I have mentioned before that Tipsy Swistle is a cheery little chore-doing house elf. Another thing I have mentioned before (I should just cut-and-paste today’s post out of snippets from old posts, or make it a series of links to other posts) is that what I would really like for Valentine’s Day every year is a heart-shaped box of nice chocolates, and that for whatever reason that does not seem to be something Paul can/will do, and so over the years I have come up with a work-around to reduce resentment and increase happiness: we go out to dinner (but not ON Valentine’s Day, because of crowds) for our joint Valentine’s Day gift (with cocktails and dessert, so it’s fancy), and I buy myself the box of chocolates (often after Valentine’s Day, to get them at 50% off).
I’m not saying this is a great solution, or entirely free of hard feelings (is it really SO VERY DIFFICULT to go into a store and buy a heart-shaped box of chocolates once a year??) but it means there ARE chocolates in a heart-shaped box and there IS some sort of Valentine’s Day acknowledgement, which I DO want, and I realize many people DON’T want that, and that’s fine too and maybe one of those people should have married Paul and spent many happy years calling it a Hallmark holiday or whatever.
This year I wanted a box of See’s chocolates: the keto diet means I eat less candy than I used to, and so when I DO eat candy I like it to be Ultimate Candy. But I dithered with it in my cart. Even with the current shipping deal, shipping was still $5 on top of what was already some very expensive chocolate; and it cost another $6 extra to get the heart-shaped box, and is that REALLY worth it for something I will likely end up throwing away after keeping it for way too long because it seems as if I really ought to be able to find another use for such a pretty box? And probably I should just get the usual 50%-off box of non-See’s from Target.
Well. Tipsy Swistle did not think these were reasonable concerns and just went ahead and hit “Complete order” (after adding a box of the peanut brittle chocolate bars I love) and then cycled the laundry and cleaned out a pitcher and gave the kitchen floor a quick touch-up mopping. This morning I am very grateful for all of those things: the nearly-empty laundry baskets; the floor, which yesterday afternoon was making me crabby with its smudges; but especially for the order confirmation from See’s in my inbox.
I love that Tipsy Swistle is so good to you! Tipsy Bailey just wants to eat carbs and sing show tunes. 😑
I know you have talked about that candy for years and it wasn’t until one of my bosses at work gave us a box of it for Christmas one year that I finally understood. I get migraines from a lot of chocolate so at first I was afraid (not petrified but afraid) and then I ate it and I didn’t get sick. And it was the most delicious candy I had ever eaten. It was like my version of Turkish delight I just wanted to eat and eat and eat. And I often go to the website and put stuff in the cart and then I’m like wow that’s a lot of money for chocolate and I don’t order it. Particularly since I am also diabetic :-( but I do love the candy. So. Much.
YES, like what I imagined when I imagined Turkish Delight!!! Particularly the butterscotch squares, which are like melty brown-sugar fudge coated with chocolate. THAT’S what Edmund should be eating: butterscotch squares.
The title of this and the resolution of the last paragraph are just delightful.
But it does suck that Paul won’t do the one little thing you want. I’m sorry about that.
I am just so happy that you are still blogging. Your series about Sees chocolates was a real bright spot in a hard time of my life. Also, around that time I ordered a custom box from Sees and it was a real splurge but I kept it in my nightstand and everything about it made me happy.
Sometimes husbands are dingbats. Glad Tipsy Swistle has your back.
I think of you every time I have See’s. And that reminds me…..I just received a catalog from them!
THANK YOU, Tipsy Swistle, for teaching me that household chores are much better…tipsy. Honest to god, I am 64 today and, until a few years ago, it never occurred to me that a glass of wine before scrubbing the floor was a brilliant idea.
Tipsy Swistle sounds amazing! And good for you for finding a Valentine’s Day solution that works for you. My birthday is the day after Valentine’s. It’s then also my husband’s birthday, our wedding anniversary and sometimes (it depends on when Easter falls) UK Mother’s Day all within the following 3 weeks. My husband, bless him, is a TRYER. But that’s too many occasions for his brain to deal with, so often Valentine’s is kicked to the curb. Plus this year my birthday is not only the day after Valentine’s (obviously that part never changes!) but a Friday. Which means that on one of the maybe 2 nights we might pay for a sitter and go out for dinner, it’s all overpriced fixed menus and nasty red roses. WOE. I think I need some fancy chocolates. And did I mention I’m pregnant so I can’t even become tipsy? WOE IS ME. Although the pregnant part I am not woeful about, just to be clear.
Have I ever commented about the time I was in a rental car in Los Angeles with my husband and we got semi-lost and happened to drive past the See’s factory? It smelled amazing and just exuded a powerful happy vibe even with the chaotic LA traffic.
Paul, get it together!
I had a boyfriend who was a real POS in many ways, but one of the most irritating things he did was one year on Valentine’s Day, after I got him a very nice gift, he gave me a Valentine’s Day card that said, “It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m thinking of you as always…” and on the inside, it said, “…but now you have a card to prove it!” and he DID NOT EVEN SIGN THE CARD OR WRITE ANYTHING IN IT. This is not the reason why we broke up, but it felt like such a dagger at the time and I still wonder what kind of sociopath does that. Oh, he also said “Valentime’s Day” instead of “Valentine’s Day,” which is still not the reason why we broke up.
omg did not even sign it
My parents once had an anniversary card that they signed, but on post-it notes, so they could take off the last post-it note and pass it back and forth each year.
But that was after enough years of marriage that they both knew they would both get a kick out of it. So. Not only “results may vary” but “results are *incredibly* unlikely to match this experience” and also not at *all* recommended for boyfriends, eugh. (or for marriages where you have fewer than 20 years of mutual-sense-of-humor experience to go by)
The “is it really so hard to do the one thing once a year” resonates, because it is how I feel about anniversary flowers. Sigh. I LIKE FLOWERS. I know some people think they are a waste of money but to me that is partly what makes them SPECIAL.
Anyway, I am very glad that Tipsy Swistle understands priorities. And that you will have a lovely box of delicious chocolate in your hands soon.
Some years we do Valentine’s Day and others we don’t, it just depends. But my husband, bless him, is way better about it than I am. Last year he went down in the basement and pulled out all the old Valentine’s from previous years (I didn’t realize he had kept so many) and we re-signed the card we gave each other on our first Valentine’s day as a married couple (38 years ago!). It was so romantic (in my mind anyway). If Valentine’s Day were on a weekend we might go out, but we’ll see what happens.
I grew up in Los Angeles, where See’s was readily available no shipping required, and the candy treat of the year was a box of strawberry creams my mom would buy me on Valentine’s. Frankly, the fact that tipsy Swistle would boldly place the order proves beyond shadow of a doubt that you are not, as my ten year old would say, a crazy butthole.
Tipsy Swistle just inspired Sober Me to order Valentine’s Day candy from my favorite candy provider and add on my favorite sour old fashioned lemon drops. I used to be able to pick up their candy in the grocery store in the Minneapolis area, but since we moved away I either have to remember to buy it on trips back to MN or order online.
Oooo. I live in the Twin Cities area and like lemon flavored things. What should I be picking up?
Yes, me too! Abdallah by chance?
I love the title! Tipsy Swistle and the Insurance Debacle. Tipsy Swistle and the Housecleaners of Dread.
I am so glad that what Tipsy Swistle does is an occasion of joy, not regret! That is very helpful. As are good chocolates and not feeling guilty about them.
A heart-shaped box of chocolates IS NOT A DIFFICULT THING TO ACQUIRE IN JANUARY OR FEBRUARY. I just saw like eight different kinds getting groceries at my local Co-Op.
I love Tipsy Swistle! Tipsy Nicole mostly just goes on twitter and then goes to bed early.
My husband’s company is giving everyone in the buildings he manages a small box of See’s for Valentine’s, and he is in charge of ordering for over 10,000 people. It’s a LOT.
Tipsy Swistle sounds like a gem! Tipsy Me stuffs her face with snacks and falls asleep on the couch, leaving the kitchen a mess, laundry undone, next day’s to-do list unwritten.
This will be the year of See’s candies for us! I’m excited to try them. Just placed the order.
Jesse has never bought be a valentine’s card even though I have asked for one every year. He hates cut flowers (too bad, *I* like them) so he got me a flowering plant a couple times until we moved in together (he does not like plants in the house) and then I got… nothing. I always make or get him a card and renew our AAA roadside membership (we have separate finances). I felt empowered by Tipsy Swistle and just bought myself a favorite romance movie (Firelight) on DVD for Valentine’s Day.
I absolutely ADORE Tipsy Swistle and continually hope that she will inspire Tipsy Gigi one day.
I’m a non-drinker but perhaps need to rethink that. I’m also wondering whether this is how my teacher-colleagues get through their marking.
I love See’s but have never seen those peanut brittle bars. They look AMAZING. That’s clearly next on my list, thank you Swistle.