I woke up this morning and hopped cheerfully out of bed, in a really good mood already because of the good thing / good news. By the time I was getting into the shower, it was getting perplexing that I couldn’t remember exactly/specifically what the good thing/news was, or even what category of thing it was (something fun happening today? someone getting married or having a baby? the satisfying resolution of something stressful? did William get good college news? am I leaving on a road trip? is there cake?), but I knew it would come to me soon, and then I’d feel so silly for temporarily forgetting! Now that I am up and I’ve had my coffee, it seems as if the good thing/news must have been part of a dream.
But I was so SURE, when I woke up, that there was something happy and energizing going on! It didn’t FEEL like part of a dream; it felt like “Oh good, I’m awake, and now there is the happy thing to contend with!” And I was so relieved and glad to be waking up happy, because the last few days have been enormously stressful and sad: we finally listed our old house, and I am not coping well, and there is a fair amount of crying by someone, and I am wishing that I could go somewhere that would put me in a medically-induced sleep until it was over, and every morning I have woken up and been immediately slammed with adrenaline and stress as soon as I remember. So THIS morning was such a nice break! Except now I am more concerned about the state of my mind! Because that was really strange! There was nothing good to leap out of bed for, but I hallucinated something!
I’m glad to be getting coffee with a friend later this morning, because that is a good way to hit the mental reset button. And this particular friend is a sensible, confident person, married to a man who is more like me, fretful and anxious, so she is accustomed to dealing with little spin-outs. Plus, sitting in a coffee/pastry shop for a couple of hours makes me smell DELICIOUS.
Congratulations on listing the house! I hope it will solve a lot of problems.
Feeling good when you wake up is just the best.
I am so hopeful that once the house sells you feel some sort of closure – and that the stress/sadness begins to dissipate in earnest. It seems cheering that your brain is ready; maybe that’s what today’s “good thing” was: a preview of good days to come. In the meantime, coffee and conversation sound very useful.
I think your brain is ready to be over the old house, and also YAY coffee with a friend in a place that smells so good that it makes you smell delicious all day.
This happens to me ALL the time. Often it is delightful feeling of relief because something stressful and bizarre (which I typically don’t remember) turns out to have been a dream. And I am awake! In my own bed! But sometimes it is because I dreamed that something I’ve been worried about has been resolved in a particularly great fashion. This is the worse outcome because unfortunately it turns out the thing I was worried about remains unresolved, but it does still lead to a pleasant minute or two upon waking.
How disorienting! I wish you a lovely coffee date and a quick, easy sale with no lingering sadness about the old house. Just gratefulness of all it gave you for all those years and happy memories!
I once took my knitting bag out, the day after I had been knitting in a coffee shop, and was hit in the face by the smell of coffee. It’s a nice smell when you’re in it, but it being that strong the next day seemed wrong. I’m sure the pastries will be a much better lingering scent. Enjoy!
I had a hard time with selling our house, too. Even more than listing, though, dealing with the emotional up/down of would-be buyers was hard. We had two withdraw offers because they brought in contractors to find out how much it would cost to bump out the footprint or finish the basement…and apparently the prices were more than $50,000. Our house was priced fairly for the finished square footage it had, in the condition it was in– it was not priced to cover a >$50,000 project. When we finally sold, I was in a state of half-despair. I didn’t believe the sale was really going to happen until I was sitting in the room, signing the papers.
I was profoundly relieved to sell, though. We were getting farther past the point at which the double mortgage was manageable. (We have a small child and our agent strongly recommended that we be out before we listed. She felt that scheduling around naps, etc. would be too complicated. In retrospect, we should not have taken that advice.)
Oh dear.
I feel you on the house listing. We planned to list ours in May, but our realtor called yesterday and was like, “people want your house! Can we show them tonight??”
So I spent the entire day getting our NOT EVEN CLOSE to show-ready house as show-ready as possible with 3 young children and an ill husband, and they came in and immediately put in an offer for full price, and this is GREAT, but….
I wasn’t ready!
I really assumed it would be on the market for a month or two, and we’d be moving this summer, and not at literally the busiest time of year. (School Director here, getting ready for next year—hiring, revising policies, enrollment, open houses, setting budget, etc..so much to do it’s not even funny.)
ANd my husband is sick and can’t do anything that I would normally force upon him, because I hate hate hate packing and moving. HATE.
And my kids are all emotional about moving.
And I’m getting emotional now that it’s a reality.
And feeling like we’re making a mistake, because we live in a not particularly functional home in a very desirable neighborhood, and we’re moving to an very functional home, great in a much less desirable neighborhood. I mean, it’s safe and totally fine, but many people desperately want to be in our current neighborhood-like, it’s a non-negotiable, and nobody is putting our new neighborhood on their list of “musts”.
And isn’t location the most important thing?! Are we crazy? I think some people think we are. So then I feel like it’s a mistake. Even though I love the new house.
But the new house isn’t going to be ready till summer, so where are we going to live in the meantime?
Can you tell this is all freaking me out??
Although also amazing we don’t have to list and live in the house with 3 kids and dogs and keep it show-ready, because…stress.
Anyway. Good luck on the listing!
That is a lot! Maybe you can rent the house from the new buyers for a few months?
Well, they’re in there until THEY find a house! So, I’m not sure when that will even be!
But thank you. :)
I’m sure something will work out. It’s just all looming right now!
Have you ever gotten so riled up about something you experienced that you obsessed over replaying what you could have done differently? Like what you would have said to that incredibly rude guy at the supermarket, or how you could have played off that embarrassing thing you said, or better yet, what you could have said instead of acting like a twit?
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just forget the irritating/sad/embarrassing thing and remember the alternate scenario as reality? Except isn’t that some sort of mental illness? Sigh.
YES. YES. YES. And, sadly….possibly yes.
I have a theory, that probably a million people before me have thought of-but when I came to it on my own-it was a revelation!! One day I was really thinking about why in the world I focus on the negative things that have happened to me in my life. Not so much what has happened recently, but how I could have responded better in the past. That is when I had my light bulb moment, which is that we focus on the negative because evolutionary wise, that is what kept us alive. Wander off from the fire and almost get eaten by a sabertooth tiger?? Better not do that again! That would stick more than someone saying “wow, nice cave drawing!”. So while we are no longer fighting for our lives (hopefully), we still have that ancient experience. If something makes us feel bad, it sticks with us longer and it is more in the forefront of our brains.
Oh, I like that idea!
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3267018/
Memory rescripting is actually a great way to overcome burdensome memories! Therapists teach people how to do it all the time. :)
I think your brain was remembering the coffee with a friend as the “good thing.” Odds are, once the house has sold (particularly since you’ve already done the HARD part; moving!) you will have the closure you need and will be able to move on. If the market in your area is anything like ours, be ready for that house to move quickly.
I’m glad you had a happy waking feeling. Those are rare for me! Generally the first few minutes are adrenalized for me, and then I can talk myself down as I sit up, walk around, get that first cup of coffee.
They make bakery smelling candles and scent stuff, why don’t they make perfume and shampoo in those scents? I’d go for a pie scented perfume for sure.
I dream that makes you THINK the day is great is a good dream, right? Good luck with the house sale- i agree with the above peeps, hoping it brings you closure. Oh to meet a friend out for coffee sounds DELIGHTFUL! Enjoy!!
I once dreamed that I owned the perfect little dress. It fit wonderfully and made me feel so pretty. When I woke up, I started getting ready for work and opened the closet door, and was astounded that the dress did not exist. I mean, I was straight-up flabbergasted – where did it go?!?
It took so long for me to realize it was only a dream; that’s how realistic the dress and the feelings I got from it were.
It’s been years, and I still think about it sometimes.
tl;dr: Dreams are weird.
You might have dreamed a wonderful thing was happening and then woke up and “lost” the memory of the dream but the good feeling was still there. Sounds like a little, confusing gift from your brain!