I wrote a long post about where I was right now (children’s hospital) and why I was there (Edward sinus infection), and when I proofread it later, I noticed it was very boring. So I re-wrote it and made it a lot shorter, hoping that that would reduce the boredom if only by reducing the bulk, and I was also very charming about how much I like being in hospitals. Then I hit post, and that is when WordPress, which is what I used to write this blog, asked for my password, and I gave it, and when I had entered the password, it brought me to the old version of the post. Usually when this happens (why does it ever, EVER happen???), I can get the other post back. This time, nothing worked. I am starting to feel as if the universe is trying to protect you from a long boring post and/or a post in which I brag about my own charm.
I will SUMMARIZE why we are here, as I did in the SECOND version, the version that was lost. Friday night Edward seemed ill and had a fever. Saturday morning I took him to Urgent Care, and the doctor said it was a sinus infection and prescribed an antibiotic. Tuesday I called the pediatrician to say he was no better, and they gave me an appointment that morning, and at that appointment they sent us to the Emergency Room. The Emergency Room did a CAT scan and labwork, and sent Edward by ambulance to the children’s hospital in the nearest big city, and he started IV antibiotics. Wednesday evening Edward had surgery to get stuff out of his sinuses. Today we are seeing how that went and whether he will need a second surgery. We have been here for two nights and will be here for at least a third night.
Boy, that is still pretty long. You will have to take my word for it that the original version gave that same information (plus more detail than anyone would want about which doctors we saw and what his symptoms were and the entire evolution of the treatment plan) in triple the words.
I will now tell you some reasons you might want me as your hospital companion, and I will try not to be as obvious about my own charm. …No, I have tried several drafts, and there is no way to do it. I am just very charming about hospitals. Except: there is a shower in our room, and I don’t know if I’m allowed to use it or if it’s just for the patient, and I’m too shy to ask, and there are no towels so I can’t just sneak one, and also there are people coming into the room continually but unpredictably, so I feel as if the MOMENT I stepped into the shower, an entire team of medical professionals would arrive. And a person might think, “Well, of COURSE you are allowed to use the shower! That is what it is THERE for!”—except that when I stayed in the maternity ward long ago, the nurses were Very Strict about the room’s bathroom being ONLY for the patient, NOT for guests. And it wasn’t just the shower: guests were not allowed to use the toilet, either. Guests were supposed to use the bathroom down the hall. And “guests” included the baby’s other parent. So I think it is VERY POSSIBLE that this shower is only for Edward, and that’s why there are no towels in there, because he cannot shower yet. And you may well sigh with impatience about my reluctance to JUST ASK, WHAT IS THE HARM IN ASKING, but you KNOW staff can get a little snippy about things like that, you KNOW they can. Like, SOME of them will say really nicely, “Oh, I’m sorry, the shower is only for patients!” and seem genuinely understanding and regretful about it, but OTHERS of them will act as if you’ve suggested violating HIPAA in there.
(More about this sinus infection if you’re wondering “Wait, how did a sinus infection lead to hospitalization?”)
Oh my goodness, I hope he is able to be released soon! That’s a lot to go through in a short time.
My one postpartum shower experience was not great, so I’m on the side of swapping out parents to go home and shower where everything is exactly as it should be.
When any place has a policy excluding use of facilities, I always figure it’s a cost-cutting measure. More use equals more cleaning expense in the short term and more replacement cost in the long term to the bean-counting types. I vote we put them in charge of beans only and leave hospitality to people who care about people.
Wait until your favorite nurse is on shift, and just say “Oh! Where would I find the towels?” While the child is obviously the patient, in my experience, childrens’ hospitals are typically very accommodating to the parent who is staying over, and it is a reasonable expectation to be able to shower. As for timing, I found that after the evening shift change rounds was a good time to pop in the shower. Doctors are less likely to stop in, and the nurse will usually be checking in with other patients for at least 15-20 minutes.
Hope E is on the mend, and no further surgery is needed.
I’m sorry E is so ill. I hope he is on the mend soon.
I came here to express that children’s hospitals are generally accommodating to adult needs since kids not in ICU are likely accompanied by an adult guardian. And I concur with Sarah regarding the how and when.
Sarah wrote what I was thinking. You might even ask an orderly, or housekeeping, as they are generally accomodating about towels and linens, especially if you’re changing them out yourself. Evening shift change is the best time, especially right after they’ve taken E’s vitals (they tend to stay away for a while after that). Also, it’s a children’s hospital, and most all of them have a place for family to shower and rest and such.
Love this sensible and practical advice.
Just here to say I’m so sorry you and Edward have to be there at all, and hope he can go home very soon!
I’m so sorry to hear this! Last month I had my first ever hospital experience with my 12 year old son. (Sudden unexplained seizure, I called 911, went by ambulance to the Children’s Hospital). I felt weird about the shower too, but since we lived only 15 miles away someone could stay with him while I ran home to shower, get him some shoes, his iPad, etc. I can see how you could not do that as easily if you are far away. I found that the nurses and other staff were all really, really kind and accommodating. The rooms were large and private and the couch was already made into a bed with blankets and a pillow when we got in (at 3 am). I would definitely sneak a shower in though- maybe wait until Paul or someone else is there to guard you? I hope he feels better and you get to go home soon!
Paeds doctors from the UK here – at least at our hospitals, the whole “toilet is for patients only” thing is an infection control issue – the idea is that you don’t want to be spreading germs between patients, visitors and staff. When you’ve just had your hoohah ripped apart by your lovely new baby, the last thing you want is to be sharing a toilet seat with the doctor who has just seen another patient or the visitors who’ve just got off a public bus. I guess it’s a slightly different situation as most British mums on the postnatal ward won’t usually be in a private room with an en suite, but the same principles apply.
On our paeds wards, the parents of kids in bays have designated parent bathrooms. However, if you’re in a side room, the toilets and showers in your room are considered to be for the patient and parent – since you’re living in the same room, your germs are already all up in each other’s business, so not as much need to separate. Since you’re expected to stay with your kid, there should absolutely be a shower available for you somewhere on the ward and don’t let anyone make you feel inconvenient for asking to use one. In fact, as someone who has walked into a fair few stanky hospital rooms in my time, I would encourage! 😉
Sorry, long post, but our healthcare systems are so different that it’s rare I feel like I can offer a useful insight! We do medicine very differently, but germs are germs!
Oh my gosh — I hope Edward is better soon! Also, I wonder the same thing about the patient bathroom (I still use it though). And I would never think a post of yours was too long, or boring — I love long blog posts!
So sorry you’re going through this, Swistle! I’m glad you are coping well. If you need a way to ask without asking, just say “I need to figure out where to shower, what’s the protocol on this floor?” to literally anyone on the floor, the desk clerk, the nurse manager, the custodian, whoever intimidates you least, and they’ll tell you!
Hugs
Seconded. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My 9 yo daughter has had several stays at our big-city children’s hospital, and the staff have always been quite accommodating.
I’m here to chime in to agree wholeheartedly with Sarah. My experience with my children at the hospital has been that the staff expects and accommodates the needs of the parent staying with the patient. So, my guess is that even if that particular shower is not for your use, there is a shower somewhere nearby that is for you. I’d mention it to the nicest nurse you have that you’d love to take a shower and can he or she direct you as to how that can happen. I promise this isn’t the first time they’ve been asked this.
When my son was staying overnight in the hospital I was also nursing his baby sister. When it became clear we were not going to be able to leave the hospital and I’d need to pump they told me I’d have to go to the baby floor and get set up in one of their pumping rooms. His nurse went down there and snuck me a pump so that I wouldn’t have to leave him while I took care of that business. It was sweet. So, my guess is that even if you’re not technically allowed to use that shower, a nice nurse would cover for you.
That story is beautiful. Wasn’t it Mr. Rogers who said, “whenever you’re afraid, look for the helpers.”
If you aren’t allowed to take a shower in the room, I would think there like be facilities in the hospital somewhere (similar to those in large international airports). If you are uncomfortable asking the nurses, I would see about reaching out to the information desk at the hospital.
Oh my gosh, I hope Edward gets to go home soon! Based on my spouse-of-a patient experience, I would recommend just asking a friendly staff member, when you have a chance, where you might find some towels. You don’t even have to say “so I can take a shower.” In my case, the nurse seemed charmed by my willingness to obtain things myself, and the linen cabinet happened to be across the hall from us anyway. In fact, if you happen to find said cabinet, I would just go for it. Good luck!
So sorry you are going through this. I hope he is better soon and you are heading home!
Maybe ask it assuming you can’t use the shower “I assume the shower is for patients only. Is there another area in the hospital where parents can shower?” because as others have said, children’s hospitals are usually really accommodating.
I saw your update on Twitter and just wanted to say: I’m glad you got a shower, I’m glad the nurse was nice, I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to ask even though it was hard. I’m really sorry E is sick and am sending him my best wishes for a speedy recovery – and you my best wishes for strength and peace, because I know the scary stuff is harder on the moms than it is on the kiddos most of the time.
I’m so sorry E is I’ll, glad you are with him and got a shower
I hope that Edward recovers quickly!
As a data point: when my son was hospitalized I had the same shyness about using the shower. When I finally got the nerve to ask a particularly friendly and helpful staff member, she said “of course!”, then brought me towels and a little prepackaged bag of mini shampoo soap etc.
My son had several long hospitalizations back in 2017 and I used the shower in his room almost every day. It was miserable because of the constant in-and-outing of staff but also so necessary! If it helps at all I empower you to ask for some towels (I always had to). They keep them locked up to try and reduce unnecessary laundry. If you have a nurse you like more you could even ask her to keep an eye on the room for 10 minutes and prevent visitors/drop ins. Good luck! Hope he rallies quickly.
Oh no! I hope Edward is back in fine fiddle (fettle?) (why am I using this expression?) quickly! Thinking healing thoughts in your/his direction.
Glad to see that you got a shower (via Twitter). Hoping that Edward is on the mend!
Oh no! I am so sorry to hear about E and hope he will recover and heal very quickly. I’m among those who saw on Twitter that you had gotten a shower, so am glad for that.
I hope E is on the mend. I hope you are managing as best as you can when you are a) caring for a sick child b) sitting in a hospital c) thinking about all of the things involved in both of these circumstances.
Best wishes to all of you.
Holy cow. We’ve had some major sinus infections in our allergy laden family, but none that required re-direction to the ER, much less a hospitalization and surgery. That must have been one awful sinus infection. I hope he’s feeling better now and that you’ve gotten some sleep.
When I was a kid I was sick a lot. Like an abnormal amount. Like someone would probably call child services now to make sure I wasn’t being munchausen-ed. ANYWAY, my mom spent a crazy amount of time at the hospital with me, and she told me that in the children’s ward nurses tend to be more understanding. They used to let her use the nurses/doctors showers because I wasn’t in a private room but an actual ward. Just ask the nurses if there is somewhere in the hospital or nearby where a parent can take a quick shower because you don’t really want to leave him for very long. They will either say to just use the shower or give you an alternative.
I hope he is home again soon! In the meantime, as a nuse and as the parent of a child who has been hospitalised, I’m certain you can use the shower. You aren’t a visitor! You’re his caregiver. If you are worried about the towel thing, can you ask Paul to bring in a towel from home for you?
The hypochondriac in me is desperate for the long version as I had no idea sinuses could need surgery to have things extracted from them. Hope you both are home and well and showered by now!
I might resemble this as well @BRash!
Hopefully Edward mends quickly and you don’t have to be there much longer! We’ve been inpatient at least a dozen times in the past two years, in several different hospitals, and my experience has been that when they don’t want anyone but the patient to use the bathroom they are very, very vocal about it and make sure everyone knows. When they’re happy for parents to shower and use the toilet in the room they usually don’t even bother mentioning it.
Swistle, I’m so sorry that E had to have surgery. Wishing him a good recovery and you some rest. Glad to hear you were able to get a shower. Sending good vibes for health.
“why don’t you just ask?” Is what everyone on the planet has wondered about me at some point and I do not know why I don’t/can’t) won’t just ask so I FEEL you. I would rather ask the internet.