this library, so FEEL FREE to put a hold on a book that’s on the shelf!
Also, I will say this: librarians behind the scenes say more risque things and do more swearing than one might expect, given their prim-and-proper reputation!
A few years ago my library moved the main entrance and staff area (where help is sought, books are returned and sorted, etc.) downstairs to the children’s area. My adorable young librarian friend confided that the old library dragons who had previously resided upstairs in the silent, solemn adult area had absolute fits about being sentenced to henceforth work in the noisy, bustling children’s area. It was such illicit fun to get the inside word on some Drama, without even working there!
I loved your Jincey Willet recommendation. I passed it along to my mom and we read all her books. Loved the quiet sweet story and that started me off into a new genre direction as I’ve tried to read similar books. So thank you – you made an impact on my reading choices!
I am so glad you’re liking the library job. It’s a bright point in the November blues. Coincidentally, my husband ALSO got out his happy light yesterday. You are not alone.
Perhaps you can answer a question for me: If the author’s name is something like Macy Anderson Gray, would she be filed under A or G? And would it be different if the last name was Anderson-Gray?
It depends on whether Anderson is the author’s middle name or last name (it gets filed under A if Anderson is part of the surname, but under G if Anderson is the middle name), but it also seems to depend on Thing I Don’t Know Yet, because there are some authors that are filed in ways I would not expect. Like, sometimes if an author writes under two different names (like J.K. Rowling, who also writes as Robert Galbraith), her books will be filed under those two different names; and other times, all her books will be together under one of the names, and I don’t know who decides that but it is Very Intriguing to me. It is lucky for me that every book has a sticker that tells me where to file it.
Oh! Another confusing thing is names like De La Cruz: apparently this is up to individual libraries (? not sure), but SOME libraries treat it as if it were DELACRUZ and file it that way, and OTHER libraries would treat it as if the surname were De and file it THAT way! And apparently our library USED to do it the second way and NOW does it the first way, so SOME books are still mislabeled (like with “DE” instead of with “DELACRUZ”), which can create shelving issues.
Similarly, in the popular DVD section where we shelve by title, does “She’s” count as if it is “SHE S” or as if it is “SHE IS” or as if it is “SHES”? (It’s like it’s SHES.) Does “Dr. Doolittle” get shelved like “DR” or like “DOCTOR”? (It’s like it’s DR.) I thought I knew how to put things in alphabetical order until I started this job and discovered I had some gaps!
This is seriously so interesting.
How do you learn this? Paying attention… or is there some sort of filing “style sheet” that explains it?
I had to ask a lot of questions at the beginning—and it was embarrassing because I felt like they were going to think I didn’t know how to alphabetize anything after all!
It sounds like there isn’t much downtime at your job. If there were though you could offer to put together a style sheet kn these sorts of unwritten protocols so future employees would have a reference guide.
Ooh, ooh, I am a librarian and I can answer some of your questions. What you are talking about- official name and titles- is called Authority Control. Is that Orwellian, or what? The point of authority control is to make items findable, by standardizing the information (author(s), title, subjects) associated with the item. So in the online catalog, a book by “Robert Galbraith” should also have the name JK Rowling in the record, and searching Joanne Rowling should bring her up as well. As for the stickers on the actual books, as you said, your library may have changed its practices over the years (De La Cruz vs Delacruz), and the official practices may have changed, and sometimes those stickers are put on the books by the publisher/supplier and they may have changed their practices. So… it’s complicated, and not perfect, but we can mostly find the books we want when we want to.
Ooh library job! Sometimes when I am at our library (as a patron), I will walk the shelves just to see if there is an interesting book that catches my eye. Sometimes I will spot something blatantly out of order, or something just not quite right. I used to tell the librarians, not as a complaint, but more of “this drives me crazy”, but now they just let me fix it. (I am careful to be sure I understand the logic of why it might be there first, but when an E is with a G, I know that needs to be fixed). It sounds fun!
A happylight sounds terrific; I certainly could have used one of those when I lived in Seattle, but now in Colorado we get way more sunshine. Except at my work desk…no windows. Hmm, Christmas present list maybe.
I am afire with curiosity as to why all those things are having to be returned and unchecked! They can’t all be sizing issues, can they?
One is sizing—and furthermore, a dumb mistake in sizing where I knew perfectly well Rob wears a large but somehow bought him a medium. The first coat was too long (mail-ordered, so not tried on). The second coat I learned my lesson and tried on in a store, but both Paul and Elizabeth were like “MEH,” and Paul does not usually weigh in on my clothes except to say they’re cute, so it influenced my feelings about the coat, and then Elizabeth said it was a hi-lo coat and I saw that she was right and it was ruined for me. The cute things for the care packages weren’t as cute in person, and/or the colors were not what I’d expected, and/or they seemed like they took up too much of the care package budget. Two shirts arrived and were made of a gross fabric I hadn’t expected. And the cozy vest was too big and too long, even though I bought my usual size. And Henry’s brand-new shoes split right open after a few weeks, so now I have a particularly embarrassing return to make (though I see on the website MANY complaints about them splitting, so perhaps customer service will be familiar the issue). URG!!
Do you track care packages? How invested are you in their arrival?
I love sending care packages, but the Post Office’s ability to deliver things on the schedule that I am paying for is pretty dismal.
But assembling and boxing up and shipping off! So much fun! Until the carefully tracked losing!
It depends. If I print a label online, then I click the little box that lets me ask for notification when it’s delivered. If I hand-write the address and pay at the post office, then I save the receipt so I CAN check the tracking—but then I forget to. Either way, I fret that maybe it wasn’t delivered, or that it will say it was delivered but it got STOLEN OFF A PORCH or whatever. I would be Extremely Sad if one was lost.
Oh that is a rather daunting list of imperfect purchases!
Not to badger you, but what is a hi-lo coat?
Like the hi-lo skirt/shirt fashion: shorter in the front, longer in the back.
I ‘m happy to hear you mention collecting items put on hold as a favorite task. I am a very frequent user of the hold option, and I’ve worried that I’m driving the library staff crazy.
My mom worked at our local library for 30+ years and just retired last summer. She started out like you and ended up the reference librarian in charge of ordering books. I am loving your stories! Also, I know from personal experience, that the loudest people in the library, are the librarians.
Oh GOD how I hate returning things. I also hate when you think you have something accomplished and you don’t because you have to uncheck the box. I FEEL YOU.
I recently gave up two classes at my least-liked studio and honestly, it was the best decision ever. All my other studios give me that “yay, I’m teaching today” feeling and that one most certainly did not. One of the factors was a crazy drive, bad traffic, winter conditions…but this is the first week without it and I AM HAPPY. So I totally get that feeling!
November is such a dark pool of suck and I have actually been doing okay but today I feel absolutely pancaked by fatigue and despair. I love your shelf tangle story, especially because often when I notice one I don’t actually have time to untangle it because I’m on alone and Various Other Responsibilities have to take precedence, so it soothes me to think of someone being able to follow one to its end. And I vehemently agree about returning things, and the second winter coat thing almost makes me want to cry, as well as the present for the difficult to buy for child. And now i am seized with fear that the pillowcases I bought today are going to turn out to be king size instead of queen and I will have to return them.
After agonizing for weeks I finally ordered my two girls shoes. They arrived this morning. This afternoon I got an email from the company that the shoes are $40 off. $40. FORTY!?! What in the world! If this was amazon I would put them back in the mail and just order again, but this is a small company and I don’t really want to send the shoes across the country when they are already RIGHT HERE. But, phone calls. And ugh. I just want to weep.
I feel like this November is the pit of despair. Maybe I do need a happy light.