Two major moving milestones: (1) Yesterday I packed the first box. (2) Today I ordered new return-address labels.
Both of these are still a little risky, because the closing (when the house officially becomes ours) isn’t until later next month. But this week has marked the end of the uncertainty period for us as buyers. There were things we had to have evaluated/inspected as part of our offer, and then the seller had to accept/decline what we asked them for as a result of those evaluations/inspections, and so things could easily have fallen through on either side: we could have found something we weren’t willing to deal with at all (“We’re sorry to back out but the inspector said the walls are at least 80% termite at this point”); or we could have asked the seller to handle something and the seller could have declined to do so, and that too could have ended the deal. (I have heard from friends who live elsewhere that it is not common in those places to ask sellers to fix things. Where I live, it’s assumed that the asking price of the house reflects a house that is safe and usable; if anything in the house is not safe or not usable, and that thing hasn’t been disclosed ahead of time as something already taken into account when setting the asking price, it’s common for the seller to agree to handle/fix it or else give a credit or partial-credit at closing for the cost of handling/fixing it. But it would not be common for sellers to fix anything cosmetic or relatively minor: broken fence, painting, broken interior doorknob. We are talking more along the lines of fixing faulty electricity, a broken water heater, a dangerous furnace, etc.)
But we said what we wanted handled/fixed/credited, and the seller agreed to those things, and we all signed our names. It looks to me as if our part is now pretty much over, except for all the packing and cleaning and moving and paper-signing and address-changing and utilities and insurance and everything else. But we don’t seem to have very many pre-closing things to do, if any. The seller has to work on the fixes they’ve agreed to do, and as long as they DO do those fixes, I don’t see any particular reason to think things would fall through at this point. Our hope is that the fixes will be done briskly: both parties agreed informally ahead of time that if possible we’d all enjoy closing earlier than originally scheduled.
And so that seemed to be my cue to pack a box or two. I geared up for it: I had coffee and scrambled eggs, and I told myself I could watch ONE episode of West Wing while I ate, and then when that was over I had to pack a box. It was a good first box-packing, too: I packed up quite a bit of a closet. It’s the closet where I keep things such as gift bags, tissue paper, gifts I bought for a specific someone and then forgot about, gifts I bought for an unspecified someone and then never found the right person, gifts I bought to have on hand if one of the kids suddenly got invited to a party, etc. While I did pack a lot of it, I got rid of more than I packed. It was a little painful, yet satisfying and refreshing. Like peeling surgical tape off the skin when it’s been there a couple of days. I donated:
• every gift bag I didn’t like
• any specific-someone gift that no longer seemed like a good idea
• any unspecified-someone gift that had been there more than a couple of years
• every kid-birthday-party gift that was for an age group younger than my youngest kid
• two Target bags of fabric ribbon, bought on clearance long ago when I thought I might be someone who would wrap gifts in hemmed fabrics and reusable cloth ribbons
• a dozen decorative reusable gift boxes purchased on clearance during that same deluded stage
• two Target bags of disposable gift bows and ribbons I hardly ever use because our cats try to eat them; I kept one spool because I do very occasionally use it for a craft or for a gift I’m giving outside our household, and so if I don’t keep some I’ll have to go out and buy more and that would be galling
Long ago I read a book on hoarding, and the one thing I remember about it (other than my rapidly-reached conclusion that I may be someone who likes to save things but in no way do I qualify as an actual hoarder) is that the most painful moment of getting rid of something is RIGHT BEFORE your hand lets go of it. That is, they asked hoarders to throw something away, and they would have the person evaluate their level of stress and pain as they held the item over the trash or donation barrel, and the person would be right up there at 9 or 10—weeping with reluctance to get rid of the thing, thinking they couldn’t bear to get rid of it. Then they asked the person again about five minutes after the item had been disposed of, and the person would rate their stress and pain at around a 1 or 2, or even a 0. I found this very useful when getting rid of those gorgeous and totally unused gift boxes. They’re so pretty! They’re so sturdy! But I’m not using them for ANYTHING. I’ve kept them for years in case I could think of a use! But I have not thought of a use! Let’s set those pretty things free in the world for someone else who CAN find a use for them!
…Where was I? Oh, yes: I packed a box. Just the one box.
Today I have packed two more boxes. I keep getting stuck, is one problem. Like, I start to pack up the books, and realize a lot of the books aren’t mine to decide if we’re keeping them or not. Or I realize I don’t have enough smallish boxes for packing books, and need to get more from the liquor store (my friend Morgan got me two huge batches of moving boxes from people in her neighborhood, so Small Boxes for Heavy Things is the only gap I need to fill). Or I wonder can we possibly get rid of Paul’s dozen box sets of DVDs, now that it’s been nearly a decade since we had a DVD player?—but I guess I should ask him and not assume. Or I think, “Can I pack the winter coats, or does that guarantee an early cold snap?” And so on. But I did pack two more boxes.
And I ordered the address labels. That’s a practical thing (it’s nice to have them for one million change-of-address purposes) but also a celebratory one: I remember when we moved to this house, it was a very exciting stage of the process. If the sale were to fall through, I would be out a little bit of money, but it’s not enough of a risk to be worth waiting. And it was a lot of fun to choose. Go on and guess how many of the four sets I entered our CURRENT address on, before realizing it. (It was all four.)
So what is your donation strategy for the move? That is often a sticking point for people. I tend to wait until I have a trunk’s worth of bags before I make the trip on a weekend, since I wouldn’t get to Goodwill in my weekly life. I suppose it matters more if you will have large things that need to be picked up.
My current plan is that whenever I’m going past Goodwill, I’ll try to remember to load up the car. But it could be that that won’t work as things accelerate. I also might put a bunch of stuff on the lawn with a “FREE” sign.
Excellent. Are you on NextDoor? It lets you post about free stuff. It can teach a wider audience that way.
*reach*
I used Nextdoor for curb alerts this summer. It was crazy fast!!! Strollers, half dilapidated deck chairs, poof! Gone!
Oooh what an exciting stage! We have moved way too many times in our 9-year marriage (9 actually, I just counted), but it is nice to declutter and see lots of boxes heading toward donation. At this point, we have only a few of those should we move again soon (dear God please no). You’re quickly nearing my favorite part of moving – finding new places for All The Things! So exciting in a new space.
That’s so exciting! And think how thrilled someone will be when they find these brand new things that are JUST what they’ve been looking for :)
Where in the world do you donate your things?!
I feel like I’m drowning in a pile of worn furniture we no longer have a use for and clothing and DVDs and toys – it’s all still USEFUL stuff, but WE just have no use for it. And I feel like I can’t find anyone who would even vaguely be interested in it.
I live in an urban area, and we have several Facebook groups that are named “FREE – [several surrounding city names]”. I’ve gotten rid of A LOT of items by posting there. There is also freecycle.org you can check for your area.
We usually give it to Goodwill, or we Freecyle it. Or once when we had a ton of stuff we put it all on the lawn with a big “FREE” sign. People didn’t take all of it, but they took a LOT of it.
I live in an area that doesn’t have near the services in the lower 48, but we have Big Brothers Big Sisters, and Goodwill. There is also a local charity that comes and picks up stuff. I’m wondering if you might be in a rural area, which might make it much harder for you to donate. I haven’t done this, but other people do put stuff out on the lawn and say-FREE. Our trash can be other people’s treasures-when I had no money at all, I was so grateful for any bit of donated furniture.
Is there a woman’s shelter in your area? I’ve donated lightly used toys and clothes to my local shelter. Sometimes women and children leave with the clothes on their backs-imagine having nothing and being clothed and toys and clothes for your children.
I have ordered a return address stamp (from Etsy), and it is the greatest thing. I moved right after I got married, and it made wedding thank you notes a breeze!
As someone who packed up her winter clothes when she was readying her house to go on the market at the beginning of summer, put that box AT THE BACK OF THE STORAGE UNIT, and then decided to build a house rather than buy one thus dragging the process into January…I would advise if you pack the winter coats, keep the box somewhere immediately accessible.
So – possible stupid question coming up alert – have you sold your current house now? I know that the US system/timetable of moving/selling/buying is different from ours in th UK (escrow etc), but I’m not really clear how. We, for instance, almost always buy and sell in one continuous process and therefore move out of one house and into the next on the same day once the funds have been processed (exhausting and, often, fraught).
My current plan is that whenever I’m going past Goodwill, I’ll try to remember to load up the car. But it could be that that won’t work as things accelerate. I also might put a bunch of stuff on the lawn with a “FREE” sign.
No, although it’s really common here to have part of the contract be that you’re not committed to the new house unless the old house sells by a certain date. For a variety of reasons we’re not in that situation, and we’re currently trying to decide whether to sell our old house or rent it (using a property management company—neither of us is handy enough to be a landlord).
I’m actually shocked…I always assumed you were the kind of person who wrapped gifts in fabric ribbon…
But, yay! Getting rid of stuff you no longer need/use (maybe this post will spur me to do the same). Starting this process early is good. Considering how often I’ve packed/unpacked – take this little bit of advice…mark the description on ALL four sides of the box (not the top) that way no matter how they are stacked you will know what it is in it.
But hire someone to actually move said boxes and furniture – it will save your sanity.
I went through a phase of sewing gift bags, and then my family informed me that they don’t like cloth gift bags and presents are supposed to be wrapped in plant-destroying colorful paper.
Now I don’t know whether to insist on the path of virtue or just figure out how I can offset their eco-unfriendly preferences.
We have a thing called “The Family Wrap” where we hastily tie gifts in scarves, sarongs, small blankets, pillowcases, etc. It’s incredibly lazy and we think it’s hilarious.
Oh I love this!
Yes! I do 2 sides, but my husband, despite 50/50 odds, always manages to stack every single box with the description facing the wall.
This is all SO exciting.
As a change-averse person living in our “starter” home for 11 years and adding four children to the mix, these posts are both making my heart pound with anxiety while also allowing my mind to inch closer to the idea that moving might not be the apocalypse I imagine. Thank you for chronicling the details of this journey!
*obsessively checks for an update*
:)
When we purchased our house, the sellers agreed to replace the roof and gutters. Despite closing taking an extra two weeks, plus them having another week of rent back, the gutters that were falling off the fascia were still there when we took posession. It took another two weeks to have them installed, which leads me to believe they hadn’t scheduled until we asked about it. Like we just wouldn’t notice?
We also asked that the house be professionally cleaned, which they declined to do, saying they’d clean it. There was no attempt to clean anything.
There was also a guy sleeping in the garage when our agent showed up to hand us the key. Yes, key, as in one single key.
It is a great house, though.