Hi Swistle,
I have been reading your blog (especially the name blog) for a while now and really have really enjoyed it. We are expecting our fifth (and most likely last) child this fall and I was wondering if you’d be interested in writing a bit about some of the time and/or money saving tricks you learned along the way. My kids are all very little (5 and under) and I would love to hear about how you managed food/activity/etc expenses as they got older or how you organized your meal planning or how you kept everyone’s school stuff straight.. Anything you feel like sharing! I feel like we got the lots of little kids stage figured out (finally!), but anything further down the line is very abstract still at this point and I would love to hear of any great tricks or routines or anything else you’d like to discuss. Thank you!
Anna
This is a great question for a group answer, because we all have different ways of doing things that work for us, and we all have different things we don’t care much about and can therefore pretty easily save money on. And in fact, that’s my biggest tip: find the things you don’t care much about, and start by cutting expenses there. It seems like that would be too obvious a tip to even mention, but I’ve found it’s the kind of thing I have to learn again and again.
When Paul and I got married, we used that concept to decide on what kind of wedding to have: we DID care about x, y, and z, so we spent money on those; but we didn’t care about a, b, c, d, e, f, or g, so we spent nothing (or very little) on those. When we were expecting our first baby, we didn’t care much about nursery decor or an heirloom crib so we didn’t spend much on those, but we (okay, “I”) DID care about the fabric of the car seat and Boppy, so I spent to get the car seat and Boppy I wanted, and I got free handmedown nursery decor from an acquaintance who was getting rid of hers. It’s not about which preferences are more objectively worthy (car seat fabric is no more objectively necessary or important than curtain fabric), it’s that you’ll feel the sacrifice more if you give up something you want, and feel it less if you give up something you don’t really care about. (Again, it feels obvious, but at least for me it has NOT been obvious.)
So when I list things we saved money on, some of you might start feeling a little prickly if I mention things that are very important to you; you might feel as if I’m saying you’re wrong to spend money there and that you ought to cut back. But one person’s Easy Budget Cut is another person’s Absolutely Crucial Not To Cut, and vice versa.
Two very big savings areas for us were (1) meals out and (2) vacations. We didn’t do either one. (I DID occasionally eat fast food, especially if I didn’t have many children with me. When I say “meals out” I am talking about family meals in restaurants.) This was an easy cut for us, because when they were littler I had approximately zero interest in either going out to eat with five children or traveling with five children. We are now very occasionally (like, when there is a promotion or a new house to celebrate) taking the children to restaurants, so that they will know how to do restaurants. But I find it very unpleasant to see what it costs for a family of seven to eat even a relatively inexpensive meal out.
When the kids were little, I made baby food. I found the task satisfying, and it saved a lot of money. But if I hadn’t found it satisfying, I would have purchased baby food at the grocery store and found something else that was satisfying and money-saving for me.
I tried all the store-brand versions of everything. If I couldn’t tell the difference, I continued to buy the store brand. If I could tell the difference, I bought the brand name.
I used to cut everyone’s hair, including Paul’s, sometimes including my own. I’ve done less of this over the years as the kids have gotten older and Paul’s hair has begun to need a more tactful, expert approach.
Handmedowns will save you one million dollars, but doing handmedowns requires a non-zero amount of work in order to save that money: boxing things up, storing them, finding them later. It might not be worth it for someone living in very limited space.
I bought a lot of kid clothes on clearance, mostly at Target or The Children’s Place at 75-90% off. This worked because I like the treasure-hunting feeling, I went to Target very regularly as a get-out-of-the-house activity, I wasn’t too particular about the clothes, and I had good Targets near me that often had good clearance racks so I found lots of stuff I liked at good prices. But this too requires a storage system, even more complicated than handmedowns because you buy various sizes in advance rather than packing away a whole set of clothes at once. It also involves a certain level of risk: maybe you buy a whole bunch of skirts in 4T and 5T for a 2T toddler who loves skirts, but by the time she’s in 4T she won’t wear skirts anymore; maybe you buy a whole bunch of summer clothes in 4T and then your child has a growth spurt and none of those summer clothes fit by summertime. Anyway, this whole thing worked well for me but might not be a good fit for parents who both work full-time, or who hate shopping, or who feel depressed by shopping from clearance racks, or who have limited storage space, or who have fewer kids.
Usually the first year I need a new big-kid thing (like when we suddenly needed binders in middle school, and I hadn’t realized we would), I have to pay full- or sale-price, but after that I know what I’m likely to need and I can buy clearance and set it aside for the next year. Some things never go on clearance: binders were a bad example because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a clearance on those. But calculators and handheld pencil sharpeners and glue sticks and pencil cases and book covers and so forth, they go on clearance and I have a big School Supply bin in a storage area. This is also good for replenishing things that wear out or get lost mid-year. I don’t usually have everything I need when we’re looking at the school supply lists in the fall, but I usually have most of it.
And this is for the little-kid stage you mention you’ve got the hang of, but I’m going to put it here for anyone still in that stage: How the Hell Do You Do It? Here’s the Hell How.
For keeping school stuff straight, we have tried various systems. In our old house, we had a series of hooks in the entryway, where children were supposed to hang their backpacks, coats, etc. Yes, they instead put those things onto the floor, but at least the piles were UNDER their own hooks, usually. In the new house, we don’t have an area like that, so I’ve put over-door hooks on their bedroom doors; they can hang their backpacks and coats on those hooks.
Things like snowpants and boots and hats, I store in bins by type of thing, since who knows who’ll be wearing what size next year: all the snowpants in one bin, all the boots in another bin. Each year as I’m digging through the bins, I try to notice and get rid of anything I know won’t fit anyone anymore. Hats and gloves live in drawers, and kids can rummage to find some that fit.
Activity expenses are a slightly touchy subject, I think. Or at least, I feel more nervous saying that we saved money and time by not doing many of them. I feel as if parents are expected to pay any amount to encourage their kids’ interests in anything their kids want to do, but when the kids were younger we didn’t really have the disposable income/time for that philosophy, and there was a stage when that would have required sacrifices of money/time/effort that were not worth it. (I am thinking particularly of the years when, if Rob wanted to do an after-school activity, I would have had to bring FOUR younger children with me.) If a child had shown a FIERCE interest in something, we would have found the money/time/logistics—but for the ever-rotating list of “Can I take karate/gymnastics/archery/soccer?” for kids who didn’t show likely talent in those areas or sustain such interests for long, we tended to say no. Or we would find a way for them to inexpensively/briefly sample the activity, through a recreation-department summer program or YouTube tutorials or books from the library or something. Sometimes this cut was really hard, like when a kid wanted to do something that sounded really reasonable or classic-childhood, like going to a sleepaway summer camp, and then we’d look it up and it would be $1800 for a week, and there was just no way that could work with our budget. Crucial surgery for $1800? We could find a way. A vacation for one single member of the family? No. When our finances loosened up a bit (and when the kids were getting older and easier to bring along), we started saying yes to interests that were sustained (i.e., the kid kept wanting to do it for more than the one afternoon when they learned their friend was doing it), and/or that were more reasonably-priced, and/or ones that seemed to us more important/valuable/useful (I am absolutely not going to make the mistake of giving examples on that).
Another harder cut: preschool for the twins. Preschool feels so RIGHT. Education! So important! And it felt unfair, because we sent Rob to preschool. But Rob had various issues that caused his pediatrician, a pediatric neurologist, and a speech therapist to all strongly urge preschool for him, whereas the twins had no such issues. And Rob was a firstborn with one younger sibling when he went to preschool, while the twins lived in a household with five kids—plenty of socialization with other children, including a same-age child. And Rob was one kid going at a time and that was still hard to afford; $750/month (and this was a decade ago) for two kids at once was not a percentage of our income we could justify spending on something optional.
By the way, some you might be looking at the summer-camp price and preschool price I mentioned and thinking “WHAT???? Here it’s only $200/$150/free!!!” or whatever. This is another thing that can vastly impact decisions. You might live in an area where camp/preschool/lessons are very cheap, and so that would not be such a good place for your family to cut costs. Or if you’re religious, you might have access to very cheap camp or preschool through a church-subsidized program. And so again, those might NOT be a good place for your family to cut costs.
We opted out of ALL school fundraisers of the sort where they want $11 for a roll of wrapping paper. Just, no. I will happily give the school money directly, and have done so, and have also bought things off teacher wish lists; but typically only a small percentage of those fundraising funds go to the school, and the rest is profit for the fundraising company, so no. For me that’s a really good place to save. But it often means disappointed children, because the fundraising company sends motivation speakers to ramp the children up about all the prizes they can win. It helped once I’d explained it a few times so that when the new fundraiser came out the kids already knew we would not be participating.
For a number of years my meal-planning consisted of getting worked up about it every night. Now we have a very simple meal plan, where there is already something planned for every night of the week. In some cases they’re alternating-week plans: like, on Sundays it’s either hamburgers or chicken. And I CAN go off-menu any time I feel like it. But every night has a default plan and I don’t have to think about it if I don’t want to. I’ve just recently delegated Monday a night for trying new things, because I finally feel as if I can cope with that. But I hate to cook, so this is another area where someone else might have a very different feeling about how to handle it. Like, I can easily see someone else saying that they way they coped was by making sure they didn’t get into a rut and always had new fun recipes to try.
I don’t tend to use a lot of coupons, though I know lots of people who say they save lots of money that way. I am more inclined to shop sales/clearances. When peanut butter goes on sale from $3/jar to $2/jar, I buy enough of it that a manager has to be called over to approve the sale. Paul teases me about it, but this is the sort of thing that adds up over time and is almost effortless for me, as well as fun. If I hated doing this, or didn’t feel as if I could keep track of it (as I feel about couponing), or didn’t have the storage space, this would not be a useful idea for saving money.
“Having the kids do their own stuff” helps considerably with time management, and becomes increasingly possible as they get older. I am not a patient teacher and I HATE training kids to do things, but when the kids are older there is nothing quite like the amazing feeling of getting just your own self into the car while everyone else hops in and buckles their own seatbelts. Or saying, “Okay, go take a shower,” and the kid just goes and does it. Or “Okay, Dad and I are going out for dinner, so everyone make your own dinners tonight.” Or “Okay, everyone off to bed now,” and there is nothing for you to do. It is the best, and it is in your future.
Okay, I have gone on a long time, and it’s time to let other people talk. Where are the places your family doesn’t mind cutting expenses? What are some of the systems/routines/tricks that make your family’s life easier?
Mother of a five year old here. This bit gives me hope:
“Okay, everyone off to bed now,” and there is nothing for you to do. It is the best, and it is in your future.
I have more news. There comes a day when you SLEEP while your child gets up, gets ready, leaves the house and gets on the school bus.
It has happened for me, and it can happen for you too. I swear.
This makes me want to weep with anticipation
Lo, the Spirits of Motherhood Future have spoken to me!
I can’t wait for this phase!
Oh man I love these kinds of posts and I am eagerly looking forward to the comments. My husband and I both work full time, so we are a bit more on the “throw money at the problem and save time” side of things (eg we order takeout once a week). But we definitely use hand-me-downs gratefully from extended family.
I live in an area where mass transit is not easy to use, but I use it as much as possible because I hate driving. So I get to feel great about saving money (if I only count the tolls, the bus + train = driving, but that’s not accounting for gasoline or parking), and although the bus + train takes longer than driving on the best days, it’s more predictable and much faster than driving on the worst days (bus+train = 45 minutes almost without exception, driving can take between 30 minutes and an hour and a half…and no I’m not kidding).
We had a fantasy of becoming a one-car family, but that’s not workable where we live.
I used to bring my lunch every day, but I’m finding the lunch bag plus laptop and other stuff I carry daily to be too heavy. I need to figure out a lighter-weight way to manage that, because buying lunch everyday is wayyyyyy too expensive.
We’ve been using AnyList to track our grocery shopping and marking where items are cheapest (Like Swistle, we also do not coupon. Tried it, never remembered to bring them to the store).
Like Swistle, we stock up on school supplies. We only have the one kid, but he’s never going to need to buy pencils ever again in his life. But we have a huge supply closet in our home office (which used to be the master bedroom).
Ugh, I really sympathize with the beast of burden aspect of being a mass transit commuter. A laptop changes everything! None of the whole downtown/commuter aspect was built around having to schlep so damn much.
Liz – I don’t know if it’s feasible for you, but I only made this work by keeping the INGREDIENTS to make lunch at work. So I would have one day of schlepping but i’d bring like a container of hummus, a whole box of wheat thins, 4 bags of pre-cut veggies, and cheese and store it all at work. Or a loaf of bread + mayo + cold cuts and I’d make a sandwich every day. There is obviously still schlepping involved (but… fewer times?) but that’s the only way I was able to stop end up eating out every day @ my office.
OOOHHHHH. That could really work for me! THANK YOU!!!
If you have a freezer at work you can batch cook things that freeze well and bring 2 weeks worth at a time! Or even frozen lunches- $2/day for the good ones ($0.88 are the cheapest at my grocery store) is still way less than a $6-8 fast casual lunch.
Ooh, that’s a good idea.
Would you be able to uses grocery delivery service or amazon direct to deliver your items?
Not really, but I could drive in once a week and stock up for myself.
I was inspired so much by this conversation that I decided that anytime I had to drive to work, I would also bring my lunch! And I’ve been sticking to that! Next week, after I do a Costco run, I’m going to pack a week’s worth of stuff to bring in on Monday.
THANK YOU EVERYONE!
Make sure you label everything – there are fridge thieves everywhere! I had to not only put my name, but doodle skulls and crossbones and write “pregnant woman’s milk – don’t steal” on my milk containers when I brought it to work by the carton during my first pregnancy. Before I added that last bit people were still stealing it.
I did not grow up around big families, and one of the fun surprises for me with my own big family (5 kids: 22, 19, 16, 13, 10) is the extent to which the older kids absorb and transmit family culture. So it felt like a struggle the first few times we said “No, we are not going to buy any $22 candle warmers (!) which will only net the school $2 apiece (!!),” but five years later it was great to hear the big kids explaining the situation to #4 and #5. “Those incentives look cool in the flyer but they’re totally junky. And the company is keeping almost all of the money for itself! Just tell the teacher you’re not doing it.”
I think people tend to focus on how much work it must be to raise a big family, but the early years of work pay dividends that a person might not anticipate.
This is a totally fascinating post. When I think of the money-saving things in my own life, it’s a lot of serendipity, I think (like, we got most of our furniture from my in-laws, which is huge), and so therefore not helpful. But I did want to say that I love how matter-of-fact and non-judgmental you always are, Swistle. It’s so easy for The Way We Do Things to come across as… The Only Way, and you are so good at making it sound, instead, like One Possible Way of Many Totally Valid Options. It’s not an easy tone to get right (I say mournfully as someone who fails with it time and again), and you do it so well.
I was thinking the same. Swistle, you’re so kind to think of how your words can be most helpful and least judgmental.
Housing is crazy expensive in the DC area, especially in the city and close-in suburbs. So we live in a smaller than average house. My then opposite-gender kids had to share a room until they were 11 and 16. And then the younger one only got their own room when I gave up my office.
This made me laugh loudly: “For a number of years my meal-planning consisted of getting worked up about it every night.” Girl. SAME. Then Trader Joe’s opened up three blocks from me and the angels sang and dinner is now a pleasant undertaking rather than a grueling slog every night (also so much CHEAPER).
Personally, my money/family philosophy turned out to be “have a single child and pour every dollar into her” so my experience is different. BUT, I live in an apartment comprising under 1000 square feet and I find that tips for space-saving and money-saving have significant overlap.
This won’t apply to the letter-writer since she has significant baby experience, but I decided pre-baby that we would only purchase the things that we found were ABSOLUTELY necessary for the baby. No baby swing. No bassinet. No glider for the nursery. No wipe-warmers. Et cetera. Many people I know didn’t have a changing table/station to save space/money.
Like a commenter above, I always bring my own lunch/snack/breakfast from home to work. I very rarely eat fast food or Starbucks or even grab a bagel on the way to the office. Those little things add up and the savings are surprisingly significant.
For activities, Girl Scouts/Boy Scouts are relatively inexpensive compared with other classes/activities and provide a wide variety of experiences for the kids.
We mooch off of friends who have country/lake houses in the summer. Those are low-cost/free weekend getaways. However, now that our child is older, we are going on more elaborate trips. Traveling on a fairly loose budget is an essential to me, which played into the family size decision as well.
Tips and tricks! We do a lot of sports, and various pieces of uniforms were ALWAYS getting lost. Now I keep each complete uniform in a labeled gallon-sized ziploc, and those go in the (soccer/track/basketball) bag. The rule is that, unless it’s being worn, the uniform (including shoes and socks), NEVER LEAVES THE BAG. Even if dirty, IT GOES BACK IN THE BAG. This requires me going in to fetch and wash it, but at least you can always find everything.
Once everyone gets to the showering alone stage, a shower clock really helps (we have one of those soap-on-a-rope types ones). Keeps everyone on schedule and helps with bathroom sharing when several people have to get ready at the same time.
Tell me more about this shower clock. A certain child likes to use up ALL of the hot water.
We have this one:
https://www.amazon.com/Shower-Clock-Resistant-Quartz-Movement/dp/B001HOF2C4/ref=sr_1_15?keywords=shower+clock&qid=1554474342&s=gateway&sr=8-15
But, I see they have digital versions with alarms as well (even better)
We have a timer built into the switch for the fan in the bathroom, so buttons can be pushed for 10, 20, 30, or 60 minute increments. We tell the kids they have to push the 10 minute button and be out of the shower by the time the fan stops at the latest. (They have to push the 30 or 60 minute after their shower to properly vent the bathroom of moisture too.)
I was going to give the same advice about the sports bags. Each kid has a soccer bag, a basketball bag, etc…and everything they need stays in the bag. Always! This really saves a LOT of time when trying to rush out of the house for games/practice, etc….Also I usually buy an extra pair of socks (if they need red soccer socks, for example, I will buy an extra pair). Somehow the socks seem to get lost/forgotten, despite our bag method, so one spare pair solves that problem.
I’m going to third the sports bag thing. Youngest does 4 sports throughout the year and I was about ready to tear out my hair every May when suddenly we needed to find the goggles for swimming but who could remember where on earth they were left in September? Now all sports stuff is segregated in its own bag and all the bags live in Youngest’s bedroom closet. The only thing I have to do is launder the stuff and make sure it still fits when it’s been awhile between seasons. Frantic running around and equipment drama as been reduced to near zero.
I have a similar system but a backpack per kid which should have all uniforms, helmets, equipment and water bottle. Put it in there after practice or a game and I make sure it’s clean. They lug uniforms to practice- too bad.
Saves me from FRANTIC search for the right sock, mouth guard, hat, whatever when I’ve raced home from work with no time to spare for unorganized athletes.
The shower clock is brilliant and I need one!! I have one child who thinks showering until the hot water is gone is an appropriate way to shower. Ugh.
This is the kind of post I love – great question, pitch-perfect response from Swistle, and the comments will be gold, too.
We save money in these areas:
I like cooking simple meals from scratch (we’ve not vegetarian but we don’t eat lots of meat) and I like using up ‘a bit of this and a pinch of that and whatever vegetable is getting old in the fridge.’ To Swistle’s point, I recognize, that this is not the kind of thing that everyone enjoys.
My kids (10 and 12) don’t care about clothes too much yet. They are very happy with a limited assortment and second hand things or hand me downs. This will likely change in the years ahead!
Packing lunches, not going for fancy coffees, not going for expensive hair cuts etc…
We tend to spend money on:
Travel
The number of activities the kids do is moderate compared to many of their friends – but in our area they tend to be expensive so it feels like a lot of money.
Another tip – even if you don’t have a green thumb (if you are inclined and have a bit of space), planting a bunch of lettuce so salad is ‘free’ in the summer seems to save quite a bit (put the kids in charge of the garden).
Love this! I was going to mention your “here’s the hell how” post as well because that was a good one!
I’m also a mom of 5 (15, 13, 10, 6, 6) and I do a lot of the same. I don’t have it in me to track and organize coupons but I definitely stock up on our staples.
When the kids were littler, I both bought and sold our clothes at one of those giant 3-day consignment sales. The set-up to sell was always time consuming but I always made more money than I spent and that was a huge plus for me.
Our grocery store (Wegmans) has an app and this has changed meal planning for the better for me. They even recently added digital coupons so when you swipe your loyalty card or scan the app at checkout, the coupons are automatically applied which is the only time I’m using coupons. But being able to build a list in the app, have it tell me which aisle everything is in, and even have some recipes built in that I can click “add all ingredients to list” has helped immensely. No more wandering through the store or circling back because you put avocados at the bottom of your list and didn’t see it until you got to other side of the store, no more buying something because it sounds good. I’m actually more motivated to meal plan and to stick with the plan now. I realize this only works if you have a Wegmans near you but maybe other stores are getting on this too?
I don’t meal plan very well but I loooove the Wegmans app!! Getting a list by aisle is amazing!
I love love Wegmans too. I have seven kids (13, 12, 11, 9, 5, 2, 4 mos), and I find that it is cheaper to do Wegmans family pack items than Costco or other stores like that. Plus I love walking the aisles of Wegmans.
I use the Meijer app and select digital coupons while I’m shopping! Even from the checkout line.
I’m considering grocery delivery bc grocery shopping with small kids can be 45 min to 4.5 hours depending on how much touching, whining, potty, running, random things in the cart there are.
Oh hey, that reminds me: I know the layout of our usual grocery store so I list items in the order of my path through the store. If I think of milk or cheese first, I still put it near the bottom of my piece of paper, knowing that I encounter dairy last.
(This would fall apart if someone else physically added to the grocery list, but no one ever does – they just tell me what is needed and I write it down.)
Me too!
Where I find the most savings in a family of five is in food and technology. We don’t have a game system and our computer is so old as to be almost useless to the children. We have a television, but only Netflix. My husband and I have phones, but our older kids do not and we are on very cheap month-to-month plans. As for food, we have two refrigerators and an extra upright freezer. I buy bread at the bakery outlet and freeze what we won’t eat that week (do you have a Franz or other outlet in your area? I can buy three giant grocery sacks of bread products for under $15). I buy extra meat when it’s on sale and my items like cheese, milk, and frozen veggies in bulk. I also adore Grocery Outlet for inexpensive snack and freezer items to feed hungry preteens (fish sticks, ice cream). I know not everyone can buy in bulk, but if you can swing it, it sure saves time and money. On top of it all, my husband fishes, so at the end of every summer, we have a freezer full of salmon and halibut.
Yes to the Netflix only! Our cable bill had crept up over the years from $35/month to over $100! My sports-loving husband cancelled it of his own volition when he realized the only cable being watch was his hockey games.
I only have 2 kids, but I also did many of the things Swistle did. I bought clothes ahead on super clearance and put them away, used hand me downs, grocery shopped according to sales, bought school supplies at the end of the season for mid year replacements or next school year lists. I also did my son’s haircuts with a clipper until he decided that he wanted an actual hairstyle. Now they are both teenagers so I no longer buy clothes ahead of current size, get any hand me downs, or buy tons of school supplies. If items are 75% off I will buy them anyway and donate them to our churches school supply drive the next summer.
We bought our house before we had children with the idea that we could still afford it if I quit working and stayed home when they were little, which I did and only try to have 1 car payment at a time. I doubt we will size up our house because we will most likely be empty nesters in the next 10 years and I don’t want more house to clean.
My husband and I have only 2 kiddos (9 and 12), but for almost ALL things, I buy used/second hand. Most frequently I get clothes for the me and the kids (for myself, I am a member of a stitch fix group on Facebook and get great deals from that), bikes, electronics, and sporting equipment. I always check Craigslist or Marketplace and have my favorite secondhand shops around my town that we shop at.
Around Halloween, I post to my neighborhood FB group and Nextdoor about costume swaps. I post what I have to offer and the sizes I need. Halloween costumes are so overpriced and you wear them for ONE DAY.
I never buy the school portraits, I take plenty of pics of my kids and prefer the candids. For sports, we buy 1 magnet of their individual pic ($8) and put it on our fridge in the garage. It now has like 30 magnet pictures of my kids on it, so it’s a fun way to display them. We would never display the team pics, and I’m not willing to buy something that will instantly go into a box.
We have library cards and we send books to their kindles. They are voracious readers and this has saved loads of money while encouraging the reading. We never buy from the Scholastic/Usborne sales through the schools. I’m with Swistle and others on fundraising, we opt out.
I love your point about how what works for one family (or mom) won’t work for another. Here’s what works for us. I have two girls, ages 4.5 and 15 months. I get 90% of their clothes secondhand, mostly from thrift stores. I like shopping, and regular visits to the thrift store scratch that itch inexpensively. Keep an open mind and think ahead and you will eventually find most of what you need. Shoes and coats, I am more picky (and those are harder to find in good condition), so I save searches on ebay for the sizes/brands I want. Socks and unders, I get at H&M or Target when there’s a sale.
We deliberately rented a house near hubby’s work so he can bike in and we can put off getting a second car. We have cheap phone plans, no data; internet at home but no cable or landline. Hubby takes a box lunch every day, and for my older daughter’s preschool lunch, I have multiple boxes and make several ahead at the same time. That’s a huge morning hassle-saver.
We spend a lot on food but that’s something we consider to be worth it. I do buy ahead and freeze meat from Costco- HOT TIP don’t let them upsell you on the $120 “Executive Membership” unless you spend $250 or more per month at Costco. At that point the rebate makes it worth it. Less than that and your $60 Gold Star membership is a better value. Also, if you wear contacts, get them at Costco. So much cheaper. This has been your Costco Comment.
Ooh, also as several people have mentioned, hubby and I cut our own hair. He does a buzz cut, easy with clippers. I taught myself from youtube and I use a Feather razor- much easier to use on yourself than scissors. I have a shoulder length “lob” and need a trim every 6-8 weeks, that would be crazy at a salon, plus the worry that they are going to do it wrong. Neither of our girls has needed a haircut yet but I plan to do home trims until they can earn money for the alternative ; )
This is my favorite sort of blog post, even though I have very little to contribute myself.
My main tips for getting through it are keep your expectations LOW. We are IN IT with two toddler people in our home right now and a tween with many after school activities and I feel that we have achieved SUCCESS when all of the people have consumed sufficient calories for the day and are not visibly filthy.
Doing a load of laundry EVERY SINGLE DAY is the thing that keeps us from drowning in it.
We worry VERY LITTLE about balanced wholesome meals made fresh and with love and more like….have the kids eaten? Like at all? Throw an apple at the one that didn’t eat enough dinner.
We have a storage space to manage the hand me downs and have spent zero dollars on the baby’s clothes as a result which is extremely satisfying. It is also satisfying to see your favorite clothes on repeat on a new baby and fondly remember the older baby in the same outfit at some prior time.
“….throw an apple at….” Okay, that made my day! 😂
This is something my mother (of 4 kids) did when were all a bit older than the kids of the person who was asking the question: on a Saturday, she would get out multiple loaves of bread and sandwich materials (pb&j, deli meat/cheese, etc.) and we would make about a month’s worth of sandwiches. These would go into sandwich bags, and the bagged sandwiches would go back into the original bread loaf bags. These would all then go into the freezer. When lunches were being put together, we’d put the frozen sandwiches into our bags, and go off to school. The sandwiches were usually mostly thawed by the time we got to school because lunch prep was generally done morning-of, but would probably have been wholly thawed if we pulled them out the night before. I think it was a big time saver for her. Plus there was no risk of finding out that there was no bread for one kid’s lunch at the wrong moment.
The money-saving thing I’m doing myself consist mainly of saying “no” to things, which is no big deal with my own child (age 3).
I do the same thing with slightly more fancy fillings (roast meat/chicken etc) and gift it to mothers who are having a second/third/fourth child. If you wrap each sandwich in aluminium foil they can throw it straight in a sandwich press and have a hot lunch in 2 minutes with no clean up or the kids can take them to school. Perfect! I have had really good feedback that it is a lifesaver in the early post-partum days.
This wise Swistle sentence made me laugh:
“…interests that were more reasonably-priced, and/or ones that seemed to us more important/valuable/useful (I am absolutely not going to make the mistake of giving examples on that).”
It IS fascinating how we humans all value different things. I love hearing what people find important/valuable/useful so thanks for all the comments.
My best save-money tip is to not go shopping. I go to the grocery store once or twice a month tops (I hate it so much), and I can’t remember the last time I went to Target or a clothing store. (I buy stuff online if I need something specific.) I’m pretty good about sticking to a list, but I know I’ll inevitably get sucked into adding a few fun things I don’t actually need, so my solution is just to stay away entirely.
Leah, how do you manage once a month grocery shopping? I want to know your secrets (is your secret cereal?).
I don’t know how Leah managed once a month grocery shopping, but when I did basically-once-per-month-grocery-excursions, I did a succession of meals over the month. First came the meals using up all the about-to-die ultra-clearance produce (soup, stir-fry, etc. with All The Veggies All The Time). Then were meals using regular produce or slightly longer-lasting clearance produce. By the very end of the month we were down to things like cabbage, carrots, onions, garlic, and potatoes for fresh [if you get not-baby carrots, they live *forever*, and cabbage can hang out comfortably for months], which were stretched with canned/frozen veggies. Fruit followed a similar trajectory, with clearance-mangoes eaten that day, then on-sale fruits like plums, then bananas as they ripened, then the semi-everlasting oranges and apples. No scurvy occurred. Milk stays good longer if you don’t open it immediately; whether it’ll last a full month is down to your specific grocery store milk, though, and how quickly you go through milk (when milk was getting near the end of its life, I made cooked pudding and/or pudding pops and/or chocolate milk to use up the last of that unit before it went sour). Eggs last a surprisingly long time.
Everything else was stocked up in the cupboards or freezers; bread: frozen; meat: not much of it, frozen in single-meal units (I was also on a serious budget, so I used meat mostly for seasoning and relied on lentils/beans/rice/eggs for protein, which also meant that it didn’t take up as much freezer space as it would have if we’d been doing the normal American Serving Of Meat thing).
All of that only works if you have the time, inclination, and mental space to do the juggling, and the financial cash-flow adequate for buying in advance and in bulk, and the physical space for storage, and the reliable supplies such that you can know that your grocery store will not, on your once-per-month visit, be out of the specific things you really need that time. And no picky eaters or special diets (depending on exactly the pickiness or the special diets, I guess. But that would raise the difficulty level a lot?). We also had a far-more-expensive grocery store that was nearby that *could* bail us out if we really needed something urgently, so that was nice. But in general, groceries were heavily planned out and very very cheap and yep, about once per month.
(We then moved to England for a year where we had a dorm-size fridge and a weekly farmer’s market and my grocery shopping changed more or less 100%. And then we lived somewhere with a grocery store that had highly predictable cyclical sales, so I’d buy a year’s worth of peanut butter or flour or canned beans when they were at the lowest annual price, and our laundry detergent every three months when it was 2/3 off its normal price, etc. But for me this was a *game* – like a crossword puzzle or like ping-pong – if I had not had the margin or the interest, it would have been torture instead.)
I know people who have had a lot of success curtailing their extra purchases by swapping to very rigid list-based shopping; if there’s something not on the list, they can write it elsewhere separately and then if they still want it next time they’re making a list, they can add it to that list and buy it then. (obviously, not for things like “oh, forgot to put toilet paper on the list but we’re almost out” – but for things like “wanting to try that new product” or “oh, that looks fun” or whatever) *Or* there is the “one treat below $x per shopping visit” theory, which works for some people – if they spot a treat they want more than the treat they were going to get, then they put the other treat back – but it lets them still have an element of spontaneity, which is valuable to some people. And I know other people who *love* doing grocery shopping online; they decide, not in the store, what they want, and no samples or end-cap “sales” can sway them from their course. :-) But what works best for any given individual person in any specific situation is highly variable, as is whether a specific area is even worth putting effort into optimizing!
I have four kids (20, 18, 16, and 12), the youngest is the only girl. Until about the age of 6, my daughter wore a lot of her brothers’ hand-me-down clothes, played with their old toys, used their old equipment (bikes, baseball stuff, etc.) – she still does that now, but also has pink-themed stuff.
The 18yo and the 12yo shared a room for a couple of years about 10-11 years ago, but mostly the three older boys shared a room and my daughter had her own room.
We did a lot of “free fun” when the kids were little, like going to the library or the park with my BFF and her kids, playing outside with the neighbor kids, etc. Blockbuster was big back then, too, and in my area, southcentral Alaska, it wasn’t uncommon to not have a cell phone or internet.
When the kids were in elementary school, the only activities they did were school band/choir or church-related activities. No karate/swimming/dance/etc., we just couldn’t afford it. My husband and I were both working part time and going to college full time back then, so we were already pretty busy.
We made some of our food from scratch instead of buying premade, boxed, or frozen food. I’m thinking of bread, especially, but other stuff, too, like potatoes, sauces, pizza. We inherited a bread machine from my stepdad and my kids eat So. Much! Bread! Sandwiches! Toast for a snack! Bread w/ butter with their dinner! That was a money saver and it made the house smell so nice, too. And then I could feel a little smug at being “that mom who makes homemade bread.”
One thing I found helpful with 4 kids was to color code them. All of their plates and bowls and cups were in their color. It made serving meals so much easier, especially when one developed some allergies.
Amy Dacyzycn (“decision”) wrote The Tightwad Gazette years ago; it was turned into books you can still get or check out. She raised a large family frugally, and the most interesting part of the book is how she got into a mindset about how you really want to live. Obviously money saving will come at a cost of time using. You really have to consider what works for your situation, and of course your situation can change with life stages. She had an interesting box storage solution for handmedowns, much like Swistle’s only she boxed by size, sex, and shoe size. I also liked that she did not consider her time without value; she thought about how much she would have spent on a thing and thought about the hourly salary she was in theory getting for not spending the money. Anyway, it worked for her. With six kids she also said no to costly activities and limited the kids to one activity per year just because of driving. Her rationale was that she had all these children, and they had each other, and that was how it was going to be. There just isn’t any way to raise 6 children as if they are each an only child, so why try? I thought that was probably helpful for families who might compare themselves to what the smallest families were able to manage; it’s obviously an unfair comparison. She got some flack about being too frugal and denying her family, but honestly–every family makes choices about how they will live and how they will spend their resources (time, money, energy). She was just arguing for being very intentional about it, and I am here for that.
I hauled her books out of storage recently and put them in my bathroom for reading snippets when I get a chance.
“She got some flack about being too frugal and denying her family, but honestly–every family makes choices about how they will live and how they will spend their resources (time, money, energy).”
Yes! She was once showing what her family ate, and it wasn’t so much that they liked that food as that the meals were cheap. Which I was with her on until she announced that when children look back, they won’t care about what they ate, they’ll be glad they lived in a nice house. And maybe that proved true for her kids, but we are a family with opinions about food (which my kids have learned — and yes, the older one reminded the littler ones) and I think our house is more than fine, but each kid has friends with fancier houses.
The other day I saw one of my youngest’s shirts in a laundry pile, and I remembered the oldest wearing it. It came from Target. The oldest now likes clothes from nicer stores (nicer than Target, not nicer like “he enjoys the finer things in life”), but I feel fine buying them for someone who will take care of them, won’t be outgrowing them anytime soon, and was a bargain to dress for the first 17 or 18 years of his life.
Plus, he’s earned it for being backing vocals on various family values — such as thrift and body acceptance — over the years.
Oh, I didn’t hear that comment of hers. Well, I’m sure they were nourished and it would be interesting to see how the grown kids choose to live.
I freely admit I don’t have the tightwad gene. I feel like many of the measures tell the family that they’re not worth it, and I draw the careful-with-money line there. People first.
As long as parents meet their kids’ needs, I figure those kids have plenty of time to indulge in whatever was denied them as children — travel, varied wardrobes, performances, gourmet meals, sports.
And some of my stupidest moments as a parent came because I felt I was treating my kids to something nice and they didn’t appreciate it. Because, duh, they didn’t want it.
(But they do think I’m a great cook.)
I love this post, and I love the comments!
I have 4 (grown now) step kids and also a 12, 9, and 18 month old. We all have curly hair and let’s face it…..no matter how you cut it you’re going to look the same. So no one gets a professional hair cut. I’m sure some day my daughters will care but right now they don’t want it cut at all.
I learned a lot from this post of things I’m letting myself be guilted into that are contributing to my debt. I think I’m feeling inspired to put my foot down on those after reading this. Also, I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one doing x, y, or z to save money.
I have three kids (15, 12, 10) and we save a little money by having b-day parties just every other year. One year, it’s something big (roller rink, bouncy house place, paint-a-picture-while-the-moms-drink-wine, etc) for a group and the next it’s take one friend to do something fun (go to a movie, go out for ice cream). They also know they’ll only get three things in their Christmas stockings because if three gifts were good enough for Jesus, three gifts are good enough for them. (Although, they do get a bigger gift or two from us as well.)
We have a cheap movie theater in town ($4.50/person), so if we go to a movie, which is rare, we generally go there. The more expensive theater has $5 Tuesdays, so we’ll occasionally go there in the summer. Getting snacks at the theater is a MAJOR treat – like once a year and usually for a birthday. We almost always sneak in leftover Halloween/Valentine’s/Easter candy.
For TV, we dropped satellite years ago and went to an antenna and TiVo setup. There are actually some pretty cool local TV stations and my kids discovered Malcolm in the Middle, That 70’s Show and others by watching the “weird” channels. We’ve added Netflix & Amazon Prime in recent years and we get recent-ish movies from the library instead of RedBox. There’s a bit of a wait sometimes, but they’re free.
(And yes, after proofreading this, it sounds like we watch a lot of TV and movies, but we live in a very hot and humid climate and we only get about two months’ worth of decent outdoor weather.)
We live near a major city, so we drive in for free concerts at major city parks and visit the museums on their discounted/free days. When they were little, the zoo membership paid for itself after 3-4 visits and we got a lot of mileage out of that.
I buy almost all my clothes and kids’ clothes second-hand, and if I buy new I almost NEVER pay full retail. My daughter and I love to go thrifting and there are a couple of charity organizations that run thrift stores where we get amazing stuff for dirt cheap. In fact, at this moment I’m wearing my very favourite jeans – nice enough for casual Friday at the office – that I got for about $3 at the Salvation Army. I also re-sell any clothes of theirs that are still in great condition when they’re done with them (i.e. stuff that just didn’t get worn a lot), and donate the rest that is usable to the same charities to pay it forward. I take worn stuff not good enough for donation to a place that collects fabric items for recycling.
I cut my hair and my kids’ hair (I’ve always cut my own, just like my mother and grandmother), and do the grooming of our dog myself outside in the summer (in the winter I get her groomed at a groomer because my son is technically slightly allergic to dogs so we don’t want the hair and dander floating around the house).
I do the grocery shopping and decide what meals to make based on what I find on sale – if I let my husband shop he’d pay full price for whatever he was expecting to be made. I also have a chest freezer so I can take advantage of good sales on things like meat.
I’m sure I’ll come back and add more after checking out the comments…
I have 4 kids aged 4-14 and have been a one income family for that time. I love the choose-what suits you and ignore the rest philosophy on advice so here’s my experience with that caveat :)
*this got too long so I’ll shift the most important to the top and you can ignore the rest :), choose your friends wisely! It is easiest to socialise with other people who are similar in income/also have big families, these people won’t blink inviting 7 of you to dinner, won’t judge you if you don’t let your kids enroll in a third sport for the season. If you help your kids to choose good friends it will also make a huge difference to their safety and happiness in their teen years.
Activities: My kids do a lot of sport (I’m Australian – its practically mandatory!), to save money I have encouraged them to all do the same sports, this means hand me down equipment/only one location/the big ones can supervise the little ones if I have to coach etc. I have stayed away from the glamour sports (football/dance) for reasons of cost and significant family commitment. I have a rug/chair/bag of toys that lives in the car to keep little ones busy on the sidelines. Everyone does the same musical instrument (piano) which means one teacher, one instrument, one lesson time for everyone (I cut a deal with the teacher and buy 1 hour of lesson time and split it 20 minutes each for 3 oldest kids)
We don’t eat out. We take packed lunches and water in a cooler everywhere we go.
I make most things from scratch and buy dry goods in bulk. We basically eat like it is 1950 :). I find that shop bought cookies/chips/ice cream etc just gets eaten really quickly and we don’t get much for the money. If the kids want cookies and I say ‘you can make a batch of cookies’ they are just as likely to eat an apply as bother but if the cookies are in the cupboard they will eat the lot. (especially true of the 14 year old)
If you don’t have anything prepped for dinner it takes the same time and effort to boil eggs on toast or make grilled cheese than to but takeout but it will cost about 25% for a large family.
We don’t give our kids gifts through the year. If they see something that they want I tell them to buy it themselves (if older) or I write it in a notebook and if they still want it come their birthday I buy it then (if little). For this reason they do get quite a few birthday and Christmas gifts. It just cuts down on buying spur of the moment junk stuff.
We don’t do pocket money. All money the kids get is through jobs around the house and the older two do chores for neighbours (car washing etc), the oldest has a very small job refereeing junior sport. I have found they are much less likely to spend money they have earned than money gifted to them.
I only did handmedowns until age 3 after that the spread in ages/sex made it just impossible to store in our little house. I now pass things on to other families when they are out of size. I find that this has made me part of a network and people also give me things for mine – it seems to work out. We have capsule wardrobes and only buy what we need.
I give time rather than money. I volunteer where I can (for example if a child is playing sport I will probably be scoring/working the canteen) I figure I am there anyway and this means I don’t feel guilty if I don’t buy tickets or whatever. I take the whole family with me and there are normally other kids to play with.
Hi, everyone. Letter- writer here. Thank you so much, Swistle, for your reply and thank you everyone for your comments. It’s trulh helpful! Our kids are 5.5, 4, 2.5 and 1 (and another one on the way) and we live in a town that seems very activity-focused. So far we’ve skipped most of this, but we are definitely in the minority as literally all the kids’ friends are signed up for 2+ activities a week (and they are all 6 or under!). It’s very liberating to hear of other families who don’t live this lifestyle. Thank you!
I have a couple small follow up questions, if that’s ok. A number of you mentioned cutting the kids’ and/or grownups hair yourselves. Ive been thinking of trying this, but am a bit nervous about the results during the learning process. How tricky is it and what product do you use? (I have 3 boys and a girl now and none care about their appearance yet, so seems like the time to learn would be now, but I’m still a bit nervous). We are already an unusually large family for our area, I don’t want my kids to look like a complete disaster..
My other question is re managing shower times for so many people. Right now my husband and I can shower in the mornings, and the kids get baths or showers on a somewhat rotating system in the evenings. When they are a bit older, there is no way we’ll have seven people showering every morning. Even half in the mornings, have in the evenings seems like a LOT of water. What do you do? Is it just a part of having a larger family?
Thanks, everyone!
Anna
I started cutting their hair when they were babies, and I think that helped: if I messed it up, there was no peer-embarrassment issue. When they got older, I was always prepared that a home haircut might result in a salon visit for someone to fix it. I have a clippers kit (I have a Wahl right now), and it came with scissors I use for scissors cuts, but I know some people like to buy a more expensive scissors and I think I would have done so if I could have stopped dithering about which one to buy. I had a book I used to learn the basics of a scissors cut but it’s been so long I don’t remember what book it was. If they get their haircuts at a barber/salon now, watch what the person cutting their hair is doing; that can be even more helpful. If they get clippers cuts, ask which sizes of guide combs they’re using (or, if they’re using color-coded ones, note the colors)—those are the little thingies that snap onto the end of the clippers to determine length of cut. For example, for a quite-short cut on my hair-sticks-straight-up kid, I use a 5/8ths for the top and a 3/8ths for the sides.
All the baths/showers IS a lot of hot water, and I do think of that as just one of the “there are more people” costs of a large family. I know that in olden times the whole family used to take turns with the same bathwater, but no thank you to that. So far things are still working okay, schedule-wise, in part because Paul gets up so early (he has a staggered shift so he can beat the morning traffic and then beat the evening traffic) and then I get up earlier than I have to because I want a good amount of hot water and I like to be more on the same sleep schedule as Paul anyway. Also we have one kid away at school, and when he’s home he gets up at, like, 1:00 in the afternoon. And my two youngest still don’t mind showering in the evening. So we have four showering in the morning, and we have to schedule it but it’s not terrible, and it’s spread out enough that even the fourth person usually has enough hot water.
I learned how to cut boys’ hair from the Tightwad Gazette, the book mentioned above. It has saved us a ton of money over the years! If you start when they’re small, they won’t care if it’s not perfect and you will get better as they grow.
I cut my kids’ hair and would agree with all Swistle said (start early, know you can go to a salon if you need it fixed, watch a professional do it….).
Other things:
-Sit them in front of the the TV. They hold still!
-Wet the hair.
-If your kids have slightly wavy/curly hair you are home free – no one will notice unevenness once it dries and is wavy.
-that thing that hairdressers do with boys hair where they comb it up in little sections and hold it between 2 fingers and snip off the ends? You can totally do that almost randomly in all directions on a boy’s head and end up with a really nice, classic cut! Amazing but true! It is surprisingly easy and effective and I feel like some kind of pro when I do it. You can use scissors or an electronic trimmer to carefully tidy the neckline and/or around the ears.
-(shhh…I use a good pair of regular scissors – not special hairdressing scissors).
– If you have a kid with really thick hair (especially if it is also straight hair) cut it in layers – or consider coughing up the money for a hairdresser.
-To build confidence, start small with a little trim – not a radical new hairstyle.
Good luck!
If you try this hold the hair in between two fingers trick I recommend a piece of duct tape over the web between your two fingers. I always snip this part with the scissors!
I learned to cut hair from watching it done by others, but now I would say YouTube is the way to go for instruction like this! I have a set of Wahl clippers, and a nice sharp set of Japanese hair scissors (but yes, I’ve snipped my fingers a couple of times, so be careful or let the comb hold the hair if it’s easy to work with).
As for the showers, 1) in terms of total hot water used in the house: daily showers aren’t a ritual in our house and would dry out our skin in the dry Canadian winters especially. Generally we shower every other day unless we get dirty or do something that makes us sweaty. Speaking of which, 2) we’re an exercising family, so showers are often taken after workouts or sports matches. We never have to worry about too many people showering in the morning, since that’s the exception in our house. I teach at the gym 2x a week (free memberships for myself and my husband and discounted membership for my daughter, plus a small bit of extra $, all for dedicating a couple of hours a week to an activity that’s really good for me) in the evenings, so that’s when I shower on those days.
Swistle you are the master of wonderful advice from a completely non-judgmental and flexible place. You will be the most appreciated mother in law someday.
Four kids (7, 5 , 3, 1), one income, I’ve been home from the start. I love hanging onto old clothes and shoes and seeing the kids wear those again. We are lucky to live in an area with lots of free child geared activities: rec centers, free baby parent classes, the library programming is amazing. We only do preschool the year before kindergarten and only twice a week for 2 hours.
I see myself as the social planner in our family because I do have the time to research free concerts, get on the list for free tickets for plays, request great materials for the library Etc. We have saved so much money from doing things this way. And really enriched our lives.
We keep open weekends and free evenings instead of organized activities and do lots of things like family bike rides or neighborhood walks for entertainment. I know that this will change as the kids get older so we’re enjoying it now!
So reading back through what I’ve just written I’ve had an aha moment that most of how we save time is by simply not doing anything organized outside of school and work. Ha! Being home bodies definitely helps.
One random thing: I bought black/dark blue snowboots or snowpants, so that they can be passed down from girl to boy or boy to girl without too much complaints. (If you live where you need snowgear.) I have a girl and then 2 boys, so if I buy pink snowpants, I can’t pass them down to my boys. My daughter did complain about the black snowboots, but it was worth it!
I didn’t figure this out till my kids were 10+ but it is an excellent tip!
I cut back on alcohol, bottled water and lunches out in 2019. I don’t miss any of it and believe it saves us close to $100 a month.
We live in a very modest house, and find it too overwhelming to move, which helps too.
Target brand diapers for the baby.
Keeping cars for ten years
Not big gift people for extended family.
Definitely skip the overpriced never ending school fundraisers. Would much rather give them money.
Our big cutbacks are cell phones and cable. We don’t have a cable or satellite TV subscription and haven’t for … at least 8 years. We do have a subscription to Hulu, Amazon Prime and Netflix, but the three of those plus $35/month for fast internet is less than the cost of one month of low-end cable.
We also use Straight Talk for 3/4 of the cell phones in the family. We bought refurbished iPhones for Hubs and the two kids (at various times, and for Significant Birthdays as the only present) and they have a month-to-month plan. 3 months of service is $30. There are no major carriers that have full year plans that cheap and they work well in our area for us. I researched for the best contract deal for my phone to finance the purchase of a new phone at a time when we couldn’t just buy a refurb and found Consumer Cellular had the best price – $60/month – $25 for the phone and $35 for one line, unlimited texts and calls and 2-3 GB data.
We have also worked pretty hard to only have one car payment at a time, which means hubs has been driving the same car since 2009.
Our situation: 2 parents with full-time jobs, 3 children ages 11, 9, 7.
Time-Saving but Money-Spending: Live close work and transit. see: two FT jobs. We both could walk to work downtown in our expensive city in under 40 min, though DH usually takes transit and I will drive or cycle so we are usually at work in about 15-20 min. Our move-in-ready but modest townhouse was very expensive.
Time-saver for “activities”: any activities will occur only when all three children can attend at the same time and location, with one exception made for house-league hockey (it’s very important to one parent and age-groupings are narrow and inflexible). And when you are paying for private music lessons for three children for many years, the music school will bend over backwards to schedule them conveniently for you.
This is right up my alley because we have 6 kids and started having kids when Coach was a full time PT student. Tight budget was necessary. Old habits die hard. One thing we never skimped on is kids’shoes. I refer to the shoes the kid wears daily. We definitely reused dress shoes for limited uses. Coach being physical therapist was opposed to kids using hand me down shoes. Coach has not been to a barber since right after we were married 22 yrs ago. Lad got his first real haircut away at college. I was visiting him and I took him and showed him the ropes. My biggest savings is bringing food along when we travel. If we drive, we bring a cooler full of food and a crockpot. If flying or staying in a hotel, I stay where there is a microwave and I pack what we can in a soft sidedcooler. At home, I save time by doubling or even quadrupling recipes, eat the first night and plug in the remaining another night in the crockpot. Works great with certain recipes. Yes we did handmedowns. I also stored bins of clothes and taped big notes noting what the heck is in there on each side bc who knows how it will get rotated in the storage room. We rented movies at the library and planned vacations around camping bc it is cheaper. Organization wise: I now have a new kitchen. Each kid has a drawer. They have a locker too in the mudroom but homework and sunglasses and party favors and earbuds they leave laying around . . . I now shove in their drawers. Those things never stayed put in the wild and crazy lockers.
Have a written budget and record everything that you spend. I mean everything. I remember going to Kinko’s (before printers had scanners), copying 3 things, coming home and adding 30 cents to the budget spreadsheet. I don’t know how people ever know what they have spent without writing things down. After you write it all down, look at what you spend and where you spend it. If you are honest about wants vs needs, it generally becomes clear where the problems are.
Some of the things I avoid – clothes that require dry cleaning, most nonessential services that are “only $x per month” (that stuff adds up fast), and any extended warranty (I swear Best Buy will sell you an extended warranty on a pack of gum). I also do not wear makeup or jewelry. I figure my husband can retire a few years early based on makeup savings alone.
I do believe in small rewards for good behavior. My husband gets a yearly bonus. Every year, we all get something ridiculous with the money and then allocate the rest for practical things. The ridiculous things have ranged in price from $5 to $1000 (as the bonuses have grown over the years). I remember one of my daughters getting a $4.99 troll doll with her bonus money. One year she got a $1000 laptop. My ridiculous thing this year is probably going to be a 40,000 piece jigsaw puzzle.
Thank you for the link to the How the Hell Do you Do It post because that is very much my life right now. Mine are 7, 5, 2, and another due in 4 weeks. Sometimes I don’t know How the Hell I Do It especially now when my hips ache and I’m tired and the toddler is barfing all day and the big ones are at two different schools (1st grade and preschool).
One tip that has worked for us is that we have a dresser in the upstairs hallway that has all the hats (winter and baseball), gloves, and scarfs. I sort through it once a year and buy gloves on sale. We have seven kids (13, 12, 11, 9, 5, 2, 4 mos), and it is so nice having a central location to keep all that stuff and to be able to shut the drawers! Highly recommend.
My husband has two older kids, grown and living on their own, homes, jobs paying their own bills. So not much costs there. I have two younger ones with us, and we do school activities, karate, but no others currently. We don’t do cable tv, Internet only, and we have an antenna on the roof. We raise chickens, sell eggs, have bees, sell honey and a garden with fruits and veggies, I can and freeze them as well as sell jams. Meeting our needs and some extra income generated, a win-win. I myself am terrible with the home haircuts, no one will trust me with clippers or shears, my boys fired me years ago. Thankfully hubby has a knack for it. He has been giving my two boys haircuts for years and has been great at transitioning to doing the haircuts that my two teens want. So I am still not taking them to the barbershop. He began cutting my hair for me shortly after we first started dating. He nicely trimmed and shaped my hair better than they did at the salon and best of all he listens and does as I ask, doesn’t get creative and hack my hair or try to sell me products I don’t need. I get compliments on my hair and now he not only cuts my hair, he gives haircuts to my mom and a couple of friends of mine. And these ladies are all very picky about their hair. Saves me well over a grand a year. We drive used vehicles and switched our cell phone carrier saving hundreds a month. Next year we will be starting more vegetables and flowers in the greenhouse hubby is building. Both a hobby and side business activity.
1. I buy unisex colors for raincoats, boots, snow pants. Everyone wears them when they get that size.
2. I keep a list on my computer of free stuff to do with the kids. If I see an article or ad I add it to the list. This has prevented us from spending money on activities because it’s easy to see what’s available. I give a copy of my list to new friends.
3. Time is the most valuable to me, but have.a thrifty streak. I have to really think about DIY – I can do it but is it worth my time? I do cook, but I can have a good meal with 15-20 min work which is faster than take out. like to cook so we have leftovers and take picnics to sports practice.
4. Ditto the person who said choose your friends wisely: hanging out with people in a higher tax bracket can make you spend more than you can afford just keeping up with the Jones.
So, this is a very tiny thing but I did it today and thought I should post it here. I refill our liquid hand soap containers with laundry detergent (which for us is whatever the current cheap, not too environmentally horrible, not scented version is). This avoids the need to seek out non-antibacterial-soap (which contains chemicals that are endocrine disrupters but doesn’t kill germs any better than … ordinary soap) when I’m shopping and is, of course, absurdly cheap — maybe $3.00 for a gallon? And of course means I’m reusing instead of replacing the soap containers.
Another way to save on hand soap: foaming dispensers. You can buy foaming soap and refill the bottle (I did this for years) but I’m pretty sure I’m still saving money even after “splurging” on pretty bottles. I use approx 1/5 Dr Bronners and 4/5 water. No artificial fragrances to worry about there, but you can do this with any kind of soap to make it last.
Ah, how I love this post! Shining evidence of the ingenuity of the human race, especially, dare I say, yes I do, women. So resourceful and clever.
I am addicted to freecycle.com myself – especially exchanging toys as my kid grows. I get such a burst of satisfaction from knowing I am keeping stuff out of landfill, AND saving money. Ah, yes.
And people come straight to my door to pick things up, it’s wonderful. Not sure how it works in other areas, but for me, it’s been a godsend.