I am so consumed by a mental loop of HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE you would not even know that there are other elements to my life. I am looking forward to this part being over and the next part being well under way. There is no way to get to the next part without doing this part.
Today’s plan was watch episodes of The West Wing while playing the three (3) versions of Candy Crush I have on my phone, and pack two boxes between each episode. This should have resulted in a 2/1 ratio of boxes to episodes. Would you like to guess what the actual ratio is? In my partial defense, I allowed one substitution: making a scary phone call instead of packing two boxes. Counting the call as two boxes, I am at a ratio of 2/3, which makes me glad I converted the call into boxes before telling you.
What is my problem? What IS my problem?? I am stressed about packing and about all the packing that still needs to be done! Doing some packing would help with that! Also my hands and feet are freezing and the best way to fix that is to move around a little, maybe lift something heavy like a box. Instead I watched a third episode of West Wing and then walked across the house and sat down at my computer.
It’s discouraging how MANY boxes it takes. I packed the bedding and I used the largest boxes and it took three of those large boxes and I haven’t yet even packed all the bedding. Why do we have so much bedding? Are we USING all this bedding? Maybe I should open those boxes back up and get rid of more of the bedding.
I can’t even tell how much progress I’m making. The box pile is certainly getting large. But the house looks discouragingly the same. Am I a tenth of the way done? A hundredth? WHO CAN TELL.
I find I am no longer particularly stressed about the idea of living in a different house, or the idea of giving up this house. I can still get myself worked up about either thing if I try, but I can’t sustain it. I’m looking forward to living in the new house. I don’t need anymore the fiction that we will hang onto this house in case we want to move back. But I am not looking forward to all the calls and strangers involved in a new house.
One of my least favorite parts is not knowing who to call for what. Like, just for an example, the home inspector said that there is a place where a plumber removed too much of a support beam in order to make room for a pipe, and that situation needs to be remedied. Who do I call for that? What verb is it I’m even asking them for, other than “to remedy”? How do I figure out what kind of worker to hire when I don’t even know what kind of work needs to be done? Is there someone I could call and just hand them the inspection report and have them take care of it all without me having to make a whole bunch of calls? And if not, WHY NOT?? This seems like an opportunity just waving itself around in the air! “Hand me the inspection report and I will take care of it.” Or maybe there already are such people, but they are called contractors and they cost the same as buying an additional house, and that is why I am not hearing so much about them as the obvious answer to this problem. WHY ARE WE EVEN BUYING A HOUSE, WHAT A STUPID IDEA TO OWN A HOUSE.
Basically that is where I have put my stress about moving: into freaking out about fixing problems that have evidently been coasting along just fine for a couple of decades. I did search online for “handyman” with our city name, and I have found someone in a larger city about 40 minutes away who not only does general handyman work of a “no task too small” variety but also helps with moves and furniture assembly. So probably I have already solved my own problem and can get back to watching episodes of The West Wing now.
Moving is such a PITA. Personally, I think you are doing just fine. It will all get packed, it will work out.
Our lease is up at the end of next June, and I’m already wanting to throw all of my possessions away just to not have to pack them.
Ask your realtor who to call to fix that problem. Many successful realtors have a stable of people in their back pocket that they trust and can recommend to their clients . Most people need to fix things around their old house before they can put it on the market and have things fixed in their new house before they move in. To be able to give clients the names of trusted people to do just about anything around the house helps them sell houses more efficiently. We just moved a year ago and we’re astonished at the quality of people recommended by our realtor. Contrary to people we called previously on our own, those recommended by our realtor called back, showed up when they said they would and did the job. Amazing!
I was coming to say just this. The realtor should also have some idea if this is a small job for a handyperson or a larger job that will require a contractor/ permit etc..
Maybe you could contact the inspector and/or realtor for “house fixer” recommendations?
Call a general contractor. They should be able to do the work or would have contacts with those who could do it.
Excellent conclusion. No reason to worry! Tra-la, back to your shows. :)
p.s. it will all get done. enlist the kids to pack their own boxes! I’m sure you’ve done this already.
Seems like a contractor/carpenter/handyman kind of job. I bet the inspector would have a few names!
I’ve found watching episodes of Hoarders much more motivating while purging/packing than West Wing. (I’ve tried!) Also, if you have empty boxes waiting in every room and whenever you walk by one you put something in it they will fill up very quickly! Taking the time to make a bunch of boxes ready counts towards your packing boxes total. :)
Yes, packing is the worst. I ammof the wait-til-the-last-minute-and-shove-things-haphazardly-into-boxes sort of packer which I don’t recommend but which has also worked out just fine.
And perhaps this is not the best kind of life I could be living but we did, to my memory, ONE thing on the list of items our inspector firmly urged us to have taken care of. And nothing has molded or burst into flames or fallen off. And we have been here seven years now.
Oh wait! No we did a second thing on the list last summer. See? Plenty of time. West Wing isn’t going to watch itself!
Packing is the worst. It gives me decision fatigue of the highest order. Keep or toss? Disposition method if it’s being tossed? Packing method if it’s being kept. Packing schedule depending on necessity of item. Should it be cleaned before it is packed? And on and on with a heavy mental weight that can only be relieved with the most comforting TV shows.
Ditto your realtor on giving you one or more people to fix the house problems or– at the very least– tell you the job titles of the kinds of people to hire.
I recently saw an old Buzzfeed video in which a group of women hired two personal assistants who apparently rocked the house on making calls and resolving a ton of random tasks for all of them. I have no idea how to find and hire a good personal assistant, let alone how much it would cost, but– it could be helpful as you wade through getting the new house and selling the old one. (We had to do a lot of fixes and upgrades to sell our–finally sold, thank God– old house. We’re still working on major fixes to the new one.)
Side note re: packing bedding: I actually put all bedding, stuffed animals, and similar “this is soft and big” stuff into garbage bags that I labeled using Sharpies. Cheaper, fast, and it got the job done. I reserved boxes for things that were fragile, things that were heavy, and things that were small. And I stuffed smaller soft things (like dish towels, hand towels, etc.) in with things that needed cushioning or had extra room.
Also, and I mean this sincerely: you have a family that consists of a husband and a batch of bigger kids. Put them to work! There is zero reason why Paul can’t make phone calls and why your kids can’t do serious packing. These aren’t tasks that require and adult female to accomplish.
1) The last time we moved, we were surprised to find that our movers would not accept garbage bags full of soft things. Everything HAD to be in boxes. *grumble* YMMV, but FYI.
2) This is more of a SOLIDARITY comment, because of course you and your readers are already like-minded…but I find myself yelling more and more these days when I am particularly peeved at living in a house full of able-bodied male people yet I’m the only one doing x job: “I do not __________________ with my VAGINA!” It’s possible I have also been known to say this at work. Sliiiiiiiiiiiightly more under my breath. *RAGE*
We moved ourselves with help from family, so the garbage bags were a non-issue.
(And heck, yes: your 2nd point. I haven’t gotten to the point of rage yet, but I do get irritated. I think a lot of “men don’t do that,” is cover for “we’re used to being lazy and selfish in certain areas and don’t want to change.”)
Why are you having to have these items repaired? Is it because the current owner’s refused and was willing to back out of the deal if you forced their hand? And yes, your realtor should be able to help you find someone who can fix all the items.
There are just a million little things wrong with any house. Around here it’s typical to ask the seller to fix usage/safety issues (which they’re doing), but not to do all the million little things.
Yes, you do probably have too much bedding. Do you really need more than two sets of sheets per bed? I say no. Ratty towels? Keep a couple for the pets, and take the rest (and the extra bedding) to the local dog shelter.
I hate moving, but I enjoy purging items from my house. Just this weekend I tackled the area in the loft that has become a catchall for junk and threw away two bags of toys/stuffed animals/junk that no one has touched in six months.
I’m also rewatching the West Wing to cope with life/escape. Just wanted to commiserate.
We moved this weekend, so I am well-versed with the lack of desire to pack while at the same time panicking about the packing to be done. If I may be so bold as to offer some advice? I bought some wardrobe boxes, which were the absolute best investment; they seemed pricy when I bought them, but turned out to be worth every penny. All the things you have hanging in closets (which for us, is nearly everything) went into them, still on their hangers, then unpacked still on their hangers at the other end. All of our closets took literally 10 minutes to pack. If that. For me, worth every penny. In advance of the move, when I did laundry, I even started hanging things I normally wouldn’t hang, just for ease of packing later. It’s these: https://www.uline.com/Product/Detail/S-4750/Moving-Boxes/24-x-20-x-46-51-ECT-Double-Wall-Wardrobe-Box-Kit
Good luck and hang in there. If I understand, you’re keeping your old house for a while? That does make it easier and a bit less stressful, because you don’t have to have it all done by a certain date. You can always leave less urgent stuff and ferry them over later if necessary.
Do you have tradesmen you like and trust? I have a great plumber and electrician, and I ask them for recommendations all the time. They always seem to know who I need. And, when I call, I say John at John’s Plumbing recommended you for this job I need done. It always seems to get a better/quicker response than a cold call. Oh, and I often just say I’m not sure what it’s called, but here’s what I need fixed. They can figure it out from there or come take a look to figure it out. I hate the calls still, but I hate them less when I have a pretty high confidence the one call will take care of it.
This! All you need is one good tradesperson and they will start your network of other, reliable tradespeople. Our realtor has been good for some referrals, but a decent person in one trade will have names of people in other trades whose work they will vouch for, and those other trades are usually more willing to take the job – which might otherwise be too small – if you tell them who referred them.
My sister in-law went with a bathroom renovator whom friends of hers recommended, but because they only saw the shiny, pretty finishes of their new bathroom they had no real idea of the quality of the work, and behind the walls it was so bad that my sister in-law had to eventually sue the renovator to hire someone else to start from scratch, plus pay for damages that happened when their new pipes all leaked.
I know you said the support beam was just an example of the many inspection issues, but just thought I’d share relevant experience. We recently discovered the same issue (past plumber cut away too much framing) during a bathroom remodel. It had been covered up for roughly 10 years and the house did not collapse. Our general contractor called in his framing carpenter to fix it.
Back when we bought the house, I called a handyman service and asked for a guy to come fix the most urgent of the million things on the inspection sheet. Based on the stuff he did for us, I’m confident the guy they sent would have been able to deal with this if we’d known about it at the time.
Oh, and: if you hire a handyman or call a handyman service to send a guy, I recommend sending them a list of the items you’re most worried about in advance, and asking them to confirm that they can do those things. That way you know what to expect from them, and they know in advance if they need to bring lumber or drywall or whatever.
Yes, and because you have an inspection report, you can just SEND it to them and say #6, #12 and #21 please and they will give you a QUOTE!
If you really want to de-clutter, then “thoughtful packing” serves a purpose. But if you really just want to get from here to there, and you are moving a fairly short distance, which you are, then I suggest the “throw it all in the car and go” method. Don’t think, use boxes for the small stuff, trash bags for the soft stuff, and start making trips as soon as possible. Borrow a pick up from a friend. Put the kids to work.
Or if you REALLY want to be efficient, hire a mover to do it all. I moved less than a mile, many years ago, and hired a mover to do the majority of the packing and hauling. Best Money Ever Spent!
Same! We hauled a lot of stuff from one side of the neighborhood to the other but paid movers to do all the furniture etc. It was only a half-day job but I think it saved my marriage. Worth every penny!
My dad died last year and my mom has decided to move to a retirement community close by, which is an excellent decision for her social life and future and all of that but MY GOD the packing and moving! The only reason I’m not completely losing my mind is that two good friends of mine recently started an organizing business – they wanted more business and my mom needs help dealing with things. I felt like the smartest person on earth when I finally thought to connect the friends with my mom. Now they are both getting what they want/need and I don’t have to do much of anything anymore. That said, this has refreshed my recollection about why I hate moving. Our current house will be entirely unsuitable when we are older and can’t get around well so someday we will have to move but perhaps I’ll just pay 1-800-GOT-JUNK to come and take everything out of my house and throw it away and start over because it seems like it might just be easier that way…
I think it sounds like you are doing great.
I am a little jealous you can watch the west wing, I was watching it first in a celebratory and then in a dreadfully horrified mood the night of the election and have not been able to watch since which is awful.
I think if there is an issue on the inspection, then the current owners should fit ix. Oh, packing. The worst. I packed for our move to our current house over 10 years ago while dealing with a VERY fussy 6 month old. She was only happy when nursing, so I packed the whole house with one hand holding her and the other loading crap into boxes. I am surprised that more stuff didn’t break! Good luck!
Breathing into a paper bag just reading this. Also want to rewatch The West Wing and play Codycross (because I don’t Crush). We all have too goddamned much stuff, and it’s a giant pain in the ass especially when cleaning, painting or packing has to happen.
I sold 2 of our rental properties over the phone from a different state while my husband was deployed so 1) I feel your pain and also 2) WHY is no one in your house helping you with this??
As far as the inspection report I will say that what worked for me (as a seller in an area where we had to fix A TON of obnoxiously little things for the buyer to agree to the sale) was having Ang1e’s L1st. If you don’t have it you can always ask some friends in your area if they have it and then search for a handyman on there. Most will list what kind of work they do (in your case it sounds like general carpentry but also as someone else said if you have a list you can certainly send it to them and they will tell you if they can do all those things). I also hate calling people but I was able to find a short list of “companies” (usually just a guy with an LLC) and call them up and then do the rest via email/text. They did need to get into the house to give me a quote but my realtor let them in (again I was out of state) and then once I agreed to the quote they just did all the work. I had to find a bunch of different people because we had some electrical, some plumbing, and a lot of general stuff, but the benefit of a general contractor is you can deal with just one person and tackle a bunch of little tasks. Also, the inspector will usually flag all manner of things. Whether or not these actually need to be fixed is…eh. Because certainly a lot of the things we had to fix to sell our townhouse were not things that were flagged when we bought it only a few years before and it was fine to live in.
I got an email from my landlord a couple weeks ago (I’ve been renting a condo from the owner) saying he plans to sell next year and was wondering what my timeline is. And like, frankly, my timeline is to move in 2020. But I decided that ok, I wasn’t feeling like I was ready to think about buying something, but maybe I should check out what’s there? So I have, and the ball is very gently rolling right now, and I keep looking around my 1 bedroom (ONE BEDROOM) with despair, thinking I really want to declutter before I move, certainly before I move into my very first owned property. I decided to start with the wine.
I’d like to suggest getting an account on Nextdoor.com and then crowd sourcing your neighbors for finding a handyman or whatever else you need. I use it ALL THE TIME. It is also a great way to get rid of stuff you don’t want. I frequently put stuff on the curb and put a thing on nextdoor to tell people to come and get it.
You are a couple stages ahead of us in the buying/moving process, so I’m benefiting from your experience. I appreciate not only the strategic details you provide, but also the personal experience aspects of your process. We can have a virtual clink of glasses when we’re both moved and settled in!