After I wrote about anticipating a post-holiday crash, the crash occurred—or possibly it was not a post-holiday crash but only another house/move-related crash, happening by chance in the post-holiday time. I will summarize for posterity: lots of thoughts such as “If Paul were to die suddenly in a car accident [*performs superstitious ritual to keep words from suddenly/magically manifesting as reality*], I would IMMEDIATELY sell this house and move back to the other one”—and then sort of daydreaming about that, instead of recoiling in horror. Or, similarly, experiencing one of my sudden usual fearful feelings about dying in a car accident myself, and then thinking sort of optimistically that the upside would be that I wouldn’t have to deal with the house/move anymore.
People who say “Trust your gut!” aren’t dealing with the same gut a lot of us have, are they? Because MY gut says “OH MY GOD THIS IS A DISASTER, YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR LIFE, SELL AT A LOSS IF YOU HAVE TO AND GET BACK TO YOUR DEAR DEAR OLD HOUSE WHERE EVERYTHING IS FAMILIAR!!!” But my gut said something very, very similar when I sent Rob to kindergarten (“OH MY GOD THIS IS A DISASTER, YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR LIFE AND ALSO HIS, THIS IS NOT NATURAL, HOMESCHOOL HIM EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE AN IMPATIENT AND INCONSISTENT PERSON WHO HATES TEACHING AND SHOWS NEITHER GIFT NOR INCLINATION FOR IT!!!”) and when I dropped Rob off at college (“OH MY GOD THIS IS A DISASTER, YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR LIFE AND HIS, GO BACK AND GET HIM RIGHT NOW AND BRING HIM HOME OR HE WILL DIE OF STARVATION/COLD/LONELINESS!!!”), and has also done so basically every time I have encountered any major life change, including when I weaned each baby, and when I sent each baby to school, and when I got a new artificial Christmas tree, and when I got rid of our old recliner, and when I replaced our old quilt, and when I didn’t notice until I got home that the grocery store charged me $4.69/lb for fresh ginger instead of $1.99/lb for red grapes. Probably also when we bought our old house, though it’s hard to remember that now, looking back on it.
Today is back to normal. My gut is still panicking, but it’s at the usual levels instead of the spiked ones: I’m back to my “the jury is still out”/”either way it’s an interesting experiment!” panic-overriding feeling, rather than sitting morosely in a chair thinking about all the reasons this was a terrible mistake.
Also, Paul fixed the ice machine in the door of the fridge. The breaking of the ice machine may have been one of the things that pushed me off the cliff, since the ice machine was one of the few things I was feeling routinely happy about, and then it broke. Paul kept looking online and then trying things, and then looking online again and trying other things, and today the ice machine is making and crushing ice again. He also fixed two of the non-locking bathroom doors, so that now they lock. And he fixed a hinge that was threatening to let our entire bathroom door fall off. And he replaced a doorknob that kept not quite latching. If he keeps fixing things, I’m going to have to stop wailing “And neither of us is HANDY!!” when I tell the story of why my new house might be a terrible mistake.
Also, I went to Target with a couple of the kids to get some boring stuff, and Christmas candy was 70% off, so now I have a whole bunch of candy and cookies tucked into the cabinet in my own personal sunporch room.
Also, as I was doing some sullen packing/unpacking, I came across two new electric throw blankets, purchased on clearance last year and put aside in case they were needed to replace Edward’s electric throw blanket, which he loves and uses all the time so I like to have back-ups. I let one of the blankets continue on its lifepath as a back-up, but opened up the other one and put it in my own personal sunporch room. And some long-sleeved shirts and sweaters arrived, and I ordered some more. And I found my wool socks.
And tonight is New Year’s Eve, so we will have all the snacks including pizza rolls and Pringles and egg rolls and chocolate-covered pretzels, and one of us (me) will have champagne, and that’s a heartening thought.
The dispenser part of our fridge-ice maker has stopped working—it still makes ice but can’t send it out the convenient shute. It is very disheartening. And ours is a 2 year old Kenmore. And we need to fix it, but have done the disposal, water line, light fixture, stove, faucet first. I am a little worn out of house fixing and thinking longingly of when I lived in an apartment and just didn’t feel responsible for the upkeep.
This is rather a downer of a comment. But Happy New Year And Cheers to all!
You may have a solid mass of ice blocking the chute. Take out the whole thing – dump all the ice in the sink and look into the bottom of the ice holder – you may have a solid mass of ice. Either let it melt or chip it out.
We’ve had this happen a couple of times and that has always fixed it.
I also live in a very old house with completely inadequate central heat, and may I recommend some products that have improved my quality of life significantly?
1) A good insulated mug. I just got a Zojirushi one for Christmas, and it is my everything. If you put a steaming hot drink into it, it will still be steaming LITERAL HOURS later! When I make tea, I have to add a little cold water or it will take all day to become cool enough to drink. It’s great to have a piping-hot drink to sip all day.
2) Costco has these amazing pullover sweatshirts that claim to keep you warm even in 32-degree weather. They…do not, but they ARE pretty darn warm and I like them for around the house because they don’t feel super heavy. I’m not sure of the brand; I think mine just says “32 degrees” or something similar on the tag.
I was going to add more things to the list, but they’re all things you’ve probably thought of already (slippers, cozy socks, etc.) But still. I do love those two products.
Our ice maker no longer works and I am having such a hard time figuring out what to do about it. SIGH.
I am very glad that things are going better, and have full confidence they will continue to improve. Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, Swistle!
I have a heated throw and it is fantastic for winter, and also for attracting cats to your lap.
Hang in there, dear! It will feel like home soon. I remember that a huge part of making our new house feel like home was having friends and family over t. It was a good way to fill the new space with happy memories so i didn’t feel so foreign in my own space.
—and then sort of daydreaming about that, instead of recoiling in horror.
Ha ha ha! Escape fantasies are very familiar to me!
Happy New Year, Swistle! Your snacks sounds crunchy-delicious!
I too live in an old drafty house and the two things I cant live without are an electric blanket and slippers. It took me a while to find the right slippers (not too bulky) but even if you wear warm socks and your feet aren’t cold, they’re still just lovely somehow.
Sometimes I also wear cuddle duds under my pants since its harder to warm up if my legs get too cold.
Old houses are definitely different. They make more noises, have more quirks, but you can’t beat the charm either. Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, Swistle! Chin up, the end is in sight and you will feel right at home.
You can do it Swistle!
Happy New Year Swistle, and thank you for all the fun, thoughtfulness and insights you’ve shared with your readers through 2018.
Ugh, yeah, sounds right on track for a big move right before Christmas. I don’t even know if being so self-aware about it helps at all – maybe a little? Anyway, I will share my icemaker story because I think it’s funny: we bought a new fridge that was our first one with ice-making capability, and I adored it because ever since I got pregnant for the first time all my drinks have to be ice cold (hormones are so weird). Then it stopped making ice and I was extremely annoyed and we kept saying we’d let it thaw but never did. Then we had a tornado and lost power for 52 hours and had to throw out a bunch of food – and two hours after the power came back on, my husband came upstairs and showed me a beautiful little oval-shaped ice cube, because the tornado fixed our fridge. Happy new year.
Do you live in Ottawa? We had a tornado and lost power for a few days this year too!
Yup.
When we did our kitchen the brand new freezer did not make ice for months. Was it not bad enough tjst we had to get a lawyer to break the contract with our horrid contractor? No ice for months AND a shitty contractor almost pushed me over the edge. Enjoy your new house AND the fact that your husband has morphed into a handyman! Happy New Year!
I’m stuck on PERSONAL SUNPORCH. How can you be bummed about the new house when you have a PERSONAL SUNPORCH?! I say go full in on it, plants, pictures, blankets, books, and make it even more of a little oasis for yourself.
I’m excited to hear more about Swistle’s Room, too! Is it three-seasons and therefore too cold to use right now? Or is it heated? Sunporch makes me wonder if it’s south and/or west exposure? Ahhh. So exciting!
It is HEATED! So it gets lots of sun, which makes it pretty warm even now, but it also has a heat register. It’s a small room, but big enough for a recliner, a side table, a bookshelf, maybe a mini-fridge. And the windows have big sills, perfect for plants! And it is ALL MINE. Part of the deal for agreeing to move.
This sounds incredible! I know you have a lot of big changes, and that is super hard, but this room sounds like a big consolation prize.
A ROOM OF SWISTLE’S OWN!!!
And consider your many contribution to the blogging arts PRIOR to the sunporch…twelve years plus.
The best is yet to come!
I’m interested in the whole “trust your gut” thing. When I was young, I was all about that. I was fairly fearless. Oh, move from Illinois to Kansas for a job, no problem! Gee, I’ve always wanted to visit Alaska, why not just move there, with no job, no apartment? Sure, why not? Then I got married, then I had a child and 28 years later, it is much harder for me to let things go. My daughter came home for Christmas, one of her presents was a new wallet. She took everything out of her old one, put it in the new one, and threw the old one out. Not a second thought, just tossed it. That is when I realized I attach WAY TOO much significance to inanimate objects. I would have kept that old wallet and thought, “well, I can go back to it if I need it.”. That struck a chord with me, I remembered how free I used to be with both my actions and my possessions!
The whole ‘trust your gut’ paragraph was exactly what I needed today, thank you. My gut is FREAKING out over something that I have been calmly coming to terms with for about 3 years now. But now that it’s time to actually act on the thing, OH MY GOSH, I FEEL LIKE WE ARE RUINING OUR LIVES. At the same time I have every confidence that your thing will work out fine, of course!