I recently took two fun road trips, one to pick up Rob from college for spring break, and one to return him to college afterward. It’s the perfect length for a drive: about 8 hours each way including stops. That’s far enough to justify staying in a motel in between, and I love staying in motels.
Except this time I did not. I felt weird and paranoid and unsettled, starting during dinner and lasting throughout the evening, and when I was supposed to be sleeping I was instead having distressing irrational thoughts such as “What if William slipped and fell on his way home from work, and Paul went to bed early without noticing that he never came home, and he’s out in the dark freezing to death right now???” Fortunately I have a prescription to use for things like this, so I took half a tablet as prescribed, and it did nothing. I took the other half, and it did nothing. For a couple of hours I tried various things to avoid lying in the dark imagining how I’d get everyone out of the house if there were a fire: I put the TV on a soothing channel; I turned the room fan to various temperatures/settings; I put on soothing music; I played Candy Crush while lying down; I counted backwards from 10,000 by threes. Finally I did fall asleep, but it was so disappointing to have wasted a motel room like that.
Because of a complication that is too boring to explain, I also stayed in a motel the next night. This time I was prepared, and took Benadryl awhile before bedtime (Benadryl always knocks me out), and was careful not to eat too many snacks too late in the evening, and I thought it would help that I’d slept poorly the night before—but I STILL had the weird/paranoid/irrational thing happen, and had a lot of trouble sleeping.
I wonder if it’s that I have plenty of time on my own now. When I used to fantasize about motel rooms, it was at least in part because I had children with me ALL THE TIME: the constant noise! the constant touching! the constant needs! the constant mess! A motel room seemed like an oasis of quiet and clean and alone. But now everyone’s in school during the day and I have large daily doses of alone time. That may have shifted the whole motel thing around, so that now being alone/quiet doesn’t feel so exhilarating. Maybe now what I need is a party cruise or something.
When I brought Rob back at the end of the week, I asked Elizabeth if she wanted to go with us, and she did. That changed the WHOLE DYNAMIC. After we dropped Rob off, she and I went to Target to get more Pringles for the drive home (we were perilously low), and then we went out to dinner. We got back to the motel room at about 6:30, decided it was too early to be back at the motel, and went out to a couple of stores where we bought a mouse-shaped planter (Elizabeth), a pretty green cocktail glass (me), and more junk food (both). We returned to the hotel between 8:00 and 8:30, changed into our pjs, and each made a nest of snacks and phones and pillows on our respective queen-sized beds. We watched Trading Spaces, which I hadn’t seen in years and Elizabeth had never seen (Elizabeth: “That is a BAD PLAN.” “WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT.” “Who ARE these people??”) and then we were channel-flipping and found the 2016 Ghostbusters movie and watched the middle section of that while playing games on our phones and eating snacks.
We had a great time. Plus, this meant I had someone to play “Pop Song or CHRISTIAN Pop Song?” with in the car on the way there AND on the way back: I can play that game alone, but I’m so good at it and prefer to have someone along to be impressed. At home I have all my radio stations pre-set so I never end up accidentally listening to a Christian station, but road trips are FULL of such misunderstandings. “Whenever I am in doubt…” the singer sings, and I say “It’s Christian,” and the child says, “What? Why?,” and I shrug humbly. I know I am right, before we even get to the part where they sing something more obvious like “…the glory of your kingdom…” or “…give my heart to you, O Lord,” or make some reference to pastures/shepherds/sacrifices/sins/purifying.
The best ones are when we really can’t tell, and then it takes a twist that would be horrifying in a pop song and so it is abruptly and startlingly clear it is a Christian song. Like, the song goes “No one has ever loved me like you do,” and that’s nice, and then it goes “You have all my love,” and that’s nice and you hope this nice couple will have a happy life together, and then it goes to “I am washed clean in your blood” and !!!!! And the children have not grown up with this kind of talk as I did, so it sounds even more thrillingly shocking to them.
Car Pringles are the best Pringles. Sour Cream and Onion is my favorite.
When I was about Elizabeth’s age, my mom explained to me that there are some special gas station foods that you only eat on road trips, and it’s probably just some random thing she thought of and then promptly forgot but now it’s gonna be passed down to her grandchildren as one of our most cherished family traditions whether she likes it or not.
Yes, I think this is a thing that somehow happens organically in families. Ours are frozen Cokes and those insanely sugary Sweet Tarts and Sweet Tart offshoots (chewy Sweet Tarts, Sweet Tart ropes, Shock Tarts, etc). It’s a good thing we don’t travel very often or else we would all have diabetes.
We always do Starburst candy! The rest is variable depending on mood.
Beef jerky, peach rings, and cups of mini oreos. It is decreed. (Also, I can no longer afford beef jerky on the regular, jeez.)
Oh, my gosh! Pop song or Christian pop song is my new favorite game. I am the only one in our congregation who haaaaaates CPS and it is sometimes brutal isolation. Fortunately, Husband is there to intercept my eyerolls and gaggy noises as we repeat the same cringe-worthy phrase for the eighth time IN A ROW.
“I could sing of Your love forever”… and ever… and ever… and ever… and ever…
I play the same game on road trips and feel very smug when I am nearly always correct! You can’t fool me Christian radio :) My spouse is surprisingly bad at this game, but he was raised in Southern California and I was raised in rural Indiana so I obviously have the upper-hand.
I had never heard of Pop Song or Christian Pop Song but I am IN for my next road trip.
Thinking about you and Elizabeth chilling in the hotel room is making me smile (my favorite part of parenting is just hanging out with my kids).
We are driving to Western NY from Maryland and back two weekends in a row in April (Admitted Students Days at colleges, which I hope will help the boy make up his mind already) and I’ve been looking forward to the road trips. At least the first one (two in such close proximity might be too much, but we’ll see.)
FWIW, Admitted Student Days brought dazzling clarity to my kid last year.
Husband took all the kids out of town except my teen daughter. We watched ‘Murder, She Wrote’ and ate fun things like pejibayes (peach palm fruit) and sushi from the grocery store, and candy. She’s like a built in friend. I asked her not to go away to college.
Those songs have become less appalling and foolish now that I’ve gained more understanding. Christianity needs better PR .
“Counted from 10,000 backwards by 3s”!!! :-)
That’s my thing! I do that when I get fizzy brain and can’t sleep. It tends to make my inner voices shut up so I can concentrate on counting. I’m so sorry it didn’t work for you on the trip, Swistle! But so glad you got your daughter as a companion on the last trip.
i love this, hah!
doh, this was meant to be in reply to Kerry’s comment..
(I mean, i love this post as well, but it was a pretty generic comment to be to the entire post / story / excellentness of christian-pop song guessing)
SWISTLE!!! Your road trip with Elizabeth makes me even more impatient for my three-month-old daughter to grow to be, like, fourteen. I forgot about Trading Spaces and all the crazy things they forced people to do to their neighbors’ houses. Glue hay to the walls? HILDI, WHO DOES THAT?! (I am assuming you mean the TLC home show and not the Eddie Murphy movie. If you mean the latter, then disregard.)
Yes, the TLC home show! They brought Hildi on for a cameo, just to freak out the homeowners by making them think she was doing their house!
I love that this story has a happy ending!
I vote we all go on a party cruise and play “christian or non christian” rock songs as an activity. I’ve found myself playing this by mistake. And christian radio has really infiltrated. It used to be southern Maine was country, country, country, static, country, static, prog-rock, static, NPR, classic rock. But now there is at least one and maybe more where you’re all “OH HEAVEN’S IT’S A JESUS STATION!” They do suck you in if you’re not paying attention.
Oh, Swistle … you and I both know my comment wasn’t offensive. Why such a narrow mind? I still love your writing but will fight the urge to keep coming back. Enjoy the pringles
Hi! First-time commenters have their comments automatically sent to moderation, where I have to hit “approve” before the comment will appear; I’m not always at my computer, so that sometimes takes time. This is the first time you’ve commented using this commenting name, so it was sent to moderation.
I think you know your first comment IS bit jerkish (the lyrics seem less appalling/foolish now that you’ve “gained more understanding”?). Then you said ANOTHER jerkish thing in your next comment! I don’t tolerate much jerkishness in the comments; keep it up and I will not fight the urge to delete.
I apologize for my impatience then. I get it now.
But really, How is “I’ve gained more understanding “ a bit jerkish to you? Seems ultra sensitive of you. From my subjective experience,yes (!) I’ve gained more understanding of my need for a higher power
which, for me, is now Christ centered, that’s all. I wasn’t raised in a Christian home. In fact , a very worldly , self – sufficient/self -centered one which in my case lead to poor choices. I’m grateful.
It’s because you’re saying that people who find those lyrics foolish/appalling find them foolish/appalling because they have less understanding than you do. And you’re giving that opinion to a group of people who find those lyrics foolish/appalling, including people who are Christians like you are. So you’re saying that the reason you have a different opinion is that your understanding is higher than theirs, which is condescending/jerkish.
My mom does this. It’s infuriating. We would have a disagreement, and she would say, “Oh Kristin, you’ll learn.” I finally had to tell her I never wanted to hear that phrase again.
I’m betting the Christians here would agree with me, but I see are smarter and wouldn’t dare express that knowing Swistle wouldn’t tolerate any other view. How on earth did you navigate college/life/friends in general if you find a MILDLY expressed difference of opinion offensive to you? I understand that this is your blog but it’s similar to a friend group. I wouldn’t want to live that way. It’s really nbd and I’ll give it a rest now.
This is not about different opinions, this is about expressing those opinions in jerkish and insulting ways, which you are continuing to do. You’re currently attacking my entire LIFE because of a disagreement you imagine we’re having, when we are not actually disagreeing: you’re talking about whether Christian song lyrics are foolish/appalling when heard as Christian song lyrics, while I was talking about how I find it fun to see how quickly I can tell if a song is Christian or not, and how the lyrics can sound appalling if you think you are listening to a romantic love song (it WOULD BE appalling for a non-Christian romantic love song to casually discuss being cleansed in blood). The only thing we are actually disagreeing about is whether you are “mildly expressing a difference of opinion” or “being kind of jerkish and insulting,” and it doesn’t seem to me as if further discussion is going to lead to agreement on that.
I do hope you will indeed give it a rest now. You have left many perfectly pleasant comments under different names, so I am not sure what has changed, but you are acting very oddly and I am not sure what to do about it.
I’m… not sure there is a Christian rock/pop station when I live? Maybe I’ve just never noticed, or maybe it’s a US thing?
I did a road trip with my 13-year-old daughter two weekends ago – we visited my best friend from university, but her daughter is older than mine and already attends the same university my BFF and I did, and they live nearby there, so we did a mini-tour since my daughter is interested in that sort of thing already. It was super-fun! And on the way home we detoured to my favourite brunch place in Toronto where I had French toast stuffed with apples, cheese, and caramelized onions with a nice vinegary side salad, and she had mini waffles covered with bananas, espresso custard, and real maple syrup, and we split our mains 50/50 and got fancy hot drinks and fresh juice. It’s been 6 years since I was in Toronto and it was worth the wait for that meal! Road trips are definitely better with our kids once they get old enough to really hang out with as people!
I can not stop thinking about this French toast. So odd and very enticing. Savory/sweet? Good balance? Any chance you could share the restaurant. My friend is taking his family to Toronto this summer, would love for him to try it.
Also, jealous of Elizabeth getting to road trip with you, Swistle. I find your writing/the way your mind works so entertaining. This isn’t something I could really enjoy with my mom. It sounds lovely.
Happy to recommend this place. It’s a hole in the wall, no-frills setting called Saving Grace (It’s near Grace St. and I think it’s the owner’s middle name if I recall correctly). It’s apparently got huge lineups on weekends, but we walked right in on a Monday around 11:00.
It was delicious enough that I remembered it, went out of my way to go there, and ordered it again after all that time! It was savoury and rich, and the salad cut through the richness nicely. It was fun doing 50/50 with my daughter’s sweet choice too. Nice variety.
Thank you!
Oh hey, was this Trading Spaces the original being rerun? I hear there’s a reboot in the works, but don’t know if it has started yet or not. I used to love that show! Many a late night nursing session was spent in front of the TV watching it.
It was the same people I remember, but they were all MUCH OLDER, so it might have been the reboot—or it might just have been quite a long time since I’ve watched it!
Yes, the second season of the reboot just started. Most of the same cast (Paige, Doug, Hildi, Frank, Laurie, etc.) but some new faces too. They doubled the budget since $1000 doesn’t go as far as it did almost 20 years ago!
Fun! Do Ty and Vern still seem to get on each other’s nerves?
You need to listen to Good Christian Fun! (Podcast) Especially very early episodes when they’re hitting the biggest touchstones of 90’s Christian pop culture – and the point is pretty much to say “yeah, that was WEIRD.” The hosts are kinda-sorta Christian, but mostly there to critique or fully make fun.
But, anyway, their most recent episode is a game of WOW or NOW. As in, can you guess whether this song was on a WOW CD or a NOW one. It’s so fun.
Thanks for the podcast rec! I’m listening to the episode about DCTalk now! 😀
Addicted! I am on my THIRD episode, Jesabes!
Jessica I mean!
Glad to see someone recommended this podcast! I am nonreligious, but I find it really charming and thoughtful. I love hearing the guests’ different faith experiences.
This kind of media guessing game is right up my alley and I’ll test it as soon as possible! Our family’s current version of a similar thing is What Is This An Ad For? You have to try to guess as soon as possible if it’s one of those esoteric ads for perfume, jeans, occasionally cars, etc.
To the other substance of your post I recently re-examined where I was at with the personal space thing too. When my kids were younger my happy place/mind palace/whatever you want to call it was the idea of being alone in a small house in a sunny woodsy area totally and completely alone for days. Now I realize somewhere along the line it’s changed to someplace fun (beach, new city, etc) with good friends or family – i.e., other people. I guess my kids are at an age where I finally get enough alone time most of the time. It was kind of a surprise to find myself here…
Oh Swistle! I love love love my boys and don’t wish anything was different, but I imagine if I had a daughter how much fun mother-daughter road trips could be. It sounds glorious, absolutely glorious. Also what is it with Pringles? They are SO artificial but MY GOD I love those unnaturally perfect chips. Mmmm. I could go for some right this second.
This is giving me hope. I leave this weekend on a 16-hour road trip with just my 12 year old daughter. We’re in a pretty good spot right now, getting along in general. Hopefully this trip doesn’t undo it. I’m trying to plan little fun stops along the way, and on the way back. In any case, it’s not as desperate as packing for a 6 hour flight when she was 3!
One of the Winter Guard* groups in the same circuit as my daughter’s group is using I Can Only Imagine as their song, but their coach/dj/media guy changed all the Jesus lyrics to be more … mainstream. Ish.
Instead of “surrounded by your glory/what will my heart feel/will I dance before you Jesus” it’s something like “…what will my heart feel/will we dance together forever” etc.
It’s meant to be sweet and bring Lost Loved Ones to mind, but I am allergic to having my heart strings tugged and so I just get irritated at the attempt and cringe the whole time.
*Im never sure how many people know about Winter Guard and Color Guard. CG is flags and rifles and sabres spun by teenaged girls in marching band. Winter Guard is the same thing, in the winter time, without the marching band.
I cannot do an 8 hr drive alone. Hotel stop or not. I can barely make it to pick my daughter up from Irish dancing without nodding off. My 2 girls ages 14 and 11 and I have done a ton of road trips for Irish dancing and these trips have become more enjoyable. The last one was just 14 yr old and myself. She read the ridiculous book I was reading aloud to help me stay awake. The book was so awful, we could not stop laughing. We were howling. It is ‘Michael Flatley’s Lord of the Dance’ about his Irish dancing career. Let’s just say he is very, VERY full of himself. Not meant to be comedic, but hard to take seriously. Might try your song game out as we leave for Tampa thursday. From Chicago.
First, I want to say mom/daughter hotel time sounds like an absolute dream. There’s very little I love more than sister hotel time, and now I can look forward to offspring hotel time in the future. Love! Now on to my main excitement: Oh MAN, Pop Song or Christian Pop Song is the best!!!
I usually drive to work but couldn’t today. The driver picked me up from my job at a Jewish organization, he fiddled with the radio, and lo and behold, my spidey senses tingle and we are listening to Christian Pop for the next 25 minutes! This has now happened twice of the four total app rides I have taken to/from work. I take it as an interfaith moment of solidarity, sharing audio-space and listening to “bring me to the cross.”
Now, my husband, also Jewish, actually likes CPS, especially the songs more about God and less about Jesus/cross/sin/savior/grace/etc. so we listen to the local Christian station in the car sometimes. I grew up in an area where both country and CPS were very popular. My PS/CPS meter is FINELY HONED.
This post gives me hope that someday I will be able to take one of my kids on a fun road trip without the other three making my life miserable. At this point, any fun thing has to include either ALL of them or NONE of them. The fun of the road trip is not worth the wrath of the unincluded child. I can only imagine the righteous indignation. “You went to TARGET!?!?! YOU ATE PRINGLES!?!?!?!? WITHOUT US?!?!?!?!?”
This! So much this! You have my life! You will all get fun stuff if you allow someone else to have something fun WITHOUT you! Gah! People you make life miserable.
Oh, I LOVE a road trip!! I drove from Chicago to Alaska with my sister, and I swear we subsisted on pounds of Reese’s peanut butter cups, and out of the way diner food.
One of my favorite road trips was to visit again, my daughter’s choice of college-this time just me and her to kind of look around the town more. It was July, the roads were almost totally clear, and we had the best time singing to the radio and chatting. On the way home, she started reading aloud Fault in Our Stars, and I started crying so much I had to pull over!
Road trip snacks-I always like salty with a bit a chocolate on the side. Well, now that I’ve graduated from my diet of Reese’s peanut butter cups, that was in 1991! Some chips, and some good chocolate really hit the spot. Oh, we also always pack ham with havarti on kaiser rolls. No idea why, but now it is a tradition. You can go for quite a way with no place to eat, so we make sure we pack food and water.
Pringles are a funny thing to me, I never crave them and I’d never buy them for a snack for myself. But if I’m in a car, and I have a few-give me that tube!!
I want to take a road trip where we can play Pop or Christian Pop – that sounds hilarious! It reminds me of a series of videos, probably on YouTube now but I am pretty sure I watched them on someone’s website before YouTube since it was about 2003, called “Jesus Christ: SuperCop” and they were so funny. Yes, I think this is something that is only amusing for folks who were raised religious, and are no longer. Many of the jokes would be lost of people who weren’t familiar with the bible.
I loved this post so much. Every bit of it: amazing and poignant description of an anxious/insomniac night, the type of road trip I aspire to someday with my still-young kids, and OMG CPS game—hilarious! My mom went through an intensely Christian phase in the midst of a divorce when I was a young adolescent. I still have some schlocky Amy Grant songs permanently in my head from car trips during that period. But alas, not fun road trips like yours. I bet I would rock that game based on my life experience. Can’t wait to try.