You should have seen me this morning: morosely packing wall art into moving boxes, listening mopily to Death Cab for Cutie, noticing the walls start to look empty and grubby, and getting all weepy and sad about leaving this house. After awhile I had to switch to Odds Are on repeat, plus a steady stream of the kind of motivational/attitude-changing talk that would be super-annoying coming from someone else but I’ve found can be successfully SELF-applied: “Is this happening as a result of a financial or marital catastrophe, so that you are going to lose a lot of your things and also you are having to deal with those severe stresses on top of everything else? No. Are all of your dear belongings BURNING IN A FIRE? No. Are you having to LEAVE THEM ALL BEHIND as you escape to another country with only what you can carry? No. No, in fact you are giving them a good dusting, packing them gently, and BRINGING THEM ALL WITH YOU. So stop DABBING AT YOUR EYES and thinking ‘My houuuuuuuuuussssssssse’! Also, maybe check the calendar: I’m not sure this was the best time of the month for this particular packing task. Maybe next let’s pack some computer cables or the junk drawer or something.”
I’m also using the “This happens to everyone” technique. For example, one source of stress right now is that it seems as if our old house is breaking: the dishwasher is gradually losing usability, and now there are two brownish spots on the office ceiling that I can’t remember if they were there before or if they’re new leaks. But, like, statistically, this is going to happen to pretty much everyone who is moving. There are going to be unpleasant little surprises with the new house and also with the old house, and those are not surprises happening only to US and OUR move.
And as we pack, we are leaving behind all these dirty/grubby/dusty places. That too happens to everyone, or nearly everyone (I do know there are people who regularly move all their furniture to clean under it and behind it, but those are not the people who generally seek out my friendship), and so our situation is not a situation that will shock or appall the housecleaners. This isn’t just US and OUR house and OUR move: everyone who moves has to deal with this one way or another when they move. Everyone’s walls look sad and kind of grubby and lonely after the wall art comes down. *sentimental tears leaking*
We’re re-using a stranger’s moving boxes, fetched for me by my friend Morgan from her neighborhood freebies list. And, like, the box marked “Glen’s golf shirts / running clothes” was at one point being packed by someone, possibly someone overwhelmed. And yet now Glen’s golf shirts / running clothes are presumably residing in their new home, and the move is over, and the boxes are no longer needed. This is just the normal way it feels to move, and these are the normal things that happen; the discomfort is not a sign that this is a terrible decision.
Then I took a lunch break, and I found I have hit my wall with re-runs of The West Wing. I think of it as losing a lot of joy in the fifth season, and now I’m partway through the sixth season and it seems like every episode is tense or harried or frustrating, and a lot of the humor is gone. So I’m switching back over to Northern Exposure, which so far is a pretty good call. The slow-burn romance is too blatantly/obviously a deliberate slow-burn romance but I’m okay with that. One of the downsides of The West Wing–though I found it understandable as a plot decision–was “not enough romance.” (I don’t think they really had TIME for romance.)
The holiday season has a way of making any sad or hard thing even more so. I give them their share of the blame here.
De-lurking to say I agree! I find most episodes of seasons 5-7 of The West Wing unwatchable. I believe Aaron Sorkin, the creator and main writer left after season 4.
May I suggest the show Hart of Dixie? I find it adorable and very funny. It’s on Netflix. No idea if it’s your cup of tea, but I’m currently on my second re-watching. Also, is it helpful to think of all the fun new space options you’ll soon have for your wall art? I love thinking about that when I’m packing. “Where will this go in the NEW house?”
It’s very adorable, and you have just reminded me that I haven’t finished it yet.
Yes! Warm and fuzzy feelings from Hart of Dixie!
I am now binge watching this. It’s very relaxing and one of those shows where once you know the rhythm and characters, you can do other things and you don’t have to watch every second of it. Thanks!!
I second Hart of Dixie. It was the best. The best!
Also, I’m not sure if you’ve watched the west wing before, but I thought season 5 and 6 were crap, but season 7 is much better.
I am mopey too, but for no reason.
Man, it is so hard to move. We hang so much on our walls – memories and happy events and sad feelings and first steps and holiday meals and fights and family gatherings and years of comfort and safety and home-ness – and when you separate the people and the house it seems almost like all those things are lost. But I know you’ll fill up your new house in no time.
There’s a great series on Netflix called Heartland. It’s Canadian, and it’s about a family that runs a horse farm. I think you’d be charmed; the vistas are lovely. It has family members at all ages and stages, which I remember is something you liked.
Two movies about growing older that I’ve loved are Five Flights Up, with Morgan Freeman and Diane Keaton, and Our Souls at Night, with Robert Redford and Jane Fonda. The latter is from the final book written by Kent Haruf. The first two are Plainsong and Evensong, and if you haven’t read them, I believe you’d like them a lot.
As a fan of West Wing (who agrees that season 5 and 6 were more joyless, but liked season 7) and Northern Exposure, may I recommend the following from my “comfort watch” list?
In the spirit of your baby name suggestions, not all of these may be quite your style, but I’m tossing out a lot of them in case some of them do. Thinking good/interesting dialogue, some humor, a fair amount of joy (so an overall optimistic viewpoint), some romance, not tense/harried/frustrating, with some quirky characters perhaps (more Northern Exposure than WW).
Parks and Rec (the first 6 episodes are different tonally from the rest of the show, and the second season figured out that Leslie should be very competent and likeable along with her flaws, so it’s fine to start with season 2 and go from there. I disliked the show on first watch of a couple episodes and gave up, but later came back and the whole show is one of my favorite things.)
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (not such a big difference, but the characters definitely mature a lot over the course of the show, and some interactions are problematic in season 1 that get much better late in season 1)
The Good Place (I adore all of it. Watch without reading anything about it.)
One Day at a Time (the new one, with Rita Moreno) – more like a traditional sitcom than the others on this list, but “inspired by” the original rather than a reboot in any way (other than the rather intrusive neighbor, Schneider, but this version of him is very different and more lovable, eventually). Cuban-American single-mother family in Miami, son and daughter and grandmother, mom is a nurse and a veteran, excellent acting and fundamental optimism and nice through-lines of plot, humor, and very modern issues treated nicely. And did I say Rita Moreno! First couple episodes are a little hokier than the rest (seems like all comedies need a little time to find their feet)
Gilmore Girls – snappy dialogue, quirky characters, heavy on the romance, fun.
Jane the Virgin – a take on the telenovela, with a lot of humor, very enjoyable characters, and a funny self-referential narrator. Big dramatic things happen b/c that’s how telenovelas go, but it’s all so fun.
Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries – not much like the rest of this list, but glamor, some romance, fundamental optimism
Not a series (yet, anyway – it’s based on the first book in a series), but To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before is a delightful YA romcom with humor.
Enjoyable sitcoms that are currently on and may be streaming: Fresh Off the Boat, Speechless, Young Sheldon (no matter whether you like Big Bang Theory, as it is completely different in tone and setting)
I’ve been going through some family drama that seems to be more depressing as it’s happening around The Happiest Time Of The Year and The Good Place has really seen me through. I’m currently on my second re-watch of it.
Miss Fisher is worth watching for the shoes alone.
Totally second Parks and Rec (and to start on season 2, you don’t miss anything in season 1).
And The Good Place is so good!!
I love One Day at a Time! And Rita Moreno!
Packing during the holiday season AND the time of the month? Hoo boy. Maybe grab a big big big glass of wine. Forget the glass. Just the bottle.
The cleaners are not going to be surprised or judge you. We have a rental house, and every couple years tenants move out and I am shocked by the dustballs and gunk and disgusting fridge left behind. The lovely cleaner who comes in to deal with it all – in a fraction of the time it would take me – is decidedly not surprised.* It will just be another day for them.
*Well, once she was (trust me, you don’t want to know by what) and that was when I knew I was totally justified in taking an “excess cleaning” fee from their security deposit. Yes, I gave it to her. She earned every penny of it, and I really don’t want her to quit taking my calls.
In our first house, we had no headboard for our bed. Upon moving out, an oily schmear stain of a frighteningly large horizontally shaped size was discovered on the wall above my husband’s side of the bed. Twenty years later, I only touch his head when he’s freshly showered.
Quick calculation suggests that feelings may also be extra-intense on Christmas/Eve, New Year’s or there-abouts.
Oh dear you are absolutely right, and this is Very Good to think about AHEAD OF TIME.
Dittoing the shows mentioned and THANKS for Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries suggestion, I’ve put it on my list.
Adding The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, the Great British Baking Show (so cozy!), the most recent (ie 10 years ago?) version of the Nero Wolfe Mysteries, Foyle’s War.
My son and I are watching House of Cards (just watched two episodes) and it’s got the feel of West Wing, but is darker.
How about Superstore?
It’s basic but quirky and touches on some current topics without being judgemental or obnoxious.
Odds Are!! <3
My mom legit cried every day from when the for sale sign went up on their house to well after they moved out and into their new house–even though the new house was beautiful, paid off, still close to her grandkids, etc. It’s hard leaving the past behind. There were a lot of good memories and a lot of things to love about the old house–they were there for 20 years and raised us three kids there.
It’s normal and okay to be sad about big life changes like this!