I have had a very! busy! week or so, and it continues busy into the near future, but this particular day is non-busy.
I spent the weekend with some of my favorite people and we had a great time and stayed up late and I drank what might be called too much of a very yummy box rosé that was exactly the right thing for early summer.
I had to leave early the next day because I was taking William to an orientation session at his new college, and it had a separate optional parent orientation that I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to but then I decided what the heck, sounds like it could be fun. And it WAS fun: I got to sleep in a dorm room and eat in a college dining hall, and I got a soft-serve ice cream cone after both lunch and dinner each day, and there were walking tours of the surrounding city, and I met a ton of friendly parents and a few really annoying ones (“Um, I have a question about students in the HONORS program? I just want to say HONORS program a few times so that everyone realizes I must have an HONORS student?”), and there were some soothing informational presentations and some very funny ones, and also there was an “ask a student anything” seminar where parents were clearly venting some last-minute panic (one asked if we would be allowed to stay overnight in our students’ dorm rooms; another asked where the students would pick up their mail, which is not something parents need to research). I was reminded yet again of how much WALKING and STAIRS are involved in anything to do with college. I am still sore.
We returned late on one day, and the next day early I had to bring Elizabeth a couple of hours away to one of the bigger cities where people in our small town have to go to see most medical specialists. This was for her scoliosis: she’s been wearing the brace for awhile, and this was a check-in appointment to see how that was going. They asked her not to wear her brace the night before, and then she had an x-ray of her spine out of the brace, and an x-ray of her wrist; the one of her wrist was to check to see how close she is to being done growing, because once she’s done growing the brace won’t do any good.
And the x-rays showed good news. We had been warned that the brace was only to prevent the curve from getting worse, and that it most likely would not reduce the curve; we could hope for it to do so if we wanted to, but we shouldn’t be disappointed if it didn’t, because that was not the goal. But it HAD reduced the curve, from something in the high twenties to something in the mid-to-high teens. The doctor was in a celebratory mood over it. He said she should keep wearing the brace, but it would probably only be for another six months or so: the wrist x-ray showed she had just finished some rapid adolescent growth (she’s taller than me now, and I’m 5’8″) and was probably very close to being done growing. We’ll go back in six months and see how things look.
Then I had a get-together with another group of favorite people, my wine-and-appetizers group. I made Emily’s Party Bread, without the poppy seeds (I didn’t have any) and with some extra garlic and with parmesan liberally applied after everything else, and it was very good and I ate a whole lot of it along with personally consuming nearly an entire bottle of chardonnay over the course of the evening (I got a ride home), and it was a wonderful time and I highly recommend this “friends” thing if you haven’t checked it out recently.
Today all I have to do is take Henry for his allergy shot. He’s been getting weekly shots for eight months now, and I am not sure they are helping at all. If the allergist were to say “OMG. I just realized I have been giving him the totally wrong shots!! This stuff is for allergies he doesn’t have!!,” I would completely believe it. But the ENT doctor was pleased with the reduction of swelling/color inside his nose, so I guess the shots must be working to some extent. We persevere in part because with allergy shots there is the potential for permanent allergy reduction even after the shots are long over, and I had that happy result myself after getting shots for a couple of years, and so my hope is that what he’s doing is habit sniffing (he is prone to tics, as is his eldest brother) and that the actual allergies ARE being reduced, and then we will only have to work on the habit sniffing, which may self-extinguish please god otherwise it is going to drive us insane.
Another upside of the shots is that he is now completely chill about getting shots. He used to get very, very anxious before his annual flu shot, and he says he is looking forward to not being anxious about it this year.
Next up is Edward’s Remicade infusion, which takes us all day. Most of the time is travel (it’s another trip to a big and distant city), but there is also a very long time waiting for the hospital pharmacy to mix the medication, which they won’t do until the IV is in place, because the medicine is so expensive. I have never worked in a hospital pharmacy, but I have worked in a regular retail pharmacy, and that experience does not give me insight as to why it usually takes two full hours for the pharmacy to mix the medicine. I do know a pharmacy can get very backed up, but at 8:30 in the morning it is hard to understand how they could be THAT backed up, while a child sits with an IV in place waiting for medicine. And I know that an unusual medication can take extra time while the pharmacist looks into the correct mixing methods, but this infusion takes place in a clinic that does 1-3 Remicade infusions per day, so this is routine for this location. One nurse said jokingly that the pharmacy staff hates her and that’s why they make us wait; at first I took this as a total joke, but recently I’ve been wondering if a feud could indeed be the explanation. More likely, though, the explanation is far, far simpler: understaffing. At the pharmacy where I used to work, we were run off our feet and desperately trying to reduce wait times, and then management would come in and say please cut 20 staff hours per week, and then we were down to one technician on a Saturday morning, and giving one-hour wait times we still couldn’t meet. So. That’s probably it for the hospital pharmacy too, and I should feel sorry for them instead of critical.
THEN, this weekend I have to go pick up Rob. I don’t have a satisfying explanation for what I am about to tell you, which is that his summer job (which was through his college though not with his college, and included room and board at his college) turned out to be some sort of scam at worst or mistake at best; the students are currently helping administration with an investigation into what happened and HOW it happened. He worked for four weeks, and won’t be paid for that time, and meanwhile he has missed out on other possible summer jobs. The college is apologetic, and they say the students won’t be asked to reimburse for room/board because it wasn’t the students’ fault, but also could they please leave by the end of the week. I am so disappointed for Rob, and also feeling frantic about his chances of finding another summer job, and also feeling upset at the four weeks of lost income: we are about to have TWO kids in college, and every dollar feels very very important. Well. Nothing to be done about it, and I will enjoy the road trip, and I am very much hoping at some point there will be some details helpful to understanding this situation.
Rob called and told me this news while I was at William’s college orientation. I was between dinner (chicken-and-rice! tater tots! fruit cup! diet Coke with good crushed ice! soft-serve cone!) and a walking tour of the surrounding city. And Paul was texting me questions like do I know where we put the 25-foot plumbing snake, no reason, just asking, and also was Elizabeth’s guidance counselor appointment at the middle school or at the high school? (They went to the middle school; the appointment was at the high school. Also the kitchen sink was badly clogged again, because Paul put all his salsa-making trimmings down the disposal. Which is exactly what badly clogged the sink LAST time.)
Oh my gosh. The getting bad news thing while a bunch of other stuff is going on is absolutely the worst. I’m so sorry about what happened at Rob’s college! That’s horrible. I’m desperate to know more details, as I’m sure you are. Also I feel like you must feel like you’re an old pro at this whole kids going to college thing because we’ve heard so little about William going to college! I’m happy for you but sad for me to miss out on your writing on it.
I am also desperate to know more details. This just sounds so f’d up.
Well my gosh, that is indeed a frothy mix of good and bad!
I have had clinic experiences where they wanted the patients in a holding pattern because they overbooked, and another where the doctor was always unapologetically late (hours late) but you had to be ready when he did get there. There are so many factors behind the scenes, and patients’ time, much less caregivers’ time, does not even matter in how this plays out. It’s galling, but when you need the treatment, you have to make that sacrifice in this country.
I feel like Rob may not have his pick of jobs, but there will surely be something. Is he open to being a pet sitter or babysitter in the evenings? People always seem to be looking for that a lot in the summer and maybe he can make up for the lost time with some of that. I’m on a FB moms’ group for my school district, so I see this. Families like to hire college kids because they can drive themselves and are responsible.
I was going to say this. Our Next Door page always has people looking for one-off jobs — spmeone to help move a sofa, someone to weed for $20/hour before an open house — and brief commitments that aren’t a full job but pay pretty well, such as camp pickup or dog walking.
Sidesnark: Good job there, Paul.
Agreed! We have paid / are currently paying out much ad hoc money to local highschool/college students to: mow our lawn; weeding; spreading mulch; power wash our siding; babysit our children ($$$$$$$$$); and i would pay that many $$s + a few more if one of my babysitters could pick the kids up from daycare and bring them home for me. We’d be throwing money at dog walkers now if we still had a dog too, I expect..
SO BUSY. But much of it sounds good (outside of the Remicade hoopla and the college scam). Which – I know you clearly and up front stated you didn’t have a satisfying explanation, but WHAT?! I am so curious and also outraged on Rob’s behalf – a surprise! you don’t actually have a job! surprise is really terrible, especially when there is no recourse to make him whole!
Hoping he finds an excellent summer job at home.
I keep thinking of more pertinent questions to ask him, and in almost every case his answer is “I TOO WONDER THIS.”
Well, the Rob situation sounds upsetting and stressful and displeasing. I hope he finds a good summer job at home for all of your sake and everyone’s sanity.
I always find it so interesting when you write about your experience working for a pharmacy!
So, Rob and William are attending different colleges? Is that EASIER or HARDER? What if ALL 5 OF YOUR CHILDREN attend different schools? I love the college stuff. Ava is attending a soccer camp at my alma mater in a few weeks and I will get to eat at the dining hall. I CANNOT WAIT.
I think it is harder. William was torn until the last minute between this school and Rob’s school, and I was thinking how very very nice it would be to go pick them up together, and have the same vacations, and I would know already what drop-off would be like, and I already know the campus a little, and so on. BUT—I was still glad when he chose this school, because he seemed like he preferred it, and I was worried he wouldn’t choose it just because the other path was easier. And now that he’s chosen it, I AM enjoying some of the different-school things, like getting a new decal for the car and a new college coffee mug!
I LOVE COLLEGE DINING HALLS SO MUCH. Does yours have soft-serve? I feel like they all have soft-serve.
The bulk of my “freshman 15” (err…20?) was from dining hall ice cream. Those were the golden years of two ice cream cones a day, every day. I miss you, Knollcrest Dining Hall ice cream bar.
Oh my gosh, ALL of my freshman year weight gain was from the unlimited soft-serve WITH TOPPINGS which included hot fudge and butterscotch and Oreos. It also took me until MUCH later to realize that the reason I got horrid, massive stomach cramps so often that year was because I was lactose intolerant.
On the topic of William’s preferred college- good on you for giving him space to make his choice. I imagine he may have felt obligated to follow Rob to make things easier for you, whether or not you discussed it. I think my sil just did this- she chose to follow her brother to college. Now, their college is a very good one, with a sufficiently big name that it will help her in the future whether or not it is a good choice for her now. But I worry that she chose it to oblige her (widowed) mother (my step mil)… well. Life is full of choices. Have the ice cream!
My parents had six children attending five different colleges, and it’s definitely an adventure. I will say, they were pretty hands off (we always filled out our own FAFSA, they only dropped us off at the beginning of each year, we were on our own after that, etc.) But we all made it work.
Perhaps part of the students “helping” the administrators find out about the job problem should include pointing out that not paying employees for four weeks of work is illegal. And they could get in major trouble with their state board of employment for it. I am livid on his behalf.
YES, THIS. It’s completely illegal.
Wait, so…Rob worked for four weeks without getting paid? That’s definitely illegal. Even if they can’t continue to employ him, they have to pay him for the hours he already worked. And now they’re asking the students to give up even more of their time to help figure out what went wrong? That’s ridiculous.
It is a little complicated, apparently: the employer was not the college per se, but a start-up using college resources. Which then I guess turned out to be fraudulently obtained? Or something? We are really not sure what happened or HOW it happened, and neither apparently is the college. I DO HOPE THEY WILL FIND OUT A LITTLE MORE.
If nothing else, perhaps the college could grant internship credits to the students who were scammed for 4 weeks worth of work!
Gasp!! That is shocking and galling and I would be INDIGNANT on my college student’s behalf.
Silver lining it as a learning experience at LEAST?
I personally hope that one of the other students in the same situation as Rob has a parent who is outspoken, litigious, determined, and done with BS and will spur the college to make this right.
I’m so sorry about Rob’s job situation. Do I recall you had some doubts about it from the start? As someone else suggested, maybe the college can pave the way toward rebranding it as an unpaid internship so at least he can put it on his resume.
What the other folks said about the illegality, and the suggestion of the unpaid internship, but also I think you (or, better yet, Rob) can suggest that the college itself is somewhat culpable for having failed to VET the folks that used their resources and should, at the very least, give a discount on tuition equivalent to what they should have gotten paid.
Yes i totally agree! I work for a college and this would be very unacceptable. Not only all the financial repercussions etc, there is also the school’s reputation when this gets out. I would get to the bottom of it quickly!
**Not your lawyer, but am a lawyer. Not giving legal advice. But… research the school’s chief legal counsel’s office and send them a pointed. letter. very. pointed.**
This would be the job that unironically suggested watching “The Social Network” as prep? I assume the startup thought they’d get away with it rather than knowing it’d implode in a month, but generally, working for people who think they’ll get away with things: not a good time.
Anyway, at least he will be less likely to be burned by skeezy startups in the future! Maybe! (startups are not all skeezy; they are all risky, though, and a sense of loyalty can keep people beetling away at painting a sinking ship, so having an object lesson in this may actually work to his advantage; he wasted four weeks, but he *only* wasted four weeks, not years, and his savings weren’t invested in it, etc.)(and a lot of them *are* skeezy; many are just get-rich-quick schemes, and those do not tend to go hand-in-hand with really solid ethics)
I hope he finds a good job for the rest of the summer! And hope they can turn it into an internship somehow! (also: glad the college isn’t making him pay for lodging, although really, they absolutely *shouldn’t* – but still, there are lots of things that absolutely “shouldn’t be” about this situation, so there being one fewer than there could be: maybe good.)
For Rob:
I’m not sure how it is where you live, but where I grew up, I signed up with 5-6 temp agencies every summer and got a decent amount of work that way.
Not on the money-earning front, but– for freshman and sophomore years, I also took some summer community college classes that counted towards requirements at my regular college. Those summer classes allowed me to knock out some prerequisites over the summers, giving me more freedom to pick classes during the regular school year. I graduated in 4 years with two majors and a minor. Distance learning wasn’t a thing when I was in college, but Rob may be able to do something similar using distance learning if the nearest community college isn’t useful. (It would cost you money, not save any, but it could help with the keep-him-busy thing you talked about back when you were talking about the advantages of the job. And it could save you something long-term if it speeds up his graduation date.)
I was also going to suggest temp agencies. I worked for them every summer during college and the pay was quite good. The hours were regular. And, it was interesting exploring different types of offices/companies.
As a college administrator, I am AGOG about Rob’s situation (and also wondering how long it will take for it to show up on Inside Higher Ed). I guarantee the college’s legal counsel is already on it and wondering about damages to college reputation as well as institutional liability. I’m assuming (though I don’t know why) that he is at a private college. If he is at a public, any contracts between the college and the start-up should be subject to freedom of information act requests and might make for fascinating reading…
Is it possible the pharmacy staff is bribeable? Like drop off a dozen donuts saying “we’re in for my child’s infusion and I noticed it always takes 2 hours AFTER he’s had the IV placed. I used to work in a pharmacy so I know that means you guys must be understaffed so I thought you could use a treat” la la la, not requesting anything at all here…
Morally a little sketchy. But maybe worth a shot?
Donuts are never morally sketchy.
Hey, I feel like we overlooked Elizabeth’s awesome news in the midst of the Rob outrage! Hooray for Elizabeth and her improvement! What a fantastic outcome and timeline! So happy for you guys!
I came back to say this after I had cooled off about Rob’s situation! Hooray for Elizabeth! Six months is great news!
So my daughter’s hockey team often plays at the local university rink during the winter and we’ve discovered the wonder that is the Residence Cafeteria. Non-students pay a flat fee at breakfast or lunch (the only times she has games) of about $11 Canadian (under $9 USD I guess?) per person, and it includes all you can eat EVERYTHING and caters to all allergies and diets. Vegetarian? Vegan? Gluten-free? Egg allergy? Nut allergy? No problem. It also includes all beverages including things like juices, lattes, lactose-free milks, non-dairy milks, etc.
And yes, there is ice cream. Soft serve AND hard ice cream!
AND it is locally-sourced as much as possible, and zero-waste as everything is composted and the plates, cutlery, etc. is all reusable.
Wow, this was a bit of a roller coaster. I have to say, that is AMAZING news about Elizabeth. The best possible news, really! I wonder if you would write a little about how she’s finding wearing her brace, etc. I know you did write about it, but I wonder how it has gone all this time. I guess it’s been really good given the outcome!
I am having a very similarly busy summer. My 2nd about to go to college, and he and I had orientation last week – was supposed to be this week and we moved it at the last minute – which I will soon blog about. Big trip coming up to Vancouver for Irish dancing and lots of decisions and planning to go along with that. Otherwise I watch my ‘free time’ slip away driving kids to sports camps at our high school, picking kids up from summer jobs, feeding them, and begging our oldest to grow up. And I was excited for summer, ha. I thought I would get so much work done on my manuscript. Not a minute spent on that just yet. And still I have hope.
So sorry to hear about Rob’s summer job issue – that is incredibly frustrating. I too met some nice people at orientation, while other people made me positively laugh out loud. What comes over people? Like the VERY SPECIFIC question about a dorm situation that needed to be addressed outside of the group Q & A forum. And at Ed’s future college there were those, ‘my child is bright, and if he is going to be a double major then what else should he do?’ people, because they are everywhere. Sigh.
“…I highly recommend this “friends” thing if you haven’t checked it out recently.” Loved this line! We have one family that we hang out with, and love, but we really should get more social but when I look at the cast of characters that makes up the list of our acquaintances…let’s just say we like them enough but there is too much drama there to spend much time with them. Hmmmm, maybe new acquaintances are in order here….
Good news for Elizabeth and Henry! Yay, that William is going to the school that he feels was the best choice for him. Poor Rob, he was cheated of what he thought would be a great opportunity. I sincerely hope the college does something in the way of recompensing the kids (even knocking just the amount they should have earned off next year’s tuition would go a long way in removing the bad taste from the whole situation).
That was definitely a roller coaster of emotions to read but maybe my favourite part was about Henry looking forward to not being anxious about his flu shot.
Wow, you really do have a lot going on here, don’t you. II just popped in to say that my Dad has to take IV medications daily, and those medications need to be stored in the refrigerator, but need to be mixed/administered at room temperature. So, the medications need to be taken out of the fridge two hours before you plan to administer them, then mixed, then put in the IV. Is it possible that something like that is at play here with Edward’s medication? Like, they won’t take them out and thaw them until they know he’s hooked up and actually going to take it so as to avoid any possible spoilage. But, then it takes two hours after that for the medication to be ready for him.
I know it’s a long shot, but even knowing that there is some reasonable explanation out there would make me feel calmer about the waiting.
Wait, Elizabeth is taller than you? That’s…oh my… *gazes off wistfully into the distance while humming “Sunrise, Sunset”
I wonder if the Remicade delay is a combination of under-staffing in the pharmacy, fussy procedures for reconstitution, and then some sort of timed interval to let pre-meds kick in. Whatever the cause, that sounds frustrating. A long day.
Also dying to hear more about the start-up drama. Yikes! I didn’t live in an area big enough for temp agencies but that sounds brilliant. Also, isn’t there an app called Task Rabbit for small individual jobs? Though the temp agency would have more accountability for the work obviously.
I need to sleep so I don’t have the time to see if someone answered this already: it doesn’t take two hours to mix up a bag of remicade. 20-30 minutes max is what I experienced. I don’t know why they are taking so long but I would complain. They’re letting him sit for 1.5 hours + with an IV in because….whatever shit reason. I’m sorry. I’ve taken 5? different meds in that autoimmune line and none of them take that long.