Until this morning, I had not shaved my legs in over three months. Closer to four months. This was the first time I’d ever stopped shaving my legs: I started shaving at around age 12, the day a cute boy swam underwater at the pool and grabbed my ankle, and there have been only brief pauses since. Like, I would go a week, sure. But I never Stopped Shaving until around November of last year when the stresses involved in moving from one house to another, combined with feeling as if I could not handle even one more unnecessary chore, combined with spending the last few years being particularly pissed about the patriarchy, combined with resenting my own personal white male husband for feeling free to make this move despite my misery, combined with being freezing all the time in the new house—all of these things led to a shaving cessation that was at first accidental and then became increasingly deliberate.
Like, at first I just had skipped shaving for a few days because I was busy and stressed. Then it had been a couple of weeks because I was feeling sad and was looking for all the small ways to Do Less. I’m not sure when it switched to being more of a stance/experiment/THING. There was a longish prickly stage, but at a certain point all the leg hair had grown out, and it was surprising to me how soft/unnoticeable it was in FEEL. I could certainly SEE it, and my legs looked unfamiliar to me, and I didn’t like the look—but the hair was very soft and fairly straight, and my legs didn’t FEEL hairy or coarse like guys’ legs do. And I did think it might actually make me warmer, since that is what body hair is FOR.
And also: I was feeling a fair amount of rage on the topic of MEN AND THEIR OPINIONS ABOUT WOMEN’S BODIES, so that was motivating. I should say here that Paul has never said a single word about women’s body hair, nor has he indicated with so much as a glance that he even HAS an opinion, nor did he comment on the leg hair experiment and I’m not sure he even noticed. BUT MEN IN GENERAL.
Then it got to the point where I felt almost like I couldn’t start shaving again, even if I wanted to: it was like when you grow your head-hair long and then you get tired of it and/or remember all the reasons you don’t wear your hair long, but now it feels like you can’t cut it or you’ll lose all that time/progress. Or like when you grow out bangs: there’s a hurdle to get over, and once you’ve suffered through that hurdle, it feels wrong to reset the situation. On the other hand, I didn’t like the way my legs looked, and I DID want to start shaving again before warmer weather, so it was only a matter of choosing WHEN. I picked up a razor now and then, but each time put it back down.
The last week or so I’ve been feeling more as if the only thing stopping me was the feeling of Investment: I didn’t want the leg hair anymore, and wasn’t having fun with the experiment anymore. I gave it time (we still have more winter to shiver through) but this morning I’d had enough and I picked up the razor and I’m back to patriarchy legs. They really do feel chillier.
I hope spring comes soon!
I like the way hairless legs feel, but I’ve moved to sporadic waxing — sporadic not because of waiting for hair to grow out but because hair removal rarely makes it to the top of my to-do list. I am fighting the patriarchy through sloth.
Fighting the patriarchy through sloth. OMG PERFECT.
I usually don’t shave from November through March unless i have to wear a dress for some reason.
same
I’m kind of at the opposite place. I stopped shaving my legs at 19 because I liked the way they looked unshaved, but now perimenopause (I think) has made the hair very patchy and I’m thinking of shaving it all off until it evens out. But then if my legs were shaved, how would I know when that was?
My patriarchal opposition through sloth has been ongoing for many years! (Mainly, I am Very Lazy, and I have very fine hair, so unless I go a good 6 months I’m really the only one who can tell. So I’ll shave before beach vacations or fancy leg-baring parties but otherwise I am living the sloth life. )
I hate shaving. Mainly because I am so bad at it. I always miss spots. It never seems to completely work.
So in the winter I go a month between shaving. Every month I have a massage and I’ll shave the day before that. But I know I miss spots and I know I’m not fooling anyone.
Oh well.
I refer to my non-patriarchy legs as my winter legs. Once it gets warm enough for actual shorts, I’ll Nair it all off and razor-touchup for the rest of the summer. I’d go winter legs forever, but for bathing suits.
Shaving is my least favorite obligatory grooming habit. I really wish I didn’t feel like it was obligatory. I have dark, thick hair, so it feels spiky almost immediately. And it is noticeable within a day if I don’t shave. So it is not comfortable, and I’m always cold. I have loved it when I lived in cold weather and could give it up for months at a time. But my favorite exercise is swimming, and I’m not confident enough to not shave when regularly wearing a bathing suit. I wish this tradition would go away. I hate whoever started shaved legs as a thing. Hate them.
Patriarchy legs! Love the term, and good for you for doing what YOU want to do. I have dark leg hair, which I shave just a few times a year, when I want to. I live in an area, fortunately, where not shaving is Perfectly Acceptable. My hairy ankles peek out at work and that’s fine. As for underarms, I’ll let it grow, but when it gets uncomfortably long, I use a trimmer to make it shorter or go ahead and shave or wax. I don’t personally feel comfortable with my armpits unshaven AND on display, but I wear sleeves the vast majority of the time. Lots of women around here have hairy armpits and legs. Embrace the mammal-hood!
Patriarchy legs! I love it.
I stopped shaving my legs sometime in my 20’s. I used to shave for special occasions but now I think I’ve shaved once in the last 6 years. It helps that my leg hair is pretty light and fine, despite my head hair being dark. I don’t enjoy shaving and I don’t feel like it’s good for my body, and I don’t like that society tells me what to do with my perfectly normal body hair. So I don’t do it. I do shave my pits because I don’t like the feeling (or smell) of armpit hair. I don’t begrudge anyone who wants to shave their leg hair. I DO begrudge men who have opinions about what women should do with their bodies.
It’ll be interesting to see what my daughter thinks about shaving legs. She’s only 4 now, so hopefully we still have a long time before she notices or cares about leg hair.
Ooh, this reminds me of the discussion surrounding Elizabeth and whether to teach her to shave! Did you point out the advantages of hairy legs? That seems like an easy, natural way to discuss patriarchy legs!
Yes, I am curious about the Elizabeth situation too.
I stopped shaving for patriarchy reasons in 2009. (Wow! My ten-year hairiversary is coming up!) I was ready to present all of my reasons, but I quickly realized nobody cared. (Except my mother, of course!) But then I have learned that gay ladies get a lot more leeway around this kind of thing anyway.
Now I am also curious about whether Paul even NOTICED…
I hate shaving my legs and luckily have fine blonde hair so I just don’t bother most of the time. I do shave during shorts season (so like June through September-ish) but other than that it’s sporadic. My husband has never said anything and I don’t think he notices either way. Also I never shave above my knees and never have because it seems pointless I guess.
Oh how I hate shaving. I mostly do not bother in the winter. The only decent part of winter, if you ask me!
So I went through a few years of not shaving my legs in my 20s, but when I was in the process of becoming a fitness instructor I became part of a culture where the norm is smooth, shiny bodies. I didn’t like shaving though, so I went with home waxing, and then eventually changed to an epilator. My leg hair was always relatively fine and after ripping it out for a number of years it’s become even finer and is now quite sparse, so I only need to do it maybe once every month or even less? Like, I’m probably due now (and could have done it a couple of weeks ago), but I don’t think I’ve done it since before we went on vacation in mid-January. This all applies to only below-the-knee though – I can’t even see hair on my legs above the knee without peering really closely.
As for underarms, I dry-shave over the sink every couple of days before I shower. No creams or lotions required, and I only get razor-burn if I have a relatively new and sharp razor (one disposable lasts me at least a year – I don’t have to be ginger about it after the first couple of weeks, and I only change razors when my current one dulls to the point of no longer cutting the hair at all). I think others might have issues with this method though, since I know some people are prone to ingrown hairs, razor burn, etc.
I’ve told my 13 year old daughter that this is what works for me, but she’s welcome to remove hair or leave it as she wants, using whatever methods she prefers. She seems to be following my example for the most part though, and asked for an epilator the Christmas before last.
I’m so lazy about this, it’s less of a *decision* and more of a ‘meh, is there any reason I need to do this?’
So I probably shave about once a month during the winter months, but go back to every other day when it’s warmer. My husband appears not to care and tbh even if he did I don’t think he would be unwise enough to jeopardise his sex life by making any comment. Also I’m now pregnant and it’s getting harder to do! I do my underarms though – just personal preference.
Fighting the patriarchy through sloth. yep. The patriarchy wants your time and your money.
i just did the some thing. Stopped shaving somewhere around Christmas and shaved this weekend because we were having pictures taken and I didn’t want my leg hair in them.
I am back to not shaving. It was so liberating. It only looked weird, I didn’t notice the feel once I got over the stubbly stage.
I’ve been epilating since college and have found it to be the perfect lazy approach if you want hair removal. It takes the same amount of time as shaving, except you only need to do it once a week on dry skin. Hair grows back with the natural soft tip, not the stubble you get from shaving. Works on armpits, bikini area, legs, wherever. It stings a little the first few times, but the more times you remove hair follicles, the longer it generally takes hair to grow back.
Word of warning: your mileage may vary on epilating different areas. I’m not saying don’t try it, but don’t be disappointed if it’s not a perfect whole-body solution for you.
As mentioned above, I also use an epilator on my legs for all the advantages Terry lists. But I can’t use it on my bikini line because my skin in that area is a lot more delicate and thin, and the one time I tried it the machine actually pinched and even tore my skin in some places instead of just grabbing onto the hairs. It wasn’t as painful and bloody as it sounds… but it wasn’t entirely pain- or blood-free either, and I ended up with multiple tiny blood blisters from the pinching. I’ve never tried it on my underarms, but suspect it might be the same there for me and my underarms are pretty sensitive anyway and the dry-shaving thing I described already works for me so I’ve never felt a strong need to epilate there.
I’ve been shaving my legs everyday for the last 25+ years. Why? Because I want to. That’s what “fighting the patriarchy” means to me. Doing what I want because I want to.
You are in line with the patriarchy on this one. Which is more than fine, and not anti feminist, but not feminist either. Doing what you want to do, when it upholds asymmetrical patriarchal norms, is not smashing the patriarchy. Nobody should ever find it so.
Yes! Like, I can choose to be an at-home mom: feminism supports the idea of women making their own choices about stuff like that. But I’m not smashing any patriarchy with that choice.
YES THIS SO MUCH very well put
I wear skirts almost every day to work through spring and summer. I shave once a week during those times, because I thought to myself “have I literally ever looked at another woman’s legs and thought they needed a shave? No? Then why would anyone else notice mine?”
Last winter (September-end of May here) I did not shave. Beginning of June I had them waxed for the first time and it was amazing. I think I shaved them one other time during the summer. This winter I shaved them at the end of October because I was visiting my son in Florida and would be wearing dresses etc that showed my legs and ugh hot weather. I don’t plan on shaving my legs again until I get a wax at the beginning of June. I’m disabled so shaving is hard and not worth it, I live in the North so it’s cold/snowing for a long time. It works out, I feel mildly eff the patriarchy. I would feel it more if my body worked and shaving more frequently wasn’t so hard for me.
I too am curious if you ever had the shaving discussion with Elizabeth!
I recently ended a long time of not shaving my legs too. I wanted to wear rolled up capri jeans and prefer smooth legs but hadn’t shaved all winter. When summer comes I will shave before shorts days but generally I don’t care unless it’s a public thing.
I went with the advice to just sort of casually offer, like “Hey, if you want me to show you how to shave, just let me know,” combined with making shaving stuff available in the bathroom so that she’ll have the supplies if she watches a video instead of asking me.