I have just finished re-watching Sense and Sensibility (the Emma Thompson / Alan Rickman version) and Pride and Prejudice (the Jennifer Ehle / Colin Firth version) (Twitter thread if you would like to hear why Mr. Darcy is hot), and now I am in search of a dress like those dresses. They look so COMFORTABLE. Like nightgowns, but with flattering bust emphasis. I suppose it would look ridiculous at the grocery store, especially since I don’t have those short front-curls of hair framing my face. Were those wiglets, do you think, or did the actresses really cut their hair like that? I suppose it was little wiglets.
I am also re-reading Shirley Jackson’s book Raising Demons, and enjoying it so much. Several of you recommended it and you were SO RIGHT: she moves to a new, large, weird house with her many children; it is eminently relatable right now. She even has an unpleasant altercation with the movers, as I did. I want to find a copy of this book so I can own it, but I am looking on Amazon and the options are odd: new editions, editions that include other books, etc. I don’t want the one that has the cartoon cat on the cover; it has to be the old one with the house on the cover [edited to add: and it has to be hardcover]. I will try eBay. Oh, $350. Perhaps I will steal my library’s copy and pay the $14 lost-book fine. (This is not a joke I can carry off believably.) [Update: Slim found me a reasonably-priced copy and then told me I needed the book and the book needed me, and I find Slim very persuasive so I ordered it. I am so happy imagining it on its way to me!]
This weekend I am taking Rob back to college, because at the last minute he obtained a summer job there. This is excellent news, as he does not seem keen on living at home with us anymore, and I am finding I am somewhat less than keen myself on his schedule of sleeping until 2:00 in the afternoon and then getting up and examining the labels of our food to evaluate ethical status. It has been nice having him home for a little while, but now it will be nice to return to the status quo of loving him from afar. Also it will be nice to spend a night by myself in a motel room, watching Say Yes to the Dress and eating Junior Mints / Mr. Goodbar / Pringles / Smartfood Kettle Corn / Entenmann’s Brownie Chocolate-Chip snack cakes. Though as it turns out, it will be an expensive trip: for some reason motel rooms were either sold out or else double the usual price; apparently there is something going on in the city that weekend. I chose the cheapest room, which was the same price I usually avoid paying by choosing something else at half the price, and I felt myself lucky to have it. Fortunately I got my snack-cakes on sale.
Rob’s new job, which is for a company run by other college students, told him proudly to watch The Social Network as homework before beginning his new job. We have watched it, and I am at a loss to understand what they are trying to tell him. That movie doesn’t just fail The Bechdel Test, it douses it in gasoline and lights it on fire while chanting fraternal loyalty to the brotherhood. If I had to guess, I’d guess it was a warning: Get in, loser, we are going to steal your work, stab you in the back, and be terrible to women as we’re doing it! I said something similar and Rob was a little touchy about it. “He didn’t say he was The Next Mark Zuckerberg; YOU called him that,” etc. This job has Learning Experience written alllllllll over it.
Hahahahaha omigosh I am dying about them recommending The Social Network. I reallllly hope we get some stories out of this learning experience. I mean, thank GOODNESS they don’t have someone there referring to himself as the Next Mark Zuckerburg!
Those are Empire necklines, but I hear them pronounced OM-peer. They have a nightgown vibe but are great camo for a thick waist.
Please show Rob how to check his first paystub and make sure they’re taking taxes out. I just did a tax return for a college student who was so proud to have earned $24,000 last year. It was on a 1099 and he owed thousands, and had no idea.
This is pretty good and important advice– I’m a freelancer and am paid by 1099s, so I have to pay quarterly taxes or face a penalty. If Rob is being paid via 1099, he should know so that he can make state/federal tax payments in September and possibly January. He should also be sure that he’s following any local laws related to being a 1099-paid person. When I first started, I lived in a city where I had to register as a business and pay city business taxes. Where I am now, I don’t.
The way I see it, as long as he’s being paid over the table, good or bad experience is still experience at his age. And if the place is problematic, maybe you and Paul can make a point of listening to his stories and telling him that what he’s describing is really abnormal and not what he should expect to see/do in a different workplace.
Do you like to sew? I ask because empire dresses are not all that hard to make (I say with a false sense of confidence, knowing full-well that the sewing gene totally skipped over me). My mom helped my daughter make one so she could be Elizabeth Bennet for Halloween a couple of years ago. She found the pattern online and they finished it over a weekend. (And a skinny curling iron can create the little ringlets, too!)
Does Rob live in an apartment? My oldest just returned from college and if she chose to go back to college town and work a job – the idea of paying rent/etc would negate the income from the job. None of my business but thinking out loud. Funny on his checking the labels for ethical status. My children tend to police me as well – usually over straws and drinking bottled water.
I’m a straw-user myself, so to avoid the guilt when at home I got myself some fat silicone straws I can put in the dishwasher to clean. I’ve been keeping an eye out for those pretty rainbow stainless steel ones too, but they’re either too thin, have a built-in-bend, or too long to properly clean via dishwasher.
I still use straws when I’m out if they’re available, but if I can find a perfect stainless steel one in a case so I don’t have to put a wet straw into my bag when I’m done I might start carrying one around with me. On the other hand, I’d like to know what the carbon footprint of a metal vs plastic straw is, and how many times you’d need to use a metal straw to make up for the way it’s manufactured and shipped in order to be better for the environment than a plastic straw. I heard a podcast recently (Planet Money, April 9th) say that, taking into account water use, energy use, etc. you’d have to reuse an organic cotton grocery bag 20,000 times to make it more environmentally friendly than the option of plastic grocery bags (which is kind of depressing). I’m kind of afraid of what the stats might be for a stainless steel straw vs plastic…
Sorry, I took the straw topic and ran with it. Apparently this is something I’ve been thinking a lot about (because I really, really like straws and now feel so guilty about using them) and it was all just waiting for a chance to escape my brain!
I think about this kind of thing all the time, so I’m glad you posted!
Another example is re-usable lunch sacks… really only environmentally beneficial if you’re using that sack for MANY YEARS! Not just one or two school years. Brown paper bags (the lunch size ones) seem more environmentally friendly.
That said… Swistle – are you on instagram? As soon as you mentioned going to the grocery store with the empire waist bust-emphasizing dress and little hair ringlets, I immediately thought of you doing that for laughs in instagram stories.
Also I kind of like your plan for that library book – lol!
I admit to mentioning to my mom that we don’t buy overseas shrimp (because of huge slave labor problems) and that we also try to avoid “yep, that’s slave labor” chocolate, but that is largely because she was visiting and trying to get “treats” for me and honestly I do not really enjoy my treat if I know that odds are really good that my treat was produced at the cost of slave labor? (esp. child slave labor, yeesh.)
And when you learn about problems in the world that will only be solved if enough people get on board (leeringly corrupt politicians people voted in anyway! global warming! putting greasy pizza boxes in paper recycling in systems where that will mess up the whole batch of paper recycling!) it is hard to appropriately balance leaving other people in peace vs., uh, “informing” them. (but there are so many bad ways of telling people about things. And also there needs to be some balance in communication so that telling people about Things They Are Doing Wrong is not *most* of your interaction with them… sigh.)
Anyway! Congratulations on achieving a comfortable distance, and I hope the job turns out to be good-educative instead of indoctrination-time.
Yes, learning experience!!! I do happen to love that movie, and the strongest scenes are the ones with Rooney Mara and her total disdain for Zuckerberg. But yeah, it’s a morality tale about corruption and narcissism. Interesting choice, bruh.
So! Here’s hoping he will receive cash money for working with the Winklevii this summer ;)
I searched Torrid for “empire waist” and found some cute stuff! https://www.torrid.com/search?q=empire
It’s funny, my mom and I say empire the English way, but maybe that’s because we never speak to fashion people but other (Midwestern) sewists/seamstress/sewers. :)
I’m British and don’t speak to fashion people but DO speak to other sewing/garment making people, and I say and hear it Em-pyre, not om-peer.
Sense and Sensibility is my favourite Jane Austen novel. It’s so dark and fascinating. I love P&P as well, of course, but there is just something about S&S. Congrats to Rob on his new job and it sounds like everything is working out well – except for the expensive hotel room. But Junior Mints! You are my Junior Mint kindred spirit.
I’m a big Shirley Jackson fan, reading a biography of her now. I remember enjoying Raising Demons even though I was childless and living in a city apartment at the time.
Did they recommend the Social Network as a cautionary tale or as inspiration? I’m hoping the former but it doesn’t really sound like it.
Enjoy your road trip!
p.s. I’m going to put the frosting recipe in the comments on my last blog post.
Favorite part: “I am somewhat less than keen myself on his schedule of sleeping until 2:00 in the afternoon and then getting up and examining the labels of our food to evaluate ethical status.”
Yes this summer job sounds like a VERY good thing.
A few years ago, I was lamenting to a librarian friend that I loved the old library version of a book and while I could buy a new copy, it wouldn’t have the same feel, and she actually _suggested_ I keep it and pay the lost book fee! It was $50, and I felt guilty the whole time I was telling them I lost it, but I’m not going to lie, I’m not sorry I did it, I love that copy.
I understand the impulse. The flaw in the plan (where I live) is that the money just goes back into general book buying funds not to replacing that exact book. This means that when old classics/favourites go missing they might never be replaced (especially if out of print) and something generic bought instead. That means that the lovely book is now lost to all future borrowers.
Thank you so much for this information. I have coveted our public library’s editions of the Betsy-Tacy book series for years…seriously, like 35 years…sigh. The re-released editions do not have the same cover illustrations and are awkward and cartoony. I went ahead and collected the (ugly) new editions, but can at least feel guilt-free thinking of all the other patrons enjoying the gorgeous vintage ones.
Or you can “lose” the ones with good illustrations and bring in your ugly new ones saying “I’m so sorry but I seem to have misplaced the ones I borrowed so I went ahead and bought replacements for them.” Other patrons probably care more about the content than the covers.
Back when I was in college, my best friend’s mom rented a movie from Blockbuster (don’t I feel old?) that she had not been able to find anywhere else. She went to the store and asked how much she could pay to buy it and they wouldn’t let her. After much discussion with (if I recall correctly) multiple employees she was told the lost video fee was $6. She paid and left. So, i’m not saying the library would be the same way, but she was upfront and honest and still got to keep the movie she wanted for a great price.
Swistle, I just really love your way of writing and am wondering when you will finally realize you absolutely have to start writing a book?
I recently discovered Thriftbooks.com and it’s been LOVELY – used books for under $5, in most cases. It looks like they don’t currently have a copy w/the cute old house (this one, I assume? https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/raising-demons/13596861/#isbn=B000SN8QOQ) but if you add it to your wish list they’ll email you when it becomes available :)
“Fortunately I got my snack-cakes on sale.”
Good for you Swistle!
As the mother of a 16.5 YO boy I’m afraid that the “examining the ethical status” of your food hit too close to home. I veer wildly between not being able to wait until he goes to college and has to police his own self and being sad that he will be going to college in only a couple of years. Teens. Whew.
Also the dousing the Bechdel test in gasoline and setting it on fire made me cackle in my office. It’s funny because it’s true…
My 6 year is constantly shaking me about not recycling and not off lights, so I am scared for my future. (I know I should recycle and be more diligent about lights…but am currently in a “just survive” mode.)
And YES to a swistle book. You are such a talented writer.
It looks like abebooks.com has the copy you want for $4.50. It delights me that you’re re-enjoying it the way I thought you would! Don’t forget about the otter one, either, Life Among the Savages.
*other one. I wish there were otters in it.
I so regret not “losing” some of my favorite books from my library. I love D.E. Stevenson-and a librarian friend said if books were checked out at least once a year, they won’t weed them. So I diligently took out all her books at least once a year, it wasn’t a chore because I loved to re-read them. Imagine my dismay, I went to the section and they were all gone-DELETED! If I could go back, I would have kept them all and paid the fines. Happily her works are now coming back into print-but I loved those old editions.
Before any librarian might call me on this (which I don’t blame them for), I TOTALLY understand all the work it takes to process books. I’m a substitute teacher who is trained in the library, and I have covered maternity leaves where I added books to the collection. So I know how much works it takes just to process books to go into circulation. You don’t slap books on the shelf! These books though, published in the 1930’s and 40’s-that wasn’t the situation. It broke my heart to think of them in a box, going to some surplus location. This was like 10 years ago, and as you can tell-it still bugs me!!
I feel for you. I have had that happen. I checked out books and it didn’t matter because they weeded them out anyway. Sometimes they send those books to Abe books or Thrift books. I was lucky once, because there were a set of VHS that my library had and they were remodeling and had a sale and lo and behold I got all six tapes for like 2 bucks…score! But my timing was perfect…normally the books just disappear. I have discovered http://www.gutenberg.org where you can older, out of print books (electronic versions) for free!
eShakti has this wonderful, very comfortable dress: https://www.eshakti.com/shop/Dresses/Cotton-knit-empire-maxi-dress-CL0058952 I now own two =).