I would like to discuss Rob, who is 19 years old and impossible to buy for.
Before I launch into the reasons he is terrible, I would like to say that he was home for a few days for Thanksgiving break and he was an absolute treat. Well, there were a couple of moments that were less than treatlike, but he IS a college sophomore and we must expect that. In general he was funny and chatty and nice to have at home, and I enjoyed his visit.
And we got done the two major and important tasks I’d set for that time: (1) family Christmas card photo in front of the new house and (2) Rob’s flu shot. My dad said he’d think it would be in the college’s best interest to sponsor a nurse to just go around and give the shot to every student who doesn’t object, and I QUITE AGREE. (A pharmacy does come to campus and set up a station at certain times, but they charge for that and they don’t take insurance, and also last year Rob claimed to be unable to establish when they were there.)
Where was I? Oh, yes: Rob is impossible to buy for. Here are the things that make him impossible (some of which might be harvestable as ideas for the less-impossible or differently-impossible teenagers in your life):
1. He is in that stage of life when toys no longer appeal but household stuff is not yet exciting.
2. He lives mostly at college so he doesn’t have a lot of room/need for stuff.
3. He is of a minimalist/ascetic nature, and doesn’t WANT much stuff, and seems to be making a point of it. Remember this is the child who refused a second set of bedding/towels for college. (He has experienced zero regret and says he has never yet needed a second set of either. I sent him a Christmas-themed pillowcase and he got rid of his other pillowcase so he wouldn’t have two.)
4. He has declined “better version” things such as: better winter boots, better gloves, more-luxurious sheets, an expensive pillow.
5. He has declined “good for now and also for later” things such as luggage, a digital camera, a nice lamp, a tool set, a nice clock, dishes, spices, silverware, baking pans, kitchen appliances, a mini-fridge, minor pieces of furniture.
6. He says he has plenty of clothes and there are no special/expensive clothing items that appeal.
7. He doesn’t drink coffee. He doesn’t want a travel mug. He doesn’t get a thrill from eating out, so he doesn’t want gift cards to restaurants or pizza places. I asked if there were stores he would want gift cards for; he said no, he doesn’t need/want anything. (Plus, that’s sad/boring to unwrap.) I suggested Expensive Treats and he says he DOESN’T REALLY EAT SNACKS. I mean.
8. He plays a fair amount of music, so I asked if he wanted sheet music or another instrument or musical recordings or a stereo. No.
9. He’s not at all interested in grooming-related stuff—no fancy razors, no cool hair products, no nice face masks, no fancy shower products, etc.
10. He’s full-up on things such as Rubik’s Cubes and logic puzzles.
11. He doesn’t want puzzle books or regular books.
12. We already got him a portable phone charger and a super-fast plug-in phone charger.
13. There are no subscriptions he wants. He’s tried some of those in the past (audio books, study services, access to sites) and doesn’t want/need any right now.
14. I thought he might want money to put towards Reddit Gold or phone apps or some other such online thing, but no.
15. Normally a person like this might be a good candidate for Experience Gifts, but he is up to his hairline in Experiences right now: he’s taking classes, he’s taking voice lessons, he’s taking fencing lessons, he’s going to the campus gym, he’s attending meetings of various campus clubs. He has TOO MUCH to do, not too little.
16. Normally a person like this might be a good candidate for charitable donations in their name, but he is not yet at the stage where he wants this.
17. Normally a person like this might be a good candidate for NO PRESENTS AT ALL, but he is my child and I am fond of him and also I feel a certain obligation.
18. I suggested savings bonds, which is what one set of grandparents got me when I was a child. It’s a nice way to say “There might not be anything you want NOW, but I assume you will want things LATER.” He found this idea about as thrilling as I did when I was a child, which is to say not thrilling at all. Then he made a cynical remark about the possibility of our government/banks/money existing in the same way by the time the bond matured.
19. His birthday is very close to Christmas, so we need double ideas and we have almost none.
We have two ideas. One is his idea: a bike. One is my idea, but he said yes: a video game system to play with his roommates.
Problems:
1. We have an approximate budget of $100 for him for Christmas and another $100 for birthday. The video game system is $300 and that’s without additional controllers (it only comes with one controller and he has three roommates), cables, or games. (I’d thought the retro NES would be perfect for this at $80 for system/controllers/cables, but he’s meh about it: he wants to be able to buy current/new games.
1b. I mean, we could make the video game system a joint Christmas/birthday gift and just plan to spend more on him because he’s older and more difficult to buy for…but then he gets, what, one gift at Christmas and nothing on his birthday? This is probably our frontrunner plan but it seems sad.
1c. Another idea is we could buy a used system and buy him additional controllers/games.
2. I don’t know how to choose a bicycle or what it would cost, but he goes to college in a location with a lot of winter, so we think he is unlikely to use it as much as he thinks he would. And when we were like, “Where would you store it when you weren’t able to use it?,” he was like “Uhhhh….” Also he came late in life to bike-riding, and when he was home for the summer I had to take him to the ER because he didn’t know you can’t make a sharp turn in a sandy area, so I am in general Not Keen on him having a bicycle in a CITY. I mean, at this point I’m willing to consider it, but the idea makes me feel anxious and unhappy.
What I WISH I’d done was NOT ASK HIM. I could have just bought him some things I thought he could use, and too bad if they failed. But I wanted to be sensitive to his age and personality, and also I wanted to get him some things he would be glad to have, instead of some things he’d sneak onto our basement storage shelves, unopened. (I’ve been packing, and I’ve been finding a lot of those things.)
Suddenly buying for a 5 year old, who only wants stuffed animals, seems positively relaxing.
You seriously have no idea how easy Christmas is for a 5 year old! I miss those days when all he wanted was “guys” (super hero figurines).
Bitcoin? A membership to a bike sharing service? Movie gift certificates? Something cool for his room in the new house that he can take with him when he gets an apartment? Start a trousseau for his first place and just keep it for him?
For the game console: are there other family members ALSO looking for gift ideas for him? Maybe if you buy the console, they can buy the extra’s/games/whatnot.
YES. This is a good idea.
Buying for older kids is perfectly awful. I just had this discussion with my best friend not 20 minutes ago.
I would probably opt for the joint Christmas/birthday game thingy (Switch?), and then feel kind if grumpy about it. It’s not a good plan, but it is a plan. Could you give him an extra controller for his birthday? You’re really going over budget then.
I really thought things were going to be easier when the kids were up and out. I was really wrong.
What Lisa said. Also,
…Visa gift cards?
Or, my BIL gave the kids money through Stockpile so they could invest in stocks and learn about them. The teens were the most interested, for what it’s worth.
Blessings upon you, as you move AND plan Christmas.
Money he can invest could be more interesting than savings bonds!
This is much more interesting than what I was going to say – “give stock.” My husband’s grandmother gives our kids a check for their birthday and for Christmas. I don’t even mention it to them, just deposit it into their investment accounts and buy stock. However, I did explain the account to my 7yo last week and showed him how I transfer money and buy him tiny ownership in big companies. He went nuts over it. You’d think dividend reinvestment was pure magic.
So now thinking to my teen years, I was enough of a numbers geek that having people gift me money to manage my own investment account would have been super fun. Then having that nest egg as I paid my way through college and bought a house….
I don’t think you can do both on your current budget (unless you get a bike that is both used and started out fairly low end, which is doable but maybe not what you were hoping for). I’d focus on using your budget towards solving the game system cost/split across two holidays.
So what you’re saying is that my 16yo son will eventually be EVEN HARDER to buy for than he is now. Sigh.
I feel your pain! Man-Child’s birthday was October 1st…we just now finally gave him cash because he didn’t give us any ideas and never made time to come home to celebrate. I’m considering an Instapot for his apartment for Christmas, which I know will be met with zero enthusiasm – but I have no other ideas. I did buy his favorite style jeans but even that is a “meh” gift. I miss having little people to buy for…
Bikes are also $300-$400. I know because jack’s grandparents got him one for his birthday. Sorry to break it to you.
The bike is also likely to max out your budget, depending. If you go this route I would suggest a helmet and a really good lock.
I am buying/ have bought those lego-like sets that are the mascot/name/helmet of a college or sports team. My thought- they need to be put together so are an activity, but can be displayed as a thing. Otherwise I am stuck too!
I would look the other way on the budget and get him the video game for Christmas since he can actually use it now. For his birthday I would give him this book, so he has something to open. https://m.barnesandnoble.com/w/cycling-edward-pickering/1123245641?ean=9781782140955&st=PLA&sid=BNB_New+Core+Shopping+Top+Margin+EANs&sourceId=PLAGoNA&dpid=tdtve346c&2sid=Google_m&gclid=Cj0KCQiArenfBRCoARIsAFc1Fqc48VTNW4-DFkwngU3MV18xzXn8Zz7AdAVK6qE4Cl3_pkBBFk-YnV0aAsqpEALw_wcB
He said no to experiences…which killed my front runner idea, which was a gift certificate to an Escape Room near his campus. A lot of the ones in my city are doing cyber Monday specials. But I think the game system is worth the extra splurge, since it can also be used to play dvds and access Netflix etc.
I just magically bought a used game system after thinking the original was out of budget. Maybe used?
Underwear. He can’t refuse, everyone needs underwear.
What about a calendar? (As a small gift, of course.). A wall calendar would be useful in noting due dates, school breaks, etc, it doesn’t take up any space and can be thrown away in a year. Or one of those page a day calendars with something interesting to him.
In their late teens we resorted to money-toward gifts for the Boys–if our budget was $100 and the Boy wanted a $300 game or set of luggage or whatever, we gave $100 to be used for said item. The Boys alway had some income (jobs, gifts from grandparents) and a chunk of cash helped them get something substantial they really wanted. Other suggestions that have been successful: nice satchel for use when a backpack isn’t formal enough (job interview, for example); towel warmer (best present ever during Midwest winters); monogrammed duffels from LLBean in their school colors (good for overseas travel).
I like the money-toward idea. It solves your problem and makes it his. And it keeps you on budget. That way he can use his own money to make the game station the dream he wants and in the future you can buy him games for it as gifts.
I also like the money-toward idea. You could do money for birthday and Christmas and so there is something else to open, maybe a game or extra controller or something factored into the Christmas budget.
I hope you ignore him a little and buy some luggage that he can leave at home if he wants. Having a work appropriate roller bag was essential for travel in my first job post college, and I was so grateful that my mom had set me up. I still use the duffles she bought me in college.
I also think Rob is a prime candidate for a personal finance book like Beth Kobliner’s Get a Financial Life. I bought the original version in 1998 (when that title was a cute play on words), and it was a fantastic introduction to budgeting, ins and outs of borrowing and repaying, and investing. A book plus cash to invest could be good. Or you could do a subscription to budgeting software like You Need a Budget. From how you’ve described Rob, I think he’d enjoy gaining some knowledge and independence in this area.
I love YNAB! It’s our household budgeting software. And that book sounds great; we read Suze Orman back in the day. Sounds similar!
Phone charging brick? He can use/recharge the phone where there are no power outlets. (This is a shot in the dark; I remember those days.)
Biking in winter is a no go unless it’s a fat tire bike. Used game systems are what we have and they work perfectly. However, I have heard stories of college kids playing games so much they don’t go to class. Would he use an itunes gift card to download music? Would he enjoy concert tickets? Does he have nice earbuds and or headphones?
I just bought last year’s corded model Bose noise cancelling headphones on Amazon for Cyber Monday today for $109 for each of my tween/teens. We are going to France in February & they need a good pair of headphones for the in-flight entertainment. They are also getting travel-related stuff in their stockings like a rechargeable battery brick for their devices.
https://www.amazon.com/Bose-QuietComfort-Acoustic-Cancelling-Headphones/dp/B00M1NEUKK/ref=gbph_img_e-4_39b9_feb24949?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=948e50c2-f00b-49cb-8248-02f280ff39b9&pf_rd_s=events-center-c-4&pf_rd_t=701&pf_rd_i=EGG_desktop&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=2J6SN0KJHS0B9TFFTN9P
Hmm. I’m leaning towards a book on personal finance and buying him one share in a company. Get a paper certificate and frame it. You can still get paper certificates at giveashare.
Does he earn any income? If so, you could put money in a Roth IRA for him. Depending on your state, you could open a custodial account.
Perhaps just homemade something that he likes. My mom just gave me homemade grape jelly. Best Christmas gift!
I also wonder if there’s an annoying task that you could do for him. I don’t think he takes a car to school, but what sprung to mind was taking his car in for an oil change.
I just realized I duplicated your comment below! I really wish I’d learned about managing an IRA as a twentysomething instead of a thirtysomething. Managing stocks online is quite easy and watching the miracle of compound interest is genuinely exciting, not unlike a video game. It also counteracts the sort of vague conviction that retirement savings go into an apocalyptic black hole. I own one share of Facebook for fun and I still enjoy gloating over my ($60) profit.
I think a used gaming system is a great idea. That should work within your budget AND be something that he indicated he would like to receive.
My middle child (son) is also a college sophomore. Is Rob planning to study abroad at all? My son is going to do so next fall, and plans to travel as much as he can while over there, so this is a stocking stuffer I am really looking forward to giving him: https://travellercollective.com. It is understated, useful, and a really cool thing he can add on to as he goes. Not inexpensive to start but each country is pretty cheap once you get the initial keyring.
We will also get him a book or two on traveling cheap around Europe.
I vote for used game system! My husband gets them from GameStop and they’ve always been fine. Then other family members can chip in accessory items. Also, my birthday is two days after Christmas and I would have loved this kind of larger joint gift. Usually I just got the shaft on my birthday.
I would just give him cash – he can’t say no to that!
An Amazon Gift card. He can then buy whatever he wants whenever he wants.
I fenced for a few semesters of college, too! Does he have his own gear for that? We could borrow the club stuff but **EW** the club helmets were nasty so I was thrilled to get my own. Actually, my fencing outfit plus duffle bag were the first big purchase I made for myself. Anyway! Perhaps he’d like his own weapon or something?
Which game system are you thinking about? A switch might be fun, if that’s not what you were already thinking, and it comes with 2 controllers. Then you could get a carry case (like $15) to have something for him to open on the other holiday.
Or, maybe a board game to play with the roommates? Perhaps his own copy of a family favorite?
Or, you mentioned city- could you get him gift cards for Uber so he can go places without the danger of the bike?
Or! A gift card to get gear for one of these hobbies (sheet music or fencing gear or whatever) for later in the year when he DOES need that stuff. I’m also a christmas-birthday person, and gift cards are great for stretching those “I need sort of boring stuff but don’t want to spend money on it” through the year instead of having to wait 12 months until the next gift time.
With the combined budget for birthday and Christmas, you could buy a gift certificate toward a good bike at a bike shop in his city! We live in MN and there are people who bike many months of the year. There are shops that rebuild old bikes that are sometimes a little cheaper. https://www.thehubbikecoop.org/
It’s pretty awesome that he isn’t materialist, generally speaking, though it makes the holidays sort of weird!
Oooh! I’ve got another one: a share or two of an index fund, in Roth IRA in Rob’s name. It’s a great way to familiarize him with retirement savings and it’s hella fun to watch it grow over time. VTI (Vanguard Total Stock ETF) has minimal fees. We use it in our IRAs.
I’ve been wondering how you feel about teenagers now you have more? I remember your despair when rob was a new teenager and you had all the rest to come! Would love to know if your feelings have changed.
YES. I’d say I am much more pro-teenager now. It helps that William is a very different type of teenager: affable, funny, likes to discuss things but DISCUSSIONS not arguments, and seems to instinctively know where he can cross the line charmingly and where he should not attempt it.
If you want to make the video game system a joint Christmas/birthday gift, but you still want him to have something to open on his birthday, maybe the system itself (new or used) could be his Christmas gift and then his birthday gift could be additional games and/or controllers.
Even if you don’t end up going the video game route, I think “stuff you can do with friends” is a good category for college-student gifts. Board games are the first thing that comes to mind—I’ve found that college students don’t always want to ADMIT they like them, but most do.
Also, if you’re leaning towards getting him a bike but you’re worried about the “where would he store it” issue, most dorms/student apartment have bike racks. Just make sure he has a good bike lock to go with it.
A good (Kryptonite U-Lock) bike lock is $40, get him the bike lock and a $60ish helmet. He can trawl Craigslist all winter and find a good deal from a graduating senior next year, but that way he’ll be ready to ride safely the moment he buys a bike he likes. You can’t easily pick out a bike for someone else, not a grown-up someone anyway, because people get picky about fit and tires and all that.
If you do get the bike, get the U-lock but also make sure it’s covered by insurance. There’s an epidemic of bike-stealing on my son’s campus, and apparently that’s not uncommon on campuses.
Hey Swistle,
My last child has a late December birthday, just after Christmas. I would love it if you would open up a post about this. I would love to hear what people say about it- people whose birthday falls in that time frame, or whose kid’s does, or who will be having a child born in that time frame. I would love to hear how other people deal with it!
For us, once he was about 13, we switched to a half birthday. We go out to dinner or I make a special dinner for his birthday, we sing to him and have a cake or something. In June he has his “second birthday” which is when he gets presents. We just found it so much nicer to space things out for him and he often felt like if he DID come up with something he wanted, it was nicer to not have to wait a full year between events. So far it has worked well for us! He’s going to be 17 this December.
My birthday is two days after Christmas and I REALLY wish my family had done this. My birthday was almost always a let down. So +1 vote for anyone with young kids with Xmas birthdays reading this!
Filing this information away in regard to my younger daughter, born January 3. How do you handle extended family gifts, though? Grandmas are not great at going along with things like this.
Our almost 4 year old has an early December birthday. When she was 18 months old we started a half birthday tradition, partly because she was ready for a few new toys! But it’s stuck and it was especially fun this year since she was excited to be three and a HALF. We don’t try to involve grandma, etc. – it’s just the immediate family, 1 or 2 small presents, and cupcakes.
We do it for her younger April born sister as well now.
Oh good, Chris, thanks for that feedback! I am glad you would have liked it. He seems to. I just felt so BAD for him to get everything all within a three day period and then what felt like nothing the rest of the year. Plus everyone was kind of partied out!
My Dad’s birthday is the 27th and he said he got an unfair number of “combined” gifts and birthday gifts in Christmas wrap etc. We wanted to avoid that too.
Anna, we don’t include the grandparents and such in this- they still give him his bday present (if they do give him one) in December. He is perfectly fine with that too. Having a June/summer bday option also opens up nice opportunities for outdoor/pool parties, as opposed to Christmas time, when it is cold and a lot of people are out of town.
Second hand consoles are 100% the way to go – often you can get them for half the price of a new one with extra controllers and games thrown in. Plus good for the environment and helping the local economy directly!
My mom definitely had similar problems with my brothers when we were all teens. Things I remember her getting, with mixed reactions: Shaving/clipper kit, luggage set (we actually all liked and used ours but I liked it best), candy, clothing essentials like underwear and socks, books, school supplies.
Yes, I would cheerfully/obliviously go ahead and give him practical things, such as socks. Maybe Darn Tough socks, which have a lifetime warranty, would appeal to his minimalism. If you are going to be difficult and no fun then you get to be a grown up and get grown up presents. Like socks. Or maybe it’s time to refer back to your old Gifts for A-holes posts.
I feel bad for his future partner. Would he be interested in anything nice for fencing? Sometimes hobbies/sports like that have things that go with them. Good luck!
Actually he seems like the kind of partner many would love to have! There’s no superficiality about him, and he prefers time with friends over stuff. Sure it would be frustrating for Bday and Xmas gift buying but that’s a small problem in the grand scheme.
I have the same problem with my turning-17-in-December son. His wants are few. What makes it really hard, is his two sisters who have gift ideas (for themselves) left and right!
I would go with the gaming system for Bday/Xmas combo (or money towards it). I really doubt he’ll care that he has little to open while his siblings have a lot.
I’m going to ditto the game system for xmas / games & accessories for b-day ideas
Also dittoing the bike-share gift cards and Uber/Lyft gift cards. See how often he uses the bike share before getting him a bike. But just so you know, Dick’s Sporting Goods has men’s bikes on sale now from $139.00
Obviously, I meant the used system, btw.
My 16 year-old son is loving the Switch, btw, and takes it to his friends’ houses all the time. He buys himself extra controllers so more friends can play.
One thought I have, that I got from my mom, is that while Rob is away in college, he’s not getting the day-to-day gifts the other kids do. IE: he’s not going to the movies with you all or whatever. If, and only if, you can AFFORD to give him a more expensive gift, but you keep the amounts spent on all the kids even for fairness sake, this is an excuse to go more expensive for him. Again, only if you can afford it.
This is a really good point, but I feel like Swistle probably factored that in already. Just seems like a thing she would think of.
I would vote the used gaming system too. Does anyone know if it’s possible there are better deals after Christmas? Do people start trading stuff in/selling stuff, once they see what they get for Christmas? Just wondering if a gift cert to GameStop or something would be good and then he could get a great deal later (and/or more games, controllers etc.). Maybe you could ask a GameStop employee.
Okay, I was a difficult to buy for teen from about the minute I became a teenager. Maybe a little before. When I was in college, here is what I wanted my mother to give me: NOTHING, GAH, MOM! Because she tended towards junky little gifts and things that were radically not my taste. She still does.
I wouldn’t do the gaming system, mainly because it sounds like you want to give it to him more than he wants to get it. Plus he already has a lot of time commitments, and videogames take time. Either he won’t use it, or he will–and if he does, it’ll come at the cost of something like his sleep, schoolwork, etc.
Just give him cash in a nice card. Don’t attach strings of the “this is for” variety. Just give him the money. If his living situation is such that all meals aren’t provided (my college cafeteria didn’t provide dinner on Sundays), then give him a gift card to someplace like Domino’s, that can deliver to his dorm/apartment. Tell him to use it to get delivery for himself and whoever is around some night. Or to give it to a friend if he doesn’t want to use it.
And if he likes to read, give him a gift card for books–that’s probably the one thing my mother could have given me that I would have been happy with. She refused to do that.
(Not to depress you, but– while I’ve become better about the stuff my mother gives me, the truth is, I still don’t actually want, need, or like about 95% of it. A lot of what she gives during the holidays goes straight out soon afterwards. What I mainly do is tell myself that she is someone with a strong need to show love via giving things, and that the nicest thing I can do for her is to be nice about whatever she’s choosing to give. Because– now that I’m an adult– it’s more important that she feels loved and appreciated by me than it is that I like the stuff she gives me. And my accepting the gifts nicely is a way to show her love.)
Your last paragraph is so wise. This reminds me of a snippet I appreciated from Marie Kondo’s book. It went something like: the purpose of a gift is to be given, so as soon as it’s received it has fulfilled it’s purpose. You can let it go with a light heart.
This makes me feel better about getting rid of gifts I don’t really like, and helps me not keep things I dislike just because someone gave it to me.
I am adding my voice to the chorus of “get him a used gaming system”
Also, I know he doesn’t need activities or experiences, but this seems like something that could just kind of percolate over the months. Read an essay, ponder, read an essay, ponder . . .
https://cartamundi.com/app/uploads/2017/05/The-White-Box_press-release.pdf
I also like the bitcoin and Stockpile suggestions.
Thank you so much for linking this! I just got this as the perfect Christmas present for my boyfriend!
Ordered the White Box thing! That seems great!
Our go-to for older nephews is funny t-shirts and socks.
You can order some great pop-culture ones or funny science type ones from Redbubble or Teepublic or ThinkGeek. If he’s into anything like superheroes, or star wars, or star trek, or general geek stuff – even if he’s not SUPER into it – you can find some cute/funny stuff there, and it’s different than what you’d see at the mall.
Our local toy store sells funny socks with things like bacon or ninjas or happy faces on them – something he’s unlikely to buy for himself but might use as it’s a wearable item and shows a nice flash of personality.
Also Snorgtees.
An agenda to keep all his current commitments straight? A duffel bag to schelp his laundry home in?
Does he date and therefore might want to have a movie pass or some such thing to take someone out with?
Are his running shoes wearing out? Does he need shorts, t-shirts or swim trunks? I know it’s boot weather, but the problem with a birthday in the winter is there are few opportunities to get summer stuff for gifts.
My husband has gone farther than saying he doesn’t want anything for occasions – he now says he wants nothing. I’ve told him to suck it up and think of something, even if it’s small, as he’s ruining his family’s pleasure in giving him stuff.
What about extra memory for his devices?
Since you said he likes music, I was going to suggest a portable Bluetooth speaker, but as a minimalist he probably would just consider it more unnecessary stuff… The used gaming system sounds like a good idea though.
THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE. I was going to say I have a similar problem, but my son likes video games and is on the college baseball team so there is basically a bottomless, unfillable need for All the Snacks. You have my utmost sympathy, because that is a very difficult situation.
i’d say go with the game system and combine Christmas and his birthday, and, if possible, have other people who are also at a loss as to what to give him contribute. This is what he actually asked for, and he is more than old enough to not be disappointed about no separate present later on. Instead he’ll likely be thrilled to actually have gotten something he truly wanted. And if you find others to contribute, you could also share it in a way that means you still have the birthday funds and then get him a game (or rather, a giftcard unless you know exactly what he wants) or a controller or two. Really, it’s the perfect present. And used is totally fine.
I agree that a bike isn’t as great a thing as he may think now. You have to drop several hundreds to get a decent one, have to invest in a good lock, too, and they do need a little caring for. The new bikes for around $150 are not worth their money and often not even that safely put together. All that before you even get into the issues of the dangers of riding or where to keep it so it’s not ruined or stolen at the end of the winter.
Yes to a used gaming system and more accessories/games for the birthday! Replays, Gamestop, whichever is in your area will have consoles, etc. for a much better price and then brothers/sisters/grandparents could get games or gift cards for games. Done!
#17, hahahaha!
How about a hammock? Like this? https://www.rei.com/product/754769/eno-singlenest-hammock
These seem to be quite popular among my millennial coworkers, even just for backyard naps. One early-20-something guy got one a couple of years ago and raved about it so much that pretty soon a bunch of people had them.
So for real the ENO hammocks are great. But I definitely recommend the double nest, especially if Rob is tall. It’s much comfier. I’ve used mine hiking/camping, out in the park in my city, on campus, etc. You see them stung across porches in my city a lot too.
Urgh. I have so many impossible-to-buy-for men in my life. None are my child, though, so I get off easy.
I usually default to expensive booze, but the legal drinking age here is lower.
Perhaps a website like buymeonce.com , buythisonce.com might be a good place to get ideas (sorry if you’re already familiar with them)? Robert might appreciate the philosophy. The products listed on those sites tend to be more expensive than less durable products, so perfect as presents for people on low incomes who want ethical/minimalist belongings. There are plenty of lists out there for specific interests (camping, tools, clothes, gadgets etc).
Cash was never a bad idea when I was at uni – the textbooks, union fees, stationery, bus fares etc all added up, and it could be hard to make enough money to cover them without jeopardising my grades. Or, perhaps, if there’s a big ticket item he might be saving toward (electric-assist bike?), a contribution toward that?
He doesn’t eat out much, but he has to eat something, right? If he’s not a keen cook, maybe Uber Eats or Hello Fresh vouchers? Bacon of the Month club (https://www.tenderbelly.com/products/bacon-every-month-club)? I guess mberry taste-perception altering tablets might technically be a snack, but they also sound pretty interesting (https://thingamagift.com/gifts/mberry-tablets-alter-taste-perception-8/).
Netflix or Spotify subscriptions? Ancestry DNA /23andMe test? Massage? A good touchscreen cleaner (I’ve heard the iRoller is good)? Reusable smart notebook (Rocketbook Wave? Or one of these: https://www.businessinsider.com/best-smart-notebook/?r=AU&IR=T ?)? Camp stove that charges your phone (https://www.bioliteenergy.com/products/campstove-2)? LifeStraw or SteriPen?
Good luck!
It must be difficult for you not to be able to buy him things like you would like but what about looking at it from the other side? He is EXACTLY the type of person this planet needs! Everyone else has or buys way more stuff than needed. I would give him just plain money, he can do with it whatever he wants. And maybe a book about the zero waste movement as this seems to be not far from his lifestyle?
Cash. Various amounts of cash wrapped in various size boxes. My Mom did this one Christmas, and it was a delight. Bills, plus a few rolls of quarters (ostensibly for laundry, but really for vending machines). Cash fits all occasions and is always welcome. It is not exciting to shop for, but it is efficient.
My mom does this for us every year! It’s fun because we never know how much we will have in the end! Plus she sometimes wrapped up small gift (stocking stuffer type stuff) as well. This adds to the surprises
Hmmm. Is he likely to engage in any international travel in the next decade? Does he already have a passport? If yes, and no, respectively, then — a passport?
The games console is the obvious choice because it solves future gift buying problems. You can just get him a game(s) he requests OR giftcare for the online game store (even better : no physical disk to lose/move etc).
Not for this year, probably (unless maybe the reusable straws), but when he has his own place, something on this list might work for him?
https://www.core77.com/ultimategiftguide/81220/Zero-Waste-Christmas-Aced#gift=1